A/N: First things first – well done to the GB Women's hockey team for progressing to their first ever Olympic final last night by beating NZ! I counted them taking three hockey balls to the face and every one of them finished the game. Awesome!

Secondly...

I don't know who is having a harder time right now - Piper, Alex or me with reviews for these chapters! The reviews on the last 2 chapters have been immense and thanks to everyone who has taken the time to write some reviews that are longer than some of the unfinished fics on this site ;-). I'm not going to lie, I've been flummoxed with what to do after these reviews. I even considered re-writing 69 and 70 to calm the hate for Alex as it's really got to me how some people think she doesn't deserve / love Piper. I'm extremely grateful for those reviewers who have re-read and given me a chance to win them over with a new and less harsh perspective and those reviewers who encourage me to write my own story. I do forget sometimes that this isn't a 'vote for your preferred story thread' fic and I could write a massive meteor shower landing on the whole cast drinking milkshakes at a Lady GaGa concert in the next chapter if I wanted to - because it is MY story after all right?*

I also looked into whether any of you are Beta readers to get some feedback on two alternate versions of chapter 71 that I've written. I didn't see any names I recognised in there, so I've had to just post without feedback because I needed someone who already knows and follows the story. On the up side, over 40 reviews on each of the last 2 chapters has flushed out some reviews from readers who probably haven't commented before, so I'm happy that so many people are reading.

What I WILL do is make a minor tweak to the previous chapter so this version of 71 works, so if you see two chapter alerts, that's the reason why.

*No Lady GaGa fans or milkshakes were harmed in the making of this chapter.

"Where is she Nicky?" Piper moved away from the shorter woman to see her eyes more clearly and Nicky was looking everywhere but at Piper.

"I know you know, so tell me. She's not answering my texts."

"Look, I'm not getting in the middle of this. You two need to work this out without me."

"I'm not asking you to get involved. I'm asking you where she is." Piper moved to stand in front of the door so Nicky was hemmed in. Nicky sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

"This isn't fair Piper. She's my friend and I can't betray her trust."

"Is she still in the city?"

"She was making arrangements for a trip to Europe to see some big cheeses."

"So if I went over to her apartment right now, I wouldn't find her there?" Nicky looked up and caught Piper's piercing blue eyes burning a hole into her.

"No, you wouldn't."

Piper's shoulders slumped and she sat back onto the desk, thinking about where else the brunette might have gone to.

Nicky chewed her lip and looked to the ceiling, searching for some divine intervention on the right thing to do. "Because she wouldn't answer the door." Nicky muttered finally.

"What?" Piper's head spun around.

"But say, if you left your hair straighteners there and I gave you a spare key to go and get them….You might find what you were looking for. But only if you tell me you REALLY need to find those hair straighteners." Nicky dug into her pocket and pulled a key off her set to hand to Piper. "You know the key codes right?"

"I do…Thanks Nic…..I-."

"Don't thank me yet blondie. You haven't found your hair straighteners. Just…..fuck, I don't know. Don't do anything stupid OK? I love lesbian drama as much as the next person, but you do it on a tightrope over the Grand Canyon." Nicky shook her head and left Piper staring at the key.

"Pol! I'm going out for a bit. I…..I think I know where Alex is." She was gone before Polly could answer and on her way to Alex's apartment. The adrenaline was moving through her veins and propelling her to her final destination before she could work out what the Hell she was going to say. Parking in the garage, she pushed the button for the top floor in the elevator and tapped her fingers anxiously on the rail as the floors passed slowly. It felt as though Alex might be taking the stairs in the opposite direction at any moment and every minute counted.

Arriving outside of Alex's door, she was reminded of the last time she stood outside this wooden door, bearing a bunch of flowers and following that up with the 'I think we should take a break' conversation that started this whole mess. She opted to knock first and see if she would get an answer. After a couple of tries, she lifted the key to the door and pushed it into the lock. Half expecting it to be the wrong key, she turned it slowly and was surprised to find it turning. She pushed the door handle down and opened the door to find Alex making coffee in the kitchen. She pushed the door shut so it slammed a little behind her, causing Alex to look up.

"Shit."

"Now there's a word. More than I've heard from you in the last few days anyway."

"Piper…"

"Don't stop. Now you've found your words, I'm all ears to hear them. Unless you would prefer to write them down? You seem to prefer the one way kind of communication lately."

"OK. I deserved that." Alex ran her hand through her hair, anxiously anticipating the wrath that was inevitably coming her way.

"Did I deserve to get a Dear John letter too?"

"It wasn't about what you deserve."

"Why did you do it? Why did you make me think you'd left?"

"To avoid this."

"What? A two-way conversation where we can BOTH participate?" Piper took her coat off and threw it onto the sofa, indicating she was not leaving any time soon.

"Yes."

"What gives you the right to break up with me like that?"

"YOU wanted to break up with ME remember?!"

"Oh, I remember. I remember you fighting for us to stay together. I remember you telling me it wasn't MY decision and you didn't accept it. You wanted to be with me last week Alex. You wanted to fight for our relationship. I stayed – do you remember that?!"

"Yes, I do remember that. I remember being selfish and not thinking about what you might want. I remember not sleeping for fear of you not being there when I woke up. I remember feeling that I was holding onto you so tightly that I would be the one to break you." Her green eyes were holding the blue ones that were equally burning across the kitchen.

"I STAYED Alex. I didn't go anywhere!" Piper threw her hands up, exasperated by Alex's paranoia.

"That time you did. But what about the next time, or the time after that?!"

"I don't understand?" Piper furrowed her brow.

"You're always going to leave me Piper. Whether it's after an argument or in fear of something you're dealing with. I can't live a life with that gnawing feeling that you might not be there when I get home or if we argue that you'll walk out on me. It damn near killed me last time and I can't deal with the thought of that happening again." Alex sighed and pushed her glasses into her hair, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"So, you thought you'd walk out on me and give me a taste of my own medicine. Is that it?"

"No! If we weren't together, you wouldn't need to run away from me and I wouldn't be constantly trying to anticipate it."

"Why couldn't you tell me this last week?"

"Because I didn't realise it last week. Why didn't you take the time to explain to me why YOU thought it would be better for us to break up last week?"

"Touche."

Alex sighed. "Since you're apparently staying, would you like a coffee?"

"Yeah, coffee would be good." Piper slipped her shoes off and walked to the sofa while Alex took her time making coffee for both of them.

"Why didn't you answer my texts?" Piper asked when Alex sat down, putting their mugs onto the coffee table.

"Which one? The invitation to dinner after I'd just put a letter through your door in the singular most cowardly act ever? Or the fuck you?" Alex deadpanned.

"Both."

"I don't know. I thought I was doing the right thing by getting out of your life. I thought you might be better getting your rage out and then forgetting about me and that I could do the same." Alex swirled her coffee around with intense concentration.

"That's a cop out answer."

"Maybe it is."

"And you don't run from confrontation. Ever. You face it head on, no bullshit. It's just not how you are. Why can't you be straight with me?"

"I don't know what answer you're digging for here, so how about we both agree I'm a shitty person and you were right, I was wrong, blah blah?" Alex's tone was forcibly indifferent and it set Piper's blood boiling that she wouldn't argue her point.

"For fuck's sake Alex!" Piper snatched the mug out of Alex's hands and slammed it onto the coffee table, spilling hot coffee everywhere. "I don't want that!"

"What DO you fucking want then? How about we start with that?!" Alex shot back.

"I don't know. You to be a normal human being again for a start instead of this person I don't recognise who can't talk to me."

"I can't give you what it is that you need."

"What is it that you think I need?" Piper asked, surprised by the statement.

"I don't know. That's the problem. Space? Independence maybe? Control of your own decisions?"

"Control that you took from me when you made the decision to break up."

"Yes. I know. See? I'm swimming in unchartered waters here Piper and I have no fucking clue what direction to head into. I'm supposed to be able to save you from drowning while you're dealing with this court case and the counselling. All I seem to be doing is pulling you under."

"So, what? It's too hard, so you just give up?"

"I'm trying to do the right fucking thing here Piper." Alex spoke through a clenched jaw.

"Are you? Or are you just thinking the nice sandy beach looks like the better option? Am I too much trouble for you? Is that the problem? I've got too much baggage to deal with these days and you prefer the old Piper who was a little uptight, but was much easier to deal with?"

"No! That's not what I'm saying at all! Jesus Christ. Call me a selfish asshole, but I'm worn out with tiptoeing over the minefield of trying to help you. I'm either saying the wrong thing and you're going off like a firecracker or I'm not attentive enough and you're blowing up at me. It's fucking exhausting and I'm sick of being kicked around!" Alex stood up and paced the room.

"Finally a bit of honesty!"

"Are you leaving now?" Alex sniped.

"No I'm not, because that's exactly what you're hoping for isn't it?! Well tough shit, because things are finally getting real. You're talking to me properly for the first time in ages and I can finally understand what the fuck is going on inside that head."

"You call this TALKING?! It looks a lot like yelling to me." Alex scoffed.

"I don't care what the volume is Alex. I care what the words are so yell some more. Tell me what you really think. Come on." Piper stood up too, hand on hips, goading Alex to reply.

"Now you're being ridiculous."

"Am I? Come on, let's have it. Here's your chance to get it all off your chest. No pen and paper required."

"I told you why I did that! Yet another fucking thing on the black list of things to be held against me every time we have a fight."

"Is that the best you've got? What, are you too scared to get angry with the poor rape victim?!" Piper's eyes were blazing now and she was breathing heavily from the shouting and the adrenaline.

Alex shot her a look and clenched her jaw. "Piper…"

Piper froze as she saw Alex's eyes, realisation suddenly dawning on her. "That's exactly it isn't it?" Piper sat back on the sofa and ran her hand through her hair.

"This is fucking pointless and it's doing neither of us any good to go on like this."

"I disagree." Piper said quietly as she stared at the floor.

"What? Look, you're probably tired with the court case coming up and-."

"Don't do that."

"Fine." Alex sat back onto the sofa wearily.

"You're holding back all the time aren't you? Jesus, why didn't I see this sooner?" Piper shook her head and pulled her hair back behind her ear.

"You're reading too much into this. You can't analyse stuff that's said in the heat of the moment."

"I know you Alex. I know you only placate me in an argument if you need it to be over quickly because you had a deal to sort out. This time I couldn't put my finger on it until now. You haven't been fighting back."

"If this is your way of pushing my buttons to provoke a reaction, I'm not biting."

"Proving my point."

"Seriously?! Alright, fine. Yes, I feel guilty as Hell for you going to prison and if it weren't for me, none of this fucking SHITFEST would have happened to you OK?"

"You didn't put me behind bars, the law did."

"Which they wouldn't have done without my information."

"You didn't lie, it was the truth. I broke the law, I was punished. But it's not all about that. You feel guilty about the rape don't you?"

"I feel guilty for ALL OF IT Piper! Who knows what you might be doing now if you hadn't met me."

"And you're letting me use you as a punch bag every time I get angry because what, you think you deserve it?!"

"It's not a conscious decision, but yes, I suppose that's one way of looking at it."

"It's not your fault, so can you stop playing the martyr? If I hadn't been such a prissy tell-tale when I went inside, I wouldn't have been in that situation. You can't live your life feeling guilty over something you had no control over."

"I did though didn't I? I could have not named you."

"We've been over this. Someone else would have if it wasn't you. I was going down regardless. We need to let it heal Alex."

"How?! How can it heal when it's right there in every room we walk into together, hanging over us like a cloud of doom?"

"Cut it the Hell loose is how! Jesus, when did you get so into self pity?!"

"I'M into self pity?! Really? I'm not the one who's drinking a bottle of vodka every time shit doesn't go my way!"

They stood, glaring at each other for a moment before Piper's lip started to quiver. Alex looked at her, holding her breath, sure she had gone too far and about to offer an awkward apology when Piper started laughing. First from her throat, then a fully on belly laugh with tears streaming down her face. Alex stared at her for a moment before finding herself laughing as well, more so from Piper gasping for air and clutching her stomach.

"Oh my God, that felt good." Piper wiped her eyes and caught her breath finally.

"I think you're actually losing your marbles." Alex sat next to her, shaking her head.

"I've missed that." Piper looked up to see Alex looking at her as though she had grown another head.

"You liked us arguing?"

"Yeah. It felt….real I think."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Can I make another appointment?" Piper chanced a small smile and Alex returned it.

"Sure. But what happens in shout club stays in shout club alright?" Alex pushed her fingers through her hair, pulling it over to one side, relieved that some of the tension had been released from the pressure valve.

"Totally. Do I do the weird induction ceremony with the chicken head now or do you need to get the gown first?" Piper grinned as she saw Alex relax.

"Oh, I need the gown and the ceremonial sword obviously."

"Obviously. It would be null and void without it."

They were quiet for a while, each with their own thoughts before Alex spoke again.

"I'm sorry Piper. For thinking I know best."

"I'm no better. I've spun you around like a yo-yo without any explanation half the time. You see a slightly older version of the woman you dated on the outside and have no idea what happened to the person inside until you take the lid off and a jack-in-the-box jumps out and punches you in the face before disappearing back inside. I forget that this is hard for you too."

"I just wish I knew how to help you through this."

"Just be there. You've been obsessing over the fact you're not a damned rape counsellor or a Lawyer or psychologist and you're too busy Googling how to get the key skills and answers that you're not doing what you're best at."

"Only because I want to help you."

"I don't need a rape counsellor, or a Lawyer. That's what I'm paying professionals for. They spent years learning how to be experts in their field and I don't want or expect you to know the first thing about either of those things."

"I've been trying to control everything and apparently that's the wrong thing to do, so-."

"Did Google tell you that?" Piper raised an eyebrow.

"No. Well, yes. But I also had a counselling session with someone who works with Julie in Queensboro last week."

"You had counselling?"

"Yeah. I wanted to understand how to help you."

"Wow…..OK….." Piper drank some more of her coffee and Alex continued.

"She said I needed to let you do things in your own way and on your own terms, to not make decisions for you. Give you space."

"So you did the exact opposite and broke up with me without talking to me about it?"

"Apparently, yes. Maybe I was focusing on the 'space' part a little too much hey?" Alex smiled, more sure she was on safe ground now. Piper moved her hand over to where Alex's was laying on her thigh and turned it over to slip her hand into the warm palm. Alex looked over to her to see Piper watching their hands fit together, feeling her running her thumb over the skin on her wrist.

"I'm not an exam Alex. There are no right and wrong answers. I'm not asking you to be an expert in anything. I just need you to be there for me. I might storm out when things get rough, but I'll always come back. When I want feeding probably. There's every likelihood that I'll lash out and say something I regret too. But there's nobody on this planet who is more experienced and capable of dealing with that, with me, than you…..Alex, look at me."

Pulling her glasses back over her eyes, Alex levelled with the deep oceans of blue that were laid bare before her now.

"I need you. YOU Alex. Not some expert. Not someone who treats me with kid gloves. Not someone who is frightened to say the wrong thing and is holding back on me. I need you to be real for me. Can you do that? Can you be Alex again?"

"Things can't be the same as they used to be Piper….We're different people now." Alex pulled her hand away and ran it along her jeans.

"I know. All I'm asking is that you're consistent and you're honest with me. That's all I need and I'll swim to you on the sandy beach. As long as I know it's not going anywhere, I can do it."

"OK. I guess I'm quite well qualified to be me. That will come with a side order of assholeness though…."

"You are and I only want the main dish if it comes with the side order." Piper smiled.

"I guess we've got to learn to trust each other again." Alex said after they'd been quiet for a while.

"Yeah. It's kind of a big word isn't it?"

"The biggest. You were right though. We need to take a step back and I'm sorry I wouldn't hear it when you tried to talk to me last time. It took a lot of thinking and that counselling session to realise I was making everything worse by blocking my ears to something I didn't want to hear. I wrote that letter because I was tired of fighting. It was cold…I know that."

"Friends?" Alex held her hand out to shake on it and Piper took it. "Yeah, friends."

Piper glanced over to the coffee table and was reminded about all the coffee she spilled earlier. "Let me get a cloth for that." She stood to walk into the kitchen and Alex followed her with their mugs. Piper ducked down to get a cloth from the cupboard and went to wipe up the luke-warm liquid when Alex caught her wrist.

"Hey….Thank you….For coming over here."

"Don't be mad at Nicky for kind of sort of telling me, will you?"

Alex chuckled. "I bet she's shitting herself right now that I'm going to tear down her front door."

"It might be like the look on her face when I was making her tell me where you were. Poor girl." Piper chuckled back before dropping her eyes to look at Alex's fingers, still loosely holding her wrist. The brunette was suddenly conscious of their skin touching and dropped her arm, stuffing her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. Piper cleared her throat to shake the moment away and walked over to the coffee table to wipe up the spillage before gathering her coat and putting her shoes back on. "I need to go. The court appearance is tomorrow at 11 and I need to get some rest or I'll be dead on my feet."

"Do you want me to come with you tomorrow?"

"No, it's alright. Thanks though. It's only so he can enter a plea. It will be quick and Steve's going to be there anyway, so I won't be on my own."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be OK. I'll let you know how it goes. Are you here tomorrow?"

"I will still be here tomorrow, yes…"

"And the day after?"

"I do need to join Bill in London this week. I was kind of hanging back to see how the court case went tomorrow before I made any decisions."

"Right. Yeah." She moved towards the door. "I'll let you know then."