A/N: Here's another update. I was supposed to do this yesterday, but I ended up doing the Read Between the Lines parody of that scene.
Again, the reason why I'm trying to build Anna's relationship with Liv so much is because like I said it plays a huge part in this story of how Olivia evolved to be the person she is and also, I don't want to make Jake Olivia's night in shiny armor, because we all know like him or not Jake really was never meant to be the hero. And also, every woman needs relationship with another woman that has a rock solid core. I thought Liv and Abby would have that relationship in the show and even though they are starting to inch towards that area in the last few episodes its not as strong of a relationship as the one I'm trying to build here. And I also don't want Jake to be her only option for peace, security, and solace. I'm not down with that, and sometimes you just need your girl because men are stupid lol. Anyways, hope you enjoy.
She struggled trying to get the keys in the door. Her vision was blurry, and she could feel the tears falling from her eyes down onto her hand. Maybe this hadn't been a good idea after all, not with everything else going on. But she had to see him, she had to make sure that he was alive and relatively well, which he seemed to be for the most part. But his face was bruised and his left eye was almost swollen shut.
She somehow managed to unlock the door to her apartment and she hurried inside, slamming the door shut and locking it before leaning her back against it. She let out a shaky breath and now allowed the tears to flow freely and silently down her face. She slid her back down the door until she was sitting on the floor.
They had come back to her place after picking Anna up at the airport, allowing her to drop off her luggage. Abby had suggested that they all go out for dinner later to which Anna had declined stating she had some business to tend to. Olivia had pointed out that the woman did not live in D.C and inquired what business she could possibly have in the city after just getting off of the plane a couple hours ago. She replied back simply, "Like I said Liv, I have a job."
After much prodding, Olivia had been able to get more information out of Anna and found out that she was meeting one of her friends to see about performing at various venues around the city. This caused her to relax a little. She hadn't meant to pry, but she knew that the younger woman was new to the city and much like the people not intimately involved in the politics that went on there, she was oblivious to how many evil people that were running around. Not to mention Anna had a knack for getting herself in some questionable situations.
Anna was a dancer, singer, songwriter as she would describe it, and no one could deny that she was talented. Olivia loved to hear her sing, and she would always write these cute little songs for Olivia when they were little girls. She continued to makes songs for her as they got older but they seemed to be more spontaneous and not so cute. It went from themes like 'I love my Livvie because she takes care of me and I want to be like her so much so I'm just going to follow her around everywhere' to 'Olivia annoys me so much and I have to annoy her back, so let me make up a song on the spot about something that has just happened that I know will piss her off.' And even though Olivia thought Anna was very talented at music, she believed her greatest talent was always dancing, something she was still secretly proud of introducing her to. Olivia herself, used to dance when she was a little girl, and had been the reason Anna had ultimately wanted to attend classes. Anna had even had the option of going to Juilliard at one point, she had even flown out every weekend her last year of high school to take part in a pre-college program they had had there, but due to some life events she wasn't able to take advantage of the opportunity. That was the way Olivia always phrased it to herself, it just sounded better.
After grabbing a quick bite to eat with Abby, she had gone out to handle some business. Then suddenly she found herself surrounded by secret service agents. She rolled her eyes and went along with them, because honestly, she was currently being shut out from white house business that she wanted to be involved in and opting not to take part in other parts of it and she was starting to feel like she was losing even more control over her life because of it. She needed to know something and this was her opportunity.
To her surprise she had actually been taken to the pentagon where she had been led to Fitz, which was not so surprising. He had informed her that he was allowing her to see Jake and basically that he was going to take him down if he saw something he did not like. She had simply nodded before the door was opened and she was allowed to enter.
She had managed to build up a good front upon entering the room, ready to get the full story from him and not show how vulnerable she had been feeling with everything going on currently in her life. She expected him to be sitting, serious but still having something endearing to say to put a smile on her face, and possibly some lighthearted banter by the end of it because it was what he did, it was what they did. Her face had fallen when she had actually caught a good glimpse of him and she had stopped in her tracks. This was not what she had expected. All the memories of him showing up at her door emaciated and covered in dirt, blood and dirt matted in his hair with various cuts and bruises about his face and body. She tried to push those thoughts to the back of her mind and she could feel herself starting to hyperventilate a little, trying to get more oxygen to her brain and trying to stay upright.
He had noticed also, and refusing to let her retreat too far into her own head, he had started talking. He didn't need the emotionally in touch Olivia that was going to go all I'm going to get you out of here on him, he needed the fixer, the woman who handled things that people required her to handle. He was going to die and he needed to tie up some loose ends with the only family that he had left, and she was the only he could trust to do that, because he was going to die. It's not that he doubted her ability to get him out of it, though it was a tall task even for her. It just that he knew she had a lot going on and he doubted his value to her to be able to stay focused on him long enough to get him out of there.
She took a step towards him, wanting to initiate some type of contact with him. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and cry like she had done so many times before and she wanted to yell at him because he had clearly done something she was unaware of to make her father suddenly turn against him again and have him thrown into an isolated cell in the dungeons of the pentagon. Something had to have happened between the time of her father allowing her to go to an isolated island with this man, inviting him over for dinner, and then having him thrown into prison. If her father made up his mind to fake like someone, he would continue to fake like them until they gave him a reason to turn against him. Yes, she allowed her father to believe that she was unaware of the fact that he was actually aware of the fact that Jake was on that plane with her when she went to that island. The man who had tried to control everything in her life and would often times boast about how he did was unaware of the passengers that were on a plane that he had sent to go to a remote place that only he and the pilot knew of. Yeah sure, she believed that.
She couldn't, however, throw herself into Jakes arms because; there were people outside waiting to take him down as it was phrased to her. She looked at the window, and was about to wrap her hands around her midsection suddenly feeling protective in the cold, isolated environment. She opted for folding her arms in front of her in a defensive stance, not wanting to draw attention to her midsection that was apparently larger than it had been in the past. He followed her gaze knowing exactly what was happening, and it was fine because again, he did not need that Olivia right now. He didn't need or want to be felt sorry for, he was going to die and awful death, and he was fine with that. He had accepted it the moment he had been informed that he was now a part of this top secret organization and that he had no choice about it. He didn't need to be coddled, he had never been coddled, not even when he was a child and should have been. He did however, want to hold her and let her know that he was fine and that she didn't have to worry about him, but he knew he wouldn't be allowed to do that. So, business as usual. He also didn't want her to harbor any guilt about his death, because she beat herself up about things like that.
There had been few words spoken after that and they had just sat there, drawing comfort from each other's presence, as much as they could anyway with the thoughts racing through their minds.
"I'm sorry," he said suddenly, causing her to look from the spot she had been staring at on the floor and back towards him.
She waited for him to continue but he just continued sitting there staring at the floor himself. "Jake," she said shakily, cursing herself for still sounding so weak.
"For not being there," he finished, knowing what she was going to say. He finally looked up at her and she was staring at him intently, confusion still showing on her face.
He started again, "I told you that you weren't going to have to go through this on your own, that I would be there for you, that I," he paused. "That I wasn't going anywhere and," he paused again, "I'm sorry."
He saw her brows furrow again as she finally realized what he was saying and he couldn't take her looking at him like that. He couldn't watch the pain on her face knowing that he was helpless to stop it. So, he turned away from her and looked back towards the floor.
She had grown angry with him in that moment. How could he give up on her so easily, give up on himself so easily? She had also made a promise to him, and unlike him she intended to keep her promise. She rose from the chair she had been sitting in with a new determination. She was going to find out the truth, because she was more convinced now than ever that Jake had nothing to do with the death of Harrison or Jerry, and like he had said that it was all her father's doing.
The determination would have to be put on hold, at least throughout the night, as she felt herself mentally and emotionally crashing on the ride back to her apartment, the weight of their visit finally taking its toll on her and the baby, as she had to keep herself from vomiting several times on the way home. This had led to her currently sitting on the floor up against the door to her apartment, crying her eyes out.
"Liv?" she heard a hesitant voice come from somewhere in her apartment. She looked up to see Anna, giving her a full view of the tears rolling down her face. Anna quickly made her way over to her.
"What's wrong? What happened?" she asked kneeling down on the floor next to her.
Olivia continued to cry and say names and words that made no sense to Anna since she could not understand the context in which they were being used.
"Okay, okay sweetie," she stated as she began pulling Olivia up from the floor. "I can't help you if I don't know what you're saying to me, so let's just sit here for a minute and pull it together." She had guided Olivia over to the cough and had her sit before going into the kitchen to get a glass of water.
"Here, drink this," she handed Olivia the water, but before she could place the glass to her mouth, she felt the acid in the back of her throat again and made a run for her bathroom. Anna went behind her after hearing her retching. She gathered the woman's hair in her hand holding it back from her face as she rubbed her back soothingly.
It wasn't until the stomach convulsions ceased that Olivia felt safe enough to pull herself away from the porcelain bowl. She fell back against the wall opposite toilet she had just been kneeling in front of and ran and hand through her hair, happy that episode was over and praying that nothing sparked another one.
She took note of Anna's quiet disappearance from the rest room and tried to focus more on breathing than on the thoughts that were trying to stomp their way back into the forefront of her mind. 'I'm sorry,' his voice rang through her mind and she closed her eyes, resting her head in her hand. He had no idea how much weight his words had actually carried. God, he literally had no idea.
She buried her face in her hands, willing the thoughts to go away and willing herself to continue to breath lease she start vomiting again.
"Here," she heard Anna's voice and looked up to see the woman handing her another glass. "It's ale."
She took a breath before beginning to take slow sips from it.
"Brought you these too," Anna added handing her a pack of crackers she had bought from the store a few days prior.
"Thanks," she managed weakly.
"Now, you wanna tell me what that was all about?" the woman asked as she took a seat across from Olivia, her back against the cabinet counter.
Olivia looked at her and saw the concerned look on her face. She also took note of the surprisingly non sarcastic tone of her voice. Anna smiled at her, showing her dimples that again reminded her of the young girl she used to share her intimate space with like this all those years ago, and she couldn't help but to give a small smile of her own. Right now, she had her Anna back, and that mattered more than anyone could ever know.
She took a deep breath and sighed, "Where to begin?"
Anna sensing that the worst part of the crisis was over replied, "The beginning, duh."
This got another smile out of Olivia and she smiled back, as the woman started off literally from the beginning, which she had not been expecting. When she realized Olivia had started off from five years ago, a month after the last time they had seen each other, she paused her older cousin and informed her that she was going to go pop some popcorn because it looked to be a long night. By the time she returned back to the room, she found Olivia sitting on her bed with her legs folded underneath her. Anna laid down on the bed next to her.
"Okay, I'm all ears," she said stuffing a hand full of popcorn into her mouth.
And Olivia started from the beginning, telling her everything.
A/N: Let me know what you guys think about this character and how the story is progressing. I will review this later after I take the English class I enrolled in to fix any typos lmao.