Chapter 11
もらい泣き
Kenji gave Sanosuke a sharp look. The man, wide-eyed, shook his head vigorously. Don't ask me! The lawyer took no notice.
"You see the predicament I am in. Your father can't legally bequeath your sister anything under Japanese inheritance law. I don't know how he convinced Horibe-sensei to put that in there. As to why he had all foreign correspondence go to my house, it's because he didn't want anything related to his other family anywhere near official offices. Or your mother, for that matter. Which is why I kept all the letters at my residence."
"My mother didn't know about this?" asked Kenji, still reeling.
"Your mother knew of a twin son from the same woman, Iribe Yumiko. Said son passed away in infancy. Kamiya-kun wasn't aware of the surviving daughter. Your father no doubt kept this a secret to avoid resentment over the money. Fairly common."
"But she would have known! Kenji couldn't have inherited all that money without his mother knowing," protested Sanosuke.
Hidaka clicked his tongue.
"No. A clause was included that prevented the beneficiary from receiving the money while Kamiya-san lived. Himura-kun thought of everything. You might also want to know that your father withdrew funds twice. Once in the 19th year of Meiji and once in the 22nd year. Both sums were converted to foreign currency and sent to the address on the envelope you brought to me. The second amount was double the first one. I wouldn't normally know this off the top of my head but I've been working this file so much that every detail is etched in my mind."
Kenji felt light-headed. This was too much information in too little time for him to process. Yet he needed to press on.
"Do you have any of the letters my father received?" he asked, his voice hoarse.
"Sadly no. The lot went up in flames along with my house. The one you have must have ended up with your father's things by mistake. What is most regrettable is that Himura-kun entrusted me with a sealed letter to be sent to the Netherlands in the event of his death. That has also been destroyed, which means his other family doesn't know of his passing yet."
He gave back the envelope to Kenji who took it with shaky hands.
"I hope I answered your question. I am glad you saved me the trouble of chasing you down. Last your father told me, you were hidden in the mountains of Kyoto. I should be in touch with you within the year, once I settle the legal difficulties of the succession. Fear not, I am quite excellent at what I do; the money will be yours in time. I presume you are staying at your mother's residence?"
Kenji nodded distractedly. Hidaka rubbed his hands together like a merchant having made a great sale.
"Perfect! Well, gentlemen, if you don't anymore questions, I will be on my way."
The duo scrambled to their feet to exchange a polite bow. Hidaka replied in kind and left without further ado.
xxxx
The sun courted the horizon. Heavy black clouds loomed, promising relief from the still oppressive heat. Kenji and Sanosuke walked side by side, silently.
His two children. Ai Van Der Meer. His other family. Sister.
These words echoed in Kenji's mind, over and over. He didn't know what to do with them. He didn't want to think about them. He wished he could just go back to knowing nothing. Sanosuke seemed as disconcerted as him at this new information, which meant that whatever he knew about his father was something else entirely. Kenji wondered if he should even bother asking anymore. Could he weather more life altering secrets? He longed for the simplicity of the mountain hut. He ached for the clarity of his sword.
They reached Doctor Genzai's clinic, now Megumi's. Sanosuke wouldn't take the chance of leaving Kenji alone with Yahiko and Tsubame; information of that nature would need to be shared calmly and if his short acquaintance with the young man had taught him anything, it was that Kenji, despite appearances, was a ticking bomb. As soon as they stepped inside, Megumi could read off Sanosuke's face that something was wrong. She forced a smile and invited the boys upstairs to share dinner. Kenji walked passed her and without as much as glance. Megumi locked the door and raised an eyebrow at the tall man. What is going on? Sanosuke shook his head. Not now.
Megumi hadn't planned on hosting Kenji and so she had to split Sanosuke's share with him. It didn't matter, however; the young man barely touched the food. During their meal, the clouds finally let go of their burden. Heavy rain pelted the roof aided by unrelenting gusts of a strong North wind. The amado were secured, plunging the room in an early darkness. A futon was set up in the waiting room for Kenji to sleep. Sanosuke blessed the rain; he had feared he would have to convince his companion to stay the night.
Kenji lay down and listen to the downpour. He tried to ignore Megumi and Sanosuke's whispers. They were indubitably discussing the events of the day. He didn't want to think about that.
His two children. Ai Van Der Meer. His other family. Sister.
He tried to close his mind. After a long while tossing and turning, long after the couple had gone quiet, Kenji fell asleep.
A storm raged in the dark of a late September night. The heavy sideway rain and the violent wind competed to see which one of them would rattle the amado the most. In the pitch black six mat room, the little boy trembled, terrified. He'd taken refuge under his duvet, but found the armor lacking. Thunder rolled and a flash of lightning seeped through the cracks of the weather door illuminating the room just long enough create menacing shadows. He couldn't help but peak from his hiding place. Curiosity killed the cat and all that.
Okan had offered to sleep with him. He had refused. A boy of his age didn't sleep with his parents. He had just started sleeping on his own a few days ago and wasn't about to prove his mother right. He was not too young to be by himself at night. In this moment, however, he regretted his pride. He would have given anything to cuddle next to his mother. Despite his best efforts not to, he started crying. The wind howled. The sky snarled. The rain hissed.
Another flash of light made him realise that one of the amado had been displaced. For a moment, he saw a shadow against the shoji. He screamed and burrowed deeper under the blankets. His sobs intensified as terror gripped him. The amefurikozo had found him. A hand touched him through the fabric. He didn't want to go play in the rain. "Kenji." He covered his ears and prayed that the demon would go away.
"Ken-chan?"
The boy felt the warmth of the hand through the duvet. It stroked him, gently. Patiently. This wasn't his mother. Courageously, he lifted a corner of his armour. Despite the darkness, he saw a leg folded in a seiza. The toes were firmly planted on the tatami, ready for action. Kenji cranked his neck and looked up. A man with long loose hair observed him with a half-smile. Relief washed over the child.
"Oton!"
Kenji lunged from under the covers onto his father's lap. Kenshin embraced his son, pressing his warm body against his chest. The boy started crying anew. The man rocked back and forth, humming a lullaby.
Kenji woke up with a start. He sat up, his chest heaving. Where was he? He looked around, trying to find a familiar shape in the darkness. Megumi's clinic. He lay back down, resting his forearm on his forehead. That dream… No. It had been more than a dream. A memory. A vivid one, at that. How old had he been… No more than six? His father had come to him, knowing how he feared storms. He remembered how the man had then sat up against the wall, allowing him to fall asleep sheltered and safe. Sword sleeping. That had been his name for Kenshin's uncommon sleeping habits.
He tried to fall back asleep. With nothing else but the rain to distract him, his mind focused on the events of the day. He got up and and walked to the small kitchen to get water. He then sat on the kitchen steps. He felt like his brain would explode under the pressure of his thoughts. He needed to process all this, but didn't know where to start.
"Kenji?"
The boy looked up. A taper in hand, Megumi was quietly making her way down the stairs. Crossing the kitchen in two small steps, she sat down next to him, making him scoot in the narrow space. She blew out the candle and set it on the stone floor.
"Sanosuke told you." More a statement than a question.
He felt her nod against his shoulder.
"How do you feel?" she asked.
He shrugged.
"I don't know."
He paused. She waited.
"I guess having a sister is a good thing. It means I'm not all alone. Plus it answers a lot of questions about the pictures and letters I found."
He gave Megumi a small summary of his search and finds, lingering on the pictures.
"But?" she asked.
Resting his elbows on his knees, he cradled his forehead in his open hands.
"But I'm angry. There were enough secrets, I didn't need more. Plus how could he do this to my mother? How could he keep a separate family like that! And behind her back! Sending them money, writing to them… Did he not know how depressed he made my mother? While she pined for him all alone with a child, who's to say he wasn't abroad with his other family like that horrible lawyer called them."
Megumi sighed.
"I don't know why Kenshin kept that from you or your mother, but I can assure you that he wasn't in the Netherlands. Such a voyage would have been too long for him to come back home as frequently as he did. I can also tell you, as his doctor, that the wounds I patched did not occur that far overseas. He would have died long before I could have done anything. You said that Ai's picture is dated Meiji 18, that she mentions meeting Kenshin for the first time?"
He nodded reluctantly.
"Then according to your description, that woman, your sister – if that is really what she is – was at least 18 years old when that picture was taken. She would be close to 30 now. If Kenshin truly had another family, it was before he even met your mother."
Kenji looked up and took a deep breath. Megumi was right, of course.
"That's not what's bothering you, is it?"
"What do you mean?" He clenched his fists. She turned to him. He faced her. She was mere inches from him. Even in the darkness, he could see her concerned expression. She extended her hand and tucked one of his locks behind his ear. He felt the warm tip of her delicate fingers.
"Your mother is dead, Kenji."
He flinched.
"You need to let her rest. You need to stop this crusade in her defense. Kaoru knew what she was getting into when she married Kenshin. Let her go. Let her go and face your father with your own feelings. Not hers."
He stared at her for a moment. His eyes prickled. He looked away and grimaced for a split second. He took a deep breath, trying to regain control. Gently, she cupped his cheek and turned his head so he would face her again. She took his right hand in hers.
"What do you feel, Kenji?"
"I…" his voice caught in his throat. He looked down "I'm angry. I hate him for leaving us…" he swallowed hard. "For leaving me." His face crumpled but he recovered. He looked ahead. "It was hard enough not having him around. But now… Now, knowing this…" His face puckered with pain, he looked away. Megumi waited. When he turned to her anew she saw tears roll down his face. She squeezed his hand.
"He wrote to her. He sent her presents. He kept her picture. He cared about her. Why didn't he…" His voice strangled. He wiped his cheeks. Fresh tears spilt.
"Why didn't he care about me?"
He covered his eyes with his free hand and wailed. Megumi's heart ached. They had all wanted him to be happier than any of them had ever been, yet he carried so much pain.
"What did I do wrong?" he sobbed loudly, unable to control himself. "What was I supposed to do?" His voice was laced with an urgency bordering on panic. Megumi let go of his hand and embraced him, pulling him to her chest. He grabbed on to her with the desperation of a drowning man. She rested her cheek atop his head and rubbed his back.
"Wasn't I enough?" he asked, his voice muffled. Kenji's body trembled as he wept. Megumi held back her own tears, unwilling to give in her own grief.
Outside, the rain kept on falling loudly. On the second floor, seated on the very last step, Sanosuke, a hand covering his eyes, cried silently.