A/N: Hey, thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. Lots of new follows and favourites from binge readers too, which I love as it tells me you're in it for the long haul! This one is a chapter of two halves and picks up from the night in Province Town with Nicky and Alex. I'm hoping to find some time next week to write the next chapter and keep up with a weekly post. Let me know your thoughts on this one and I'll try not to keep you hanging, I promise ;-)
THURSDAY NIGHT
Alex and Nicky ordered burgers off the menu and ate in relative silence as they devoured them between moans of enjoyment. Alex had been glad that Nicky's mouth was full of something other than her own special brand of 'helpful advice' as it gave her an opportunity to switch the subject from talking about Piper finally. Licking the relish off her fingers, Alex nodded towards the empty pool table as she washed her food down with the last of her beer.
"Sure, I'll take your money Vause." She grinned as they left the booth to secure their use of the table.
"Who said anything about playing for money? You never paid me the last lot you lost to me at Poussey's on poker night. I'm not interested in playing for another 'I owe you'. I want to enjoy my winnings tonight thanks."
"I bought the take out the other night, so I did pay you back!"
"That's not paying me back, that's paying your way you tight ass! Which reminds me, I got the rooms tonight, so you can pay for dinner before you run out on the check."
"Fuck that, can't you claim it back on expenses? This is a business trip remember?" Nicky started racking the balls up as Alex found the cues.
"Tighter than a Nun's twat you are. I suppose you'll be wanting another beer adding to the tab you're not paying now do you?"
"Of course. Now I know it's on expenses." Nicky winked and chalked up the cues as Alex went to the bar.
Returning with a couple of cold beers, Alex saw the table was all set up.
"OK Vause, it's starting to fill up with chicks in here now. What are we playing for, loser has to chat up the ugly best friend of the winner's choosing?"
"Ugh, no."
"OK…..well let's buddy up and make it a foursome with those hot chicks over there then. They look like they're up for a good time!" Nicky waggled her eyebrows and Alex caught her arm on her way to make the offer.
"Not tonight Nic. I'm not in the mood."
"You sure a little fun with blondie over there wouldn't cheer you up a bit?" Nicky offered half-heartedly.
"I'm sure OK. That's pretty much the last thing I need right now actually."
"Redhead?...Kidding!" Nicky raised her hands in surrender and lifted her beer to make a toast.
"To yet another night of not getting laid in honour of being forced to be a decent human being."
Alex rolled her eyes. "That was a terrible toast, but thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Ok, how about this then….. If I win, you have to strip naked and run into the sea out the back of our hotel until only your crazy head is above water…." Nicky scowled. "I'm not finished. THEN….you have to walk back out again shouting at the top of your voice the following words – 'Alex Vause is my wet dream'. Keep repeating it until you make it back to the hotel where I'll have your clothes, a towel if you're lucky and only a tiny smug expression on my face."
"Fuck off! I'm not doing that."
"There's no point in betting if you're so sure you're going to lose every challenge I offer."
"I didn't say I thought I'd have to actually do it."
"But you're too chicken to accept it either. It's OK Nic. I know you've seen me play enough to know it's a dead cert that I'll take whatever you lay on the table. It kinda doesn't matter whether it's bottle caps or money. Your pride goes with it every time anyhow right? You want me to play left handed or something to help you out maybe?" Alex smirked and drank her beer as she pulled a coin from her pocket to toss for break.
"I'll take that fucking mermaid-shaped gauntlet – and raise you this in return….If I win, you paint my toe nails."
"Pfft. That's the best you've got?"
"In your underwear. And I get a photo to keep me warm at night."
"No fucking deal. You'd use that against me at any point in time. No way."
"You think you're going to lose?"
"No. I think I'm going to win. But I wouldn't be bothered in the least by the forfeit if it wasn't being recorded forever. Take the photo off the package and I'm in."
"I'll barter with you and agree not to Snapchat it from my phone to the highest bidder. Deal?" Nicky held her hand out, signalling the negotiation was over.
"I'm recording your mermaid proclamations of my sexual prowess then. Fair's fair."
"Fine."
"I do hope you're not about to ruin my Darryl Hannah fantasies when I pot the black. Heads or tails?" Alex flipped the coin in the air.
XXXXX
Alex won the game and Nicky insisted the night was still young and it should be best of three. They got more beers and Nicky won the next two, at which point Alex said she'd pay the tabs for the rest of the month if they went to best of five. Both women had consumed more beer than they had for quite a while when they were tied at two games each and it was taking a long time to finish the fifth game. Nicky was moving the cue ball to a better angle when Alex wasn't looking to increase her chances. She really wasn't fancying a dip in the sea in the depths of winter right now, so it was better for her health to make sure she didn't get pneumonia tonight.
XXXXX
"I'm telling you that cue ball was right against the cushion and there's no way you could have screwed that back to line the black up!"
"Whatever. What colour bra are you wearing? Is it a racy little number?" Nicky waggled her eyebrows as they half- staggered back to the hotel.
"You fucking cheated! It's a forfeit if you cheat!"
"Listen Vause, grow some fucking tits and woman the fuck up. You're whining like some wannabe prom queen who didn't get to be the princess at the party. You lost, I won. Suck it up and let me think about the strip show will ya?" Nicky punched her on the arm and cackled as she started walking backwards in front of Alex, rubbing her hands together and grinning from ear to ear.
Alex was wearing a bath robe and a steely glare when Nicky opened the door to her knocking 20 mins later.
"Well hellooooo!" Nicky blocked the door with her body while she looked Alex up and down in a distinctly over the top guffaw.
"Will you let me in please? I don't want anyone seeing me scuttling around the corridor like some damned call girl."
"Isn't that exactly what you're doing though? Calling on me to strip and fulfil my fantasy? Hmm?"
"You know what, fuck this. How much will it cost to buy myself out of this?"
"Nu-uh. No cash equivalent. I promise I won't be an ass anymore though. Come in." Nicky moved aside quickly before Alex turned to leave.
The brunette couldn't care less about strutting around in her underwear in front of Nicky, her best friend had seen her changing enough over the years to know the cat-calls from her fuzzy friend were teasing and she wouldn't have made the bet if she thought Alex would be massively uncomfortable. It was the kneeling down and painting her toes that was the humiliating bit for Alex and she didn't want it stringing out any longer than necessary. Especially since she really wanted to hit her pillow and crash right now.
"Did you bring the polish?" Nicky rolled her pants up and laid back on her bed.
"Yeah. Black's the only colour I've got."
"Shade."
"What?"
"Black isn't a colour, it's a shade, like white." Nicky shrugged at a perplexed pair of green eyes. "Nevermind. I don't want to talk rainbows right now. Lose the robe then Vause and let me savour the moment." Nicky nodded as she reached over for her phone.
"You post any of this on social media and I swear to God, I'll kick your ass so hard Nicholls." Alex warned before letting the robe drop from her shoulders and kneeling on the end of the bed to unscrew the nail polish cap. "And I'm not promising a quality job here as I've had a lot to drink, so there'll be no decals."
"No what?"
"Doesn't matter."
"Let's see that sexy smile then Vause…mmm, bend down more….yeah, now look over the top of your glasses at me….."
Alex rolled her eyes at first, but let Nicky have her fun for a bit and bantered with her before focusing on finishing the paint job as quickly as she could.
XXXXX
Alex had eaten breakfast on her own and checked out by 9am, leaving Nicky to sleep in while she sat on a bench looking out onto the beach near to where the car was parked. Flipping her phone between her hands, she looked at the last time Piper had texted her and saw it was nearly a week ago already. She had hoped that the blonde might have gotten over her tantrum by now and called and she couldn't help but feel disappointed that she hadn't. It made Alex feel bad for not just giving in and making contact already. She knew Piper had another meeting with Julie this morning and she wanted to wish her luck, but she struggled to know how to start a message when she opened the text box.
Just after 10, Nicky dropped down beside her on the cold wood, looking over at the few words on her phone screen.
"Morning. Need some help there Shakespeare?"
"What? No." Alex flipped her screen off and stuffed it into her back pocket.
"The longer you leave it, the harder that text is going to be. You know that, right?"
Alex rolled her eyes. "It's a text. How hard can it be?"
"You tell me. You've been writing it for an hour because I've seen you from my window. If we're counting your words per minute ratio, you'd suck in a typing pool."
"I haven't been writing it for an hour."
"OK. Were you just staring at the blank screen hoping that she'd send you something through the telepathic will of your broken heart?"
"I haven't got a broken heart Nic." Alex stood and straightened out her jeans before striding over to the car. Nicky stood to follow her, slinging her duffle bag over her shoulder.
"Oh yeah, I remember now. You haven't- because you're busy reinforcing the walls around it in case there's an attack of the blonde hair and blue-eyed variety. Yeah, that'll keep it safe." Nicky threw her bag in the trunk before climbing into the passenger seat and belting up.
"I prefer you when you're too hung over to speak." Alex started the car and punched in the zip code to get them on their way before switching the radio on loud enough to discourage any further conversation.
XXXXX
Piper's meeting with her Lawyer had gone well and she really liked him. He reassured her that her experience as a witness would be completely different to what she went through before she ended up in Litchfield and she really should not be worrying about this. He wasn't much older than Piper was and had short, wiry brown hair and brown eyes that seemed to twinkle when he smiled. They hit it off immediately and Piper relaxed quite quickly as she went through the main points of the case so he could get more information from the police files after she left. They talked for close to 3 hours about the case, with Piper keeping steering the conversation back to it if he veered off to make enquiries about her family or work. It wasn't as much that she was being secretive about them, more that she was conscious of how much this was costing her and she wanted to get the best value from every minute she was paying him for. He was starting to go on another of those tangents when Piper's phone buzzed with a message.
"It's such an expensive place to live when you're on your own though isn't it? Do you know what I mean?" He probed as Piper pulled her phone from her bag to see if it was Polly needing help at the store.
"Yeah…..totally…..it is….expensive in New York." Piper swiped her screen on to see a message from Nicky.
'Hey Blondie, how's it goin? I'm bringing your girl home soon and I thought maybe you might want to talk to her. You could maybe use your words, both of you – like a conversation or something? Just putting the idea out there. We'll be back in Brooklyn in maybe 3 hours if you want to think about dinner plans ;-)'
Piper rolled her eyes at the match making effort and was about to put her phone away when it buzzed again. She swiped the screen to find a Snapchat notification which had a photo of Alex in a lacy red bra and matching panties…on all fours….looking to the camera over the top of those sexy fucking secretary glasses, eyebrow raised and red lips pouting slightly.
Fuck. Piper's eyes widened as the Snapchat image counted down 3 seconds and disappeared. She blinked at the empty screen for a couple of seconds, her mind running with all kinds of questions. Where the Hell had Nicky got that photo from? How recent was it? Was Alex cheating on her with someone else? Had Alex posed for it to be sent to her to remind her what she was missing? Why the Hell hadn't she reacted sooner to save the damned thing too?!
"Everything Ok Piper?" The Lawyer asked as she frantically tapped on the screen and smoothed her hair back as she tried to regain some composure.
"Hmm? Yeah, fine." She put her phone down within reach and attempted to re-focus on their meeting.
"OK, great. So I was just saying that I'll need to get hold of those police reports before we meet again. I can get in touch with…."
Piper's phone beeped with another message and she snapped it up quickly to read it.
'If you play your cards right, you might get that sight at the bottom of your bed this weekend ;-)'
Gritting her teeth, Piper tapped out a quick reply.
'How the fuck did you get that?' She stared at the screen, waiting to see the dots to show Nicky was replying, but all she got was the confirmation the message had been sent.
XXXXX
Piper wrapped up the meeting with her new Lawyer and was at home now, cursing Nicky for not replying to her messages.
'Seriously Nicky, just tell me how old that photo is. A fucking year is all I want!'
The silence was driving her crazy and she knew she would get hot-headed if she called Alex about it right now, so she opted to run a bath and try to relax and think about other things. The legal meeting had gone fine and she felt comfortable around the man who would represent her, so she was happier that at least she had someone fighting her case in the background now. The cost she would need to worry about later, but at least she could feel more prepared as the court date approached. The meeting with Julie in the morning had been an interesting one as she hadn't expected to spend it talking about her relationship with Alex, but it had started her thinking about seeing these events from her girlfriend's perspective a little more than before. She could understand that Alex's natural instinct to take over and make decisions that she thought showed her caring for her girlfriend were just amped up all the more by events that Piper had shared. By pushing her away and giving her shit for doing that, Piper was making her feel more helpless. She rinsed her hair off one last time before climbing out of the bath to dry off and get dressed. She had made a decision and needed to act on it now. Picking up her phone, she opened a text box and sat down to type a message.
'Hey Alex. Would it be OK if I called round to see you tonight?'
Kiss, or no kiss? She's your girlfriend you dork, there has to be a kiss. Adding an x at the end of the message, she pressed send and went to dry her hair and put some light make up on. Regardless of whether Alex wanted to see her, she planned to sit outside of her apartment until she came home so she could put an end to what was becoming a painful silence for her now. Having Alex back in her life had filled a hole she had all but forgotten that she had been carrying around since they split and she was basically allowing the hole to grow back again even in the space of a week without the brunette to talk to. As she picked up her car keys, her phone beeped with a message.
'Hey, yeah I'm home now so call around whenever. It will be good to see you. X'
Piper grinned at Alex's reply, relieved that she wasn't on the receiving end of a cold shoulder after a week of silence
It was 2 hours later when Piper was touching up her make-up in her car mirror in the parking lot outside of Alex's apartment. She's tried to rehearse how to start the conversation and every possible permutation of what her girlfriend's replies might be at each stage, but she found there were too many possible responses to cover every eventuality and the Chinese take-out was getting cold while she practised. She straightened out her skinny jeans and headed towards the elevator for the top floor. Knocking confidently as she stood outside the apartment, panic started to set in about whether Alex was already planning to head out tonight and she might not even let her in. What if she had company already? Before the thoughts could gather too much pace, the door opened and Alex stood with a black ribbed vest top and black yoga pants, towelling her hair. She smiled as Piper handed her 2 dozen red roses by way of an introduction to the conversation.
"Wow, thanks. These are beautiful." Alex reached out and took the flowers from Piper, who was suddenly struggling to remember the first line of her speech.
"I'm sorry. I mean, these are to say I'm sorry. I'm saying it as well though, so I don't expect the flowers to do all the work…."
Alex raised her eyebrows, letting Piper ramble at an increasing pace as it seemed impossible to stop the flow of words at this point.
"…so I just wanted to say that. Like, before anything else, so you don't slam the door in my face. Because I have take-out. In case you haven't eaten. I mean, if you have already eaten, that's OK. You can just…keep it in the fridge for later or something. But could I have the beef and black bean sauce, because I haven't eaten and-"
"Pipes. Come in will you? I think the food will be getting cold." Alex stood to one side and let her through the door before closing it softly behind her. Piper stood just inside the lounge with the take out bag hanging awkwardly from her hand. "Um, are you going away somewhere?" She nodded towards the suitcase standing outside the laundry room.
"Oh, no. I just got back this afternoon. I've been away with Nicky on a trip to see a few potential clients for a few days."
"Oh, OK."
"Shall I take that?" Alex reached out for the take out and went to get a vase for the flowers.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'm saying that a lot tonight."
"You are." Alex smiled at her before getting out some plates and forks for the food. "You want a drink? Help yourself. I'll just put these into some water and join you in a minute. Did you get me pad thai?" Piper nodded. "Of course you did. Can you pour me a glass of white wine from the chiller then please?" Alex trimmed the stems off the bottoms of the roses before setting them into a vase and placing then on the table. She leaned down to Piper on her way to her chair. "They are gorgeous babe, thank you." She pecked her on the cheek quickly before sitting down to her food.
"So…." Piper started as they ate their meals at the table.
"So…" Alex added.
"OK, you're not going to make this easy for me then. I get it." Piper studied her plate as she thought about what to say next.
"Pipes, I'm not doing anything."
"Exactly!"
Alex raised her eyebrows slightly, before lifting her glasses up into her hair. It was clear to her that something was on Piper's mind and she was trying to let the blonde explain it of her own volition without feeling pressured to explain something she wasn't ready to articulate. The brunette tempered her instinct to cut in and interpret Piper's thoughts and emotions and instead focused her efforts on ensuring it didn't turn into an argument. She had missed Piper and was relieved to hear from her this afternoon so the last thing she wanted to do was frighten her away again. It felt like tempting a stray into her apartment to feed and care for it, when you were worried that it might find an exit and run away from you into the oncoming traffic.
"Can I take your coat maybe?" Alex stood to help Piper out of her coat and hang it up before sitting back down again. "There. I felt like I was eating with the delivery girl for a moment and it was weird." The brunette carried on eating her food, trying to bring a touch of levity to the increasingly thick silence that Piper's thinking was filling the room with.
It was a couple of minutes before Piper took another gulp of wine and decided to break the silence that she had created.
"So, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being a bitch and ruining our day last weekend. I wanted to make the decision about the Lawyer and I felt like you were pressuring me into taking your advice." Alex tried to cut in, but Piper held her hand up to stop her. "You might think that sounds stupid and maybe you didn't mean it like that at all, I'm just saying how I felt. I can't help how I feel Alex and sometimes you might think I'm a drama queen or whatever, but that's me. That's what you're taking on here….Don't try and change me Alex because I won't let you and I can't always be who you want or need me to be."
"Is that what you think I want? To change you?" Alex stopped eating and put her hand over the top of Piper's as it rested on the stem of her wine glass.
"I don't know. Maybe. I don't know if you want this version of me or the 24 year old who followed you around with puppy eyes."
Alex pushed her chair back and dropped to her knees by Piper's side, taking her hand inside both of her own.
"There is only one version and you're right here in front of me. You're both of those people and so much more besides. You're the sum of all of the experiences you've had, the good as well as the bad. They've shaped who you are and I know that there's more to learn about you from the time we've been apart and I want that. I want to know everything about you Piper Chapman. Thank you for apologising and for being honest. It's all I want from you. To never be afraid of telling me the truth, no matter what it is."
"My truths are pretty sucky at times, you should know that." Piper lifted her eyes from their hands and looked at Alex's eyes. "If you can't handle that or you want something different, well….I guess you need to tell me now. "
"I can handle it. I will handle it. If you don't run away from me and you promise me you'll stay….Work through whatever we have to deal with, but we do it together. I don't know what demons you face, but I want you to let me in Piper." Alex spoke softly and with a steely determination for her words to permeate Piper's skin with their truth.
"I know you truly mean that Alex, but I need to know you're not going to lose patience with me and dump my ass if I start to open up to you. It's incredibly fucking difficult for me to do that and I'm terrified of letting you past these walls in case you don't like what you see. I'm used to holding this shit inside and dealing you know? But all these God-damned therapy sessions are opening old wounds and I have no idea how the effects are going to come out. I'm fucking terrified quite frankly but I can't deal with that and the thought of losing you as well. I kind of feel like I have to choose one or the other at the moment."
"What are you saying Piper?" Alex sat back in her chair and released Piper's hands to hold onto the table.
"I think I'm telling you I need to choose. I can't deal with the court case and rape counselling and be your girlfriend at the same time."