Chapter 10
JJ toyed with the fabric of her sweater as Hotch turned the SUV onto her street. They had dropped off the others first and JJ knew why. She knew what her boss wanted to say to her and already had an answer prepared for him.
"Before you go," Hotch barely turned his head in her direction. "There's something I'd like to discuss with you."
"I already know what you're going to say," the blonde drew a deep breath, "and even though it's probably the smart thing to do, I can't."
"Why not?" Hotch now turned himself completely to face the woman. He took in her slumped shoulders and tired eyes and wanted nothing more than to make this nightmare end for her. "JJ, please. Take your family and go. We will find him but until then, it isn't safe for any of you here."
"I'll talk to Will about taking Leila and Henry to my parents' but I'm not going anywhere." she insisted, turning her gaze to meet his. The once bright, warm eyes of the former media liaison were not darkened and cold. Hotch would've given anything to go back several years and see her as the ray of sunshine the team had unofficially dubbed her as. Seeing his friend so distant and depressed was like a solid kick to his gut.
"We can't lost you, JJ." Hotch lowered his voice. "You know that none of us would be able to deal with that- especially Leila."
"And I wouldn't be able to deal with myself if anything happened to another person because of me!" the blonde cried suddenly, causing her boss to straighten. Moments later she sighed and lowered her head. "Listen Hotch, I know you're just trying to look out for me but I'm not going anywhere. Please, just try to understand."
"I do." he admitted. "Call me if you need anything, ok? Any time." With a crooked smile, JJ nodded and climbed out of the SUV and waved to him from the front door of her house. Closing the door behind her, JJ dropped her bag and leaned against the wooden frame. Although it was late- almost midnight- she knew that both Will and Leila would still be up and she dreaded having to discuss this with them right away. Unfortunately, she didn't have a choice. Popping her head into Henry's room, JJ smiled at the sight of her son asleep peacefully and decided not to disturb him. Down the hall, she saw the door to Leila's room partially open and heard soft music coming from inside. She knocked and entered after hearing a quiet "come in".
"Hey." the blonde watched her sister swivel around to face her from her desk. Leila was obviously working on an assignment of sorts, a pencil in between her teeth and a textbook on her lap. The younger Jareau removed the pencil and started to roll it in between her fingers- one of her anxious ticks that JJ had caught onto early on in their relationship.
"Hey." Leila offered her a small smile. "Everything ok?" the teen frowned when JJ didn't return the grin. Standing, she made her way over to her sister and placed a warm hand on her forearm. "What is it?"
"I need to talk to you." JJ said in almost a whisper. "I'll get Will. Can you wait in the kitchen?"
"Sure." Leila cocked an eyebrow but did as her sister asked as the blonde went to retrieve her husband. Two minutes later, the couple joined Leila downstairs where she was seated on the marble countertop picking at her nails. Will and JJ sat around the table, the blonde's grip on her husband's hand almost painful. It took a few seconds but before long, JJ finally addressed her family.
"I think we all know what I want to talk about." she began. "We all know what's been going on recently and there's no more ignoring it. Parilla's back." Saying the words aloud brought a bitter taste to the woman's mouth. She didn't miss how both her husband and sister stirred.
"Has the team made any headway?" Will asked quietly and JJ shook her head 'no'.
"We've just been granted access to the case." JJ prepared herself for what she was going to say next. "Today, I had to tell a mother that her daughter's death was my fault."
"Jay, you know that's not-"
"I understand that no one else sees it that way," JJ stopped her sister, "but I do. And when I saw that girl," she swallowed hard, "when I saw that girl, all I could picture was you." She looked into her sister's big eyes.
"That's not going to happen." Leila stated, sure of the fact. JJ merely shook her head.
"You don't know that." she insisted. "The simple fact of the matter is that we don't know anything right now. I'm not willing to risk your life- any of your lives- on a mere chance that something bad won't happen."
"What are you saying, Cher?" Will tilted his head, not liking where the conversation was headed.
"Will, I need you to take Henry and Leila and stay with my parents until this is over." JJ stated, her resolve evident in her tone.
"There is no way in hell you're not coming with us." Leila jumped off the counter, careful of her volume so she didn't wake Henry. JJ put her elbows on the table and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Leila, I don't have time to argue about this with you." she sighed. "You're going- you're all going- and that's the last I want to hear of it."
"Can you even hear yourself right now?" Leila crossed her arms. "You're not my mother JJ and I sure as hell am not going to run away with my tail tucked between my legs simply because you said so."
"I am trying to save your life!" JJ shot up, standing almost nose to nose with her sister. Leila, startled by the outburst, shrunk back but only slightly.
"You're my sister and I'm not leaving this city until we're all safe." the younger woman pressed.
"I don't have to explain myself to you, Leila." JJ shot back. "You live in my house and you're going to listen to what I say. It's that simple."
"JJ." Will warned, afraid of what his wife might say next.
"Don't 'JJ' me, Will." the blonde turned on her husband. "That man is a psychopath and he knows everything about me. How long do you think it'll be before he gets bored of kidnapping and torturing women and moves on to bigger things like taking our son away from us?!"
"JJ, no one is going to hurt Henry." Will tried to take his wife's hands but she yanked them away.
"You don't know that!" she cried. "No one knows what's going to happen and I'm not risking my family's lives on the whims of a crazy person!"
"He's after you, JJ!" Leila turned her sister around to face her. "He's going to come after you! You're the one who should be leaving!"
"I am not going to run away from him." JJ's voice was low and almost threatening.
"Then why should I?" Leila countered, sensing her sister's agitation grow with each passing syllable.
"Because this is my job, Leila!" the blonde tried to explain.
"No it's not!" the brunette yelled back. "Your job is to catch criminals, yes, but not when you're the victim!"
"I am not," JJ pointed a finger in her sister's face, "a victim."
"That's exactly what you are whether you chose to admit it or not." Leila held firm. "We both are."
"No, we're not." JJ insisted. "We're survivors and I'm trying to make sure we don't have to 'survive' anything again!"
"The only way to ensure that is to come with us!" Leila cried, running a hand through her hair in annoyance. "We care about you just as much as you care about us. Why should we hide while you're out there chasing a serial killer?!"
"Because this whole thing is my fault!" JJ waved her hands around them. "You and everyone else are done suffering because of my mistakes!"
"Maybe we should all just calm down and go to-"
"Please Will," JJ sighed, closing her eyes for just a moment. "Tell me you understand what I'm trying to do." Leila's gaze went from one to the other, unsure of whose side the man would take.
"I do." he admitted softly, reaching out to take her hands into his. "But Leila's also right."
"I can't leave." JJ shook her head slowly. "I can't leave the team to clean up my mess. These women- these victims- they deserve my complete attention and dedication."
"I know." Will nodded as he cast a sidelong glance to his sister-in-law. He took in her red face and grinding teeth and knew that she was beyond angry. "We're all just scared and stressed but we're going to get through this. All of us." He reached out and pulled Leila towards them, wrapping his little family in his arms. Although tense, Leila eventually put her arms around the couple and accepted their warmth. A few stray, angry tears slid down her cheek and when JJ saw them, she brushed them away.
"I'm going to fix this. I swear it." she told the younger woman, her hand still cupping her cheek. Leila opened her mouth to respond but decided against it, shaking her head out of her hold and taking a step back.
"I'll get Henry's things together." the teen said numbly as she proceeded to go back upstairs. When she was gone, JJ turned to her husband and fell against him. Tears strolled down her cheeks as if in a race and her entire body trembled with their force.
"Oh Cher," Will closed his eyes as he held her and stroked the back of her head. "You're exhausted." As the tears continued to pour out, he felt JJ nod against him. Wrapping a secure arm around her waist as the other continued to comfort her, Will half led, half carried his wife up the stairs and into their bedroom. He sat her down and removed her shoes and socks for her before retrieving an old University of Pittsburg tee and helped her change into it.
"Will?" JJ mumbled as her husband pulled the covers over both of them.
"Yes?" he asked, pulling her into him. Laying her head on his bare chest, JJ could feel her heart begin to slow back to a normal pace. She wrapped an arm around his waist and squeezed as tightly as she could.
"I'm sorry." she practically whispered against him. Will immediately started to shake his head.
"Don't be." he said. "None of this is your fault. I love you. Forever." He felt his wife smile at the words and the thought made his heart leap.
"Love you too." she told him softly before falling asleep pressed against him. Will stayed awake for the remainder of the night. He wanted to make sure that if JJ awoke at any point, he would be there for her. Also, the thought of abandoning her at a time like this sent his heart racing and his blood boiling. He wanted nothing more than to lock her, Leila and Henry in the house and find Jeremy Parilla himself. God help that man if I ever get my hands on him, Will thought to himself. When JJ stirred and groaned in her sleep, he wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and whispered gently in her ear,
"I'll keep them safe, Cher. You just make sure you come home to us."
At the sound of his voice, the blonde agent sighed and settled more soundly into her sleep. Will smiled at the sight of his beautiful wife and tucked a few stray hairs behind her ear before kissing her cheek and closing his eyes. Hopefully, sleep would come before their son wanted his morning pancakes.
Promise the next chapter will be longer and sooner. Although it is summer now, I am taking 2 difficult summer courses so don't hate me for not uploading as often as I should! Thank you for reading!