I'm back after two weeks of writer's block! I think I have it figured out now but if I take a while to upload again then that would probably mean I am out of ideas once again but I am all ears if you have any ideas. (That rhymes...awesome)

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

Carlisle's POV

I had decided to go hunting with two of my sons; both with reason. I had taken Jasper because I needed to find out more about his past in order to help him and Edward so that he could warn me if he started hearing Jasper's thought if he were planning to make a run for it. It was also a good idea to bring him because he already knows about Jasper so I won't need to worry about anybody over hearing.

All in all, I guess I was just using the term 'hunting' with the rest of my family. Both Edward and Jasper knew the real reason behind it which explained why at the moment, Jasper was keeping his distance from me. I couldn't let him go too far though; just in case something goes wrong again.

Edward had already drunk from a deer but my plan was to drink when Jasper had killed too but right now he seems so disinterested in the animals. He spotted them but looked away soon after as if he was trying to look for something else. He also kept looking back at me which was rather strange. He usually does it to make sure we are all keeping our distance from him but this time the look seemed different. It was more like he wanted to ask something but was too afraid too. He was still debating it by the way he was repetitively looking back.

"Jasper, why haven't you drunk yet?" I asked him, concerned.

He looked at me curiously before sighing.

"Because we weren't here for a hunt" he stated.

Edward walked over to us, causing Jasper to move his gaze onto his brother. I was surprised when I notice Jasper raise his upper lip to show his teeth as if he were silently growling but once he realised I was watching he just licked his lips and looked away.

"Jasper's right. Maybe we should just get to the point" Edward spoke.

I sighed and nodded in agreement before returning my gaze to Jasper. He lowered his head like a boy in trouble, avoiding all eye contact.

"Jasper, since Edward already knows everything, I think it would be easier for you if I brought him along. I need to know as much as possible if I am going to help you so if you don't have the courage to speak of something, perhaps Edward can" I explained.

"No. You brought him along so that he could tell you whether I was lying or not" he accused.

Edward just rolled his eyes at his statement although I couldn't help but frown. He always thought that I was doing the worst for him. I was doing this for Jasper, not myself. Why couldn't he see that?

"For crying out loud, Jasper! Carlisle is doing this for your own benefit. Stop making it sound like he wants to make things difficult for you because it's not, it makes it easier. You'll thank him later" Edward interrupted, frustrated.

Edward's tone caused Jasper to move closer to me. He only did that when he felt the need to be protected so I guess right now, the emotions he was catching from Edward were scaring him back a little. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Edward was frustrated. He is a rather patient person but everyone has their limits and in this case it was keeping a self-harming secret for over 60 years.

'Edward, be gentle with him. You know how sensitive he is' I thought.

I didn't want him to start sounding harsh to Jasper; especially because it is so difficult not to scare him away. Anger, frustration, annoyed even lust makes him extremely nervous and I wanted him to avoid them. The first three aren't a regular emotion but sharing a house with Emmett and Rosalie means that lust is brought to the max. It really does make me curious as to why that emotion also scares him. Like I said earlier on; I have had my suspicions about it but nothing else.

"I'm sorry" Jasper whispered.

I put my hand on his shoulder in order to comfort him. He used to flinch whenever I did this but he seems okay with it now. He isn't as skittish as he used to be when he first joined our family but he still has his nervous moments.

"What Edward means to say is opening up to me might be easier with Edward here if you can't find the strength to use your own voice. I know that it's already very difficult for you" I spoke softly.

Jasper glanced at Edward before looking down at the damp grass. Jasper never was much of a talker which also related to his nerves. Whatever had happened to him in the past had ruined him. His natural personality will never return because of it and we would never heal the shy and anxious part of him but we are all trying our best to at least improve it.

"I don't know what there is to tell you" he mumbled.

There was so much that he could tell me. Why was he afraid of me most when we first joined? I knew that it was because he viewed me as a coven leader but why did that scare him back? Why did he seem so overly cautious when we crossed paths with nomads? Why did he seem to stick so close to me when we visited the Denali's? Why had it taken him so long to relax in sexual contact with Alice? There were too many questions I wanted answered but it will soon open up to even more questions than there have been answered.

"What damaged you so badly?" I whispered to him.

I knew that he wasn't going to answer the question straight out but he needed to know that I noticed this. He had to know that I knew this wasn't what he used to be. He had joined the confederate army and became a Major so I would imagine that he was a very confident person. Of course I couldn't actually imagine that being possible because he has always been a nervous wreck for as long as I have known him.

"It's not what, it's who damaged him?" Edward corrected.

I'm no mind reader but I already knew that Maria had played a part of it; when Jasper had told us about being a part of the southern wars, it helped explain his calculating and cautious behaviour but nothing much else. Part of me believed that there was something more to it that involved her but I never had thought much into it although now I highly regret it.

Jasper's head whipped round to glare at him and no doubt screaming threatening thoughts at him. He then began to growl darkly while holding the evil eyes. I noticed that Edward was fighting back a growl in return but this wasn't his usual way in dealing with Jasper. He usually just ignored it unless…. he couldn't control it. Even I began to feel the need to growl but I was strong enough to hold it back.

"Jasper, control it" I hissed him.

It wasn't supposed to come out in such a way but the emotions he was projecting caused me to speak to him like that. His growling came halt, looking back at the grass ashamed. My accidental tone of voice had scared him back. Like I said; sensitive. This is exactly why my voice is always its most gentle around Jasper.

I'm serious about this, Edward. If we're going to make any progress, you need to go about this carefully.

"How about this, I ask you a few questions and you try to answer them as honest as you can. If you don't feel ready to discuss something with me yet then you don't have to but it's advisable" I suggested to Jasper.

With an unnecessary deep breath, he nodded at me before giving his brother another warning glance. I thought through a bunch of things that had previously run through my mind but since it was the first question, it's best if we start off easy; but not too easy.

"The damage that has been done, what percentage of it was her?" I asked.

I was assuming that he knew who I was talking about. Of course he tensed by even the mention of the word 'her' therefore I was already expecting the answer to be high; that is if he does answer.

"0%" he mumbled.

"You liar" Edward interrupted.

"No I'm not. None of it was her" Jasper spat.

"Everything was her and you know it. I can't believe after everything, you are still trying to protect her. You're in denial" Edward stated.

Jasper fell silent and the emotion spread on his face went from anger to hurt. He took a step away from both Edward and I, avoiding eye contact again. I put a hand through my hair; doing my best to hide the frustration I was feeling right now. It wasn't Jasper that was making me feel this way, it was Edward.

I'm serious, Edward. Stop now or I'll deal with this on my own I warned silently.

Edward just rolled his eyes, annoyed. I turned back to Jasper who pretended not to notice that my attention was on him. That was another thing that he did a lot. He wasn't a fan of attention so if he ever got it, he would hide that he noticed hoping that they would focus on somebody else.

"Why would you say 0%? Surely she did something?" I questioned.

"She did nothing" he suddenly snapped.

I noticed him turning on his animal instincts again as he backed further away while baring his teeth at the both of us. I have tried to get him out of that habit. How would I ever explain that sort of behaviour if it happened while he was at school?

I have already informed every different school that he has attended about having a 'troubled' past. Since he is known to be 'adopted', we have settled with Jasper previously having extremely abusive biological parents. Even the school teachers believe that there is something more to it. But then again, whenever the smell of human blood overwhelms him, he always has a free ticket out of there after I had told them about his 'anxious behaviour around other people'. This also explains why every single one of his classes has Alice or Rosalie in them as they realise how dependent he is on the both of them.

"It wasn't her fault. None of it was her fault" he tried to convince me.

I had a bad feeling that what he meant by this was that it was actually his fault. He tends to blame himself a little too much; especially in a case like this. Edward informed me that Maria was abusive towards him so if that is true, then she had managed to manipulate him into thinking that this was all of his fault as well as making him think that she loved him.

"It's okay. I'll rephrase it. Whether or not it was her fault, how much damage in a percentage, had she done to you?" I asked.

Edward rolled his eyes at the mention of it possibly not being her fault but I knew the truth. Jasper remained silent, rethinking things over. He already knew the answer but he was just finding the courage to say it.

"About 93%. The other 7% was the newborns" he mumbled.

I was sure that he felt a strong wave of pity from me at that moment. It was no surprise really. The newborns were what caused him to feel the need to know the way out and to never let his guard down. The rest of what was wrong with Jasper was caused by her.

"What about the damage to your body? How much of that was her?" I questioned lightly.

"Most of it" he whispered so quietly this time.

Even Edward gave him a sympathetic look this time. I knew that Jasper hated anyone feeling sorry for him but after everything he has been through, it was just impossible not to feel that way when you see the damaged and pained expression on his face that he always wears. I nodded at him.

"Was she the reason why you also seemed wary about Alice as a mate?" I asked.

He raised his head at me. "Was I that obvious?" He questioned.

Of course Alice had told me about the way Jasper held back on everything sexual but even without the conversation she had with me when they first joined, I still noticed the delicate way Alice treated him. The way we all saw Emmett and Rosalie with their tongues down each other's throat was all too familiar but it was very rare to even spot a peck on the lips between Jasper and Alice. They are very private about their relationship but this was very different.

Emmett had once teased Jasper about appearing to be 'frigid' but he had just tensed and looked away as if Emmett knew everything; like what he had said was in no doubt the truth, even if he had meant it to be a joke. He was soon reassured by Alice just by intertwining her fingers into his while giving Emmett 'the look'; a look that told Emmet that this was Jasper, the one that takes things seriously.

"I'm an observant person" I stated.

He just shrugged and looked away once again.

"I did my best to give her what she wanted. She wanted to wait for me to be ready but…..I won't ever be. I just wanted to make her happy" Jasper whispered.

In other words, the first time Alice and Jasper had finally made love was just Jasper forcing himself to do something that he wasn't ready to do. He had convinced Alice that he was in fact ready but had lied to her….just to make her happy. And she hadn't even realised it.

"Why was it difficult for you to start a sexual relationship with Alice?" I gently asked him.

Edward's eyes focused on Jasper like he was silently begging him to just tell me the truth but unfortunately, Edward's mind reading gift only worked on one side. Jasper shifted from his original position; clearly uncomfortable about the question.

"I'm not going to answer that" he darkly whispered as his eyes watched mine.

I had expected him to say that he just wanted to take things slow but his comment had made it clear that Maria was indeed the person who had damaged the beginning of Jasper and Alice's relationship and made things harder for them.

Now my suspicions were coming back to me. The suspicion about what Maria really had done to my son which explained why exactly, he had acted so afraid in his first few years with Alice.

I am so glad that I have finally put up another chapter. Happy valentine's day guys.

I am hoping to update 'silent boy' next but I am stuck for ideas for the next chapter so please help with that.

Also, Reviews will be great.