So this story was voted to be next updated….. Thank you for the reviews by the way, it has now become my most popular story going by the amount of reviews I have been getting lately.

I have also decided to lay back on the updating because I spend too much time on fan-fiction, it begins to feel more like a chore rather than a hobby; besides, I am really struggling to find the time to update since I now have three part time jobs, school, gym and rats to look after because unless you have owned any before, you would be surprised about the amount of attention that they crave for.

Also….Thank you 'Brazos'. You kinda gave me motivation to write this chapter up before the day you requested.

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

Jasper's POV

I was very confused; One second I was with Maria and Elias and the next, I was in a place that felt familiar. It was when I laid my eyes on Alice when it all came flooding back to me. I live here! She looked and felt worried; for me most likely. Why? What happened?

I turned my head to the person I was leaning against to figure out who it was. If it wasn't for Alice sitting in front of me, I would have thought it was her. I was shocked when I recognised him. It had been so long.

"Peter? What are you doing here?" I suddenly asked.

I felt relief from both of them. Now I was very confused. The last thing I remembered was standing in Carlisle's study where he was asking me questions about my past life. Oh god, no. Please don't tell me it happened again! The last time I had a flashback; Carlisle caught me biting my arm. At least I couldn't feel any pain. When Peter hesitated to answer, I questioned him again.

"How long?" I asked, looking away from both Peter and Alice.

It must have been rather long if Peter was here. Did I do anything bad? Did I hurt anybody? Where were the others? Were they safe?

"Two days" Alice answered.

No way! My flashbacks never lasted that long. This wasn't happening; it couldn't be.

"Did I do that?" I whispered.

My eyes crossed Peter's shoulder where there was a fresh bite mark. I already knew the answer; who else could it have been? Peter didn't want to answer and he didn't have to. I moved away from him, feeling ashamed of myself. I didn't care about hurting myself but I couldn't stand the thought of hurting the others.

"Hey come on, man. It wasn't your fault" Peter tried.

Of course it was my fault. If I wasn't so messed up in the head, this wouldn't have happened. Why did anybody even bother to help me when all I do is cause them pain?

"Because we care"

We all turned around as Edward walked into the room with Carlisle behind him. Nobody even bothered to question what I had thought because they already knew. They knew very well about the way I think.

Carlisle crouched down in front of me and lifted my chin with his finger to look into my eyes.

"Your eyes are gold again. Are you alright?" Carlisle asked concerned.

My eyes had probably been black before. I remember Peter telling me many years ago that my eyes had gone pitch black after having a flashback. He said at first, he thought I had smelt human blood and he couldn't.

I hated the way Carlisle was being concerned. Didn't he hate that I was being a danger to his family? The problem was Carlisle was too nice to lead a coven. Most leaders would have killed me for what I did yet he wouldn't even punish me. He should at least make me leave.

"I should go" I whispered.

"No way! Not after everything we have been through!" Edward shouted.

"You don't understand, Edward. I could kill you the next time this happens" I told him.

It was true. I may not be able to see myself when I am having my flashbacks but looking at Peter was enough evidence that I wasn't worth the fight. Maria may have caused most of my injuries but the majority of Peter's bites were made after we left the southern wars because he spent most of his time trying to calm me down from my flashback.

Not only that but Peter even had to hurt me once during one because I tried to kill Charlotte. What if it's Alice next time? I just don't want to hurt anybody. I want them to just stop trying to help me before it's too late.

"No, you're not going anywhere" Carlisle stated, calmly. "The reason why this flashback has happened is because you were finally opening up. It has to get worse before it gets better although I am unsure if this was the worst of it. Whatever had just happened, perhaps it's not a bad thing like we all think it is. You have kept yourself hidden for so long that your mind is just trying to overcome the truth about what happened" he explained.

I wasn't strong enough to overcome this. They always tried to convince me that I was but the truth is I was weak. If I was strong, this wouldn't have happened in the first place; I would have got over this like nothing happened.

"That's not true, Jasper. Nobody could have gone through what you did and go on living like normal" Edward said.

"Get out of my head!" I hissed at him, baring my teeth.

"Jasper" Carlisle warned.

I couldn't help but show my animalistic side; it was a habit. I was used to doing it whenever I got mad back during the southern wars but I still do it occasionally now. For the first few years of joining this family, it had taken me a while to avoid doing it but they were patient with me.

I looked away and moved my body closer to Peter's. One thing that Peter had in common with Alice was that they both made me feel comfortable at the touch whereas everybody else made me freak out whenever they came into contact.

"Jazz, they're just trying to help" Alice said as she put her hand on my arm.

I knew that; I just didn't want it. I didn't deserve any of this. Maria never did anything wrong, it was just discipline. If she never dominated me like that, then how else would I know she had control over me? She was the leader of the group, she could do what the hell she wanted whether any of us liked it or not. I noticed Edward look away and hesitated to say something but he knew it would only end with me snarling at him again.

"So what's gonna happen?" I asked quietly.

"Well, if we were human, things like this is usually handled by having counselling sessions. Talking about what happened and how you felt then and now is part of the healing process so I suggest that from now on, you and I should spend at least an hour a day to talk about it; perhaps in the evening as soon as I finish work" Carlisle suggested.

I still didn't think it was a good idea. If I get another flashback, I could really hurt someone next time and I already thought that hurting Peter was bad enough.

"Wouldn't that just trigger it again?" Peter questioned.

"It might but only until Jasper has learnt to overcome it. When he learns to accept that none of this was his fault, the flashbacks will fade" Carlisle explained.

Both Carlisle and Peter turned their heads to me, waiting for me to say something. They were probably expecting me to protest but I thought about it. If what Carlisle is saying is true and my flashbacks will go away or at least decrease, I am less likely to feel the urge to bite myself so I won't have anything to hide from Alice. I hated lying to her. It may even help me boost my confidence when I'm alone with her since I still have issues with that.

"Do you really think that it will work?" I asked, nervously.

Alice squeezed my hand and smiled faintly. Carlisle, too, smiled a little; they were probably surprised that I hadn't thought against their idea.

"It does with humans so it's worth a try" Carlisle encouraged.

He then looked back at Peter. "You are both free to stay as long as you want but that does mean you'll have to avoid killing the humans in this area" he offered.

"I appreciate your offer, Carlisle. We'll stay for as long as Jasper needs us" Peter replied.

He made me sound like somebody incapable of looking after themselves but then again, that side of him had come out as soon as I started to change with what Maria had done to me. Since we were pretty much brothers in war, we were both very protective of each other; almost as protective as I was with Alice but due to vampire instincts, we were both still willing to kill each other if one of us appeared as a threat to our mates.

When Maria wanted me to kill Charlotte, I was actually going to do it but Peter intervened and we ended up attacking each other over it. I had surrendered once Peter was on top with his teeth bared right by my neck because deep down, he didn't want to hurt me but he would if it meant protecting his mate. After the next few days, Peter spent all his time near her and would growl at me whenever I got close so I spent all my time with Maria. After those few days though, I had decided to let them go. I had always wanted Peter to live a safe life and I had that chance to give it to him so I did.

"Can er….can Peter and I have some time alone?" I asked nervously.

It had been so long since we had last seen each other and although Charlotte, too, was in the southern wars with us, I never had a bond with her the way I did with Peter; she was just somebody I had to protect to keep Peter happy.

"Of course you can" Carlisle answered.

He gave the others a nod so they would leave. Alice leaned over and gave me a kiss on the temple and another squeeze on my hand before she left, too. Once Carlisle shut the door and it was just Peter and I left, I pressed my forehead against his neck and sighed.

"I missed you, J" Peter whispered.

I kissed his neck which would appear as an odd gesture to humans and even the family that I was part of but after growing up as true vampires, both Peter and I knew that it meant nothing more than being very close friends or brothers.

When Alice had first met Peter, she actually understood our relationship and accepted that we were very close and at the time, the one I trusted most but now it was even; I trusted Alice as much as I trusted Peter.

"I missed you, too" I whispered meaningfully.

When I had first left Peter and Charlotte, I felt very afraid. Peter was always there to protect me as I was with him. He was the one that kept guard as I drunk, he was the one that comforted me as I shook in his arms whenever Maria or Elias had hurt me, he was the one that killed humans just to stop me from feeling their final emotions; when I left them, I also left all the protection I had. I guess that put on the pressure and made me need to hurt myself even more but as soon as I walked into that diner one rainy night, the pressure I felt disappeared. Alice helped me avoid hurting myself temporary but I had to start again a little while after joining the Cullen's because I felt like such a nervous wreck by being near so many vampires again. I know Alice blames herself but I don't regret following her here; when I first met her, she wanted two things; the Cullen's and me.

Being so close to Peter without any other vampire around, I felt so relaxed that I closed my eyes. Peter's emotions, too, had relaxed whereas before he felt a little wary. It was perfectly natural; especially because of where we had started off in our vampire life. Our wariness around other vampires will never go away but it can be improved. At first, I hated it whenever the Cullen's came near me but now, I'm okay most of the time but when I get startled by one of them, which is usually Emmett, I can't help but let out a hiss or a small growl. I still can't control myself around strangers though; Alice always has to keep a hand on my chest to stop me from growling or Carlisle would pull me behind him. It was actually a vampire gesture to let me know that I was safe and that he would protect me but because he acted more human than he did vampire, I was surprised that he knew the meaning behind it.

I was unsure about the amount of time that I would have with Peter so I decided to make the most of it by spending the rest of the day relaxing against him.

I am so glad that I finally have this up. Any mistakes will be corrected when I have found the time.

Was the chapter okay?

'To love the unloved' is currently being written and hopefully I can have it up before the weekend finishes but no promises.

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