Chapter Six: Parfin, Parfoo
Lily Evans was not a girl who half-arsed her way through existence, so when she figured out that James Potter was Prongs, she double-checked to be certain.
Except double-checking wasn't good enough, so she triple-checked. Quadruple-checked. Like a private detective perusing the dark web, she holed herself up in her bedroom later that same day and pulled up more information in one hour than she'd managed to uncover in all the weeks she had known Prongs. Every rule she had crafted, as well as their contest, had ceased to matter in the face of the position she was in.
It was far easier to verify his identity once she already knew it.
She didn't have a Facebook account because she believed it was a soul-sucking waste of time, but Mary did, and Lily knew her password, and didn't have space in her conscience to feel guilty about a little casual hacking when her heart had been thrown into crisis. Potter, one of Mary's many Facebook friends, posted a lot of pictures of his cat – Algernon was his name – complete with funny captions pertaining to his various attempts at world domination. He wrote every status update, every comment, every silly quip, in his usual style – all lowercase, no punctuation – and to cap it all, his number, the phone number that Lily had been texting for almost four months, was displayed on his profile for anyone to see.
Mary had also been exchanging sexually-charged private messages with Sirius Black, which she hadn't told Lily about, so that was something to discuss at some point in the future, but everything paled when compared to the fact that Potter was Prongs. Prongs was Potter. Her crush was her crush. How the hell had she found herself in this situation?
And to think, Lily had believed Prongs was subtle, that he was doing such a good job of keeping his identity under wraps, when all the while he had splashed it all over social media without a second thought!
It was all too much. He was too much. Of course, he'd do something careless like this. This was just like Prongs, who lived his life with a joyful, reckless abandon, ignoring all the rules. She wouldn't have realised it of Potter, but how could she have? She didn't know Potter at all.
Except, she supposed she did know him.
Lily knew exactly how to make him laugh. She knew how much he wanted to emulate his father, and how he revered his mother. She knew that he liked pop from the eighties, and watched cartoons on Saturday mornings, and that he loved cherries and mushrooms, but hated mayonnaise. She knew that he had a bacon sandwich before bed every night, and that his ideal holiday involved many, many rollercoasters. She knew that he was kind, and earnest, and that his friends meant the world to him, and that for every compliment she gave him, he'd give her five in return, because he was unafraid to tell her she was marvellous.
She knew that she mattered a lot to him – or that Jane mattered – but that Dream Girl might have mattered more because he'd loved her without knowing her for far too long. He had idealised her, perfected her in his mind. She knew that she was fighting a fantasy for his affection, but that it was wrapped up in a very real person.
James Potter had fucked her over. He'd fucked her completely. She'd been erring on the right side of safe when Potter was Potter and Prongs was Prongs, when her body wanted one and her head the other, but now they had melded together in one blindingly appealing package, and every part of her wanted every part of him – but only if he wanted all of her, and though she had her suspicions about a turn in his feelings for Jane, he'd made himself unequivocally clear on Lily Evans.
Unless he hadn't. Unless Mary had been right the whole time. Unless he'd been lying. Hadn't he called her a genius? That was something.
She had to find out who Dream Girl was, and she had to make James see what she saw - that they were right for each other, and that she could make him happy in a real way, not the fantastical, imaginary way he'd concocted with a girl who hadn't even noticed his existence. Lily had months of conversations to back that up. Dream Girl had nothing but a beautiful face.
That wasn't much to base a plan on, but she was already in too deep to consider letting him go. She had to give it a shot or duck out, and there was no better time than the present, when she was still protected by a pseudonym. She couldn't see her plan through as Lily Evans. She had no sway over him as Lily Evans.
She might be able to do it as Jane.
Text Received from: Jane Doe
Sent to: Prongs, on Tuesday, 1st May 2018 at 6:26pm
...
Jane Doe: God, today crawled.
I'm sick and tired of this week already and it's only Tuesday.
Are you tired?
I swear, two hour assemblies should be banned from existence.
Prongs: i dunno, i think long assemblies are dead useful
i perfected the art of sleeping with my eyes open during assemblies ages ago
i get a nice nap and i'm never detected
Jane Doe: Perhaps you should teach James Potter to do that.
I can't believe he dozed off and fell out of his chair.
That was the funniest thing I've seen in weeks.
I was still laughing about it when I walked home this afternoon.
People driving by in their cars were looking at me like I was nuts.
Prongs: haha yeah
what a stupid arsehole
Jane Doe: Well, that's another name for me to scratch off my list.
I'm so far ahead of you in this competition, you should honestly be ashamed.
Also, for your information, James Potter is not an arsehole.
You be nice or we'll have a problem.
Prongs: lol what?
seriously?
why do you think that?
any specific reason?
Jane Doe: I mean, okay, since I trust you and all.
I might, perhaps, possibly, think he's sort of completely beautiful.
But in an annoyingly obvious kind of way so you know, it's fine.
It's possible that I'm biased.
Prongs: ...
you think he's beautiful?
Jane Doe: Oh my god, yes.
He's the fittest guy at school.
100% would bang.
Apparently he rescued Lily Evans from a football or something with an impressive athletic manoeuvre and it was really hot.
Swoon.
Prongs: what? did evans tell you that?
Jane Doe: I can't remember who told me.
Anyway, my point is, he's adorable.
Prongs: so you think he's adorable, but you'll still laugh at him when he falls out of a chair?
Jane Doe: Me and the rest of the school.
Anyway, he was laughing too.
Prongs: right
okay
that's weird
i never knew you fancied him
Jane Doe: It's not a big deal.
I mean, he's gorgeous, but I don't really know him that well, and personality is way more important in a boy anyway.
The look on McGonagall's face when he fell, though.
She was fuming.
I thought her nostrils might expand to the size of the cosmos and swallow us all.
I wonder how he got punished.
Prongs: with a week's detention
i mean, probably
she likes to dole out week-long detentions
Jane Doe: I've never gotten a detention from her, so I wouldn't know.
Prongs: well look at you, swotty mcswot
Jane Doe: You say that like it's a bad thing and I'm not brilliant.
God, you're rubbing off on me.
Soon I'll have no modesty left to speak of.
Prongs: hey
there's nothing wrong with being confident
Jane Doe: Confident, no.
Wouldn't really use that word to describe you, though.
That indicates a level of self-awareness you don't seem to have.
Prongs: it's nice up here on deluded mountain
Jane Doe: Stop being funny for like, five minutes so I can stop reaffirming your sense of self-worth and feel less guilty.
Dream Girl is going to have to put up with your nonsense when you win her over and marry her and she might not have the same level of tolerance for it as I do.
I'm creating a monster.
Prongs: you think i can win over dream girl?
thank you so much
that really reaffirms my sense of self-worth
Jane Doe: You prick.
Anyway, I had a REASON for texting you and it wasn't to boost your ego.
Prongs: sounds like you're also living on deluded mountain
Jane Doe: LOL shut up.
What I was GOING to say was that I'm shattered and have a lot of homework to do so I can watch one episode of Stranger Things tonight but not any more than that.
Prongs: need i remind you
you said that about the good place last weekend
how much of season 1 did we end up watching?
Jane Doe: That was different!
It was the weekend!
Also those episodes are a lot shorter.
Anyway what time do you want to watch tonight?
Prongs: i got home a bit later than expected today and i still have chores and homework sooooooooooooooooooooo maybe 9?
Jane Doe: Yeah, 9 is fine.
Alright, I've got an essay to finish so I'm going to put the phone down.
Text you later lovely.
Prongs: alright cool
talk later x
In the days of old, when James was a young, foolish lad of sixteen, he had thought that a difficult life meant loving one girl who didn't love you back.
How wrong he had been.
He was seventeen now, having mercifully gotten through another birthday without suffering through the humiliation of a James Potter-themed condom bonanza, and with age had come the knowledge of real suffering. A truly difficult life was loving one girl who didn't love you back whilst also falling for another girl – one who found him attractive enough to want to get physical with his real-life self – but who he couldn't have picked out of a crowd because he still, stupidly, after almost four months of friendship, didn't have an ever-loving clue who she was.
He had hoped that Jane and Lily were one and the same, but he knew for sure that they weren't, because he'd dropped a perfectly brilliant hint on Evans at the first available opportunity – per his mother's orders – and it sailed right over her head.
It wasn't fair that he felt this way. It wasn't fair that his mother persisted in believing that Jane was Evans when all evidence pointed to any other girl - except the blonde girls at school, and Helena Hodge, and Macdonald, who apparently had something going with Sirius now - and it wasn't fair that Algernon smacked him in the face with his tail every time James tried to confide in him. It wasn't fair that he'd agreed to keep Jane a secret from his mates, and that he still couldn't tell them, and that if he did, Sirius would fly into a huff, and Remus would tease him, and Peter would tell everyone because he was crap at keeping secrets.
It wasn't fair that he was trying his level best to get over Evans and felt, whenever she wasn't in his immediate vicinity, that he was doing a good job, but then he'd see her in class, or she'd sit by him in assembly, or she'd say hello when she passed him in the corridor - he'd certainly gone up in her estimation since he'd saved her from that ball - and his stupid little heart would expand like a hot-air balloon.
None of it was fair on him, but mostly, it wasn't fair on Jane. If Evans didn't exist, he'd have thrown caution to the wind and asked her out by now. He would have told her that she made him smile, and that he thought about her all the time, and that his day felt a little emptier if he didn't speak to her at least once, because all of that was true, unequivocally so. But there was Evans still, glowing proudly in the background, possessing a part of his heart that should have been Jane's.
He hated himself for that, because he prided himself on being honourable. He'd always thought of himself as a one-woman man, not half one and half the other. There was no point in being someone's boyfriend if part of you longed for someone else.
So he couldn't go there with Jane, not until he could give her every last scrap of his affection, not until he could get past Dream Girl.
But god, was Lily making it hard.
He'd thought the corridor greetings and the return of their side-by-sides in assembly was the height of it, but she blew that out of the water on a Monday morning in Binns's class, when she slid into the empty chair beside him and fixed him with a smile that could have made flowers bloom in a barren desert.
"Hi!" she said brightly. "Can I talk to you about something before Binns comes in?"
James would have answered, but Sirius had marched up to the desk behind her, and was glaring down at them both.
"Excuse me?" he said, with narrowed eyes. "I was just about to sit there."
She looked up at him. "Oh, were you?"
"It's my fucking seat, isn't it?"
"Oh, just sit next to Mary," Lily commanded, with enviable poise in the face of Sirius's irritation. "You can survive without him for one class."
"You can't just tell me to sit somewhere else—"
"I just need him for one class, Black. You can have him back afterwards, in perfect condition, I promise."
Sirius may have lived to take the piss out of his mates, but he wasn't such a shit that he'd deny James a golden opportunity to sit next to the focus of a two-year obsession for an entire hour, so he rolled his eyes and moved towards the back of the room. This left James, of course, alone with Lily, who started to unpack her things from her bag and set them out in front of her in preparation for class, humming some innocuous tune under her breath, while he reeled from the shock of it all.
"You don't mind me sitting here, do you?"
He shook his head.
"Hmm?" She hadn't been looking at him, but looked now, and a tiny crease appeared between her eyebrows. "Do I have something on my face?"
"What?"
"You're looking at me like I've got two heads or something."
"No, sorry, I'm just tired."
"Oh, right," she said, and smiled again. "Well, try not to fall asleep and tumble over again. I'll do my best to catch you, but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough."
Perhaps, he thought, Lily was a trained assassin, and had been hired to torment him until he dropped dead. His brain was performing a slow crawl through molasses, his face had gone hot, and the rest of his body felt uncomfortably cold - a sure sign that she was slowly but surely poisoning him through the medium of intense physical beauty. The only thing that could make this situation more awkward was an unwanted boner, which was a problem he had faced in her presence before, but never when he was struggling to shelve his feelings in favour of another girl.
He was so weak. Weak and malleable. If Lily had asked him to kiss her right now he probably would have done it, classroom full of people be damned. Jane deserved so much better than a pathetic cad like him.
"Anyway," she continued. "I think we need to talk about this little romance that's been brewing."
His intestines flipped over. "Pardon?"
"Between Mary and Sirius?"
"Oh, right. What about them?"
"Well, here's the thing," she said, and laid a hand on his arm, with tied with the moment he'd held her hand to pull her to her feet as the most panic-stricken James had ever felt in his life. "The reason I wanted to talk to you is because – you know how Sirius is all darkness, Russian literature, 'I don't give a shit about anything but leather jackets and my one-man war against authority,' and all that?"
"I'm familiar with him, yeah."
"Well, Mary's having a late birthday party on Saturday, and she wants to invite him, but she doesn't want him to think she's inviting him as like, a boyfriend, or anything, so she asked me to ask you if the four of you could come, and then she'll pretend she doesn't want to invite him but will agree for the sake of making me happy."
"Oh."
"There are a bunch of people coming already, and her parents will be out, so, you know, if you fancy copping off in a darkened bedroom—"
"Yeah, that sounds great," James agreed. "The party, I mean, not copping off—"
"I know, I was kidding."
"Yeah, so was I."
That little crease appeared again. "What?"
"What?"
"Only, you just..." she said, and laughed. "James, you sort of made it sound like you do want to cop off in a darkened bedroom."
"With - with you?"
Lily shrugged her beautiful shoulders. "If you want, I suppose. You did save me from that football."
He was definitely gaping at her, and he definitely had an erection.
"Oi, Mare?" said Lily, twisting in her chair towards him, which was terrifying, lest she happen to glance below the desk and see what her jokey suggestion had brought about, and waved at Mary. "Can Potter and his friends come to your party?"
Mary made a noise of disgust. "Do they have to?"
"I strongly insist upon it."
"Oh, fine then, but it's on you to chaperone."
"Cool," said Lily happily, and turned back around, just as Binns entered the classroom, his battered carpet slippers shuffling against the linoleum floor. "There you go, Potter. A little lesson on the subtle intrigues of thirsty women."
Perhaps he was dead already, and this was his eternal damnation.
Text Received from: Jane Doe
Sent to: Prongs, on Friday, 11th May 2018 at 8:48pm
...
Jane Doe: Hey, this is going to sound a bit weird.
But do I have permission to be a total sap for a moment?
Prongs: permission granted?
Jane Doe: Okay, cool.
I just wanted to say that I'm so glad you texted me when you found my number on the wall.
I know our whole situation is really strange, but you've become one of my best friends in the world, and one of my favourite ever people.
Sorry to be unexpectedly sentimental. I just watched a bunch of videos about kittens.
Prongs: i know how you get when you watch kitty vids
silly jane
honestly, you're amazing and i don't deserve any of this
Jane Doe: Yes, you do!
And seriously, as for Dream Girl? Whoever she is? If she doesn't want to date you, she's batshit crazy.
You are funny and clever and sweet, and would probably be a great boyfriend.
I mean that. I'd date you, if I were her.
Prongs: jane, honestly
i don't deserve the nice things you're saying and you could definitely find a better bloke to date
so could dream girl
i'm lucky that you even think of me as your friend
Jane Doe: You're being uncharacteristically modest.
Have you been lobotomised?
HAVE YOU BEEN KIDNAPPED?
Oh god, is this some sort of code that I need to call the police?
Use one capital letter if I'm correct.
Prongs: lmao no, but
i'm perhaps a little bit tipsy
padfoot and i, he's staying for the weekend and mum's letting us drink
i've only had a couple so far but pads is breaking out the whiskey
pray for my soul
Jane Doe: Oh, I see.
Your mum's so cool.
And I thought you were a happy drunk?
Prongs: i am normally
i'm just worried about will
Jane Doe: Will?
Prongs: is he ever going to get out of the upside down?
how is winona coping?
Jane Doe: LMFAO that's what you're thinking about?
Prongs: he's only a kid jane
he just wanted to play dungeons and dragons with his friends
i hate that guy steve
Jane Doe: I'm going to die, honestly.
You don't hate Steve, you're jealous because he's a hot specimen of man and I'm definitely in love with him.
Prongs: shame on you jane
such vulgar words
don't go for fictional characters on looks alone
Jane Doe: But his hair. It's glorious.
Prongs: james potter's got hair like that
so like
i guess we know your type
Jane Doe: I guess we do.
You ask James Potter to start wearing tight jeans like Steve does and perhaps I'll get back to him.
But right now I'm all Steve, all the time.
Prongs: this is so upsetting
Jane Doe: 24/7 Steve
Prongs: you know there are more important aspects of the show to talk about
thematic aspects
existentialism
nostalgia
it's not all about wanting to bang steve
Jane Doe: But, in a way, don't we all - and I mean we as a society - want to bang Steve?
Prongs: i'm starting to think you're drunk
Jane Doe: I'm starting to think you're the one who's in love with me.
And not the other way round as you so frequently like to accuse me.
Prongs: that is an outrageous accusation
i am a asdhohsedr
sorry
Jane Doe: What?
Prongs: padfoot trying to grab my phone
he says i'm ignoring him
Jane Doe: Well, you kind of are.
Aren't you supposed to be bonding over whiskeys right now?
Prongs: yeah kinda
don't want to ignore you, though
Jane Doe: Don't worry about me, you silly boy.
Go have fun with your friend.
I'm going to watch a show with my mum, anyway.
Prongs: NOT stranger things!
you're not allowed to watch ahead without me
Jane Doe: Yeah, okay McGonagall.
With all your rules about what I can watch and what I can't.
Prongs: excuse me
i hate rules
i bend the rules
i break the rules
the rules quake with fear when they hear me approach
Jane Doe: So I can watch Stranger Things without you?
Prongs: only if you want me to cry
Text Received from: Prongs
Sent to: Jane Doe, on Saturday, 12th May 2018 at 1:18am
...
Prongs: fuck
jane
look i'm really druem
drunk
jane
jane
Jane Doe: Oh. Drunk texting.
This is new.
Are you okay?
You're not sick, are you?
Prongs: fshit, jane
yourre always so sweet and yuo care
i'm gonna ruin everything im so sorry
Jane Doe: Okay, honestly, I'm starting to worry.
What's wrong?
Prongs: i think i love you?
or have feelsing
feeline
howdo you spell that?
Jane Doe: ...
Feelings?
Prongs: yeah those
fuck ims o sorry don't hate me
your jsut so lovely and fun andi think about you somuch
this is weird
i feel sick and im sorry
i'm rewally fucked up beacuse dream girl but then
you
fuck
fuck
ive fuckedf it all up haven't i
Jane Doe: You need to go to bed.
Okay?
Are you at home? Are you safe? You didn't go out or anything, did you?
Prongs: im safe
at home with algernon and parfin
parfoo?
what was it again?
Jane Doe: Padfoot?
Prongs: thats the one
Jane Doe: Okay.
Look. Go to bed. Please.
I'll talk to you in the morning, okay?
But please go to bed.
You don't want to have this conversation now.
Prongs: im so sorry jane
i ruined it
Jane Doe: It's okay. But please.
Please please please, just go to bed, okay?
Prongs: ok
night jane
i'm so sorry
Jane Doe: Goodnight.
Of all the eventualities Lily had planned for – and she'd come up with a few potential endings to the story of Jane and Prongs, or Lily and James, should she ever find it within herself to let him know who she really was – James Potter getting hammered in the middle of the night and texting Jane to proclaim his love had not been one of them.
This was too quick. She had planned for something gradual and delicate. Cement Jane as a prospective girlfriend in his mind. Spend time with him at Mary's party - making him laugh, working all the little angles she knew to work because she knew how he worked. Let him make the connection by himself. It should have taken weeks, but she'd had it all figured out. He hadn't seemed to mind her flirting with him in class. Things had been going just fine, but now - the likelihood was that she'd have to tell him who she was. They couldn't go on as they had done with this hanging over both their heads.
Stupid Sirius Black and his stupid whiskey. She hoped Mary would bite his tongue later.
She didn't know if James had gotten to sleep after his drunken outburst, but Lily certainly hadn't. He'd murdered the night for her. She lay awake in the darkness, staring blindly at the ceiling, stomach churning like an ocean storm, until the sun had risen and the birds outside chirped, and she finally drifted off, overtaken by sheer exhaustion.
She felt no better when she woke up.
It was the weirdest feeling, knowing how James felt about her - or not her, about Jane, because he might have felt differently if he knew to whom he'd been speaking, as if the entire situation wasn't topsy-turvy enough. He'd used the word love, which she could probably discount - he'd been drunk, after all, and had such a fondness for the exaggeration - but still, he wouldn't have used it if he hadn't felt much.
She'd never felt anything like this before in her life. It was an intense kind of joy, but with a short, sharp pain whenever she thought of her, of Dream Girl, like a shard of glass buried in something delicious, slicing a line along the back of her throat and lingering just out of reach. She was jealous of a girl she didn't know. She was jealous of her own alter-ego, for crying out loud. That didn't even make sense.
This was too much. This was supposed to be a game, a simple contest. It wasn't supposed to end in an unholy mess.
She wasn't supposed to fall in love with him.
Text Received from: Jane Doe
Sent to: Prongs, on Saturday, 12th May 2018 at 2:00pm
...
Jane Doe: Hey.
Prongs: hey
Jane Doe: Are you okay?
Prongs: yeah
no
i'm so sorry about last night
i wasn't going to tell you and i did and i feel like a fucking idiot
and you probably hate me now
and you're probably texting to tell me to leave you alone forever
i'm so sorry, i'm so so sorry
please don't hate me
Jane Doe: I don't hate you.
But I'm really, really confused.
You think you love me?
Prongs: i'm so sorry
i didn't want to tell you like that
Jane Doe: Do you?
Is that true?
Or were you, like, drunk and didn't know what you were saying?
Prongs: i was drunk but
i mostly knew what i was saying
Jane Doe: Oh.
Prongs: so yeah
totally understand if you want to cut me off forever
Jane Doe: No.
Of course I don't.
I mean, god, are you blind?
I'm sort of maybe a bit smitten with you.
Prongs: seriously?
oh my god, for real?
Jane Doe: Yes.
But, look, you KNOW how complicated this is.
Prongs: look, i'm sorry i told you the way i did but i don't regret telling you
you're so smart, and you make me laugh, and my favourite part of my day is talking to you, and i feel wrong if i don't
what do you mean?
Jane Doe: You know why it's complicated.
I'm not the only girl you have feelings for, am I?
Prongs: okay look
i'm sorry, i know, i've been such a dick
i've had a crush on her for a really long time and i think maybe part of me doesn't want to let it go because i've spent so much time on one girl
but i've gotten to know you and it's different
Jane Doe: So now you're tired of pining for her, you've moved on to me?
Prongs: no wait
no no no
that's not how it is, honestly
i've been confused and it took me a while to get my head straight, that's all
the way i feel for you is more real
a lot more real
Jane Doe: But you think she's beautiful and clever and funny.
Prongs: i think you're all of those things!
Jane Doe: You don't know what I look like.
Prongs: i don't need to
i don't care, i know you're beautiful
in every way anyone should be, you are
you have to believe that
Jane Doe: I can't do that, though.
What happens when you see me, in person, knowing who I am, and then you realise that you don't fancy me?
How am I supposed to compete with a girl who lights up rooms?
Prongs: you light up rooms too
Jane Doe: How would you even know?
You have no idea what I look like.
Your feelings are based entirely on conversations we've had and nothing else.
Prongs: isn't that a good thing?
that i want you for you?
isn't that better than liking you for your looks?
Jane Doe: Yes, it is, and that's so sweet and believe me, I really want to say that everything's fine and go with it.
But I don't know.
The physical stuff is still important.
Prongs: does it matter to you what i look like?
Jane Doe: No, it doesn't.
Prongs: so why are the rules different for me?
Jane Doe: Because I've never been in love with anyone the way you are with Dream Girl. You've got nothing to compete with. I have HER looming over my head.
And, okay, I know you don't know her particularly well, but she seems so insurmountable at this point.
I can't get past the idea that you might change your mind if she decides she wants you and snaps her fingers.
I'm jealous, okay? I can admit that. I'm not acting this way for the sake of my pride.
I'm trying to protect myself.
Prongs: i don't know what to do
Jane Doe: I don't know either.
Prongs: can i see you in person, please?
please?
are you going to mary macdonald's thing tonight?
Jane Doe: Yeah, I am.
Prongs: well so am i
i really want to see you
i don't know how else to convince you except in person
Jane Doe: And if Dream Girl is there?
Prongs: she probably will be and if she is i'll deal with it
you were right, months ago
i don't know her, i never did
but i'd choose you over her, i don't care what you look like, i would
i promise
Jane Doe: I don't know if I believe that.
Prongs: please?
i don't care about the stupid contest anymore
i'll tell you who i am right now
Jane Doe: No, don't.
I can't deal with looking at you when you see me and realise you can't go through with it.
Prongs: that won't happen
Jane Doe: It COULD happen.
Prongs: so what?
what do we do?
Jane Doe: Look, I'll make sure you know who I am, okay?
I'll let you know somehow during the party.
Prongs: what, like with a badge?
Jane Doe: No, you utter idiot.
I don't know, I'll figure it out.
Prongs: alright
jane, i'm so sorry
i didn't mean to hurt you and i did it anyway
Jane Doe: I'm going to go and do something else for a while, okay?
I don't think we should talk for the rest of the day.
Prongs: alright
sure
no problem
but i'll see you later?
Jane Doe: Yes.
For better or worse, I guess.