A/N: I think Ollivander is a really interesting character. He piqued my interest enormously when I first read the books as a kid, and the subject of wandlore still remains fascinating to me. I'd played with the idea of making an OC pursue a career in wand making, possibly as an apprentice to Garrick Ollivander, but it didn't fit this story. I'm considering it for the next. I guess it depends on if I can develop a relevant plot line for it.

lovirosa: Thank you! Yeah, I don't like crying men either, Remus included. I've had the misfortune of seeing numerous men cry, and it still makes me want to vomit with anxiety. Hopefully no more of that here.

nessafly: Hahaha THANK YOU! Your praise always hits me right in the feels. I wanna see more of Cassandra too, though I haven't decided where her character wants to go yet. It's awesome that you picked up on her character out of that chapter.

misslak: Eheheh future children.

SMGF1: Hahaha I'm glad you approve of the abbreviation. And yeah, he's such a sad character. I still feel bad writing these kinds of scenes for some strange reason... It's not like he's a real person...

DontTellMeImWrongBitch: You changed your pen name! It's so aggressive now haha. I already thanked you the other day, but more thanks are always deserved when kind reviews are written! I hope you enjoy this one as well!

wickedgrl123: Is it wrong to be proud of making my readers cry? Seriously though, thank you so much for the review. I'm thrilled that the last chapter was able to touch you so deeply. I hope the story continues to move you.

WRITE ME A REVIEW PLEEEEASE!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Chapter 52: Of the Wizard Over the Wand

The young members of the Order of the Phoenix spent the days following Remus' return with bated breath. James and Lily had insisted that Remus and Rowan stay with them for a couple nights, as there was safety in numbers; however, although they had expected Fenrir Greyback to follow Remus back to London in pursuit, there had been no sightings of the werewolf anywhere near the city. In fact, Dumbledore's sources told them that he had returned to Gladaman soon after Remus' escape. Remus darkly confided in Rowan that Greyback most likely saw Remus as a messenger of sorts. They only hoped that Greyback's stay up north continued and wasn't a sign of more terrible things to come.

Dumbledore had not been pleased with the outcome of Remus' mission, but it had been expected, sadly. Try as they might, the werewolves lived in a world that was completely unlike their own. Even Remus was lost amongst them. It was a leap to have expected more than a handful to join, and while Remus had been able to convince some from the smaller tribes to go into hiding, there were still many more willing to fight against them.

Rowan was beside herself. Although she finally had Remus safe at home, he was once again in a place that she couldn't seem to reach, somewhere she didn't recognize. She was more than familiar enough with his self-loathing, his mourning, his anger, but this was an entirely new monster: Fear. She had seen his fear before. He had feared for her safety, for his future, for the darkness within himself. But this. It was not of self-preservation, not of defense. An embodied horror, the monster under the bed - it was real, and its name was Fenrir Greyback.

Greyback was more concrete, more terrifying than any Dark Lord or painful lunar ritual. He was isolation, spite, and self-hatred all in one body. He was the source of loneliness and the end of happiness. Rowan couldn't possibly understand what this man represented to Remus and the kind of terror that he had endured in the face of such a man. There were no comforting words or promises to give him. She was lost, groping blindly in the dark for any means of reaching him.

But this was beyond her. She had no place in this nightmare of his. She could fight beside him, but despite not being able to see it, the wall between them was substantial. She couldn't protect Remus from Greyback's hold. All she could do was wait for the cuts to dull and fade. She could only hope that they were allowed the time.

Ollivander's Wand Shop was a strangely dark place. Rowan stood outside of the Diagon Alley location with Remus, her fingers laced with his tightly. The small shop seemed unusually daunting considering its size. She remembered how intimidated and nervous she'd been as a child coming to the shop for her wand, and it seemed just as mysterious now as an adult. Had it really been almost ten years since then? She felt her wand in her pocket. It was such a vital part of her now. It seemed to hum in response. Remus must feel lost without his, like a blind man stumbling along the busy streets. They shared a nervous glance. She felt Remus take a deep breath from beside her, and then they stepped forward.

The door rang almost generically as they opened the door and moved into the dark space. There was hardly any light there. Even the sunlight from outside seemed dimmer as it crept through the tall bay windows. Rowan wondered if there was a reason for the lack of light. Perhaps it affected the wands and their reactions to potential owners adversely.

Remus' fingers slipped from Rowan's as he stepped farther into the shop. He looked almost like he were in a trance, as if being pulled by an invisible force. She watched him walk on vaguely but remained towards the entrance. Procuring a wand was an intimate experience, almost sacred. And his had been particularly special - the fact that he'd even had a wand or been allowed to attend Hogwarts at all had been a nearly impossible blessing. She couldn't imagine how devastated he'd been seeing it snapped in half by the one man who had nearly stolen even the opportunity to use it. Just the very gesture of his asking her to accompany him to Ollivander's had spoken more to his trust and investment in her than any declaration of love or devotion.

She watched him wander slowly, eyes skimming over the high shelves of wood and magic. She could see his gaze searching almost beseechingly for his new partner. Her stomach was a tight bundle of knots. She thrust her hands into her pockets, feeling her own wand for comfort.

"Hello!"

A raspy voice echoed from the back room, followed by a tuft of pale gray hair. It poked out from behind the door. A pair of sharp silver eyes pierced through the darkness at them - Garrick Ollivander.

"Ah, Remus Lupin and Rowan Delacroix!" he exclaimed delightedly. His face lit up at the sight of them. He hopped out of the back room towards them. The entire space seemed much brighter suddenly. "It has been many years since I have had the pleasure of having you two in my shop! Almost ten years, I believe!"

Remus smiled and nodded, the anxiety leaving him a bit. "Yes, it's wonderful to see you again, Mr. Ollivander," he said warmly. Rowan nodded and smiled, stepping forward hesitantly.

Ollivander smiled kindly and looked between them. "I had heard that you two were together. An interesting match! A very interesting match!" He looked at Remus thoughtfully. "Cypress wood, unicorn hair core, 10 3/4 inches, pliable," he recited knowingly. He then turned to Rowan. "Cherry wood, dragon heartstring core, 11 inches, unyielding." He nodded like a bird as if agreeing with himself, his head bobbing up and down almost mechanically. "Yes, yes, I remember. Very interesting indeed," he mumbled. Rowan and Remus glanced each other questioningly but didn't say anything.

"So then, what brings you two to my shop?" Ollivander finally asked, looking between them, once again bright and engaging.

Remus grimaced. "My wand was stolen," he explained simply. He looked almost ashamed to admit it to the older man, and Rowan smiled thinly. It was strange to think about how personal such a simple possession could be, and yet a wand was like a bodily appendage. It was like admitting that he had lost an arm.

Ollivander gazed hard at Remus. It wasn't a harsh stab of judgment or the cloying weight of pity, but neither Rowan nor Remus could gauge what it was exactly. He seemed to be sizing Remus up, almost.

"I see," he finally said quietly. They expected him to ask how, but he remained silent. He scanned his eyes over Remus again. The young man shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny but held his gaze. Rowan watched the silent exchange raptly.

"Let me pull out a few options for you," he mumbled. He turned and walked over to a distant dark wall. The couple watched as Ollivander stepped up onto his ladder, which then slid efficiently to the far corner with a sharp shhhnk. He slid a hand over the wall searchingly before his hand landed on a seemingly unremarkable box and pulled it out from its place with a quiet whisper of wood. Rowan marveled at the man's otherworldly ability. She wondered if it was a skill developed over time or a natural gift.

The ladder then slid again, turning a corner onto the next well. He stepped down a couple of steps and scanned over the shelf carefully. His long fingers slid over the shelf as if speaking to the wands through his hands and then pulled another box out carefully. He then stepped all way down and crouched down low, his pale hair lowering nearly all the way down to the floor. His fingers danced along the ground and flitted to one more space on the very bottom row. He pulled the last box out and then stood, turning back to face Remus.

"Try this one," he said, opening the first box.

Inside sat a light wand that looked very similar to Remus' old wand. He pulled it out delicately, holding it in his hands and feeling its weight and grain. Remus looked at it fondly, as if remembering his prior partner, but Ollivander seemed displeased.

"Hmm... So the cypress is unresponsive now... Interesting... Very interesting," he murmured. He took the wand from Remus' hands delicately and placed it back into the box. The box floated from his hands and gracefully slid back into place in its far corner. Remus gazed after it almost longingly.

"Try this one next," Ollivander said, handing him another.

This wand was a dark, rich brown wood with an ornately carved handle. Rowan disliked the look of it, but Remus handled it just the same way as he had with the first. Nothing happened, once again. Ollivander's eyes widened and then hurriedly took the wand back without a word. He didn't even close the box back up before opening the next with excitement.

"Oh, very interesting. Yes... yes. So that should mean..."

As soon as Remus touched the third, red sparks flew from the tip of the wand. He yelped slightly and jerked his hand upward with surprise as the sparks burst forth. Scarlet light filled the dark, cramped shop, illuminating the high walls of small boxes and old Ollivander's face. His pale silver eyes reflected the light with a sort of strange mania. His face pulled with elation, lips stretching widely into an ecstatic grin.

"Wonderful! Wonderful!" he exclaimed, applauding delightedly. Remus smiled with quiet awe as he looked over this new wand - his new partner. He seemed to be unaware of Rowan or Ollivander. Rowan's chest was tight with wonder as she watched the glow in his eyes.

The sparks eventually died down, and the darkness of the shop returned, but a quiet electricity remained in the air. Remus held the wand gently, looking over it carefully and running his hands up and down its smooth handle. It was of a beautiful, pale wood with fine lines and a simple handle. The wand curved irregularly in two kinks. It looked like it could have been taken from the tree just the day before.

"Pine, phoenix feather, 11 inches, very springy," Ollivander explained quietly. "It will be a great deal pickier than your last wand. It is an intriguing contrast. Cypress and pine... Very intriguing."

Remus frowned and tore his eyes away from the wand to look at Ollivander. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Ollivander met Remus' gaze steadily with a careful expression. "I would think that there's been a change in your destiny, Mr. Lupin - a very vast change," he said cryptically.

Remus' frown deepened. He stared hard at the old wandmaker. "I don't understand."

Ollivander shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't give you any definite answers, young man. Time will be sure to tell," he said.

This was a strangely troubling response. Remus looked back to the wand. The excitement from before was now replaced with heavy apprehension. He turned the wand over delicately in his hands. The wand chooses the wizard - that was what every modern wandmaker said. What did this say one about Remus? Rowan watched him warily. A change in destiny... she could only hope that it was a change for the good. She gripped her own wand in the pocket of her robes. It seemed to vibrate in response. She prayed that she would never have to part with it.

"Pine and cherry - another interesting match," Ollivander murmured. He stared openly between the two of them. There was a sharp quality to his gaze that Rowan found disarming. She shifted nervously.

"Pine over cypress... Phoenix tail over unicorn hair... I expect to hear of interesting things from you, Mr. Lupin," the old wandmaker said.

Remus stared hard at his new wand, this new life partner. Rowan felt him enter another far off place she couldn't reach. She could only hope that this wand might help bring him back to her.