So It Goes

by ZombieJazz

Voight and his family try to cope with their struggles at home and work — and the dynamics those conflicting circumstances create for their blended family which is transitioning through a period of grief. The series focuses on what's left of Voight's family and their strained relationships. This is part of the AU started in Interesting Dynamics and is a continuation of Aftermath.

13. Always

Title: So It Goes

Author: ZombieJazz

Fandom: Chicago PD

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Chicago PD and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Ethan has been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.

Summary: Hank Voight and his family try to cope with their struggles at home and work — and the dynamics those conflicting circumstances creat for their blended family in a time of transition. The series focuses on Voight, his sick and disabled son — and what's left of his family and their strained relationships, particularly that with Erin Lindsay and Jay Halstead as they work at establishing their own lives as a young couple.

This is a collection of one-shots/scenes using the characters as represented in the AU established in Interesting Dynamics. The chapters currently represent scenes happening in approximately S04 of the series or early 2017.

As I continue to update, they'll just provide one-shot snap shots into the characters' lives and likely some recasts of scenes from the show.

This is not a linear narrative with a beginning-middle-end. It's just scenes. It is generally set so it begins around the mid-point of Season 4 (or about January/February 2017) and may occasionally draw reference to (and have SPOILERS) from the series.

A notification is provided at the beginning of each chapter about where it happens in relation to the other chapters, if they are out of sequence. Chapters will be re-ordered semi-regularly (i.e. if you're reading this weeks or months after the chapter was originally posted, it's likely now in the right place, so just ignore the notification).

SPOILER ALERT: There are MAJOR spoilers in this collection from Interesting Dynamics, So This is Christmas, Scenes and Aftermath. This series also contains SPOILERS related to the finale of Season 3 of Chicago PD and will have occasionally spoilers from Season 4 of the show.

Erin cast Jay a look, rolling her eyes a little as they listened to Ethan motor-mouthing at his dad on FaceTime in the bedroom – his bedroom, his Jurassic Park bedroom. But Jay barely contained his amusement at her feigned annoyance – that was only so feigned. He cocked his eyebrow at her and just shrugged – like she should've expected that. Like she should've been ready for that and a whole lot more. Because he was right. She should. And she was. But getting the first tastes of it was somewhat amusing.

Though, she likely would be tolerating it a whole lot better – and finding it slightly more amusing – if they hadn't been on a flight at 6:30 in the morning. Which necessitated them being at the airport a 4:30. Which meant they were actually at the airport closer to 4 FUCKING a.m. Because Hank was nervous about them get checked-in and on an out-of-state flight when Ethan wasn't their kid and had a different last name than her (making it one of the few times since him and Camille had gone through all the guardianship paperwork with her that included name change paperwork and the dropping of Fletcher in an effort to distance her from her past and escape from Bunny's grip. Or possibly just to make it harder for Bunny to track her down. Which didn't really work since Bunny knew where the Voights lived too. But that morning – the first since that night at the Silos – she actually vaguely wished that maybe she'd just gone with Voight rather than tacking her middle name on as her surname back when she was sixteen. A weighty decision for a kid. But she'd made weightier ones in her life and probably much more significant but it definitely was one that she'd revisited regularly and both celebrated and regretted the choice she had made back then.) despite them having a notarized letter giving them permission to travel with him and identifying her as his sister (not that anyone had asked to see it). And because Hank seemed to have some sort of illusion that it was going to be an extreme pain in the ass for them to get through security with Eth's injection kit and medications and his crutches (which it wasn't). So that meant they had left their house around 3 a.m. and she'd been up since 2. So, basically, she hadn't slept.

Not that she got the impression that Ethan had slept either. Not the way he was bouncing in his seat when Hank had arrived at the townhouse – EARLY – to pick them up and drive them to O'Hare. But he was still a ball of excitement. And it just kept on building and building. Building more when they got off the plane and they got to "take a ride already" on a fucking monorail to the main terminal. Not when he saw all the overpriced gift stores in the terminal – the Space Center and Star Wars and Jurassic Park and Harry Potter – staring him in the face. Prompting her little brother – who was usually so good about saving and budgeting his spending money – to start to feel what he'd brought with him and the little bit extra for the trip that his dad had handed him in an envelope was burning a hole in his pocket. She was actually surprised they'd gotten him out of the airport without him having spent all the money he'd brought with him before they even reached the car rental desk. Not when they he started seeing all the billboards as they drove into the city – advertising all the parks and attractions. Not when he started to spot the rollercoasters towering above the hotels. Not when he spotted palm trees and ferns that "pretty much looked like Jurassic Park already … sorta." And definitely not when they arrived at the hotel and they all got their first glimpses at the over-the-top themeing that apparently made up the Orlando theme-park vacation experience. Not as they walked through the hotel lobby and could gaze through the windows into the courtyard and see the expansive pool, the water slide and the lazy river winding around the resort. And definitely not when they got up to their suite and he got the surprise that the kids' room was done up as dinosaur paradise. Not just any paradise – Jurassic Park. Which, technically, should likely be a sort of terrifying proposition for a sleeping arrangement for most children. But clearly not for a dinosaur nut like her baby brother. She knew even if they had him there at four – instead of thirteen – it still would've loved that room and she wouldn't have to worry about nightmares at all even then.

Him discovering that room – and vocally claiming it, like they were going to put up any kind of fight with him about who got the fucking dinosaur room with twin beds in it! – they'd gotten their first reprieve of the day. Sort of. He had immediately thrown his backpack down and dug out the iPad to call his dad – who was likely only so impressed to have to endure Eth's motor-mouth on city hours. Though, Hank had been insistent about them letting him know they got through security OK, that they landed OK, and they checked in OK. He should've expected that some of that – was at some point – going to entail more than her shooting a text message his way.

So for the moment Ethan was out of their hair – filling Hank in on all the thrilling details of their trip thus far, which pretty much just involved checking into the hotel. They'd retreated to the farthest possible space in the suite from him – the small sitting area and kitchenette. But even being in the opposite space to the bedrooms wasn't saving them from having to hear Ethan's excited monologue.

"So that lists all the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park," Ethan said, and Erin could tell he was again standing staring at the door to the room, which was done up to look like some sort of park signpost. "I sort of hope all of them are in the actual park."

"Know they aren't real…," Hank rasped over the iPad, which Eth had the volume levels cranked. Not that Hank was saying much. He didn't do a lot of talking even on his good days. But at work, he was he'd definitely be keeping his commentary to a minimum, even if he was in his office with the door closed.

"I'm not four," Ethan said with some distaste. Erin suspected that Hank was probably having just as hard of time remembering that the family's baby was on his graduation trip before high school – a teenager – too. Especially if Ethan was turning the iPad to actually look – or rather glow – at his dad and not just giving Hank a shaky grand tour of the suite. Though, so far the only area he seemed to be getting to see was the bedroom.

There was more movement and Erin was pretty sure he'd stepped back into the bedroom. "They'll still have dinosaurs in the park. Just animatronic ones. I don't know about raptors, though. And I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be the raptors' paddock. See … I think those are their claw marks. From when they escaped."

"Long as they aren't hiding under the bed," Hank provided flatly.

"Dad …," Ethan groaned. "I get my own TV," Eth added after a moment. There was a clear grunt from Hank about that. He likely wasn't impressed with that feature. "And a desk. For some reason."

"To do your homework," Hank rasped firmly.

There was another sigh out of Ethan. "Dad …," that time was whined.

"Non-negotiable, Magoo," Hank provided from 1,200 miles away. "You didn't want this trip to conflict with ball or camp—"

"It's cooler now," Ethan argued. "I don't like hot. And I wanted to be home for …" he trailed off. And Erin was glad he had. Because she didn't want them to think about that more than they had to or get into it on this trip. This was supposed to be a vacation – from all of it. An escape from their reality. From Ethan's reality. A distraction. And even though she knew there wasn't a way to turn off thinking about his brother – they didn't need to speak his name more than they needed to. And when they did – she wanted it to be out of happy memories even if they were spurred by something they were seeing that maybe they were a little sad J was missing or even sadder it wasn't something he'd get to see or do and experience with them – or even more sadly – with Henry. But that's where she wanted to hold those thoughts. Full stop.

He didn't need to say it. There'd been tears when he'd expressed to his dad that he didn't want to go on the trip in August. That he wanted to be home and with his dad and to see Henry and to get to go to the gravesite of his mom and brother. And Ethan had been so upset in pleading his case, it'd become abundantly clear that even if Hank had been pressing the proposed dates for the vacation because he wanted – or needed – some space in that time period. Even if Erin had wanted to runaway from Chicago and all the pain and memories and regrets associated with that time period that she didn't think were ever going to dim with time and space in the way she wanted. That what Ethan needed was for all of them to be together. That he needed to feel safe and supported. He needed his routines and his traditions he wanted – or needed – to establish for that time of year. He needed help in his grieving – and the progress he'd made – and he needed to be allowed to do that at home.

They'd try to explore other dates in August. But they weren't sure how Eth would be doing mentally and emotionally to manage later in the month. And the later in the month they got, the more conflicts there were with baseball and their season-end tournaments that the Cubs historically made. There was the conflict of the Field summer camp that he insisted he wanted to do. And then there was just Hank not wanting them to schedule it too close to the start of school because he wanted to be sure Ethan was rested and ready to make his debut as a freshman.

They'd gone back to trying get June to work – but it hadn't. With when school let out for the year and when summer school started and Ethan's insistence that he wanted to celebrate Independence Day at home "like always!", it just wasn't going to work. Not unless they wanted to make about a literal five-day trip, which for what this thing was costing, they really wanted to milk more out of it then that. Besides, Jay's goggling had yielded that that time of year was hotter than they anticipated and that crowd calendars put the parks near 10 – meaning they'd likely be just trying to walk through a wall of people. That hadn't sounded that appealing.

So Ethan had gotten his wish. An Easter Break trip with caveats. One of them about his need to still finish reading the Harry Potter series and the other being about homework. On vacation. Which was pretty standard for Iggy's. It was only going to get worse in high school. But the fucking teachers loved giving out holiday packs of homework they expected to be completed over any holiday. For most students, it likely wouldn't have been a big deal. A mild annoyance but something they could likely pound out in maybe two or three hours over the course of the week.

With Eth, it was a slightly different story. They'd looked over the homework packs that had been sent home with him – and committed to working through them with him. But Erin didn't really know when or how yet. They hadn't attempted to get him to look at them on the plane. She had no planes of hosting that battle with him that night and as soon as they started getting into holiday mode – hitting the parks and the beach and the pool and exploring – she didn't know when they were going to sit down and do it with him. But they'd just figure it out. Jay had suggested bringing one of the worksheets with them each day to get Eth to work on in the lines or to putter at while they waited for food in restaurants. It sounded like a bit of a buzz kill to her. But … they'd deal with it. Just like a whole lot of this "vacation" was going to be dealing with Ethan – and all things associated with Ethan.

Ethan knew too that homework – and his reluctance to participate in it on holiday – was a battle to fight with his dad. Hank would bring down the hammer even from half-way across the country. He'd save his whining for them. And Erin imagined her and Jay would likely be in his bad books at some point over the holiday when they had to lay down the law and force him to work on it. And it'd likely mean them cancelling a park day or not letting him go to the park until he'd completed a sheet. But she was also used to spending time in her baby brother's bad books. He seemed to get over it relatively quickly. He wasn't great at giving the cold shoulder. He really hadn't perfected that – or any of the tough guy attitude and demeanor.

And, even though he was slow with homework – he was smart enough to know it was best to get off that topic quick with his dad and Erin heard him wander into the master bedroom – that for some reason all the other rooms in the fucking suite opened onto. Didn't exactly do much for privacy. They going to have to make sure Eth had really passed out after a day at the parks – or sedate him – if they wanted to get laid that week. And she had definitely intended to have sex on her vacation. She actually might need sex on her vacation if she was going to make it through without wanting strangle her little brother.

Thankfully he had his own TV and a separate entrance to the bathroom. So hopefully they avoided any mishaps. She suspected anyway that after the initial euphoria and adrenaline wore off, that Eth would be sleeping like a baby most nights – and probably afternoons too.

"And this is Erin and Jay's room," Ethan provided. "Basically boring. It's supposed to be tropical or something. Their stool thing looks like a treasure chest … I guess. And—"

"Ethan," Hank rasped again. "Shouldn't be in there. Boundaries. Need to give your sister and Jay some privacy and space. Stay out of their room."

Ethan made a little noise. "Well, I've gotta to walk through it to get to the other room," he muttered and then appeared in front of them. "See …" he held the iPad in front of him – directed at her and Jay.

She shifted a little now that they were on camera. She had been leaning against Jay on the little pull-out couch in that space living space. She'd been paging through the resort binder, looking at the list of amenities and on-site restaurant menus. Jay was completely engrossed in examining the hard-copy maps of the parks and the shopping and dining area of the Universal complex. She didn't really know what he was looking at – or what he was seeing that was new. He'd spent way more time than her trying to plot out which parks – and attractions – to hit on which days based on the projected crowds and weather for the day. He knew where each ride was and when the rides were busiest. He knew the different show times. He likely had catalogued away where every fucking bathroom and first aid station was in each park. He'd basically applied all his skills and assets that had made him a good Ranger and a great Intelligence detective into conquering fucking Universal Studios.

But he also had a thing about maps, which she could appreciate, she did too. Though, their love of them came from slightly different places. Hers was the dreamer and the hopeful escape artist – who never went much of anywhere. Jay just spouted at her about how maps didn't need battery power or GPS or wifi. He'd made pretty clear before they even got there that one of his first priorities was going to be to get them a map. And now that he had his copies – she didn't think she'd be able to pull him away from them anytime soon.

Though, she supposed it was endearing in a way. That he was interested. And trying. And contributing. And even though this so wasn't his thing – there were aspects of it all that kind of were. The little boy and the loner and the geek. And it'd be interesting to see how that played out over the course of the week.

"So we've got a couch and a couple chairs and another TV," Ethan said and spun around to show of the sad little flatscreen that was in there. "And a kitchen. Kinda. It's small," he added and shuffled to the side a bit to display the kitchenette.

Then he moved over to stand directly in front of them. "There's Erin and Jay," he provided. "They want to take a rest."

"We're all going to take a rest," Erin pressed at him firmly. And by rest, she meant that she wanted Ethan to lay down and take a fucking nap so he'd be functional the next day. But she didn't get the sense that happened. And the reality was that if it didn't happen, that likely none of them were going to be that functional the next day. Or at least they definitely wouldn't be very pleasant to be around.

"We're going to go to the pool," Ethan said instead and place his knee on the couch, wedging himself between her and Jay and leaning over the back to point the iPad camera out the window. "So. It's huge. And it has TWO water slides AND a lazy river. And it's supposed to have other stuff around it. Like ping pong and volley ball and stuff. AND! They do a Dive-In movie every night. Kinda like at Lake Geneva. Only outside. Tonight they're showing E.T. so we'll likely watch that."

"Ethan," Erin provided firmly again, "you're going to bed early tonight. So you're functional tomorrow."

He ignored her. He just leaned over the couch farther and angled the iPad more. "You can sorta see the theme park," he provided to his dad. "See. That's one of the rollercoasters—"

"You aren't supposed to be going on the rollercoasters," Hank graveled, as Ethan pointed out the window.

And he got ignored too. Which was likely fine – because it was on the list of things they hadn't entirely decided how they were going to play yet. Erin thought it would be more about how Ethan was doing on a particular day and the trip as a whole. Where he was at with his flares and headaches and pain. And if he even wanted to go on any of the rolleroasters and there really only had been a couple that were specifically classified as rollercoasters that he'd earmarked as something he MIGHT want to do. But with all his dad's brow-beating of him on the topic, he seemed a little hesitant. Though, it was intermingled with him spitting out abut how RIC took trips to the Great American and how Eva and Evan said going on rollercoasters for RIC kids is totally fine. But the health and disability issues that Eva and Evan were dealing with weren't M.S. or traumatic brain injury – and all the associated disabilities and limitations that came with that – so their opinions on the matter only counted for so much.

"And see there," Ethan addressed instead, though. "That's Hogwarts. So that's likely the Wizarding World."

Hank allowed a grunt of acknowledgement at that. And Ethan took it, twisting around and really wedging his ass between her and Jay. They both shifted their position again on the cramped couch to make space for him. He tapped the button to get the camera to flip around and display them to Hank – and her and Jay again shifted trying to get a bit more out of view.

"We got to do the Sorting Hat when we checked-in. I'm Gryffindor," Ethan said proudly and held up his lanyard containing his room key, express line pass and park tickets – but most importantly striped in the house colors of red and gold. "That's the same house as Harry Potter," he clarified for his dad. "It pretty much means I'm daring and brave and chivalrous."

Hank grunted at that assessment. Erin actually thought it was decent assessment of her baby brother. That the little interactive quiz they'd done had sorted him to the house he should be in.

"Jay's Gryffindor too," Ethan said and cast her a look and turned the iPad to again get her in the frame. "Erin's Ravenclaw. Which seems sort of weird. But the Sorting Hat doesn't make mistakes."

"I'm pretty sure it made a mistake," Erin muttered. She wasn't too thrilled with where she'd landed according to the stupid quiz. Though, Jay – stuck with reading the Harry Potter books and enduring the movies along with her and Eth – had pointed out that Ravenclaw embodied "Intelligence" with that shit-eating grin of his. When that hadn't earned him any points, he conceded it supposedly also meant that she was witty, wise, and an original individual who excelled at accepting people for who and what they were. So maybe the Sorting Hat had gotten it right after it.

But Eth shrugged and decided to agree with her that a mistake had been made. "Yea, maybe. I thought for sure you'd be Slytherin."

She gave him a little smack at that. But he just smiled at her and looked back to his dad.

"Let me talk to your sister," Hank put to him.

Ethan shrugged and handed her the iPad. Erin immediately tapped the button to switch it to just audio.

"Hey," Eth argued and leaned over to tap the cam back on again. "Dad wants to see."

She gave her eyes a little roll and gazed at Hank. He allowed a smack at the show he was getting. "Hi," she allowed flatly.

"Flight OK?" he asked.

She nodded. But she knew what he was asking. "Gave him the medication for spasticity when they started boarding. But he got some tingling and numbness in his legs on the flight."

"Use the compression socks?" Hank asked.

She shrugged. "We had to take them off. Was complaining they felt too tight with the air pressure."

Hank gave a little grunt at that.

"Other than that, his ears popped. And he said he had a headache."

"It's better now. I took an Excedrin," Ethan provided next to her. "They have caffeine in them."

"Just what you need," Erin said, arching her eyebrow at Hank's other smack.

"The plane was pretty awesome, Dad," Eth said, leaning against her – and into her space – to gaze at Hank again. "All the seats have like a touch-screen and you can watch like 50 different movies. I watched Jack Reacher and then I watched Bourne. But we landed before I could see the end of it. So hopefully they show the same movies on the way home."

Hank grunted and fixed his eyes on her, giving a smack. The question and message was clear.

"They were PG-13," Erin provided – a tad defensively. She knew the rules as well as Ethan did. And even though she thought Hank could be a little fucking strict about the whole rating thing, she also didn't entirely disagree with him. And she had enough fucking common sense to know what was and wasn't appropriate for her little brother to be watching – no matter how grown up he thought he was. Because she saw enough moments – just like right then – that she knew he was still a little boy in a lot of ways. But if he could watch 24 and Lost and Sherlock and Terra Nova and all kinds of other shit at home – she was pretty sure he could handle some shitty Tom Cruise movie or two.

"Yea," Ethan added. "We just watched what was on the plane so we could save the battery on here to call you. So we didn't have to charge it when we got here."

Hank grunted but his line of shift shifted back to try to find hers on his end. "You get through security OK?"

She shrugged. "Yea," she acknowledged. "Just told the agent we had the stuff in our bags. Took it out for them to take a look at. Not a problem."

He made a small sound of acknowledgement. "And they let you into the room OK?" he asked.

"They better have," she provided. "You paid for our early check-in."

Hank made a dismissive sound. "Wanted you to have a place to crash out after a flight at that hour."

But he'd done more than that. Whenever he'd called the hotel to get the early check-in put on their reservation, it'd been him who'd upgraded their suite so they didn't have to be sleeping in the same bedroom or having Ethan on a pull-out couch. Erin didn't want to speculate or guess how much that fee would've cost him. If they would've charged him the full rate or if they would've honored the military discount for the package Jay had been able to secure for them and just made the change within the appropriate bracket. He'd paid for Ethan's flight too and she knew Hank had sent money along with Ethan that he'd been instructed to use to help with the cost of groceries and a meal or two out over the holiday. Money that he'd known she likely wouldn't have accepted – but that maybe she'd let her little brother use, so he'd feel special and responsible and grown-up by paying a bill on his own at the grocery store or a table service restaurant that wasn't Carmine's.

And, really, she did appreciate that he was trying to help. Because the trip – especially it being slightly 'last minute' – had ended up costing more before they were even on the ground than what they'd been anticipating, even with the various discounts and promos and packages they were able to secure and various loyalty points they'd used. Having the extra bit of space and privacy was appreciated. And right now she couldn't imagine having arrived at the hotel and having had to sit around or entertain Ethan until they were allowed to check-in at 4 p.m. As it was, they'd arrived barely an hour after the hotel's check-out time and had been allowed into their room right away thanks to Hank calling and paying for the perk.

"That'd be working a lot better if someone would crash out," Erin provided and cast Ethan a stern look.

"But I want to go explore," he whined, his voice starting to flicker with some small signs of fatigue. He flaked fully out against her at that – cuddling in so he could gaze at his dad on the screen too. "They have a bowling alley, Dad. In the hotel. And you should see their arcade. It looks sooo cool. Driving games. Cars and motorcycles. And they gave use a bunch of tokens to use. But Erin wouldn't let me go in. She said we had to come up to the room first."

Hank grunted and moved his eyes back to her. "Room's OK?" he asked.

"It's great," Jay provided out of nowhere. She'd thought he'd still been lost in plotting out their routes on the maps, but apparently he'd been listening. Theme park tourist planner was just his cover. "Thank you."

Hank grunted passively again. Erin adjusted the angle of the iPad so Hank could spot Jay. But Jay hadn't looked up from the map despite his commentary. "Little extra space always good on these kinds of things," Hank allowed. "Especially if you're going to be in the room some."

"Dad," Ethan said bluntly, "there's too much to do to be in the room at all."

"You got homework and you need to take downtime," Hank nodded at him gravely. "You come back in a flare or burned out from pushing too much - I'm not going to be happy."

"Because you're Grumpy," Ethan quipped.

"Hey," Erin said as Hank gave his son an unimpressed look and a little smack. She wrapped her arm up around his head and stroked at his hair. It was such a mess. Matted, bed-head, in-flight, air pressurized, chemo head. There was no way to make it look any better – beyond putting a hat on it. But that had gotten pulled off likely when he started talking to his dad, who didn't approve of hats in the house. "Be nice," she warned.

She wasn't sure Ethan fully appreciated how much Hank had contributed financially to making this trip possible for him. And he hadn't had to do that. And it wasn't the kind of thing Hank would flaunt over Ethan either. It'd just been something he'd decided he could afford and he could justify for his boy. That Ethan deserved it. And he'd compensated accordingly.

It wasn't just that, though. Erin could see – had seen and heard in the weeks and months leading up to this – just how anxious Hank was about this trip. She'd initially taken it as a bit of an insult about her abilities to care for Ethan. But eventually she'd force herself just to accept that Hank was struggling with not having control over his son in his situation. That he wasn't going to be the first stop if Eth had any medical problems or flares or got sick. That he wouldn't be the one guiding him through the airport or his first flight or trying to manage his pain and fatigue and manage his pseudo flares and try to keep them at bay. It wasn't that he didn't know that her and Jay could handle that – that they knew how to do all that as well as him. It was that it was his child and Hank had become much more of a Popa Bear with Eth – since his M.S. diagnosis and even more so since Justin had died.

They both cling to each other. In different ways but in similar ways. It was going to be interesting to see how both of them dealt with being apart. It would likely be good for them. Needed. To let them have some space. And their own lives and experiences and time that wasn't so connected or dependant on the other. But, she didn't doubt that they were both going to miss each other in their own ways too. That this would be the first length of time Ethan had been away from Hank since coming home from boarding school, since his diagnosis, since all his medical appointments and hospital visits, since they'd lost Justin. He'd become a bit of a Daddy's Boy – even when he was having a day, week or month where he hated his dad.

Erin had seen, though, the way Hank had struggled to figure out how to be that tough guy dad as he dropped them off at the airport. She was almost surprised with how nervous he seemed – the constant reminders and instructions about check-in and security and navigating O'Hare – that he hadn't come in. That he hadn't gone through check-in with them and walked over to security with them and watched them go through in case there were any problems. But he'd just dropped them off at the Kiss 'N Ride. Off-loaded them and their luggage. Though, she sort of suspected, that he'd found a spot in one of the lots and had waited until he saw on his phone that their plane had taken off without problem until he did head into work.

Because she'd seen him trying to figure out how to say goodbye to Ethan – even if only for a week. And she'd seen the way he held him and hugged him at that curb. The tough love. It hadn't worked with Justin and as tough as Hank could be, he wasn't even trying the tough love with Ethan. He cracked down on him – and could be strict and stern and scary – in other ways. But tough? Ethan had enough tough things in his life to need to struggle to get love from his father the tough way.

She knew too that even though Hank wasn't too interested in theme parks – at all. And even though Erin was thankful to have this time and space away from him. And time with Jay – outside of work and trying to figure out how to have a home life. And time with Ethan that wasn't going to revolve around homework and medical appointments and playing taxi service. She knew in some ways Hank would've liked to have come. Or at least to have been there to see Eth have some of these experiences. To see him happy and relaxed and excited. And it made her feel a little bad she was taking that away from Hank. But she'd reminded herself too, that he'd had thirteen years of opportunities to take him here – and he hadn't. That he shared other trips and moments and experiences with Eth – ones that she hadn't been invited to or ones she hadn't been interested in participating in. So, she was allowed to have some special moments and memories and bonding time with her little brother too. That having that would help them grow in their relationship – as he shifted and changed – as he became a teenager and grew up and she established her own family.

But Hank's regret that he wasn't there and his worry about Ethan (and them) managing this – it'd been why he'd contributed to making it possible. His way of trying to make it easier. To try to make it an experience they all enjoyed and remembered. And even though she'd initially wanted to be angry with him for trying to invade on their plans and to try to exert control and make it work his way – she'd let herself accept the help. To be grateful for it. Because he was just trying to be a dad. Their dad. And sometimes even when she was immensely angry with him – he was hard to be entirely angry at.

"The kitchen OK?" was all Hank asked, though.

Erin shrugged. "It's small. Basically a bar fridge. Two burner stovetop, microwave, toaster, coffeemaker." Hank made a sound that didn't sound thrilled about that. But even with Ethan's whirlwind tour of the living area of the suite, he must've gotten the sense that both the seating space and the kitchen were small. "It will be OK," she assured. "This upgrade gives us access to some lounge up on the seventh floor. It's supposed to have food throughout the day. Don't know if there will be anything in there he can eat, though," she said, rocking Eth's head slightly. Now that he was sitting still, she thought they might actually have a chance at getting him to close his eyes for an hour or two.

"They do," Jay provided next to her.

She gave him a look. "Yea?" she put to him.

He nodded and tapped at the resort amenities binder that had ended up on the opposite side of Ethan's ass when he'd wedged himself onto the couch. "Fruit, veg, chips, nachos, eggs, meat."

"Mmm …," Erin acknowledged and looked back to the iPad. "There you go." She stroked at Eth's forehead more. She could see that Hank was looking more directly at him than her and she glanced down. His eyes were starting to look heavy. "After our rest, we'll check it out and then do a grocery run."

"Supermarket nearby?" Hank asked.

Erin gave a little nod. "That Whole Foods we spotted on Google Maps … it's basically just outside the gates of the resort area."

"Mmm …," Hank graveled. "Good."

"Yea …," Erin allowed.

It would likely make things easy. Not that Whole Foods was particularly cheap. But it did mean there would be packaged snacks and hot food bar that had items that they knew Eth could eat. Even though they'd brought some of his snacks with them, this would be good for restocking as he ate through it, and an easy way to get pre-cooked food or ingredients to quickly throw together something in their mini-kitchen on the nights they didn't want to eat out.

And, they hadn't come into this vacation planning on eating out every night. Beyond it being too expensive – eating at restaurants with Ethan was just a pain in the ass. Though, again, Jay's research into all of this had given them some assurances that a lot of restaurants would be educated and accommodating when it came to medically restricted dietary choices. But, it did seem like they might have better luck at that with Disney than Universal. So add it to the list of things they'd just have to see how it went. And if it went off the rails – at least they knew there was a Whole Foods a few miles away they could make a quick run to.

"So that the plans for the rest of the day?" Hank asked. "Groceries and check out the pool?"

"Disney Springs," Ethan mumbled – but there was a firmness to it. "T-Rex Café. For dinner."

"I don't think you're going to make it to dinner," Erin said, running her hand gently through what was left of his patchy hair. She knew it settled him. Just like she didn't have any doubt in her mind that he'd be headed back to Chicago with at least one new ball cap to cover up the mess on his head by the time the trip was over. The only question was going to be if it was a Jurassic Park, a Star Wars or a Harry Potter cap. Or maybe a Tampa Rays one, if they ended up over on that side of the state for him to hunt for his shark tooth fossils. Which sounded like a pretty good excuse to sit on a beach all day to her.

"Then lunch," he mumbled.

She just made a small sound of disagreement at that too. They were passed lunch at that point and what lunch was going to be was what they could scrounge out of the lounge and maybe the salad bar at Whole Foods when they were doing their groceries.

"Disney Springs is a bit of a drive," Jay provided on her behalf. "And a lot of walking when we get there. Maybe we'll hit it up tomorrow."

"But, we should go to a park tomorrow," Eth whined. A real whine that time. The fatigue was really rearing its head. If he didn't let himself sleep soon, they might be moving into teen tantrum territory. Which would again make having that kids' bedroom awesome. Somewhere to put him and close the door while he leveled himself out and got his head back on straight. Sometimes it was ridiculous how similar the methods they used when babysitting Henry were to their day-to-day of managing a thirteen-year-old.

"What we do tomorrow is going to depend a lot on how much rest you get today, Bud," Jay put to him, giving his shoulder a little shake. "Can't do a park if you're already run off your feet."

"I'm not," Ethan spat with a little glare off his shoulder.

"You'd prove that to us a whole lot better if you went and got a bit of shut eye," Jay nodded at him.

Ethan gave a huff and flopped back against her. Erin just raised her eyebrow at Jay's effort. It might be a long week. It was at least going to be a long day. Eth was going to fight them tooth and nail about slowing down. If he didn't fall asleep in the next thirty minutes, it might be better to just take him on the couple errands and then take him down to the pool area for a bit. Maybe stick him in an inner tube and let him nap as he drifted down the lazy river.

"We were going to walk over to the park entrance area," Erin told Hank. "Talk to the main nursing station about keeping out of his injections refrigerated for us and putting a set of his meds in the medical cabinet in case anything comes up." Hank grunted some approval at that plan. "The guest services building we need to go to about his disability pass is over there too."

"Attraction Assistance Pass," Ethan grumbled. "I'm not disabled."

Erin put her chin against the crown of his head and held on to his shoulder tight. "You're right," she allowed, though there were hours, days, weeks, and months where she really didn't believe that even though that was the line they preached with him. That they had to preach to him. To get him to accept and believe. To ensure he lived up to who and what and all that he was.

"And I'm not going to use it," Ethan mumbled more. "Because I'm not disabled."

Erin just let out a little sigh and met Hank's eyes on screen. Though, they didn't technically need it, they'd brought a doctor's note explaining Eth's conditions and why he might not be able to stand in the heat and the long longs. To try to ensure that they did get issued the pass without question or argument and to try to ensure that Ethan go to enjoy as much of the parks as possible – or at least the attractions he wanted to most – without him burning out and flaring up within his first hours in the parks.

"We'll see how we do," she put to both of them – though more directed at Hank. Because it'd been another discussion she'd had with him on repeat.

So he knew that the package Jay had been able to secure for them included them getting to enter the parks an hour ahead of people just showing up at the gates. So hopefully that meant they'd be able to hit some of the headliner attractions without hour's long waits. The package had also included some kind of express pass thing, which based on their understanding would mean they'd be able bypass the main line and stand in a much shorter one for just people with that ticket upgrade. That hopefully meant too that they wouldn't be stuck in a line for hours at a time. And really, though they weren't entirely clear on how the disability pass worked, their general understanding was that if the express line was thirty minutes or less they'd just get put in it anyways. Though, it sounded like if it was more they were given some sort of special ticket that would tell them a timeframe they were allowed to come back to the ride and pretty much walk right on.

Erin wasn't really entirely sure what to expect with all of that. If it'd all work exactly the way they'd read and been told. Or just how busy the parks would be that week. Or even at a particular time of the day. Their current plan was to try to get there fairly early in the morning and stay until around lunch. To then fight a battle with Eth to get him to go back to the hotel to cool down and rest and eat – and maybe have a swim and sleep – for the bulk of the afternoon, which sounded like was when the parks were busiest and hottest. And then maybe go back for a couple hours around dinner. Though, she really didn't think they could realistically be staying until park closing. Even, though, she knew Eth would be pushing for that and would undoubtedly want to see the fireworks. She was going to just hope that they'd be able to see the fireworks and hear the booms for their room and that that would appease him and please him.

It was just another thing on the wait and see how it goes list and that they'd figure out a way to manage it as the situation developed as it developed – just like everything else with Ethan.

"We can play mini-golf if we're over there," Ethan muttered more and Erin again glanced down. His eyes were fully shut. "City Walk. They have two, Dad. Monsters and Space Invaders. They have a movie theater too. With IMAX."

Hank grunted. Though, Erin saw that he was again staring at his little boy who was fighting sleep and seemingly failing badly. Thankfully.

"Not tonight, Kid," Jay said flatly and Erin felt his eyes watching Eth's loosing battle too.

"Then we should have dinner at the Sports Grill and Brew," Eth pushed out sleepily. "It has like two-hundred TVs and the Cubs are playing. Dodgers."

"Afternoon game, Kiddo," Hank provided. "Game's likely already started."

Ethan stirred a little at that and gazed at his dad with silted eyes. Erin stroked on his forehead again.

"There you go, Magoo," Erin said into his hair. "How about Jay helps you get the TV set up in your room and you can watch the game before we go do our few errands …"

Her real hope was that Eth would fall asleep near as soon as his head hit the pillow – whether the game was on or not. And hopefully that nap would span longer than the game and maybe her and Jay could take turns running out to get the two separate errands done – without Ethan underfoot or providing his input. Then she might be willing to entertain going down to the pool for a couple hours in the evening or exploring some of the other family-friendly and kid-friendly amenities at the hotel.

Ethan made a small sound of agreement and slipped out from under her arm, pressing himself back to his feet. He teetered a little without his crutches and without his brace on and Jay hopped to his feet too, gripping Eth's shoulder before he could stumble.

"C'mon, Big Guy, lets see if the TV they gave you is any better than what they stuck us with in here," he provided.

"Bye, Dad …," Ethan muttered.

"Hey …," Hank rasped and Ethan glanced back down to where Erin was still propping up the iPad. "Love you," he said simply.

"Love you too …," Eth allowed and started his unsteady gait to the next room.

Erin watched as Jay followed after him, her eyes staying there until they disappeared into the bedroom. She looked back down to Hank.

"You going to be OK with all this?" Hank put to her.

She nodded. "Sure," she allowed. Because they'd talked about it and talked about it. And she knew how to look after her little brother. She'd spent years taking care of him in varying capacities. She could survive getting him through a week in an American city at a fancy resort with theme parks, restaurants, groceries stores, first aid stations and hospitals all minutes away. It wasn't like she'd taken him into the Heart of Darkness and down the Congo River and labeled it as a holiday.

"The set-up they got there going to make it do-able? Or you want me—"

"Hank," she put to him firmly, "we've got it under control. It's going to be fine."

His tongue set into his cheek and he stared at her. His eyes with that look of his. The one where he was trying to hide the more going on under them. The real, breathing, feeling human man – the father – that existed there within him but that he often didn't want to let anyone see or know. Other than them.

"Just … take care of him," he finally said.

Erin gazed at him for a long beat and then allowed a slight nod. "Always."

Because she always had. She always would. She always will. Always.

AUTHOR NOTES: Your readership, comments, feedback and reviews are appreciated.