"There are things I miss, that I shouldn't,
and things I don't, that I should.

Sometimes we want what we couldn't,
sometimes we love who we could."
-Lang Leav

Author's Note: "Cry" from A Walk To Remember was on repeat as I wrote this part of the story. Feel free to listen to it while you read.

20160; 336

With success comes challenges, and with that comes change.

Time was no longer available for both of their leisure. It was no longer available for one to spend with their loved ones or reconnect with friends. Time no longer provided space for intimacy. It only provided the opportunity for productivity in one's line of work.

But citizens were happy. Fans were happy. If everyone else was happy, maybe sacrificing one didn't seem all that bad.

Like old photographs, memories, and challenges, their relationship began to change. And like old photographs, its faded images that were once glossy, bright, and vibrant, their relationship had grown stagnant and quiet. They became strangers in their own marriage, forgetting moments that they used to have together back when things were much simpler.

The calls became less frequent.

The text messages were brief and short.

Visits were rare.

They had basically stalled.

Two years further in their hanging marriage, Noctis stood in his bedroom, looking at himself in the mirror. He fixed his perfectly styled hair, the crooked tie on his neck, and adjusted the ring on his finger. He looked at the time and found that he was on schedule. But despite his perfect routine, he couldn't help but sit down at the edge of his big bed, letting out a heavy sigh as he stared at his open wall.

His chest weighed down along with his heart and it took him weeks, or rather months, to self-diagnose his problem. It was uncertainty. His heart wasn't his brain, but he struggled with the horrible thought of not being in love with his husband any longer.

As the days passed, he realized that he couldn't deny it any longer.

He felt alone and Prompto was too far out of reach for him. Noctis knew that he still loved his sunshine haired photographer, who he'd sometimes see in the papers or online, but he knew that the love he felt wasn't the same like it used to. They haven't made love in months. Prompto hasn't been visiting. Date nights were never a thing, because with their schedules and distance, it was far from possible. In fact, the more Noctis thought about it, he saw more of Prompto in their short and infrequent video calls than he did in person. How could he possibly ask his husband to satisfy his lust over the camera?

Turning his head, he looked at his empty bed. He missed it. He missed the attraction, the activities—everything. The distance was one thing, isolation was another. The lack of communication foreshadowed their marriage's demise, but it was the heavy feeling in his heart that brought the gravel down in the shallow waters.

Sometimes, Prompto thought about moving on but his heart wouldn't let him. He still loved Noctis even though every night he went to their home only to lie in a bed with a cold side unoccupied at the end for many days. He missed the nights when they'd stay up just whispering to each other; the games, the trees, the movies, the running, the coffee, everything.

The only thing that would sometimes get him through the day were the photographs from their wedding day, including the photo that Regis handed to him.

Noctis' visits to Niflheim and Tenebrae were becoming frequent. He was obligated to attend an annual Winter ball at Tenebrae for appearances sake and had to reject Prompto's offer to come back home for the holidays. Like always, Prompto would smile forcefully and said he understood before hanging up soon after.

The lack of argument and Prompto's peaceful conceding bothered Noctis. He thought that maybe if Prompto had fought for his time a little harder, he would have said yes. But then he remembered that he couldn't have said yes. He was too busy.

With their relationship dry and cold like the winter breeze, Noctis moved on. With a drink in his hand and a smile on his face, he lifted his eyes. It was there at the celebration at Tenebrae that he got closer to Lady Lunafreya.

"Do you still have that journal I gave you when we were children, Noctis?" Lunafreya had asked him that night.

Noctis remembered during the hardest times in his finals week, Prompto had convinced Ignis to lend him his key to Noctis' apartment so that he could sneak in past midnight when Noctis was completely knocked out. He would place a pack of Noctis' favorite candy bars next to his annotated textbooks before tiptoeing over to Noctis' sleeping figure and gently taping a note on his forehead. With a victorious smile on his face, Prompto quietly snickered before backtracking and leaving his apartment quietly.

When Noctis woke up the next morning, the first thing he noticed was the tape and paper stuck on his forehead that kept him from rubbing his eyes. He took it off and squinted his half-opened eyes to take a closer look at what was written on it. As his vision cleared, he noticed that what was written weren't letters, but zeroes and ones.

It was Prompto.

"01000111 01101111 01101111 01100100 00100000 01101100 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100101 01111000 01100001 01101101 01110011 00101100 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100001 01110010 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100001"

Noctis' eyes dragged down to the bottom part of the message.

"01001001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101101 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100001"

Despite having just woken up and stressed he was the other night, Noctis got up on his feet and took the time to decode. As he walked to his class that morning, he quickly copied the numbers onto his cellphone to use a translator and read what Prompto wrote for him.

Good luck on your exams, charming!

His professor called his name out for attendance.

I love you so much!

"Here!" Noctis raised his hand with a small smile. The students gasped at his sudden radiance. It was going to be a good day.

Christmas had passed and all that was shared between them was a card and a small box on Prompto's part.

A simple gift was also sent to him; a couple of gift cards and a simple letter.

Prompto didn't know what to send, so he sent a pack of Noctis' favorite candy bars, just like he used to.

It was supposed to feel wrong, maybe at first it did, but as time went by, his relationship with Lunafreya changed and their attraction grew. What went from innocent glances and conversations eventually transformed into something more physical. Nobody in Niflheim knew he was married except Lunafreya and a few others, because behind the camera he wore his ring. His marriage with Prompto was private and away from public's view. But there was also no hiding their separation.

When Lunafreya took the first step and slanted her soft lips over to Noctis', everything changed.

And when Noctis brought Lunafreya to the Crown City, he took her to his apartment to stay. He laid her down on his bed and blocked away the voice inside his head that told him that Lunafreya didn't belong there. The voice that kept telling him that it was Prompto's bed as well as his, but never Lunafreya's. But he blocked it once more, ignored and rationalized that Prompto was no longer there, that they've fallen apart, and that he needed something. Something that Lunafreya could give him and Prompto could no longer.

Lunafreya was different. She was soft and sensitive, Noctis liked it. And everyone had always thought they were perfect for each other. Supremes from across the world would travel the other side just to get to her. Even though she didn't make his heart beat the way Prompto had, she gave him the satisfaction and he felt good. Her mouth had wonders and skills, something he hasn't felt in a long time, and he let her have her way with him even if he knew he shouldn't have. She could give him a family, one that Prompto could and will never be able to. She could give him a new place to call home.

Just before he lowed himself on Lunafreya's body, he took her hand and she took his, slipping his wedding ring off and tossed it to the side where it silently fell and rolled across his bedroom floor.

It was late in September that Prompto suffered excruciating pain. He noticed it when the headaches he would have occasionally became more frequent and they wouldn't go away.

Sometimes it hurt so much he would cry from it. He also noticed he felt fatigued very easily. After weeks of trying to cope with the pain with over-the-counter pills, he caved in. Something was wrong. At first, he thought it was work related, that it was stress perhaps, maybe it was from worrying too much over his marriage. But maybe it would go away with stronger medication from the doctor.

So, Prompto traveled back to the city and expected good prognosis only to come out of the clinic feeling like the whole world had completely fallen apart, his heart heavy as hell.

The doctor told him that he was scheduled to have a CT scan the next day, but for the first time, Prompto didn't want to do it alone. He needed someone to be with, and the first person that came to mind was Noctis, his best friend, his husband and his rock. He stayed in the city after his doctor's appointment and made up his mind to head over to Noctis' apartment, holding back his tears and trying to maintain a strong front as he took the train.

Afterwards, he took a taxi, only to blank out when the driver asked him for an address. Prompto realized that in that moment, he didn't know. He couldn't remember. He tried to remember, but he couldn't recall the address that he had once known like the back of his hand.

Completely flustered and upset because he couldn't explain his sudden and temporary memory loss, Prompto apologized and jumped out of the car. He decided to run to Noctis' place instead, because unlike an address, he remembered with his faded memory, the streets and corners where his walked with Noctis in the past.

Prompto had high hopes that maybe they'd reconcile and take a couple of days to make up for the year of time that was lost. He hoped and imagined, like the stories he wrote back home, but as his eyes focused on Noctis coming out of the entrance of his apartment building with a woman and their hands intertwined, smiling happily, Prompto stopped walking and watched as all those hopes fell apart.

And like the magnifying pain that he had felt in those past weeks, Prompto's strong front crumbled and his eyes watered slowly before trickling down until he couldn't bear any of it anymore. With shaking knees and water-filled eyes, he took a step back and ran the other direction. Alone.

Cindy Aurum was about to close her garage for the night when she saw a familiar blonde in tears running towards her shop. Panicking because it was the middle of the night, she removed her grease-covered gloves immediately and took him in with open arms as she tried to carry his full weight only to have them both drop to the ground. Prompto cried uncontrollably and as Cindy searched for happiness in her heart to cheer him up, she couldn't.

Her heart pounded in heartbreak as she cradled the man in her arms, her chest drenched in tears that didn't belong to her. At one point, she couldn't tell anymore because she was crying with him. She whispered what seemed like thousands of "sorry"s to her friend, but she knew it wouldn't change a thing.

"I'm gonna stay with you, my bundle of sunshine." Cindy cooed him, hushing his cries. "Don't you worry, we're gonna go through this together."

Hammerhead's garage was closed for days and Cindy went up to Cape Caem with Prompto. She convinced Nyx to return to the Citadel with no complaint. Noctis didn't ask for a reason and Prompto expected that much since days without Nyx turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, and Noctis hasn't contacted him to ask why.

"Hey, paw-paw," Cindy smiled sadly on the phone once Prompto fell asleep on her couch. "Listen… I might close the garage temporarily…"

"Naw, you don't have to do that. I got you covered."

Tourists, citizens, and hunters who stopped over at Hammerhead to have a gorgeous woman fix their vehicles wondered where she had gone. Cid had taken over her shop and reassured his granddaughter that he was still strong. Cindy's reputation made their garage business successful and Cid reminded her that her passion will always be ready for her when she returns.

As for now, she set her priorities on helping Prompto out. Not just with his condition, but with his career as well. She would take him places that he couldn't go on his own, drive a boat towards the middle of the sea and spontaneously deciding to take him to Altissia.

Slowly growing out of the state Prompto was in after hearing the assessment of his health condition, Prompto had a new smile on his face. His laughter had become genuine and he used his camera frequently once again. Life was coming back to him she thought, and Cindy thanked the Astrals above.

It was all Prompto wanted for the longest time—to open his eyes and see Noctis next to him. To stretch out his hand and touch the yielding warmth of his skin. But now he had learned the secret of distance. Now he knew that being close to him was never about the proximity.

And time was ticking for him.

It was the longest he had gone without intimate, human contact. He began to crave it after a while and nearly obsessed over the most trivial things that he once received. Like arms wrapped around his waist, kisses on his neck, or kind words. How long, Prompto wondered, will it take until his sickness reached its peak and make him lose all his recollection of love?

He traveled places with Cindy and without being aware of it, he stopped wondering. Even if his head had started to forget, his heart knew that his love for Noctis will never change. He didn't want to admit it. But things had changed. And time was itching to get him going.

Massaging the finger that once wore a golden band, Prompto had decided he needed to change.

Ten months into the year, heading to the middle of Winter, Lunafreya had once again returned to Insomnia. She sat on Noctis' bed, waiting for him to come out of the shower. In her hand was Noctis' wedding band, which Lunafreya kept playing with, inspecting every aspect and every detail. It was gorgeous and simple, a ring in which she mused she'd wear better if Noctis had chosen her. The thought kept Lunafreya entertained until Noctis came back to the room fully clothed, drying off with a towel wrapped around his neck.

"What are you doing here, Luna?" Noctis asked with a small smile.

"Hello to you too, dear Noctis." Lunafreya gently smiled, her accent sounding beautifully. "I was just thinking—actually I've been thinking about this for a while, really."

Noctis zipped up his pants then grabbed a casual jacket before looking at Lunafreya. "What's on your mind?" When he saw the ring in Lunafreya's finger, Noctis sighed. "Luna."

"Noctis, why are you still with him?" Lunafreya asked quietly. "Why don't you just divorce him?"

Noctis bit his lip. "Luna, he's—"

"You've alienated each other—no—you've been estranged for so long," Lunafreya explained. "Your relationship with him was already beyond dead and repair when I met you. Why are you still trying to hold on to something when neither of you feel anything for each other anymore?"

"You can't assume he doesn't feel anything for me anymore," Noctis argued. "And I can't just slap divorce papers on him so suddenly. He needs some notice, at least. It's unprofessional, even for me as a King."

"Then give him a notice," Lunafreya suggested, playing with the ring on her finger. "In fact, have one of your lawyers deliver those papers to him. Would you rather, Ignis? That's notice and comfort enough, don't you think?"

"Luna, I need to be careful with those kinds of things before the public—"

"…Noctis." Lunafreya gave him a look and cupped his cheeks. "It's better to end things now, so we can really have a fresh beginning. My mother cannot wait for us to be together. If you leave him, you and I can get married and the both of you can move on. Let's face it, he probably has someone else too. It's been too long."

Noctis' stomach tightened at the thought of Prompto having another man. It was hard to imagine and ultimately struck a chord in his heart. Lunafreya was trying to jump on a dangerous part of him and leaving Prompto had always been a thought he could never possibly do. "Luna…"

"I love you, Noctis. I know you love me too." Lunafreya rasped as she stood up and wrapped her arms around his neck gently. "So just do it, please. I don't have time to stick around here with you. If you leave him and we get married, we can be together wherever and whenever we want. I can travel all over the world with you, beside you. Do it for us. For him. For all of us."

Prompto finally told Cindy his relationship with Noctis, and when she asked him if he was aware of the faults he had. He said yeah, he was aware. Painfully aware. That instead of fighting his way back into Noctis' heart, he pushed himself away because he didn't want to cause the man trouble. He was the King and there was no room for stupid things like his feelings. Well, those stupid "feelings" weren't just anybody's feelings. Those feelings were his feelings. Even if Cindy tried to persuade him into meeting up with Noctis and telling him his condition, Prompto would constantly deny every chance she had to bring it up.

"If he's happy, that's enough for me." Prompto would quickly change the subject as he pointed out one night during dinner. "Can I have some wine?"

"No, Prompto." Cindy slapped his hand as he tried to reach her glass of wine. "The doctor specifically told me not to give you things like that. Stick to your water, sweetheart."

The two of them had a nice conversation. They were wonderful friends. Prompto had deeply regretted that they stopped talking the moment he got married to Noctis, but Cindy didn't think it was a problem. She was too focused on her passion to have gotten hurt over things like that. Besides, she had always thought that Prompto was dear to her. That if Prompto needed someone to talk to, he would come back to her.

"And you came back to me," She said softly, taking his hand. "Even if you feel like you ain't a good friend, you came back. You came to see me and I ain't ever been happier to know that you want me in your life."

"You're the only one I have left in my life," Prompto muttered quietly. He hasn't talked to his parents for years. "So thank you, Cinds."

"Don't say that, sweetcakes. Lotsa people care 'bout you, you just refuse to see it." Patting his hand, Cindy stood up from her chair and picked up her empty plate. "How 'bout some fruits for dessert?"

Prompto smiled weakly. "That sounds great."

While Prompto slowly finished his dinner, he listened to Cindy humming. The clanks and the sound of plates clicking and the water running was great comfort to him. It had been too long since he heard and felt the presence of someone else in this "home". If his head hadn't been hurting the moment he thought of Noctis, he would have heard the doorbell ringing. The water stopped running and Cindy called out for the guest to wait a moment, then came dashing into the dining room. Prompto rubbed his temples and looked up to his friend.

"King Regis is here," Cindy said, helping him up. "Said he wanted to talk to you."

"Oh. Well… Good thing I just finished dinner." Prompto got up with a chuckle. "Alright."

Regis patiently waited for Prompto get to the living room but he didn't expect what he saw. Cindy was right behind him, cautious over every step he took. From the distant hallway, Prompto looked extremely tired and weak, but when he looked up towards the past King his smile returned. Regis' eyes widened, speechless even, at how dangerously thin Prompto had become.

"Good evening," Prompto greeted when he reached the couch in front of him, and said, "Dad."

"Prompto…" Regis breathed. "What on Eos happened to you?"

Promptos throat tightened. He had a hard time thinking of what kinds of words he would tell his father-in-law. Regis was aware of it already, their drift, their estranged marriage, the distance. The fact that Noctis never came home anymore had been of great concern to him, as the Citadel was a place for Noctis to return to, and yet he chose to stay in his apartment. Rumors spread wild about his son and Lady Lunafreya. Prompto already knew though. Cindy knew it too. He just chose not to do anything about it.

Cindy put a hand on Prompto's shoulder for support and Prompto looked up with a sad smile as he nodded and turned to the former Lucian King with determination.

"I don't have much time left."

On Monday nights when Prompto's parents left for business trips, Noctis would sneak inside Prompto's house and climb into bed with him. Prompto would stir and his favorite chocobo plushie tightly secured against his chest would drop on the wooden floor. Noctis would slowly wrap his arms around his sleeping beauty, and Prompto would wake up the next morning with breakfast in bed. A plate filled with love and iced coffee, and a young, infatuated prince handing the tray to him wearing fish-patterned pajamas.

Mrs. Argentum's eyes widened at the phone call she'd received. Mr. Argentum looked at her with concern then stood up to pick his wife up when she dropped to the ground, shaking uncontrollably. Their food on the dining table had grown cold, and both had lost the appetite to eat after finding out that the only child they once raised, has his life slipping away not only from his own fingertips, but also theirs.

"There has to be a cure, son." Mrs. Argentum argued with tears streaming down her face. "Please. If you must keep going for treatment, do it and I'll pay for everything. Your dad and I will pay for everything."

But the calm voice in their son's voice was what scared them most. Their son said there was no treatment for it. Just palliative care. And he hoped to reach out to them and close the distance he had given because he had realized that there was no forever for him. In fact, time was running out. The most painful thing for a parent, was to know their child was suffering and there was nothing they could do about it.

"Sometimes, I feel like I want end my life." Prompto had told them over the phone. "The pain just gets to me, and it would hurt so bad. But I have relationships to fix, you know?"

The Argentum's schedule completely changed then. Their weekday trips turned to four-day trips and during their time back in Crown City, they would finish their work quickly to pay their son a visit. The first time they went to Cape Caem, they gave him a new camera; they knew how much their son loved taking pictures. It had always been that way. Even though they were very busy people, they paid attention to their son. His success and his passion. They knew it all. That's why when he got married and left, they didn't stop him from leaving. He was happy. And that's all they ever wanted for their son, as his parents.

It was a LOXTON LX-X1R camera. A camera that Prompto had been saving his money to get.

"Wow! Thanks guys," Prompto beamed, trying to sound strong but the fatigue on his face couldn't hide it. "I'll treasure it always."

"Prompto, won't you come home to us?" Mrs. Argentum tried to urge him. "Cindy stopped her career to take care of you and it's shameful that she's doing what we're supposed to be doing. We want to make it up to you."

"It's alright, Mrs. Argentum." Cindy handed them drinks. "It was my choice."

"Mom, I can take care of myself." Prompto assured her by rubbing her palms soothingly. "Cindy's just here to help me out when I need it. You and dad are free to come over whenever you guys have time. But you don't have to make anything up to me, I love you both. My love for you guys haven't changed."

Mr. Argentum walked back into the house and crossed his arms. As he looked at his tearfully-stricken wife and ill-driven son, he looked around and tried to put everything together. There was only Cindy and Prompto. Nobody else. Someone was missing. He glanced at the framed photo on top of the drawer.

"Where's Noctis?"

It was a question that Prompto knew he couldn't avoid. It hurt to hear the question, it hurt to hear the name, but there was no hiding the truth to them. He opened his mouth and his lips quivered, he felt like he was going to cry again. It seemed like that's all he's been doing. Crying.

"Um, he's gone." Prompto laughed it off weakly, then continued softly. Even if it was meant to be taken lightly, each word caused his parents' heart to crumble. "But that's okay, because I kinda will be gone too."

The Lunar Tear had blossomed.

If Prompto was his old hopeful self, he would have done the most cliché thing and wished to be cured.

But Prompto had accepted the cold, hard truth. And now he's just trying to appreciate the things and people around him.

One night, Prompto tossed and turned on the bed. Sweating profusely and screamed in pain. Mr. and Mrs. Argentum ran up to Prompto's room to check on him and Cindy came running up to him with a tray of medicines and a glass of water before she placed it on top of the counter and helped him up.

"It's okay baby, I got you." She handed him a set of pills then the water. "We got you."

Author's Note: I have no idea why I'm hurting my precious Prompto, but I'm doing it. I'm hurting myself in the process too. Lunar Tear is a reference from a game called NieR. Just as Lunafreya shared a sylleblossom with Noctis, a friend wanted me to add a Lunar Tear. And with that, I bid you readers temporary adieu. I'll update again sometime this week.