A/N: I just realized I totally fucked up the timeline, and I'm super pissed at myself for it. Harry should have been born by now, but I somehow put an extra year in there while plotting the story out chronologically, so as a result, Harry will only be a few months old when he becomes the Boy Who Lived instead of a year and three months. Sorry if that bothers you, but there's no way I'm going back and rewriting this, despite how much it destroys my canon OCD.
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Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Chapter 42: Of Red October Afternoons
September passed into October quietly, and the weather began to cool into a comfortable chill. Remus and Rowan continued their strange routine of quiet company, and though a part of Rowan felt some consolation after their frank conversation at the beginning of the month, she found that her walls still remained up. She still caught herself looking at him sometimes, half-expecting him to withdraw into himself again, but then he'd look up and smile questioningly at her, and the moment would pass.
Evan Rosier's face still appeared at times in her dreams, taunting her with her weaknesses and her master's death. Sometimes it was just his voice. Sometimes it was the feeling of his tongue scalding up her cheek. She'd wake in a cold sweat with terror in her blood and frantically look around for Remus only to find her bed empty. She'd never admit to him how, even a year after they'd broken up, she still expected to see him asleep next to her, and the sharp reminder of their previous separation made her quite bitter – she knew she still wasn't ready to forgive him yet.
Still, most evenings were spent with him happily, if quietly, and though she knew he'd eventually leave her again, she decided to make the best of it for the time being. He had begun holding her hand again on their weekend afternoons out, but after that night in the rain, he hadn't kissed her again, and she was grateful for it. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to keep her wits together if he tried to push for more.
Halloween was upon them quickly, and the Weasleys invited all of their friends to the Burrow for a party, mostly for the children's enjoyment. Rowan hadn't seen the Weasley children in a few months, and they were all very pleased to see her, particularly the young twins Fred and George who were a year and a half old now. The two were already quite the mayhem-makers – Molly was looking more and more haggard from chasing after them as they grew. Rowan offered to watch over them for the afternoon.
"I never thought having newborns would be easier than toddlers. I'm terrified of what I'll do when they begin to run!" she exclaimed exasperatedly after catching them crawling onto the kitchen table for their mother's wand. Rowan laughed and hauled the two up into her arms to give their mother a slight reprieve.
Charlie, the adventurous 8 year-old, was quite fond of Rowan, as was Billy, who was 10, but she could never get Percy to warm up to her in the same way. He was very taken with Lily though, which Rowan thought was somehow fitting. The 4 year-old had quite the old soul and seemed more interested in books than playing with his brothers. Rowan could already tell he'd be a candidate for Prefect in his Hogwarts years, as would Billy, who was possibly the most precocious and mild-mannered boy she'd ever met, after Remus. She smiled despite herself at the thought.
Rowan, Sirius, and James sat outside in the yard with the boys carving pumpkins, except for Percy, who had opted to stay inside with Lily to read. Mina, who wasn't particularly good with kids, volunteered to help Molly in the kitchen, and Rowan wasn't quite sure where Remus was. He'd disappeared with Arthur as soon as they'd arrived – the older man had no doubt wanted to show Remus whatever new Muggle contraption he'd acquired, as Remus was one of the only people in their circle of friends who was both familiar with Muggle life and patient enough to hear Arthur out. She just hoped it didn't end poorly like the last time when she'd had to pull glass from Remus' arms after Arthur had blown up a television by plugging it into some large, strange buzzing device. He'd called it a "genator" or "jenrate" or something like that.
"Rowan, look!" Charlie cried out.
Rowan glanced up from the large blanket in the grass where she sat with the twins to see Charlie laughing madly at Sirius, who had placed an enormous, emptied out pumpkin on his head. He waved his arms in a silly fashion, obviously blinded by the thick plant on his face, which delighted the young boy. She laughed along with him as Sirius pulled the pumpkin from his head with a grin. Bits of seeds stuck messily in his hair and to his cheeks. Mina wouldn't be pleased.
"What're you planning on carving, Charlie?" she asked. She saw Fred reaching for a pumpkin-carving tool that had dropped off of the table and flicked her wand at it so that it shot back up and out of his reach. The toddler turned and seemed to glare at her. She grinned cheekily at him.
"A dragon!" Charlie shouted, waving his arms wildly and roaring loudly. Bill looked up from his pumpkin with a sort of exasperated expression. Sirius laughed and set the drawing tools in front of the boy.
"What about you, Bill?" she asked the older boy.
"An acromantula," he responded smartly, continuing to carve out pieces of his pumpkin.
Sirius frowned. "That's a bit dark, isn't it?" he said warily. He eyed the boy with an apprehensive look, but Bill just continued on, either not noticing or not caring. Rowan amusedly thought again how similar Bill was to Remus – he'd already mastered ignoring Sirius as well. James sat next to the boy with his own pumpkin, hacking away at it with his wand with bits of seeds and fruit flying. Rowan thought to herself that James needed more supervision than the boys.
"And what're you carving, ickle Jamiekins?" Sirius asked saccharinely.
James shot him a glare but then announced proudly, "A lion!"
Rowan eyed him with exasperation. "How many times have I told you – you're supposed to empty the pumpkin out first!" she scolded.
James glared at her as well. "Says the girl whose pumpkins always end up looking like melted garden gnomes," he retorted.
Rowan glared and grabbed a small bit of discarded pumpkin pulp from the grass, throwing it at James' head, which splattered against the side of his face with a sickening squish. Charlie, Sirius, and Bill all burst into laughter as James blinked dumbstruck and reached up slowly to wipe the goop that was now plastered to his glasses. He glared at Rowan and reached a hand into the bottom of his pumpkin, scooping out an overflowing handful of pulp and chucking it at her.
Luckily, she anticipated his move and quickly shouted, "Protego!" just as the pulp left his hands. An invisible shield spread in front of her and the twins, and the pulp ricocheted chaotically, spraying the table with pulp and seed. Sirius squealed in a womanly fashion and Charlie shouted with glee as he was hit was a barrage of fruit matter. Bill, seemingly on the same wavelength as Rowan, ducked behind James just as he saw her pull her wand out, allowing the man to take the blow for him. He, Rowan, and the twins laughed madly as they watched the other three scrape pulp from their clothes and faces.
"Row!" Fred and George shouted in unison, flailing their arms victoriously. Rowan grinned and tickled the two boys.
"Yes, Rowan wins!" she cheered. They shrieked gleefully and clapped their chubby hands, dancing in place with clumsy feet. James and Sirius groaned.
As the men wiped themselves off, vanishing away bits of pumpkin guts, Charlie sat back down at the table, apparently unperturbed by the mess and pulp that still stuck to his hair and clothes.
"Sirius, do you know how to draw a dragon?" Charlie asked. His brows were furrowed with frustration. Red crayon was scribbled messily all over his pumpkin with no discernible dragon to be seen. Sirius peeled a long string of pulp from his hair and then frowned.
"Err, no, I'm afraid I'm not very good with that sort of thing," he said guiltily, flicking the pumpkin bits away.
"Can you at least try?" Charlie asked hopefully, holding the crayon up. Sirius took it from him apprehensively and stared down at the pumpkin with deep concentration. He set the crayon down on the pumpkin's surface but didn't move. Rowan thought he looked quite constipated.
"Almost done?" a voice called out.
Sirius' head jerked up and he beamed. "Moony! You can draw a dragon, right?"
Rowan looked up to see Remus standing next to the table by Charlie and Sirius looking quite amused at the mess. He glanced over at her with a gentle smile before turning back to the pumpkin at hand.
"I can give it a go," he said, taking the crayon from Sirius' hand. "Do you want just the face or the whole thing?" he asked Charlie.
"The face with big teeth! I want it to look like it's breathing fire when we put the candle in!" he exclaimed, gesturing wildly. Remus grinned and set into his work.
Rowan watched as he scrubbed the preexisting scribbles on the pumpkin then began with long, graceful strokes over the surface. Charlie's face seemed to melt happily, eyes shining with excitement as he watched Remus sketch out his beloved dragon.
"Yes, yes, yes! Thank you, Remus!" he cried out as Remus handed the pumpkin back to him. Remus smiled and patted him on the shoulder as he started grabbing for the carving utensils. Sirius muttered something under his breath that sounded like, "I could do it too…"
Remus moved towards the blanket and sat down next to Rowan. He grinned roguishly at her, and her chest tightened.
"You've got something here," he said, reaching forward and pulling a piece of pulp from her hair. "Did you guys blow up an entire pumpkin or something?" She grinned.
"James tried to pick a fight that he couldn't win," she said cheekily. James glared and pouted but sullenly turned back to hacking away at his pumpkin, obviously defeated. She snickered and then turned back to the toddlers.
Fred was gazing intently into the hole at the bottom of the pumpkin that Sirius had worn on his face earlier while George had waddled over to her as soon as he'd seen Remus arrive. He clung to her chest and seemed to glare at Remus.
"Row is!" he blurted. Remus frowned.
"Seems like I have competition," he said, eyeing the toddler, who had buried his face in Rowan's shoulder. She smiled and gently pulled a few bits of orange goo from his hair and the sleeves of his shirt.
"He's just getting cranky. I think it's time for their nap," she said chidingly. George shook his head and mumbled something incoherent. She smiled and glanced over at Fred. He had somehow passed out sitting up with his cheek mashed into the side of the pumpkin. She sighed.
"Yep, I should take them inside. It'll be easier to clean them up now while they're incoherent," she said. "Come on, Georgie. Let's go see Mummy," she cooed, pulling George into her arms and slowly moving to her feet. He shook his head again but didn't protest, leaning his head into her chest. She smiled, a wave of affectionate warmth spreading through her.
"Can you get Freddy for me?" she said, gesturing down to the other toddler. Remus was gazing at her with an intense look but seemed to snap from a strange trance. He quickly looked over to the other boy. Holding his head gently, he pulled the pumpkin from his grasp and then scooped him up. The boy looked even smaller in Remus' long arms. Rowan watched the gentle look on his face and felt her chest constrict painfully. She looked away quickly and started towards the house before her mind got the best of her again.
"Bring me a butterbeer when you come back, will you?" Sirius shouted after them.
"Me too!" James called. Rowan waved an arm back.
When they reached the kitchen, Rowan was surprised to see Arthur, not Molly, standing in front of the oven with a frilly red apron and oven mitts on. The entire scene looked quite silly, especially with the red of the apron clashing with his ginger hair. She looked around to see that he was the only one there.
"That's a good look for you, Artie," she teased. Remus snickered. The older man looked up, surprised, and then looked down at his apron and grinned, blushing slightly.
"Perhaps I'll start wearing it on missions then," he joked. "I've been told red is my color." Rowan grinned.
"Where is Molly?" she asked curiously. Arthur smiled stiffly – was he nervous?
"Ah, I'm letting her take a load off her feet – figured she'd been up and about enough recently with the twins, eh?" he said. Rowan nodded but eyed him carefully. He seemed sort of off.
"Looks like you did a good job of tuckering them out," he continued amusedly, gesturing towards the toddlers. "Here, let me take them." He held her arms out for George.
"No, it's okay, Arthur. You've got enough on your hands, and they're covered in pulp right now. We can take them upstairs and clean them up," Rowan said.
Arthur smiled gratefully. "Ah, thank you, Winnie. You're fantastic," he said. "Well, all the wipes and diapers should be upstairs in the nursery. You don't need to change their clothes – they'll just get them dirty again anyway. I think Lily is up there with Percy right now. He'll probably need to go down for a nap too."
The two headed out of the kitchen, running into Mina, who was coming back in from setting out some food in the living room for their friends. She smirked at the bits of seeds and pulp that covered her friends.
"You're a wreck. Did you blow up a pumpkin outside?" she asked cheekily. Rowan laughed as the question was repeated.
"Something like that. You should see your boyfriend," she said jokingly. Mina rolled her eyes.
"God, he's such a child," she said with heavy exasperation.
"Oh no! Mina! Help!" came a shout from behind them. Mina's head jerked up and they turned to see Arthur hopping around the oven in a strange panicked dance with smoke billowing out of it.
"Shit!" Mina cursed before running into the kitchen as if it were a battlefield with wand brandished. Rowan and Remus shared a grimace and exited the kitchen quickly, leaving a smoking trail behind them.
Rowan led them up the winding stairs with the two small boys asleep in their arms. When they reached the nursery, they saw Lily and Percy asleep in a large chair in the corner with a book open in her lap. He was curled up with his face in the crook of her shoulder, their red hair melding together. They both grinned at the sight and continued quietly towards the cribs.
"I don't think they need a diaper change, but we should clean them up before they get any weird rashes," she whispered to Remus. He nodded and reached for the box of baby wipes.
They quietly wiped the two down, vanishing the pulp away from their clothes, though the yellow stains remained. She checked their diapers just in case to find them still fresh, then tucked them in, hoping they'd stay asleep for a while. She plopped down on the floor and let out a tired sigh.
"Looks like you need a nap too," Remus teased, sitting down next to her.
"Yeah, I have no idea how Molly can handle them all the time, let alone three other boys," she said exasperatedly. "That woman deserves an award."
Rowan looked around the room and saw evidence of the twin's mischief everywhere – various toys had pieces interchanged, almost grotesquely, and there were even smeared blue handprints and what looked like scorch marks on the wall. They would certainly be talented – albeit eccentric – wizards.
She then noticed that Remus was staring at her with that intense look again, mouth tightened with concentration.
"What?" she asked uncomfortably. That look was disarming. She felt like he was scanning through her mind. He didn't respond for a moment, just continued to stare. She shifted again.
"Do you ever want to have children?" he asked quietly. Rowan's stomach lurched at the sudden question.
"I suppose so," she said, eyeing him warily. "Not anytime soon, of course, but yeah, someday."
Remus' expression darkened, and Rowan's stomach lurched again.
"Why do you ask?" she asked carefully.
Remus seemed to think again. She could see his mouth twitch with frustration.
"I don't know if I can," he said quietly. "I'm afraid they'd be… like me."
Rowan's lungs constricted. He looked up at the cribs to see George's red hair, his tiny chest rising and falling slowly. She could see the muscle in Remus' jaw twitch, and understanding washed over her.
"Of course you can," she said fervently.
Remus turned back to her and frowned. She wasn't sure if she should shake him or laugh.
"There's no evidence of individuals with lycanthropy passing on their condition to their own children," she said seriously. Remus gazed at her disbelievingly, searchingly. "There's been one case of two werewolves mating mid-transformation, and the woman ended up giving birth to a litter of highly intelligent normal wolves. But besides that, there is no data to even suggest that it's possible to pass on the condition."
Remus remained silent. She could see her words washing over him slowly. He looked away from her and stared down at his hands in his lap. It was as though he were breathing her words in, letting them fill his lungs. She thought back to the end of their Seventh Year when she'd read his letter from the I.C.E. and they'd laid together in the June sun.
"You're sure?" he asked quietly. Rowan frowned.
"Yes, definitely," she said firmly.
He turned back to her, and his eyes blazed. The air seemed to suck from her every pore, replacing her blood with fire. Had he really been so concerned about this? Her lips trembled as understanding filled her.
But she didn't hear what he had to say. They heard a shifting from behind them and both jerked around to see Lily sitting up sleepily, the book in her lap falling to the floor with a loud thud. She yawned and rubbed her eyes, noting the weight in her lap and the presence of her two friends on the floor. She blinked a few times, looking very confused.
"What're you guys doing down there? What time is it?" she asked.
Remus smiled. "We just put the twins down for a nap and were taking a break. It's about 3:15 I think," he answered.
Lily smiled and glanced down at the sleeping boy in her arms. "I should get this one into bed too I guess. Where's James?"
"He's outside with Bill and Charlie carving pumpkins. He's a total mess," Rowan teased.
Lily rolled her eyes but stood slowly, bouncing the boy in her arms to grasp him better. He grunted in his sleep but didn't wake up. She smiled gently down at him before inching out of the room carefully. Rowan smiled after them and struggled to her feet.
"She's going to be a fantastic mother," she said. She stretched her arms over her head, hearing the joints in her left side crack and pop with a slight groan.
"Yeah," Remus agreed, standing to his feet. She looked up at him to see him gazing at her gently. "You will be too," he said quietly.
Rowan felt her face burn. She wasn't sure how to respond. All of this talk about children and motherhood – she was overwhelmed.
"Winnie, I-" he started. He took her hand with his, grasping it tightly.
"Hey, you two ready to head back down?" Lily called suddenly from the other room.
They jerked apart to see the redhead poking her head back in. She grinned cheekily at the pair, obviously aware that she'd interrupted them once again, and Rowan rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, let's go," she said. She turned back to see Remus smiling thinly down at her. He nodded at her to lead. Her chest remained tight, but she obeyed, and they followed Lily out and down the stairs.
When they returned to the kitchen, the smoke was gone, and Arthur and Mina had managed to salvage a slightly burnt pie. The boys came parading inside with jack o' lanterns brandished proudly. Remus charmed both of their pumpkins' carvings so that they were animated, much to their delight. Bill's acromantula was surprisingly frightening with its pincers clicking, and Charlie roared with glee at the way his dragon's mouth snapped menacingly. James' lion didn't look so much like a lion, but rather a vague, ambiguous animal with a large mouth and strange Afro, and Sirius had simply carved the words, "Sex, Drugs, and Rock n' Roll" into his. Molly and Mina both slapped him on the back of the head, much to the younger boys' glee.
The rest of the afternoon passed smoothly. After Percy and the twins woke up, the party gathered outside to eat dinner. Molly rallied the men together to help bring the furniture out. Gideon and Fabian clashed levitating chairs against each other mid-air with the toddlers shouting incoherently with excitement as they watched until Molly came storming outside, angrily berating them with Percy gripping her hand, a frightened look on his face. The two cowered under the force of their younger sister's wrath and quietly continued to set up the tables.
George had insisted on eating with Rowan while Fred had clung back to his mother. Remus sat next to her with Bill on his other side, asking him a steady flow of questions. It was clear that the boy was very curious about a wide array of subjects and demonstrated a mature level of wit. She marveled at how similar the two were, which young Bill had seemingly noticed and appreciated. Rowan listened carefully to their conversation, impressed with the boy's thirst for knowledge.
"I just don't understand why Goblins are categorized as Beings while Centaurs aren't. From everything that I've read, Centaurs seem to be just as intelligent and capable as Goblins, even if they're different brands of intelligence," Bill reasoned.
Remus nodded. "That's certainly true, but the reason Centaurs are listed as Beasts is because they choose to be. Merpeople did the same. They didn't approve of being categorized with Hags and Vampires I guess," he explained.
Bill nodded in understanding, a precociously wise expression on his face. "So then what's the difference between Being and wizard? Goblins are clearly in a different league from Vampires and definitely Hags. They're also just as naturally skilled in magic as wizards, so why can't they use wands? Same with House Elves! It doesn't seem fair," he continued.
"That's a good question," Remus said thoughtfully. "I definitely think the Being vs. Beast system is flawed, and to be honest, I think the reason Goblins aren't allowed wands is fear-based. Wandlore is a wizarding magic secret, whereas the Goblins have their own brand of magic that we know very little about. I think some people are afraid that if Goblins were to acquire wands, there would be conflict between our two races. Goblins also have a very different way of thinking from humans, so there's the possibility of miscommunication."
"What do you mean?" Bill asked curiously.
Remus smiled thinly. "Honestly, it's hard to explain. It's more economically based I think. They also find meaning in words that we don't and vice versa, so there are often misunderstandings between our races. I don't know how to explain it better," he said ruefully. "I suppose you'd just have to spend time with Goblins to understand better. As for House Elves, that's an entirely different issue and set of politics that I'm not as familiar with. You'd have to look into that more yourself."
Bill nodded slowly. "I think I kind of get it," he said.
As she listened to their conversation, Rowan hadn't felt so happy in ages. The Weasleys were certainly a remarkable family. She was almost jealous of how happy their family was and wished that she'd had a sibling as well. She couldn't wait to see how the twins developed. She could only hope that if she ever had children, they would be half as bright and sweet.
Rowan smiled to herself and turned back to the toddler in her lap. She raised a spoonful of mashed potatoes into George's mouth with a proud grin. He chewed happily, very pleased with himself for earning her look of praise.
"'Tato, Row!" he exclaimed. She giggled and wiped a bit from the corner of his mouth.
"Yes, potato. Mummy is a good cook, right?" she teased. He nodded excitedly and lightly patted her face with a tiny palm.
He then turned down the table and shouted "'Tato!" at Fred, who looked up from his mother's lap and shouted, "'Tahto!" back.
After pudding was served, a loud clinking of a glass was heard at the end of the table. The loud conversations hushed and everyone turned to see Molly and Arthur standing at the head. Sirius held Fred for Molly, his tiny hands tugging on Sirius' long hair and laughing maniacally. Rowan had to stifle the snicker that rose in her throat from seeing the painful flinching on Sirius' face.
"Thank you so much for coming, everyone," Arthur started. "It's been a difficult year, so we thought it'd be nice to have everyone together like this to remind ourselves of how good our lives are, even in these hard times. We just wanted to say how grateful we are to have all of you in our lives and here in our home."
Rowan felt Remus squeeze her knee beneath the table, and her cheeks reddened. She tried to desperately fight off the warm feeling in her stomach, but he didn't let go.
"We also thought this would be a good time to make an announcement, since all of you are here," Arthur said steadily. He turned towards Molly and they shared a secret smile. "We're pregnant again!"
A series of happy shouts and applause rang down the table. Molly blushed pleasurably at the protective arm that Arthur wrapped around her shoulders. Gideon and Fabian both whistled down the table. Arthur's strange behavior from earlier suddenly made much more sense.
"How long?" Kingsley called.
"Almost four months – expecting in March!" Arthur said proudly.
"Still virile as ever, eh, Weasley?" Moody teased gruffly with a lopsided grin.
"That, or he doesn't know how to use a contraceptive spell!" Gideon shouted, much to Molly and Arthur's embarrassment and everyone else's amusement.
"What's that?" Charlie piped up next to his uncles. Molly shot daggers down the table at her brother, and Gideon laughed nervously.
"Nothing you need to know about just yet. I'll tell you when you're older," he said quickly to Charlie, whose face was screwed up with confusion.
"Are you two ever going to quit?" James asked with amazement.
Molly's face reddened even more, but she responded determinedly, "Not until I get a girl!" Everyone laughed again.
"Well, a toast then!" Gideon called out, standing to his feet with butterbeer in hand. Everyone else followed suit. Rowan slowly stood with George on her hip and held her glass of pumpkin juice out. The toddler held out his fist.
"To Molly and Arthur! May you be graced with good health and a happy pregnancy!"
"And a girl!" Lily called.
"And a girl," Gideon chuckled. He raised his bottle with a grin. "Congratulations!"
"Congratulations!"
As they left the Burrow later that evening – after Remus promised to lend Bill a book about the Goblin Rebellions and Rowan said goodnight to the twins – Remus took Rowan's hand and laced his fingers with hers as he had been doing more frequently. She could tell he still had more to say from earlier but didn't push him. She watched him from the corner of her eye as he stared up at the sky, where a waxing moon was high and bright. The last lunar cycle had been mild, but Rowan still feared that the next time he'd come back and withdraw into himself again. Still, he continued to surprise her with his patience and newfound optimism. She wondered when he'd grow tired of it.
But he didn't continue where they'd left off as she'd expected. He Disapparated them for London with barely a word shared between them, and when they finally reached her doorstep, he pulled her in roughly and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She heard him inhale deeply with his face buried in her hair. The feeling of his warmth in the cool October night was eerily calming, and before she could stop herself, her hands had hesitantly slid up his back to embrace him back. She could feel the surprise in his shoulders, but he relaxed and then held her even more tightly.
When he pulled away, his eyes burned through her, and the autumn air suddenly lost its chill. Her face reddened as he lifted a hand and buried it in her hair at the base of her neck. She felt the calluses of his hand graze her skin, and she shivered. His gaze darkened, and she fought the way her heart hit her throat.
His eyes flickered down to her mouth, and once again, she couldn't find her voice to protest. When she didn't push him away, he leaned forward, but instead of the slight brush he'd left her with a month before, he pressed against her firmly, sliding his lips over hers smoothly. Her hands gripped the rough wool of his coat tightly as his fingers tangled in her hair.
She sighed into the kiss, and he slipped his tongue past her lips quietly. It glided against hers gently, flicking her upper lip. The smallest of whimpers escaped her throat, and with another few slow pull of lips, suddenly, his mouth was gone.
He pressed his forehead against hers and breathed deeply, steadying himself with eyes closed. Her head swam from the kiss and she leaned against him for balance, trying to even her breathing. It barely even scratched the surface of their more intense, previous interludes, and yet she was left reeling. It had been so long since he'd touched her in such a way, and yet it had been so short.
"Thank you," he whispered. She looked up at him to see that his eyes were still closed, but his face was serene, the smallest of smiles on his lips.
"For what?" she asked.
He didn't answer though. He opened his eyes and gazed at her so gently that the tightness in her chest squeezed harder. He slid his hands down her arms and squeezed her hands, as if punctuating the end of the night. She felt bereft, like she'd missed something terribly important.
"For just being you I guess," he said quietly. He seemed to consider something for a moment. "I love you."
Her lungs seemed to collapse on themselves and threatened to dissolve away, but she didn't understand for what reason. She felt something break inside of her. She didn't know how to respond, though she knew how she felt. He seemed to read the conflict on her face with a gentle smile.
"It's okay," he said, smiling quietly at her. "I'll see you tomorrow."
She still couldn't find her voice and stared up at him, searching his face for a sign of whatever she'd missed. He simply gave her another burning look, squeezed her hand again, and then turned and walked down the stairs of her front stoop, and with a pop, he was gone. The October chill returned.