As previously stated, I don't really do romance. But I can do unrequited love—especially if those who have been struck by Cupid's arrow make total morons of themselves. So behold! I give you the most bizarre love triangle ever devised! Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic, Mario, Total Drama Island, the Goggywoggles, or the Knights of King Arthur's Round Table.

The next day everyone showed up at the sound of the bugle call to see the strangest site—Chef with a packed suitcase getting ready to board the Boat of Shame.

"Where's Chef going?" Shadow asked.

"He's going on a three-day vacation," Chris replied, as Chef got in the boat eagerly. "But don't worry. I got some extra help so we won't fall behind in production."

Three beings climbed out of the boat, the last one tripping and knocking the others over.

"OW!"

"Get off of me!"

"I can't feel my servo motors!"

Finally, the three of them managed to disentangle themselves and they walked over to Chris.

"Campers, say hello to Metal Knuckles, Shadow Android, and Metal Sonic."

"Metal Sonic?" Sonic gasped. "Didn't you drown in the river?"

"One: Robots don't breathe and can't drown, and two: I'm Metal Sonic 2.0," replied Metal Sonic. "Metal Sonic is catchier though, so we usually drop the 2.0 part."

"The Metals and Shadow Android will be cooking the food, setting up the stages, and demeaning themselves in the challenges until Chef comes back," Chris said cheerfully, handing out some clothing items. "Go change into these and meet me back here in five minutes."

Five minutes later, everyone showed up dressed in medieval armor, save Amy, who had a long medieval dress on. Chris handed everyone paper mache swords.

"From here on in you are to be referred to by your codenames," Chris said. "Sonic, you are King Arthur. Shadow, you are Sir Lancelot. Amy, you are Lady Guinevere. Oh, by the way, you three need to suddenly form an interesting love triangle."

"What?" Shadow asked, his eyes widening.

"No way! Sonic's the only one for me!" Amy huffed.

"EW!" Sonic agreed.

Chris shrugged. "Figure it out. Mephiles, you are Sir Gawain. Ix, you are Sir Galahad. Bean, you're Sir Lamorak. Scourge, you're Sir Percival. And Espio, you're Hanzo Hattori."

"Might I ask why?" Espio—I mean, Hanzo Hattori asked.

"Because I recently finished every story on Samurai Warriors and Hanzo Hattori is my favorite," Chris explained. "And because I say so."

"I see," Espio conceded. At least Hanzo Hattori was a ninja; and it seemed Chris wasn't expecting him to participate in an interesting love triangle, so he was content.

"OK, campers, you medieval Knights—and one Samurai Ninja—must venture into the dark, creepy forest, evade the Goggywoggles, and slay the Giant Dragon. You'll need to work together; but remember: Only the person who actually slays the dragon gets immunity tonight. Not the whole team. And if King Arthur, Sir Lancelot, and Lady Guinevere actually show signs of a interesting love triangle, they will get the chance to win a super secret prize in addition to the 100,000 grand prize. Begin."

*Toilet Cam*

Sonic's—King Arthur's—POV

"A LOVE triangle? What kind of a low-down, dirty, rotten creep does he think I am? He thinks that I would actually pretend to love someone for a secret prize that I don't even know if I want yet? For all I know, it could be a year's supply of fake dog vomit!" His tirade over, he grew thoughtful, thinking of all the things he could do with fake dog vomit. "I suppose I could say I like Amy. The interesting love part can be entirely supplied by her. After all, SEGA's been doing that for years and it always works out swell."

Shadow's—Sir Lancelot's—POV

"This is a perfect opportunity to reveal the fact that I've secretly loved Amy for years. And the best part is, everyone will think that I'm pretending so she'll never ever know." Shadow mused, then his eyes widened as he stared into the camera. "Is that thing on?"

Bean's—Sir Lamorak's—POV

"Love triangle? I love a triangle!" he asked, holding up a small metal triangle. "Her name's Rosy. Isn't she pretty?"

The challenge had started, and everyone was now in the middle of the woods, trying to make out the confusing directions Chris had etched on a piece of paper for them so they could find the Giant Dragon.

"It says first we have to find the Big Rock and pull out—what is that word?—anyway, we have to pull something out. When we do, the happy singing Wood Elf will appear and tell us how to find the Path of Perpetual Tickle Torture…" Sonic, or King Arthur, stopped and stared at the paper, blinking slowly. "If we survive the Goggywoggles, we'll meet up with the Giant Dragon." He re-read the directions. "Ok, let's do it."

"First we must find a rock with something sticking out of it," Ix—Sir Galahad—replied.

"But we don't even know what it is!" Scourge—Sir Percival—protested. "It could take us hours, or even days, or perhaps years, to—"

"Found it!" cheered Bean—Sir Lamorak. He pointed to a rock that had, of all things, a rubber chicken with its beak jabbed into it.

"O…K…" Muttered Sonic. "So we found the rock. Now where is the happy singing Wood Elf?"

"OVER HERE!"

Everyone looked over to the voice. It was Metal Knuckles, who, oddly enough, was sitting inside a tree trunk, wearing green-red-and-white lederhosen and sporting a pair of earmuffs shaped like Elf ears.

"You're the Wood Elf?" Amy—Lady Guinevere—asked in disbelief.

"Yup!" Metal Knuckles said cheerfully, holding up a plate. "Wanna cookie?"

"Cookies!" Bean cheered, rushing over and grabbing as many as he could possibly carry.

"Which one of you is King Arthur?" Metal Knuckles asked. Everyone instantly pointed at Sonic. "Only King Arthur can pull the rubber chicken Excluckiber out of the stone. And then only if he stands in front of the rock and loudly proclaims the name of his true love to all around. Terrible things will happen if you don't."

Sonic blushed and stood in front of the stone. Feeling extremely foolish, he muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" Metal Knuckles asked, thoroughly enjoying his Sonic tormenting. He should do this more often.

Sonic turned a deeper red and muttered something, slightly louder, but not loud enough to make anything out.

"I can't hear you!" Metal Knuckles yelled.

"I SAID AMY, OK!" Sonic screamed. Amy shrieked and jumped up and down for joy. Sonic moaned and curled up in a semi-fetal position, repeatedly banging his head on the big rock.

"You may now remove the chicken."

Sonic numbly reached up and took the chicken, not pausing his head-bashing for even a second.

"I knew it!" Amy cooed. "I knew it!"

"I hate myself," Sonic muttered. "The things I do for fake dog vomit."

Metal Knuckles snickered, then cleared his throat. "Off you go to the Path of Perpetual Tickle Torture, and the Goggywoggles therein! Oh, anyone want another cookie? I just about to take them out of the oven."

All of a sudden, Metal Knuckles' tree stump burst into flames. As the gang walked off to the Path of Perpetual Tickle Torture, the last they saw of Metal Knuckles was his hurried, screaming panicking as he tried to jump out of the hole in the tree. He only succeeded in getting his head stuck in it.

"So…is this the Path of Perpetual Tickle Torture?" asked Ix—Sir Galahad. The group was looking down a long path. The trees on either side had grown up and intertwined their branches, forming a long canopy.

And the entire trail was covered with bright, puffy pink feathers taken out of a poodle pillow.

Mephiles'—Sir Gawain's—eyes widened. "Crud," he muttered, and had a severe allergic attack.

Shadow said nothing of Mephiles' sudden outbreak, but gave him a look to show that he approved of it; then he started down the trail, not particularly caring if anyone followed him or not.

Everyone exchanged glances and followed Shadow.

After a few minutes, the crew started to hear a sinister laugh. They all froze. Amy saw something glowing in the bushes and screamed. Everyone jumped as Shadow Android, dressed in a moss-covered outfit, stepped out, shrieking something about brambles piercing his servo motors.

He finally straightened up, cleared his throat, and said, "I am the evil Goggywoggle leader. I challenge your best fighter, Sir Lancelot, to a duel to the finish. If he wins, you may go on your way. If I win, you will be trapped here and tickled for all eternity. Or you can go home and stuff yourselves with cheetos and seven-up and never do anything with your life."

"Yeah!" Bean cheered.

Shadow sighed and stepped forward, unsheathing his paper mache sword. "I accept."

"Fool!" Shadow Android shrieked with laughter. "Don't you know we Goggywoggles are invincible unless you declare your feelings for the one you love the most?" Then his eyes widened. "Uh…did I say that last part aloud?"

Everyone nodded, and Shadow Android sighed. "Crud," he muttered.

Shadow turned to Amy without hesitation; his crimson red eyes seeming to sear into her very soul. He took hold of her hand and kissed it gently. "Amy," he said quietly, in his smooth, deep voice. "I have been hiding the truth for you for many years. It was you who reminded me of my promise, you who saved me; and you who give me a reason to live. I am no longer capable of feeling such a pure emotion as love in great quantities; but all that I am capable of giving I give to you wholly and completely. Your name suits you; for you are a beautiful, fragrant rose in every way. Your beauty and kindness is unrivalled on this earth; there has never been another like you; and there never shall be. I know that one such as I could never hope to be considered worthy enough to receive your love and affection, but Amy…" Shadow's voice seemed to quiver at this next part. "I truly, deeply, love you with every fiber of my being."

At the end of this speech, everyone—including Shadow Android—was staring at Shadow in open-mouthed shock.

Amy finally caught her voice long enough to say, "Wow."

Shadow's extremely unexpected and romantic confession of love had shocked Shadow Android so badly that his gears locked up temporarily. Sonic, who despised romance in any shape or form was the first to awake from his post-confession stupor. "Quick, let's get out of here before he comes to his senses!"

Sonic's voice brought everyone out of their own stupor and they all rushed away from Shadow Android, Chief of the Goggywoggles.

"Well, now where's this Giant Dragon?" Sonic asked after they escaped from the Goggywoggles. "The note said that we'd find him if we escaped."

The group entered a large clearing that Metal Sonic alone was standing in the middle of.

"So you have survived," he mused. "Only Lady Guinevere holds the key to weakening the Dragon so he may be defeated. She must stand before all and state the name of the one she loves most."

Amy stood in front of everyone, and looked at Sonic, whom she'd had a major crush on for years, and then Shadow, who she'd just found out was dreamily romantic. Both males were silently pleading with her, their eyes telling them the secrets of their hearts.

For deep in both their souls, Sonic and Shadow were both wishing for Amy to choose Shadow as her true love.

Amy stood her ground, biting her lip as she tried desperately to decide who she would choose. Finally, she made her decision and promptly burst into tears.

"I CAN'T HANDLE THIS KIND OF PRESSURE!" she shrieked, turning and running out of the clearing.

"Oh, too bad," Metal Sonic said, beginning to morph. In a few seconds, he had changed into Metal Overlord. "You lose."

Then, before anyone could do anything, Metal Overlord pounced them and swallowed them in one gulp.

Five minutes later, a large panel in Metal Overlord's stomach opened up and the campers crashed into the campsite, where a grinning Chris awaited them.

"Congratulations," Chris grinned. "You have all been killed and eaten. That means you all lose. I'll see everyone at the elimination campfire tonight."

Suddenly, Amy burst into the campsite, grabbing Sonic and kissing him right on the mouth. Then she dropped him like a rock and kissed Shadow. Then she sighed and walked off.

Sonic spluttered and spit. "Amy cooties!" he yelled in disgust.

Shadow's crimson red eyes had a far-away look to them. "She kissed me," he said happily, a dreamy little grin on his face.

At that instant, Mario burst into the clearing, wearing a funny pointed hat with a feather in it instead of his traditional red cap. This time, however, he was not alone. His brother Luigi was with him, sporting a green pointed hat with a feather, Princess Peach was there too; with a feather in his crown, and so was Toad, who had somehow jabbed a feather into his mushroom-shaped head. In front of this strange crew was a bird with a green cap and feather and a longbow; with a quiver full of toilet plungers.

"It is I, Hooded Robin, and my Mario Men, here to steal from the rich Sheriff of Koopingham and give to the poor Mushroom Folk," the bird stated heroically.

Metal Overlord swallowed them all in one gulp. And this time, he didn't let them out.

"Hey! Who turned out the lights?" Toad's disembodied voice called from Metal Overlord's stomach.

"Hey, Luigi, you got-a any-a can openers-a?"

"I sure-a do, Mario! I always-a come-a prepared!"

Metal Overlord's eyes got big. "Oh, crud!" he yelped, rushing out of site.

That night at the elimination campfire, Chris started passing out the marshmallows.

"Ix."

"I got called first!" Ix cheered.

"Espio."

Espio wordlessly grabbed a marshmallow.

"Sonic."

Sonic grabbed his marshmallow happily.

"Scourge."

"Got it!" Scourge cheered, waving his marshmallow in the air.

"Shadow."

Shadow grinned and grabbed a marshmallow.

"Mephiles."

"Good."

"Two campers. One marshmallow." Chris raised the marshmallow so both Bean and Amy could see it. "And the last marshmallow goes to…Bean. Amy, the campers have spoken. Hit the road."

Amy's eyes teared up, and she sadly walked the Dock of Shame. Just before she walked to the Boat of Losers, she turned to Sonic and Shadow, who were coincidentally sitting right next to each other.

"I love you!" she called, blowing a kiss. "I'll wait for you, OK?" Then she got on the Boat of Losers and left.

No one could tell who she was talking too. But everyone could tell that both of the hedgehogs who had competed for Amy's attentions that day really, really hoped she was talking to Shadow.

The Goggywoggles are from Get Smart. Maxwell Smart mentions them at times; he states he doesn't sleep with the lights off because, "The Goggywoggles might get me." Hooded Robin and his Mario Men are also not my idea; there is an episode about them on the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. Also, in case you didn't catch it, Metal Knuckles was dressed like a Keebler Elf and I don't own them or their cookie making tree. But it was fun to incorporate that stuff in this chapter. RR, please!