A/N: So, I generally try to avoid episodic rewrites but here, I didn't think it was avoidable because while this is AU, Eric's earlier reappearance wouldn't impact externalities that he had nothing to do with. Sam's marriage is one of those things, there's no reason Eric would change that at all. So, I felt it had to be dealt with.
The gang had gathered in Eric's basement. In a lot of ways, it was their first attempt to sort of overcome the awkwardness. Eric was perched up on the deep freeze, Hyde was in front of him in his usual chair, Fez was across the room in his usual chair and Jackie was seated on the couch with Donna. Still, Eric and Donna hadn't really spoke. A nod here, a polite wave or a smirk to then follow.
"Can Turkeys fly?" Fez asked, staring at the television.
"Nope." Hyde's arms were crossed in front of his chest.
"So, Mr. Carlson is going to end up…" Fez let his voice trail off.
"Yup." Hyde nodded.
"Ai, no." Fez's look of concern was almost priceless. Thanksgiving was only days away. And though he'd never tell anyone else in the gang this, Hyde was actually looking forward to it. Mrs. Forman was a hell of a cook and she always pulled out all the stops for the big dinners, particularly when she knew that she'd have a full house.
A knock came at the door to the basement and Fez turned around to open the door. "Hello." Fez eyed the middle aged gentleman suspiciously. The guy stepped through the open door and into the basement. Hyde got to his feet.
"Is Samantha here?" The guy put his hands on his hips and looked around
"Who the hell are you?" Hyde felt something start to twist in his gut. Sure, he and Sam fought. All married couples did. Mr. and Mrs. Forman fought, although Red usually got out of the house as quickly as possible.
"I'm her husband." The old guy said as Sam came walking out of Hyde's room under the stairs. "Sam!"
"Larry?!" Sam wailed as her eyes almost shot out of her head.
"Hey, this guy just said he was your husband which is a little off-putting, because I'm your husband." Hyde pointed across the room.
"I can explain this." Sam took a breath and looked down at the floor for a second. "You're both my husband."
"This might be better than All My Children." Jackie whispered to Donna on the couch.
"So, when you and I got married, you were already married to another guy?" Hyde was pissed and he couldn't even try to hide it.
"Sort of." Sam gnawed on her lower lip and fidgeted with her fingers.
"Sort of?" Eric couldn't help himself. "Is that like being sort of dead?"
"Forman…" There was a warning in Hyde's voice.
"Sorry." Eric focused on the conversation that was happening. As much as it felt a little slimy and voyeuristic to watch this happen, he couldn't tear himself away.
"When you say 'I do', you mean I do want to marry you." Hyde's voice got louder. "Not I do already have another husband."
Sam was obviously hurt. Her eyes started to water. "Look, Hyde." She put her hands on his chest. "Larry was a regular at the club and one day he asked me to marry him. He said he'd rent me an apartment and buy me a Camaro. What was I supposed to say?"
"How about 'No, you creepy eighty year-old loser!'?" Hyde was shouting now.
"Hey, nobody talks to Larry Lennan like that." The older man tried to put on some bravado but Sam shut him down.
"Shut up, Larry!" She peered over her shoulder. Turning back to Hyde, her lower lip trembled slightly. "Then I met you and fell in love. I figured if we just left town, I'd never see him again."
"Luckily for me, you kept using my credit card." Larry interjected. "Which expires in a month. Got you a new one!"
"Shut up, Larry." Hyde and Eric shouted at the same time.
"So, if she was married to him, before she was married to you…" Donna stepped in. "Then you guys aren't even legally married."
BAD-TIME-TO-BE-IN-LOVE-THAT-70s-SHOW
Eric and Jackie had to go into the store for the last time before they'd take their jobs on Friday in Santa's workshop. The store was really going to put a lot of effort into dominating the Christmas shopping scene in Point Place this year. After seeing Jackie show up and ask if she could be an elf, Shelly Wessler hired her almost on the spot. They were going to use everyone who would be staffing the workshop once it was ready to set it up.
Santa's chair was a reupholstered wingback that was a couple seasons old and had lingered on ever since in the store's stock room. The fake snow at the workshop would be an unbelievable amount of cotton balls scattered around the base of the wooden façade of a fake rustic log cabin workshop with candy cane eaves-troughs.
Eric and Jackie were busy laying the red carpets from the photo line up to Santa's chair and then the carpet would run down to the Elf station where the child would get a candy cane. "Can you believe Sam was married before Steven?" Jackie didn't even look up at Eric as she asked the question.
"Well, she was a stripper." Eric paused for a second. "Not just that, a Vegas stripper."
"What was he thinking?" Jackie shook her head. "And yet, I still feel bad for him, you know?
"Yeah, I know." Eric turned back over and sort of lazily sat on one hip on the floor. "As weird as it was, he actually seemed kind of happy. I gotta say, I don't think my mom will be sad if this is the end of Sam."
"What's with all these relationships falling apart lately?" Jackie sounded exhausted. "I mean Steven and I were first, then you and Donna. Now, Donna and Randy and Steven and Sam all in like one week. I mean, I'm glad that I'm still young and pretty, still a chance at happily ever after, ya know?"
"After Kelso and Hyde, I would have thought that you'd given up by now." Eric laughed as he went back to work. "I mean, there are only so many frogs that you can kiss in Point Place."
"Maybe I've got to stop kissing frogs." Jackie laughed a little at the description. "I want men to be things that they aren't. I wanted Michael to be a nice guy who would provide for me, work hard and wouldn't cheat on me."
"Kelso is a nice guy." Eric offered. "In the same way a stray dog is though, I guess."
"And Steven." Jackie sighed. "I just wanted a commitment from him. I kept hoping that he was the kind of guy who was ready to grow up. And he kept telling me that he wasn't. It turns out he was, just not with me."
"Well, I don't know if that's true." Eric finished laying the carpet and walked over to the wooden façade of the workshop.
"Eric, Steven runs his own business." Jackie came over and stood next to him. "He got married to Sam in Vegas and didn't immediately get divorced. But it's more than that. It's like every time we had a fight, he couldn't wait to move on from me."
"Yeah, but I was also there when he begged you not to break up with him." Eric had a somewhat poignant look in his eye that startled her. It was a way for her to tell that at the bottom of it all, he was a real romantic. He believed he'd seen something real between her and Steven and he was willing to defend it. "It's not easy to get there with somebody."
"Do you think you'll ever forgive Donna?" She stared up at him.
"I already forgive her." Eric tapped on the wood with his finger. "The question I'm trying to answer is whether I'm finally over her."
"She was your first love." Jackie sounded wistful. "She was your only love. I don't think I've ever even seen you look at another woman for anything more than a second." She stopped and thought for a second. "You're actually a lot like Mr. Forman that way."
"And that…" Eric raised a finger and faced Jackie. "Is the first time anyone has ever said that." At that moment, Shelly came by to take a look at how the work was progressing.
"Looks good you two." She beamed a smile at Eric. "You look deep in thought there, Santa."
"I was just thinking." Eric turned back toward the workshop. "What if we cut a window out of the front of the workshop and positioned one of the reindeer behind it so their head was sticking out of it?"
Shelly thought for a second before looking very impressed. "Can you do that? I don't want to have to call the carpenter again. I'm already over budget on the set."
"Yeah, if we've got the right saw, a pencil and a square, I can probably do it." Eric nodded.
"I'm going to run over to the maintenance department and see if we have those things." Shelly applauded happily, gave Eric a hug and ran off.
"Since when can you use a saw?" Jackie looked skeptical.
"The village I was living in, in Africa," Eric gave out a groan as he snuck behind the workshop. "When someone was fixing a house, the whole village was fixing a house. Trust me, I made straight cuts with things that were a lot less safe than a saw."
She was impressed. There were things about Eric that were different than they were before he left. There were things that were more, well, Red-like. "What do you think you're looking for in a girl?"
"Honestly?" Eric shouted over the workshop so that Jackie could hear him. "Somebody who wants the things that I want in life. Every time Donna and I would talk about the future, it was like we wanted different things and one of us was always going to have to give in and be miserable."
That was a pretty good answer, she had to admit.
"And what do you want?" Eric peaked over the top of the workshop. "By the way, I figured out where the window should go."
"What do I want?" Jackie took a seat in Santa's chair. She thought first about Michael, then about her father, then about Steven and what they all had in common. "I think the first thing I want is a guy that I can trust. A real gentleman. Someone who's a little old school now and then. But he has to be funny."
"Sounds like a good start." Eric walked over and stood behind the chair. "Anything else?"
"I like your answer." She smiled to herself. "Somebody who wants the things that I want in life."
"Have you decided what that is yet?" Eric hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder. He could tell the whole conversation was making her a little melancholy. "I'm just saying, I've known you to want to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, and I've known you to want to be rich and live here for the rest of your life."
Jackie gave a rueful chuckle. "I think I just want to be happy."
The radio in the store was tuned to WFPP. It wasn't quite time for Donna's show yet but it would be soon. Just as the silence got a little stiff a song broke through the silence.
I need a lover that won't drive me crazy
Some girl to thrill me and then go away
I need a lover that won't drive me crazy
Some girl that knows the meaning of a
Hey hit the highway
BAD-TIME-TO-BE-IN-LOVE-THAT-70s-SHOW
At the end of the day at Grooves, Hyde walked over to Red's muffler shop. The elder Forman was his Dad. W.B. was his father. Yes, there was a difference. When he needed a kick in the ass or his head screwed on straight, he went to Red. He didn't trust W.B. to do that. He pushed open the door to the shop to see Red behind the counter in his chair counting the money in the till.
"How'd you do today, Red?" Steven came over and leaned on the other side of the counter.
"Better." Red answered with a little satisfaction. "Just a little better every day." Eric came out of the back to join the two of them up front. He was keeping his promise to Red. After helping set up Santa's workshop at the store, he came over and unloaded a truck for his dad. "Anyway, what happened, between you and Sam?" Red looked up from the till.
"Oh well we finally got some time alone, we talked, I told her it would be a mistake if we stayed together." Hyde nodded slowly. "She agreed and we hugged. Then she jumped back up on the main stage to finish her act."
"Hyde, I'm so sorry, man." Eric walked over and put a hand on his best friend's shoulder.
"Well, you two kids lasted longer than I thought you'd last." Red let out a laugh. "I thought she was going to knock you out and steal your wallet on the first night."
Amidst the laughter, the chimes over the door to the shop rang. Everyone looked up and saw Sam standing in the doorway. "Hey."
"Hey." Hyde moved away from the sales counter. "I thought you'd be halfway to Vegas right now."
"Hyde, I'm really sorry things didn't work out." Sam seemed genuine and sad in a way that was moving her in a serious way.
"Yeah, me too." Hyde bowed his head as if to gather himself. "But I'd like to think that if our paths ever cross again, I'll be able to give you 20 dollars and you'll be able to dance for me, that wouldn't be awkward."
Sam laughed and let out a small sniffle. "I'd like that. Bye."
"See ya." Hyde stepped up and held the door open for her. Once she disappeared from view, he let it close again.
"You alright, man?" Eric was the first to speak.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Hyde leaned back on the counter.
"Let me tell you something, son." Red reached under the counter and pulled out three beers. "I dodged a lot of bullets in Korea. But not one as crazy and blonde as the one you just side-stepped."
Eric and Hyde both let out a laugh at that one. "It's funny, man. I never imagined myself divorced from a Vegas stripper at this age."
"I never imagined myself praying every day that I'd finally be able to hang on to my own store after all these years." Red popped the tops on all three beers.
"Yeah, I never thought I'd still be waiting to go to college after a summer in Africa." Eric added. "Or that I'd actually be envisioning a future without Donna in it."
That final admission took both Red and Hyde by surprise. Red was the first to regroup. "But all I know is, when life finally gives you a break from the crap storm, the best thing you can do is crack open a beer with your boys." Red sucked back a gulp of beer and stared down at the beer can. "You boys looking forward to Thanksgiving this year?"
"Yeah." Eric and Hyde both answered simultaneously. "I heard Mrs. Forman's already started cooking."
"Yeah, Kitty loves a full house." Red nodded. "Which of the dumb ass gang is she going to have to feed tomorrow?"
"W.B. and Angie plan to drop by for dinner." Hyde chimed in first.
"Yeah… and, uh Fez and Jackie will be there." Eric cleared his throat. "I think Jackie's even helping mom bake tomorrow morning."
"We should pick Mrs. Forman up some extra pans on the way home." Hyde joked. "Jackie tends to scorch one or two every time she walks into a kitchen." Red and Hyde started laughing boisterously. Eric joined in with a little more apprehension. Owing to the fact that they were going to be working together for the next little while, he'd been spending more and more time with Jackie lately.
What he found was someone who felt almost as lost as he did. She had more reason to.
"What about the Pinciottis?" Red took another swig of beer. "Bob usually comes over and annoys me over dessert. Are you still fighting with Donna?"
"We're not fighting." Eric protested. "We're not really speaking at all."
"Yeah, well, if I were you. I'd make up with her quickly." Red pointed the half-empty can at his son. "If Bob and Donna aren't over at our house for dessert tomorrow, your mother is going to be very upset. And with her menopause, she's a live hand grenade when she doesn't have a reason to be upset. If you give her one…"
"You'll have a reason to put your foot in my ass?" Eric chanced.
"Good to know you're listening, son." Red smirked and took another drink.