A/N: I'll keep this short. I've got a lot going on right now (and the Olympics is addictive!), so I've been later than usual with the update of the latest chapter. Hopefully, I will be fairly quick with the next one though as I've already started it. Thanks for the reviews (the good, the bad and the ugly). Fasten your seatbelts for choppy waters ahead, but you'll see some nice progression of the story / characters as a result - which is what we all need after the angst- right? Just be patient my friends ;-)

Alex got back into her car, where Lorna was waiting, and started the engine.

"Well? How'd it go?"

"They said yes."

"Oh, great! I knew they'd be fine about it." Lorna grinned as she fastened her seatbelt.

"Yeah, we'll see."

"I'm sensing there's a 'but' to this story…."

"I didn't tell them the full story."

"Why?"

Alex pushed through a changing light to make it past the crossroads and avoided Lorna's eyes when she replied.

"Because I needed a quick 'yes'…. And pretty much everything I say ends up with an argument where Piper is concerned lately, so I was a bit sketchy on the details."

"Oh God…what did you tell them?" Lorna didn't disguise her concern at not being completely open with the girls at the soap store. Before she had gotten to know them, Piper's rants at Nicky on the phone about the late or damaged deliveries were legendary in their little office.

"I said we had some construction work to sort out to make the office bigger and we needed them to give a couple of girls some work to do for maybe a couple of weeks until that was finished. I didn't lie." Alex shrugged, though she knew fine well that she'd over-simplified the situation.

Lorna thought for a moment and decided that Alex knew them better than anyone else, so she had handled it in the way she knew would work best for everyone.

"OK…..But just don't ask me to get involved in whatever tangled web you're weaving. I'm a terrible liar."

"That's the worst lie you ever told Lorna Morello and we both know it." Alex looked at her, raising her eyebrow and they both broke out laughing. A few blocks later, they were quiet again before Lorna spoke up.

"How is Piper?"

"What do you mean?"

"With the court date coming up. Is she coping OK? It must be praying on her mind."

"Yeah, it's next week. She hasn't really talked about it, but I know she's worried because she's blowing hot and cold a lot lately."

"Trouble in paradise?"

"Paradise? Are you kidding me?! We're a Hell of a long way off route to anything by that name."

"I don't believe that. I've seen the way you two look at each other and there's some paradise right there."

"Well, I guess that just shows you can't judge a book by its cover."

"You can't fake that Alex. I've seen it with my own eyes with you two and it's something I can't explain. It's like Maria and Tony."

Alex laughed at the West Side Story comparison and shook her head. "Which means one of us will be dead and the other heartbroken in the end? I'm really looking forward to that then."

"You can joke about it, but love is love Alex. I seen it with you two. Piper looks like an addict who can't see her next fix when you're not by her side when we're out. She can't stand to be separated from you….And you're the same. You watch her from the corner of your eye when you think she's not looking – like you're trying to memorise every part of her in case she disappears in a puff of smoke at any moment."

Alex gripped the steering wheel with more force and bit back her retort on Piper's puff of smoke party trick.

"Well, I don't like the ending to that story."

"Even when the ending is sad, it's a great movie when the characters have so much chemistry they are inevitable."

Alex remained tight lipped as she tapped her finger on the wheel, waiting for the lights to change as they neared their destination.

"I'm just saying, you can't deny you've got that kind of connection with her. You have to grab it with both hands and hang on for the ride because that's what you're going to remember – no matter if you're the one who ends up heartbroken or with a bullet in your belly." Lorna shrugged as though there were no other options.

"On that cheery note, I'm pleased to say we're finally here." Alex drove around the corner and parked up outside a row of run down stores before cutting the engine.

XXXXX

They walked through a glass fronted door filled with posters for local events and headed along a narrow corridor to a large office walled with thick glass panes. Alex looked inside and tapped on the door, whereby a woman with short red hair looked up and over the top of her glasses, waving them to come inside.

"Alex! It's good to see you again." She greeted them warmly, standing from behind her desk to hug them both.

"How are you Lorna? It must be a year since I last saw you already."

"Hi Red. I'm good, really good. Busy, but keeping my brain busy is a good thing, right?" Lorna smiled as Red pulled her into a tight hug before releasing her.

"And you Alex - I could kiss you right now!" Red grinned and hugged Alex before the dark haired woman could pull away.

"Careful Red, you might like that." Alex winked as the older woman released her.

"I don't think I'm your type sweetheart and I'm not a fielder either, or batter? I don't remember the American phrase, but something about batting and playing ball – baseball? Anyway, sit, sit. You want a drink?"

"I think you mean softball or batting for the other team - and you're mixing your metaphors. Coffee would be great actually. Just wanted to get the paperwork agreed for these new starters so we know who to expect and when."

"Sure, sure. I got the files here so you can see who we've got available for placement. Let me check…..you've got 2 places in the office with Lorna right?"

"Yeah, it will be admin stuff really. Answering calls, taking messages, typing up customer orders for the books, that kind of thing."

"Good, perfect….And 4 for the depot with Poussey and Taystee too?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure what they will be doing yet. Clean driving licences would be good in case we want them to run deliveries, but we can use some hands to manage the clean up of the vans now we've got a bigger fleet of them if they don't drive."

"Licence history will be in there on the front page I think. Here's the files for who we've shortlisted for you. You want to take a look while I get some cake?" Red dropped the files onto the table in front of Lorna and Alex before patting Alex on the shoulder and leaving them to look through the paperwork. Alex and Lorna discussed the candidates and who they could use where in the business, making a pile of maybes and definite 'no's.

"You got any questions ladies?" The older woman walked over to the table where they sat with a tray of cakes and some coffee in a pot.

"Yeah. This one looks like she's good with numbers from her High School grades, which would be perfect for the office. But….what's the deal with the rehab right now? Is she clean?"

"You're looking at Tricia I think. She's a good girl. I've met her a couple of times and she wants to change, but….she's easily led. She's clean, but only for a couple of months. She'll need time off for meetings with her counsellor twice a week, group sessions after work. It will be the same group as always – after work on Wednesdays and I don't know what she's doing sponsor-wise…" Red looked at Alex hopefully.

"I can't Red. Honestly, I just don't think I could give that kind of support to anyone else right now."

"I understand. It's OK. I was just asking because you did a great job before."

Alex sighed and flicked through Tricia's file again before speaking.

"Things were a bit different then. I have a lot more going on right now and I don't want this girl to fail because I was too busy to notice her falling off the wagon."

"It's fine, really Alex. I need a sponsor for her before I can sign her over to work though."

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help."

"How is Nicky?"

"She's good. Really good actually, isn't she Lorna?"

"Yeah, she's loving her promotion." Lorna rolled her eyes and smiled.

"She got a promotion?! My little Nicky Nicholls got a promotion?" Red was beaming at the news.

"Yeah, she's been doing so well. She had one little wobble a few weeks ago and we went to a meeting together as soon as she called me. Since then, she's really thrown herself into work now we've got these new contracts. I've asked her to run things between our office and a new contractor we've got on board in Newark and she's flying with it. Just need the lazy bitch to learn to drive now."

"That's so great. My girls are doing so well working for you Alex. It makes me proud to see how you've all changed." Red patted Lorna's shoulder as she poured the coffee out into small cups for them. "I really hope you change your mind one day about me setting up some publicity for you. It's important to get some success stories out there and reading how well one employer has done would encourage other companies to get involved you know….It would be great to be able-"

"No Red. You know how I feel about that."

"I do." Red held her hands up to show she wasn't going to argue the point any further. "I'm happy you're involved and I want to keep it that way, so." She motioned a zip across her mouth before moving the cake plate towards Alex. "I've got a tray of donuts in the back to take back with you, for my girls. You tell them I send my love."

XXXXX

Friday started with an early morning session with Julie for Piper and she had been braced to tell her things had gotten a little complicated with Alex. But when the meeting took place, Julie didn't even mention Alex, choosing to follow Piper's trail of thought about the upcoming court case and talk about her feelings about that to start with. It appeared to Julie that much of Piper's anxiety about that was tied up with the court appearance and her worry that her past would somehow taint any testimony she might have to give, rather than anything specifically related to the sexual assault.

"So, your fear is that somehow this court case might end with you being back in prison?"

"Yes. And I know that sounds crazy because I'm not the one on trial, but it's like they will find a way to put me back there." Piper was pacing by the window in carefully measured steps before turning and pacing the same number back again.

"Do you think they would put you back in Litchfield?"

Piper stopped walking and leaned over the back of the armchair, staring into the seat cushion.

"Yes." She spoke softly.

"Piper….Can we talk about what happened to you when you were in Litchfield? Would that be OK?" Julie probed gently, not wanting to deter her from opening up a little about the root of the darkness she was facing. The blonde didn't raise her eyes to look at her counsellor, but she nodded her agreement slowly, allowing Julie to continue.

XXXXX

Alex worked from home on Friday since there was chaos on their little office with the construction crew starting to take the walls down. She made a view video conference calls to Italy to make sure everyone was happy that they could deliver as they said and got agreement for the agreed bonus to be paid out on that delivery. It was a relief to see a cash injection as she'd run this order at a loss with bringing Bill's crew on board, but it was a loss leader that would see them make bigger returns further down the line on future work, so it was worth it. She took a break to make some lunch and started to think over her conversations with Piper this last week. Piper always seemed to expect the worst from her and Alex was losing her patience with constantly feeling like she was holding back on calling Piper out on the shitty things she was doing or saying. The walking around on eggshells was starting to wear on both of them and they'd always had a very open and passionate relationship, where no holds were barred on expressing emotions. It was like they were both holding back for fear of any consequences. It was like playing emotional chess, rather than developing a deep and meaningful connection with someone she loved so much it hurt. And that was the problem. She loved Piper so much it hurt. It hurt her every time they were together and it hurt when Piper suggested they shouldn't be together. Simply having Piper in the same city hurt. Lorna's analogy of their ending being either heartbreak or a bullet in the belly was giving Alex flashbacks of that day in Paris where Piper wheeled her suitcase out of their apartment without so much as a glance back to see her heart shattering.

She made herself a bagel with some coffee and ate it whilst dialling Bill's number. She had an idea that might kill two birds with one stone and Bill was a safe pair of hands to back her up with what she had in mind.

"Hey Alex, what can I do for you?"

"Hi. I got confirmation from everyone that the Rigoveri contract was 100% done and they've agreed to pay the invoices this morning. Just wanted to say thanks for your help with that."

"Oh, that's great to hear Alex. I'll let everyone know downstairs."

"Good. I've also got the contract signed from your boss to transfer ownership of your place over to me as of Monday."

"Wow, you don't hang around do you?!" Bill laughed. "Well, I guess congratulations are in order, Boss."

"Thanks. We just need to keep the order books full now and things carry on as they have been for the last couple of weeks. I've been really pleased with the way things have been handled over in Newark, so I wondered if you'd accompany me on a trip to Europe to firm up some other big contracts? That way, they know who they are dealing with and see a guy with decades of experience in the industry supporting me at the top level. What do you think?"

"I don't know what to say….I'm honestly speechless." Alex could hear him swallowing hard at the end of the phone and didn't want to make Bill feel uncomfortable.

"Well, let me help you out with some words then. The first being 'yes, I'd love to'. The Rigoveri contract has been watched closely by a company I deal with in London and a potential new client in Madrid, so I wanted to get out there and press some flesh while they have the appetite for it. Would you come with me to present our combined expertise as a bigger company that can deal with higher volumes?"

"Yes! I will definitely do that! Alex…..do you mind me asking if everyone's jobs are safe? I'm sorry to ask so early and before it's all official. I just wanted to see whether we could give everyone some good news about security is all…I mean. If it's too soon…"

"Can we talk about it while we're travelling? I want to run some ideas past you."

"Of course. Let me know what your travel plans are and I can make arrangements. Thanks. For everything. I honestly didn't know whether we'd be pricing up the fixtures and fitting for auction the week you walked through the door."

XXXXX

The session with her Lawyer on Friday afternoon had given her a headache. It was all about going over the details and making sure that she had her testimony pretty much memorised in terms of the details. It felt like revising for an exam she didn't want to take, but was important to pass all the same. They finished up by 3pm, but Piper was drained from today's meeting and called Polly to ask if she minded if Piper went straight home instead of coming to the store.

"Yeah, fine by me. Is everything OK?"

"Thanks. I'm just worn out from all the intense conversations today is all. I feel like I have to memorise all this stuff and he keeps putting legal phrases into conversation that I feel I should know what they mean. It's like I need to note it down and Google it later because I don't want to stop his flow. Once he gets going, he doesn't come up for air you know?"

"Do you think he'll do a good job representing you?"

"I think so. He seems motivated to help me and he keeps reminding me that I'm not the one on trial here. I can't help but feel like I am though because at the end of the day, it's his word against mine in that court and those other women are relying on me to do a good job if I get called to the stand."

"Do you want me to come round later?"

"No, I just want a quiet night to be honest Pol. I'm kind of sick of the sound of my own voice today, so some solitude would help me relax and get an early night. Do you want to take tomorrow off since I was out all day? I don't mind running things all weekend if you fancy a break?"

"Actually, Pete's got the weekend off work, so I might snap your arm off on that if you really don't mind? I want to go shopping for a new sofa and this is my chance to do it while he has his wallet full after payday."

"Sure, I wouldn't stand in the way of you and fabric swatches. He has no idea what he's in for yet does he?" Piper chuckled as she made her way to her front door and put her key into the lock.

XXXXX

The store was quiet on Saturday and Piper was trying not to do the mundane work of cleaning and re-organising the stock because she knew they needed to give these new employees that Alex had taken on something to do for a couple of weeks. It was hard enough some days for her and Polly to be industrious, but at least they had business plans and accounting work to do in the background. She hadn't heard from her girlfriend since she called into the store on Thursday and decided to send her a quick text to see what she was up to.

'Hey. It was nice to see you at the store on Thursday. Mostly I enjoyed seeing the coffee of course ;-) Will you be calling by with lunch today? X'

A couple of hours passed and she didn't receive a reply, so she figured Alex had no signal or she had her phone switched off for a meeting or something. She tapped out another message.

'Just kidding about lunch, but I'm serious when I ask if you want to place an order with me for dinner tonight? My treat. X'

Piper locked up the store at 6 o'clock and she hadn't heard anything from Alex, so she decided to call her as she walked to the subway. It went straight to voicemail, so she hung up and disappeared into the busy station. She got home and pushed the door open to find her mail on the doormat as she entered the front room. Stepping over it, she hung her bag up and took off her coat before bending down to pick it up and shut the door over. She put the mail on the kitchen counter as she dropped a microwave meal onto a plate to heat it up, pouring a glass of cold white wine from a fresh bottle in the fridge. It had been a long day on her own and since Alex hadn't replied, it looked like it was going to be another meal for one tonight too. She flicked on the TV and got her hot food out of the microwave to settle down and eat it. Only when she was pouring her third glass of wine from the fridge did she see the mail again and wandered over to go through it. All junk, with the exception of a hand written envelope with just her first name on the front, written in neat joined up letters. Figuring it might be a baby shower invitation or something from a mutual friend of Polly's, she opened the envelope by the counter and read the familiar handwriting.

Piper,

Having you back in my life these past few months has been the best thing to happen to me in such a long time and I'm so glad that we got an opportunity to be together again after 4 long years of being apart. My life was Hell without you and I really hope that one day we can heal the wounds that have opened up for both of us. I know it is painful for both of us right now and I can see now that I've been closing my senses to the facts that are all around us as we try to build a new relationship. The trouble is, we're avoiding dealing with the past and any foundations we're trying to build for our relationship right now are crumbling because of it. We're both still hurting from things that have happened over the last 4 years and I so desperately want to be there for you right now, for everything you are going through with the court case and the counselling. But, I'm selfish. You know I am. I have tried to bury my feelings for the sake of supporting you, but I realise now that I'm making things worse by doing that. I'm so terrified of opening my heart to you again and the chance for you to break it by leaving me. It consumes me. My desire to care for you comes across as controlling and you fiercely need your independence right now. I can't help but feel I've failed you and the tighter I hold on to you, the more you pull to break free.

Believe me when I tell you this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm a coward for not being able to do this face to face, but I can't bear to see your eyes and what might lie in them right now. These last couple of weeks have been so hard and doing this is absolutely tearing me apart. I'm full of anger, self-loathing, fear, desperation, love. God, I'm so full of love for you Piper. You're all I can think of, day and night. You are always on my mind and having you so near to me, yet emotionally so far away is worse than any physical pain I can imagine.

So I'm walking away. I can't be your girlfriend anymore. I'm releasing you and giving you the freedom and independence you need to deal with the trial and progress with your counselling. I truly hope that you can find the strength and focus to deal with these things without me muddying the waters for you. We both need space and time to process everything that has happened and figure out what we want.

I've asked Nicky to keep an eye on things with the new staff as I'm going to be away for a while. I need to find my own inner peace and some space away from the city will help me to do that. I need a clean break from everything. I'm sorry.

I love you Piper. I've never stopped loving you and you'll always be in my heart, no matter where I am.

Alex

x