DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Hunger Games. The characters belong to Suzanne Collins.

When I get home, the house is silent. I consider finding Prim and telling her what happened, but she would probably be furious with me. I take a seat in the living room and stare out the front window. How could I have let that happen? I replay the moment over and over in my mind. The pumpkin bread, his fingers on my lips, and then his lips on mine. I felt like a different person. I felt like I was in another world, and then I was hit with reality.

Being with him can't always feel good. I know from experience that people leave. My father left. My mom (basically) left. Why open yourself up to people if they are going to leave you? It's great when they are around, but the closer you are to them, the harder it is when they leave. I'm not doing that again. Everything is temporary. People are going to hurt you.

What if you lose them? My mom lost my dad and she nearly lost her mind. I don't want to be so attached, so dependent on someone, that I can't survive without them.

I don't even know how Peeta and I got to this point. I've never been in an intimate relationship with someone before. I've never been kissed before. We were technically on a date, but I didn't think he would kiss me. Not only did he kiss me, but I kissed him back! I. Kissed. Him. Back. I enjoyed it. I would do it again in a heartbeat, too.

I…wanted it.

I feel bile rising in my throat. I have to see him again. I have to see his face every day for the next month. I'm doing a project with him, so I will have to see him even more. Does he hate me now? I deserve it. If someone had done to me what I had done to him, my self-esteem would be destroyed.

Damn it, Katniss, what have you done?

The next week of school was tense, to say the least. I intended to talk with him about what happened, but every time I tried I couldn't find the words. He continued to sit next to me, but he never spoke.

On Thursday, which would be our normal meeting day, he asked if I had finished the report. I nodded in response. He said he had finished his, too. I hoped that meant that we were talking again and that he decided to forget about it, but that was all he said to me. I almost wish that he would be angry with me, that he would yell and tell me that I am a terrible person, but he doesn't. He never would, and that bothers me even more. I deserve it.

I knew that I needed to say something before it was too late. The more time I let slip by, the farther he would drift from me. Even with this knowledge, I never got the courage to do it.

I miss him terribly. I miss his smile, his warmth, and the way he comforts me just by being around. I miss the way he looked at me.

Prim won't leave me alone about him, of course. I haven't really talked to her about our date because I know what she will say. She would be so angry with me, and I don't need that. I'm more angry with myself than she could possibly be. She asks about him daily, so I try my best to shut her out and focus on other things. I know she doesn't appreciate this because by the end of the week, she starts passive aggressively torturing me. I wish I could tell her how sorry I was, but she wouldn't understand.

Even though the weather is "freeze your ass off" status, I decide to go out hunting on Friday after school. I go to my place with my bow and arrow and just sit for a while. While deep in thought about my situation, I hear the sound of footsteps behind me. I start to panic and think that it might be Peeta, but I turn and meet Gale's eyes.

"Hey, Catnip." I breathe a sigh of relief. "I brought some hot chocolate."

He sits down on the ground next to me and begins pouring hot chocolate out of a thermos. I look off into the distance and stay silent as he works. I take the cup from him with a nod.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"With what?"

"Oh, please. You've been moping around all week. You didn't tell me a single thing about your date with Mellark. When I try and talk to you about anything, I can tell you aren't paying attention."

"I don't know what to tell you, Gale."

"Well, I guess you don't have to. Peeta told me the whole story."

I choke on my hot chocolate and start coughing. I manage to control my cough enough to speak. "He what?"

"That's right. I nearly beat the shit out of him, actually. I could tell you were upset, and I thought it was his fault. I confronted him, and he spilled."

It's getting hard for me to breathe. "What…what did he say?"

"He told me that you guys went out to Sae's, you baked stuff, and that you were having a great time. Then he decided to kiss you, and you flipped out on him."

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding in. "That pretty much sums it up."

"Did you want him to kiss you?" I nod. "And you kissed him back?" I nod again. He looks at me confused, "Then what exactly is the problem?" I shrug.

"Nope," he says, "We aren't playing this game. I want to be on your side; I really do. It's hard when you give me nothing. He's not my favorite person in the world, but I feel bad for him right now. I could tell he was hurt. I would be too, say, if Madge did that to me. Katniss, that's kind of screwed up."

"I know, Gale," I snap. "I know that I fucked up! I know that I hurt him."

"Then why haven't you apologized?!" he asks, his voice rising.

I turn on him, "BECAUSE HE MAKES ME FEEL WEAK!" I'm surprised by the volume of my voice. I put my hand to my mouth and turn away from him. My words are also a surprise to me. I had no idea this was how I felt until this moment.

Gale's voice is calm when he finally speaks. "You're afraid aren't you? You're afraid that you might actually have feelings for him, and you don't know how to handle it." I feel a tear falling down my cheek, and I shudder. "Katniss, I get it, okay? Your goal has been keeping it all together for Prim and your mother, and I respect the hell out of that. But, do you really think that having feelings makes you weak?"

When I don't look at him or respond, he continues, "I think they do the exact opposite. Emotions are powerful, Katniss. They motivate people to create art, to care for one another, to start revolutions, to do great things. It's something that we all have in common with one another. They can be scary. I get that. Just know that I believe you have an opportunity here. You just have to be brave enough to take it. He obviously cares about you, maybe even more than you do about him, but who's to say something great won't come of your feelings for him?"

I sniff and choke back a sob. "And what happens when it's over?"

"I can't tell you what's going to happen between you two, if you ever manage to get out of the hole you dug yourself. I don't know. You don't know. So, what we do know is that you can't control the outcome. While this is also terrifying, it's something that we just have to accept. That sounds like a really bad answer, but let me ask you this. Would you really go your whole life not feeling anything, not caring for another person, because you can't control what will happen down the road? That's stupid. That's really stupid. If you do that, you will be just as miserable as you would be if you had cared for another person and lost them. It's just a fact of life. Things end and you move on. At least you learned. At least you felt something, something powerful, something real."

I had no idea Gale thought this way. I've never heard him say anything so seriously. He starts rubbing my back. "I'm not trying to tell you what you should do, but I think that you should at least apologize to him. If you don't want to be in a relationship with him, then respect him enough to let him know."

His hand falls from my back, and he begins to stand. "Do you want me to walk you home?" he asks. I shake my head. "Okay. Just make sure to give me back my thermos. And don't stay out here too long. We don't want you getting sick again," he says with a chuckle. He starts back to his house, crunching through the leaves.

"Gale," he turns back to me, "Thank you."

"Anytime, Catnip."

Part of me wants to retaliate, to scream at Gale and tell him he's stupid. I don't know if I can do what he asks. I don't know if I can ever think the way he does, but he has given me the courage to apologize. I have to make a plan and stick to it. If I don't I will continue to fuck up. If I'm going to turn this around, I have to admit something.

Step 1: Admit it. You have feelings for him. Say it out loud.

I look around to see if anyone has snuck up on me and find no one.

"I…" I take a breath, "I like…I really like…Peeta Mellark."

Step one, check.

A/N: Oooooh, boy. What are you guys thinking? It got a little serious up in here. Gale wasn't being a dork for once. I considered making Katniss have a similar conversation with Prim instead of Gale, but I think it's harder to talk to your family about this type of stuff. Good decision? Bad decision? Do you like seeing a more serious side of Gale?

I'm sorry I left you guys hanging on that last chapter. It was cruel, I know. I would hate me too. I hope you all are still with me!

Thank you so much for reading! You guys are fantastic. Thank you for favoriting/following, and as always, keep the reviews coming!