A/N: So I'm writing on my other story and I have a good bit written and what happens...my freaking lap top dies. Not even blue screen of death dies, like I no longer respond to electricity of batter current dies. So I got frustrated at the other story and decided to write another chapter for this story on the new lap top which I did not have the money to buy but I needed it least I not have a job. *Sad sigh*
I want my Fall TV shows back and I want them now. I always do so well up until around this time then I just lose it. Ugh...I need Mama Pope and Cookie and all of their kids, exes, and their kid's friends lol.
"I hope you're opening the good stuff tonight because I need it," Abby said as she walked inside of her friend's apartment.
"Why?"Olivia closed the door behind her friend. "What happened?"
"Nothing. I just hate all those fuckers. I can't believe I let you talk me into..." Abby said walking into her living room. "Hey my love!"
She immediately went from arguing to talking sweetly to the baby. "Oh, my god look at you. I just want to stay here and cuddle you and never go back to that god awful hell hole."
Olivia watched as Abby hugged her daughter. The smile now gone from the baby's face as she seemed to try to figure out why she was being loved on so aggressively.
"It's not that bad Abby," Olivia told her, leaning against the door frame to her living room. Her friend was being dramatic.
"That's easy for you to say," Abby told her. "You actually get to be with people you actually like from time to time. While I'm stuck in the white house with all those assholes. Do you even understand how much I hate them Olivia? Do you? I hate them."
Abby snapped and Olivia would have laughed because it was borderline comical, but one she wasn't in the best of moods herself and two she didn't want to offend her friend because she knew that she was being serious.
"Alright," Olivia said nonchalantly. "I get it, you hate them. Can you just not make my daughter cry?"
Abby looked at the baby who was looking at her with a pouty face, tears welling in her big hazel eyes. "Oh, no. No, no. Not you sweetie," Abby said hugging the baby to her again. "I could never hate you, You are like the best thing that has happened to me all day. I actually wanted to be your nanny, but your mommy wouldn't let me."
Olivia smiled. "Did you, or did you not want wine?"
Abby looked down at the baby's face and saw that the little girl was no longer on the verge of tears. She let out a sigh. "Definitely want wine."
With that the two women headed into the kitchen.
"Do you feel better?" Olivia said walking back into the living room. She had just come from putting Adeline down for the night, but she could still hear the little girl babbling over the monitor, likely to the stuffed animals that hung above her crib. She would either tire herself out soon, or summon her mother back to her crib-side with her wails. She couldn't get a set bedtime for this girl, no matter how hard she tried. It was mostly due to her own hectic schedule, but she had made a commitment to do just that. In bed every night at the same time, sleepy or not. She would only go back into the room if she started crying and that was just to soothe her until she would lay quietly in her bed again. At least that's what the article on the website had said to do. So far it had been working, and by working she meant the that baby was asleep by ten for the past week and only woke once around four or five am for a feeding, which was manageable and awesome and it made her wish that she had committed to this earlier.
"Mmm," was the woman's reply as she had just sipped some wine into her mouth. "Much," she said after swallowing.
"Good," Olivia flopped down on the couch and picked up her own glass.
"I still hate them though, I just don't feel it as much." Olivia picked up the remote. "No news," Abby demanded. "If I'm gonna sit here with you all night, I am not going to watch the news. Why am I sitting here with you anyway?"
Abby loved her friend and she knew her friend loved her. She also knew that they both loved spending time together and though she was happy to be here she was suspicious of the circumstances that had caused her friend to call her and invite her over. She could tell it was a last minute invite and she sounded a little down on the phone, and she still didn't seem to be in the best of moods.
"Sorry, would your rather be with Leo?" Olivia sked. Abbie rolled her eyes at the mention of the man's name. Even that bastard got on her nerves more often than not.
"No, what I would rather is you tell me what's going on with you," Abby told her. She knew something was up, and she knew Olivia was trying to avoid saying it. But she also knew that she wanted to talk about it with her or else she wouldn't have invited her over.
Olivia just shook her head and turned back to the television. Abbie stared at her a little longer before doing the same.
"Jake went out on a date," she blurted out before taking a long sip of wine.
Abby just looked back at her. "And you let him?" Was the red head's reply.
"How was I supposed to stop him?" She asked her.
"Wh...I don't know," Abby said sitting up on the couch. "Did you threaten her?"
Olivia gave her a look. "I don't just go around threatening women because they are dating a man that I'm...involved with."
"Amanda Tanner," Abby blurted out before she was able to stop herself.
Olivia took the wine glass down from her mouth and just looked at her in disbelief. She couldn't believe that she brought that up. She had tried to right that wrong, not soon enough though and she had failed ultimately.
"I'm sorry, it's the wine," Abby said setting her glass on the coffee table. "I shouldn't have said that."
They both remained silent as they turned back to the television. It was on some type of kiddie cartoon that had obviously been meant for Adeline. Neither of them were really watching it as they were both lost in their own thought.
"So he went on a date huh?" Abby said, breaking the silence.
"Yeah," Olivia said, not taking her eyes off of the television.
"How do you feel about that?"
"I'm not thrilled about it," she said. "I don't think that I really like her."
"Wait," Abby said sitting up again, "you met her?"
"Briefly," Olivia confessed.
"What does she look like? Is she hideous?" Abby asked with a devious smile.
"No," Olivia said sadly. "She's pretty, and young. And I hate her," she mumbled the last part.
This was why Olivia had invited Abbie over, she needed someone to vent to about this. She was feeling a certain way about Jake's new fling and she didn't know what to make of it or how to deal with it. So unfortunately she went for the most immature way of handling it, inviting her friend over and whining about it while bashing the both of them.
Abby smiled. "Oh my god, Liv, are you jealous?"
"No, I'm not jealous," Olivia lied. "I just, want him to do what I want him to do."
Abby laughed and she couldn't help but to follow as those words sounded so much more immature out loud, not that she didn't mean it partially. She wanted Jake to be happy but she also didn't know if him being with someone else would make her unhappy in the long run. Bottom line, like she had inferred to him. She didn't want to decide that he was the one she wanted to be with and then have him unavailable, then she'd be kicking herself for pushing him away. Because no matter how convinced he was that she would chose Fitz, she wasn't as convinced. She knew that because if she was, she wouldn't be feeling the way she was about him being out on a date with someone else.
"Well, Liv, you can't just expect the guy to sit around and wait for you to finishing putzing around with Fitz," Abby told her.
"I'm not putzing around," she countered, slightly offended.
"Really? Do we need to look up the definition of putzing?" Abby offered. Olivia responded by turning her head back towards the television and bringing the wine glass up to her mouth. "Liv, you have been doing the exact same thing for the past seven and a half years. It's like a bad cycle. And believe me, I know about those."
"Okay, it's not," Olivia said shaking her head. She was trying to find the right words to say that it was nothing like the cycle between her friend and her ex husband without sounding too offensive.
"Oh it's a cycle, and quite frankly I'm tired of watching it. First it's the honey moon phase where you find a few days here and there to actually be together and be happy and pretend that the rest of the world doesn't exist. Then the real world gets in the way of that and you get sad because you realize that this is the actual reality of the situation. Then he does something stupid, then you take turns getting mad at each other, and then you stop talking to him completely because you do realize it's a vicious cycle that's making you depressed, then he realizes that you're not talking to him and either comes crawling back to you or threatens suicide," Olivia cut her off.
"Abby, that's not fair," she told her.
"Yes it is, Liv, and if it's not I don't care. I don't care about being fair to him because fuck him. He's an asshole and I put up with him because of you and it's a steady paycheck for me but I hate him. You're my friend not him and I am tired of seeing you like this. You have given up some of the best years of your life waiting on this selfish fuck. Do you know what he was doing in his thirties Liv? He was focusing on what he wanted. He was making moves to become president, he was starting a family, he was marrying the woman he loved and he expects you to sit around waiting on him. No, fuck that. Fuck him. I say he's not available to give you want and need from him then move the hell on. If for whatever reason you're not available when he finally gets his shit together, well then, it's just his turn to wait on you."
Abby started to sip from her glass again, while Olivia remained quiet. She always got quiet when someone told the truth about Fitz, because she knew they were telling the truth and she had no rebuttal. "And you're not going to say anything."
"What do you want me to say, Abby? I'm stuck," she confessed. "I'm stuck. I feel like everyone...the world is going on without me. Everyone's finding and living their lives. And I'm just stuck here waiting to begin the next phase of mine. You think I want to be stuck here in this god forsaken place surrounded by people who I can't turn my back to without them trying to stab me in it. You don't think I want to be free of this?"
Abby looked at her friend as she placed her glass down and wiped the tears away from her eyes. She wanted to hug her, she really did because she hated seeing her hurt like this, but she wasn't sure what good that would do as the woman would probably jump right back into the same cycle the next day. So she decided to be truthful with her.
"So be free of it Olivia," she said as if it was the most obvious thing. And in many ways it was.
"If I knew how to do that Abby, don't you think I would have done that a long time ago," she said as tears continued to roll down her face.
"It's not that hard. You just have to decided to not be involved with anyone," Abby said trying to explain what she meant as best she could. "It's going to hurt letting go of that...idea and that life that you've built mentally, and it's supposed to, but it'll stop one day. The plus side to this is that you know that it's going to stop hurting one day, you can't be too sure of that if you keep holding on to it."
Olivia ran her hand through her hair, pushing her hair out of her face. She wiped her eyes, but tears continued to flow, for everything. Here she was trying to deal with the possibility of losing one person she cared about and her friend was telling her to let go of another. Though she would be lying if she said what the woman was saying didn't make sense. Break-ups hurt, ever since she was fifteen years old. But she got over them, surely she would get over this one too.
"Maybe you just need to be alone for a while without trying to be with anyone, or thinking about being with anyone...figure things out, get your head on straight. Find yourself again," Abby suggested as she finally reached over to rub her friends back.
Actually what Abby was saying sounded like a great idea. She felt like she had gotten her first breath of fresh air in years just by entertaining the idea. If she was honest with herself, not only was she stuck, she was lost. A lot of times she would find herself doing things that was foreign to her and she would scare for a second and think when did she become that person, because she didn't necessarily like that person. And she would often times find her inner voice scolding her for giving into the pressures of the world and not being true to herself and letting other people steal her happiness. Either way, she had a decision to make. She could go on as she was hoping that the tides would turn and she could be a happier more fulfilled person or she could take matters into her own hands and actively pursue her happiness and fulfillment.
"Here give her to me," Jake said as Olivia expressed that she needed to run to the restroom. They were at one of the most popular brunch spots in their area which meant they had to stand in line. Abby and Olivia had decided to meet up for brunch and Jake had joined them since he had wanted to see the baby but didn't know if he would have a chance later, so he would take her after their brunch and hand her back over to Liv sometime in the afternoon. "Wrap me up," he continued with a smile, which brought a smile to Olivia's face.
He held out his arms and she handed Adeline to Abby before she unwrapped the material from around her and proceeded to wrap it around him. She had been trying forever to get him to wear the wrap, and though he was agreeing to it jokingly, she would not miss the chance to get him wrapped up in the thing. She had told him it was almost like still being pregnant, which turns out was really convenient since she was already used to it. He had replied that he didn't think that was something he would ever need to experience.
"Glad you finally see things my way," Olivia told him as she finished tying the wrap. She then proceeded to take Adeline and help him secure her to his chest.
"Yeah, this girl told me she thought it was hot," he said, still trying to adjust the straps and the baby to make it most comfortable for him.
Abby gave Olivia a look implying that she better not say anything. Something had happened over the past week. After her conversation with Abby, Olivia had decided to do just what they had talked about and take some time to be single, uninvolved, and find herself again. Now she had taken this vow many times, but had never really kept or had any success with it. This time however, she had had new motivation to succeed, her daughter. She would have been lying if she said she felt like a part of her postpartum depression didn't stem from her feeling like she would be a crappy mother overall, and that stemmed mostly from feeling like she was stuck in a fog in life. Before she had moved to D.C. permanently she had been a different person. She had been more outgoing and more involved in life in general. Yes she was still a career driven woman but her career came somewhat easy to her. It was a lot of work and yes at times she did have to put her social life on hold to tend to her career but that was the point. She had a social life. Now she felt like it had been put on hold indefinitely and her sole focus was her career. It was like she had to put her career on hold to have a social life and that didn't happen very often as she often had to wait for a certain other person to be able to make time to progress that social life which really wasn't a progression rather than a short lived acknowledgement. And this had all changed her. She still hung out with her friends from time to time, but not nearly as much as she used to which made her feel like a horrible friend. Sure she had taken these people in and always tried to be there for them but it was mostly when they had reached the point of someone needing to intervene or the consequences would be almost irreversible.
Huck was the one that she had kept closest tabs on but that was because he needed it and she feared what would happen if she didn't put in the extra effort to be involved. Stephen's marriage was all but over and she hadn't found out until after everything had happened. And there was Quinn, the woman who had become her friend because she had destroyed her life. She had agreed to the man that her friend was in love with being killed in order to protect the man that she loved and she had let her slip into the arms of B613 to put the icing on the cake that was the foundation of her friendship with the woman. She had abandoned Anna just about completely when she left for Fitz's campaign. Then there was Abby, who had stuck by her side through everything. They had had a really close relationship and they had done things with and for each other that made them more like sisters rather than best friends. Like her taking that tire iron to Charles's knee. Or Abbie going to jail with her that one time when they were in law school when that guy cheated on her. No she hadn't been in love with him, but Abby understood, it was the principles. Yes, her father had had to get it erased from both of their records, which she had initially thought had been done with some good old fashion graveling and assistance from some important friends, but now she knew better. She was still close with Abby but not nearly as close as they used to be, which was solidified by the fact that the woman had responded with, "Yay, I'm getting my friend back," when she had told her that she was going to start focusing more on herself. She had told Abby because she felt like she need someone to hold her accountable, and she knew her friend. She was really good at and not very shy about pointing out when people were screwing up.
Bottom line, she had liked the old Olivia, the woman had qualities that were admirable. She was everything that the current Olivia was except happier, more content, and more confident in herself personally. Sure she still needed some work as she still hadn't figured out how to deal with her personal issues that had been brought on by her family issues and she was a bit wild and reckless at times, but she felt like she was mature enough now to be a better version of both her selves. She just had to decide to do so and put the work in. And she was excited about the life she would have if she was able to successfully pull it off, because she honestly thought that woman would be a great woman, friend, and mother.
She had expressed this to Jake, and he had supported her in her decision. She had then apologized for being rude to Parker when she first met her and telling Adeline that he had gotten her a big sister to play with. To which he had accepted her apology and also apologized to replying to her unwarranted comment by telling their daughter that her mother had gotten her an old rich grandfather to buy her things and fund her teenage debauchery when the time came. She had again rolled her eyes at him but accepted his apology. Now the only thing was keeping that promise to herself, because she was fairly new at this and she still didn't like the idea of him dating other women, because honestly he was hers. Ever since she had met him, he had been hers, even before she knew it. But she was working on it, and though she didn't think that she would ever be one hundred percent happy with him being involved with other women, she would at least get comfortable enough with herself that she could accept it. Thankfully, she had her good friend Abby there who still had her back as much as she had back in the day.
"So is that what you do with my goddaughter when you have her? Pick up hot chicks?" Abby asked with a somewhat threatening smile.
Jake laughed, he knew he was picking a fight when he made that comment. He just didn't know who would be the first to respond, because as he had learned over the past few months. His daughter's godmother lived up to the reputation of redheads. "No, it's not what I do," he told her. "It just kind of happens." Which was the truth.
"Yeah," she said not impressed by his answer. "Olivia told me you were dating Miley Cyrus."
He laughed at what was the obvious jab at the age difference between him and Parker, which was less than the age difference between Olivia and Fitz, but he wouldn't bring that up again. He had made his point loud and clear about that when Olivia had brought up him dating a younger woman by responding with an appropriately timed random thought that Fitz was just about old enough to consent to sex before Olivia was even born and that meant that big Jerry probably made and or paid off girls to abort fetuses of Fitz's that would probably be the same age as Olivia. To which he had followed that up with how he was starting to understand her dad more, now that he had a daughter of his own. He was about to finish but she cut him off with an annoyed "Whatever" and left the room and had personally never brought up the subject of he and Parker's age difference again, at least not to him.
Soon, thankfully, they had been seated and allowed to order. They had been sharing a pleasant meal with pleasant conversation when Olivia made the mistake of mentioning Stephen coming to town in a few weeks. To which Abby had responded with piqued interest. She had reminded her friend that her other friend was still married. She then threw a look at Jake to see if he would have something smart to say as he usually did, but she saw that he was preoccupied with keeping Adeline from placing her hands in his yogurt and grabbing other things off of the table. She had then continued to share the details of Stephen's visit with Abby as she was rapid firing questions at her. Soon their food was there and Jake was tasked with keeping their daughter from sticking her hands in everything she could get to. She couldn't help but to laugh when she heard a self impressed, "There," and saw that he had managed to tuck her little hands into the Moby wrap, leaving her to look around wide eyed and helplessly as she couldn't get her little hands on anything. She had offered to take the baby back which he declined saying he had it. She had then suggested that he turn the baby facing him to which he replied it was too much work and again that he had it. Apparently he did, not optimal, but it worked.
"Aww baby," Abbie laughed along with them. "Did your daddy put you in a little baby straight jacket?" The child only cooed and kicked her little leg as if telling the woman she was stuck so she could get some help.
That was one thing she admired about Jake. Well it drove her crazy, but often ended up making her laugh. It was the way that he parented. As long as it kept the child safe and didn't scar her emotionally, to him it was acceptable. Well he had other criteria but they didn't always sync up with hers. He was clearly going to be the always time for fun 'Daddy let me do this' type of parent. She was clearly going to be the let's actually get the daily necessities accomplished then have fun type of parent. Like the time she had called him into the bathroom to finish giving the child a bath while she answered a phone call and she had returned fifteen minutes later to ask him if he was done, which he should have been, and found her daughter with a curly little mohawk and a suds beard. The child was clearly having a blast as she splashed around in the water. He had apologized and told her that he had gotten distracted.
"Jake, she doesn't like it," she pointed out as the baby started to whine and they could see her struggling to free her little hands. She was about to tell him that she would hold her while he ate, but he responded before she could.
"She's fine," he told her. "She just wants my food." With that he brought a spoon with some mashed potatoes up to her mouth, to which the child eagerly opened her mouth. She immediately made a face as she got her first taste of the creamy substance.
She wasn't sure if they should be feeding the baby 'human food' as he called it, since she wasn't quite six months yet, but she figured she was close enough. Plus she seemed to really be enjoying it once she got a taste for it and got used to the texture. It wasn't long before Jake was getting up to go to the counter to get a second helping of potatoes since he hadn't really had any of the first between feeding his daughter and Olivia 'tasting' it.
"I can't believe she's already eating food, food," Olivia said as she wiped the child's mouth. He had finally given her back to her in attempt to actually be able to eat the food that he had ordered this time. "She's growing to quickly," she voiced. She was in a weird place of motherhood right now. She was enjoying the stage that the child was in right now, and thought it was amazing and exciting all the new things she had learned and was still learning to do and how quickly it was occurring and she was excited to see her grow more and see the new things she would be able to do within the next few months, but she also missed the tiny little bobble headed being that depended on her for literally everything. "Last night she scooted about three feet to get to her pacifier."
"That's awesome," Abby said as she smiled at the baby. "Next she's going to be crawling, and then walking. And then going off to college."
"Stop it Abby," Olivia laughed. She knew her friend was just messing with her as she was having a mommy moment.
Abby laughed. "Relax Liv. You can just have more babies, with choice number one or choice number two or choice number three the smoking hot stranger that you haven't met yet. Now when did you say Stephen was coming to town?"
Olivia rolled her eyes. It seems that she wasn't the only one looking for a change up when it came to her personal life.
A/N: Because honestly...we can do better by Abby on the show. Abby can has nice things too. How? How do they make the non abusive guys she's with look like that then cast the asshole Charles to look like that! I mean he was no 10 either but at least he was tall (that's me and my thing again, I apologize to all short men, it's my complex and insecurities not yours) also (No offense to any of the actors, as I'm sure they're awesome people, just not my cup of tea.) Don't you hate when they cast aesthetically pleasing people to be the bad guy, like Franklin Russel. Who's doing this? Is their purpose to cause me inner turmoil?
Some corrections made. Story on hold for I don't know how long and I'm working on another Olake fic but I don't know when I will be posting it on here. Its a piece with a younger version of Olake and I'm liking it so far.