Title: So It Goes
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: Chicago PD
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Chicago PD and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Ethan has been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: Hank Voight and his family try to cope with their struggles at home and work — and the dynamics those conflicting circumstances creat for their blended family in a time of transition. The series focuses on Voight, his sick and disabled son — and what's left of his family and their strained relationships, particularly that with Erin Lindsay and Jay Halstead as they work at establishing their own lives as a young couple.
This is a collection of one-shots/scenes using the characters as represented in the AU established in Interesting Dynamics. The chapters currently represent scenes happening in approximately S04 of the series or early 2017.
As I continue to update, they'll just provide one-shot snap shots into the characters' lives and likely some recasts of scenes from the show.
This is not a linear narrative with a beginning-middle-end. It's just scenes. It is generally set so it begins around the mid-point of Season 4 (or about January/February 2017) and may occasionally draw reference to (and have SPOILERS) from the series.
A notification is provided at the beginning of each chapter about where it happens in relation to the other chapters, if they are out of sequence. Chapters will be re-ordered semi-regularly (i.e. if you're reading this weeks or months after the chapter was originally posted, it's likely now in the right place, so just ignore the notification).
SPOILER ALERT: There are MAJOR spoilers in this collection from Interesting Dynamics, So This is Christmas, Scenes and Aftermath. This series also contains SPOILERS related to the finale of Season 3 of Chicago PD and will have occasionally spoilers from Season 4 of the show.
Jay allowed a little nod. "What you thinking for tomorrow?" he asked and tossed the booklet back in her lap.
Erin took it and returned it to the sleeve of the box and leaned over slightly to set the package on the stacking tables. Though, one of them should really likely get up and go put it in one of their suitcases. So it was out of Eth's sight and the surprise wasn't ruined, if he came barging in. But apparently they weren't in too big of hurry to do that.
"He's likely going to want to go back over to the parks," she allowed, as she settled against Jay again.
"Likely not a great idea," Jay conceded. "When we're going to have him out all Sunday night."
"Yea, exactly," she allowed. "So be prepared for battle."
Battles with Ethan were minor. More an annoyance than a battle. But like any kid his age, he usually managed to put on a bit of a pout when things didn't go the way he wanted them to go. But unlike most kids his age – he had Hank as a dad, who even though he had a bit of a soft touch with Ethan, he didn't tolerate too much bullshit. So Eth usually just put on enough of a show to let you know he wasn't thrilled with the situation. But he always seemed to reel it in when he started to feel the hammer coming down. Still, he might test that to a point with her and Jay and while they were on vacation. See what boundaries he could push. But he knew she could be "mean" too. And so could Jay. And beyond that there was homework in the suite and Dad a FaceTime call away. So he'd only test the waters of moodiness so much. They'd just have to ride it out.
Jay rubbed at the material of the tshirt she'd pulled over her bikini top. Even it wasn't keeping her flesh from goosing along her arms – and he must've felt it in the firm, rubs he was doing along the length of her arm, holding her a bit closer to him.
"We gonna do just a down-day? Hang out by the pool?" he proposed.
It sounded decent enough to her. The pool there looked nice. They had cabanas and loungers. There was a bar and café nearby. There was poolside service for drinks and food. She could easily spend an afternoon going between sunbathing and reading and cooling down in the water. That actually sounded a lot more like a vacation to her than powering through the theme parks.
But "That's likely what we'll end up doing on Sunday until we go over to Disney," she conceded, straining in her own mind how to get all the pieces to fit.
Jay made a small sound of acknowledgement. "Could take him over to Disney Springs," he suggested – without much enthusiasm. "Saw the dinosaur restaurant he's been going off about in the maze. And the Lego store. Makes Chicago's look like a Kwik-E-Mart."
"He keeps mentioning the Planet Hollywood too," she muttered. "I think it's over there too. I think."
"Yea," he allowed. "Lunch. Likely put in a couple hours. More if he wanted to walk around."
"He will," Erin mumbled. And that wasn't her idea of a vacation day – or a shopping destination. She knew it definitely wasn't Jay's either. Though, she knew he'd likely humor Eth in the Lego store. But Jay had already been preaching at her baby brother the stupidity of paying ridiculous theme park prices for things he could buy at home or online. So, she didn't imagine he'd be letting Eth walk out of that store with anything if they did go over there. And that was definitely a realm she'd relinquished to Jay. He could manage Ethan's Lego obsession all he wanted.
But he just shrugged. "Between that and maybe taking him over to do the mini-golf on City Walk. We'd put in a day."
Erin sighed and leaned her cheekbone against her hand while she thought about that. She just enjoyed his hands working on keeping her warm. He was good about that. For his rough exterior – Jay was a decent person to fill space with. A good person to just watch TV with or lean against while reading a book or fiddling on your phone. A cuddler without meaning to be. Just quiet, comforting support. Just there. She liked that about him. About their relationship. It was one of the easier parts of it. But the ease of that sort of made the harder and more complicated elements of it worth it.
"Might be kind of a waste of a day," she said.
He shrugged a little under her. "Our Universal tickets are technically four days. Could just take it easy during the day and go over for a few hours in the evening," he said.
"And that might a waste of a day on the tickets," she added and caught his eyes. But his clearly communicated that ball was now in her court to put forward a better proposal. "You think a beach day would be much of a down-day for him?" she asked.
Jay let out a breath and stared across the small room into the kitchen area for a long moment. "Not if we went over to the Space Coast," he said.
They'd talked about trying to do the Space Center and Cocoa Beach – or some beach over there and possibly some state reserve wildlife drive that you were supposed to be able to see gators and manatees on – in the same day. It definitely wasn't a down-day. It was likely an entirely unrealistic day even if they did attempt it.
"Are you going to be heartbroken if we don't get to the Space Center?" she asked.
He made another sound of consideration and gazed straight ahead again. "I'd survive."
She allowed a thin smile at that. He was such a … she didn't know … a husband, a dad … already. It very rarely was about him. Or what he wanted. And sometimes she felt – she wished – he'd press harder for the things he wanted. That he spoke up a bit more in the day-to-day and not just when he reached his frustration or annoyance point. Usually with her and their relationship and how he thought she interacted with it – or him – versus how he thought she should interact with it or him. Which she might've been willing to do if he'd expressed in the first place that was what his expectation was.
But Jay wasn't so great at talking about his feelings. Or his baggage. With her. Or with anyone. He was getting better. Slowly. With time. And likely with some of the therapy he was going to. To try to be a better man and husband – and to prepare himself to be a better father, he claimed. To learn how to be. So he wouldn't end up making mistakes his dad had made. Or that he saw his brother making in his relationships and life. Or even things he disagreed with in how Hank parented. But he still had a long way to go.
She supposed they both did. Neither of them were great experts on relationships – especially of the long-term variety. And neither of them were particularly good about talking about emotions or feelings. She thought she was a bit better at expressing her wants and needs in the relationship, though. Jay sometimes seemed to expect her to just read his mind. Or he'd wait until he spat them out at her like it should've been completely obvious to her and she was retarded for not knowing.
They were making progress, though. Slow and steady. Even though they both regularly got a little annoyed and pissed off with each other. But she supposed that's another part of where living in Hank and Camille's house as a teen had taught her what relationships really looked like. Hank and Camille were regularly annoyed and pissed off at each other too. They fought. They yelled. They disagreed. They took time outs. And then they worked it out. They stuck it out. And despite it all – the rough parts – they still loved each other. Hank still loved her even now. He'd actually consistently seemed like he was missing large pieces of him since she'd been gone. And sometimes Erin wondered how even now – after having Jay in her life for a few years – if she'd feel the same. Because sometimes she had trouble imagining anymore what her life would look like if she hadn't had his help and support and love and friendship over the past few years.
She reached to rub her thumb along his already-growing vacation beard that Charlie had taken such a liking to.
"Would you be more disappointed about missing the Space Center or missing some of the attractions you want to do in Universal?" she put to him gently.
Because Jay had a list. He hadn't labeled them as must-dos either. But he had expressed some actual interest – which with him was him just passingly noting certain rides and attractions even existed. And Harry Potter and Jurassic Park hadn't been on that list. But a whole host of other ones had. Back to the Future and Men in Black and Jaws and Terminator and ET and some sort of Mother Nature Disaster type ride. There'd been some expressed interest in some of the shows about horror make-up and special effects too. And the exhibit halls of props and memorabilia. Really, when you got down to it and added up everything that all of them wouldn't mind doing, they pretty much wanted to see nearly everything in the two parks to varying degrees. But they both knew they weren't going to get to everything – not even just at Universal.
His eyes briefly flickered with some consideration of that question but then he only shrugged at her. "Whatever you think Eth cares about more."
"It's not just Ethan's trip," she reminded him.
And she'd keep reminding him all week. And reminding him it wasn't just her trip either. He wasn't just there for the ride. He got to pick and choose things too. He got to have priorities. He just needed to express them. And it was OK if there was something he really wanted to do that her and Ethan maybe didn't. Because she knew he was tolerating a lot of things that the two of them wanted to do that weren't at the top of his list either.
"It's not a big deal," he finally said. "Sure we'll be back someday."
She gazed at him, raising her eyebrow at that. "We will be?"
He shrugged. "Maybe. Likely? In ten or fifteen years."
And she felt a smile tug softly at the corners of her mouth at that. At the quiet implication of it. That he'd likely been thinking the same as her that day with Ethan. And as they saw other families with their kids wandering the park. That even though this wasn't either of their definitions of a vacation, it was the kind of destination that threw family and kids in your face. And something about it too, made her think that even though she could think of lots of other places she'd want to go and things she wanted to do, she could still somehow see herself – see them – as the kind of parents who would scrimp and save so that eventually, when the time was right, they could take their family on this trip. So that they could have their own little person looking wide-eyed at the dinosaurs or the Star Wars characters or a Wizarding World. Or whatever it was that some person they'd created had become obsessed with. Or with whatever was trendy in popular culture ten or fifteen years down the road when they'd be officially middle aged and grossly out-of-touch and embarrassing parents rather than the "cool" older siblings who knew about all the trendy "retro" stuff from waaaaay back in the '80s and the '90s.
And there was something nice thinking about that. At looking around at the other families and feeling like maybe one day they'd have that. And hopefully their kid would be one of the ones like Ethan – the amazed and excited kid who was soaking it all up. Rather than one of the ones looking bored out of their skulls to be their and like they'd entirely been brought to some place of torture outside of their own free will.
She'd felt it, though. The momentary twinges of sadness intermixed with realization during the day. And the sort of pride in themselves too that they had a kid who was excited and mostly behaved. And that the moments that were challenging – so far they were handling it. That they could handle it. They would. Just like they always did. And that maybe they were getting to the point that they could … or should … start having more concrete discussions about all of that again. Ones that went beyond the round-about talk of their never being a "right time" to start a family – but that this might definitely not be the right time. But maybe it was. Or as right as it ever could be. Or at least a good time to start talking about it again. To try to figure out where they were at. Or where they might be nine-months or a year from now.
Because a lot could change in a year. They both knew that.
"Things won't look the same ten or fifteen years from now," she stated the obvious.
But Jay shrugged again. "I think the Space Coast will be a busy day," he provided, still not answering her question original question and not wading into the territory they'd skirted against.
Because it probably wasn't the time or place to talk about it. Now this week. And maybe not next when they got back. Not as they neared her birthday. Neared the death of Nadia. Neared the weekend where she would've – they would've – gotten themselves pregnant last year. But the look on his face said he'd seen her smile. That he'd been feeling it too. And he felt the itch to talk about it as well. To … get on with their lives. To keep making them the way they wanted them. To try to get them to look the way they wanted them to look. Or at least to try to live them on their own terms.
And maybe that answered both of her questions – responded to her thoughts – more than enough. For now.
"Really, the Space Center will probably take the whole day," Jay offered. "We'll likely need a second day if we want to do the beach or the reserve. And we aren't going to have time for two days over there."
She gave a little nod. Getting back on topic. Adjusting her mind to deal with the situation at hand. To make the memories they had in that moment. To spend the time together in a different way than they did in the day-to-day. And to see where that took them. It was draining. But she thought … maybe it was taking them in a direction they were meant to be going. Shifting gears.
And, at least he understood that some of the plans they discussed for what he hoped to do over on the Space Coast weren't realistic – not as a day trip and not in a schedule that didn't really allow two days there. But it still didn't provide much clarity on where the visit was in terms of priority to Jay. Though, she got the sense that the Space Center clearly ranked higher than the beach on that coast or the wildlife drive – to him. She might feel differently on the Eth part. And Ethan might feel differently on the opportunity to see an alligator part. But it wasn't just their trip. Not just their vacation. It wasn't only their hopes and wants and needs that mattered in any of this. And it wasn't them who should only be catered to.
"What about Daytona?" Erin suggested.
Jay just made a noise. That likely confirmed that it really wasn't up the list. And Ethan hadn't repeatedly emphasized it. So they'd just sort of leave that one in the background.
"OK. What about going over to the Gulf Coast?" she suggested instead. "That area with the beaches that are supposed to have shark teeth fossils?"
"It'd be about two-ish hours each way," Jay provided flatly.
Erin let out her own breath as she reassessed that again. That might be a long day for Ethan if he was having to spend that much time in the car.
And maybe that's where Jay's plan of just doing something around the city made sense. That maybe it made sense to use one of the days on their Universal tickets to just go in for the evening. Because they'd really only been planning to spend two or three days at Universal anyway. Even though now it was pretty clear that they'd have to spend three if they wanted to see anything beyond Jurassic Park and Harry Potter. And even with that third day, all the other attractions that weren't dinosaurs or wizards – they were likely just going to scratch the surface. Using the fourth ticket day – even if it was just an evening – might let them see some of the things they might otherwise not get to.
And, if she was being honest with herself and about everyone's limitations, she didn't think she'd want to spend more than the about the six hours they were in the park that morning in the parks at a time anyway.
Maybe going an evening when it was a bit cooler and the crowds would supposedly be lighter would be a reasonable use of that extra day they had on the tickets. See what they could do in three or four hours. Try to hit some of the things that might be lower priorities. Maybe consider staying for the fireworks, depending on how Ethan was doing. That might be realistic if they were going to just be sleeping in and having a pool day on Sunday until they went over to Disney anyway. And it was only about a 15-minute walk from the exit of the parks to their hotel room anyway. It wouldn't be that late of night if they stayed for the Universal's closing fireworks. It might be the best course of action. The smartest.
But she still muttered, "He keeps talking about those fossils." She shifted her eyes back to Jay. "About finding one for Al."
"Yea …," Jay acknowledged sadly.
Somehow Eth had gotten in his head that his quasi-uncle-godfather needed a shark tooth fossil for one of the many leather bracelets he had on his wrist – most, if not all, which had been made by Lexi. He'd spouted off about shark teeth being symbols of protections and survival and healing and moving forward in life. And how it's important for healing and a good totem animal. That he thought Al – his godfather – needed that right now. And that Lexi would want that for him too. And that if Alvin wore it on one of her bracelets, maybe it'd help him remember that.
He was such a weird little guy. But so … sometimes Erin just didn't know where he came from or how he existed. What and who it was that had emerged out of that broken body that had been left on the ground after the collision. Or if maybe that was just the Ethan they'd always had and hadn't yet known. And their family's world had needed to be set aflame to get this little creature to rise out of the ashes and somehow … made all of them be better. Or at least want to try to be better. For themselves and for others. And for him.
What she did know, though, was that it might've been easier to shoot down the shark tooth day if Ethan hadn't attached Lexi to it and to Alvin and to all that hopeful contribution to try to help healing in that family when he knew – understood and still felt – how much that kind of loss did. When he was – they all were – still struggling to come out of the end of that tunnel on their own. And she didn't think it was exactly ever the kind of tunnel you emerged from. It wasn't one that had a light at the end of it. You just got better at seeing through the dark and using your other senses to slowly crawl your way through the mud and muck.
So Eth had made it a hell of a lot harder to cast aside shark teeth as a beach day to an "if we have time" item on their vacation list. The thing was, now they needed to find the time – make the time – for it. And it wasn't exactly like those beaches were right next door. It was across the state. Even if it was a narrow one and they were smack in the middle of it. Two hours – it was a long drive on limited time and with a kid who ran out of steam quickly and needed space to stretch and rest regularly.
Jay let out a little sound of his own, though, and lulled his head back, exposing his neck in an appealing way. He stared at the ceiling while Erin stared at his Adam's apple. She'd been thinking about leaning in to kiss it. Or suck it. To maybe stop talking about every day and minute and detail of this vacation – and enjoy it in the moment, on their own terms.
But then he righted himself, shaking his head.
"Let's just see how the rest of today plays out," he said. "See how he sleeps through the night. When he's even on the go in the morning."
"Yea …," Erin acknowledged with her own bit of weak disappointment.
"At least today's proven we're completely fucked with planning," Jay offered at her tone. "We'll just have to fake it until we make it."
"As usual," Erin muttered and slouched her shoulder against the couch.
Sometimes that seemed like a lot of their life and relationship was. But somehow it seemed to work for them. For the most part. And maybe she liked it. Things never worked out the way she planned them anyways. Just … going with it. Sometimes that just felt more comfortable. Figuring it out. At least she had someone to figure it out with now. At least things seemed to … make sense when it was Jay she was trying to figure things out with. Getting pieces to fit together the best they could with the pieces they had.
Jay reached and found her hand, gripping at it a bit. "Looks like you should've taken a nap while I was out too," he offered.
She gave him a thin smile. "I rested."
He eyed her. "Rested or screwed around on your phone?" he put to her. Because he always was giving her shit about her phone. Like she was on hers more than he was on his – when he had to Google everything and than some. She wondered what he did before Google and smartphones existed. If beyond playing his angry-loner videogames, if he'd had his nose stuck in the family encyclopedia sets. Though, he'd argued that was more Will, who'd always been a better student than him. But he'd had to be – because he wasn't much of an athlete. And Will had needed to excel at something to become his father's favorite son – if being the oldest wasn't enough.
Erin just ignored his little jab, though. She rested her head in the crook of his neck. "I looked up some things about the rides in the Harry Potter area," she admitted.
"And?" Jay asked, holding her a bit more firmly.
"The height restriction on the Dueling Dragons is the same as the one today. So those two rides are likely out," she muttered.
He grunted. "Maybe he'll have built up his confidence a bit between now and … Tuesday, Wednesday … whenever we do that."
"I hope so," she allowed. "Because the one ride. The one in Hogwarts, it's not a coaster, but the harness looks similar to the one on Flying Dinosaur. I'm afraid he'll freak out. Won't get on."
Jay made a small sound and gripped at her shoulder. "So, we don't mention that to him. We let him see for himself. Let him make the decision on if he wants to sit out. And we just don't pressure him or make a big deal of it if he does."
She let out a quiet sigh at that and his hand gripped her a bit tighter. "Erin, he can handle standing alone for five minutes," he told her firmly. "We'll go on it and then meet up with him after."
"I just … I'd really hoped to get to do the rides with him," she admitted. "I didn't think he'd be … so nervous about them. I should've."
The dark. The jarring movements. The weakness in his legs. His acute knowledged that he had brain damage and that he had lesions all over his brain and spine from the M.S. The scar issue pressing against his optical nerve and how he struggled in low light and how he didn't see things in his peripheral vision well. How he got headaches. And when he had hallucinations they were usually the dark, shadowy figures at night. Then just add in his dad's repeated mantra about rollercoasters and rides. Even if he'd had his friends telling him it'd be fine and even if they'd been egging him on a little – they should've done more to prepare him and to make sure he was ready for the rides. They should've known that no matter what anyone else said to him – ultimately with Ethan, his dad's words were gospel. And they should've done repeated checks to see where he was at. Or at least they shouldn't have picked a ride consistently ranked as one of the "best" and hence scariest rollercoasters in the United States at the moment as Ethan's first ever amusement park ride.
"They aren't that bad," Jay nodded against the crown of her head. "He's just not used to theme park rides. He'll be a pro by the end of the week."
"Or he'll have really decided he's not interested in rides by the end of the week," she muttered. And that might mean that in Harry Potter land they just ended up seeing the few shows, which she thought Eth might find a little tacky and juvenile (and she didn't doubt her and Jay would too). Though, hopefully the way the area of the parks looked – at least from the pictures – would make up for anything they did or didn't do. And the Butterbeer.
"He wants to go back to do the rest of the Jurassic Park rides tonight," Jay tried – like that might be where their chance at redemption and preparation lay. She just made a vague sound of acknowledgement. "What's the intensity of the rest of the rides at Harry Potter supposed to be like?" he asked.
Erin let out a slow breath. "Gringotts … the vault … it's supposed to be intense. But it's just lap bars like the river raft, so hopefully he'll try it."
Jay made a small sound of agreement.
"The Hippogriff, it's a coaster but just lap bars too. I think it'd be a lot like the amber mine coaster, if we go back tonight. Gringotts is probably a similar idea to Indominus."
Jay shrugged. "So, if he's doing OK, we go back. We let him go on those rides. Keep working on rebuilding his confidence. And he'll be fine."
She allowed another quiet noise. One that probably sounded too much like Hank's grunts. But she supposed in a lot of ways, that'd been how she'd been taught to communicate. Or not communicate. And she really didn't know what more to say about the situation anyway. It was on the fake it until they made it list. And they'd just have to see how it went.
"He's just not used to rides," Jay tried to assure. "We made a dumb choice for his first coaster. That's all."
"Yea …," she acknowledged. That was likely an understatement. And she was regretting that lack of foresight they'd had in the moment.
It was actually amazing they didn't have to deal with a bladder issue or bruising out of Eth after the Flying Dinosaur. They should've known better.
Hank was likely going to have more than a few things to say about that if Eth forgot about his filter and shared every detail of their day with his dad.
But at the same time, Erin was also tempted to go on that ride again. She'd actually be pretty interested in trying it at night if the line wasn't too long. It'd likely be a completely different experience in the low-lighting of the evening. And, they could just dump Ethan in one of the gift shops while they did it. So they didn't have to wait for him humming-and-hahing over how he was going to spend his allowance.
"Hank started replying to the texts," she allowed after just resting against Jay for a while. Maybe he was right. She should've shut her eyes for a bit. But she wasn't much of a napper and this felt nice – restful – now anyway. "Had a bit of a back-and-forth with him."
Jay nodded. "He like the pics?"
She made an amused sound. "Yea," she acknowledged. "I think so. He basically just said 'Camille'. But I guess that says it all. He's such a weird mix of both of them."
"Think that's kind of what happens," Jay said, his fingers tracing along each of hers.
"Yea …," Erin allowed. "It's just … the nature versus nurture we've talked about with kids and parents and genetics. I still … amazes me, I guess. He only had her in his life for so long. He remembers so little about her. But he has these little quirks that are so her. This obsessive, encyclopedic knowledge about … weird things."
"I'd rank it as weirder to be obsessive about fish than to be obsessive about dinosaurs," Jay teased.
Erin smiled up at him but her eyes flickered with a bit of sadness. "Camille would've loved to be here," she said. For Ethan and Jurassic Park - and for Harry Potter.
"Think she would've dragged Voight down here?" Jay asked.
Erin smiled a bit at that and shook her head. "Maybe," she conceded. "They liked their trips to Myrtle Beach. I could see her pushing for a trip here instead. But likely stay on the coast and just do a day at the theme parks."
"How long as Harry Potter been open?" Jay asked, giving her a glance. "She know about it?"
Erin made a quiet amused sound. "Yea," she acknowledged. "She knew about it. It was announced years before it opened. She talked about going. All of us. That it'd be a family vacation that I'd actually agree to go on with them."
Jay made an amused noise. "Because it wasn't in a tent?"
She smiled a bit. "Likely," she acknowledged. "But knowing Hank and Camille – they still would've found a way to make this vacation destination include camping. Or at least fishing."
"Lots of charters on the coast," Jay allowed.
She made a sound of acknowledgement. "The park had just opened when she died," she shrugged.
And it sort of made her sad. Or really made her sad. And it wasn't something she had really thought about or remembered until she started working on planning the trip for Ethan. And she realized that this might've been – it should've been – something that Camille had planned for him. And that'd been something that had been taken away from her – and from Ethan, and from all of them – too.
"It's actually pretty fucking impressive how Ethan retains information," Jay said quietly after they'd sat there in a solemn silence. One that Erin was glad didn't go on too long, because she didn't want the trip to be sad. Even though she did want Ethan to know how much his mom would've loved to have this moment. That she wished he could remember how silly and giddy Camille could be when the new books or movies came out and she got to share them with them. As it was, she didn't even get to see the last two movies – let alone share this experience with them. Though, Erin was sure she must've seen news coverage about the opening of the park. Just barely.
But her memories of Camille in that period were so much of a blur. She wasn't living at home by then. She was on patrol and she knew she was on night shift.
She knew Hank and Justin were fighting – but from fifteen onward all the two of them did was fight. But Justin had been calling her and complaining about what a hard-ass his dad was being. How he'd taken away the keys and wasn't letting him borrow the car or go out with friends when it was summer vacation. How he was on his ass about how he was spending his day and how he should be working a summer job and going to his little brother's Little League games and making so many of his privileges in the house contingent on those variables.
She knew she must've been to some of Eth's games and practices – going over before heading into shift and sitting in the bleachers with Camille to talk rather than watch six and seven year olds play something that hardly resembled baseball. She knew Hank had been working some case then that had him on a lot of overnight surveillance – sometimes for days at a time. And he wasn't always there. And it meant that Camille was the one stuck enforcing some of Hank's rules for Justin – which would only cause further tension between everyone. And would ultimately mean that Hank and Camille were likely having words when he was home too. Because she hated playing the bad cop on his behalf.
Erin knew she must've been over for dinner in June and July. She knew Hank likely grilled them something. And that she probably sat on the porch swing with Hank or Camille. That if it wasn't too late and it was a nice evening that Ethan likely would've been digging in his sandbox or soaking it down with a hose – creating landscapes for his dinosaurs and construction equipment.
She knew that if it was Hank sitting with her, she likely vented about work and some of the things she was seeing and dealing with on the job. Because summers in Chicago and the sort of things that popped when you were a beat cop were different than what you had to deal with during the rest of the year. She didn't know what she would've talked about with Camille. Probably any plans either of them had for that summer or whatever was going on with the fish in Lake Michigan that year. Or what either of them was reading or watching or what concerts or music festivals Erin was hoping she might have the time off work and the extra income to get to. And Camille likely prodded about if she was seeing anyone and who she was hanging out with in her free-time and if she was taking care of herself. And Erin would guess that the Wizarding World of Harry Potter had likely come up in some of that small talk but she didn't remember it.
The biggest thing she remembered from those weeks leading up to her death was Ethan's birthday party. She remembered how it was Ethan's first – and likely only – themed party. One that was purposely themed. She remembered going out with Camille to get some of the decorations and goodies for it. She remembered helping with the piñata. And she remembered teasing Hank so much while he made those plaster dinosaur bones to bury in the sandbox. And she remembered the day. The party. And just how happy and normal her family felt back then.
She thought she must've been over for Independence Day. But maybe not. Because she might've been scheduled or picked up a shift to get the extra pay. But she couldn't remember any of it. Maybe it was just … too much of their routine. The usual. The barbecue and strawberry shortcake and water balloons in the back alley with other families on the block and the trip down to the lakeshore to watch the fireworks. Maybe it all just blended in to every other year that nothing about it stood out for her to latch onto if she was there or not.
Just like she couldn't pinpoint how many times she'd been over in July or what exactly her and Camille had talked about during those visit. But she did know that on the last visit, she'd just dropped in and Hank wasn't there and Justin was in a snit and a stand-off with his mom and Ethan was being hyperactive. And Erin hadn't stayed long. And she hadn't given Camille a hug when she'd left. Camille was giving Justin a stare down at the time and hadn't moved to give her one either. Though she'd acknowledged she was leaving but it'd just been with a, "We'll see you on Sunday?" And Erin had said yes.
And she had. Or at least she saw what was left of her – in those very early hours of Sunday morning while she also watched Hank near crumple in shock and need to be dragged away by two firefighters and another cop as he tried to determine if the lump of flesh on the road that was Ethan was still a living, breathing human being.
"The stuff he was spouting off today…" Jay offered quietly again, pulling her away from the memories. Bringing her back to the current reality. Such as it was.
"I know …," Erin said, letting out a slow breath.
Ethan had moments of awkwardness and shyness that day. She could tell that he was trying to figure out how to interact with the park and with that many people around him. And how to navigate around them with his crutches. His own self-consciousness about his movements and his visible scars and injuries. And how to interact with the overly-friendly staff at the parks and in the lines. The "actors" at the various attractions.
But then after he started seeing the dinosaurs that filter of his dropped. The shyness and self-consciousness moved into the background and he'd gone off on his tangents. He'd had something to say about every dinosaur they saw. He had a commentary about every exhibit. He was constant with his little references to the movies. All these things he picked up on in the park that they'd missed. All these bits and pieces of information about what they were seeing. The scientific and biologically accuracy – or inaccuracy – of every attraction.
He'd just been mind-boggled. And loved it all with these big saucer eyes and motoring mouth. Even if some of it had been pure fantasy.
It'd been this complete over-stimulation for Ethan, which was likely part of why he'd crashed so hard – even though he didn't want to – when they'd removed him from the environment.
It was something else they'd talked about before, though. How Ethan's mind worked – and didn't work. The strangeness of brain injury – and the brain. How it stored information and memories. How the brain tried to process that – especially in the face of trauma. The illusions it created for you and the false memories. The ways it tried to protect you and the ways it failed you. Jay and her both had some sense of that in their own experiences. Their own baggage and PTSD and fractured childhoods. But with Ethan it was different.
It was frustrating and sad. That how he learned and retained information now could be so affected. That he struggled academically. That so much of his memory around the days and weeks and months and even years around the collision were frayed or non-existent.
That it meant that his little boy brain held very few in terms of real memories of his mother. The ones that existed weren't his own. Only very few were. The ones he had were stories told to him on repeat. Memories boxes and photos and videos shown to him. It was the creation of a woman that he'd never really gotten to know but got toted at him as his mother. Because Camille so very much was. Even now. Still. She always would be. And they tried so hard to make sure he knew that. So his brain still had this image of her and these memories of her – even though they weren't entirely there.
But even with all that missing – Camille, his mother just gone - somehow all his random little boy dinosaur information got retained. It'd survived. And somehow when he was handed new information in those areas he was able to absorb it and retain it in a way he couldn't other things. It was likely because a lot of it was some sort of pre-existing memory buried in there that they were just bringing out. That it all had to do with where and how his brain was damaged and where and how the brain stored different kinds of information versus different kinds of memory.
So Ethan got dinosaurs but he didn't get his mom. Even though his love for dinosaurs was so much a gift his mom had given him as a little boy. And the way he talked about them and spewed off the information – he sounded so much like Camille sometimes that it almost felt like she was in the room. Just replace the dinosaurs with fish, and it was her. All her. So much that it hurt some days.
"We get him to the shark beach, and he finds one of those fossils, he's going to think he's an actual paleontologist," Jay said quietly.
She smiled against his chest. "I know," she allowed.
And some how that made her feel really happy. She knew that it might be some other sort of fantasy land they were living in if they actually thought Eth was going to manage to find one of these supposedly easy to spot fossils. But, she knew he'd just … she didn't even know. But she knew it would be an experience that would be imprinted on him. That it was something that he'd carry with him for a long time. Maybe forever. And she wanted to be a part of that. She wanted to make it a reality for him.
"You think Hank will ever actually take him to the Badlands? A dig site?" Jay asked, gazing down at her.
She shrugged a little. "I think it's more likely than him having ever brought him here," she allowed.
"He should take him," Jay said flatly.
Erin made a small noise of agreement. "He'd likely like to. It's a time thing."
"He should make time," Jay put a little more forcibly.
Erin made another sound at that and looked up at him. "He's doing a lot better at making time anymore, Jay," she said.
And he was. There'd been periods in her teens and then after she was out of the house, that Hank wasn't around much. And it created arguments between him and Camille. Big ones. Job, city, civic responsibility, and family. How that list should go and how the lines blurred together in defining where one ended and the other began in terms of priorities and necessities and attention.
There'd definitely been a period where Hank had taken his eye off his family – his children – after Camille was gone. And it'd had repercussions for all of them. Hank knew that too. She knew he felt guilt about it. And failure. Even though he wasn't one to dwell too much on the past or discuss it. But they had. In therapy. They'd opened up the skeletons in the closet and they'd had some frank – though mediated – words with each other.
But even outside of that, Erin knew Hank had made strides toward being a family man again – toward putting more and more of his attention there and keeping his eyes on his son – since Ethan had come home and been diagnosed.
He wasn't doing tough love with Ethan. But he also was keeping him on a very short leash. Erin could see the nervousness in him. Especially now, having lost Justin. He'd lost so much. He wasn't going to lose anymore when there was always this frightening looming possibility that with Ethan's compromised immune system and fragile health and susceptibility to some pretty scary illnesses and infections. Sometimes it felt like there was a constant anvil hovering over their heads and they were just waiting for it to fall on top of them. And Erin had seen what had happened when Hank lost Justin. She wasn't sure he – or any of them – would survive another loss if it came to that.
She'd almost been surprised Hank had actually allowed her to take Ethan on this trip. Because he was so protective of his little boy. Because he did make the time and did give him the attention and the care. Because she saw how he reached out to give Ethan the physical attention and comfort in a very different way than he'd ever offered to her or Justin.
But Hank likely realized that all of them needed this time too. That it was another way of making time – and giving time. And that part of that was taking time for himself – and his sanity. And letting him divert his time and attention strictly to his job for a while – without Ethan there needing him each night and on weekends, or the school calling him during the day. And letting him have the extra time to keep working at establishing and developing his relationship with his grandson and with Olive.
There were lots of ways Hank needed the time and gave his time. And decisions he had to make about how to use his time. And she supposed she was understanding that when all that was taken into account it made it hard for him to find the time to take Ethan to Wyoming or Montana or South Dakota or wherever to look for dinosaur bones with Ethan. And she thought Jay understood it too. That he got it. That he knew eventually he'd have to make choices about his time and commitments and responsibilities too.
Still, she hoped Hank would find that time too. And she thought he'd likely like it. To have that moment with Ethan. And to watch the little boy who he'd built a sandbox with dinosaur bones to dig up now sit in an ultimate sandbox trying to discover the same thing. The fact that it would likely turn into the kind of fishing and camping trip that Hank favored as an actual vacation would only make it better for them.
"It's just …," Jay sighed and adjusted his chin to rest against her head again, stroking a little at her hair. "I know Eth thinks he wants to be in CPD, even as a civilian and Voight is encouraging all this robotics and programming stuff. And I get why he's doing that. I know Eth seems to have a bit of an aptitude with some of it. But then days like today …," Jay said and moved to find her eyes and she gazed into his – they were so urgent and honest "… just you saw how he lit up today?"
She smiled and nodded. "Yea," she agreed.
"And he just knows so much of this shit. And Ethan … I don't know … that kind of slow, repetitive work … obsessively detailed … I can see him doing it. And if it makes him light up like today? Then … I don't know … maybe that's what we should be pushing and encouraging. Not CPD or robotics or whatever."
Erin smiled gently at him and shrugged. "I know," she agreed. "Hank knows too."
It's why Hank argued with Iggy's to let Ethan stream into, to try, the Latin and the Earth Sciences. So he could learn history and language and geology and biology and start exploring that area more. Even if it might be hard for him at the start. Or maybe it would all the way through. Or maybe he'd change his mind after taking the introductory courses and they'd be going in next year and trying to reroute his path through his high school courses. But at least he'd have the opportunity to try.
And it was why they all drove back-and-forth to play Ethan's taxi to the Museum Club. That they took him each Wednesday. And if he wanted to go to a weekend or evening program that was being offered to the kids, they didn't put up a fight. It was why Hank had bought a family membership to all the fucking museums in the city – so they could go over there for just an hour and not feel guilty about it. So Ethan could look at the dinosaurs or the planets or the rocks or the fish. And so he could tell them about it all again. Or try to educate Henry on all the little details. It was why Hank watched nearly as many documentaries as Jay – on topics he might not be overly interested in. It was why he kept taking Ethan to Lake Geneva for fucking hikes in the woods and to sit in an ice shack while his son spouted off a fucking ecology lesson about the trees and plants and rocks and animals and fish in the region. A lesson that her and Jay had received up at the cabin too and that Ethan was itching to give them again that summer. It was why Hank had fucking outdoors man and National Geographic magazines coming in the mail and sitting in the letter rack next to the breakfast table, just waiting for his son to pull them out each morning while he picked at his eggs or soggy cereal and paged through the pages over and over again. It was the same reason why Hank had already ordered that season's brochures for the various state parks, reserves and camp grounds within a couple hours' driving distance of the city and was nitpicking ones to take a few weekend-getaways with his son, focusing on places with fishing and caves and rock formations that he thought would grab Ethan's attention and imagination. And it was why they were doing this whole trip now – that Hank had relented, they all had – so Ethan could again go to the week-long Field Museum summer camp in August and get to talk to museum technicians and scientists and paleontologists and biologists and archeologists and marine biologists and astronomers who might capture for him who he was – and who he was meant to be – rather than another generation of Voights in the Blue. To let him be his mother's son. The scientist. The biologist. Or with Ethan … maybe that'd be the geologist or paleontologist. Or who really knew. But Erin knew whatever it was, they were all just trying to help him get there.
Including Jay. Who had no reason to. Who could've easily turned his back on it. He could've shelved their relationship. Or kept his distance from Ethan. He could've been uninvolved. But he wasn't. And he didn't act like he wanted to either.
Erin stroked at his cheek and leaned in for a brief kiss. He accepted it – gently – but looked at her like he was a little surprised when she backed away and gazed at him.
"I know you don't like me telling you this," she admitted. "But you're good with him."
He just gazed at her and did that shrug that he always did. "He's easy," he provided in his standardized answer.
"He's not," Erin said.
"He is," Jay nodded at her a bit more firmly. "Ethan's just a kid. He's a nice, easy-going kid. It's … his health that's hard. And it's manageable."
"It's frustrating," she said.
Jay shrugged. "I'd take a kid with some frustrating health issues over some of the spoiled brats we saw today."
She made and amused noise and smiled. "Yea," she agreed.
She leaned in for another short kiss. This one lingered a bit longer and she shuffled a little closer to him, her legs moving to drape and rest across his lap and his arm curling up her back more as he leaned into her lips.
Part of her wanted to tell him – again – that she knew, she could see, he was going to be a great father. That she trusted him with that. That watching him with Ethan made her feel that even for all her failings, she knew that they'd be able to raise and have a family together – because he'd be so much better at it than her. And that he'd be so much better at it than he thought he would be. That he was patient and giving and kind and sacrificing in his own ways – even if that wasn't what he'd seen or learned at home from his own father. But she also knew he didn't like her telling him that, even though she felt like he needed his own confidence booster and being told. Even though she was having twinges about opening that discussion with him again about the if and when and how they were going to actively start trying to make their own family. To be parents.
But rather than say any of that, she just made the move. She decided to be the on to push forward the initiation. And as they kissed, she shifted her position, and straddled him, settling into his lap. She smiled at him, as he looked up at her with eager eyes but with that quiet question of if this was a good idea and if she actually wanted to take the risk. But the way his hands settled against he hips, holding her, she knew he wanted to just as much as her. And she leaned back in to find his mouth again – and he eagerly opened his lips to her. And he pulled her a bit more firmly against him.
They kissed. The blanket falling away from her waist and finally showing off her bikini bottoms to him. And he clearly wanted to see more – or at least feel more of her skin. His fingers trailing up under tshirt and tracing across the skin of her stomach in ways that caused gooseflesh that wasn't related to the A/C in the suite to pop up there. For anticipatory shivers to shoot down her back.
But they'd barely had the chance to deepen the kiss. To do much of anything. To enjoy that anticipation or to see where it'd lead. Jay hadn't even had his chance to make his move – to flip her and for them to try to find anything that resembled a comfortable position to make out on the cramped little couch. Because there was Ethan's voice outside the sliding door, "Can I come in?" he asked a little unsurely – a clear indication that he'd likely caught a glimpse of what was going on in there through the crack Jay had left it open – and already knew the answer.
Their kiss stopped. Both of them letting out a not-so quiet sound of frustration. Their foreheads resting against each other's.
"We're taking some private time," Erin called out at him, trying to withhold her annoyance.
"Normal private time or gross private time?" Ethan asked through the door.
Erin sighed and Jay still held her against his lap. She made no move to remove herself just yet. Part of her hoped Ethan would take the hint and go back to his room and watch some TV and give them a few more minutes to themselves.
But then he added, "Because it's passed my pill time and it's my tremor medicine and you get upset when I don't take it on time. And they aren't in the bathroom and I don't know where you put them."
They both let out a joint sigh at that and Jay's hands dropped away from her waist and she moved to get off him.
"Just a second …," she allowed.
She rose from the couch and bent over the table, handing Jay the Galactic Night box, which he took and shoved down between the cushions behind where he was sitting. She went and slide open the door and Eth looked up at her a little unsurely – measuring if she was upset at him – and glanced passed her to where Jay was sitting on the couch. But then he moved his eyes back to her.
"I think I should take the pain pill too," he offered quietly.
She allowed a little nod and nudged passed him, while also nudging him toward the sitting area. And she went to her suitcase to retrieve his stockpile of pills and to dig out the ones he needed.
"Now I can't sit on the couch the rest of the week," she heard Ethan say to Jay.
She didn't even be there to know that Jay had shown complete indifference to that. "Fine, more space for us," he'd allowed.
Ethan had made a noise. He'd already expressed that he didn't like the little arm chairs in the room. But Erin moved back by him, nudging him again.
"Sit down," she ordered. "You need to have something to eat if you're going to take the Vimovo." Eth gazed at her. "We weren't doing anything that we haven't done on any of the couches you sit on at home." They'd actually done a hell of a lot more on the couches at home. And she was pretty sure on the one in his dad's living room – so had Hank and Camille and Justin and various girlfriends and some boys from her past that she didn't want to reflect on too much either. But her baby brother still made a disgusted face at her and she just nodded toward the sitting space again. "Don't be a baby."
He shuffled into the room, as she went over to the kitchenette and filled up a glass of water for him and opened the single cupboard to look at the crackers and granola bars they'd picked up for him the day before, weighing what he'd eat without comment and save them from nausea or stomach pain.
"How you feeling?" Jay asked Ethan. Her brother had just shrugged. "You hurting bad?"
Ethan shrugged again. "I don't know. Maybe."
"Must be if you want your pain meds," Jay said.
"The air conditioning is really cold," he said. And Erin gave another glance, weighing that too. They'd really have to call down to have someone come up to take a look at the thermostat if the A/C was bothering Eth that much. They couldn't have it aggravating his aches and pains. It'd made getting through the week that much harder.
Jay allowed a little nod, accepting his explanation, as Erin came back and handed him the water and a handful of crackers. Then she sat down on the stacking tables, watching him crunch on one while she popped open the two bottles and retrieved the pills.
"Are we gonna go down to the pool now?" Eth asked between his slow nibbles, accepting the pills in the palm of his hand and washing them down.
"Whole glass," Erin put to him. He never drank the whole glass with his tremor medication and he really needed to. He gave her a look and took another sip. "I don't know if you feel up to doing much right now," she added.
He squinted at her and washed down the rest of glass and crunched on the cracker, as if to show her he was fine. She was still weighing if she bought that. Deciding in her own mind – again – how they were going to manage the evening now that he was awake.
But apparently Jay had other plans.
"You've got three options for tonight, bud," he said. Ethan' eyes moved to his. "One – we go down to the pool."
"That one," Eth said instantly.
"Think you want to listen to the rest," Jay told him firmly. Ethan got quiet – eyeing him at the tone that'd been used. "We go down to the pool. We have some dinner at one of the restaurants downstairs and then we come back up here and you do a bit of that homework before having some of your screen-time and hitting lights out."
Ethan squinted more. "It's vacation," he said.
Jay shrugged. "Want to hear the other two options?"
"Yes," Ethan put flatly – because he was clearly unimpressed with Option One, even though it sounded pretty decent to Erin.
"Option Two," Jay said. "We take a walk over to the City Walk now, pick out a restaurant for some dinner, then come back here and work on one of your homework sheets for a bit until it's time for the movie at the pool. Then we head downstairs."
"Why don't any of these options have going back to Jurassic Park?" Ethan said with a small edge. "We didn't go on Indominus' Reign yet!"
"You really think you're still up to a park?" Erin put to him. He cast her eyes – they flickered with anger, frustration and hurt. The little boy and the sick boy and the defiant teenager all struggling for the upper hand.
"Option Three is that we start working on your homework – now," Jay told him, keeping straight on eyes. "We have a bite up here. And around quarter-to-seven, we'll head back over to the park for a couple hours."
"And then the pool?" Ethan pressed.
Erin shook her head. "No," she said mirroring the firm tone Jay had been using. "After the park, we come back and you get ready for bed."
Ethan eyed her. "But we'll go to the pool tomorrow?"
Erin shrugged. "Tomorrow we'll talk about tomorrow," she said.
Ethan let out a slow defeated breath and he sat there, staring at the crackers in his hand. Her phone buzzed on the table and his eyes flickered again to look at it. Her eyes shifted too and she allowed a little smile to creep on her face. She picked it up and clicked on the picture that had come through, turning it to show to Ethan.
"Looks like Bear is helping your dad get the sandbox ready for Henry," she said.
Ethan gave it a shy smile and took it to stare at. "Did you talk to Dad while I was sleeping?" he asked.
Erin gave a little nod. "Just texted," she said.
"Can I call him?" Ethan asked.
Erin gave him a little sigh. "How about you tell us what option we're doing and then we can figure out when you can call your dad, Eth."
"I just want to tell him about everything," Ethan said softly.
"I know," Erin acknowledged. "But you can't be on the phone with him for half-an-hour and then expect to have time for all these other things. We need you do some of your homework – or your dad is going to be pretty unhappy with all of us when you get back."
Ethan stared at the photo of his dog – and the sandbox and the toys sitting next to it that Hank had managed to dig out of the shed and the basement. He'd found the old plaster dinosaur fossils. He'd told Ethan he was going to look for them. Erin was surprised – and not surprised at all – they still existed and had been kept. And she also would be completely unsurprised if in that moment Eth just wanted to be there to bury them in the sandbox and then to sit there all Easter weekend with his nephew digging them up and making Jurassic discoveries.
"Option three …" he finally whispered. It was a little weak.
But Erin nodded. "OK," she allowed. "Then, we'll text your dad and let him know we'll be back in our room by ten—"
"That's only nine at home," Ethan stressed.
"I know," she said. "So that'd give you half an hour until light's out. Right?"
"Yea …," Ethan allowed.
"So, you can talk to your dad then," she said.
"OK …," he nodded. "Tell him to have Bear there to talk too."
She allowed a little smile at that. "OK …," she conceded. She'd like Hank handle that. She wasn't sure if he'd put the dog on FaceTime or not. But that's something he could argue about with Ethan himself.
He handed the phone across to her and she worked at keying in the text right away. She figured with a Friday night to himself, Hank might be prowling the streets and grooming his contacts or over at the Social Club or sitting somewhere with Alvin trying to keep him from drinking his cares away too badly or off drinking his cares away by himself too. But hopefully with a bit of notice, he'd make himself available for Ethan. She didn't doubt he would. Because she was pretty sure he'd want to hear about the day. Just like she'd read between the lines in the handful of texts he'd sent earlier and got the sense that Hank sort of wished he was there seeing the look on Ethan's face in Jurassic Park and not just looking at it in pictures.
"Option Three has a few caveats," Jay put to Ethan as she keyed into the phone. She gave him a glance at that and arched her eyebrow slightly. But he was looking at Eth who was staring at him with mild horror. Because Eth knew that he wasn't a fan of caveats and Jay loved placing caveats in his little bribe and reward system for her brother. So it really shouldn't have surprised either of them that he had some now too.
"We're going to go and do Indominus first," Jay said. "You want to do the other two coasters after that – fine. But we aren't going on the River Adventure again and we aren't going to go into Camp Jurassic."
"But—" Ethan protested but Jay firmly shook his head.
"It's going to be dark, you're already cold. We aren't going to get wet again," he stressed. "And we aren't going to spend the whole night in the dig site. Because the other caveat is there's a couple things, me and your sister want to do. We'd like to do the Flying Dinosaur again. You can go into the gift shop while we do. That's fine. But we're going to do it again. And we'd like to go on the Hulk coaster too. Same thing. Understand you aren't interested. You don't have to come on. You can check out the line with us, if you want. Or can wait outside, check out a gift shop there. Fine. But we're going to ride. And after that, if there's time, I'd like to check ou the Spiderman ride. It's not a coaster. I think you'd like it. But I know how you feel about super heroes. You want to skip it – again – fine. But I'm going to ride—"
"I will too," Ern added. Jay met her eyes briefly and then shifted them back to Eth.
"And you can make your own call about it," he nodded. "We get each other?"
"Yea …," Eth allowed quietly. The tone said he wasn't entirely thrilled and he wasn't entirely sure what he'd decide to do. But he was willing to accept the deal.
Jay nodded and then jutted his chin off at the door. "OK," he allowed. "Then go grab your homework pack. We'll pick out a couple pages to work on."
Ethan let out a slow breath but pulled himself back to his feet and moved back out the door. And her and Jay again met eyes. And she sort of again wanted to tell him what a dad he was going to be. What a husband he'd be. What a friend and partner he was.
But she didn't say it. She didn't need to. All she needed to know what that they could do this. Together. All of it. Because they already were.
And what she did say to him was, "You know, tonight, I think I'm going to take a nice, long shower". And she arched her eyebrow at him.
And he smiled. Grinned like a silly little boy. "That sounds like a great idea."
And it really did. Because they were going to make it a vacation for all of them. Fumbling and stumbling and pawing their way through. Faking it until they made it. And making it up as they went along. All the inconveniences and changes of plan as they went along. But it was still all going to work out OK. It'd still have good parts and memories. Even with the caveats they all needed to buy into to make it work. It'd work out.
AUTHOR NOTE: Not sure what Florida chapter I'll do next or if I'll shift back to the more traditional story at this point. We'll see. Had sort of wanted to do Harry Potter and/or Star Wars chapter but I might've run out of Florida steam.
Your readership, reviews and comments and feedback are appreciated.