It wasn't at all unusual for the sound of an alarm clock radio playing WFPP to wake her up. The morning show at the radio station was into pop songs, not rock songs. Max at the station allowed it because, he said, different audiences listened to the radio at different times and brought in different ad revenue to the station. They were, mostly a Top 40 format anyway. She rolled her eyes and then stared up at the ceiling.
That was the moment that she realized that she wasn't at home in her own bed. The pounding behind her eyes was her second clue as to what had happened the night before. When she felt the knitted wool blanket scratching against her bare skin, she finally made the decision to look to her left. There, among a sea of afro curls, was Hyde.
She winced and brought her hand up to the bridge of her nose. How did she let this happen? Last thing she could remember last night was the station Christmas Party. There had been a little…well, a lot of drinking. It was always that way in radio. She and Vanessa decided to stick together most of the night and they did. Right up until the moment that Donna decided she wanted to go home. Her mind had gone through all the people who could come pick her up from the radio station. Her dad was getting his back exfoliated at a spa in the Wisconsin Dells. There was no way she was calling Eric.
That left Hyde. So, she called him. In the half hour that it took him to get to the radio station she had another couple beers. The snow last night had been wicked. No wonder it had taken him forever to get across town. The one thing that had always been said for her was that she was a happy drunk. When she piled into the passenger seat, she had trouble staying quiet. There'd been a lot of drunken murmuring and mumbling as Hyde shuttled her home. There had also been a lot of goofy laughter.
By the time they got back to the Forman House, The Tonight Show was followed by The Midnight Special as she and Hyde dived into the beers that he kept in the basement shower. The television wasn't very entertaining. In fact, the episode of Midnight Special that they had tuned into had Doc Severinsen hosting. Somewhere between the beer and the bad TV, the two of them had started making out on the couch.
She slowly shifted in the bed, trying to avoid waking him up. As she got to her feet, she did what she could to collect her clothes and slide them on. Poking her head out of the back bedroom under the stairs, she checked to see if anyone was in the basement. When she saw Mrs. Forman standing at the dryer, she ducked back down to stay out of Kitty's line of sight. It was one thing to have Mrs. Forman walk in on her kissing Randy last month. It would be something very different to get caught doing the walk of shame out of Hyde's room on a Saturday morning.
"Hiding from Mrs. Forman, huh?" Hyde snuck up behind Donna and scared the hell out of her. She backed up into Hyde's bedroom and took him with her.
"Look, I don't know everything that happened last night." Donna stuck a finger in his face. "It's all still a little…hazy?"
"Which part?" Hyde smirked. "The one where you needed to be picked up at the Christmas Party; the part where you sang an apology to me in the El Camino or the part where you shotgunned a beer, stripped down to your underwear and sang the Pina Colada Song during Midnight Special?" He started to laugh to himself as Donna buttoned up her jeans.
"Oh God, I did all that." Donna winced and took a seat on Hyde's bed. "I was actually referring to the other thing?"
"Oh, that thing." Hyde nodded approvingly. "Yeah, that thing was my favourite part."
"Shut up, Hyde." She threw a pillow at him. "What are we going to do? Mrs. Forman's right out there."
"It's a Saturday." Hyde sat next to her. "She'll put a load in and then head to the grocery store. Mrs. Forman always does her grocery shopping before family dinner on Sundays. Just hang out in here until she's done."
"Oh God." She slumped. "Exactly what happened?"
"Well, it's a little hazy for me, too." Hyde subconsciously rubbed his temple. "But I remember you apologizing to me in the El Camino for being kind of bitchy at the funeral…"
"Hyde!" She protested and whacked him on the shoulder.
"Your words, not mine." He raised his hands into the surrender position. "Then we came back here, put on Carson and then started drinking."
"I remember the drinking. Not so much the Carson." Donna nodded slowly. "Then I remember music and the two of us talking."
"See, I don't remember the talking. Remember the music." Hyde ran a hand through his afro. "What did we talk about?"
"Sort of, how messed up things have been for the last month. Then there was why I think I can get past Eric and then how you got over Jackie with Sam and then…" Donna's mind started cycling through everything that happened the night before.
"Oh man, then we started talking about…" Hyde's eyes narrowed.
"Sex." The two of them said simultaneously. "Nothing good ever happens when a man and a woman start talking about sex in any detail. Particularly when they're both single."
"That's why that sixth beer was a super bad idea." He started rubbing his forehead. "I think the conversation stemmed out of Forman's three basic moves."
"Yeah, and then it developed into the stuff you and Sam did which was just…" Donna's voice trailed off. "And then it sounded kind of hot, so."
"That's what happened then." Donna fastened her bra. "Alright."
"In my defence, I have always kind of wanted to get on the big red ride at the fun park." Hyde chuckled to himself with a smirk and Donna laughed before chucking him on the shoulder.
"Shut up." She said through a laugh. "Come on, we tell no one about this. Agreed?"
"Yeah, whatever." He replied as the sound of Mrs. Forman climbing the stairs echoed over their heads. The two of them waited to hear the door to the basement click closed before leaving his room again. Both Hyde and Donna thought they had gotten away with it. Until they walked out of the room and saw Fez sitting in his usual chair by the door with the sounds of WFPP still mocking them from the radio in Hyde's room.
She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He's watching her go
But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
And nothing at all keeps sending him
BAD-TIME-TO-BE-IN-LOVE-THAT-70s-SHOW
In the entire time that he'd worked at the department store, Eric wasn't sure he'd ever met anyone in management. So, it was a bit of a shocker when he got a note on his locker from the store manager's assistant telling him that he had a meeting with the manager prior to his shift on Saturday.
He was out of the house early and on his way into the store. It was the end of one of the longest stretches he'd work with Jackie this month. He was also starting to appreciate the fact that this job only had two weeks left. Jackie didn't mind getting picked up a little early on the way into work. In fact she seemed almost as curious as he was as to why he'd been called in early.
There was a second there where he debated getting most of his costume on before heading into the meeting, thinking that if he was in trouble it would be harder for people to yell at Santa Claus. Eventually, he decided against it. Whatever Mrs. Wessler wanted to talk to him about was probably pretty important and he figured he should try and take it seriously.
He sat in the reception area outside her office, twiddling his thumbs and waiting to be called in. It was totally different than when he worked at Price Mart with Red as the manager. Normally, the serious talks could wait until they got home back then. A slight ringing came over the intercom to the receptionist's desk and Eric took a deep breath.
"Mrs. Wessler will see you now." The receptionist smiled quickly at Eric before returning to her duties.
Suddenly, with his heart in his throat, he got up and opened the door to the inner office. Trudie Wessler looked like an older version of Jennifer from WKRP in Cincinnati. Her hair was very blonde and very blow-dried, not unlike Shelly's. She was shorter than Shelly was, a little. But she had this presence that left no doubts about who was the boss.
"Eric!" She warmly greeted him while holding a folder. "Please take a seat and thank you for coming in early."
"No problem, Mrs. Wessler." Eric was trying to get over his awkwardness as he took a seat.
"So, a few days ago, my daughter gave me some interesting news." Trudie Wessler set the folder down on her desk and took a seat in her chair. Eric's heart started to race. There's no way that Shelly would have told her mom about the two of them, right? "She told me that she thinks that Santa's workshop has seen five thousand kids already this year. I told her that she was insane. There weren't five thousand kids in the Point Place area."
"All I can tell you is that we've been really busy, Mrs. Wessler." Eric pushed a smile to his face. "It's been a blast, though."
"I know you have." Trudie opened the folder. "So, I took a look at the Santa's Workshop purchase orders for film and it turned out that as of the last requisition, you've seen over 4,800 kids in just your first three weeks."
"Wow." Eric gulped.
"This proved a couple of things. First, my daughter keeps close track on her paperwork, just like her mother. Second, that the two of you have managed to actually make Santa's Workshop profitable." She closed the folder again. "I called a friend of mine down at the County registrar's office and she informs me that there aren't five thousand kids in Point Place under the age of fifteen. And, once you factor in kids from homes that don't celebrate Christmas, I'm betting that you've seen every kid Greater Oshkosh area."
Eric wasn't sure where this was going. He wasn't used to working for someone who actually praised him. Except for that one time that Red did and it screwed him up for a few days.
"All this is to say, that unless the store burns down, you can expect to earn your Christmas bonus this year." Trudie Wessler leaned back in her chair. "I also wanted confirm that you know that in addition to your duties as Santa at the store this year, you and my daughter along with a couple of your elves will be making an appearance at the LOPP Christmas party next Saturday night. Also, you're going to be playing Santa in the Winter Carnival parade next Sunday. Both of which will be factored into the bonus you get on Christmas Eve."
"Thanks, Mrs. Wessler." Now Eric didn't have to try and force the smile. It just came naturally.
"My daughter says that you're going to be going to school next year to become a teacher. Is that right?" She leaned forward in her chair.
"Yeah, um, yes, that's the plan." Eric was nervous again. Every mention of Shelly by her mother made him nervous.
"Well, I don't know what we're going to do without you next year at Christmas." Trudie Wessler gave Eric a polite but maternal smile. "I don't suppose you'd be interested in accepting a position here after Christmas?"
That one caught Eric by surprise. He gave his head a shake. "Wow." He managed to croak out. "As much as I've loved working here, I don't know, Mrs. Wessler. Can I have a little time to think about it? I mean, I do need something until I head to class in September."
"Well, take a little time." She slid out from behind the desk and started to walk around it. "I know my daughter's very fond of you."
And it turned out that they were thinking about the same thing this whole time. He was starting to get a bit of an uncomfortable feeling right between his shoulder-blades. It turned out that the matchmaking tendency was cross cultural. It didn't matter if it was that little village in Africa that he'd spent months in or right back here in Point Place. Mothers were mothers everywhere.
"Yeah, she's a really special girl." Eric tried to say the nicest, most non-committal thing that he could think of. "I'm super grateful to her for this job."
"You're a good guy, Eric." Mrs. Wessler gave him a quick, warm but conclusive smile. "Now, get out there and keeping setting records as the best damn Santa this store has ever seen."
Eric gave thumped the arms of his chair with his palms and got to his feet. This meeting had a little bit of everything. It was awesome and uncomfortable at the same time. He headed down the long hallway into the store room like a man possessed. He felt like Redford prowling through the parking garage in All the President's Men. When he got to the men's change room, he angrily started to slide his costume on. At one point, he figured that he'd tied his boots so tight that he was worried he'd cut off circulation in his left foot.
WFPP usually played in the store until Jerry Thunder came on. Then the maintenance guys changed over to the pop station out of Madison. He could barely hear the Doobie Brothers above the din of the store.
He came from somewhere back in her long ago
The sentimental fool don't see trying hard to recreate
What had yet to be created once in her life
She musters a smile for his nostalgic tale
Never coming near what he wanted to say
Only to realize
It never really was
He wondered if Point Place would ever outgrow being a small town. The place that he had romanticized all those nights in Africa suddenly felt every bit as small as that village he had been assigned to. It's mating and matchmaking rituals were, on some levels, every bit as socially constricting as those he felt he had left behind.
He grabbed the big white wig and adjusted it on his head. Then he slid the hat on top. Capping it off with the glasses, he took a deep breath and grabbed the prosthetic facial hair that he'd gotten so used to having glued to his face.
As he headed out of the change room, he couldn't help but feel just a little irritated. He knew that he had to push it down. Kids were super sensitive to any of Santa's moods. That was one thing that he'd learned over the last few weeks. If kids thought Santa was angry, they were more likely to cry. If they though Santa was sad, you never got them to the candy cane.
He walked out into the store room and saw Twinkle standing there waiting for him. It was hard to think of Jackie as anything else when they were at work. She smiled at him brightly, those perfect cherry lips curling back to reveal her teeth. Her feathered, blow dried raven hair flowing down past her shoulders out from under her elf's cap.
"How did your meeting go?" She reached out and took the moustache from him.
"Good, I think." He didn't feel like getting into the Shelly stuff with Jackie. He felt like it was his to sort out. The last time the two of them had talked about it, things had gotten a little awkward. It was like she was jealous…was she? "Apparently, we're helping the store shatter sales records or something."
"That's great." Jackie cheered as she pressed the moustache down over his upper lip. There was a playful, almost flirtatious lilt in her laugh when she was truly happy. It was one of those sounds that he actively tried to get out of her. It made his day when he heard it. "So, um, you're cool with being one of the elves doing the LOPP Christmas Party and the Winter Carnival parade next weekend, right?"
She'd been thinking about it. She knew that Mrs. Wessler was in charge of the Christmas Party and a part of her was mortified at the idea of showing up to that party looking like something that had just stepped out of a Christmas special. But, on the other hand, she felt like she wanted to spend the time with him. She felt like she could get away with it because it was the Christmas season.
"Would I leave Santa all alone to face the desperate older women of Point Place?" Jackie laughed again as she took the beard from him. "Of course, I'll be there with you."
"Great." He smiled. In his mind there was some way he had to convince her that he meant it. He took her hand gently and gave it a little squeeze. "Now, let's get out there and spread a little Christmas cheer. Okay, Twinkle?"
"Absolutely, Santa." Jackie laughed just a little and the two of them headed out into the store.
She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He's watching her go
But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
And nothing at all keeps sending him