A text message arrived early in the morning. At that time, though, Seth was still asleep. When he finally woke up, he had three unread messages and four missed calls. All from Dean. The worst possible scenario filled Seth's mind. What could have happened last night? It was time to find out.
Before proceeding with other morning rituals, Seth – still lying in the bed – grabbed his phone again, which was back on the nightstand where it spent the night. The battery was low but hopefully it would suffice for that one call.
While he waited for the person to pick up, Seth left the bed and started walking around the room, in a rather furious manner. "Come on," Seth insisted. His tone already sounded annoyed and he didn't even know what happened with Dean. What he had possibly done. "Dean," Seth called.
That was when Dean answered, "Yep?"
"Dean! What the hell's up?"
"Oh." Somewhat enthusiastic tone was totally gone. "I've done a terrible mistake," Dean admitted.
Seth sat down. He prepared for the worst. "Oh, God," Seth exclaimed, even before hearing the bad news.
"I . . . last night." Dean had difficulty finding the right words. "Seth, I don't think this is something we should discuss over the phone. Could we meet up?"
"Sure." He put the pressure on the phone with his head and the right shoulder so that he'd free his hands. To save time, he was already gathering the clothes he'd in a minute put on. "Where?"
"Could you come to the bar?"
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Ok. You're right. How about if you came over to my place?"
"Fine," Seth uttered. Then he asked – as if he forgot about it before – "Is Renee there?"
Something like a bitter chuckle could be heard form Dean's side. Then, "No."
"I'll be there as soon as I can."
Seth really appeared to be in a hurry. He sensed the time played a role here. Maybe the disaster had already cast its spell, but the consequences were not final yet. Seth had to keep the believe that even if a terrible thing happened, he could still do something about it if he came soon enough.
On the way to Dean's place, Seth wanted to let Roman know that there was some kind of emergency, but the battery died before he could even get to the point. He was on his own. Just keep a cool head, he reminded himself.
Before getting inside, Seth stopped for a minute. He put his head in his hands and massaged his face. He wanted to put enough pressure on it to make it numb. Make his whole body and mind numb. But that didn't work. Nor could he enter without prejudice.
Dean opened the door with a hand towel over his head. All that he had on was black underwear and a bathrobe with Dean's DA sign on it. Seth looked very disapprovingly at it, but soon he realized there were more important things to focus on right now.
Seth attentively watched Dean's face and tried to analyze what he saw. The results could be summed up in he fucked up.
"Come in," Dean said.
That look full of despise on Seth's face was there to stay. He knew he had every right to judge him; he sensed that it was exactly what was expected of him.
"You're gonna tell me what happened, or what?"
"Just sit down first. Please." Dean appeared unusually defenseless. As if he was ready to accept the defeat.
Seth – a little surprised – did as asked. He stopped wandering around the room and sat down, opposite to Dean. But soon Dean himself stood up; he couldn't handle the pressure of being looked at directly.
"Seth, I . . . I don't know what to say. You were right; you have been right all along." Dean looked away. He created a distance between him and the couch that Seth was sitting on.
"Okay," Seth said slowly.
"No. You can say it now. Say'I told you so.'"
"Dean, what happened?" At the moment, Seth appeared more concerned than angry.
Dean sighed heavily. Then he smiled – but it was one of those fucked up smiles when you just refuse the cruel reality. There was nothing funny but he had to smile. "Aah," Dean exclaimed, as though somebody just stabbed him in the back. He made a corresponding back movement too.
"Dean," Seth asked for his attention, and most of all, for sanity. Seth left the couch and came to Dean. "Would you feel better if I told you I'm not gonna condemn you no matter what happened?"
"Yeah," Dean laughed. "You can say it now, but when you learn the truth, you won't even look at me."
"Just say it, damn it!" Seth was losing his temper.
Dean pressed on his eyelids and wrinkled his nose. Then he opened his eyes again, making them look much more bigger than they actually were. "Could you punch me in the face first?" Dean asked.
"No," Seth refused to do him that strange favor.
When Dean seemed to be about to fulfil his wish using his own fist, Seth stopped him. "Is it that bad?" he asked.
"Cassie had a party last night," Dean informed Seth.
"I know."
"Yeah, well . . ."
"You slept with her," Seth guessed, very convinced of the guess being right.
Dean laughed. "Hell. That's the only good thing about last night; I didn't."
For a second, Seth felt relieved. Unfortunately, he realized there was no reason for being happy just yet. He asked, "Then what? You went over, right?"
"Yep."
"Weren't you with Renee last night?"
"Yeah. Before. She told me about her conversation with Cassie. She told me Cassie was leaving and that her brother would move into her house. And that she was throwing a going-away party. Renee said I could go for, you know, acceptably short amount of time."
"And you did."
Dean nodded.
"Damn it, Dean! You haven't learned a thing? You shouldn't have gone there." Seth spoke with great irritation.
"I know." Dean didn't even look at him. The guilt was all over him. "But I did. And I really meant to spend only few minutes there, to say goodbye and go, but everybody asked me to drink this and drink that and . . ."
"You got drunk. Of course."
Dean had to accept Seth's contempt. He knew it was deserved.
"It was terrible," Dean reflected. "I got absolutely wasted; I had no idea what I was doing. I don't even remember most of the night. Just in the morning I found out."
"Found out what?" Seth asked, afraid of the answer.
"That what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas. Screw this city. It would've never happened if I lived in, say, Cincinnati. I probably said to Cassie that since she was leaving the city, we should go out and really enjoy it, you know. Or something like that, I guess, because I recall a memory of wandering outside. I remember that at one point we were running through the road and we were almost hit by a car. But we both survived," Dean said, and made that frightened expression on Seth's face disappear. Dean was looking abstractly behind Seth – Seth looked too, but there was nothing special. Dean just probably found a good spot that helped him reflect on last night – or early morning. Staring at the wall, he continued, "And of that other event I have only a slight memory. I wasn't aware of what I was doing. There's no way I'd do it intentionally." He looked at Seth to say, "Believe me." Then he returned to the vagueness. "I have no idea how we got there, or why, but somehow we got into the chapel and we got married."
Silence that followed didn't last very long. "No. No, no, no, no, no! Fuck you, Dean. Tell me you're lying."
Dean didn't say a thing. He looked like he seriously lacked courage to speak again. After confessing the crime.
"Unbelievable! You're an absolute idiot, you know that? You just screwed up your whole life."
Dean appeared he wanted to say something, maybe remind him that annulment was an option, but in the end, Dean stayed quiet. And it was probably for the best.
"You've seriously let me down. But I guess I should have seen it coming. I should've known you would do something terrible and so, so stupid." Then Seth asked, really enjoying that question – for very vicious reasons, "Have you told Renee?"
Finally Dean spoke again. "Yes." The expressionless emotion was hard to maintain and Dean looked like he would break down soon.
"And?" Seth demanded that Dean finish the confession. But Dean couldn't, apparently. "It's over," Seth guessed.
Dean never looked so small in his whole life. And desperate. He didn't even want to talk, but he found the last bit of energy to confirm, "Yes, we broke up."
"I don't even know what to say," Seth replied. He was really angry and, evidently, let down. Startled. Taken back.
"Renee said the same thing," Dean quietly uttered.
"I knew she was making a mistake when she started dating you. You only caused her pain. I knew Cassie was a trouble. Oh," he said with despise, "you two really found each other. Two problematic people who enjoy hurting others, huh?" He breathed heavily. "If you weren't so impulsive. If you thought for a second," Seth shouted. Then he calmed down – at least tried to. "You're a dick. And she," he said with clenched teeth. "She's a lying bitch. Exactly your type, isn't she? Two notorious liars."
"Seth," Dean tried to stop him. He was taking it too far.
"What? Is there more? You got fucking married!" he screamed. "Renee left you. Now what? Cassie's staying? You're back together?"
"No," Dean said, calmly.
"Why not? She's your wife now."
"Seth."
"This is her fault just as yours. If not more. You know, I really should have expected something like this from you. But I thought she was better."
"Really?" Dean's skeptical tone indicated he didn't believe him.
"Yes. Ok, I admit, I wasn't always a big of hers, but after she addressed me in that letter –" Dean's surprised expression made Seth stop and explain, "She wrote me a letter, okay?" Then he continued, "I thought that maybe, after all, she was a nice person. That she meant no harm. But I see I was wrong. And in the end, all she did in that letter was lie." Seth didn't even give Dean chance to ask about the letter. Seth didn't want to talk about it now – or ever. "She's a liar just like you." He decided to give a few examples. "She said she would never cheat. That she knows what it's like and wouldn't cause someone that pain. Now she did it. Just like that. No guilt whatsoever. And you know what? She said I should be more supportive of you. But how can I be after this? Do you want me to support this marriage? What if I threw in a wedding gift, huh? You'd like that?"
"She said you should be more supportive of me?" Dean asked.
"Yeah," Seth replied energetically. "She said – well, wrote, to be precise – that I don't believe in you. That you cannot count on me."
Dean smiled.
"But I feel like I cannot count on you. You're so unreliable. You see what you've done? Are you happy now?"
"Seth, shut up." Dean had enough. "Cassie was right. You don't believe in me. You think that I fuck up everything I touch, don't you?"
"Well, prove me wrong."
Dean didn't reply to that challenge. Seth assumed he had nothing to counter his statement with.
Dean walked away.
Seth was alone. He felt a little guilty. But was he supposed to apologize? That made no sense. Dean was the one who did something bad here. Yet Seth couldn't leave it like that. He followed Dean into his bedroom.
There were boxes on the floor as well as on the bed. "What's that?" Seth asked, pointing at the mess.
"I meant to ask Renee if she'd move in with me."
"I guess the whole marriage thing prevented you from asking her that."
"No; I did," Dean said, sitting on the bed.
Seth kept standing by the wall. "What did she say?" Seth asked in a rather provocative manner.
"No."
"Of course."
Dean reflected. "She said she doesn't think Las Vegas is a place where we should be living. So I'm moving to New York to live with her. Then we'll find our own place."
"What?"
"Renee and I are moving in together," Dean said casually.
"How's that? You said you broke up."
"Well, we didn't. Also, I didn't get married. I'm not that stupid, Seth."
"You lied?"
"Yeah. As you said, it's what I do all the time, isn't?"
"What actually happened?" Seth asked. He wanted to hear it from the beginning because he didn't know what to believe in.
"What happened, you ask? You proved me that you sooner believe something bad that I've supposedly done than that I've done something right."
"You didn't get drunk and marry Cassie?"
"No." Dean laughed. Then he got serious again. "But I don't know how to feel about the fact that you so easily believed that I would." It was hard to tell if Dean was seriously concerned or not. "I wasn't even at her place at all. I told you I was done with her." He paused for a moment to organize his thoughts. "I get that I used to tend to do stupid things and lie, but it's over now. I appreciate all the chances Renee has given too much to screw up again. She trusts me now. It's funny that you're more suspicious of me than she is."
"I'm sorry, Dean."
"The problem is, you expect me to fuck up." He looked at his fingertips, which were rhythmically drumming on the bed.
"Would it make any difference if I said I'm really happy for you?"
For a moment, Seth was worried, but then Dean chuckled. "Yeah," he replied.
"I promise that from now on I'll always believe in you."
"No, you won't, you bastard."
"I'm serious. There won't be any I'm-better-than-you attitude."
"Oh, I know. Because I'll beat that out of you when I return." He stood up and lifted one box off the floor to put it on the bed. Then he turned to Seth, "Now that you're here, could you help me pack?"
Seth looked at him suspiciously. "Is that why you came up with this whole lie? To get me here and help you pack?"
"No," Dean replied, pretending to be offended by that accusation, but one just knew he was lying again.
One chapter to go.