A/N: Where did my reviewers go...?

One last rated M chapter for you guys. I hadn't been planning on it, but it seems to fit somehow. It's not very sexy though, in my opinion. There's a huge buzzkill right after it, too. That might be the greatest understatement I've made in a while.

missalex3030: Thank you! Yeah, the Fidelius Charm is one of those seemingly important story elements that J.K. never elaborated upon as much as I would've liked, and of course, my take is particularly dark. It seems like a spell that would require a price, right? Thanks for the review, as always!

SMGF1: Hi, hello! More Rowan and Remus!

lovirosa: Hello! Yes, I've been really pushing through the updates haha. I'm just too excited to finish up this story and move on to the next! And no, unfortunately for Rowan and Remus, they've been left in the dark.

Congrats on the new place! Hope it hasn't been too stressful. Thanks for reviewing!

REVIEW MEEEEE!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Chapter 63: Of All Hallows' Eve

"Happy Halloween, girl!"

Rowan looked up from her workbench and shrieked as a pile of orange fell upon her. She sputtered and flailed, slapping away a sea of pumpkin-shaped confetti. The paper jack-o-lantern faces cackled around her, poofing into smoke as they hit the ground. She looked up bewildered to see Lescos grinning down at her broadly.

"You don't look very festive. Don't you know it's Halloween?" he bellowed. Rowan smiled sheepishly.

"I completely forgot, to be honest. I guess I just didn't put the date and the holiday together," she admitted. She knew logically that it was October 31st, but for some reason, it didn't click until now that October 31st was more significant than just a full moon. She supposed that showed where her mind was. She tried to bite back a yawn, but it escaped anyway. Lescos shook his head disbelievingly.

"Honestly, you need to get some sleep. We all know the potion is a success. You don't need to keep pushing yourself so hard," he scolded. He looked her over in an avuncular way. "When was the last time you even shagged that bloke of yours?"

Rowan was sure her face was bright red. "W-What?" she sputtered. "What do you-? I mean-" She couldn't even get the words out.

Lescos just laughed. "Calm down, girl. I'm just messin' with ya," he teased. "But really, isn't Remus leaving for his transformation? Shouldn't you go home and see him before he goes?"

Rowan winced. He was right. She hadn't seen much of him over the past couple of weeks. After James and Lily had disappeared, she'd hoped that their group of friends would rally together to support each other, but it seemed that the rift was only growing. Though she and Mina still kept up with each other each week, Sirius still looked shifty in her and Remus' presence, and she hadn't even seen Peter at all beyond their Order meetings. She suddenly missed all of them terribly.

And Remus - she nearly sighed at the very thought of him. They saw each other nearly everyday still, but the weight of the air between them still felt heavy. He was in higher spirits than before, but there was something there, something she couldn't identify. She reasoned that she'd have done something about it by now if she even knew what it was, but she didn't. She wasn't sure if he did either.

"Go home. See him off and then come back. You don't need to rush. We'll be here to look after Isaac," Lescos commanded. Rowan looked up at him. His long face smiled gently at her, and she felt that familiar warmth that Fabian used to leave with his avuncular advice and support. Rowan nodded and stood from her stool.

"Yeah," she said, smiling, "I think I will."

Remus' shocked expression at finding her at his door was endearing, to say the least. She was reminded of that terrible night two years ago when she'd showed up on his doorstep in tears after discovering Isaiah Jones' treachery. She nearly frowned - had it really been that long? So much had seemingly changed since then. But really - had anything between them changed?

"Winnie," he said as he answered the door, surprised. His eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "I thought you were at the lab. Don't you have-"

Rowan was overcome suddenly with a strange tightness in her chest. Had it really been so long since the last time she'd seen him off for his transformation? She'd been working all this time for him, and yet she'd completely forgotten about him in the midst of her mania. Guilt trickled down her throat. She pushed a smile to her face - he looked even more confused - and then pushed him into his flat.

He grunted as her lips connected with his. She wasn't sure where all of this was coming from, but she suddenly needed to feel him against her, to know that he still knew she was his. She kicked the door closed behind her as they stumbled back into his flat and then pushed him to his bed quickly, hands clinging to his shirt with desperate fingers.

"Rowan," Remus gasped as her lips trailed up his jaw. Despite his confusion, his hands gripped her thighs tightly as she climbed into his lap. He choked slightly as she ground her pelvis against his. Pupils dilating, he reached up quickly and tangled a hand in her hair, bringing her mouth back up to his. She groaned into the kiss.

Their clothes came off clumsily, hurriedly. Her fingers fumbled with the belt on his trousers as his yanked at her jumper. As she pulled it over her head, he threw his own to the side, and then they were falling back onto the mattress, legs tangled in each other's pant legs.

Finally, they freed their appendages from their respective clothing, and she scrambled back into his lap. He sat up again, pulling her face to his. His tongue pushed into her mouth hotly as his fingers scored down her side, scalding over her hips until they reached their goal. She gasped against his mouth - he grinned.

His fingers pushed her panties to the side, dipping into the wetness that had already accumulated. She whimpered and pushed against him. He pressed his palm against her clitoris hard.

"Remus," she gasped, grabbing him through his briefs. He groaned into her mouth. She quickly freed him from his underwear and positioned herself over him. "Please, just-"

Her words drowned into a soft, muffled shriek as he pulled her down over him, burying himself inside of her. She throbbed and clenched at the sudden stretch - it really had been a long time. Remus gasped and held her against him tightly, still. His breath came panting, and she trembled, clutching to his shoulders desperately.

Finally, one hand fell to her hip, and he thrust up into her, pulling another moan from her lips. He pulled away slightly, pressing his forehead against hers as he moved against her. As they rocked together, she held his gaze and felt an almost-ache in her stomach, a bittersweet loneliness and completion all at once.

"Remus," she whispered. His eyes burned into her. It was overwhelming. She couldn't stand to see him looking at her that way. It hurt, and yet, she was afraid that if she looked away, he would disappear as well.

"Winnie," he bit out. "Come on, darling." She could see the muscles in his shoulders straining for control.

She shook her head dumbly. Her head was so heavy, a cloudy haze. "I can't," she whimpered. "Please, come with me. I don't want to - alone... I can't-" She cried out as he thrust hard into her.

"Yes," he gasped. "I'm going to come too. Come on. Come with me, Rowan." He thrust once, twice more, and she was gasping and clawing and clenching down on him, clutching to his shoulders desperately. She vaguely heard him choking out a broken version of her name before spilling himself into her. Her entire body burned.

They fell back into the bed, but she didn't roll off of him. She continued to hold onto him tightly, fingers digging into his skin almost painfully. Their skin stuck together with their sweat and exertion, but she couldn't bear the thought of being even an inch away from him somehow. It had been so long since he'd really looked at her, and yet now that he had, she was terrified to let him go. When would he look at her that way again?

"Rowan," he whispered imploringly. His hands ran up her back gently, fingers running through her hair. He pulled her face back gently. The green of his eyes filled her vision, searching hers desperately. "Winnie, what's wrong?"

Rowan realized dumbly that he was wiping something away from her face. She was crying. Her lips trembled at the realization.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, pulling away, suddenly ashamed. "I don't know why- I mean, I-" She scrambled for the words, for the reason, but she couldn't find any. Her face burned with embarrassment. She frantically pushed away from him while trying to wipe her tears away.

But then his hands secured around her waist, and he pulled her tightly against him. She yelped slightly as she slid quickly across the sheets until she hit his chest. His skin seared against hers.

"Winnie," he whispered. Her face was buried in his neck. She inhaled deeply, taking in his familiar scent. Her stomach clenched. How could she have gone so long without touching him like this? "Tell me what's wrong," he said quietly.

The tears burned at her eyes again. Her hands lifted carefully, sliding up his back. Her palms laid flat against the hard planes of muscle and skin. She trembled slightly.

"I don't know," she admitted. Her fingers gripped him a little tighter. "I just... I don't know." She paused for a moment, allowing his heat to soak into her bones. It made her feel a bit braver, a bit more at home in her own skin. "I was just so scared for a moment. I don't know why. I just..." Her voice trembled. "I don't want you to go away. I don't want to be alone." Shame hit her. "I'm sorry. It's like I left you alone all this time and now I'm afraid you'll do the same. Pretty hypocritical of me, isn't it?"

Remus' arms tightened around her. Every inch of her body seemed to be pressed against him.

"No," he whispered. "It's okay. You don't ever have to apologize to me for that. I..." He swallowed hard. "I left you alone too." She felt him bury his nose in her hair. "But you know that no matter what happens, I'm... I'm always going to come back to you. You know that, right?"

Rowan's entire body trembled. She nodded jerkily against his chest as more tears finally leaked. She could feel rather than see the sun lowering down towards the horizon - a cruel reminder of their curfew. She could feel the night approaching and, with it, the full moon. She pressed herself even closer.

Rowan gazed around at Remus' flat as he stood to dress, holding his sheets to her still-bare form. Yellow and orange light spilled into the dark room. Every line of muscle and bone seemed highlighted and contrasted in the harsh light. She wanted to trail her fingers along each peak and crest. His hair seemed to glow like a bright fire. She held one of his pillows against her chest tightly, inhaling the remnants of his scent there.

Finally, after he'd pulled his trousers back into place, he turned towards her and smiled gently. Padding back to her quietly, he lowered himself to the bed next to her, eyes shining in the evening light. His face was so close, hair grazing against her forehead. She sighed and leaned into him, pressing her head against his. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, as if relishing the moment.

When she opened her eyes again, he was gazing at her intently.

"I love you," he whispered.

Her mouth twitched upward quietly. "I love you, too." She thought for a moment. "Please be safe," she added.

He smiled gently. They both knew those were useless words in a way. "You, too," he whispered. He lifted a hand and tucked an unruly strand of hair behind her ear. "Come back here in the morning?"

Rowan smiled and nodded. "I'll be here," she promised.

He smiled and leaned in. His lips pressed softly against hers, and she sighed longingly. They slid against each other for the briefest of moments before he pulled away.

"Time to go," he said sadly. She nodded and closed her eyes as he pressed one last kiss against her temple, then he stood quietly and made his way for the door.

As she watched him softly close the door behind him, the deepest ache filled her stomach, a great sense of despair. The heat in her throat finally spilled over and she choked - heaved - for one brief moment before swallowing it back down. Her lungs trembled as she willed the painful sensation of emptiness to the back of her mind. With one last deep, jerky breath, she opened her eyes and looked back around at her own scattered clothing. She willed herself forward, steeled against the blood red sky. She needed to get back to the lab.

"Lil, do you remember that animation charm that Remus did on the Weasleys' pumpkins last year? Aniluminate?"

Lily sighed as she heard her husband call from the kitchen. She could only imagine the disastrous mess he and Harry had created while carving pumpkins together.

"It's Aniluminus," she responded patiently.

"Oh, right. Thanks!"

She smiled amusedly as she heard James' voice mutter the incantation, followed by a dramatic lion's roar. A delighted baby's squeal harmonized with it. She grinned to herself as she turned back to the parchment and quill in her lap. She nibbled at the end of the long golden plume thoughtfully as she read over what she'd already written. Laid to the side with an envelope was a moving photo of James pouting and trying to gently pry a blue and gold stuffed ball from Harry's hands.

Dear Rowan,

I hope you're well. How's work going? How's Mina? It's been quite lonely here without anyone to talk to besides James, but we're holding up okay. Harry is really in love with the Puddlemere United stuffed quaffle you got him. James is livid that he's taking a liking to your team's gear more than his, but it's been quite amusing seeing the two wrestle over it. I think it's just a matter of time before he's riding around on that toy broomstick Sirius got him and breaking everything in sight...

She smiled over the words as she thought of Rowan's cheeky grin. She missed the black-haired girl terribly. She would give a great deal of gold to be able to just enjoy a cup of tea with her.

She frowned. She couldn't help but wonder how her friends were doing. Rowan and Remus had seemed to be getting on better when they'd left, but she couldn't be sure how things were going now. She wanted to believe that they were okay - she couldn't imagine a world with them not together - but who could say at this point? Remus had lost his job after all. She couldn't even begin to empathize with how ashamed he must feel, how emasculated. She mused that if anyone was capable of making their men feel insecure, it was Rowan and Mina. She smiled strangely at the thought. She was very fortunate to have such strong friends.

She stood from the couch and stretched her arms overhead languorously with a slight groan. Things had gone quiet suddenly. She frowned slightly and headed to the kitchen.

"James?" she called - no answer. Her frown deepened. She pushed the door open into the kitchen. "Everything oka-"

She gasped as she was pulled into the large kitchen pantry by strong hands. Pressed up against the wall with one hand covering her mouth, her scream was silenced at the sight of her husband's face looming in her vision. Harry was strapped to his back.

"Quiet," he hissed. His face was hard as he listened carefully. Lily strained her ears to hear for whatever he was listening for, but her heart was pounding so hard that she could barely hear her own thoughts. Heat surged under her skin with panic.

But then she heard it - the sound of footsteps. Every muscle in her body clenched - how? James turned back to her quickly.

"Take Harry upstairs and lock the door behind you. Send word to Dumbledore as fast as you can, and no matter what happens, do not open the door. Do you understand?" he whispered hurriedly, untying Harry from his back. The infant didn't make a sound - had James put a calming charm on him?

"James, you can't-" she started, but the hard look in his eyes quickly silenced her.

"Lily, don't fight me," he hissed. Lily recoiled at his tone. He had never spoken so harshly to her. Her entire body trembled as she took Harry into her arms. James' eyes softened slightly at the fear on her face, but he didn't apologize. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers softly. She felt her stomach lurch painfully - he was trembling.

Finally, he pulled away and steeled his gaze once more. "I love you," he said fiercely. She searched his face with panic, but before she could say the words back, he began again: "When I count to three, you're going to run up the stairs and not look back. Do you understand?" he whispered fiercely.

Lily couldn't find her voice. Her throat was tight, as if swollen shut. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted him to know. Heat burned at the backs of her eyes. She swallowed them down and nodded. James nodded back, gaze scoring into her. But as he opened his mouth to begin, there was a deafening crack of wood. Glass shattered. Lily felt herself flying forward and out of the kitchen forcefully. She clung to Harry tightly and cried out with fear.

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off-"

Everything in her screamed to stay, but at the sight of James' eyes burning with anger, she turned and ran.

Feet pounding down the winding halls, she ran half-blindly. Shouts echoed behind her, but she continued to run, sprint. Her lungs burned as Harry began to cry. Her own tears mixed with his.

The halls seemed never-ending. Harry's wailing cries echoed and bounced deafeningly around them. They seemed to take on a tunneling form. Her legs were numb, clumsy, as she sprinted down the halls and to Harry's room where they had set up the most intense protective spells. She slammed the door behind them and spun wildly. She pointed her wand at the door with shaking hands, sputtering out every spell she could think of, but even her thoughts seemed to trip over themselves. She stumbled backwards, nearly falling over Harry's toys. Her back hit the distant wall, and she slid down it, knees giving out. She held Harry to her chest in a vice-grip. She clutched her wand frantically.

Happy memories, she thought desperately. Think of something happy!

"Expecto patronum," she gasped. A doe burst from her wand and ran off into the distance. Hurry! she screamed mentally.

She cried out as she heard another crash of glass and wood from below. There was a grunt, an incoherent shout, and she knew it was James. Her breath was ragged, threatening to choke out altogether.

And then it went silent. Her tears fell freely. She could barely even see her son's tiny face. Her mind thrashed wildly, avoiding any thought of her husband. She wouldn't think of him, wouldn't think of him, wouldn't think of him. Don't think. Don't think.

"Harry," she whispered. His cries softened slightly as she rocked them both. "Harry, my darling, my baby. Harry." She wasn't sure if she was comforting him or herself. "Mummy loves you. Mummy and Daddy love you, Harry." She was sobbing now. Her tears dripped over them both hotly. She could feel her son's cheek wet against her own. She turned her face towards his, pressing their foreheads together. Her red hair fell around them both.

The door began to crack.

"Mummy loves you," she gasped breathlessly. Her breaths were coming in shallow, drowning gulps. "Mummy loves you. Mummy will always love you."

The door fell open. She turned her face upward, her son tight in her arms.

Sirius Black couldn't sit still. He and his girlfriend were listening to the radio in their flat - one of their usual programs - but he just couldn't shake this terrible feeling. It crept up his spine and broke across his forehead in a cold sweat. He reached up quickly to wipe some of it from his face. His fingers tapped against his knee rapidly.

"What's wrong?"

Sirius jolted slightly with surprise and looked down to see Mina peering up at him from, eyes creased with concern. Her head laid in his lap, body stretched out across the couch. In her hands was a book, which had been put to the side momentarily.

It was all so normal. He looked down to see his hand tangled lightly with a few strands of her wavy hair. Her warmth was familiar. This position was familiar. This was normal. This was what they always did on this day of the week.

So why did he feel so sick with anxiety?

He felt like he'd suddenly realized he was asleep and within a dream. But this was no dream. No, it was much too warm and yet too cold. There was an ache in his stomach, a distant soreness in his joints and hands. Why couldn't he shake this?

"I need to take a walk," he said suddenly. Mina's frown deepened as she sat up to let him stand. He practically sprang to his feet. She stood to follow him.

"Sirius, what's wrong? What's happened?" she asked worriedly, following him to the door. He was nearly jogging now, hands scrambling for his jacket, which hung beside the door. His arms jerked clumsily into the sticky black leather before groping for the door. But then a slender hand covered his own.

He looked down to see Mina staring widely up at him, her eyes large with fear. He was suddenly jolted from his strange mania for a moment at the sight of her, her eyes so blue and large. They scoured his face beseechingly, silently, and his stomach churned with guilt. He took his hands off of the doorknob and raised them to her face, cupping her cheeks gently. He pressed his lips to hers softly.

"I'll be right back," he whispered against them. He pulled away slightly. Her eyes were still wide with anxiety. "Wait for me here," he said. She nodded slowly, and he smiled gently before kissing her once more. Then after releasing her face, she held his gaze for a moment longer before stepping back slightly. He squeezed her hand reassuringly before stepping out. He closed the door behind him with a quiet click.

As he hit the pavement outside, he heard the distant echoing of a bell tower from a nearby church. It was midnight - November 1st. Each gong seemed to deepen that gnawing fear within him. A cold breeze blew down the street, pulling a current of brown and red leaves with it. He thought of James and Lily.

It was useless, wasn't it? His chest was tight at the thought of how far away they were from him. He couldn't see them no matter how hard he tried - their Secret wasn't his anymore - but he knew he had to check anyway. He had to make sure they were okay.

Peter - he needed to see Peter.

He grabbed the handles of his flying motorbike on the curb, and it kicked into life, roaring loudly between the buildings. Swinging his leg over the back, the leather creaked against his trousers. As he rode down the empty streets, he hit a switch. The motorbike roared again and then pushed up from the ground like a rearing lion. The night sky overtook him, large and looming overhead. The air was very cold.