A/N: Sorry for the wait. Been busy a lousy week. Here's an extra long fluffy chapter to make up for it.

missalex3030: Thank you! I also freak the fuck out when I get email notifications about your reviews haha ^^ I'm so glad you approve of Rowan's development!

snuffles95: Thank you thank you! :D Here is some of the beginnings of that "proving wrong" that you mentioned!

sarahmichellegellarfan1: Thank you as always! I'm so happy everyone seems to appreciate Rowan's skepticism!

casualmoose: Hahaha your response made me really happy. Rowan's confidence is holding strong, but Remus is putting in some effort today!

lovirosa: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you approved! I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much!

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Chapter 40: Of Drops on the Surface

The storm that overtook London seemed coincidentally well timed. Though it would be ridiculous to think that the dark whispers and nightmares would fade away in a week, Rowan couldn't help but think that the city felt much cleaner after the rain. For the first time in weeks, she felt like she could truly breathe again without feeling as if she were swimming through the air itself, and the weather took on much more autumnal tones. The relief was immeasurable.

Remus didn't stay at Rowan's apartment the night of the storm, nor the night after or the night after that. Three weeks passed quickly with very little change in her daily routine except that every evening, he would be on her doorstep waiting for her, and on the weekends, he was there in the afternoon, sometimes in the morning. The first few days he'd shown up, she'd looked at him like he'd grown another head and left him standing on her front stoop, but he'd kept showing up until she'd finally allowed him to come in with her, just to muffle the feelings of guilt she was quickly developing - he just looked so pathetically hopeful standing there, waiting for her to come home like a loyal dog. She wasn't sure if she was more frustrated with him or herself.

Since then, she'd humored his new attempts to court her again despite feeling very little enthusiasm. There had been a few days, however, that she'd been too tired to handle his presence, but even when she snapped at him moodily, he'd gone home without protest, kissing her on the cheek wordlessly goodbye and giving her the space she needed. On the days she begrudgingly let him inside, he left before it got too late, and though he had shyly begun treating her more affectionately, he never pushed her to reciprocate. She wasn't even sure how to, if she were to be honest.

At the couple of Order meetings since Remus' change of heart, their friends had been thrilled to see the change, to say the very least. Rowan was sure James and Lily's faces might break if they kept grinning at her so broadly every time she saw them. Sirius had punched Remus on the shoulder so roughly with happiness that the lighter-haired man's knees had buckled slightly, and Molly Weasley had embarrassed her greatly by exclaiming in front of the entire organization how happy she was to see them together again. She wanted to protest – they weren't together again – but there was no getting a word in edgewise with these people. She supposed it was to be expected when the great majority of her friends were Gryffindors.

The most surprising had, in fact, been Peter's reaction. He'd missed the first meeting – he'd come down with the flu apparently – but when she saw him at the next, he looked at her as if he would break down into tears of joy. He'd held her hands with such warmth, spoke with such unbridled happiness, that he looked like a completely different person. Seeing the dark rings under his eyes and the paleness of his face – he must have had a truly terrible case of the flu - she hadn't had the heart to tell him that she hadn't actually forgiven Remus yet.

It was honestly becoming quite annoying how pleased everyone seemed to be – she certainly didn't feel the same way. It was difficult to not feel overwhelmed by it all when everyone around her was so excited. Remus seemed to have noticed how uncomfortable the premature celebrating made her and suggested they spend time together without the company of their friends, much to her relief, though she found it frustrating how pleased he had seemed with all of it.

It was nearing the end of September, and Rowan had finally started feeling confident about her P.A.T.s. She knew it wasn't until January, but her father had ingrained in her head that it was "impossible to be too ready." She took the saying to heart and continued a rigorous regimen of studying and note recovery. She'd managed to recover a good amount of Belby's old notes from memory and was confident she'd have enough to begin testing again as soon as she got her Potioneer's license. As far as she was concerned, January couldn't come soon enough.

It was Friday, and the end of the day quickly arrived. She headed up the stairs slowly from the basement, stretching her stiff muscles out with flailing arms. Alfred sat in the kitchen reading The Daily Prophet with a cup of tea and a plate of chocolate biscuits. She sat down and snatched one up, shoving it into her mouth ungracefully. He glared pointedly at her.

"Okay, I know I taught you better than that," he scolded. Rowan grinned back cheekily, teeth coated with mashed up chocolate. Alfred blanched and made a gagging noise. She gave a muffled boyish chuckle and poured herself a cup of tea, gulping it down and washing the biscuit away with it.

"It continues to amaze me that you have so many handsome suitors when your table manners are appalling," Alfred said haughtily. "Please tell me you don't do these things when you're out with Master Crouch."

"Actually, I broke things off with him nearly a month ago," she said flippantly, grabbing the sports section from Alfred's paper. An article about the Chudley Cannons pulling an upsetting win over the Appleby Arrows caught her eye. No doubt the Weasleys would be quite pleased.

Alfred raised an eyebrow. "Really? I was under the impression that things were going quite well with you two," he said.

Rowan shrugged. "We had an agreement. He and his father didn't follow through with their side, so there was no use in continuing," she said casually over the paper.

Alfred nodded in understanding then smirked. "Tell me you at least shagged him," he said teasingly.

"Aren't you supposed to be a parental figure?" she said glaringly.

Alfred shrugged. "As your caretaker, I'm concerned about all of your needs," he said. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "All of them."

Rowan pretended to vomit into her teacup, and he laughed in response. "Oh please, like you didn't at least imagine it – he's a sexy little thing, and it's not like you're getting any from Remus anymore," he said. Rowan felt her face burn and hid her face behind her paper as discreetly as she could, but of course he noticed.

"Rowan," he started slowly. "Please tell me you and Remus aren't…" He gave her a reproachful look.

Rowan slapped the paper down onto the table. There was no use trying to avoid the conversation – he wasn't going to drop it until he got some answers.

"No," she said firmly. She shifted uneasily though.

"But…?" Alfred pushed.

Rowan sighed. He could always read her. Was she really so transparent? "He asked me to take him back… about a few weeks ago," she said with exasperation.

Alfred frowned. "And you said no, of course, right?" he said lowly. "Tell me that's not the real reason you broke things off with Crouch." She could hear the anger flaring testily in his voice. He still obviously held a grudge against the young man for the last time he'd hurt her.

"No, of course not!" she protested. "Remus asked after things had ended with Barty, and he hadn't even known about that." Alfred looked slightly relieved but stared pointedly for her to continue. She sighed.

"I didn't give him an answer," she said honestly. Alfred's expression darkened. "He asked me to tell him what to do to win me back, and I said I wouldn't. I told him he'd have to figure it out for himself," she argued.

"Rowan," Alfred said warningly.

"I know, I know!" she said. "But I haven't promised him anything! He's doing all of this on his own."

"But you're not discouraging him either," he countered testily. "And what is he doing exactly?"

Rowan wanted to groan in frustration. "I don't know… Nothing big, I suppose. He just shows up every evening to hang out and takes me out sometimes."

"Has he tried to make a move on you?" Alfred asked darkly.

"No," Rowan said firmly. She tried to ignore the uneasy feeling in her stomach – she wasn't sure why it was there to begin with. "The most he's done is kiss me on the cheek."

Alfred's expression remained dark, but she waved it off. "Really, Al, you don't need to worry about it. He'll bail sooner or later anyway – he always does. I'm fine," she said casually. Her chest tightened at the thought, but she pushed it away. She refused to even consider the possibility of other outcomes.

The older man assessed her carefully but then relented. "If you say so," he said skeptically.

Rowan smiled and got up to leave. "On that note, he's probably sitting in my flat right now. I should go kick him out," she said half-jokingly. Alfred nodded but eyed her warily. As she moved to leave, she turned back around, remembering something.

"Can you not mention this to Mum? I don't want her stressing about nothing," she said. Alfred nodded.

"Alright, but you should tell her before too long. You know how angry she'll be if she finds out from someone else," he said. Rowan nodded.

"I will. Thanks. See you Monday," she said before turning and leaving the kitchen.

"Fuck!" Rowan cursed.

As soon as she Apparated back into London, she was hit with a sudden downpour of rain. Within ten seconds, she looked as if she'd jumped into a pool. She ran down the street quickly, holding her bag to her chest – she couldn't risk the rain soaking through to her notes. She sprinted through the rain, squinting to prevent the water from seeping into her eyes. She felt it creep into her shoes wetly and cringed at the feeling of her toes squishing noisily against her socks.

As she reached her building, her blood drained momentarily. Remus stood on her doorstep, completely drenched. His hair clung to his face, white dress shirt nearly transparent from the rain. She ran up the steps to meet him, tripping slightly over her own feet.

"What are you doing out here?" she shouted over the pounding rain. He smiled guiltily at her but didn't say anything as she pushed her key into the door. She moved inside quickly, and he followed, shaking his hair out like a dog and splashing her in the process. She wrung her own hair out and checked on her bag – still somewhat dry. She felt a small wave of relief and then looked back up at Remus, who had untucked his shirt and was wringing it out at the bottom hem. She saw that line of dark hair that ran up from the waist of his pants and cursed at herself for the small heat that shot through her – how could she even think of him that way right now?

"What were you doing out there?" she repeated incredulously. He looked up and grinned ruefully at her. She felt that heat again but pushed it away.

"Well, I gave you my key back a couple of weeks ago, so I couldn't get in," he said rather embarrassedly.

"What?" Rowan asked. Her eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

Remus looked at her with equal confusion. "I left it on your table. I even said so. Did you not see it?" he asked with surprise.

Rowan scoured her mind for the memory but couldn't recall him ever saying that. Her table was also covered in books and parchment – she'd probably completely overlooked it.

"I don't remember," she said. "Why would you do that?"

Remus shrugged. "You said it yourself that it wasn't really appropriate for me to be coming and going as I pleased, so I figured it'd be best to give you your key back. Isn't that what you wanted?" he asked anxiously.

Rowan thought back to the past few weeks and realized slowly that he'd always been waiting on her doorstep and not inside like he used to. She remembered vaguely yelling at him for showing up in her flat the afternoon he'd declared his intentions. She hadn't expected him to remember that though – even she had barely remembered saying it. He shivered slightly, and she suddenly realized how cold he must be.

"Come on, let's get inside before you catch a cold," she said, gesturing up the stairs. He nodded and followed.

When they finally pushed into her flat, Remus' teeth were chattering, though Rowan could tell he was trying to fight it. Her chest tightened at the sight of his broad shoulders shivering beneath the clinging material of his shirt. She turned away as she removed her wet socks and shoes, and he followed suit. She thought to herself that under normal circumstances she'd giggle at the strange squishing noises that bounced between them – but then what was normal for them anyway? She sighed quietly and then moved towards her table and scanned over it quickly, finding the offending key on the corner of the surface. How had she missed that? She started gathering her papers neatly to make space at the table, placing her bag down.

"How long were you out there for?" she asked.

Remus joined her at the table. "I don't know – maybe ten, fifteen minutes?" he said vaguely.

Rowan frowned. "Why didn't you just go home? I could've been out for hours!" she said incredulously, looking up at him. He shrugged.

"I've been here everyday for the past three weeks. It'd be weird if I weren't today," he said flippantly. Rowan stared at him with disbelief. She wanted to tell him that was stupid, but she saw the shivering in his shoulders again and realized that he was still very much wet.

"You should take a hot shower and change your clothes," she said sternly. Remus shifted uneasily.

"No, that's unnecessary," he said. "I can just dry them-"

"No," she interrupted, pushing him towards the bathroom before he could protest. "It's my fault you were out there for so long, and if you get sick, I'll be pissed off. I'll put your clothes in the dryer while you're in the shower."

Remus stood in the bathroom, looking somewhat lost for words and gazing at her with furrowed brows. She saw the muscle in his jaw twitch before he surprisingly smirked at her.

"Care to join me?" he asked teasingly.

Rowan felt her face burn and slapped him in the chest before slamming the door shut. She heard him laugh from the other side and her stomach jerked at the sound. It seemed like it'd been ages since she'd heard him laugh so freely. She hated how deeply it resonated within her.

The door then cracked open, and a pile of clothes poked out.

"Thank you," Remus said from the other side. A long scarred arm held them in front of her, and she took them quietly. He closed the door after pulling his arm back, and she wondered if she should be shocked at his sudden modesty.

After putting his clothes into the dryer, Rowan changed her own clothes and then got to clearing off her table. Placing bookmarks in before closing them, she piled her books together neatly and moved them to her bookcase. She took her notes out from her bag – she'd take a break the next day as it was Saturday – and set them on her bedside table, setting her bag out on her windowsill to dry.

The rain was really coming down hard. It clicked and clacked noisily against her window, and she saw a flash of light in the distance followed by a loud clap of thunder a few moments after that resonated through her flat. She heard the muffled rattling of the shower and realized she should cook something, as they most likely wouldn't be going out for dinner in this weather. She began pulling various ingredients from the refrigerator and decided on a stew – it was easy and would go well with the cold rain.

As she began chopping vegetables, her mind started to wander. It'd been so long since she'd associated Remus with the rain. She used to drag him out with her whenever they were graced with a warm storm at Hogwarts, and he'd begrudgingly humor her, watching her with mild amusement as she would take off her socks and shoes to soak her toes in the wet grass. She particularly liked the way the rain fell upon the lake and would pull him to the water's edge to admire it. She smiled despite herself – one of the first times she'd ever spent with him alone was during their Third Year at the lake, nearly seven years ago to the day.

It was late September, and she'd been dipping her toes into the lake during a slow drizzling rain, savoring the peaceful moment away from her classmates. She had still not quite found her niche – still very awkward with her female peers but not quite in with the boys yet. Her time in the rain was for her and her alone – a divine moment where the grounds were empty and she felt like the school was entirely hers. She needed no friends out there. She giggled to herself as the Giant Squid sucked at her feet with its tentacles as she wriggled them beneath the water. The gray sky melted into the water, and the rain had blurred the lines between the two realms – they seemed to go on and on forever, and she with them. What would happen if she were to throw her shoes into the lake? How far would they fly? She grinned softly to herself.

"What're you doing out here?" a voice called.

Rowan nearly fell into the water with a shocked squeal before steadying herself and turning quickly to see Remus staring at her with confusion. He had been small at that age – an inch shorter than she. His hair clung to his thin face, the scar at his jaw still red and fresh. He'd acquired it at the end of the previous year, which had sparked her sudden interest in his comings and goings. It looked quite large on his small face and bright against his pale skin. She forced her eyes to remain off of it.

Rowan's heart had leapt at the sight of him. She'd never been in his presence alone like this, not without James or Sirius at least. Something about him had always made her nervous - something in his face seemed much too old for a 13 year-old. She'd already had her suspicions regarding his condition at that point but no idea what to do with them. He'd never given her any reason to dislike him, but werewolves were supposed to be frightening, dangerous people. Was it safe to be alone with him like this?

"Oh, h-hi, Remus," she squeaked. She looked at the Giant Squid, as if it could give her some answers. It simply waded in the water, floating just below the surface. "I was just, um, playing with the squid…?" she said weakly. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment – could she be anymore pathetic? What kind of girl at that age plays in the rain alone with giant squids? He probably thought she was the biggest loser at Hogwarts!

But instead of scoff at her, Remus' mouth twisted with confused amusement. "You can do that?" he asked with a hint of awe.

Rowan smiled awkwardly, but she nodded. "Yeah, Derek McKinnon showed me. He's really friendly – the squid, I mean," she said, turning back to her aquatic playmate. The squid slowly raised a few tentacles out of the water wobbly as if waving at the two of them. She smiled at the modest gesture.

Remus grinned. "I had no idea," he said. "Does he have a name?"

Rowan shook her head. "Not as far as I know. I just call him 'Squid.'"

Remus nodded and moved to join her at the edge of the lake, looking out into the gray distance. Rowan turned slightly and eyed him carefully. The scar at his jaw seemed much more pronounced in profile. She could see the lines beneath his eyes, which seemed to age him considerably. She thought to herself that she should probably be afraid of him, but all she could feel was sympathy for her classmate. That cut looked incredibly painful. She'd seen him rubbing it subconsciously during class and at meals and wondered vaguely if there were others like it. Just how deeply did his condition run?

She tore her eyes from his jaw – it'd be terrible for him to catch her staring.

"What're you doing out here by the way?" she asked carefully. Remus turned back and smiled shyly. She felt her own face redden in response and her stomach clenched slightly, though she didn't understand why.

"I saw you from the boys' dorm and I don't know…" he said awkwardly, shifting uncomfortably and red in the face. "I've seen you out here before when it was raining," he said awkwardly.

His robes were completely soaked through now, as were hers. He reached up to wipe his wet hair from his forehead, and she congratulated herself for thinking to braid her hair that day.

Rowan smiled awkwardly. "You think I'm weird, don't you?" she said half-jokingly. Her cheeks reddened again.

He smiled warmly, and her stomach clenched again. "No, I think it's neat," he said genuinely. "It's good to have your quirks. I like sitting in the library alone when everyone else is on the grounds."

Rowan grinned. "Nerd," she teased. He smiled sheepishly.

They stood in silence, staring out at the lake together, before Rowan began to feel awkward again. Remus seemed to feel it as well.

"Should I leave you alone?" he asked carefully. Rowan shook her head.

"No, it's okay," she said, smiling shyly. "It's nice having company out here sometimes." Her face screwed up suddenly. "Just don't tell James or Sirius about this. Stupid James already calls the squid my boyfriend… the dumb wanker."

Remus laughed freely. He suddenly seemed so much younger. Her stomach clenched again in that strange way. She wasn't sure if she liked it or not. His laughter rang through the rain clearly – the first time she'd ever shared a happy moment with him. She'd associate the sound with the rain for a long time after.

"I won't," he promised warmly.

The two spent another hour out by the lake together, sharing small stories and playing with the Giant Squid. She decided after that she quite enjoyed his company and hoped that the next time it rained, he'd come join her again. She wouldn't figure out his secret definitely for another month, but even after her quiet moments of realization in the library and the feelings of horror that came with them, her stomach would still clench strangely at the sight of his gentle smiles. Werewolves were dangerous, but if Remus Lupin was an indication, maybe some of them weren't so bad.

"Rowan."

Rowan jerked with surprised to see Remus' wet head poking out from the bathroom, smiling amusedly. She felt her face burn with embarrassment at being caught daydreaming, though she wasn't sure why. She frowned slightly as she remembered those first nervous butterflies she'd felt with him all those years ago.

"Are my clothes dry yet?" he asked.

Rowan looked over at the dryer, which was still running. Her frown deepened.

"No," she said ruefully. She moved towards her wardrobe and began rustling through her clothes. "I'm sure I have some of your old shirts and even a pair of sweatpants here though," she said anxiously. She kicked herself for not thinking this through. Obviously his clothes wouldn't be dry by the time he got out of the shower!

Finally, she found an old t-shirt and some sweatpants she'd stolen from his place about two years before. She hurried over to the bathroom and handed them to him. She flashed her a boyish grin and closed the door between them. She sighed and forced herself not to bang her head on the door in frustration.

What was she even doing? She'd been determined not to let him into her life again, and yet she kept allowing him back into her space day after day and was even letting him shower there now. She was even cooking for him! She grimaced. She was self-conscious about her lackluster skills in the kitchen – he was definitely a much better cook – but he'd always insisted that he enjoyed the food she made for him. It was much too intimate. She bit back an angry groan and moved back to the stove where the stew was simmering slowly. There was no point in wasting food now that she'd begun cooking, she supposed.

Finally, Remus emerged from the bathroom with a puff of steam and heat. His skin glowed with the water, shirt clinging to his lean form. She kept her eyes on the pot purposefully, determined not to look at him.

"You're cooking?" Remus asked disbelievingly. He beamed, obviously very pleased, and moved to join her by the stove.

"That looks fantastic," he said happily. She stiffened as his hands grazed over her hips affectionately while moving to grab dishes from the cupboards. "Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked.

Rowan shook her head. "No, you can just relax. It's almost done anyway." She needed some space from him. It was beginning to be too much.

She watched the stew finish cooking for another few minutes in silence. He sat at the table and didn't say anything, but she could feel his gaze on her back. Finally, she knew she couldn't drag it out any longer and turned the stove off with a sigh, ladling the stew into their respective bowls. She placed a bread roll on top of each, carrying them to the table.

Rowan thought she might go blind from the brightness of Remus' smile. She suddenly felt incredibly dirty in comparison. He beamed at her like a child on Christmas morning and quickly tucked into his dinner.

They ate quietly and quickly. He scarfed his bowl down before her and pushed his bowl away, patting his stomach with a pleased look on his face.

"Ah, I think I could die happy right now," he said with great satisfaction. Rowan couldn't help the smile that pinched at her mouth. He always knew how worried she was about her cooking, and even if she wasn't sure if he was always telling the truth in his compliments, she still appreciated them. She wouldn't admit it just now though.

Her eyes trailed over the key, which still remained at the corner of her table. Now that she stopped to think about it, every time she'd come home to find him there, he'd been on the steps outside, not in her flat. She'd just assumed that he'd been doing it out of politeness, but this seemed much more significant somehow. She glanced at him hesitantly from the corner of her eye. He was watching the rain outside with a pensive expression, teeth worrying his bottom lip. She noted how prominent the scar along his jaw remained, even after so many years, and yet it seemed like an integral part of him now despite how strange and frightening it had been on his small face as a boy. It was pale and thinner now and had stretched longer as he'd grown. It seemed to highlight the sharp line of his jaw almost masculinely. She wondered what he was thinking about.

"Why did you give me my key back?" she asked.

Remus looked at her with a confused look. "Isn't that what you wanted?" he asked warily.

Rowan thought for a moment. "I don't know," she admitted. "Honestly, I just wanted you to stop showing up in my flat unannounced. It's frightening coming home to find someone there when you're not expecting it."

Remus smiled ruefully. "Yeah, I supposed you're right," he said. He looked at her thoughtfully. "So are you saying I should keep it?" he asked carefully.

Rowan looked down at her now empty bowl. "I don't know," she said quietly.

Did she want him to keep it? She knew the answer should be no, but after seeing him looking so pathetic in the rain, she almost felt like she should give it back. It didn't seem like he was going to give this act up anytime in the immediate future, even if it wouldn't last in the long run, and she didn't want him waiting around in rain and snow for her to come home. Would he take her refusal as discouragement and give up? Shouldn't she want that?

"How about you think on it for now, and we can talk about it later?" Remus suggested. Rowan looked up at him and saw him smiling gently at her. "I know this is still difficult for you to wrap your head around. Take your time. You can give it back to me when you're ready."

Rowan's chest tightened. His expression was so warm. Her wet hair suddenly felt very cold against her skin.

"Okay," she said quietly. She offered a shy smile in return, and his eyes flickered with a low heat. Her chest tightened again. "But next time it's raining like this or it's snowing or something, you should just go home," she scolded.

Remus smiled. "I'll consider it," he said vaguely.

The rest of the evening passed quietly but warmly. Remus let Rowan continue some reading she'd started the night before, and he rotated between going over his own work notes and doodling little sketches of her. He left the small drawings on her table after, which she'd find later with a small smile.

Finally, night fell upon them, and Remus got up to leave. He surprised her by going back into the bathroom to change – he hadn't done that since they were sixteen.

"Are you sure you don't want to wear these home?" Rowan asked skeptically, gesturing to the t-shirt and sweatpants that he'd handed back to her.

Remus smiled. "No, it's okay. I imagine I might need them another time here anyway," he said. "If you'll let me, of course," he added quickly.

Rowan didn't respond but stared at the clothing in her hands, thinking hard. After a moment, she turned and placed them back in her wardrobe, shutting the drawer quietly. When she turned back around, Remus was gazing at her so intently, so warmly, that she thought her chest might burst.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow then," he said. He looked at her hesitantly. "Do you want to go to the beach for the day? I was thinking that it'd be fun to get out while the weather is still kind of warm."

Rowan thought back to her memories of them by the lake at Hogwarts together and wondered if the rain had reminded Remus of those times as well. She smiled shyly.

"Okay," she said.

Remus' face broke out into a happy grin. She was sure her heart could be heard beating against her ribcage.

Before she could say anything else though, he was reaching forward to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, effectively silencing her. His eyes darted down towards her mouth, declaring his intent. She knew he was giving her the opportunity to push him away, but she couldn't find her voice or her hands. He was then leaning forward slowly, and her breath seemed to catch in her chest. Everything in her ached.

His lips grazed hers so softly that she hesitated to call it a kiss. It was like a whisper of lips, a silent promise though she couldn't be sure of what. He didn't push forward, but held her face ever so gently that even her cheek silently asked for more.

And then his touch was gone, and she opened her eyes – she didn't know when she'd closed them – to see him gazing at her so heatedly that she thought she might burst into flames.

"Goodnight then," he said quietly. Rowan exhaled slowly a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding.

"Goodnight," she breathed back.

Remus smiled again – a quiet twitch of his mouth – and then he was gone, closing the door behind him quietly. The silence of the room suddenly felt very chaotic, and Rowan felt lost within it. How had all of this happened? She couldn't even be angry with herself. She had simply been overtaken, overwhelmed. He'd completely overpowered her, but she wasn't sure how - he'd given her every opportunity to deny him. His hold over her remained incredibly frightening.

Her fingers rose to her lips, but she didn't dare touch them. She felt as if he'd bestowed a wish upon her, and she was afraid to brush it away. It was silly really, but there it was.

Three weeks in, and she already felt lost. She couldn't find it in herself to feel upset, just dazed and confused. This man was too much.

She headed to bed early. Perhaps a full night of sleep would help her think better in the morning.