A/N: I'm going out of town, so I'll be slow on the update; however, this is a really long, fluffy one to make up for it. Also, there's a bit of action, so REJOICE AND BE GRATEFUL. It's nothing too heavy though, so sorry. While I'm away, please write me a review or shoot me a PM! I love hearing from all of you!
To the REVIEWERS: Sorry, but I'm in a hurry today, so I can't tell you all thank you individually, but as always, I am EXTREMELY grateful for all of your kind words!
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Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Chapter 44: Of Joy to the World
A high pitch alarm rang through the Delacroix Manor kitchen that reminded Rowan very much of Belby's old augurey Alexander.
"Can you pull the turkey from the oven for me, dear?" Carole Delacroix called loudly over her shoulder. Her hands were covered in gooey fruit matter, and little puffs of white flour coated her silvery hair.
Rowan didn't need to be told twice. She had already moved forward in a rush, determined to turn the grating alarm off as quickly as possible. She slapped the off-switch, panic still gripping her stomach as the sound finally stopped, before opening the oven. As the door swung open, a wave of heat hit her with the delicious smell of her mother's work. She flicked her wand and floated the heavy bird from the oven and onto the stove, admiring the browned, glistening skin. Her stomach growled as she admired the assortment of food splayed out around her, but she kept her hands to herself. They ached slightly at the memory of her mother slapping them as she'd tried to sneak food before dinner as a child. She thought sourly that she'd been trained quite well.
As she turned, she narrowly missed getting smacked in the face by a beautifully latticed, floating pie. She craned away from it as her mother set it into the oven gracefully, and with another flick of her wand, the oven closed and locked. Rowan looked up at the clock on the wall – 4 p.m. Their guests would be arriving in a couple of hours.
She sighed to herself heavily. She supposed this was as good of a time as any to tell her mother about her and Remus. She hoped that their impending guests would minimize her mother's anger.
The month and a half since Remus had first spent the night with her again had passed happily. He hadn't pushed her to be intimate with him, though she imagined that it'd be impossible to feel any sort of arousal after the day they'd had. She'd nervously gone to bed with him only to fall asleep with his arms wrapped around her tightly as she always had before. When she'd woken the next morning, her lungs had seared with panic, but there he was sleeping beside her still. As she gazed at his sleeping face, she felt something inside of her begin to crack, and though she feared its implications, she finally admitted to herself with some exhilaration that he had truly kept his word – he was beginning to change.
And so they'd finally begun to pick up their relationship again, almost like a real couple, though it continued slowly still. She didn't initiate most of their physical contact, but she accepted his affections happily. When he went home each evening, he said goodbye with slow kisses and protective hands. She'd even allowed him to stay the night a few more times, much to his joy, and she couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth at the way his face would light up whenever she shyly suggested it.
Alfred still remained skeptical about her relationship with Remus, understandably, and had been pestering her to tell Carole. Now, with the Potters and Lupins coming for Christmas dinner, she knew that she'd have to come clean with her mother. There was no way Carole wouldn't notice the new [re]developments between them, and she'd never hear the end of it if she let her find out like that. She grit her teeth and pushed forward.
"Hey, Mum."
"Hm?" Carole glanced over vaguely from the sink where her hands were covered with soapy water.
"Well, uh," she started. She had no idea how to say this. Should she work up to it? She groaned internally. No, it was best to just be direct about it. She supposed there was no use in dragging it out.
"Remus and I are dating again."
Silence. Rowan felt her stomach clench. This was bad. Her mother was worse than a Howler when she was angry, but she always knew that silence preceded the worst of verbal assaults. She braced herself for the onslaught.
But it never came. "And?" she asked.
Rowan blinked. "What?'"
Carole arched an eyebrow at Rowan. "Really? You thought I didn't know?" she asked dryly. Rowan frowned.
Carole sighed with mild exasperation. "We always knew it was just a matter of time before you two got back together. I'm just surprised it took you this long."
Rowan frowned deeply. "But Dad told Remus-" she started confusedly.
"That was just supposed to give him a push. He didn't think he'd actually go through with that silly promise. The boy can't keep his hands off of you."
"Mum!" Rowan groaned with embarrassment. The thought of her parents discussing Remus' attraction to her made her face burn.
"Oh, don't be a prude. It's true."
Rowan had no idea what to do with this information. She frowned deeply at her mother as she continued to wash the goopy mixing bowl in her hands.
"Dear, you shouldn't make that face. It'll give you wrinkles," Carole scolded.
Rowan couldn't process this right. She wasn't quite sure if she should feel relieved or disturbed, but she felt as if her mother was still keeping something from her, so she waited.
Carole continued to work for a few moments before setting down the utensils in her hands quietly. She sighed.
"I can't say that I approve though," she admitted. Rowan watched her warily, waiting for the next to come. "He's hurt you time and time again, and regardless of whatever he's said that's convinced you he deserves another chance, I don't think he does - not after everything you've done for him."
Rowan read the deep lines in her mother's face, which suddenly seemed much heavier than before. She was reminded of the weight in her father's face right before he'd died. Her lungs tightened slightly as she saw Carole's hands gripping a dish towel in her hands tightly, as if trying to hold in the resentment she felt towards Remus.
"But I know how hard it is to walk away from someone after all that you've been through together. And you two have been through much more than most couples at your age," she said. She smiled sadly, and Rowan knew she was thinking of Richard. She moved back towards her mother quietly and wrapped an arm around her frail shoulders. It had been years since she'd passed her in height, and yet it still felt bittersweet and strange to see how tall she was in comparison. Carole sighed and embraced her back.
"I suppose it's up to you to decide whether a painful life with him is worth more than one without him," she murmured.
"How did you decide that Dad was worth it?" Rowan asked.
Carole smiled softly. "Sometimes there are just people that will always be a part of our lives, no matter how much we wish they weren't." She smirked suddenly. "Besides, your father wouldn't have left me alone even if I'd shaved my head and ran away to the mountains. He was the most stubborn son of a bitch I've ever met."
Rowan snorted and the two women shared a few soft giggles. Rowan cherished the quiet private moment with her mother and thought to herself that maybe, if her parents were any indication, she might find her happiness with Remus in the end, even if he brought more pain with him.
As Remus stood in front of Delacroix Manor with his father, he felt his chest clench slightly. He'd been there numerous times at this point, and yet it still remained so domineering. He knew he'd have to face Rowan's mother and Alfred for the first time since he'd been trying to win Rowan back again, and he was dreading it. The first time he'd left Rowan at the end of their Sixth Year, Alfred had been frigid, to say the least. He could only imagine the cold treatment he was in for this time.
As the door opened, the bright lights of the foyer spilled out into the night. Much to his surprise though, Remus was greeted not by a cold Alfred, but by a grinning James. He sighed with some relief at the sight of his friend.
"You're late!" he scolded jokingly.
"Let us in, you git," Remus retorted, pushing James back into the house. James guffawed heartily and stood aside bowing deeply.
"I can take your coats, good sirs," he said grandly. Remus slid his coat off and tossed it at James after Lyall had handed over his with an amused smile.
"Rude!" James exclaimed. Remus simply rolled his eyes and looked around the foyer.
An assortment of sparkling ornaments and tinsel hung around the high ceilings elegantly with red and green lights glowing prettily around the room. He thought to himself that Alfred had really outdone himself this year.
"Head to the living room for a drink?" James suggested, coming back from the closet.
Lyall nodded, but Remus looked around. "Where's Rowan?" he asked.
"Oh, I think she's still upstairs actually. I haven't seen her yet."
Remus thought for a moment. He'd never been upstairs before. "I'm going to go find her. I'll be back down in a minute."
"Don't get too handsy. I'd like to eat soon," Lyall said casually. Remus' ears burned at his father's suggestion and James laughed loudly. Remus scowled at his father's sly grin before heading up the stairs quickly.
Rowan stood in front of her mirror, assessing the outfit she'd picked out for herself. It was just a simple skirt and blouse – not the most fashionable, but it'd do. She supposed she looked appropriate and perhaps somewhat feminine. She'd even go so far as to say that she looked cute.
Alfred and her mother had shoved her up the stairs about 30 minutes prior, threatening pain and misery if she showed up downstairs again in what they called "her usual man-child attire." She looked over her appearance in the mirror again, turning around and assessing her silhouette and lines. Alfred and Carole certainly wouldn't be able to complain, and that's all she could really ask for. She sighed and began to button the blouse up.
Then there was a knock at her door, and she groaned.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" she barked. Honestly, Alfred demanded that she change and then was going to pester her? He couldn't seriously expect her to-
"Oh."
Remus stood in front of her doorway with an amused expression, mouth twisting into a smirk. Her face burned slightly as she realized that her blouse remained somewhat open, and her hands shot up to close it.
"Merry Christmas to me," Remus said suggestively. He laughed as Rowan smacked him in the arm with a scowl and reddened cheeks, and then grabbed her hand gently and dipped down, kissing her swiftly and affectionately. As he pulled away, he grinned at the blush that still stained her cheeks.
"So this is your room," he said slowly, looking around and assessing the space.
"Yeah, um, come in I guess," Rowan mumbled, standing to the side to let him in.
He wandered in and gazed around him slowly, taking in the bright scarlet walls, the details of her crowded bookshelves, her messy desk, and her simple bed. His eyes lingered on her Puddlemere United poster and the photos pasted along the wall above her bed from her days at Hogwarts. He grinned at the line of stuffed animals on her bed.
"It's much girlier than I'd expected," he teased. "I never knew you were into stuffed toys."
Rowan's face reddened slightly. "My dad bought them for me. You know how he was with unnecessary gifts," she shrugged stiffly. She finished buttoning up her blouse and smoothed out her skirt, thankful that his attention was diverted elsewhere.
Remus moved to her bookshelf, eyes scanning over her assortment of novels and music. A soft smile danced on his lips. Many of the covers were worn out or creased, and he could imagine Rowan as a little girl spilling pumpkin juice on them while reading or James snatching them from her hands to torment her. His eyes trailed over her keepsakes and photos from her youth, most of which were of her and James wrestling or covered in some sort of mess with maniacal grins and tousled hair. In a couple, Alfred stood with them, his hair much darker, laughing at their mischief.
Rowan's chest tightened slightly as she saw Remus' gaze stop on her music collection. Several of the records had been gifts from him. They brought bittersweet memories, and she'd left them at home for a reason – she wasn't sure what memories they'd evoke if she were to listen to them now, even after all the time that had passed.
"You never opened these," he said, gesturing to a few. She recognized them as the birthday gifts he'd sent her the summer before their Seventh Year – right after he'd broken up with her the first time.
Rowan nodded and thought carefully of how to explain herself. He pulled them gently from the shelf, looking over them quietly with a thoughtful expression.
"These were from your 17th," he noted. Rowan nodded again. He turned towards her, and she was surprised to see a sad smile on his face.
"I know it was hard to talk to me back then," he said knowingly.
Rowan's stomach clenched painfully as the sad memories of that summer floated through her softly. She didn't remember the pain freshly, but the shadows of her loneliness remained vaguely. She smiled sadly as well.
"It was worth it though," she said. She hoped that her honesty was felt and was mildly surprised by how much she meant it.
Remus' face melted gently. The expression gripped her heart almost painfully. He slid the records back into place then turned back towards her. He reached forward and wrapped his arms around her waist gently.
Rowan felt his heat soak into her slowly, and she noted how calm she felt. Ever since he'd stayed the night, she'd begun to let go of her tension while in his presence, and she realized suddenly that it was nearly gone. She still felt a small inkling of fear in the back of her mind, but the voice was so small, like the softest of whispers from a distant dream. She snaked her arms around his neck and smiled. He smiled back warmly.
"You look cute today," he said.
She grinned and held her chin up cheekily. "Damn right I do."
Remus laughed softly and leaned forward, catching her lips with his own. She sighed into the kiss, feeling him smile against her. She felt him playfully tug at her bottom lip with his teeth. She smiled and leaned into him, reaching up to tangle her fingers in his hair.
When he swept his tongue into her mouth softly, her stomach flipped. She noted somewhere at the back recesses of her mind that this kiss was quickly becoming very different than their recent touches. His hands seemed to burn through her blouse and into her skin, and she felt the long lost but familiar ache shoot through her. He hadn't kissed her like this in so long - over a year. It was overwhelming. It seemed wrong to feel so much heat in her childhood bedroom, and yet as he pushed her up against her bookshelf with his body pressed hotly against hers, she couldn't protest. She shuddered slightly as she felt his hands burning through her blouse and up her sides, grazing the sides of her breasts.
His mouth left hers and worked its way to her neck, but the collar of her blouse presented an obstruction. He pulled away with some frustration, and the dark heat in his eyes sent a surge of fire through her. How long had it been since he'd looked at her like that? Before she could stop herself, her hands had reached up to clumsily undo the first few buttons of her blouse. As her fingers made way of the buttons, Remus' breath came raggedly, eyes fixated on the small movements with deep rapture and fingers gripping her hips tightly. When they finally came undone, his lips were suddenly on her neck again, fingers pushing the material open, searing along her collarbone.
Rowan whimpered as she felt his tongue trail up her neck and over her pulse point. He growled against her skin, fingernails digging into the soft flesh of her hip. She had to bite her lip to muffle the cry that sprang from her throat as she felt him part her legs with a knee, grinding himself against her core. Every one of her muscles clenched, and suddenly, his hand was gripping her thigh and wrapping it around his waist, holding her tightly against him as he pushed hard to add to the friction between them. She could feel her skirt ride up as he lifted her leg to his hip, pushing it up for more access. His teeth were at her collarbone, tongue trailing down over the tops of her breasts.
She gasped as he ground himself against her. He groaned softly and tore his lips from her neck, bringing them back up to her mouth. He thrust his tongue over hers possessively, and she scraped her nails over his shoulders and in his hair roughly. As he bit her lip in return, she knew vaguely that her lips would be quite swollen, but she couldn't find it within herself to care. She just wanted more of mouth, wanted his hands on her bare skin. She wanted him to push her skirt up and just-
"Winnie, are you seriously still- FUCK! WHY?"
Remus shot off of Rowan in an instant. Her room came into focus in a swimming daze just in time to see James' look of horror as he slammed the door shut.
"Why wouldn't you shut the door first?" James wailed outside of her door.
Rowan gawped at the door for a moment, the slam echoing in her ears dully. She looked back over at Remus with a dumbfounded look. He was also staring at the door with a horrified expression, his hair a disheveled mess, lips swollen, and jumper and shirt rumpled and twisted a bit. She felt a strange surge of satisfaction that he seemed just as dazed as she was. A grin pulled at her lips, and before she could stop herself, she was laughing softly at the absurdity of their situation. Remus frowned at her strange reaction.
"I'm sorry," she giggled, "but again. It's just so…" She dissolved into another quiet bout of giggles. Remus' frown melted into an amused smile. He reached for her gently, pulling her back against him. She grinned and turned her face up to him welcomingly. She leaned into him as he kissed her again softly.
"Any year now would be nice!"
Remus laughed softly against Rowan's lips and then pulled away. "Okay, just give us a moment!" he called back. They heard James mumble something incoherent.
"Well then," Remus said, looking over Rowan. He patted her hair down and then pulled away, eyes trailing over her form. "You might want to…" He gestured to her collar. Her hands rose up to her neck. She ran her fingers over her skin and felt some slight sensitivity. She realized with a grimace she was probably covered in hickeys.
Remus grinned ruefully. "Sorry, it looks like I got a bit carried away," he admitted. Rowan sighed and moved towards her mirror. Her neck was indeed painted with red blotches, and her skirt was twisted and rumpled. Her lips were already swollen and red and slightly sore. She buttoned her collar up all the way and sighed with relief that it luckily covered most of them. She pulled her hair over her shoulders, hiding any remaining redness. She hoped the swelling of her lips would fade quickly.
She glanced back at Remus to see him with his hand in his pants, tucking his shirt back in. His face held a grimace, and she noted with half satisfaction, half embarrassment that he was adjusting the physical remnants of their heated moment with some discomfort. He caught her eye and grinned sheepishly.
"Sorry… you just have this effect on me," he said. She laughed with a mild blush as he finished sorting himself out. After smoothing out his clothes, he looked back over at her with a smile.
"Hungry?" She smiled.
"Starving."
Dinner was a beautiful affair, as was expected from Carole and Alfred. The party had grinned knowingly at Rowan and Remus as they'd appeared in the dining room together, and Alfred had eyed Remus with a suspicious look, much to his chagrin. Mina and Sirius had joined them this year as Mina's brother Will had opted to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays [Mina suspected there was a girl he had his eye on] and her parents had decided to vacation alone in Paris. Rowan had invited Peter to bring his mother, but he'd insisted that they were going to visit relatives in Scotland. She felt bad that they were all gathered without him, but she tried not to dwell on it.
After dinner, the party gathered in the living room like the year before, though the gathering was less raucous this year since her father was no longer there encouraging everyone to drink. Rowan looked at his old chair longingly, imagining his gruff laugh and his proud gaze. Just a year before, she'd sat at his feet, listening to him, Lyall and Alfred sharing jokes drunkenly. The house suddenly seemed much too quiet.
"We should go outside and play in the snow!" James suddenly suggested.
Rowan looked up to see her friend suddenly in front of her, pulling her up by the arm from her seat. He smiled at her knowingly, and Rowan understood with a dull ache that he'd read her sad expressions. She felt her throat tighten momentarily with gratitude before she beamed at him.
"Team Pottacroix?" she suggested excitedly. James' face lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Yes! Let's go!" he shouted, running for the door. He grabbed Sirius and Mina by the hand, yanking them from their seats.
"James, no!" Mina protested. Sirius' cheering could be heard echoing down the hall, but in a moment, they were gone.
Julia Potter rolled her eyes at the boys' antics and stood slowly from the couch. "I swear those boys still have the minds of six year-olds," she said, standing to her feet.
"I'll get the towels. You can start heating up the milk," Alfred said exasperatedly to Carole, stalking from the room.
"Lyall, would you care for a drink in the kitchen? We have an excellent bottle of brandy I've been saving for a special occasion," Carole suggested gracefully. Lyall smiled warmly and stood.
"That sounds lovely," he said, following her out. Lily stood with him.
"Lil, you're not coming?" Rowan asked incredulously. Lily smiled but shook her head.
"No, I'm feeling a little under the weather. I don't want to risk a cold," she said ruefully. Rowan pouted, and Lily apologized again before following Carole and Lyall out. Rowan thought suspiciously she moved a little too quickly for someone concerned about sickness.
"Rowan, the gloves and shovels are in the closet by the back door," she called over her shoulder as she exited the room.
Remus stood and joined Rowan, following the adults out. "Team Potta-what?" he asked confusedly. Rowan simply grinned at his wary expression, grabbing his hand and pulling him outside to join their friends.
A long high-pitched shriek rang through the night air. It echoed between the trees' black branches, which slouched over the night against the dark sky. The thick blanket of snow glowed an eerie blue in the moonlight.
"BOOM!"
James cackled maniacally as his snowball collided with Sirius' face with a loud crunch, but his laughter was cut short, dissolving into a series of girly shrieks, as he was assaulted by a wave of flying snowballs. Mina stood from behind Fort Lusurack with her wand brandished, a barrage of snowballs firing at James from what looked like a snow Gatling gun.
"Protego!" Rowan shouted, a shield spreading in front of her teammate. "Get back to the fort, you stupid prat!" she screamed at James. He scrambled backwards behind their barricades, tripping slightly over his boots.
Rowan could see her breath in the cold night air as she listened carefully, crouching low behind their fort. A few incantations could be heard from the other team, and Rowan recognized the low tones as belonging to Remus. Her chest tightened anxiously – he would undoubtedly attack with something inventive – and risked a glance from above the wall. However, the anticipated attack came not from in front, but behind her.
A giant snowy squid erupted from the ground like the sea, tentacles flailing wildly. She shrieked with surprise and dove out of the way as the squid whipped and speared through their walls. Its tentacles drove sharply through their barricades, whipping the snow up in a flurry.
"Stupefy!" James shouted. A beam of red light shot at the squid. It screamed high and noisily, bursting into a large pile of snow.
James guffawed. "Amateur! Take this!" he cried, pointing his wand at the snow in the trees above. The snow began to swirl and contort until a giant, sparkling white owl took form. It swooped down over Remus and Mina's heads dropping – Rowan gaped in disbelief – dung in the form of snowballs.
"James, you little shit!" Mina shrieked. James cackled grandly, his loud guffaws echoing between the trees.
But suddenly, his laughter was cut short as a giant snowy bear suddenly charged through the wall at his end with arms and paws flailing. He disappeared beneath a roaring wave of sparkling white powder with a muffled scream.
"Team Lusurack!" Sirius howled from across the field.
"Jamie!" Rowan cried, diving in after him. She waved her wand widely, pushing the snow back and off of them, quickly rebuilding the wall before Team Lusurack could take it down completely.
"Last resort!" she shouted at James as they scrambled to their feet, hair and clothes completely covered in snow.
"OPERATION MERLIN COMEBACK!" he cried.
The young man jumped over their barricades out into the open, much to the other team's surprise. A wave of snowballs assaulted him. The trio's wands swished and waved with a barrage of snow shooting from their fort, but James stood still taking the brunt of the snow. Instead of dodging, he seemed to be collecting the snow, doing his very best to be hit by all of it.
Rowan remained behind the wall in the meantime. She muttered a series of enchantments at her teammate, wand raised over the walls discreetly. The accumulating snow began to contort and build and grow, covering James completely. Remus' eyes widened in understanding slowly.
"Stop! Cease fire!" he shouted at Mina and Sirius, but it was too late.
A snowy dragon about nine feet tall stood where James had been. It roared deafeningly with feet stomping on the ground, white puffs of snow billowing out from beneath its feet. The snow that remained in the trees above shook and fell around them, only adding to the dragon's volume.
"ATTACK!" Rowan commanded.
The dragon stormed forward with a shriek, stampeding through Fort Lusurack's barriers. The three dodged out of the way as the dragon thrashed and flailed, destroying all the barricades that remained. It howled and roared, blowing snow from its mouth like fire and smoke. Rowan cheered and leapt up from behind Fort Pottacroix with victory.
"WE WIN!" she shouted.
The dragon crumbled with a final roar and wave of snow, and James emerged dizzily, stumbling over himself with an elated grin and coated with white chunks of snow and ice.
"Team Pottacroix!" James cried before tripping over a large pile and falling into the snow. He gave another weak victory cry and then collapsed.
Rowan laughed and danced happily, emerging from behind her fort. But suddenly she saw a large form charging towards her. She shrieked as a barrage of snow rained down on her, followed by a hard chest, and she flew backwards into the snow with a yelp.
When she was sure there was no snow left, she creaked her eyes open and peaked between her arms to see Remus crouching over her with a smirk. His light hair glowed in the blue moonlight, eyes crinkled with mirth.
"Rude," she pouted.
He snorted. "Says you." He pushed her shoulder playfully.
She harrumphed but remained on her back staring up at him. "You're just jealous of my genius."
"Yeah, yeah, so jealous," Remus said, reaching down to pull her up. She took his hand and he yanked her to her feet swiftly, helping her sweep the snow from her clothes and hair. Her stocking-clad legs were quite numb at this point, and she shivered as the adrenaline began to drip away. She'd be grateful for that hot chocolate.
"Operation Merlin Comeback, huh?" Remus asked, smirking at her. Rowan grinned as he patted another tuft of snow from her hair.
"Yeah, brilliant, wasn't it?"
"It was something," he said. "Your idea?"
Rowan nodded. "Yeah, James and I used something like it when we played with the other kids in the area when we were younger, and we never lost. The Fawley brothers hated us," she laughed.
"How did you use that when you couldn't use magic?" Remus asked with confusion.
Rowan grinned. "Well, basically, James would just rush the other team's fort and tackle the shit out of them while I crept up behind with a shovel. This was just a modified version."
Remus stared disbelievingly. "Seriously?" he asked.
Rowan puffed out her chest. "Worked every time," she justified.
She looked over at the other fort to see Sirius and Mina dumping snow on top of James, who had collapsed to the ground on his back. She grinned.
"Should we help him?" she asked.
"Nah, you should probably be more concerned for yourself," Remus said. He then turned towards Rowan and grinned. Rowan saw the look on his face, and her eyes widened.
"No, no, no, Remus, don't!" she cried, but he grabbed her and hauled her over his shoulder with a grunt. The world spun wildly, and she suddenly couldn't find the ground.
"Seriously? Why do you always do this?" she screamed. He just laughed and moved back towards the remains of his team's fort much to Mina and Sirius' entertainment, but just as he was about to dump her in the snow with her comrade, Alfred poked his head out the door.
"Ready to come in yet?" he called.
Rowan cheered, "Hot chocolate!" Her arms flailed against Remus' back.
Remus sighed and tossed her into the pile of snow. She shrieked as she fell into the white powder and looked up to see Mina, Sirius, and Remus running towards the door.
"Jerks!" she shouted after them, before scrambling to her feet. "Come on!" she urged James. She heard him groan from beneath the snow before running after the others.
"Achoo!"
The five young adults sat in front of the living room fireplace wrapped in heavy towels with mugs full of hot chocolate in their hands. Carole had dried them off as soon as they'd come into the kitchen shivering and soaked, but the chill still remained in their bones and muscles. Rowan's skin burned and prickled from the iciness that remained in her blood and huddled subconsciously towards Remus for warmth. He smiled softly and wrapped an arm around her.
"You all are unbelievable. If you catch sick from this, it's your fault," Julia scolded.
James sniffled slightly but glared. "It was worth it. Team Pottacroix remains undefeated!" he declared. Lily rolled her eyes as she sat down next to him with her own mug.
While they were outside, Alfred had pulled Rowan's albums from her room again and had put the record player on. Her old jazz albums played softly as the older adults laughed and joked amongst themselves over glasses of wine and brandy. Rowan looked around at her friends all huddled on the floor and noted fondly that despite being legal adults, they were still very much like children. She hoped they'd always stay that way.
But then Lily and James stood suddenly from the floor, and James took Lily's hand with a serious look.
"Everyone, we have an announcement to make," James said. He smiled at Lily, who beamed up at him. They seemed to share a silent prayer. Rowan's chest tightened. She knew that look. She'd seen it before. They couldn't be…?
"I'm pregnant!"
Rowan nearly choked on her own lungs.
"Oh my darlings!" Julia cried, leaping from her seat. She rushed forward faster than Rowan had ever seen her move and swooped the two into her arms. The older woman let out a shaky sob and clutched James and Lily to her.
"Oh, a baby! A baby!" she cried. She pulled away and held Lily's face in her hands. "Oh, you darling girl! I can't believe… Oh!" She pulled Lily in again and squeezed her tightly. The redhead beamed and hugged her back, laughing happily.
"Congratulations, sweetheart!" Carole exclaimed warmly, moving towards James and hugging him fiercely. He grinned and seemingly engulfed the small woman in his arms. "When are you due?" Carole asked excitedly.
"End of July we think," James said. Lyall and Alfred had also stood and were clapping James on the back.
Rowan snapped from her stupor as realization hit her. A baby! Her heart felt like it had been jolted with electricity. A baby! James and Lily were going to have a baby! She shoved her hot chocolate to the side and leapt to her feet, stumbling over the towel and Remus haphazardly, before throwing her arms around Lily.
"Oh my god!" she squealed. She pulled away and held Lily by the shoulders. The two women beamed at each other, faces lit up with overwhelming joy. She felt that same heated surge of affection that she'd first felt for Lily in those quiet moments over breakfast in the Great Hall as schoolgirls. Rowan squealed and hugged her again. "I'm so, so happy for you! Oh my god, a baby!" She pulled away and then turned towards James, who was grinning at her joyously. She threw herself at her dear friend and felt her chest tremble.
"Oh, Jamie," she croaked. "I can't believe it. Congratulations!" He squeezed her tightly before letting her go. His eyes glowed brightly at her, and she beamed.
"Congrats, mate," Remus said, standing to join them with an elated smile. Sirius and Mina had engulfed Lily, shouting happily around her. James grinned and hugged Remus roughly. Rowan watched the two with happiness bursting from her veins. Every semblance of the cold winter was completely gone. She felt as if she could heat all of Gryffindor Tower with her joy.
As Remus moved towards Lily to hug her as well, James pulled Rowan to the side a bit and gave her a burning look. "You'll be godmother, won't you?" he asked quietly.
Rowan thought her heart might explode. James gazed at her earnestly, brown eyes glowing with excitement. Her eyes stung with tears, but she swallowed them down and smiled with as much sincerity as she could muster.
"Are you kidding? Do you even have to ask?" she rushed. James beamed and hugged her tightly again. Rowan wanted to scream with joy, but she kept her rambling words of thanks to a quiet whisper. She didn't want to make this about her.
As they moved back towards the others, Rowan watched James wrap his arms around Lily. She thought of the protective looks Arthur gave Molly and her heart clenched with affection. Was it possible to find one's soul mate? Surely, James and Lily were if such a thing truly existed. She felt a dull ache of envy and wondered if she'd ever have that sort of happiness.
She scanned over Lily's belly. She couldn't see any noticeable bump yet, but soon - soon! A summer baby just like her… would it be a boy or a girl? Would it look like James or Lily? And she was going to be godmother! Her mind suddenly swam with images of a laughing infant, of chasing after a tiny version of James.
She was suddenly struck with a pang of sadness. She wouldn't be having children anytime soon - not that she thought she was ready - but she had hoped that hers and James' children would grow up playing together in the same way she and James had. James' child would undoubtedly be much older than Rowan's, and though they'd probably retain that sibling-like relationship, it wouldn't really be the same.
A hand suddenly grasped hers, and she looked up to see Remus smiling down at her gently. He squeezed her hand and gazed at her with an overwhelming sense of warmth. She felt her face melt into a smile, and she squeezed back.
As the night went on, many toasts were made and even a few tears were shed from Julia and Carole. In the dark days they were in, the news of a new life was welcomed with an incredible sense of joy. Everyone felt a surge of hope at the thought of a baby – perhaps it would be friends with Molly and Arthur's child. Rowan looked at Mina and Sirius and wondered if they would marry anytime soon as well. She smiled and thought of the children they'd produce. She smirked to herself – any children they had together would probably be too beautiful for the eyes of mere mortals. They'd certainly have to keep an eye on them to make sure they didn't get into too much trouble.
But the fear in Rowan's heart began to creep back out. She looked down thoughtfully at Remus' hand that was laced with hers. When he'd asked her to be with him again, he'd said that he wanted to share his life with her in all ways – did that mean he wanted to get married now? She hadn't bothered to ask - there had been no point, since she'd assumed he would just leave again. It'd been a while since she'd even thought of marriage – she'd pushed it from her mind completely after Remus had left her. The question suddenly burned into her mind painfully.
But the rest of the evening passed happily with lots of laughter and music, and by the time they left, it was quite late. As Rowan hugged her mother and Alfred goodnight as the last to leave after helping to clean up, she gazed around her childhood home and wondered when she'd be able to bring a grandchild home for her mother. She wondered achingly if it'd be with Remus.
The two stepped out into the cold night and Rowan gazed up thoughtfully at the sky. The moon was beginning to wax, though the full moon was still off by a couple of weeks. She was still so far from achieving her goal. Would marriage even be a feasible possibility before she reached it?
"Rowan."
She looked up to see Remus gazing down at her thoughtfully. She shook herself mentally and forced a smile.
"Hm?"
Remus frowned but didn't say anything. His fingers squeezed hers tightly, questioningly, but she maintained her smile. Her stomach clenched nervously, but she held his gaze. She hoped he'd buy it.
"How many children do you want?"
Rowan's heart stopped. She gaped at him openly. Children? Her lungs felt like they were imploding, collapsing in on themselves painfully with the frigid air. He couldn't possibly mean…
Remus smiled gently and lifted a hand to her face. His fingers were warm in the icy chill of the night. They felt so large against her face.
"Breathe," he whispered. She inhaled raggedly, chest clenching painfully. She couldn't believe he'd just asked her that. This wasn't some joke. He would never be so cruel, would he?
"I think I'd like two," he mused. His smile remained, twisting with mild amusement. "They'll be younger than James and Lily's but maybe Sirius and Mina will have kids around the same age as ours."
Rowan's lips trembled. Her eyes stung hotly as his fingers slid into her hair.
"What do you think?" he asked quietly, bringing her face in closer to his. She could see every glowing scar on his face, every speckle of brown in his green eyes, even in the dark. There was so much sincerity, so much warmth – if this was a dream, it was the cruelest trick her mind had ever played on her.
"You can't be serious," she whispered. She searched his face rapidly, looking for even the slightest indication of doubt. There was none.
He smiled. "Like the dead." Her lips began to tremble.
Her eyes stung with tears. She blinked rapidly, hoping to swallow them down. She couldn't believe this was truly happening.
"I'd like twins," she croaked. Her tears finally spilled over as the words seemed to take form. Her mind was filled with images of precocious little boys like Bill Weasley with Remus' kind eyes. Would they have her smile or his? Her face burned.
"Not anytime soon though! I still have a lot to do before then!" she clarified hurriedly. Remus smiled broadly and leaned his forehead against hers.
"But someday," he said softly. She nodded jerkily against him and hiccoughed slightly. He thumbed the few tears away, and she breathed deeply, calming her seizing lungs.
A family with this man – could such a future really be possible? The very idea seemed ludicrous - she thought she'd accepted long ago that it'd never happen - but the small hum of hope that had been thrumming deep within her for the past month and a half began to sing deafeningly. She clung to him with clenching fingers, gripping at his waist desperately. How had this happened? How had she lost? Her head swam with the realization. It was too cruel. She wanted to laugh at the irony of it all.
"I love you," she whispered. The words spilled from her lips like a fountain had burst in her chest.
Remus' answering smile was bright enough to light all of London.