Title: So It Goes
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: Chicago PD
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Chicago PD and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Ethan has been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: Hank Voight and his family try to cope with their struggles at home and work — and the dynamics those conflicting circumstances creat for their blended family in a time of transition. The series focuses on Voight, his sick and disabled son — and what's left of his family and their strained relationships, particularly that with Erin Lindsay and Jay Halstead as they work at establishing their own lives as a young couple.
This is a collection of one-shots/scenes using the characters as represented in the AU established in Interesting Dynamics. The chapters currently represent scenes happening in approximately S04 of the series or early 2017.
As I continue to update, they'll just provide one-shot snap shots into the characters' lives and likely some recasts of scenes from the show.
This is not a linear narrative with a beginning-middle-end. It's just scenes. It is generally set so it begins around the mid-point of Season 4 (or about January/February 2017) and may occasionally draw reference to (and have SPOILERS) from the series.
A notification is provided at the beginning of each chapter about where it happens in relation to the other chapters, if they are out of sequence. Chapters will be re-ordered semi-regularly (i.e. if you're reading this weeks or months after the chapter was originally posted, it's likely now in the right place, so just ignore the notification).
SPOILER ALERT: There are MAJOR spoilers in this collection from Interesting Dynamics, So This is Christmas, Scenes and Aftermath. This series also contains SPOILERS related to the finale of Season 3 of Chicago PD and will have occasionally spoilers from Season 4 of the show.
THIS CHAPTER IS PART 2 OF THEIR NIGHT AT THE STAR WARS EVENT AT THE DISNEY PARK. Part 1 was posted yesterday.
THERE IS A SMALL SPOILER FROM AN AFTERMATH CHAPTER THAT HASN'T BEEN WRITTEN YET. IT HAS BEEN MARKED - BEGINNING AND END — IF YOU WANT TO SKIP IT.
It seemed like at least half the park was loitering around the Star Wars area. Not exactly surprising given the event they were at. But it did make waiting the fucking 60 minutes (!) until the time they were slotted to scan into the ride a little long.
They'd presented Ethan with the option of getting in line for Hyperspace Mountain. But it was a rollercoaster and in the dark – and even though the Star Wars appeal was strong, Ethan was really struggling with rectifying the dark and rollercoaster with his desire to do it. He'd waffled more when they went over to the attendant to ask a few questions. Kids much littler than him were excitedly getting in the queue and he'd watched YouTube videos and was excited about the concept of engaging in a dogfight with TIE Fighters. She knew Jay was too. But he'd clearly thought better of it being the best Star Wars option when he was booking their top three choices of rides. Or maybe there just wasn't a timeslot that worked with his travel planning for their evening. But it was likely for the best anyway. Because the attendant had told them that it was only lap bars and it was single-seater set-up so neither her or Jay would be sitting next to her brother to better hold his light-weight body in place in the disclosed "big and sudden drops". Not to mention, with Eth's loss of vision, he just didn't do very well in dark environments. Beyond that – it was a two and a half hour wait! One – she didn't think Ethan would survive that long of wait, nor would she in a very happy manner. Two – that ate up a whole lot of their limited time in the park. And three – she didn't think they'd get out of the ride in time to still have their time window for Star Tours open.
It'd taken some convincing and repeatedly explaining those points to Eth to get him to accept it. But she got the sense he was a little relived to have the out. Though, she also thought if the wait-time had been more reasonable that Jay likely would've wanted to go on. Though, when they only had nine hours to try to cram a full park in – that seemed to have a lot of 20-45 minute long shows in and a two-and-half hour dinner reservation smack in the middle – they'd accepted they weren't going to get to do everything. Or really Jay had accepted.
Because he'd done the planning for this park. Exclusively. Since Ethan hadn't been told ahead of time – until he got his shocked Easter surprise that morning – he hadn't made a giant list of what he wanted to do. That hadn't stopped him from getting online that morning and deciding he wanted to do "basically it's all lit, but not Beauty and the Beast and not Little Mermaid. Lame. And not Frozen. Nina randomly sings that too much."
"Ethan, she babysat you once," Erin rolled her eyes.
"That was not babysitting. I am not a baby. And it was at night. She slept. And Will said weird things and wouldn't sleep in your bedroom even though Dad made me change the sheets."
"Ah …," she allowed and cast Jay a look.
Though, she'd told Hank that Will and Nina would be more comfortable at their place, Hank had insisted that he didn't want to mess with Eth's night or morning routine when they had to work the case for Burgess' sister. But by the time they were leaving for their Florida trip, it was pretty clear that Will and Nina were likely nearing the end of their … whatever it had been … relationship. Financial lifeboat for Will?
She was almost going to be surprised if they were still together when they got home. And somehow wouldn't be surprised if they arrived home to find that Will had decided to move into their townhouse – since Jay had given him a fucking key. And even if he wasn't there, she wasn't going to be surprised if she was soon going to have to be dealing with two Halsteads in her personal space. One of which she really wasn't all that interested in having in her personal space – or what him being around would do to her and Jay's relationship and what sort of conflict and anger and trauma it would stir up in Jay. If he was there – or showed up on their doorstep – there were definitely going to have to be some boundaries set. And a fucking deadline for when he needed to sort out his shit and find a place of his own. That discussion would likely go over only so well too considering how involved they were in her family's life and how often Ethan was over at their place and the fact she was pretty much letting Olive use her condo at a bargain-basement price and hadn't yet broached the discussion on if, when and how she was going to start paying her full price or get the hell out.
But that was let another conversation they wouldn't be having on vacation. Or maybe all of that was another reality they were trying to escape for ten days of their lives. Because families were fucking complicated and a real fucking pain in the ass. And the dynamics were hard. And hurtful. And frustrating. But they were family.
So instead she focused on Ethan's follow-up comment, "And Nina sang Frozen at breakfast. BREAKFAST!"
His distaste was palpable. But it only made her smile. "Did Will sing for you too?" Erin asked.
"No. He looked like he wanted to die," Ethan provided.
"He used to be a wedding singer," Jay said.
A trade that Jay had revealed he'd peddled as yet another way his brother had tried to court – and bed – all the wrong women. Because what better way than to meet someone desperate enough to date Will than to crone at the single ladies already depressed about being solo (and very likely drunk) at a wedding. Though, Nina sure seemed to love making Will pull out the guitar and sing whenever they were over too. And sign with him. Like it was some sort of campfire sing-along. It was really beyond tacky. Tackier than a Disney theme park. And gag worthy. Her and Jay always founded a really quick excuse when that guitar came out and the serenade started. But Will and Nina hadn't seemed to have noticed that they seemed to miraculously always get calls to a scene whenever that happened.
They were nice enough. As individuals. Maybe not as a couple. But they were definitely weird. Though, Erin supposed her and Jay shouldn't really talk. She could tell that when they had Will and Nina over they looked at their place and lifestyles and interests through similar lens. They likely thought they were the weird and dysfunctional ones.
"I hope he didn't sing Do You Want to Build a Snowman," Eth mumbled.
"What's that mean?" Erin asked. Because Ethan had become one of her go-to places of keeping up on tween and teen slang. Not that he even knew what he was saying half the time. She had to Google that shit to get a more accurate representation of the lingo of the current generation of degenerates as they attempted to pull the wool of their parents – and big sister's – eyes.
But he cast her a look like she was stupid. "Erin," he barked. "It's a song from Frozen! The one Nina kept singing!"
"Oh …"
"I do not want to build a snowman. Ever."
And that was fine. Just like it was fine that he didn't want to do anything to do with Beauty and the Beast or the Little Mermaid. Because Jay had already planned their night – booked their times and their dinner. So Ethan was just going to have to go with the flow. And he pretty much was.
He hadn't asked what rides or shows they'd be missing and Jay hadn't said. Though, Erin knew that they weren't even going to attempt Toy Story, which apparently usually had more absurd wait times than the Star Wars ride. And she knew they wouldn't be going on the Great Movie Ride – unless they had some extra time. Which sounded more like a ride Camille would've loved – and maybe Hank would've liked in terms of memories of or with his wife than something that any of them would be too distraught about skipping. They were also skipping the Backlot Tour. Which, again, Erin wasn't too upset about because it wasn't like this place was a working studio, and even if it was she thought that would likely be a whole new level or touristy-tacky, especially at Disney. Though, Jay's logic had been that it sounded like the ride … or "tour" … would be pretty similar to some of the shows and that Disaster ride Hank was rooting for them to go on at Universal. If that happened. Either way, she didn't care about skipping it either. Though, Jay had asked her if she'd be upset if they didn't get Aerosmith Rockin' Rollercoaster. Which, if she was thinking just about her, was about the only ride she was remotely interested in for herself at that park.
But, really, this night – or trip – wasn't about her. This was about spending time with Eth. Making some memories with Eth. Giving him a bit of a reprieve. Letting him just be a kid. For a while. Away from all his daily bullshit and grind and all the memories that haunted him in their home and their city. And this night was about Jay taking a lead in doing that. About him doing something really nice for Ethan. And, really, getting to watch Eth and Jay's reaction to a lot of the park so far was probably entertaining and fulfilling enough. And much better than wasting on of their riding bookings on a rollercoaster that Ethan might not want to get on – especially when it was in the dark and had multiple loops and corkscrews. They'd have another repeat of the Flying Dinosaur where they'd have to work on building up his confidence again before they got to the Wizarding World with a petrified tween again.
So instead Jay had gone ahead and booked Star Tours, Guardians of the Galaxy: Breakout! And Tower of Terror. They had their dinner booked in the Launch Bay, which apparently was going to be an interactive experience and exhibit all of its own. And if they had time after that they'd try to hit maybe the Cars Radiator Springs Racers ride. Or the animation exhibit and workshop. But based on the crowd of people they were now hitting and how by the time they got out of Star Tours they'd likely be nearing the scheduled times Jay had for their other rides – and then their meal – Erin didn't except they'd be doing more much than what was planned. And the fireworks.
But it was enough. And even though being in the Star Wars area an hour early was a bit of a waste of time, it was also ultimately the real reason they were at the park. And there was lots to look at. Their were dioramas and sculptures and backdrops to stand in front of and take pictures. Jabba the Hutt and Han Solo in carbonite. There were some various Imperial troopers wandering around and droids and Jawas. Characters to meet and talk to and interact with. But Eth seemed leery to go and introduce himself and battle the crowds in the half-managed lines for a picture – even though the characters were far less intimidating that Charlie in Jurassic Park. Though, she'd admit the Jawas were kind of creepy and kind of pushy. It was likely best Eth was giving them plenty of leeway because she sort of thought if they approached them it might be Jay who got pushy with them about the little aliens invading their space.
It was OK, though. Because Ethan had been taken with the AT-AT walkers and Ewoks and speedbikes … and why did she know the names of all this shit?
Eth and Jay had both waited their turn and climbed on the speedbikes wanting their pictures on the Star Wars version of a motorcycle. It actually was a sort of cute photo. One that she'd sent to Hank. Which just turned into Ethan' snagging her phone and bombarding Hank with pretty much every photo they'd taken that day and then getting restless when he dad wasn't responding with the same level of enthusiasm that Ethan was oozing. She'd had remind him that he'd planned to have Olive and Henry over that afternoon and likely didn't want to be fiddling on his phone. Beyond that, she was pretty sure after the drama of the morning, Hank had had enough of them for the day. And was likely happy to get the chance to focus on the low-drama of a toddler for a few hours.
They'd watched the Jedi Training show – which was ridiculously tacky and clearly designed for pre-schoolers. But Ethan had lamented about the cut-off age to participate being twelve. He'd actually – for once – accepted that he sure didn't look thirteen and wondered if he could pass muster to get to go and wield a plastic lightsabre at the Seventh Sister Inquisitor. Which she really shouldn't have asked who the fuck that character was because it resulted in Eth declaring that she should be coming over to Hank's on Saturday nights to view Star Wars Rebels with him and his dad.
Erin could really think of a long list of better things to do with her Saturday nights – including cleaning her and Jay's bathrooms. But it said a lot about what Hank and Ethan did with the Saturdays they had together – since Star Wars Rebels, closely followed by going to the butcher and maybe taken for breakfast on Sunday morning and being allowed to order a bowl of cereal sounded like they ranked as 'weekend vibes', if not 'best weekend ever' material for her little brother when it came to time with his dad. Which also made her think – again – they really didn't need to bring Ethan to Orlando or Star Wars or Jurassic Park or Harry Potter or the Space Center or Universal. Because he was a ridiculously low-key, easy-to-please kid. Even if he did take some things for granted. But maybe it was a good thing that with all Eth had been through so far in his short life that he was still able to just take some things for granted. Maybe that made him a little more normal and a little more his age.
"You aren't serious?" she'd mumbled at his desire to get up there in a Jedi cloak with the rest of the much smaller kids. But his puppy dog eyes told her he wasn't. But she still shook her head no at him. "You're too old. Let the little kids have a turn."
He'd sulked briefly but that'd dissipated when he realized you could build your own plastic lightsabre in the nearby gift store. It was fucking pandemonium in that souvenir shop. She'd removed herself – because she absolutely did not want to in any way be held accountable for anything Ethan spent his money on in that store. And, she knew she'd give Jay looks too about things he was looking at. Because he'd dove nearly as quickly as Eth into putting together the ultimate lightsabre of their not-so-little boy dreams.
She'd sort of prayed that they both didn't come out of there with $40 pieces of plastic. And she partially got her wish. Rather than lightsabres they'd emerged with little droids that you could put together and customize at another station in the store.
"It's way cheaper if you do two," Ethan told dropping his into her palm for her to admire.
"Mmm …," was all she provided to that, gazing at it. Because was she supposed to say. Though, since Jay had one in his hand too, she fully suspected it'd been him who'd paid for them and not Ethan.
He only gave her a goofy grin and plopped his into her hand too. "For you," he said like he was some kind of Prince Charming – which sometimes he was on his better days, but generally, he most definitely was not.
"You shouldn't have," she muttered, though she picked up each and gave them a cursory examination.
Ethan – because he was Ethan – had clearly just tried to make R2-D2 while Jay had gone with some more experimental-looking droid. She was it was inspired by something from the movies or the various TV series but she knew better than to ask or comment. Because if she did she'd get given an explanation. Not by Jay. By Eth and it would be never-ending.
E watched her. Or more watched her hands until he commented, "You're wearing your ring."
She gave him a little glance at that and then looked down at her hand. "I'm not at work."
***MINOR SPOILER FROM AFTERMATH, if/when I finish the Christmas chapters***
Eth fingered at where it was on her finger – like he was really looking at it for about the first time. "You're wearing Mom's necklace too," he said of Hank's gift – one that carried too much meaning in ways she was still trying to cope with and wrap her head around – he'd given her at Christmas.
Camille's necklace with the family's birth stones. The one that she knew from stories that Camille had wanted for a long time but they'd held off on until they were sure – had honestly felt – that their family was whole. But with three kids – two in private school and one just a baby and needing daycare and after-school care – it'd taken Hank a while to hoard away the money to get it for her. But Erin remembered when it'd been given to her. And how excited and happy Camille had been. How Erin had felt … overwhelmed too, in that her birthstone had been included on the pendant. That Camille had always had that necklace on from the moment she got it. But she really hadn't had it too many years before she'd died. And Erin had always thought – assumed – that it'd been buried with what was left of Camille. But it hadn't been. She'd learned that at Christmas. And she knew … how much meaning … and how hard it was for Hank to give that to her. But that it also … he'd given it to her at a time in her life that maybe she needed it most. The reminder in so many ways and so many levels.
"Mmm …," she acknowledged.
Though her hand unconsciously went up to the chain – like she'd started to realize it often did. While she worried or stressed. When Bunny appeared to try to fuck with her head and hurt her and confuse her about what and who her family was again and again. While she wanted to blow up at Hank and the things he'd brought upon the family and the hurt it'd caused and her disapproval about how he dealt with some things related to her brothers or to his grief. When she'd reached her frustration point with Ethan and his exhausting parade of needs combined with his teen-aged attitude and little boy innocence. When she questioned what the fuck her and Jay were doing and how they were going to settle into being a proper couple and a proper marriage and make a functional family. And somehow, even just touching it for a moment – moving the pendant back and forth along the chain and feeling the little insets of each of the charms – was enough to ground her again. For the moment.
***END OF SPOILER***
"I like when you wear them," Eth said off-handedly. "Especially your ring."
"I'm a fan of that too," Jay allowed a little coyly but also nudged down onto the little ledge Erin had been waiting on, sandwiching her little brother between them.
"It makes us all official-like," Ethan said. "Like an official family."
Erin butted her side against her brother's shoulder and gave Jay a thin smile at that. "I don't think we need them to make us all official-like," she teased.
Ethan shrugged and gave her a look. "But then it's like … people just know."
She gave a little nod and kept Jay's eyes. "People know," she agreed.
At least the important ones. Or the important ones who needed the reminders sometimes about who a family was and what a family looks like. But family was family.
She handed Ethan his droid back and reached to give Jay his, but Ethan objected. "We made it for you," he said.
She allowed an amused noise and looked at it again. "What am I supposed to do with it?"
"It's for your desk," Ethan said.
"What about for Jay's desk?" she cocked an eyebrow.
"He doesn't like clutter," Ethan gave on his behalf. "Just like dad." That part came with some distaste.
But it got another small amused sound out of Erin – and a smile.
"I love you," Jay allowed quietly, still giving her that dopey, almost apologetic grin about the purchase and about the junk that her brother would now expect to see sitting on her desk the next time he was in the bullpen.
"I know," she put back to him, arching her eyebrow.
"You know—" he grinned, and she knew he was going to tell her that they'd just played Han and Leia. But she didn't need to be told.
"I know," she arched her eyebrow even more.
He just smiled and shook his head. But she nudged Eth a bit more firmly as he examined his little knick-knack more carefully. "C'mon," she told him. "Let's get in line."
And Jay had taken her hand as they walked over to the line to scan in. And it'd felt nice. Casual. So much of the trip was just feeling casual. Not as forced and as stressed and as exhausted that some of their everyday life did. And she liked that. She liked seeing him like that. She liked feeling like that.
The queue for Star Tours pretty much blew anything they'd seen at Universal so-far out of the water. It just wasn't even comparable. The wait for the ride was an attraction in itself.
They'd been made to hurry along the forest moon of Endor— surrounded by Ewok cottages high up in the trees and a towering AT-AT. Then they weaved their way through a Rebel bunker until to exit into a bustling spaceport.
Ethan's jaw had dropped even more when R2-D2 and C-3PO weren't just stationary in the room – but were moving and talking while they tinkered away on a replica of the shuttle craft they'd apparently be boarding. They were completely surrounded by projection screens, glowing scanners and blinking droids. It was a full intergalactic airport – destination board updating them on their boarding times for a plethora of planets – complete with a customs and baggage screening area with more talkative and interactive droids.
It'd been another one of these lines where they had to stop and let people go by them because at every little animatronics stop and every video about every potential planetary destination they could arrive at, had Ethan stopping and gaze wide-eyed at the show. And phones getting pulled out to take photos and video – and again Hank getting bombarded with another round of media from their trip.
Ethan had near been bouncing when they got handed their 3D glasses and placed in line to catch their shuttle. Just buzzing with excitement.
Getting him to sit still and buckle into their Starspeeder had been nearly a chore. He'd been so excited that his tremor was at full bore and she had to help him get his seatbelt done up and his 3D glasses sitting correctly over his prescription sports goggles. He kept fidgeting with them to get them to sit just right and knocking them around. But he wanted to make sure he saw everything.
They'd barely had a chance to settle before a series of mishaps suddenly necessitated the starship having to launch, leaving C-3P0 – not the most proficient pilot – having to take control. Just as suddenly the shuttle was intercepted by Imperial forces looking for a Rebel Spy and fearing for the passengers' safety, C-3P0 had them all lurching into an unpredictable hyperspace fight, hopping from planet to planet - and battle to battle – in an attempt to escape.
The ride was billed as state-of-the-art. But Erin wasn't sure it was much more than a flight simulator – even if it was 3D and had some animatronic characters appearing in the shuttlecraft with them and interacting with them on their adventure. But Ethan thought it was much more. Even though it had left her baby brother looking a little green around the gills when they were disboarding - he'd loved it. And he hadn't even released his seatbelt before he'd declared – and then begged – to go again.
The ride was supposedly different each time. There were apparently 57 different ride experiences you could end up with when the Starspeeder randomly visited different planets and encountered different characters and were pursued by different bad guys.
The oceans of Naboo or a starship battle above Coruscant. Boba Fett or Vader. If Ethan had his way – they'd ride the thing until they had all 57 different outcomes. Or, maybe more importantly, until he managed to be sitting in the seat that had him selected as the "Rebel spy". Normally, having his face projected up on a screen and drawing attention of a group of people was not anything her brother wanted but he seemed to desperately want to be a Rebel spy. She thought he hoped it would cause them to relent in buying him the tshirt that said as much. Or that he could use it as a reasonable justification to drop his money on said tshirt.
As it was, they'd ended up having to give him the choice of going on the ride again – a forty-minute wait – or letting him do his endless huming-and-haing in Tatooine Traders, a Star Wars store right out of his dreams. He'd still hum-and-ha'ed about that choice. So they'd had to tell him the clock was ticking. He took too long to decide and there wasn't going to be a decision to be made, because they were going to have to head to their next booked ride time.
That had got him moving. Sometimes you had to put a boot up his ass. A Hank saying. But there was truth to it.
They'd gone through the ride again. It wasn't an entirely new ride. They got two new planets out of three. But it didn't seem to matter where you technically were –the ride just jerked and severed you around the same way. Not that it really mattered because Ethan was smiling from ear-to-ear and him and Jay were instantly engaged in some sort of in-depth discussion about what planets they'd been on and what battles they'd got to speed through. Apparently it was pretty fantastic that they'd gotten to do battle above Coruscant and to fly through the Death Star and even better that they'd fought with the First Order on Jakku and flown with the Millennium Falcon! Apparently.
She didn't really mind being excluded from that talk. But it was about the most talkative she'd seen Jay all trip. Or maybe ever. And she liked seeing them both that happy. A lot.
The guys had still been so psyched about it that they'd walked around to see what the wait-time was at that point. They'd clearly been hoping they could squeeze in a third run before they had to make the walk to the Guardians of the Galaxy ride – which Jay had emphasized they should make sure they got there with their full time window since it was the newest ride in the park, had basically just opened and the new movie would be releasing in a matter of weeks. Basically, he expected that even with them having a booked ride time – they were going to be waiting a while.
There wasn't going to be enough padding for a third attempt to be the Rebel Spy – or to get to Hoth, which seemed to be another priority for both of them. Erin could tell that they were both a little disappointed. But she'd managed to drag them away from the area – without tears – and with the lax promise that if there was time later in the night, they could always loop back. She knew that her and Jay knew that likely wasn't going to happen but it was enough of a promise for Eth. And, they did manage to let him spend 10 minutes in the store too. Which was more than enough because he pretty much wanted to buy everything. Even Jay looked like he was considering a tshirt.
Erin had only cocked any eyebrow at him when he'd shown it to her. "Do you ever want to get laid again?" she put flatly. It'd gone back on the rack.
But he'd still showed her a fucking BB-8 tank top and an R2-D2 dress like that would be something she'd ever put on. And had placed a vote with Ethan when the kid had come over with a Darth Vader barbecue apron that he thought should be purchased for his dad. She'd placed a veto on that purchase. Though, had let it slide when Eth decided he wanted to spend his money on a Stormtrooper ringer tee. It'd made Jay casually sulk a bit.
"Why's he get the cool stuff?" he'd put to her as they worked to stuff the purchase into their day pack.
"Because he's still a kid," she'd provided.
"Kid at heart doesn't count?" he asked.
She raised her eyebrow. "You want me to take you seriously wearing a Wookie tshirt?"
"You saying Chewie doesn't turn you on?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.
She didn't grace that with a response. Reality was that some day Ethan would think twice about his Star Wars, Jurassic Park, dinosaur and Cubs wardrobe. And at some point he'd have the sense to convert the plaid or shades of grey that dominated their family.
The Guardians of the Galaxy was fun too. It was nearly a forty-five minute wait even with having a booked time. But they were blasting the soundtrack from the movie – that they'd all developed a bit of an affinity for and regularly had records with the tracks playing at home. Ethan had shown of his version of "dancing", which wasn't much more than demonstrating the upper body strength he'd developed to prop himself up and balance on his crutches while doing some sort of moves that vaguely resembled some kind of cross between hip hop and break dancing. But at the RIC there was a whole little crew of kids on crutches and in wheelchairs with all kinds of muscular and spinal disorders or paralysis that had developed the weird form of dance movements. Most of them were much better than Ethan but he'd seemed to have worked up the courage to go over and at least loiter near them and try to earn some of their movements at the RIC's dances.
Not that Guardians of the Galaxy's soundtrack – or the queue – was the best place to be showing off any of that. But it hadn't stopped Jay either who had a momentarily goofy moment showing off the Star Lord dance, prance, shuffle and jive from the opening of the film and looking at her directly in the eyes and mouthing a long with the music, "Baby, cause you're fine and you're mine and you look so divine. Come and get your love."
She'd shaken her head and rolled her eyes at him. But it'd also made her smile a ridiculous amount. Because in the limited moments that he let his walls down and was himself – he was such a nerd. But really, he was just a really nice, goofy, caring guy. And she wished he'd let more people see that. But at the same time, she knew he had his darker tendencies – and impatience and temper – that were just as much a part of him. So, it really just made her feel special that she was on a very short list of people that he at least occasionally let some of those walls down. That she at least got to know the nice, goofy, caring side existed in him. That she not just knew it was there in theory – that she got to see it in practice. And that he'd some how at least let part of her family – Ethan – in on that secret beyond the wall too.
Outside of the music there'd once again between lots to look at in the Collector's Fortress. Lots of items from the first movie – which she'd been made to endure since Jay had given it to Ethan at least as many times as she'd had to sit through the Force Awakens and Jurassic World in the past year – and a bunch more that the guys were convinced were teasers for what was to come in the next movie. Which Jay and Ethan had a movie date to go to in a few weeks. She wasn't entirely clear if she was invited on this outing. She also wasn't entirely sure if she cared if she wasn't. Because … nerds.
Ethan had been more transfixed with Rocket popping out from all these unexpected places as they kept inching forward in the line. Ethan had decided Rocket was pretty much his spirit animal – given all his scars and medical experiences he'd been through. "And he's short," he usually included. Though that night they'd got told that he was "Rocket with a side of Groot." Which was probably a pretty accurate description of her little brother. Almost heartbreakingly so. Not that he seemed particularly bothered by his statement of fact. But that that might've been because Jay had provided that he was Star Lord with a side of Rocket. Which was just as heart-wrenching in its own way.
"And you're Gamora," Ethan had informed her again.
She'd glared at him. "Ethan, sharing the same reproductive system does not make me Gamora. You're being sexist."
He'd scrunched his nose at her. "No, I'm not," he'd argued. "She's bad ass. And she was adopted. By a dad who wanted her to work for him. And she acts all like she's rude and better than everyone but she actually is really caring and really loves her family. Especially her sister."
She raised her eyebrow at him. "And you got all that out of the movie?"
Ethan shrugged. "Yep. So, basically, you're Gamora. Or you can be Gamora with a side of Groot. If you want. But you have to say it …"
"Say what?" she put to him.
"Say—"
But she interrupted him. Because she knew exactly what he wanted her to say and she did her little impression. "I am Groot," she said, getting a big grin out of her brother. "I am Groot," she added for good measure, holding onto his shoulder and giving him a little rock and shake.
He was such a pain in the ass. But that usually faded. Like then. When he smiled at her and briefly draped into her for a half hug, her gripping at his bicep.
"I am Groot," she added on last time. A replacement to 'I love you'. But they both knew that Groot loved Rocket and Rocket loved Groot. So if Eth was her Rocket – she might as well be Groot.
When they finally did end up at the front of the line – and readying to get on Rocket's planned escape with a side of rescuing the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy, who'd they'd already seen stashed up in cages arguing with Rocket about the absurdity of his plan and how slow he was going, to which he counter he was always the one who had to do everything – she thought Ethan might bail on them.
It was a rollercoaster. Which they hadn't expected. And it looked like it was all going to be in the dark too. And it had harnesses – so it was pretty clear there was going to be some kind of loop or corkscrew. Somehow that had all slipped by in the planning. Or Jay had just decided not to tell Eth and to let the kid decide for himself when they were standing there – because that was the method he was pushing for when they were in Harry Potter land too. Let the kid enjoy the queue and let him make his own decision on if he could handle the ride.
Erin was a little nervous about doing that. But neither her or Jay said anything to Ethan. They just stood there like this was entirely what they expected. They didn't hype it up. And they didn't try to pressure him one way or another. They just let him decide. And even though Erin could see her little brother watching people get in and out of the coaster cars and see his little brain trying to process, he hadn't said anything about being nervous or not wanting to go.
The most that got said when they were boarding was, "I want to ride with Jay."
And OK. So the two of them had sat in front while she'd sat behind. And it was a great ride. Though the rocket at the start – from zero to 60 miles per zero in a split second – really had her hoping that Ethan had his head and neck firmly back when they were propelled directly into the ride.
The ride had gone completely careening into darkness – songs from the movie just blasting into their ears in the headrest. They'd gotten Cherry Bomb. They'd literally rocketed to their escape – slowing just enough to make out some illuminated landmarks and the characters popping out at them again in their own efforts to elude the Collector. The rest of the time it was a streak of lights and orbs blinding around them.
There'd been a loop and two corkscrews. The music was so loud and echoing in her ears that she couldn't tell if Eth was screaming or not. But she could just sort of see that both Eth and Jay still had their hands clutched on the restraint, so that was likely a good sign. Jay wasn't having to try to hold Eth into place or grip at his hand to keep him calm.
When they'd finally slowed it was more of a soaring halt, a wormhole swirling around them for their re-entry. Their mission was complete but the Guardians of the Galaxy were off on their next adventure.
Ethan had managed to clamber out of his seat first and looked at her – with all smiles. So … mission was a success too. He'd survived a rollercoaster – on his own accord – and a pretty intense one at that. And actually seemed to enjoy it. Enough that he wanted to go on it again – but it was nearly a three hour wait in the general line. So they weren't even going to attempt that.
It'd been hard enough to get Ethan through the gift shop in that area because he'd decided to waffle on whether or not he wanted – or needed – a Rocket Raccoon stuffed animal.
"Ethan, you're almost fourteen," she pressed at him. "You do not need a stuffed raccoon."
He clearly hadn't liked hearing that. He'd liked hearing it about as much as Jay had liked her vetoing his Chewbacca tshirt. So instead he'd tried to convince her that Henry needed a stuffed Rocket. But she wasn't buying it would ever actually end up with their nephew and she wasn't going to let Eth spend his money on something that stupid.
Thankfully they'd been saved by the "FastPast" and their next timeslot coming up. It was proving a decent way to keep Eth moving.
So they'd walked over to the Tower or Terror. It'd been another fun one. Ethan had seemed to flocculate between creeped out and fascinated as they worked their way through the old hotel and then the little haunting trick they pulled in the one holding area. And he'd looked at the elevator attendants very speculatively, even leaning over to them and whispering, "They're either zombies or possessed." She thought that was the point but Ethan wasn't too sure what to make of it. But he did know he loved the Twilight Zone music. And after they were on the ride and he was getting real air in the drops – it'd been yet another ride that he wanted to go on again. Actually, they all did. But it's wait time wasn't exactly short either. And they'd again had to keep moving.
They'd checked into their reservation at the Launch Bay. It was another moment that Ethan's eyes just kept getting wider and wider. The first section they went through was a little theater where they were playing a bit of a catch-up video about the Star Wars universe for all the parents … and older sisters … and fiancées … who didn't entirely get all the intricacies of it. But it ended with a big reveal as they got to screen the new Star Wars trailer that had just been released a couple days before. Ethan had already watched it on his tablet. But it up on the big screen with the sound system – he was already planning their next Christmastime Star Wars outing. Apparently Star Wars was becoming part of their holiday season.
They'd then been released a large area with props from all the movies. Helmets, lightsabres, costumes, ships, blasters. She knew that Ethan and Jay likely could've spent the rest of the evening wandering around the exhibit. Really, they likely would've been fine if they'd foregone all the rides and spent their entire Galactic Night in there.
As it was, they took their time. Ethan wandered – often ahead of them in his excitement – coming back occasionally to motor-mouth at them about what was up ahead. But she'd just kept Jay's pace. She'd let him read all the little placards that he wanted. Reading them too. And she felt like she was getting another glimpse of that little boy and the happier childhood memories. That he was sharing with her in an indirect way. A reality made more true when he reached and gripped onto their hand as they made their way through the hall – not letting go for their entire tour.
One of the attendants at finally noticed how slow they were going and had come over with a Stormtrooper and an Imperial Droid to indicate that they had the dinner reservations they were looking for. They were basically ordered – by a guy with a blaster – to get moving a bit faster.
He'd pointed them over to a character meet-and-greet they hadn't expected. They'd been offered the option of meeting Kylo Ren or Darth Vader. Jay had looked to Ethan – even though Erin knew that Jay's answer would've instantly been Vader when Eth could've gone either way, likely leaning toward Ren since that was really his Star Wars introduction.
But instead Ethan had looked the guy right in the eye and said, "Don't we get to meet any of the good guys? Like the Rebels …"
The attendant had offered a thin smile at that and explained that they weren't yet at the Rebel Launch Hangar. So the Empire was likely still hunting them down at this point. That he was sure after they got into the Rebel Launch Hangar they'd encounter other characters from the Star Wars universe. And he'd provided a little hint-hint-nudge-nudge that after they completed their "mission" at dinner, they'd likely have the opportunity to meet-and-greet some notables … like maybe Chewbacca or the droids.
That seemed to appease Eth a bit. And she'd been surprised when he'd agreed to meet Darth Vader. She wasn't sure if he was doing that for Jay or just because – he'd done it so nonchalantly. Just as her usually shy-around-strangers little brother informed Lord Vader that "Our dad is pretty much you and this is pretty much Han and Liea." The introduction had meant that Darth Vader had done a whole lot more interacting with her and Jay than Ethan – giving them a hard time, demanding to know where the Death Star plans were, and threatening to encase Jay in carbonite. Though, they did get a nice family photo out of the moment. Yet another that got pinged over to Hank. One he'd actually replied back to.
"Erin, is he your father?" he'd put in such a way, Erin could read the dry-flat tone of his attempted joke. And one that showed he actually cared about – and listened to – Ethan's Star Wars dribble too.
"According to Ethan, yes," she said. She knew that maybe it needed more context or explanation – but she also knew that it didn't. That Hank would get it. And accept it.
The service – and food – they'd once again got at dinner had been … mindblowing. Because walking into a restaurant in Chicago and laying out Ethan's dietary restrictions didn't come with those kinds of options. But they'd bent over backwards to be prepared for him and to have something to offer him. He'd been thrilled that he gotten blue milk – that was more of a rice milk-banana smoothie rather than the milkshake on the menu. But he didn't care. He'd sucked it down so fast that he'd actually lamented about brain freeze.
Ethan had so much choice – something he wasn't used to – he again waffled on what to get. Until he literally settled on waffles, a treat that she wasn't even sure how they would be able to make for him at home. It came with breaded chicken fingers, which were also something that were near impossible to get him at home and when they did it at home for him it was with almond meal or shredded coconut. Which he liked but just wasn't the same as chicken fingers for a kid that age. She thought it was a little weird choice given some of his other options, but she was pretty sure the "Dark Fried" name of the menu item and the fact the waffles were imprinted with Darth Vader's helmet were what had won him over.
Jay had finally gotten his steak he'd been wanting – and apparently it was a good one, even though it was billed as "The Kessel Run". But he'd been happy with the sides, which included a tomato stuffed with a bacon, cheddar and spinach custard and horseradish potatoes that he'd seemed bordering orgasmic about. She'd settled on the "Dune Ensalada". It was a puffy pastry stuffed with smoked salmon, crab asparagus and gruyere. And with that being so rich, it was nice that it was balanced out with a side salad that was actually heaping with Bibb lettuce, watermelon radishes, grape tomatoes, and some sort of crisped parmesan wafer. It was the sort of meal that would've gotten Hank's seal of approval. It had Eth's too. Especially when they'd brought out a board of cheese and fruit and veggie skewers – labeled as lightsabres – and crackers shaped like C-3P0. And hummus and chips, labeled as "Sith and Chips" and done up to look like Darth Maul in the black sesame topping.
And if the steak hadn't clearly gotten Jay's seal of approval – dessert had. He finally got his key lime pie. Maybe not authentic – and shaped like Yoda – but that hadn't stopped him from digging in. Though, she would give him that he shared. Maybe a little begrudgingly. They'd even brought out Eth a little cup of fruit salad with a melon cut like Yoda's head – and even more excitingly a chocolate cupcake that he could eat. He'd inhaled it even faster than he had the blue milk.
But he'd still managed to sit quietly and gaze around the restaurant – at its theming which really did make them feel like they were sitting on another unused set on the movie or that the Rebel bases really did exist – watching the little shows and character interactions going on. Boba Fett had come over to their table at one point and he was thrilled. There'd been more pictures. Though, he'd looked at the other characters cautiously. Greedo had tried to interact with them at one point but Eth played shy. And the Jawas wandering around must've again taken the hint that they weren't interested in trading anything. Either that or the people under the costumes could sense Eth's apprehension and stayed back. Though, he did wander over to stare at the Cantina Band at one point, seemingly unsure if they were real or more animatronics. The verdict when he'd returned was that there were "definitely not robots".
Eth had wanted to try to steal the Ghost model that was on their table – actually speculating if they could go and claim the X-Wing Fighter or the Millenium Falcon that were on some of the other tables. Thankfully they were screwed to the table and she didn't have to have some sort of discussion with her brother about how stupid and disrespectful he was being. Instead he'd settled for waiting for them to finish their drinks – a Rebel Red and an Imperial Blue … basically some overprice bourdon and vodka – so he could claim the light-up cubes in them of a Death Star and X-Wing instead.
They really pushed it with how long they stayed there at that point. Erin could tell Jay was enjoying the atmosphere – and his meal and drink. And Eth seemed content to go wandering the place gazing at all the posters and props and decorations in the restaurant. But they'd eventually pulled themselves out of their chairs and gone to meet Chewie.
"See … sexy …," Jay had whispered to her while they waited for their photo op.
"I can smell him from here …," she scrunched her nose. Likely a costume odor in Florida heat and humidity – but she still felt it was likely an accurate representation of how a Wookie smelled. Jay had been more thrilled to meet Chewie than Eth but the Wookie had taken a real liking with Eth. His elbow got rested on Ethan's head for the picture. And Jay looked like he'd just met his hero. Apparently it would've only been better if he'd gotten to meet Han Solo – but he'd settle for Harrison Ford.
"Because then it'd be like meeting Indy and Han," Ethan had provided.
But he'd barely gotten it out when he spotted BB-8 on their exit. He was starstruck – again. And he'd gone over to talk at the thing like it could actually here – in a similar way as he talked to Bear. The droid got told all about how he built robots and his Robotics Team and their visit to the Space Center and how he'd made a rover at home. And the thing had beeped at him like it actually knew what he was saying or cared.
Ethan clearly wanted to stay there longer and stare at the droid trying to figure out how it worked, but it was getting close to midnight. And they'd started to wander toward the front of the fireworks. They'd endured the dance-off in the Hoopla show and then stood in pure awe as the music of Star Wars blasted from speakers around the park. As the fireworks burst into the sky in sequence with the musical numbers. And as images from the movies were projected larger-than-life on the buildings surrounding them. As Ethan just stared at it slack-jawed, not moving a muscle.
And it'd been Erin who reached and found Jay's hand that time – giving it a squeeze. He'd pulled his eyes away from the show to look at her. There was a question in it.
"Thank you," she said.
He scrunched his eyebrows. "For what?"
"For this," she said. "For doing something for him. That his brother couldn't. Wouldn't."
He just made a dismissive face and gave a little shrug. "It was selfish," he said.
But she shook her head and squeezed his hand tighter. "You aren't that."
And he wasn't. Not with her. Not with his time. Not with her brother. Not with her family. Their family.
And she saw that over and over again. She saw it sitting right in front of her right then – as he tiredly waited to get back to the car, as he held on to Ethan, and how she'd let him be the one to get them back to the hotel. To take his turn to drive. To lead. To direct them. Because he did know how. And he did a good job when she let him too.
The couple in front of them, though, on that tram just gave Jay and Ethan a sort of sad smile. One that Erin recognized as soon as she saw it and one that made her smile fade a little – because she instantly knew why they were there.
"Our son would've loved it too," the man said, giving Jay a weak smile. Jay actually met his eyes when he said it – and Erin knew with the slight shift in how he was holding himself that he'd just read the loss that was on their faces too.
"He was a real Daddy's Boy too," the woman tried to lighten it, nudging her husband a little – gently, lovingly, teasingly, like she only played along with all the Star Wars to-do and geekdom for him … or them … when their had been a little boy involved. Which was also something Erin understood. And she offered her own little smile to Jay – some quiet offer for happiness that he had "a boy" in his life to play "daddy" too.
Which wasn't something Erin made a habit of correcting. Because it really wasn't worth it. It wasn't a discussion to have with strangers. But in this case she felt the need to say something. So they knew.
So she reached and swiped at Eth's sweaty, matted buzz cut from earlier that day. And he'd just again squirreled into Jay – clearly wanting to be left alone. To sleep after all his excitement.
"He's definitely a Daddy's Boy," she acknowledged. Because he undisputedly was. And in so many ways – mostly good – he was so much like his dad. "But he's definitely Big Sister and Big-Brother-In-Law's Baby Bro too." The woman gave her a quiet look of acknowledgement and a little nod, almost an apology, so Erin offered, "But we have a mom who would've loved to be here too. And a brother who I think would be sad to be missing it."
And the woman's face changed again – and so did the man's – because they knew too. And she just offered them her own weak smile before sitting down. "You have a beautiful family," she said.
And Erin knew that to be true too. She really did.
AUTHOR NOTE: This is Part 2 of their day at the Disney Park. Par1 was posted yesterday.
As mentioned in the previous AN, I'm likely going to take a bit of a break from the Florida chapters and work on some other things. But I will still write the Harry Potter chapter. I promise.
For the ride people …
Star Tours exists.
Hyperspace Mountain exists at Disneyland.
The Jedi Training show for kids exists.
There are Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Frozen stuff at Hollywood Studios.
The Toy Story ride exists.
The Cars ride exists at one of the Disneyland Parks.
The Great Movie Ride used to exist.
The Animation Studio used to exist.
The Launch Bay does exist — and it sometimes is set up as a restaurant and/or hosts a dessert party before the fireworks.
The Hoopla Dance-Off is usually held at special Star Wars weekends/events. Of the past.
The fireworks show exists.
Tower of Terror exists.
The Aerosmith rollercoaster exists.
Guardians of the Galaxy will be opening in Disneyland soon. It is a replacement of the Tower of Terror ride — not a rollercoaster.
And, finally, as usual, your reviews, comments and feedback are appreciated.