As it turns out, I felt like updating another chapter for this story.

This chapter contains a swear word or two if that matters to you (That rhymed, just wanted to point that out!)

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight

Jasper POV

The second I entered the house, I had been hit with a wave of concern from Edward and then from Carlisle a little later but it soon got covered by the excitement and love that Alice had given off as she stood close to me.

"How was your hunt Jazz?" She asked.

My eyes flicker to Edwards for a quick second before I look back at Alice and smiled at her.

"It was good" I answered plainly.

And worth it, I thought silently.

At that, I felt another wave of concern but this time it was added with frustration. I guess that was all the information Edward needed to know what really went on during my hunting trip. I hated that I couldn't keep any secrets when Edward was around. In fact, that was probably the real reason why Carlisle and Esme brought him and Bella a house of their own; so that we could all think with privacy. I began to focus more on Alice, pulling her closer to me as I put my arm around her waist. The more I think of her and focus on her loving emotions for me, the less I'll think about what I have been hiding from her all this time so that Edward would give me a break and read somebody else's mind.

"Jasper, do you mind if we talk? In private?" Edward asked.

Alice looked up at me curiously, trying to figure out why he wanted to talk to just me but I just smiled at her and let go of her waist before I walk outside; knowing that Edward won't be too far behind.

I ran off far into the woods out of hearing distance. I knew exactly what Edward wanted to speak to me about and it wasn't new either. Every once in a while he tries to talk to me about this...habit and tries to convince me to stop but it hasn't worked yet. In fact, I now spend most of my days avoiding Edward when he visits us and try my hardest to block him from my mind but he always manages to figure it out. He hasn't spoken to me about this in a while though but it still annoys me that he won't just give up and leave me be.

I stopped in a clearing so Edward stopped too and stood in front of me.

"Jasper, this seriously needs to stop" he started.

"No, you need to stop. Quit bothering me about this because it's none of your business" I snapped back at him.

"Yes it Jasper. Do you have any idea how I feel about lying to everybody?" He asked.

"You're not lying Edward, you're just not telling them everything. There's a difference" I corrected him.

He stopped to think for a moment and I could feel his frustration.

"You don't understand, Jasper. They will find out eventually and the longer you keep this going, the more you will hurt Alice when she finds out"

I glared at him as I clench my teeth and ball my fists.

"Do. Not. Bring. Alice into this" I said holding back my anger.

He knew my weak spot.

"It's true Jasper and you know it. Why can't you just admit that you need help?"

I didn't need help. Physical pain just relieved mental pain and I saw no problem with that. What I did see a problem with, on the other hand, was that if everybody else finds out about what I do, they'll realise how weak I really am.

"They need to know Jasper. They won't see it as a weakness; they'll just give you support" Edward assured.

"I don't want support, I want to be left alone" I demanded.

"Left alone? You're kidding right? You are getting worse each day and it's beginning to get out of hand. To be honest with you Jasper, until everybody else knows, I am not letting you be alone" he stated.

He couldn't do that. He couldn't just take away my freedom. I didn't need to be babysitted, especially by somebody 50 years younger than me. That showed weakness.

"Damn it Jasper, you just don't get it do you? I worry about you. All it takes is a single depressing thought for you to feel the need to hurt yourself and it's not right. You thinking that you don't need help just means that you're worse than I thought. If you don't tell them the truth, I will" Edward announced.

Anger boiled up inside of me and within half a second, I pinned Edward onto the ground. He was a threat and the information that he knew about me could affect me deeply if he told anyone.

I wouldn't let him tell anyone

I let out a fierce growl as I showed off my fangs; anything that would make him surrender. He didn't back down though as he tried to push me off him. He failed as I use my hands to pin his arms.

"Get off me, Jasper" he demanded.

I continued to growl at him, pushing him deeper into the ground. I wasn't going to just give up and let him tell Alice everything. She shouldn't know.

"She's your mate. There shouldn't be any secrets between you" he threw back.

"Promise me you won't tell them anything. Ever" I demanded him.

"No" he yelled back, trying to free his arms.

I growled once more as I move one of my hands around his neck. I was willing to kill as long as it meant keeping my habit as a secret. I would not let Edward destroy my life; especially after finding the one person who made it all better.

"Go on, do it Jasper; kill me. I'm sure Alice would be fine with it" he challenged sarcastically.

Her name made me snap out of it in an instant. If I killed Edward, Alice would hate me. If Alice found out about my self inflicted wounds, she would be disgusted with me. Either way, I was at loss. My life was just about to go downhill again. I knew she was too good to be true. I wasn't good enough for an angel like her.

Maybe life with Maria was the way I should have lived in the first place and the things that she did to me was just how it should have been. Peter shouldn't have come back for me that day. He should have just let me die.

"Don't you dare, Jasper" I hear Edward say but I was already rolling up my sleeve.

I felt a sudden force hit me as this time it was Edward that pinned me.

"Stop it! Just stop it! You really are getting worse Jasper and I can't take it. And before you even think it, do not even consider the idea of leaving Alice to go back to your old life because I will not let that happen" Edward promised.

I used my legs to kick Edward off me and then I got up and ran as fast as I could further into the woods. Unfortunately, Edward is a lot faster than me and managed to catch up and grabbed my arms to pin them behind my back. I started to snap at him, my fangs yet again beginning to show but Edward was out of reach so I couldn't even bite him. I began to snarl at him and kick my legs, hoping that he would just let me go but he held on tight.

"What the hell is going on here?"

I turn my head to the direction of the voice to view my eldest brother, Emmett who looked between us. Edward still held a firm grip on me as he began to speak to him.

"We're just having a disagreement" he answered.

"Well that's one hell of a disagreement. It takes a lot to piss Jasper off. Man what the hell did you do to him?" He questioned.

"Emmett, just walk away" I told him.

I didn't want to risk Edward telling him anything. I would lose too much.

"Chill man; Alice just panicked earlier because she had a vision of you two fighting so I came here to sort it out" Emmett explained.

Fear ran through my body. Alice had a vision of us fighting? What else did she see? Did she know what it was about?

"She just saw us fighting?" I asked uncertainly.

"Yeah man, she said she saw you kicking Eddie's ass. Well she didn't actually say that but she had no idea why but she was worried that one of you were going to get hurt. Wanna tell me what this is all about?" Emmett questioned.

Edward unpinned my arms but stayed close so that I couldn't run.

"I told you; it was just a disagreement" Edward assured him before he pulled my arm as he headed back home.

Please Review! I only had two for my previous chapter