Bella's POV

I was laying in my room feeling miserable. It had been about a week since Jacob ended our friendship. I'd tried not to lose it like I did with him. I tried to do like Seth and Leah said, but it was just so painful. It was more than just the loss of Jacob. I felt like no one in the world could love me, like there was something terribly wrong with me. And yes, I remembered what Leah said to me last week, but I didn't know how to believe that this was anyone's fault but mine. Not only had I been left twice, but both men were so good. It just seemed like it had to be me.

I thought about calling Leah, like she told me to, but I felt like she only gave me her number to be nice. She couldn't possibly really be interested in helping me. Why would she be? She didn't even know me. She was just trying to be nice because she felt sorry for me.

I suddenly heard the door open and close downstairs, followed voices. One I was sure was Charlie's, but I couldn't make out the other one. Then I heard footsteps on the stairs and a few moments later, my bedroom door burst opened to my surprise. Charlie never entered my room without first knocking.

It wasn't Charlie though. It was Leah, and she apparently didn't care about knocking. She looked at me kind of disappointed but not very surprised. "Well, I can't say as I'm surprised to see you like this."

I sat up and looked at her surprised. I never expected Leah to show up at my house like this and then to just come into my room. "Leah, what are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here? Why in the hell are you sitting in this room feeling sorry for yourself over those two asshats? Didn't I tell you not to do that?" Leah asked as she walked further into my room.

I self-consciously looked down at the floor. "I tried. I tried to do what you and Seth said, but it just hurts so much. I couldn't just go on with my life like they didn't leave me. Look, you didn't have to come here, Leah. I'm grateful for you helping Seth help me and for giving me your number, but I know you just did it to be nice. You don't need to worry about my problems though. I'll handle it."

Leah laughed, surprising me. I wasn't sure what I said that was funny. "That's gotta be the first time someone accused me of doing something to be nice. I don't do anything to be nice. You can ask anybody. If I didn't want you to call me, I wouldn't have given you my number. As for you handling things, is this how you do that? By wasting away like some pathetic woman who can't survive without a man?"

Well, I agreed with Leah on one thing. She definitely wasn't trying to be nice. She'd just called me pathetic. And, yes, I guess I was kind of pathetic. I had sunk back into depression and pushed everyone out once more. Yeah, I was pathetic, but I didn't expect anyone to actually say it. Everyone else who tried to talk to me, which was mainly just Charlie at this point, were kind and said that I should try to move on. "You came here to call me pathetic?"

"I came here to get you to stop being so damned stupid and lovesick over a couple of douche bags who don't deserve it," Leah said.

"Why? Why do you care what I do?" I asked.

"Weren't you listening the last time I was here? I know all too well what they did to you, and the urge to waste your life in a bed feeling sorry for yourself. I'm not gonna let you do the same. Get your ass out of this bed and stop letting them win," Leah ordered.

"It's not about winning," I said. The way she said that made it seem like it was some kind of game, but it wasn't. Jacob and he both meant the world to me in different ways. Without them, I was nothing. That was real and it was painful. It was not some stupid game.

"The hell it's not. It is all about winning at this point. It's about getting your ass back up and showing them that while they tore you down, you're not going to stay there. You're going to pull yourself up and show them they aren't important enough for you to slowly kill yourself over," Leah said.

I opened my mouth to protest, but apparently Leah wasn't done.

"They aren't worth this crap. No man is. Do you think they give a damn that you're like this? You think Jacob Black is sitting at home right now feeling guilty about how he hurt you. I promise you he's not. He probably hasn't given you a second thought. And if he has, if he gives a damn at all, he's proud of himself. You're stroking his ego right now. He likes that he has enough power over you that you've fallen apart over him. It's probably the same thing that what's his face is thinking if anything about you," Leah said.

I couldn't help but flinch. That couldn't be true. They weren't so cold that they would think that. "N…no. That's not true. They're good guys. They wouldn't laugh at me like that."

"Good guys don't leave girls alone in the woods and in the rain. They are not good guys. They used you and then when they got tired of you, they walked away like you were nothing. And, yeah, it sucks. It sucks that you fell for a couple of assholes. And it probably feels like it's your fault, especially since it happened more than once. That's crap. It's not anything that's wrong with you. About the only thing wrong with you is that you have bad taste in men. This is their fault. They're quite frankly just assholes," Leah said.

"But they're not. They were good to me. He was amazing. He treated me like I was most important person in the world. He told me he loved me and could never love anyone else as long as he lived," I said with a smile. Then I felt a pang as I remembered how he left me.

"Yeah, all guys say that. Sam said that a lot too," Leah said as a flash of pain reached her eyes. She covered it up so quickly though that I wondered if I imagined it.

"When he left, Jake picked up the pieces. He was always there for me. He dimmed the pain," I said.

Leah narrowed her eyes at me. "Say his name."

"Jacob," I said. I knew that wasn't who she was talking about. I couldn't say his name though. I hadn't said his name since he left. I hadn't even thought it. I knew if I did, it would kill me.

Now Leah rolled her eyes. "I wasn't talking about that asshole and you know it. Say the other asshole's name."

"I…I can't," I said.

"Why?" she asked.

"It hurts."

"It hurts now. Keeping yourself from saying his name doesn't change that. All it's gonna do is keep you from moving on. Say his name," Leah ordered again.

"I can't," I repeated once more.

"Yes, you can. Say it," she pushed.

I shook my head.

"Say his name!" Leah almost yelled.

I was trembling and I felt a huge pain in my heart as I even thought about saying it. "E…Edward." Saying it did hurt, but not as much as I thought it would. It didn't break me like I was convinced it would.

"Say it again," Leah commanded.

"Edward." This time there was no waver in my voice. It hurt still, but it was a bit less. "Edward."

Leah nodded and smiled slightly. "Said his name three times and you're still here, aren't you? Don't ever let a guy keep you from saying his name again. That just gives him power over you that he doesn't deserve."

"You're wrong. I'm the one that didn't deserve him. He was always so much better than me," I said sadly.

"He told you that, did he?" Leah asked.

"No. He always told me he loved me and how great I was, but he was just so perfect and extraordinary. It didn't make sense for him to love me," I said.

"That's crap. He led you to believe that, even if he didn't say it. He wanted you to think you were less than him. That's why he isolated you from the rest of your friends. He needed to become the center of your world, but he made sure you knew you weren't the center of his, even if he didn't say it out loud," Leah said.

"That's not true," I protested.

"No? So he didn't keep you from your other friends? He didn't make you hang out with him and his family alone? He didn't force you into doing things you didn't want to, like a birthday party at his house?" Leah asked.

"My father told you all that," I asked surprised and kind of upset. I didn't want Charlie telling everyone about my personal business.

"Actually, he told my father. You get my point though. Your boyfriend was a controlling little asshole. He cut you off from virtually everyone in your life until he was the only one you counted on. If he'd stayed, it would've only gotten worse. The relationship might have even turned abusive," Leah said.

"No," I said as I shook my head. Leah was wrong. Edward didn't control me and he never would've hurt me. Everything he ever did was for my benefit. And he never forced me to give anyone up. I chose that. Although, now that I thought about it, I wasn't sure why. Why had I given up my friends?

"Yeah, I know you can't see it right now, but you will, and you'll see that you're better off without him. Now get up. I'm not gonna let you waste away in this room. You're gonna get up, get dressed, and come with me," Leah said in a tone that left no room for argument.

"Where?" I asked.

"My place. My folks are away for little getaway this weekend, so Seth and I have the place to ourselves. You'll hang out with us tonight. We're ordering Pizza and watching movies all night. Your dad's fine with it. In fact, he's just worried I won't be able to get you to come. But I will," Leah said confidently.

"I have no say in this, do I?" I asked.

"Not at all. Let's go," Leah said.

I sighed and started to get up. I didn't really want to, but I got the feeling I wouldn't win the argument if I started one.