A/N: Hey! Thanks for all the reviews and good wishes for my break. Scotland was wonderful (so are the accents...mmmm dreamy) - if you haven't been, I suggest you drop everything and go at once. I went to see the Fall leaves in New England this time last year and Scotland does rival that for scenery ;-) I'm back now- as spotted by the eagle-eyed readers who saw me posting a review on another fic LOL. Anyhow, I came home to find Laura Prepon got engaged to Ben Foster while I was climbing mountains...WTF?! It's OK, we still have Vauseman. Speaking of which...I've got a new chapter for you lovely people. Hope you're having a good week - soon be Friday guys :-)
Piper closed the bathroom door behind her gently before leaning back against it, hands balled into fists as she fought the urge to either put her fist through something or cry. Alex had been so sweet, so tender with her tonight and there was no reason why she shouldn't have been able to reach that shuddering release that she had been craving. She had been so turned on by everything that had happened tonight and the throb between her legs was an unwelcome reminder of her unsated desires. No matter how much she closed her eyes and willed herself to relax, to focus on the feelings, to live in the moment, the release just wouldn't come. Now she would have to wait for the ache to subside while trying to hide her disappointment from Alex. Silent tears spilled over her cheeks as she stood against the door, clutching fresh bed clothes against her chest and trying to choke down the lump in her throat. She sniffed and wiped her cheeks as Alex knocked softly on the door.
"Pipes?...Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." Piper turned to run the cold water tap in the sink.
"Can I come in?"
"I said I'll be out in a minute!" Piper's tone let out some of the frustration and she leaned to splash her face with water before hearing Alex turn the door handle.
"Jesus Alex, you don't have to-."
Alex handed her a towel from the rail when the blonde turned to face her.
"You don't need to do this." Alex had pulled her sleep clothes back on and leaned against the door frame, regarding her cautiously.
"I'm not doing anything." Piper roughly wiped her face dry and turned the tap off, avoiding the green irises that were following her every move.
"Good. I'm glad you're not doing anything. Because for a second I thought you might be beating yourself up over not having an orgasm." Alex folded her arms and raised her brows, expecting an answer to something that clearly didn't need one.
Piper sighed as she put the towel down. "Can we not talk about this? I spend enough of my time in therapy." She squeezed past the brunette in the doorway and walked back to the bed.
Alex clenched her jaw before turning to follow the blonde and got under the covers. Piper was curled up with her back facing her and Alex waited for her to speak. After a few minutes of feeling the tension emanating from the fake relaxed pose her girlfriend was striking, Alex reached out to touch her shoulder. Seeing Piper jump at her touch, Alex immediately brought her hand back to her body as though she'd been scalded.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."
Piper sighed deeply before turning onto her back and talking into the darkness. "You didn't. I just wasn't expecting it. I was in a world of my own."
"OK….Well, I would ask you what you were thinking about, but you clearly aren't in the mood for talking."
"Yet here you are, still talking."
"For Christ's sake, now we're arguing? Really?!"
"Turn over."
"What? Why?"
"Because I want you to. Just turn over and face the other wall."
"What the fuck Piper? What, are you punishing me for trying to talk now? Face the wall like a naughty school kid? Fuck off, you're not telling me how to sleep in my own bed. You turn over."
Alex's eyes were blazing as she glared at Piper from across the pillow. The blonde turned to face her quickly, the electric charge of their words and feelings cracking between them as their hearts raced. Alex could feel the warmth of Piper's breath as she searched her eyes for a clue as to where this was heading. In the past, Alex would have not missed a beat before rolling Piper beneath her with her thighs and pinning her to the bed, taking route number one to release the charge between them. There would have been nothing tender or slow about it. It would have been rough, fast and leave lasting imprints on each other's bodies. It would have lasted until they were both exhausted and tangled in the bed sheets. It would have worked past whatever argument had been brewing and released the palpable tension between them. Now it hung in the air, waiting to be channelled. To be used for good or bad. Potential energy they called it in science class. Alex clenched her fists into the sheets and waited for Piper to make the first move. She couldn't possibly anticipate where the blonde was heading right now and second guessing her could be a huge mistake. Piper continued to bore her blue eyes into Alex, her only muscles moving where the ones involved in inhaling and exhaling the small amount of air between them. It felt like an eternity had passed when Alex sensed that Piper was not going to move because her eyes were open and fixed on hers, but her mind was racing in a million different directions.
"Piper…" Alex spoke softly, dissipating the charge in the room to turn everything down a few notches.
Blue eyes flickered and blinked briefly as Alex reached out to stroke her blonde hair behind her ear.
"What's going on?"
Piper leaned in to kiss Alex on the lips. It wasn't gentle or slow, but it wasn't passionate or urgent either. It was…..different. It was seeking assurance that Alex was really there. She cupped her face tightly in her hands and pressed her lips into Alex's repeatedly. She pulled at the brunettes' lips, encouraging them to part in order that she could taste her and check another confirmation that she was indeed real. Alex was confused by the kiss and allowed Piper to move her mouth against her for a while before responding and moving her tongue towards Piper's mouth. No sooner had she reached the taste of her lips, when Piper stopped the kiss and pulled away.
"I don't know."
Alex had pretty much forgotten that she'd left a question in the air a few moments ago.
"I just need to hold you. That's all I wanted. Just to hold you and feel you against me, to know that you're here with me."
"I'm not going anywhere Pipes. We're in my bed, remember?" Alex was surprised by the sudden vulnerability and tried to make Piper smile by lightening the tone a little. It didn't even register with the blonde, who was memorising Alex's face with her eyes and fingertips.
"Pipes, you're scaring me now. Are you OK?" Alex reached out to still Piper's hand from stroking her cheek.
"No…But I will be. Can I hold you? I want to sleep like that tonight. Is that OK?" Piper manoeuvred herself into a slightly curled position on her side and gestured for Alex to do the same so she could spoon her. Alex was confused by what was going on, but she nodded and moved to lie in front of the blonde.
"If you don't want to talk to me about it, I do think you should talk to Julie at your next appointment." Alex lifted the arm that Piper had wrapped around her torso and kissed her fingers before putting it back and interlacing hers over the top of Piper's.
"I will….Night Alex." Piper kissed the top of the brunette's head and snuggled into her hair to signal that she didn't want to communicate any more. She just wanted to feel Alex next to her and the comfort that it brought soon sent her into a restful sleep.
XXXXX
Alex's body clock was not quite settled back into the right time zone yet and she was awake before Piper on Sunday morning. She watched the blonde resting peacefully for a while before getting up to make some coffee and bringing it back to bed. She settled to read a book as Piper stirred and snuggled into her side. Alex kissed the top of her head before turning the page and Piper continued to doze for another half hour against her before Alex moved her position and woke her.
"Mmmm, time is it?" Piper rubbed her eyes and stretched her legs out.
"Just gone 8. You want some coffee? I was going to make another."
"Yes please. Toast too?" Piper creased one eye open to see if Alex was going to give in to her cheeky demands. She was soon covered in a robe as Alex got up and threw one over her head by way of a reply.
"If you're making for both of us, that would be great, thanks."
"Ugh. I'm supposed to be the guest." Piper sat up and puller her arms into the robe as Alex pulled a hoodie on. "Is that all you're wearing?" Piper looked up and down Alex's long and bare legs appreciatively.
"No. I was going to drop you at the store actually so I'll pull some jeans on. You are still working today I take it?"
"FUCK! Oh God, I don't have a change of clothes with me either!" Suddenly a lot more awake, Piper staggered out of the bed and ran into the bathroom.
"Get something out of my closet and I'll assume I'm doing the toast as well as the coffee while you get dressed." Alex shook her head as she went down to the kitchen, the sound of Piper's swearing fading out behind her.
It was as though last night never happened. Well, as though the part where Piper went to the bathroom and came back a different version of herself didn't happen at least. She was back to normal this morning, whatever that meant these days. When Alex had been awake this morning, she mulled over the events of the previous night and reminded herself that it was going to be a long road for them to get things fitting together again. It couldn't be the same as it used to be and she was really struggling to wrap her head around that. Sometimes, it was all too easy to pick up where they left off those years ago when things were good between them. Other times, a grenade came out of nowhere and Alex was second guessing how she should react. Without sex to work out their emotions and communicate through their bodies, it was like learning a whole new language.
XXXXX
Alex dropped Piper at the store before calling to a café for a food-shaped peace offering for Nicky when she was bound to be waking her up by calling around at this time on a Sunday. Nicky's grumpiness was slightly assuaged by the brown bag Alex held up as she answered her front door.
"There had better be a lot of bacon in there beanstalk." Nicky grabbed the bag and turned to walk back inside, leaving Alex at the door. "Get the fuck inside then. You don't pay me enough to heat every street in New York!" She shouted over her shoulder as Alex chuckled before closing the door behind her.
"And you don't pay for anything. I take it you're home alone?"
"You think I'd have even entertained answering the door if there was anything with a pulse in my bed right now?"
"You're getting picky Nicholls. They have to have a pulse these days." Alex dropped onto the sofa with her coffee.
"At least you brought your own food and drink. Nice touch."
"Yeah, I never expect to get fed by you. I think that fridge might be an empty box for decoration because you never open it."
"I'm guessing you're here because you missed me and couldn't wait one more day to see me all day at work in the morning?"
"That's exactly the reason."
"Knew it." Nicky grinned and tucked into the bacon toastie she pulled from the brown bag. They talked about Alex's trip and a bit about what it would mean for the business before Nicky stopped her.
"I'm not getting paid to listen to this today you know. I thought this was a social visit?"
"Sorry. Can't help it. How's things with you?"
"Boring as fuck. Poussey's seeing this new girl and can't go anywhere without her at the moment. Taystee's the same with that giant basketball player and Lorna is all loved up with this Christopher guy."
"Ah, yeah. You borrowed my girlfriend to quadruple date at bowling the other night."
"So she's your girlfriend now?" Nicky smirked.
"Yeah." Alex drank her coffee to hide her blush from Nicky.
"So you're loved up too."
"No! It's not like that." Alex shrugged.
"Sure it is. She's crazy about you, you know that right?"
Alex laughed. "Crazy, yes. About me, sometimes."
"She was pretty crazy about you while you were away you know. She was pretty messed up when you sent her that letter as well Vause." Nicky was being serious and it made Alex squirm in her seat a little at the mention of that letter.
"Well, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? I should fucking know." Alex finished her coffee and stood to put the cup in the trash.
"You still love her don't you?"
It took a couple of beats before Alex decided to answer honestly as she walked back to the sofa.
"Yeah, I do."
"That's how they say it in the movies when the hero's love interest dies. Aren't you meant to say it with a goofy grin or something?"
Alex rolled her eyes. "Have I been away so long you're watching romcoms now?"
"Yeah. We're watching Dirty Dancing later and I want to practice the lift with you."
"Only if I can be Johnny. You're not tall enough to touch the bottom of the lake without drowning anyway."
"So you have watched it! A bit further up that Kinsey scale than I thought aren't you Vause?"
"Hell no. It's one of Piper's favourite movies. She's made me watch it more times than I will ever admit to."
"Chapman must have some kind of magic pussy to make you do that shit. You want to share it?"
Alex screwed her face up and rolled her eyes. "Dream on Nicholls."
"Oh I've dreamed it. Just the other night I had this dream-."
"Do NOT tell me you're having dirty dreams about my girlfriend. That is creepy as fuck and doesn't need to be shared."
"I bet Chapman wouldn't mind one bit. I bet she'd love to hear about it in fact." Nicky waggled her eyebrows.
Alex made Nicky go and get dressed so they could go and get lunch and some beers to chill out in front of the TV later. It was good to kick back and relax a bit and they both enjoyed a night in and some banter.
XXXXX
Alex was in work early on Monday, conscious that she had a lot to catch up on with the office refurbishment and sharing the news of the new contracts with everyone. She called a meeting for lunch time to tell everyone about her trip and the new work they had coming their way. Everyone was excited about it and there was a real buzz about everyone as they went back to work after a pizza lunch ordered in by Alex as a little thank you.
She'd been giving some thought to what Piper had said about needing more specialist expertise to help her run everything and sat with Nicky and Lorna to talk about it. They decided to look into north east universities who offered logistics degrees and see whether there was an opportunity for placements or getting involved in graduate employment partnerships. They still needed people to be answering the calls for standard day to day delivery runs, but Alex wanted to leave Brooke and Tricia with Piper for a little longer to see how they all got on. The office just needed new flooring putting down and a final coat of paint on the walls, before the furniture could be moved into place. It was looking more like a real office space every day.
Piper called at lunch time to invite her over for take out at her place, so Alex made sure she wasn't going to end up working too late. She knocked on the door at 7pm with an overnight bag in her hand.
"Hey you." Piper opened the door and leaned down to peck her on the lips before glancing at the luggage. "A bit presumptuous aren't you?"
"Confident more like." Alex smirked and brushed past her in the doorway.
"Are they clothes or have you brought your own kitchen utensils?" Piper closed the door and walked to the kitchen.
"Am I supposed to be cooking tonight? I thought you said take out?" Alex shrugged her coat off and hung it up before following Piper into the kitchen.
"It's take out night. But I will remember that offer for another night."
"When Mr Dolmio isn't around?" Alex stood behind the blonde and wrapped her arms around her waist, bending to nuzzle her neck.
"Mmm-hmm. Keeping my options open." Piper leaned into Alex's embrace and ran her hands over the top of the warm arms holding her.
"I prefer it when some of your options are closed." Alex husked into her ear as she ran her hands higher up Piper's stomach.
Piper hummed her agreement as she reached back to push her hand into the dark hair that was tickling her neck. "I've missed you."
"You saw me yesterday." She chuckled in reply.
"I didn't see you last night. You didn't call either." Piper turned to stroke her thumbs over Alex's cheeks.
"I was with Nicky. Anyway, I thought we were trying to take things slowly?" Alex turned her face to kiss Piper's palm against her cheek.
"Is bringing an overnight bag 'taking things slowly'?"
"I can go home tonight. I brought it just in case. I'm not pressuring anything."
Piper dropped her hands and sighed. "I didn't mean that. It was a joke. I want you to stay Al." Alex stroked her hands up Piper's arms.
"OK, we can do that then. Or I can go home later. Whatever you want."
"I want you to stay." Piper leaned up to kiss her again. "Stay with me tonight." She kissed her softly. "I want you to."
Alex smiled as she stroked the loose hair away from Piper's face. "If you insist."
"I do." Piper smiled before kissing her again and pulling away. "We need to order food…" She turned to look for the menu and busied herself noting the options while Alex got a cold beer and walked into the lounge.
"I see you got your photo frame fixed. I said I'd cover that remember? Is there anything else I broke?"
"It's fine. It was only a couple bucks. You've done enough already." She walked through to the lounge to flick the TV on. "Take out will be here in 10 minutes. Can I get you another beer?"
"Yeah, thanks. Aren't you having one?"
"No. I'm trying to keep off it this week. I can't trust myself not to drink more than I should. I'm focusing on the gym workouts instead."
"Why?"
"The court case."
"Ah, OK. Good idea. Have you heard how it's going?"
"No. I was going to sit in on it some time this week and see how it was going."
"Do you think that's a good idea?"
"It might help me prepare when it comes to my turn to take the stand. If I can see how it all works I mean." Piper shrugged and went to get another bottle popped open.
"But it might make you more worried as well. Are any of the other witnesses taking the stand this week?"
"Yeah, I think they are but I don't know if it's this week…I think they are starting with him…." She finished quietly.
"Pipes, I really don't think you should go to see any of the other witness testimonies. And especially not listen to anything that arrogant bastard has got to say." Alex drained the rest of her bottle before banging it onto the coffee table with a little more force than necessary. There was a knock at the door and Piper went to pay for the take out before coming back to the conversation.
"I know what you're saying. I really do. I just can't help but wonder whether seeing how the other witnesses get on will help me to be better with my own testimony."
"Your Lawyer should be coaching you for that." Alex helped Piper plate up their food and they moved to the dining table. "Piper…..listen to me. I don't want you to go and sit in on the other days you're not needed." Piper avoided her eyes, which told her she didn't want to hear the reasoning. "And if you absolutely insist on going….well, make sure someone is there with you. I'll come with you, OK?"
"I haven't decided on anything at the moment. It was just an idea. Thanks though." She smiled and touched Alex's arm before going back to her food.
XXXXX
Piper was up early the next morning for her run with Pete. They managed 4k around the riverside route and she was really starting to feel her fitness returning. They were warming down when Pete asked about the presentation they had planned for the investment.
"I think we're finished with it. It's just tinkering now, but the content is all there and the samples are ready. Why?"
"It's just that Polly seems really tetchy at the moment. She's always got her head in that presentation folder and she just seems really preoccupied with the whole thing. It's not like her, you know?"
"She seemed OK at work yesterday, but she was out most of the day with the supplier. You want me to talk to her?"
"No. Sorry Piper. Forget I said anything. I just got the impression that you're not stressing out over this like she is."
"She's probably just nervous. It's a big deal for us to get an online store up as well as run the store here. I don't know. Maybe she knows more about where we stand financially if it doesn't happen. I leave the books to her, so maybe I'm a little blinkered from it."
"Could be. You're probably right. Forget I said anything will you?"
"Forgotten already." Piper smiled as they walked the streets back to her place.
When she got inside, Alex was whisking something in a pan and looked up as the door closed.
"Hey. Are you hungry? I've got scrambled eggs with your name on them."
"Mmm. Yes please. Have I got time for a shower first?"
"Yeah. You want to Skype me while you're in there?"
"Ha ha. No thanks. I'll leave the door open though, OK?"
"Just so we're clear….That wasn't you inviting me into the shower with you was it?"
Piper's eyes flickered in recognition of Alex checking the boundaries were secure. "It wasn't. Just me, myself and I today."
"Sounds like a party. Call me if any of you need anything." Alex chuckled before pouring herself a fresh cup of coffee and checking her phone.
Piper got undressed in her room and walked to the bathroom in her robe. She was sure that Alex wouldn't walk in on her, but it would be the first time she had left the door open while anyone else was in the house.
XXXXX
By Wednesday, Piper and Polly were ready for their presentation and on their way in Polly's car to the office block where their appointment would be. They had discussed whether to leave Brooke and Tricia to run the store on their own, but opted to keep it closed for the morning to be on the safe side. Lorna opted to show them around the NY Logistics offices for a half day and show them where they would be working once the construction work was done, so it was fine. Piper was nervous about meeting their investor for the first time and Polly also seemed more nervous than usual.
"Are you sure you don't want to just go and open up the store P? I mean, it might be overkill both of us being here you know?"
"What happened to you wanting me to be involved in this kind of stuff more? We are an equal partnership remember? It's about time I started to take on more stuff like this and not leave it to you. I have to learn sometime right?"
"Yeah…..But with the court case and everything….You've got so much on your mind already you know?"
"You think I can't handle it?"
"I didn't say that. I'm just offering you a way out of this nerve wracking presentation is all."
"I am crapping myself right now, I'm not gonna lie. But I can do this."
"You could wait outside and I'll call you in if I need you?" Polly offered weakly.
"What is going on with you? Do you think I'm going to fuck this up for us or something?" Piper was getting angry at Polly's persistent offers to let her bail out.
"No! I was just thinking only one of us needs to go through this."
"We're doing it TOGETHER Pol. Not up for discussion."
Piper looked out of the window, trying to concentrate on the pitch that she had been practising all week and memorise the key points she wanted to make. Polly kept under the speed limit all the way until she pulled into a parking space in a small industrial area on the outskirts of the city.
"Well this doesn't look like somewhere a millionaire would be locating her offices. Are you sure we've got the right address Pol? I'm already feeling overdressed in this place."
"Yeah, I put the address into my phone. This is definitely it."
"Looks like our investor might have fallen on some hard times." Piper checked her make up in the mirror before climbing out of the car. She straightened the black pencil skirt she was wearing and tucked her white blouse into the waistband before putting her black suit jacket on to finish the look.
Polly walked around the car with her box of the samples they brought with them and smiled at Piper as they came around the corner.
"Are you OK Pol? You look a little pale? Have you eaten breakfast?"
"I'm OK. Just nervous I guess."
"Alright. Let's go then shall we?"
They walked into the reception area where Polly went to let the girl of the desk know that they were here for an appointment. Piper took a seat in the waiting area, rearranging her files so she knew where everything was. Polly sat next to her and they waited to be called.
"You happy with the plan? I start the pitch and you do the second bit to talk through the new range?" Piper asked as she saw Polly's legs jigging up and down, bouncing the contents of the box around.
"Yeah. Fine."
"Do you want me to do this on my own? You seem really anxious…."
"No, no….I'll be fine." She glanced over at the reception desk, where the girl was replacing the handset of the phone and walking over to see them.
"OK ladies, we're ready for you now. If you'd like to follow me, I'll show you to the meeting room."