Disclaimer: I do not own twilight
Carlisle POV
The second Alice rung me, turning into a nervous wreck while explaining her vision, I panicked. I had no idea what was going through Jasper's mind and why he was so depressed that he was willing to burn himself alive just so that he could end his vampire life but it worried me. I knew he was the troubled one out of my family but I never did manage to find out what this was all about. Jasper wasn't the kind of person that would talk about emotion despite the fact that he was an empath but I really wanted him to talk to me about it. He was suffering in silence and was too stubborn to let it all out. He viewed talking about things would express weakness so he refuses to do it. I wanted to help him so bad and now after what Jasper had just attempted, I will not give up until I got to the bottom of this. I was just thankful that Edward got there in time.
Alice had told me that in her first vision, she saw Emmett go up in flames as well as Jasper when he tried to stop him but thankfully, Emmett had changed his decision and chose to message Edward who happened to get there at the right moment.
I told two of my sons that I wanted a private word with Jasper so that I could hopefully get some answers out of him. I needed to understand what was hurting him so bad so that I could help him. Jasper has hidden from us for too long and it was about time that I found out exactly what it was that has been troubling him for so long.
It was a little annoying to know that Edward already knew what it was but when he told me that he couldn't tell me about it because it could have a bad affect on Jasper, I respected that because I knew how difficult it was to gain his trust but because of what has happened today, I was not letting him leave this place until I found out what was going on.
Jasper had backed out into the sea but I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he was focusing on my emotions. He should find concern, love, care and calmness; concern being the strongest as always. I walk forward, stepping onto the wet sand whereas Jasper walked further back, the water reaching his shoulders.
"Jasper, come out the water" I said gently.
As always, he did exactly what he was told after looking a little hesitant. His obedient behaviour definitely linked into his mysterious past along with his fear. I used to think that it was just southern manners but Jasper is generally afraid of the negative emotions that he would feel if he didn't obey an order from ,as he quotes, 'the leader of the coven'. It was one thing that Edward found from his mind.
Jasper stopped walking forward once the water was just at his ankles, refusing to come closer. Another thing about Jasper was that he always made note about the distance between himself and other people; being only comfortable at the close distance of Alice or maybe Esme and Rosalie on occasion.
I, who am viewed to him of the leader of the coven, am the one to be aware of as well as my mind reading son Edward. Jasper has always been wary around the both of us but lately it has mostly been Edward as I noticed how Jasper had been avoiding him by going on 'hunting trips'. I knew Jasper was very nervous about his lack of control but not even Jasper would go hunting that often, unless of course he was trying to escape from somebody who knew everything about him since he coincidentally timed his hunting trips the same time Edward was visiting.
When Edward hadn't visited in a while, Jasper had needed to hunt anyway but when he got back, Edward had visited and I didn't miss the look in Jasper's face when he was around him. He just seemed so wary.
"You have no idea how worried I was Jasper" I announced.
Okay, perhaps he did, being an empath but it was an expression. He needed to know how much damage he could have done if Edward hadn't made it in time. The whole family would have been destroyed with grief, especially Alice. We have only just managed to complete our family but the slightest thought of losing one of them, hurt. All this time it took to gain Jasper's trust, to make him feel comfortable in a house of many other vampires could have all gone to waste. We would have not only lost Jasper, but Alice too; the couple that played a very important part in our family.
Jasper's eyes looked down at the sand, taking in the emotions I felt for him and how much his attempt had effected me. He was my son and I truly loved him like one after being around for about 60 years but I was still unsure about how Jasper viewed me. Was I really just his leader?
"Jasper, please; I need you to talk to me. You have to tell me what's going on" I begged.
He raised his eyes off the sand and back onto my own golden eyes.
"Nothing's going on" he answered plainly.
He wasn't serious was he? He had almost killed himself but there was 'nothing going on'? Just how long exactly had Jasper been lying to me the times I had asked him if he was okay? Did he ever answer truthfully?
"I know what you had almost done, Jasper and it was a good job that Edward showed up in time because if he didn't, you wouldn't be the only one in ashes" I revealed.
I instantly regretted what I said, knowing Jasper's sensitive reaction to other people's words.
"Emmett" he whispered so quietly, a human wouldn't have heard him.
I was suddenly hit with disgust, shame, pain, guilt and worthlessness as Jasper puts both of his hands in his hair as he sinks to the ground, sitting into shallow water. His emotions were so strong that he was radiating them without even realising it and right now I don't think he cared. I doubt he even remembers that I am in front of him as his emotions get the better of him, making him forget the world.
I rushed to his side and put my hands on both of his shoulders so that I could get him to look directly in front of me.
"Jasper, listen to me. I need to know what's going on. If a son of mine is in a suicidal mood, I have to know why. How else am I supposed to make it better?" I explained to him.
He regained control of his emotions, returning back to his usual self of keeping in all of his pain. He closed his eyes and took in a deep and unneeded breath in an attempt to relax himself.
"You won't make it better, Carlisle. I can't be fixed and you knew that the moment you laid eyes on me" he whispered.
He spoke about himself like he was a broken object. Jasper may be a little broken but definitely not unfixable although if he keeps keeping secrets from us, there is nothing I, or anybody for that matter, could do to help. Jasper stood again and walked past me.
"Where are you going?" I asked curiously.
He shrugged in return of my question but carried on walking. I was not going to let him get away for a second time. I would find out what was bothering my son today whether he liked it or not.
"Jasper, come back here" I instructed.
He didn't stop. He just pretended that I hadn't said anything to him.
"Jasper" I warned sternly.
I hated using such a tone, especially with Jasper. He had always seemed to flinch at any sort of negative tone in a voice even if it wasn't aimed at him. It made me wonder why he was so afraid of the slightest hint of anger. He stopped this time and turned around to look at me; his body tense.
"Carlisle, I appreciate your concern; I really do but I'm serious about this. There is nothing you can do to help" he quietly spoke.
I walked closer to him again, both of us now standing on the dry sand. Jasper always gave up on himself so easily. In fact, he never even gave himself a chance at healing whatever it was that is damaging him.
"Tell me" I gently instructed."I'll find a way".
He shook his head at me, strangely with a chuckle.
"You don't get it do you? Maybe I don't want your help. I don't want anybody's. It doesn't matter if I am okay or not, I am able to look after myself" he said.
"You're wrong, Jasper. After the events of today, I don't think you really can cope on your own" I stated the facts.
"Please Carlisle, just leave it" Jasper begged.
"Leave it? How can I just leave it Jasper? My son just tried to kill himself and yet he is too damn stubborn to tell anybody what is wrong" I said, losing my patience a little.
I just didn't understand why he had to be like this. Why couldn't he just admit to me what was wrong? He was worrying me and the rest of the family and he should be able to sense that but it still wasn't enough to tell me the truth.
"Would you leave me alone if I promised I wouldn't attempt that again?" He asked in frustration.
Of course that would have worried me less but he couldn't promise that. All it takes is another suicidal mood to break that and I really couldn't risk it again. He needed to be helped and fast.
"Jasper, you do realise that after today's events, you are not leaving my line of sight; I'll make sure of that" I replied.
The real answer to his question though was 'no'. I was most definitely not going to leave him alone; especially while he is in his dark moods. I would never forget what Jasper had almost done today and although I just let Jasper walk ahead of me, it didn't mean that I was giving up on him.
As promised to myself, my run back was close behind Jasper just in case he attempted to run away again.
Ok guys, so I want to satisfy your reading by asking giving you a choice and that with the most votes will be the one I choose. Anyway... We all know that soon enough, somebody will find out Jaspers secret but there are two different choices that I want to give you.
Firstly, how does that person find out?
Jasper tells that person
Somebody caught him biting himself
They saw his fresh scars
And secondly, who do you want that person to be?
Alice
Emmett
Bella
Rosalie
Carlisle
Esme
Please review and vote up as well as giving me your reason why! It's gonna be boring if there is only one or two votes!