Thank you for the reviews for the previous chapter. I have decided to continue through the past but it does go back to the present later on in this chapter.
Also, I would like to thank a guest reviewer 'Brazos' for pointing out to me about the time frame and I believe that you are right. I have changed the time frame a little in my one shot for this story so it will make a little more sense. Get back to me if you think it's better or not.
By the way, if you haven't guessed it yet, I suck at sexual scenes.
Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.
Alice's POV
We had been living with the Cullen's for three years now, meaning that Jazz and I have been together for five. Although Jasper found it a struggle to fit in, he was doing rather well. He was very skittish when I first met him and had calmed down after a while but his nervous behaviour had returned when I had brought him along to join the Cullen family. He found it difficult to leave my side; afraid that the family were a threat but during the time we have been here, they have proved to be nothing but harmless 'people' who avoid killing humans and are extremely welcoming. Although he doesn't spend as much time guarding me from the others like he used to, he still acts much calmer when I am by his side.
It was just Jasper and I in the house today; the rest had gone hunting. It was Carlisle's idea but I knew that he was still trying to help me after the day I had questioned him about my relationship with Jasper. I was just so unaware why Jasper was so nervous to the touch. I knew that he panicked whenever I was above him but I was sure that it had something to do with his past but he also hated being above me because he said it made him feel like a dominator and despite being a male, he didn't want to appear that way.
I knew that he was hiding something from me but he was still trying so hard to make me happy; so hard that he even tried to force himself into uncomfortable situations which I ended up always pulling him out of. How was I supposed to help him become more comfortable if he was always pushing himself too far?
"Alice?"
Jasper tilted his head, watching me, a little worried. One thing I wasn't keen about with Jasper constantly keeping close was that he was more sensitive to my emotions than he was to anybody else's. It was difficult to think to myself without Jasper sensing my emotions along with it.
"Jazz, I'm alright" I assured him.
I wrap my arms around his neck to pull his face closer to mine. He had learned to trust me to touch his neck which used to freak him out which is completely understandable after a life with dangerous armies. I kissed him gently to at least take his focus off my emotions.
"What's on your mind?" He asked me.
"You" I replied with a smile.
He was always on my mind whether if it was through lust or worry; mostly worry. He kissed me again but deepened it this time; almost immediately.
"I love you, Alice" he whispered as soon as he pulled away.
His forehead was leaning against mine as our eyes look deep into each other's.
"I love you, too, baby" I whispered back.
We were in our room, sitting on our bed like we always do when we have alone time together. I started to kiss him again but he pulled away with hesitation.
"Alice, I want to tell you something" Jasper suddenly informed. I looked at him curiously before nodding at him to go on.
"I know that you're being so patient with me but I also know that I'm making you unhappy" I opened my mouth to protest but he lifted a finger to tell me to stop and let him go on. "Even if you if you don't realise it, I can feel it and it's only a matter of time before…..before you lose your patience with me"
I knew where this was heading. No matter how many times I tell him this, he still believes that I would eventually leave him if he hadn't had sex with me. Our sexual relationship was somewhat complicated but I wanted to go very slow because I knew that Jasper struggled to cope with it.
"Jazz, don't. Stop talking. I told you that I want you to be ready for this" I interrupted.
"But I am" he replied desperately.
I went quiet as I thought about this. The first time we tried, it didn't go too well and we tried a few times after that too which were also unsuccessful. The only difference now was that he has told me that he is ready. The question was does he mean it or was he just trying to force himself into this again?
"Stop worrying about me. Please, I'm okay. I trust you" Jasper tried as he kissed my neck.
"I don't like making you feel nervous, Jazz" I told him, quietly.
Jasper didn't reply verbally but he sent me a wave of confidence to convince me that's how he felt. He may feel like that now but once the sexual interaction starts, the anxiety will begin. Jasper nuzzled his nose into my neck and began to purr softly; another sign that he was calm and happy. He was doing his best to tell me that he wanted this.
I purred back at him and kept him close to me. He slowly kissed my neck as he began to unbutton my shirt from top to bottom. Finally giving in; I allowed him to carry on undressing me as I watched his eyes admire my body. I then decide to return the favour but just as I was about to take off his shirt, he stopped me.
"I er…I want to keep it on" he nervously requested.
Well, I knew that he hated his scars and how he wasn't keen on me seeing them so I just nodded. At least it would help him feel more comfortable. Instead; I unbuckled his belt to remove his jeans. I paid attention to his reaction since this was one of the gestures that made him anxious. Jasper just concentrated on kissing areas between my neck and breasts. When his belt was off, I unbuttoned his jeans as he helped me slide them off. I then took off his boxers which revealed to me that Jasper was already semi erect. Jasper pulled me closer to him as he started to pull me on top of him as he lay on his back.
"Jazz, it would be a lot easier if you were above me" I advised.
All the other attempts had been done Jasper's way because he wanted me to feel more comfortable but this wasn't about me, it was about him.
"Umm, are you sure?" He stuttered.
Despite the fact that we were vampires, Jasper worried that he could hurt me.
"Yes, Jasper. It'll be okay" I told him as I pulled him on top of me.
He started to kiss me on the lips again. The closeness of our body made me feel the hardness of his length; telling me that he was ready for this. As long as I remain patient with him and let him stay in control, this might actually work. I just needed to keep assuring him that being in charge was okay.
He always relied on my guidance which makes me wonder if he really has had any experience with this before. I had previously assumed that he had because he had told me about his past and Maria had sounded like she had some sort of sexual relationship with him. I mean, he didn't actually state it but they sounded close in a strange way. Perhaps it was just because she was his creator. But although he was skittish 24/7, he was at his worse with sexual contact which means one of two things; he's inexperienced with sex or something had happened to him during it. I'm not sure though. Jasper never really spoke about it but now I need to think about the present rather than the past. Jasper's lips parted with mine as he nervously looked down at his size
"If you're ready, you can" I whispered to him.
He took a deep and unneeded breath before he forcefully nodded his head. He hesitantly took his length into his hands and slowly guided it into me. Despite his nerves and hesitation, it felt so good. Once he was finally inside, his lips returned to mine; taking his mind off what was making him panic. He was doing well, much better than any of our previous attempts and I truly believe that this could be it. This time, it might be successful. I couldn't see it in the future because Jasper's decisions were so jumbled up right now. One minute, he tells himself that he can do it and the next, he thinks he can't take it anymore but he hasn't acted out on his thoughts yet.
He slowly moved out of me before moving back in again. He starts to repeat the action faster and faster as he becomes more confident about what he was doing. His tongue battled with mine as we moaned into each other's mouths occasionally. I even felt his mouth shaping into a smile. He was happy; happy that he finally won the battles of anxiety. The moment that we were having was so fun and special that we hadn't even noticed the time that had gone by. He moaned in my mouth again, a little harder this time and then I felt him come inside of me and not long after, I did, too.
"You did it, Jazz" I whispered to him.
He grinned at me and placed a single but gentle kiss on my lips.
"I hadn't expected it to feel so good" he replied as he slowly pulled out of me.
We may have finished but the Cullen's weren't coming back until tomorrow morning so thanks to plenty of time, we spent the rest of it lying in bed together, gazing into each other's eyes until we felt the need to put our clothes back on.
Carlisle's POV
"Carlisle, everybody will be out of the house today other than you, me and Jasper" Rosalie suddenly stated as I walked through the door after finishing my shift at work.
Another words, Rosalie had just told everybody to get out of the house and as per usual, they listened to her but hearing that Jasper's name had been mentioned, I knew what she was hinting and I was thankful for that. This meant that now Rosalie knew, too, and I'm not surprised either. If Rosalie wanted to know something about Jasper, she would find a way to get it out of him.
"Where is Jasper now?" I asked her.
"In his room reassuring himself that he's going to be okay. He wants to talk to you; to open up but he wants me there with him" she announced.
I was relieved that he really wanted to do this. There was something about Rosalie that seemed to help Jasper. It was a unique bond that they shared yet nobody seems to understand it but then again, Jasper's bond with Alice is also rather unexplainable compared to everybody else's.
"Thank you, Rosalie"
Both, she and I, knew that she was the reason that this talk was about to happen.
"He's a brother to me. Why wouldn't I help him?" Rosalie replied before turning around to leave the room; going to check on Jasper with no doubt.
I wasn't sure what to expect from Jasper. He has always been quiet and kept to himself a little too much so it's very rare to hear 'Jasper' and the words 'open up' in the same sentence. I head to my study knowing that it was the best place to talk. I had considered that it would make Jasper feel more comfortable if we used his and Alice's room but thought against it since it would make Jasper feel like we were invading his privacy even more.
Two sets of footsteps were heard coming from the staircase and headed outside my study when I suddenly heard a knock. I could tell that it was Rosalie since Jasper's knocks were more hesitant.
"Come in, Rose" I called.
She walked straight in confidently which was completely the opposite of Jasper who shyly appeared and stood in the door way. I nodded at him supportively which encouraged him to walk further into the room and carefully shut the door behind him. I knew that Jasper wasn't going to say the first words but I also knew that Rosalie would (as always). As soon as she speaks, it gives Jasper enough confidence to speak, too.
"Jasper and I have been talking and we have agreed that it would be more effective if you knew the whole truth" Rosalie started.
Jasper's eyes were on the carpet; trying to keep calm while finding the courage to speak. Rosalie's eyes focused on Jasper as well as mine.
"It would help, Jasper" I agreed.
"I know" he mumbled.
His eyes looked up to Rosalie's in a way to support himself. She smiled at him which Jasper returned before looking at me.
"Where do I start?" Jasper asked quietly.
"Start with when you first received intentional pain from or ordered by Maria" I told him.
I hope you liked it.
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