Chapter 21
Sins of the father
The katana sliced the cool morning air with a sharp sound.
The way of the sword is the way to kill.
He flinched, his form breaking. He stepped back and reset his arms above his head. He slashed down.
You don't kill, why can't I do the same?
His grip loosened. He caught himself before the katana finished its arc, dangerously heading for his legs. He reset his hand on the handle and squeezed. He tried again.
I brought out the killer in him.
He faltered. The katana came down with barely any strength behind it. He sheathed the sword. This was futile. He wiped his brow. He sweat profusely yet he'd barely started. Each strike brought up unwelcome thoughts. Some were clear as day, other only vague recollections, barely more than feeling. His father standing alone in the courtyard. His father distraught. His father in pain, trying his best to smile.
He still reeled from Yumiko's revelations. He'd heard "hitokiri battosai" in Kyoto, but never would he have imagined that they were meant for him, his father's son if only in likeness. Sadly, if some pieces of the puzzle had fallen into place, he felt like the image he'd been working on had been but a small corner of the entire picture, and distorted to boot. His father had always advocated for peaceful resolution. He had yielded that ridiculous sakabato. How could he have been a killer? This was the complete opposite of everything he had believed in. He had wanted to ask Yumiko more questions but Emily had chosen that moment to walk out and ask her grandmother what a hitokiri was. The older woman had scrambled to her feet and invented some monster or other while walking the little girl to her own futon. Once she had returned, the moment had been broken. They'd both agreed to continue the conversation some other time and gone to bed. Of course, Kenji hadn't been able to sleep.
The young man set up for a battojutsu. He took a deep breath. He closed his eyes. Three. Two. One. His right hand reached for the katana, his left grabbed his saya. He unsheathed the sword swiftly, shifting the saya at the last minute to maximize the energy of the blow. The sword cut the air expertly, resounding sharply. He held the final stance, breathing hard into his lunge. Finally.
A sudden hand clap coming from behind him made him lose balance. He staggered forward before turning around.
"That took a while," said a young Japanese woman in a foreign dress.
"Excuse me?" asked Kenji, bewildered.
"I've been watching for a while. You missed all the other strikes before. Although I must say you've redeemed yourself with that one," she said, tongue in cheek.
Piqued, Kenji turned his back to her to sheathe his sword. Who the Hell did she think she was? And what was she doing here? The woman walked around him with a spring in her step.
"Did I upset you?"
He glared at her. Was she for real? She laughed.
"There, there. I was only joking. Ai-nee-san told me her brother was here and I just couldn't wait for you to show up at the house. I'm Sakurako."
She extended her hand.
"I'm Kenji," he mumbled, grabbing her hand and giving it a weak shake.
Sakurako walked to the engawa and sat.
"Don't mind me. This is fascinating."
Fine, he thought. Just do whatever. He turned his back on her and tried to settle his mind back into the practice. But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't do it. He turned around again hoping to convince her to go away. At the same moment, Yumiko opened the shoji.
"Ara,Sakura-chan. When did you get here?"
"Just a few moments ago. I was watching Kenji practice."
Kenji flinched. First name basis, already?
"What do you think?" asked Yumiko, her eyes going from the young man to the newcomer, suddenly in full entertainer mode.
"He's either really bad, or really good. I haven't decided yet." The two women laughed. Kenji's irritation went up a notch.
"You've come at the right time. Breakfast is ready. Come in, come in."
Kenji sat in seiza at the table. Emily sat between him and Sakurako, looking at the woman with adoration. He resented it; this was usually a look she reserved for him. Yumiko sat across from him, eyeing the whole situation with barely hidden amusement.
"Emily, did you sleep here?" asked Sakurako.
Emily nodded, a proud smile on her face.
"That's great!" said the woman.
The little girl gave Kenji a shy smile. Sakurako raised an eyebrow at him then a look of comprehension crossed her face.
"Sakurako is staying at the parsonage for the summer but Mr Jenkin's parents are ailing so they've asked us to take care of Sakurako while they're gone," explained Yumiko as she passed the girl a bowl of rice.
"This house is much more interesting. Plus I already spend most of my time here anyway," said the young woman as she unceremoniously shoved rice and pickles in her mouth.
"Ms Jenkin is so stuffy!" exclaimed Emily.
Yumiko gave her a look. The little girl shrunk back against Sakurako. The young woman laughed.
Suddenly they heard a knock on the door.
"I'll get it!" Emily jumped on her feet, followed by Yumiko calling after her to sit down and eat.
Kenji stared at Sakurako as she continued eating. She had a dark complexion and wore her hair in the same style Ai did. She would have been pretty, had her manners been better. The young woman caught his gaze.
"Yes?"
"You eat a lot," blurted out Kenji, at a loss.
She shrugged.
"Ms Jenkin's cook is horrible. This is delicious. You should eat, too."
Kenji realised his chopsticks had been hovering above his food all this time. He took a few bites, washing everything down with miso soup.
"Emily. She must like you a lot," she said, pointing at him with her chopsticks.
"Why?"
"She never sleeps in this house. She's afraid of it. She's not used to the creaking and the sukimakaze like us. She must like you a lot to have decided to stay the night."
"Maybe she's just getting older," countered Kenji.
She waved her chopsticks at him again. He screamed internally.
"Don't undermine yourself. She likes you."
Before he could reply Yumiko and Emily came back, Sanosuke in tow. The tall man plopped down next to Kenji.
"Toast is great but that looks amazing!" He grinned. "Where's mine?"
Yumiko smiled and passed him a rice bowl and chopsticks. He dug in immediately. A mere few bites in and he and Sakurako got involved in an animated conversation on the merits of Japanese and English cuisines. Emily interjected when she could place a word, usually siding with Sakurako (which would earn her a small hug) and Yumiko carefully watched, ensuring that no one ever ran out of food. Kenji, overwhelmed, sat there for a moment then got up. He walked away, sitting in the morning sun on the engawa.
xxxx
"Too much action too early?"
He looked up. Yumiko stood above him. She smiled softly and sat down, legs dangling over the side of the gallery. She handed him a rice ball. He took it but let it rest in his hands, on his lap.
"She is…" he searched for the correct word.
"A handful," finished Yumiko.
He nodded.
"Will she really be staying with us."
Yumiko looked at him softly. She pushed aside a stray strand of hair away from his eyes. He resisted the urge to lean into her touch. He wanted her peace.
"She'll be staying at the big house. Don't worry."
He sighed.
"But she will grow on you, if you give her the chance. She's been coming and going every summer for the last five years. She's part of an education program from the Meiji government. They're sending young women all over the "civilized" world to learn western culture."
Kenji had vaguely heard of this initiative when he was in school. People weren't too keen to send their children away and there had been some push back.
"How was she chosen?" he asked
"Her grandfather was in the Shinsengumi. He…" she hesitated for a moment. "He didn't survive the Bakumatsu. Then, to make things worse, her father got involved in the Boshin war."
"They were on the wrong side every step of the way," said a soft voice behind them.
They turned around. Sakurako stood in the doorway.
"My uncle thought that sending me away would help polish the family name. Sano-ji-san needs more rice, is there any?"
This switch from serious to mundane jolted Kenji. Wasn't there anything sacred for that woman?
xxxx
The next week proved to be very exhausting for Kenji. The fair weather holding, Ai, Sanosuke and Sakurako decided to organise a plethora of activities around the estate. The children in tow, the entire household walked to the village, rowed boats on the lake, played hide and seek in the English gardens and stayed up late to watch the starry night sky. Kenji followed, not wanting to disappoint his niece, but his heart wasn't into it. He found Sakurako's endless energy jarring, her bluntness disconcerting. At night, they would have long drawn out meals in the dining room of the mansion, leaving no time for Kenji to question Yumiko further about his father. Later at night, he would find himself completely exhausted but unable to fall asleep, his mind a turmoil.
On a particularly warm day, Ai suggested a picnic by the rotunda. She would take the children and the necessaries by carriage. Sakurako insisted that the rest of the party ride horses. Sanosuke immediately approved and impressed everyone by riding bareback, something he had learned in the Mongolian steppes. Fersen, riding with a saddle, quickly caught up with him, leaving Sakurako and Kenji behind. Having never ridden, it took the young man a little while to get on the horse and figure out how to control the animal. Sakurako tried to help but he shut her out; he would figure this all by himself, like everything else. He eventually managed to get the horse to walk then trot slowly. The young woman, riding sidesaddle, caught up with him and matched his speed. They remained silent for a moment. Kenji refused to engage her, knowing that once she'd start talking, she wouldn't stop.
"You don't like me very much, do you," she said, after a while, quite casually.
He flinched but continued to look ahead.
"It's ok you know. I don't mind. Not very many people like me. That's one of the reasons why I'm here… probably."
He turned to her for a moment. She winked.
"Sanosuke likes you. And Ai, and Yumiko and Emily, and the children…"
"He speaks," she laughed.
He turned to her for a moment, annoyed. She winked.
"Yes, they all like me. But you don't."
He took a deep breath and exhaled through the nose. Did they really need to have that conversation? He waited a long while.
"I… This is not a good time," he finally said.
She nodded.
"Yes. Sano-ji-san told me that your parents passed away last year. I'm very sorry about that. Ai-ne-san also told me that you hadn't known about this side of your family."
He stiffened, upset. How much had everyone been telling her about his life?
"Is there anything else about myself that you would like to share with me?" he snapped.
She sighed and shook her head.
"I did it again, didn't I?"
He threw her a sideway glance. She looked genuinely contrite for once.
"Forgive me. I have this bad habit of talking before thinking. I haven't been investigating you. I just asked everyone because I just can't seem to get through to you. Everyone is full of praises for you. Emily says she wants to marry you; that little girl doesn't just warm up to anyone. I've been pestering Yumiko-oba-san on how to get you to talk to me but she just told me to talk to you. Which is what I've already been trying to do all this time!"
She took a deep breath.
"So I've thought about this, you see, and I've come to the conclusion that if I tell you my story, maybe you'll share yours."
"You don't have to tell me anything," he replied, but he was curious, in spite of his dislike.
"I know. But I want to. Just don't listen if you really don't care."
He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. She blew him a raspberry. He shook his head.
"Like you were told my grandfather was in the Shinsengumi. He was a staunch supporter of the Tokugawa. Our family had been on their side from Sekigahara if not from before. Things didn't end up well for him, though, and he died in a skirmish in Kyoto. My father was the youngest of four, and without my grandfather's support, the family soon became destitute. My father managed to get married somehow but never forgave the Ishin or the Meiji government. So he got involved in the Boshin war. Of course, as we you know, that didn't turn out too well either. He managed to escape and reunite with my mother. I was born long after all that, the 8th child of a starving family. My father drank a lot - he still does - and he squandered away what little we had left. My mother tried her best to keep us afloat but she died when I was very young. My uncles tried to help us, but their relationship to my father is really bad. They've all found lives in the new era, unlike my father."
The pair stopped under an oak tree. The horses grazed. Kenji squeezed the reins in his hands. He was reminded of Sanosuke and Yahiko's stories. The Meiji era had been supposed to help make a better Japan; why was it that so many people had and still suffered from its advent? To make things worse, his father had been an active participant in bringing forth the change. Anger simmered.
"Five years ago, I was a dirty thirteen year old girl with no real prospect in life, unless you consider prostitution a viable pursuit. When my oldest uncle heard about the foreign education initiative, he enrolled me. He thought it might be a good way to redeem the family name. My father raged and threatened to wall me up. Luckily, his drinking habits mean that it was more than easy for me to leave our hovel and join my uncle. I have been in Yorkshire for the last five years, and I'm very grateful to your family for having helped me find such a loving house. The Jenkins are very boring, but they've given me a life I never thought I'd have."
She smiled at him.
"Your turn now."