"Mia! Get up already!"

I groaned into my pillow then slowly got up and dragged myself out of my room.

"Aren't you dressed yet?"

"Morning Mia!" Aria said excitedly. "Can you braid my hair?"

"Mom. Stop being so hysterical. I have plenty of time." I said while braiding Aria's brown hair. I finished quickly, since her hair wasn't very long.

"School starts in like, half an hour. And I need to take Aria too."

"Dad will drive me." I shrugged my shoulders as I poured cereal and milk (yes, simultaneously) into my - okay, Oli's - Nemo bowl.

"Dad's been at work for a couple of hours now. If you don't get ready in 2 minutes you're gonna have to take the train or ask Oli to take you."

"Fine." I really wasn't in the mood.

"You better not be late on the first day of school." mom said with a warning look.

"Mm-hmm." I mumbled while staring through the window, chewing my cereal.

She took her phone and car keys, took Aria's hand and with that they were out the door.

I went to the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were still forest green, just like mom's. My cheeks were still lightly freckled - not as much as Oli's, though. My hair - ugh, I hated my hair. It was something between red and light brown, like Uncle Will's (well truth to be told I had dark red hair but wouldn't admit it to myself). Why couldn't my hair be like Oli's, Aria's, mom's or dad's? Damn these Halstead genes. It was quite straight, maybe wavy at moments, kinda like mom's.

I guess my dimples were still there, but I didn't bother to smile and make sure.

I pulled on some black ripped jeans and a hoodie with a band logo on it. I tied my hair in a messy bun (or was it a ponytail? I don't know, they were quite short so you couldn't tell) and put on some mascara and drew black eyeliner under my eyes. I usually didn't use much makeup because I was kinda okay with my face. I pulled on two different socks and put on my old Vans. I took my backpack and went into Oli's room.

"Oli," I shook his shoulder, trying to wake him up.

"What?" he asked with an annoyed, sleepy voice.

"Could you drive me to school, please?" I asked with my arms crossed.

"I could." he said and burried his face in his pillow again.

"So?"

"But that doesn't mean I will."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "And you were supposed to be the nice kid in our family. Nice my ass." I punched his shoulder and headed towards the door. "Fine, I'll take the train. I bet mom and dad are gonna be thrilled when I tell them how nice you were."

Just as I was about to walk out, I heard him groan "Fine. But just today."

As we were driving, I pulled one of my favorite cds out of my backpack and put it in the cd player.

"What album is this?

"Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge."

"Aaand... who's that?"

"My Chemical Romance, you uneducated cave man!" I punched his shoulder (again). "How do you not know that?"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," he chuckled "This was probably my favorite album when I was your age."

"So, " I started "When does college start?" I asked. Me and Oli, well, we were close, we got along great, but we didn't have much topics to talk about. so I usually asked the casual stuff, to make some small talk.

"In two weeks," he said, keeping his eyes on the road.

Oli goes to some college here, in Chicago. I don't really know where is it, but he says it's pretty close so he doesn't stay there. He said he liked it better to drive there everyday. As long as he's happy.

When we stopped to get some gas, I convinced him to buy me coffee and a pack of gums. What can I say, he adored me.

"Turn right here."

"I went to this school too, you know. I think I know the way." he grinned to me and I rolled my eyes dramatically.

"Run. You're late." he said to me as he pulled over.

I only shrugged my shoulders "I'll say I'm late because you didn't want to drive me."

The school was weirdly empty when I entered. I assumed the first period had already started so I decided to wait by the lockers; if I showed up in the middle of the period it would drag more attention. Maybe no one will even notice that I wasn't there from the beggining. Well, maybe Polly would, but I bet she's not here yet either.

I sat down on the floor and pulled my phone out of my pocket. It said:

3 new messages from bring-me-the-lemonade(2) and sand-witch(1).

I opened the text from sand-witch. She was my online friend that I met in some random groupchat I joined a year and a half ago, and we talked a lot since then. She told me to call her Sandy, even tho only a few people call her that. She said she's not okay with sharing real names online, and that it's more fun to make up a new one, so she told me to do the same. So I said my name was Carolyn. Well, I kinda cheated, because that was my middle name. But almost no one knew it, let alone called me that so I guess it was alright.

sand-witch: "Hey! I hope your first school day goes well. I'm nervous af (new school).-."

Aw, I thought. I quickly typed my reply.

ginger-disaster: "You'll do great, I know it-"

Soon the bell rang and I got up on my feet. The hall was flooded by unhappy kids, sad because the summer was over. I headed towards the classroom where our next period was supposed to be. I noticed some of my classmates and my eyes scanned the crowd, wanting to spot Polly.

Tom, a nice boy who I was partnered in chemistry class with, passed me and I smiled to him. "Hey." I waved a hand at him but he only offered me a sad, apologetic smile.

Okay, I thought, someone's having a bad day. I wanted to ask him if he maybe saw Polly but he was already gone.

Someone lightly tapped my shoulder and I turned around to see who it was. It was Troye. A boy who always wore some old vans, an oversized t-shirt and 7/8 jeans, so his colorful socks were always on display. We... we had history. Like friends, nothing more, but still. We used to hang out a lot, since our parents knew eachother, but eventually we grew apart.

"Hey." he said softly.

"Hey...?" I replied with a questionable tone.

"I texted you this morning."

"You did?" I pulled my phone out and checked it again.

2 new messages from bring-me-the-lemonade

"Oh." I totally forgot to answer him earlier. "I'm sorry. What's up?"

"Um. Can we go somewhere private?" He didn't wait for me to answer, but grabbed my arm and pulled me through the closest door.

"The girls' bathroom? Seriously?"

"Does it matter?" he rolled his eyes. "It's private, isn't it?"

"So, what's going on? We're already late."

"I think we should sit down for this one." He sounded worried, maybe even afraid.

We sat down at the wall next to the sinks.

"So, um, I don't know if your parents said anything, to you, but-" he stopped in the mid-sentence, well, actually I interrupted him.

"No, uh, my mom went to work later and dad was called in really early."

"So I'm assuming you don't know what your dad was called in for?" he asked carefully.

Yep. Our parents worked together since... pretty much since I can remember. That's how we knew eachother. They come over for diner sometimes. I really like them, but me and Troye aren't as close as for example, Alice and Oli were. Are. Whatever.

"Um. This is hard. But know, that the only reason I'm telling you this is because I don't want you to hear it from a teacher or from some random kids' whispering in the hallway."

"Dude, just say it." What was wrong? Did something happen to someone in his family?

He took a breath and looked me in the eyes "My mom just called me. They found Polly's body."

My brain processed the information quickly, because I knew he wouldn't be lying to me. The world got blurry, I don't know if it was from the tears that pooled in my eyes or if it was just the shock itself.I think Troye was calling out my name and asking me... something. I didn't register what. I felt him put hands on my shoulders and I saw his brown eyes way closer than they should be. My vision got a little clearer as I let thw tears fall.

"Mia? Want me to take you home?"

I just shook my head and left him sitting all alone on the pastel pink tiles of the girls bathroom.

"Mia!" I heard him call after me, but I pretended not to hear him and disappeared into the geography classroom.

The teacher was just checking who's absent. I muttered an unheard "Sorry I'm late" and plopped down on my seat. I wiped the tears mixed with make up off my cheeks with a sleeve of my hoodie.

"Tom Becker?"

"Here."

"Alexandra Cote?"

"Here." An unkown voice near me answered. I turned my head to see a blond-haired girl with curls, in a Red Hot Chilli Peppers t shirt and a leather jacket over it. She had dark blue, but kind eyes. Maybe she failed last year, and now she's stuck with us, former-freshmans-now-sophmores.

"Is Mia Halstead here? I won't ask again!"

I snapped out of my daydreaming. Happens to me all the time. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm here."

"So, why don't we start?" The teacher said after he checked his list of students.

A girl in the first row raised her arm "Sir, do you know anything about the rumors? Are they true?"

She didn't even say it yet but I knew what she was talking about. My eyes would dig holes in the back of her head if they could. How could she? She didn't even know her. I did. And that's why this is my fault, my business. She has no goddamn right to ask about it.

I gathered my stuff in a hurry and walked out furiously. I didn't care where, I just had to get out.

I didn't know if I could go home already, I didn't know if my parents would understand. I mean, it was the first day of school.

I locked myself in a bathroom stall and slid down the closed door. I leaned my head against the hard door and a few tears escaped my eyes. How did this happen so fast? I still wouldn't accept the fact that Polly is gone. No, not gone. Dead. I'd be happy if she was just gone. That would mean she was still somewhere out there, alive. Although, maybe it would be better to think of it that way. But no, that's not true. It's disrespectful to Polly.

Did she do this to herself or did someone else hurt her? But who would do that?

I searched for my phone with trembling hands and called mom. I didn't even know what I wanted. Was I going to ask if I can go home? Was I going to ask what exactly happened?

Because of Troye knew, then mom definetely knew. It was actually weird she hasn't called me by then. Minutes went by but she didn't answer.

Then the school bell went off and the noise of these loud kids was echoing in my ears again. In five minutes, it rang again and the school became quiet again.

Someone gently knocked on my door, and I heard a familiar voice call for me "Mia? Are you in there?"

"Troye, I'm fine." I tried to brush him off.

"Hey. Don't lie to me. Also you'd kinda betray her if you say you don't care."

"What do you want?" I didn't want to talk about her. Not now, not with him.

"Want to go for a lemonade..."

"...and why not?" I whispered the end of the sentence and a new tear wave came over me.

That was kinda our phrase when... when we were little. When we were friends.

I unlocked the door and picked up my backpack "Sure." I shrugged my shoulders, without looking him in the eyes.

a/n

hey so this is the first chapter i hope you like it. i saw that there was some confuison with Erin's name in the intro. By saying "Erin-used-to-be-Lindsay Halstead" i was trying to say that she used to be Lindsay, now she's Halstead (they got married) xD. just to make it clear.

also, yes, with describing Alexandra I wanted to create a little Peyton Sawyer vibe lolol. Like don't imagine her face to be like Peyton's, just her style and hair. Aaand yes my friend said I should kinda include Troye Sivan in here so yes here he is, but PLEASE DO NOT imagine his personality to be like the real Troye's (cos I dont even know what he's like lol). They just share the looks and the first name. NOT the last name, you'll find out about that soon;)

also, thank you for all the sweet comments i appreaciate it lots.

luv u all, nina xoxo