The Peanut Gallery

by Starryoak

Total Drama All Stars has rolled around, and the non contestants have to watch. They'll be betting on who's going next, who's coming back, pretty much on anything and everything. Minor shipping possible.

2. Evil Dread

"New episode starts in five!" A voice over the loudspeaker called out.

"So, like I was saying, they should totally start calling out "We've got Movie Sign!"!" Cody grinned as he walked in, waving his arms to demonstrate. "And then we all come rushing in, see!"

"Nice MST3K reference, totally relevant and not out of date by about ten years." Noah smirked, secretly amused by the idea.

"MST3K is timeless, Noah, gosh!" Harold popped up behind them. "It transcends genres and appeals to the inner geek in everyone."

"Yes, because I totally asked for you to add your opinion." Noah rolled his eyes and stopped short when the chair he had occupied yesterday was taken. "What." He said flatly, as Staci sheepishly waved at him.

"Hi Noah!" She said, wearing a wig that could be modestly described as gaudy. "Like, I was wondering, yah, if like, I can, y'know, not have my mouth duct taped shut, yah?" She asked, twiddling her thumbs. "Cause, like, duct tape was invented by my great uncle Dan, and we're not supposed to associate with him after he blew up at my second cousins wedding, and I think my mom would flip if she knew I had used duct tape."

"Wow, I can't tell if you're lying or incredibly deluded. I'm impressed, really." Noah deadpanned. "How about I promise not to get the duct tape, and you give me my seat back?"

"Oh, this was your seat?" She said, getting up. "Yah, go ahead, like, I don't care." She walked off and sat on a nearby rolling chair.

"Do you really need to sit there, Noah?" Bridgette asked him, sitting on Geoff's lap.

"Bridge, don't ask him that!" Geoff whispered to Bridgette, earning an annoyed look from Noah.

"You realize I can in fact hear you." Noah said, reclining in his chair.

"He's like, super protective of that chair!" Geoff said, unaware Noah was still in earshot.

"Then why did she sit there? It's not like he owns the chair!" Bridgette whispered back angrily.

"She's a newbie, she didn't know!" Geoff said. "As far as all us dudes are concerned, he does own that chair. He claimed it before anyone else, and the only guy allowed there is Noah."

"Wow, that's just... wow." Bridgette sighed, facepalming. She wasn't getting anywhere with this conversation.

"Ok, now then, who's gonna bet on something first?" Trent walked into the room.

"Ok, now I'm starting to agree with Bridgette, you've got a problem, Trent." Beth said worriedly, sitting down on a nearby futon.

"No I don't." Trent smiled smoothly. "I just enjoy it. But if nobody's interested, that's cool."

"Hey, Beth, I want to bet, does that make me a gambler?" Izzy leapt down from the rafter, poking Beth in the gut.

"By the definition, yes, actually." Harold corrected, earning a growl and menacing throat slitting gesture and noise from Izzy.

"You still do those really well, Izzy!" Owen grinned, lovestruck.

"Ok guys, I just convinced Lindsay to come out of the shower for the first time since she got here, so please don't be rude!" Tyler walked in, bags under his eyes, he clearly hadn't gotten much, if any sleep.

"Dude, have you been up all night?" Geoff asked, concerned.

"No biggie, I can deal!" Tyler said, eye twitching. "Lindsay just got really freaked out about being flushed down the toilet and said she was never going to leave the shower. So I've been trying to get her out for like, all night."

"That's not healthy, sugar." Leshawna said, also concerned.

"That's true, the longest anyone's gone without sleep is 18 days, 21 hours, and 40 minutes, but even losing one night's sleep seriously increases the risk of a heart attack." Harold popped up to say his interesting face.

"No way, I'm totally cool. I'm not even tir-" Tyler protested, but collapsed on the nearest couch and fell asleep instantly.

"Let's not wake him, he needs it." Owen said, giggling as Izzy almost immediately sharpied a mustache onto Tyler.

"Where did you go, Tyler?" Lindsay walked into the room, turning everyone's head to see that Lindsay was wearing her hair up in a ponytail now, her head scarf tying it up, she had exchanged her normal skirt for a blue one, and her shirt was somehow even more cleavage exposing (almost impossible, considering her normal shirt). "Tyler, did you go away like you did during TDA?"

"Shh, he's asleep." Beth smiled, pointing to the snoring Tyler.

"Awww, Tyler got a new mustache!" Lindsay smiled.

"Oh my gosh, Sadie, do you think Alejandro's single now?" Katie turned to her chubby BFFFL and squealed.

"Not if Heather's around." Sadie sighed.

"I hope Vito's coming back, baby!" Anne Maria swooned.

"But he's just an alternate personality." Cody said, confused.

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT ABOUT MY MAN, TOOTHPICK! I HAVE A CAN OF HAIRSPRAY AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO SPRAY YOU IN THE EYES!" Anne Maria shrieked, pulling a can of hairspray out of her rock solid hair, brandishing it in Cody's face. "Oh, and Brick, you need to pay up what you owe me." She turned to Brick, demeanor completely changed.

"Darnit..." Brick sighed, and Trent handed Anne Maria the money. "Oh well."

"It's starting!" Izzy yelled happily from atop Owen's shoulders.

"Last time on Total Drama: I welcomed the All Stars to the newly decontaminated island." Chris explained as shots of the last episode played.

"Semi-decontaminated." Leshawna corrected.

"Then, it was Heroes VS Villains, diving into shark infested waters in search of the one key that would unlock the door to the all new Mclean Spa Hotel, for winners only." He said, as interior shots of the hotel were shown. "Thanks to Scott's cowardly fear of sharks, we learned that in every robot beats the heart of a Spaniard."

"Are you kidding me? Scott's fear of sharks is completely justified! That thing wants to murder him!" Geoff defended Scott.

"In this case, Alejandro. And, while Alejandro might not hold the key to Heather's heart anymore, he did hold the key to the spa hotel, and victory for the Villainous Vultures." Chris said, clips still playing. "And the Heroic Hamsters bid farewell to Lindsay, via our newest and most humiliating commode of transportation, the Flush of Shame."

"Ewewewew!" Lindsay shrieked, panicking. "I still feel like toilet water! I need to shower right now!"

"You can't go, yah, we have to watch this. Especially since my great great grandfather invented toilet based transportation systems." Staci said, earning glares from everyone but Lindsay.

"Your great great grandpappy is gross!" Lindsay said, genuinely believing her lies.

"Who will be next to pop through the pooper?" Chris grinned.

"That joke was bad and he should feel bad!" Cody yelled at the TV.

"Hey, you've advanced your pop culture jokes into this decade, I'm impressed!" Noah smirked, earning another lighthearted punch from Cody.

"Find out right now, on Total Drama All Stars!" Chris grinned as the camera panned out.

"There's a storm 'a coming dagnabbit!" Mike mumbled in his sleep, as Chester, before gasping.

"Oh my gosh, Katie, he's doing that weird sleep talking thing!" Sadie said, confused.

"I talk in my sleep all the time!" Katie smiled.

"I know, remember when we were at summer camp?" Sadie squealed.

"And I accidentally confessed my secret crush on Josh Jones while I was asleep? Of course I remember, how could I forget?" Katie growled.

"I'm scared!" Svetlana said, panicked. "After all these years, he's going to return!"

"Guys, I think we need to focus on the show?" Leshawna shushed the two girls. "Who's gonna return?"

"Someone very, very dangerous..." Dawn said, terrified. "Mother Earth, his aura is... oh my!" Dawn said, backing up.

"Ok, things are getting freaky, Dawn, who is it?" Trent said, getting concerned.

"He is!" She said, sinking into her beanbag chair as if to hide herself.

"Yes, because that really answers our question." Noah said.

"I dare not speak his name, but suffice to say, he's much worse than Chris... and he isn't anywhere near as reserved." Dawn gave one last cryptic warning, then promptly closed her eyes and refused to get up.

"Ok, seriously, this is actually freaking me out!" Owen said. "Izzy, what's she saying?"

"She's saying that WE ALL NEED TO GO LIVE WITH THE MOLE PEOPLE!" Izzy jumped down from the rafters. "Abandon ship and head to the poop deck, people, things are going down and Izzy doesn't want to miss a second of it!"

"Well, that was helpful." Noah groaned.

"Hey yo, how we gonna stop this goombah?" Vito asked.

"VITO!" Anne Maria grinned, cheering.

"Has anyone noticed that when he's Vito, his hair flattens and gets shiny like he used a bunch of hair gel?" Beth said, confused.

"Yeah, actually, I have..." Dj said, pondering. "And when he's that Russian girl, he gets lipstick and mascara."

"Do you think he buys the same lipstick as I do?" Lindsay asked, having apparently zoned out for the entire conversation until she heard the words 'lipstick'.

"Let's just watch the show now, guys?" Bridgette said, pointing to the screen, grabbing the remote and hitting play.

"Hush it mates, Mike is waking up!" Manitoba whispered, before Mike indeed woke up.

"How am I supposed to tell Minnesota from Mark?" Lindsay asked. "With Vlad it's shiny hair, Svet-sve-..." Lindsay paused, struggling to pronounce Svetlana. "...Sally it's lipstick and really cheap mascara, Lester his eyes get all pinchy, but Minnesota looks just like Mark!"

"It's the accent, yah. He's like, also always wearing a fedora, so you know he's Manitoba. Did you know the term 'fedora' comes from a play written for my great great great grandma Sarah?" Staci said, smiling and explaining things slowly so Lindsay wasn't confused.

"Ohhh, I get it! Thanks, Lucy!" Lindsay grinned sweetly.

"Ok, who buys this bullshit coming out of this chick?" Eva stormed up to Staci, poking her nose forcefully. "All day it's 'My great great aunt invented whatever'! NOBODY BELIEVES YOU!" She screamed at Staci, who shrunk back. "GET. A. CLUE!"

"Actually, while I can't vouch for her relation to Sarah Bernhardt, she is correct about the origin of the word 'fedora'. The word comes from the title of a play made in the 1800's by Victorian Sardou, called "Fédora". " Harold popped up again, on a fact giving roll here. "So she's not lying, Eva." Eva glared at him and he quickly hid behind Leshawna, quivering.

"See, I'm not lying!" Staci grinned and crossed her arms in victory.

"FINE, YOU WEREN'T LYING, NOW CAN IT!" Eva screamed, before returning to threatening Harold for correcting her.

"Uh huh, wuzzat?" Mike looked around, groggy from sleep. "You guys say something?" He yawned. The camera panned over the other boys in the cabin, all fast asleep, Sam still clutching his Gameguy.

"Aw, Sam cute when sleep!" Dakota cooed, smiling warmly.

A mosquito suddenly landed on Sam's ear, and began draining an absurd amount of blood, leaving Sam rather pale.

"SAM!" Dakota shrieked. "GIVE SAM'S BLOOD BACK, STUPID BUG!" She growled.

"Is that even possible?" Noah asked. "Because if it is, I'm never leaving home without bug spray again."

"Oh, don't worry, it's a mutant mosquito, not a normal one, you have nothing to be worried about besides malaria." Izzy smiled.

"Gee, I feel so much better now." Noah groaned.

Mike shrugged and went back to sleep, the bloated mosquito sloshing, it smashed through the boys window and flew past the girls side, the camera panning in on Courtney. A sudden flash from Sierra's smartphone made Courtney bolt up, awake. "Ugh, what the heck?!" She growled.

"Courtney? What's wrong?" Zoey called down from the top bunk.

"What's wrong is we're sharing a cabin with a super fan with a bad case of crazy!" Courtney said, camera focusing on Sierra, who was tapping away on her phone.

"Hehehehe, hey Courtney, I've updated the sleeping section of your picture gallery on my fansite, wheee!" Sierra grinned, brandishing her phone and giggling.

Confessional:

"I hate to break Chris's rules about smuggling in special items like my cellphone," Sierra began, proudly shoving her phone into the camera, the background being a photo of Cody in the shower, terrified and holding a towel to himself.

"OH MY GOD SHE TOOK MY PHOTO THAT DAY!?" Cody shrieked, cheeks red and furious. "It's bad enough I have a stalker that watches me shower, but she took my PHOTO? SHE HAS PHOTO'S OF MY-" He started to hyperventilate, Noah shoving his hand over Cody's mouth to stop him from finishing that sentence.

"We all find it equal parts hilarious and terrifying, yes, please don't go into any more detail!" Noah hissed, mortified. All the other contestants were either scared or laughing, most of the boys falling into the latter category.

"-But I have to keep my TD blogs current!" She grinned, typing.

"Zoey's even sweeter than she is on TV. Courtney is even..." She paused and looked at the camera, then looked up in thought. "Courtney-er than ever!" She settled on a description, pulling the phone back to her. "It's better this way, last time, I had a teensy bit of a problem with internet withdrawal."

"Teensy? She was using a pizza box and rat as a computer and mouse!" Noah said, angry.

"GUYS!" Justin burst into the room, everyone turning around to face the terrified Adonis of a teen.

"Oh my gosh, Joseph, you weren't even here and I didn't even notice!" Lindsay shrieked, surprised.

"Ignoring that blow to my ego, you all need to come quick to the pool, right now!" Justin sighed when Lindsay got his name wrong, but recovered and began pointing rapidly out the door.

"We're not supposed to leave until we finish the episode, gosh! Your stupid photo shoot can wait, or whatever it is!" Harold said, Leshawna nodding, along with the others.

"Producers orders!" Justin said. "And my photo shoots are not stupid!" Justin growled, pointing at himself. "I make more money than you could possibly imagine!"

"I thought your mother put your money in a trust fund." Dawn said, confused.

"How would you know what mommy did with my money?" Justin yelled at her.

"I saw it in your aura!" She smiled. "I know you're upset, but your mother wants what's best for you!"

"Ok, guys, I just got off the phone with my producers, and we have to get over there, pronto." Geoff shut his phone and placed it in his pockets. "They won't tell me why though."

"Oh yeah, because that's always a good sign with the producers." Noah said sarcastically.

"Well, we don't exactly have a choice, now do we?" Bridgette said, still slightly annoyed at the whole 'Noah gets his own chair' thing, while she had to sit on Geoff's lap because everyone else took a seat first. Not that she didn't like it, but she would like a seat that didn't move.

"Well, come on then, let's go meet our doom!" Izzy grinned, rushing out the door, dragging Owen off with her effortlessly, despite his heft.

"The cage will fail." Dawn said cryptically, getting up and following after Izzy and Owen.

"What does she mean 'the cage will fail'?" Beth said worriedly. "Should we be worried?"

"Oh don't worry Beth, Tyler will protect us!" Lindsay said, oblivious.

"Should someone wake the dude up?" Trent asked, poking Tyler, who was sound asleep.

"I say we let him rest. Poor guy's earned it." Leshawna walked out the door, Harold trailing behind like a puppy. "Too close, Harold." She pushed him away when he walked up closer.

"Sorry Leshawna, honey..." Harold said, hanging his head and giving a puppy dog pout.

"Oh fine, but no hugging in front of the others." Leshawna sighed, facepalming. "I hate when you use that cute puppy dog face."

"I know." Harold grinned cheekily, and Leshawna glared, blushing.

"Move it lovebirds, I'm not gonna be late because of you!" Eva shoved Leshawna out of the way, into Harold, who blushed heavily, Leshawna sputtering, walking past a worried Brick and DJ.

"What if it's a monster?" Brick asked DJ, then straightened up. "Not like, I'm, you know, scared. It's just it would be dangerous for the others, you know?"

"It's ok to be scared, Brick." DJ said, smiling weakly, he was scared too, but Brick needed someone to keep him from freaking out. "It's a definite possibility, yes."

"I have a theory, yah!" Staci was running to catch up with the others, running past the two scaredy-cats, falling behind Noah and Cody.

"Does it involve your imaginary ancestors inventing anything? Because if it is, I'm going back on my promise about the duct tape." Noah said, annoyed at the interruption.

"No!" Staci backed up, terrified at the prospect of being duct taped silent again. "Remember Ezekiel, yah?"

"How could you forget?" Cody said. "He's psycho!"

"I thought you were drugged during the African challenge." Noah said, turning to Cody.

"Reruns, duh." Cody said. "I didn't know I looked so handsome drugged up. You live and learn."

"Yeah, because being unconscious really makes me-girls more attracted to you." Noah said, slipping up and blushing, but no one seemed to have noticed. "Unless you know, you want a girl into that stuff."

"Any girl that isn't Sierra is good with me at this point!" Cody grinned.

"Guys? Ezekiel, like, blasted off towards our island, yah?" Staci interrupted their playful banter, stressed and scared. "Like, maybe he was blasted here!" She whispered loudly.

"You-you have a point!" Cody said, freezing up. "I don't want to be eaten!"

"Relax, stupid, he's not a cannibal, just an insane, feral, carnivorous former human." Noah said sarcastically, trying to calm Cody down, despite the seed of worry that Staci had planted. "Besides, the odds of him actually landing here out of all the places on the island are slim at best."

"I guess you're right." Cody said, smiling, catching up to the rest of the group, Justin, Geoff and Bridgette taking the lead.

"Ok, the producers said we should stay close together." Bridgette called out to everyone to get their attention.

"Because that makes me feel so much more confident!" Noah shouted from the back of the group.

"Suck it up, pansy!" Eva shouted back at him. "No offense!" She sheepishly added afterward, not wanting to offend one of her few friends.

"None taken." Noah smirked. Being friends with Eva meant taking a lot of crap, but it also meant having better protection than ten bodyguards combined.

"Guys, focus?" Geoff said, waving his hands.

"We need to work out like a buddy system or something. If the producers are warning us about something, we need to take that seriously!" Bridgette added. "I'll take Geoff."

"Big shocker." Trent smirked. "Hey, big guy, how's teaming up sound?" He turned to B, who seemed shocked that anyone was paying attention to him. B shrugged and gave a thumbs up. "Still silent, I see." Trent said frankly, and B smiled sheepishly and shrugged again.

"Beth, want to be in a group with me and Tyler?" Lindsay squealed happily, completely ignorant of the situation.

"Tyler's back in the TV room, but sure!" Beth squealed. As all the others paired up, it was clear that the couples had no interest in anyone but their boyfriend or girlfriend, leading to a clear split. A few groups had more than two, but it was mostly pairs.

By the end, the groups were sorted out, and Bridgette seemed to have taken charge. "Ok, so we have Anne Maria and Justin," Bridgette listed off, Anne Maria clinging to Justin flirtatiously, Justin so used to being fawned over that he wasn't even reacting. "B and Trent," B gave a thumbs up, and Trent followed suit. "Beth and Lindsay," She added, Beth and Lindsay were busy playing patty cake, and Beth turned her head when she heard her name.

"Bridgette, don't you think you're overreacting?" Beth asked, confused.

"Yeah, we're fine!" Anne Maria shouted.

"Well I'm sorry for being careful!" Bridgette huffed. "Whatever, just be prepared."

"We've got the mutant freak over there, we'll be fine!" Eva smirked, pointing to Dakota, who growled and shook her fist at Eva, who shrunk back. She might be headstrong, but Dakota was at least 10 feet tall, strong, and had sharp claws and teeth. She wasn't stupid.

"Eva watch mouth!" Dakota grumbled, but didn't do anything, much to the relief of Dawn, her partner.

"Let's get this over with!" Leshawna shouted, keeping Harold close by in case of emergencies.

"Ok, opening the door, sheesh!" Geoff said, nervously opening the door to the poolside area. "Woah." He said, shocked.

"What are you-" Bridgette asked, walking behind him, stopping when she saw what he saw. "How did he-" She said, shocked as well. As the others filed in behind, they let out equally shocked words, well, the ones who didn't hide behind B or Owen.

The scene was still rather chaotic, but it had clearly been cleaned up from something much worse. The pool was normal, but all of the pool toys had been shredded, and the awning over the pools little wading pool seats had a huge hole in it, one that was in the process of being patched up by interns. What had drawn their eye, however, was a huge cage that had been hastily brought in, judging by the scuff marks where it had been dragged in. It wasn't the cage, but who, or what was inside. A hideous green half human creature they knew as Ezekiel was knocked out cold, sleeping peacefully.

"I told you, yah!" Staci said, Noah and Cody cowering behind her.

"Calm down, calm down!" They recognized one of the producers, who stepped up to them. Geoff and Bridgette seemed extremely peeved to be seeing him. "We have him unconscious. He won't be waking up anytime soon." He smiled falsely, though no one was less scared, seeing as he had already proven that sleeping drugs didn't seem to affect him for very long. "We just figured you would be wanting to know why the indoor pool will be off limits for today and possibly longer."

"You could have ju-just announced it over the intercom!" Noah said, annoyed and terrified at the same time.

"I thought it would be funny to see your faces." The producer grinned cheekily, and it suddenly became clear exactly why Bridgette and Geoff were so pissed to see him. "Anyway, when Chris launched him across to our island, he landed there," he pointed to the patched up awning, "and was knocked out. He woke up and started to destroy the pool, before our interns captured him." He pointed to the two injured interns standing behind him.

"How come we didn't see this?" Cody asked, the others nodding.

"I was in a toilet for most of that, Cory." Lindsay said helpfully, earning a facepalm from Cody.

"You were watching the episode as it aired at 7:00 this evening, and as no one is allowed outside past 7:00 for safety reasons, you were not aware of this." The producer recited as if he knew Cody was going to ask that.

"Ok, so why aren't you doing something?" Geoff asked. "He has parents, you know."

"Legally, we can't give him back to his parents until he's rehabilitated, and as such, we have arranged for an insane asylum to take him in. We're not heartless." The producer explained, smirking.

"Could have fooled me." Geoff growled.

"Guys?" Bridgette said quietly, but loud enough to get everyone's attention. "He's waking up!"

"What?! That tranquilizer dart couldn't have worn off that quickly!" He nearly shouted, but managed to keep it quiet, seeing as Ezekiel was stirring from his slumber.

"I think the fact that he managed to get back into the plane after being hit by tranq balls proves he isn't affected by sleeping drugs. Why did you even use them, gosh!?" Harold piped up, Leshawna nodding in agreement.

"It was a quick solution and we had no time! Ask the intern who's bright idea it was to not restock the stronger tranquilizers!" He glared at a sheepish female intern.

"We didn't have time to reorder, we were busy with the preparations for the All Stars season!" She explained, earning an even fiercer glare from the producer.

"You know we need the tranquilizers for when there's any mutants that swim over from the island!" The producer yelled.

"I thought you guys fixed the island so there were no big ugly things." Lindsay said, the others agreeing.

"Uh, we did, it's just... We had some that survived decontamination!" The producer seemed panicked by this statement and quickly turned back to Ezekiel, who was finally awake. "Now would be a good time to get those tranquilizers you FORGOT TO GET airdropped before anything goes wrong!" He shouted at the intern, who scurried off.

"Um, producer guy, are we allowed to run, yah?" Staci asked.

"Don't worry, the cage is metal. Nothing short of toxic waste could burn through it." The producer said, clearly shaken, but calmly denying like all good producers do, but soon decided to leave the room. "I'll be back."

"Didn't Dawn say the cage will break?" Owen asked nervously.

"Cool!" Izzy had snuck over to the cage, entranced as Ezekiel attempted to claw at her. "Can I keep him?" She turned to the producer, who had already left. "Ok then, that's a yes!"

"GREAT BALLS OF FIRE, IZZY, GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Owen shrieked, promptly fainting. Those standing behind him quickly stepped out of the way, except for Justin, who was too busy staring at himself to get away.

"Help..." Justin gasped, crushed by Owen. Anne Maria gasped and pulled him away.

"I ain't letting no hot guy die on my watch!" Anne Maria yelled.

"Don't worry guys, he's totally harmless!" Izzy grinned, despite the fact that Ezekiel was gnawing on her hand.

"Yeah, he totally isn't a cannibal, Noah." Cody glared at him angrily.

"S-so I was wrong, sue me!" Noah ran over to Izzy, pulling on her other arm. "Not now, Ezekiel doesn't want to play!" Noah was used to Izzy getting too close to animals, but this was absolutely ridiculous. "Eva, a little help here!"

"Izzy, let the freaky thing go!" Eva walked over to Izzy, scorning her as if she was a small child.

"He's the one gnawing on her, Eva!" Noah whispered, still tugging fruitlessly at her arm, Izzy obliviously scratching Ezekiel behind the ears, who didn't stop gnawing on her, but seemed pleased, leg spazzing out like a dog.

"Shhh!" Eva whispered/yelled back, pulling Noah off Izzy. "Let me handle this." She smiled the most un-Eva smile any of them had ever seen, and turned to Izzy. "We can play with your friend tomorrow Izzy, now come on, Owen thinks you're dead." She pulled gently on Izzy's arm, and Izzy sighed and pulled her arm away from Ezekiel, who seemed disappointed.

"How...did you do that?" Noah asked weakly, as Eva walked Izzy away from the cage.

"It's all in the approach." She grinned.

"Woah, Eva's awesome!" Geoff whispered, earning an annoyed look from Bridgette. "I mean, not as awesome as you, of course!" He sheepishly added.

"Why aren't we doing anything?" Brick whispered to DJ from behind B.

"I don't know about you, but I'm staying right behind him until they get Zeke out of here!" DJ whispered back, B giving them the thumbs up to indicate that he'd be cool with that.

"Ok, you have a point, but I feel like I should be doing something!" Brick got up.

"What can you do?" DJ pulled him back. "I'm not losing a friend to Zeke!"

"Words that I never thought I'd hear about Zeke." Trent had to interject with a joke to lighten the scene.

"Omg, Justin!" Sadie fawned over a groaning Justin, Katie and Anne Maria also joining in.

"Yeah, you totally need to be more careful!" Anne Maria scolded. "No hot guy dies while Anne Maria is here!"

"I thought you were dating Vito!" Katie growled, not wanting any more competition. She already agreed to share Justin with Sadie, she did not need a third party in this affair.

"Eh, what he doesn't know won't hurt him." Anne Maria shrugged. "That's what my momma told me about her and dad, anyway." She seemed unaware of the odd looks Katie and Sadie were giving her. "Well come on, his percussion won't fix itself!"

"It's concussion, and I highly doubt he has one." Noah corrected.

"Percussion, concussion, tomato, tomato." Anne Maria shrugged.

"Guys, seriously, focus!" Bridgette shouted. "We're arguing when we should be doing something!" She pointed to the enraged Ezekiel, who was furiously gnawing at the steel bars of the cage.

"He's not going to chew through the bars any time soon, Bridge, and we can't really do anything about it. Everyone's just trying to stay chill." Geoff defended the others.

"I suggest standing exactly five steps to the left, Lindsay." Dawn walked up to Lindsay politely and motioned for her to move.

"Why, Daria?" Lindsay asked obliviously, Beth doing as Dawn said.

"Oh, Ezekiel's going to be spitting there in about a minute." Dawn smiled and Lindsay moved as soon as she said the word spit.

"Thanks, Daria!" Lindsay smiled. "Spit is really gross." Most of the girls nodded, including Dakota, who seemed to be disturbed by the thought of spit.

"What's the big deal, it's just spit." Eva said. "You girly girls take everything so seriously."

"Well, considering that he hasn't seen hide nor hair of a toothbrush in at least a year, I'd say his spit would be rather infectious, actually." Harold said, earning grossed out looks from everyone. "Gosh, I was just saying."

"Oh, it's about time." Dawn looked down, then stepped back as Ezekiel hissed and crouched as if preparing to pounce. Everyone else stepped back, farther away from the spot Dawn had indicated, prepared to run. He suddenly leaped forward and spat out a gob of spittle that burned through the steel bars of the cage, eating away a sizable hole through it. The spit landed directly on the spot Lindsay was a minute ago, eating away a dent into the concrete. Lindsay shrieked, as well as everyone else besides Dawn, who was eerily calm and didn't react.

"Ok, what the fuck!" Noah said, frozen in place by fear.

"Guys, don't move. Unless he comes closer, then move as fast as you can!" Geoff whispered, stepping in front of Bridgette protectively. Several other couples did the same, and Staci put her hand on the doorknob, ready to flee. Ezekiel sniffed at the air and leapt through the hole, Staci pushing the door open, not fleeing yet though, curious to what would happen. Ezekiel froze when he recognized Anne Maria, who backed up.

"Oh no, not again, I ain't doing this song and dance again!" She growled at Ezekiel, who suddenly whipped his head towards the beach. He turned back to Anne Maria, then the beach, then back again, seemingly torn. "What's he looking at?" She said suspiciously, looking at the beach. Ezekiel glared at the rest of them, hissed, then scampered away towards the beach, leaping into the water and swimming towards Wawahnakwa. "Where's he headed?"

"I... think he's going back to the island..." Trent looked confused and scared. "Huh."

"We have the-" The producer and the intern returned, the intern carrying a dart gun. The producer stopped when he saw the chaos that had unfolded while he was away. "How did he escape? Where is he now? WHY DIDN'T YOU DO SOMETHING!" He screamed at the teens, who shrugged, still kind of in shock at this entire sequence of events.

"In answer to your questions, in order; One, he spat a gob of toxic spit that melted through the bars, two, he started swimming towards Wawahnakwa, and three, we were too scared to touch him." Noah said, listing off reasons. "Plus, it all happened pretty fucking quick."

"Do you always swear this much while in mortal peril?" Cody turned to Noah, confused by Noah's more colorful vocabulary.

"Yes, yes I do." Noah said, annoyed.

"Ok, ok, ok, we just need to call up Chris and warn him. You kids, go back and finish the show." The producer said quickly, turning to the intern. "I said, call Chris!" He shouted, the intern scurrying off again.

"Have to watch?" Dakota asked the producer, who jumped back at her loud voice.

"Y-yes..." He mumbled, apparently not used to the gentle giant.

"Ok..." Everyone sighed.

"Ok, so when did he develop toxic spit anyway?" Leshawna complained as they walked back into the room, Tyler still sound asleep on the chair.

"I'd say it was the toxic waste. Just a couple hours turned Dakota into a mutant, so it stands to reason that the waste gave him that toxic spittle." Harold said helpfully, Dakota growling at the mention of the mines.

"Ooh, ooh, Owen, for Christmas, I want toxic spit too!" Izzy was riding on the revived Owen, who looked rather worried at the concept of Izzy with toxic powers.

"Are you sure you don't just want cookies?" Owen asked nervously.

"Ooh, ooh, toxic spit cookies?" She grinned.

"Sure, why not." Noah snarked, shooing Bridgette away from his chair. "No one sits on my chair but me, honey."

"Ugh, what is it with you and that chair?" Bridgette growled.

"You can still sit on my lap, babe!" Geoff grinned, and Bridgette sighed, smiling.

"Thanks, Geoff." She sat on his lap and kissed him.

"Has anyone seen the remote?" Cody asked, Trent shrugged, but B pulled a makeshift remote out of his pocket and smiled. "Thanks, B!" He pressed the button happily.

"Without this link to Cody Wody, I'd probably lose my mind!" Sierra giggled, throwing her hands up.

"The boats already sailed on that one, honey." Noah smirked.

"It sunk a long time ago." Cody looked humiliated.

"She called you Cody Wody!" Izzy grinned, giggling madly.

"Shut-shut up..." Cody mumbled, face red.

"Oh internet, never leave me!" Back in the cabins, she was caressing her phone, Zoey and Courtney looking confused.

"Room service, suckers!" Courtney and Zoey turned when they heard Chef's voice, and a bucket of gruel was tossed through the door.

"I almost forgot about the food there. Almost." Eva growled.

"Oh my gosh, Katie, remember how bad the food was?" Sadie frowned, still speaking in her peppy voice.

"Oh my gosh, yeah, being kicked out was so-o much better!" Katie grinned. "I, like, don't even mind not competing now!"

"What's wrong with you?" Courtney screamed, Chef having stuck his head in the door.

"Here's breakfast!" He grinned.

"Oh goodie, I was waiting for a reference to The Shining. No door hole is complete without it." Cody said.

"Wow, you've got a great impression of Fruitcake, you know that?" Eva smirked, Noah frowning.

"I was about to say that, you know." Noah said to Cody, annoyed.

"I know." Cody smirked.

"Thank you Chef!" Sierra grinned and waved, ignoring the sludge on her face.

"We've got to win the next challenge and get into that spa-hotel!" Courtney said to Zoey, swiping the gruel off her face. The camera panned down to the floor, where Sierra had picked up the sludge and eating it.

"True love sure does build up an appetite!" She smiled, Zoey and Courtney exchanging concerned glances.

"I don't remember her being this crazy, you know?" Trent said, frowning.

"Says the guy who went psycho in TDA." Izzy said, uncharacteristically sarcastic. "I mean, E-scope and I totally think you were totally bonkers!" She grinned and made circles with her finger.

"Shut up, that was an isolated incident." Trent frowned.

"Oh I am digging this." The camera switched over to the hotel, where Gwen and Scott were having breakfast at opposite ends of a long table. Scott grinned as the butler handed him sausages. "I can't wait to be a millionaire. I got up at five AM to watch the releasing of the doves, and I'm just gonna say it, it was beautiful." He sniffled, Duncan sitting down beside him.

"Are you kidding?" Noah groaned. "I get called back to TDWT and all I get is subpar freakin' airplane food, and these guys get this!"

"Dakota's daddy has better table." Dakota grumbled. "No see what big deal is."

"Yeah, this is the life!" Duncan agreed. "And if we keep winning challenges, we can live like this all season!" He smiled, while Scott grabbed his plate and ate off it without any utensils.

"Ok, does this guy know the meaning of the words 'table manners'?" Leshawna looked grossed out, most of the girls agreeing."He grew up on a farm, not a forest! I've seen better manners back in the projects!"

"To villainy!" Duncan raised a glass of orange juice, as did Scott, clinking glasses.

"Yeah, villainy..." Gwen moped, looking down at her pancakes.

"'Sup with you, dollface?" Duncan grinned.

"Wha-oh, uh, nothing, just, uh, y'know, wondering how Lightning's doing on Boney Island?" She looked up from her pancakes and stuttered, lying weakly.

"As if anyone cares." Noah said, annoyed. "I've got more important things to worry about, and so do you."

"Aww, Gabby's so sad..." Lindsay frowned, pouting.

The scene switches to stormy skies, lightning crackling as the camera panned down to Lightning, crouching on a rock and clutching a stick, determinedly scanning the water below him.

"Ok, I've noticed something. How does the weather on Boney Island differ so much from the main island?" Noah asked. "I always assumed Chris had a smoke machine set up, but the lightning seems to indicate it's real."

"You know what I've noticed, fruitcake?" Eva growled. "Your mouth, and how it isn't shut at this moment!"

A catfish swam by Lightning's rock, and he swung his stick into the water, sending the fish flying out of the water and landing on the beach

"Woah, dude, that's wicked!" Geoff gaped.

"Omg, Sadie, he's so cool!" Katie grinned, Sadie nodding in agreement.

"Please don't tell me he's gonna eat that, is he?" DJ shivered. "At least, is he going to cook it first?"

"I doubt the moron knows how to light a fire, even if you gave him a lighter." Noah said, annoyed.

"I don't blame him. Lighters are really complicated." Lindsay butted in. "You have to remember which way the lighter points and everything!"

"I'm amazed you've survived to this point, you know that?" Noah glared at her.

"Thanks!" Lindsay seemed unaware that that was an insult, smiling.

"My great great-" Staci began, before a grinning Izzy pulled a roll of duct tape out of her hair and waved it menacingly. Well, if you considered wildly juggling it menacing. "Sorry." Staci shrunk back.

"Ha, fish, you've been struck by Lightning!" Lightning grinned, as one of the monster geese that inhabited Boney Island flew by, grabbing the fish in its mouth.

"Dakota thought island was decon-con-tamin..." Dakota struggled to finish the long word. "-Clean." She settled on an appropriate synonym.

"Stymphalian Canadian Geese are actually native to Boney Island, and have been around for several centuries. They're no product of toxic waste, just beautiful birds that time forgot." Harold popped up behind Dakota, startling her, she reflexively punched the wall where he had been standing seconds ago, leaving a hole in the wall.

"Oh no you don't!" Lightning leapt off the rock and grabbed the other end of the fish, playing tug of war with the goose, the goose pulled him off camera, and he soon apparently triumphed, as he held the battered dead catfish in his hand, victorious. He whooped in victory, then ate the fish in one bite.

"That. Is. Rank." Bridgette gaped, most of the girls seemed to agree, hands over their mouths.

"Even I wouldn't eat that." Owen laughed, causing everyone to turn to him in disbelief. "What?"

"Dude, I once bet you five bucks to eat toilet paper, and I lost five bucks." Geoff said flatly. "Totally worth it though!" He grinned, laughing.

"Ok, maybe I would. But definitely not without ketchup." Owen smiled, embarrassed.

Lightning stood there smiling for a second, before his stomach gurgled in apparent displeasure. "Sha-dang, this fishy is swimming back upstream!" Lightning said, before his cheeks bulged and he ran behind a rock to puke.

"It never gets less gross, does it?" Bridgette looked like she was going to puke as well.

"Nope, I've thrown a ton of great parties, and l can tell you, it doesn't matter how many times you've seen Brad Jameson puke his guts out after drinking too much spiked punch, it never gets less gross." Geoff smiled obliviously, while Bridgette seemed to calm down.

"I just hope Lightning doesn't find the invincibility statue, if we don't vote him off soon, he'll be too strong for us to beat later!" Jo put down her platter of steaks, talking to the others.

"I sure hope he doesn't. I don't know how much more Sha-bullshit I can take!" Eva growled.

"Uh, you do realize if he's voted off, he'll be coming here, right?" Leshawna said, the others nodding. "Then you'll have to deal with it in real life, not TV."

"I guess..." Eva groaned.

"So maybe we should do it right away..." Scott stroked his chin in contemplation. "Throw the next challenge."

"Yes, because it worked so-o well last time." Noah said sarcastically.

"It did? I thought he was eaten by a shark because of that." Lindsay said, finger on her chin in thought

"My poof has more brains in it than you." Anne Maria glared, spraying said poof vigorously with a hairspray can.

"Ooh, ooh, can it do my homework?" Lindsay asked excitedly.

"Sure, blondie, it's a whiz at algebra." Anne Maria said, sarcastically.

"Yay!" Lindsay clapped her hands happily, Anne Maria gaping.

"Pfft, and give up all this?" Jo said, gesturing around her. "No way!"

"True 'nough, this is sweet!" Scott grinned. "You know what I slept on last night?"

Geoff held his breath, struggling to contain himself. "Must resist..." He finally, however blurted out. "THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!" He sighed in relief, most of the guys snickering.

"A pillow! Filled with feathers!" Scott squealed. "Back on the farm, it's a burlap sack filled with small animals."

"Remember what I said about not living in a forest? I'm not so sure anymore." Leshawna said, mildly disturbed.

"What kind of life is life without pillows?" Izzy gasped. "No pillow fights that escalate into pillow wars? No pillow forts?" She sniveled, almost brought to tears.

"He has pillows, Izzy." Eva said, calming her down. "Vermin infested ones, but pillows."

"You ever have a pillow bite your face?" Scott glared.

"Oooh, no, but I want to now!" Izzy grinned.

"I'd like to enjoy my breakfast now. And that will require you to stop talking." Jo said, fork holding up a steak.

The camera cut away to the spa hotel's massage table, where Alejandro was getting a massage from a female intern, Heather sitting nearby.

"Ok, seriously?" Noah groaned. "I should have waited a season, this one's much less evil!"

"Oh. My. God. Katie, he's in a speedo!" Sadie squealed, blushing, several girls squealing as well.

"I totally wanna be that intern right now, Sadie!" Katie grinned, lost in her fantasy.

"Quit hogging the masseuse!" Heather complained.

"Huh..." Alejandro sighed. "I'm sure her hands are magical, if only I could feel them."

"Seriously? Your legs are still asleep?" Heather looked suspiciously at Alejandro.

"I don't know if they'll ever wake up." He looked up at Heather, eyebrows covered in tape, it was clear he'd used the time at the spa entirely on washing up. "I was squashed into that robot suit for an entire year, which you would have known had you ever texted me!"

"Oooh, lovers' quarrel!" Izzy grinned, pulling a handful of popcorn out of her hair. Owen looked at her pleadingly, and she handed him a handful too.

"I doubt he had a phone anyway." Trent said, annoyed.

"It's not like you ever texted me!" Heather got up in his face, but paused. "Are you getting your eyebrows waxed?" She looked confused. "Wow..."

"Ooh, someone else who appreciates the finer aspects of bodily grooming!" Justin grinned, suddenly interested in the show again.

"They call it manscaping because it is very manly." Alejandro explained. "And I didn't text you because I was trapped in a robot suit!"

"So you don't even have a point, and you're a dumb girly girl guy!" Eva growled.

"Well... Ugh...Whatever!" Heather ripped off Alejandro's waxing tape, and the camera cut outside the hotel as his scream rang out.

Confessionals:

"Puh-lease, this 'my legs don't work' thing is obviously bogus, he just wants sympathy!" Heather glared. "But news flash, I am not falling for him-it... not falling for it!" She looked panicked.

"I have never found Heather to be more radiant!" Alejandro grabbed his hair. "Her glossy locks, her perma-frown, the way the hair on her upper lip catches the light when she yells at me!" He paused. realizing how odd that sounded. "Keep in mind, I was in a robot suit for a year."

"Awww, they still have a crush on each other!" Katie swooned.

"That is sooo sweet!" Sadie said, but paused. "In a mean, nasty, evil sort of way, anyway."

"I dunno about you, but I find this more disturbing than sweet." Noah frowned. "Kind of Stockholm's-ish, actually."

"Oooh, is that when you think you're like, Sherman Homes?" Lindsay asked.

"Stockholm's, not Sherlock Holmes." Harold said. "Stockholms is when a hostage develops sympathy for their captor."

"Attention Campers, It's challenge time!" Chris's voice came over the intercom. "Get your hiney's over to the beach, pronto!" Heather and Alejandro both looked up.

"Shall I fetch the baby carriage?" Heather smirked, rolling her eyes, but gaped when Alejandro simply walked on his hands instead. "Show off!" She huffed.

"Remember what Gwen said about how guys shouldn't be that flexible? I agree." Leshawna said.

The camera cut to the beach, the teams on two platforms, minus Lightning and Sam. Gwen climbed up on the villains platform, and Duncan winked at her, only to be not noticed. "Ooh, somebody's invisible!" Chris grinned."Huh huh, harsh!" He laughed. "TV couples, is it ever a good idea?"

"I dunno, you and Chef seem pretty happy." Noah smirked.

A horn honked as the former boat of losers sped by, Lightning jumping onto the platform and doing flips in midair. "Any luck finding the invincibility statue?" Scott prodded Lightning.

"No need, I am an invincibility statue!" Lightning said smugly.

Confessionals:

"He is so arrogant!" Alejandro complained. "I might understand it if he had this face, but he does not have this face." He pointed to himself.

"Pot calling the kettle black much?" Trent smirked.

"Arrogant?" Lightning scoffed, apparently overhearing Alejandro's confessional. "Be fair now, look at me." He flexed. "Sha-yeah!"

"Ok, I'll give him that he's got the body, but the brains are severely lacking." Bridgette said.

"Yeah!" Geoff laughed, an ice cream truck jingle playing. "Ooh, ice cream!" He looked up, Owen leaping out of his chair..

"We don't have an ice cream truck, Owen." Noah motioned for Owen to sit down.

"Oh, you caught me!" Izzy grinned, putting the kazoo she'd been using back in her bra.

"Bonjour, mes campers!" Chris announced to the beach, wearing a beret and what appeared to be an ascot. "Some of you will recall our Season 3 Parisian 'Find and Build a Sculpture' debacle."

"I lost my good shoe to that." Noah complained.

"Well, this time, our interns have buried 3d puzzle pieces all over the beach." Chris proclaimed, the camera panning over said beach as Sam stumbled onto the platform area.

"Seven pieces per team, find all your pieces and assemble them on your platform to recreate one of the landmarks visited on our world tour. First to finish, wins." Chris explained, the camera cutting to Sam, white from blood loss, stumbling onto the platform.

"Sean doesn't look so good..." Lindsay said sadly.

"I hope he's ok..." Beth muttered.

"Sam!" Dakota said, frightened. Dawn quickly moved over to comfort her before anything was destroyed.

"Sam?" Zoey asked, confused and concerned. "You ok?"

"Ugh... Feeling... Woozy, ki-kind of drained a little-a lot..." Sam explained, falling onto Cameron. "Not sure why..."

"Ok, that mutant mosquito is evil." Cody said.

"Since the Villainous Vultures won the first challenge, they get to dig with shovels." Chris explained. "Incoming!" He called to Chef, who tossed the shovels from the Boat of Losers.

"Ok, so what do the heroes get, sand castle buckets?" Owen asked.

"If they're lucky." Noah said.

The shovels flew through the air, Duncan caught his, as did Jo, but Scott was hit in the face with his. Gwen covered her eyes in fear, only to have Lightning hand her a shovel. "Sha-yoink!" He grinned, catching the remaining two shovels without looking.

"Um, shovel please!" Heather walked up to Lightning, annoyed.

"Nuh-uh, I need both!" He said, looking at one shovel. "When this one gets tired, I'll use this one!" The camera cut to Gwen as a sharp thwack was heard, Heather walking off with a shovel, leaving Lightning with a shovel shaped dent in his face, falling over.

"Hey, where are our shove-AH!" Sam walked off the platform, falling onto the sand. "Ugh...AH!" He screamed as the sand beneath him collapsed.

"Duuu-uude, sick!" Geoff laughed, earning a glare from both Bridgette and Dakota. "Sorry, sorry."

"And getting on and off your platforms will be challenging, due to the moats." Chris explained, Jo poking the sand with her shovel. "That are filled with-" Chris began.

"Agh! Crustaceans!" Sam crawled out of the pit, only to be dragged back in by said crabs.

"Ok, that's just mean." Beth glared.

"Sam!-" Dakota screamed, before Dawn rubbed her hand soothingly.

"It's ok, Dakota, it's ok, Sam is safe now. The show aired an hour ago, he's fine..." Dawn smiled, Dakota smiling back.

"Dawn is new buh-fuh-fuh?" Dakota asked, Dawn nodding.

"I'm beginning to wonder if letting Dakota watch is a bad idea..." Noah said, pointing to the hole in the wall.

"I don't know why, but it gets funnier every time." Chris giggled.

"No big thing for Light-oh-ning!" Lightning laughed, jumping off the platform. "Sha-bam-AH!" He landed safely, only to have a board spring up, launching him into the pit.

"I knew it was looking too safe." Leshawna said.

"And you might wanna watch out for booby traps in the sand." Chris laughed again.

"What are we supposed to dig with?" Mike asked, confused.

"Sorry, shovels are for winners only." Chris said, smirking. "I guess you'll have to use your hands. Your challenge starts now!" He pulled out an air horn, blasting it.

"We should divide our area into sections, and each dig in one!" Zoey suggested, the Hamsters in a huddle.

"No, let's separate the beach into quadrants and each pick a quadrant!" The camera shifted to focus on Courtney.

"Those are the same thing, gosh!" Harold scoffed.

"Yeah, but Courtney says it so much prettier!" Justin swooned.

"That's exactly what Zoey said." The camera switched to Cameron, who was looking at her confused.

"Then.. good! We'll use the plan that Zoey and I came up with!" Courtney said, annoyed.

"Go team!" Zoey put her hand in the center, all the others soon following with the same words, except for Courtney, who glared.

"Ugh... Yeah yeah yeah, can we start digging now?" She grumbled.

"Wow, what's with the attitude?" Anne Maria scoffed, spraying her hair arrogantly. "What?" She looked genuinely confused when the others gave her odd looks.

Confessional:

"What's with the lovin'? Hello, it's called Total Drama, not Total Friendship!" Courtney complained.

"Remind me again why she's on the heroes side, and not Gwen?" Cody glared, clearly still bitter.

"Because she has better lawyers?" Noah smirked.

"Strategy people, Stra-te-gy!" Jo complained, talking to the other Villains. "We should start from one end, and dig to the other one in a straight line!"

"She's good at taking charge." Brick grinned goofily.

"Wow, you really like Jane, don't you!" Lindsay smiled.

"No-no way!" Brick said, blushing.

"Oh, ok." Lindsay smiled, seemingly satisfied. "Cause it looked like-"

"It wasn't." Brick's face was tomato red, biting his lip.

"And what if the pieces are all at the far end, huh, huh?!" Heather growled. "We need two lines that push towards the center."

"She does have the better plan, Brick." Trent said, earning a little huff from the cadet.

"Right, guys?" She called out to the other villains, who seemed to ignore her.

"Ain't nobody telling Lightning where to dig!" Lightning ran past them. "I'm my own man!" He began to 'dig' in the ocean.

Confessionals:

"Sometimes when my tummy's empty, my mind ain't full." Lightning explained, pointing to his head.

"You must be pretty hungry a lot, then." Noah glared. "Can someone explain how jarhead almost won last season?"

"Stupid Boney Island fish!" Lightning said, before his cheeks bulged and the screen cuts.

"I can't believe Lightning made it to last season's finale! Does he ever sha-shut up?" Gwen said, annoyed. The screen cuts back to Lightning puking into the toilet.

"Ulp." Bridgette sighed, covering her mouth.

"You ok babe?" Geoff asked, to which Bridgette nodded.

"Eheheheheheh-wheeee!" Sierra was already digging away, panting like a mad dog. The others were not so enthusiastic, Cameron having uncovered a beeping red light. He touched it tentatively, sending him flying as the bomb exploded, clothes flying everywhere.

"Hey, that's my detonating duffle bag design!" Brick growled.

"Looks like Chris learned something from you." Noah smirked. "Great job, cadet, you gave Chris a new explosive weapon. He really needed one."

"How did he find out anyway, I only taught Lightning, Sam and Scott that trick..." Brick scratched his head.

"He has cameras everywhere, genius." Eva growled.

"Eww, Chef's dirty laundry!" Chris grinned, pinching his nose as Cameron pulled a piece of underwear off his face. "Pretty stinky!" He laughed as the underwear flew by.

Cameron gasped as he spotted a fedora on the ground. Grinning, he walked over to Mike. "Here, we could use some of Manitoba Smith's treasure hunting skills right about now." He placed the fedora on Mike's head, causing Mike to gasp.

"Ok, so now he's Mississippi, right?" Lindsay asked tentatively.

"Yah, he's got the fedora on." Staci grinned.

Manitoba stood up, grinning, he dove into the sand, arms spinning like a wheel, sending the ground into tremors. He came up seconds later with a piece of the puzzle in his hands. "G'day, beauty!" He said as he tossed the piece up onto the platform.

"Wow, Manitoba has mad skills!" Harold gaped.

"How in the hell did he do that?" Noah added. "I mean, that's just... Wow."

The camera panned down to Zoey, who was digging away at the dirt. Manitoba walked up to Zoey and sat down. "Phew, looks like the real treasure is right here beside me!" He laughed, winking awkwardly. "Wink-wink."

"Ok, even I'm better at flirting than he is." Geoff laughed.

"Says the guy who compared me to your friends mom." Bridgette smirked.

"You haven't met Evan's mom. She's like, the hottest lady over 30 I've ever seen... I mean, not as hot as you, babe." Geoff began, but quickly corrected himself when Bridgette gave him an odd look.

"Fine. We'll work in a circular motion, towards the center." Heather attempted to compromise.

"No, start with the corners, then move to the center, and zigzag!" Jo countered.

"They're still on this?" Trent asked.

"Jo doesn't stop arguing until she's won." Brick sighed. "I should know."

"Some team." Gwen sighed, annoyed.

"Exactly!" Heather shouted. "And a team without a leader is like a horse without a head, it just runs around, blind."

"I'm pretty sure a horse without a head, doesn't run anywhere." Gwen countered.

"Agreed, which is why I should be this teams leader!" Jo smirked, completely ignoring what Gwen meant.

"No, I should!" Heather yelled.

"Let's let the team decide." Jo grinned.

"Fine!" Heather screamed, and they walked off, each calling for different teammates.

"Rrgh... I give up-woah!" Gwen growled, before tripping and falling at Alejandro's feet.

"I hope you know that I appreciate your efforts." Alejandro smirked. "You are as wise as your skin is translucent." He gazed into her eyes.

"Wow, less than a day out of the robot suit and he's back to his old tricks." Noah glared. "You'd think he'd learn his lesson."

Confessionals:

"I know he's evil, but... Oof, those eyes!" Gwen swooned as the confessional cut to Lightning puking again.

"Attention team!" Jo called out to the rest of the villains. "I am your leader!"

"I know you'd like her to be your leader!" Izzy poked Brick's chest, causing him to blush.

"Hey, no I wouldn't! She's got no team spirit whatsoever!" Brick huffed.

"Then why are you blushing?" Owen asked. "Are you hot or something?"

"I am not blushing!" Brick yelled, his face betraying him by flushing a deeper crimson.

"Are too!" Izzy poked him.

"Are not!" He called back, the two continued arguing this until Trent stepped between them.

"You totally are, dude." Trent said to Brick.

"Sh-shut up..." Brick said meekly.

"No, I am!" The camera panned to Heather, standing at the opposite end. She pushed her shovel back into the sand, hitting something. "I found a piece!" She dug it out.

"You'd never have found it without me!" Jo ran over, grabbing the piece, the two tugged at it, until Heather dropped it, landing on Jo's foot. "Ah!"

"Oops, sorry." Heather smirked, until Jo pushed her into the crustacean pit. "Ouch!" She screamed.

"Two booby traps, two puzzle pieces, and two deliciously evil moats! It's still anyone's game, but it won't be for long, right here on Total Drama All Stars!" Chris announced, the camera panning out as he announced the title and they cut for commercials.

"I'm gonna go get popcorn." Cody announced. "And Noah's not getting any!" He grinned.

"Oh come on, are you still not over that?" Noah glared.

"Nope!" Cody smirked, blowing a raspberry at Noah.

"Ok, what are you, five?" Noah groaned as Cody left the room.

"An hour has passed and the teams are still tied, one/all." As the commercials ended, the camera cut to a close up of Chris, who whispered. "Which raises a pertinent question," He added, still whispering. "WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG!" He screamed.

"We don't have shovels!" Zoey yelled back, the others having similar complaints, except for Lightning, who could be heard shouting "I'm amazing!"

"Blahblablah, whine whine whine, hurry up!" Chris complained. "I have dinner plans!" He shouted, Cameron walking by, accidentally triggering a platform that sent him flying.

"Who would want to date him?" Cody grinned, having returned from the kitchen with popcorn.

"Oh come on, just one?" Noah attempted to reach the popcorn bowl, which was just out of his reach.

"Sweet, buttery revenge." Cody grinned.

"Woooah!" Cameron screamed, Scott laughed at him until Cameron fell on top of him, sending him skidding. Cameron got up and ran off, leaving Scott behind. When Scott got up, he saw he had uncovered a piece of the puzzle.

"Alright!" He grinned, the camera cutting to the piece being tossed up.

"And that's two for the villains!" Chris announced.

The camera cut to Zoey attempting to lift an uncovered piece unsuccessfully, until Manitoba ran over. "That's alright sweetheart, don't strain yourself, allow me!" He smirked, and began to pull at the piece instead.

"Well, if you insist..." Zoey smiled, slightly touched. Suddenly, a cannon appeared out of the sand, Manitoba ducking as it shot out a boxing glove, which flew off and hit Courtney into the crustacean pit, making her scream and run out of the pit.

"Yes!" Gwen exclaimed, pulling out a piece of the villains puzzle. "Got one!" She shouted.

"Way to go Gwen-" Duncan walked over, triggering another trap that threw sand in his face, causing Gwen to giggle.

"Finally!" Jo found a piece, holding it up.

"Lightning to the rescue!" Lightning grabbed the piece from Jo's hands. "Way to go me!"

"Hey!" Brick shouted.

"Hey!" Jo shouted. "Come back here with that!"

"Is there an echo in here?" Lindsay asked

"Check it out guys, I found-" Sam walked up with a piece of the puzzle, only to have a pole come up and hit him right in the groin. "-another one!" His voice turned squeaky.

"Oooouch..." Geoff winced, as did all the other guys, some covering their crotch.

"Man, that's gotta hurt." Trent said, wincing as well.

"Nuts?" Chris grinned and offered Chef a bowl of cashews, clearly waiting for something like that to happen.

"Ha, too small for Lightning!" Lightning uncovered a piece of the puzzle, only to toss it away, hitting Jo and sending her into the crab moat.

"Another!" Manitoba tossed the head of the statue up onto the platform. "It's like taking vegemite from a rube!" He bragged to Zoey. "I could show you how sometime." He smiled.

"Heh, no thanks, with Mike maybe." She walked off.

"Yup, she's a loyal one! Mike knows how to pick 'em." Manitoba grinned, following after her.

The camera cut to Gwen, who was digging, only to hit another trap, which shot water up like a geyser. Chef and Chris fist bumped at her annoyed expression.

"I think Chris is controlling the traps." Beth said.

"Makes sense." Noah shrugged, having managed to sneak a popcorn mouthful, much to Cody's displeasure.

Lightning carried two pieces on his arms, throwing them up with the others. "Aren't you beautiful!" He said to his biceps, kissing them. "Look at gorgeous you!" He said to the other. "Sexy beast!"

"He makes Justin look modest." Bridgette frowned.

"His narcissism is a disturbing cry for attention due to his father's neglect." Dawn commented.

Scott stepped over the line between the two sides, whistling innocently. He poked in the sand for a piece, then, when he hit one, began to dig it up and place it on the villains side. "Heheheheheh." He snickered, covering the piece up.

"What are you up to, kookaburra?" Manitoba stepped over to him, eyeing Scott suspiciously.

"Whatever do you mean?" Scott denied smugly as Manitoba got in his face.

Manitoba glared and stuck his finger in his mouth, then touched the sand where Scott had buried the treasure.

"How does he know that it's there?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"He's licking his finger so he can test how cold the sand is. Colder and wetter sand is more likely to have been freshly turned over." Harold explained. "They teach you how to do it in the Muskrat Boys."

"I don't get it..." Lindsay sighed.

Manitoba licked his finger again, narrowing his eyes, he pulled out the hidden puzzle piece. "Ha!" He laughed, pulling Scott closer by his t-shirt. "Nice try, you wily dingo!" He smirked. Scott stepped back, pressing a hidden pressure pad in the sand, releasing a swarm of bees.

"Bees... BEES!" Scott screamed, turning around, he accidentally whacked Manitoba with his shovel, sending him falling into the dirt. The screen zoomed in on Manitoba, revealing the inside of his mind, where the other personalities appeared to be playing cards. The room was mainly pink brain matter, with a large picture of Mike adorning a wall..

"How are we seeing inside his mind?" Noah asked, confused.

"I dunno..." Owen added. "They saw inside my dreams too..."

"Is Owen always naked in his dreams?" Izzy grinned, jumping on Owen's back.

"Don't answer that!" Noah said quickly, disturbed. "Let's drop the subject!"

"Ok!" Owen smiled, as everyone breathed a sigh of relief

"Go vith the fishing!" Svetlana stood up, triumphant.

"Ey yo, it's go fish, not 'fishing'!" Vito smirked.

"Eee! Vito!" Anne Maria squealed. "I miss you!" She shouted to the TV.

Manitoba suddenly fell from the ceiling, the other personalities scared. "Aw, that can't be good..." Chester sighed.

"Hey, do you feel that?..." Manitoba began. "The Malevolent One... He's coming!" He announced, the other personalities shrieking as they turned to the portrait of Mike, which quickly burned away to a shadowy picture of Mike, with hair drooped over one eye and an evil smirk.

Dawn was in the middle of pouring tea for Dakota when she saw this turn of events. Her blue eyes widened and her pupils shrunk, dropping the pitcher of tea. "Oh no..." She whispered, freezing up.

"Creepy girl!" Eva grabbed her, shaking her back and forth. "WHAT. IS. GOING. ON?!" She yelled, but Dawn stayed frozen in place. "Great, we broke the only person who knows what's going on around here!"

"This is just weird..." Noah shivered. "That picture of Mike is really giving me the chills..."

"Me too..." Cody added.

"What do we do?" Beth said, scared. "Do we call someone?"

"The show's already aired, I'm sure someone's aware of what's going on." Bridgette said.

"Mike, Miike!" Zoey's voice could be heard as the camera panned into the picture, fading to the real Mike's unconscious face. "Oh please be ok, Mike!" She said, scared, kneeling beside Mike.

"Ughh, my head..." Mike groaned, rubbing his head, he began to get up.

"No, stop, you need to rest!" Zoey said, concerned.

"No, I'm ok..." Mike said, grabbing his fedora. "C'mon, we got to go back to digging..." He put the fedora on as he walked away, Scott still running from the bees in the background. "Huh, weird, I can't find Manitoba..."

"I'm worried about Mike..." Bridgette said. "He could have a concussion, and with Dawn not talking, we don't know what's going on."

"I could talk to the producers if you want, Bridge." Geoff pulled out his phone.

"That would be nice." Bridgette pecked him on the cheek, and Geoff smiled, dialing the producers, he got up and walked to a corner of the room..

"What are we gonna do with the statue over here?" Eva pointed to the still frozen in place Dawn.

"Buh-fuh-fuh not moving..." Dakota said, scared, poking Dawn.

"I don't know why she's so spooked." Lindsay said. "I don't know what the word manelovant means either..."

"It's malevolent, and it means evil." Harold corrected.

"That's not the question I'm asking, I'm asking what we do with creepy girl!" Eva growled at Harold.

"I just got off the phone with the producer..." Geoff walked back to Bridgette, perturbed.

"Ok, so what did the producers say?" Bridgette asked Geoff.

"They said they know what's going on..." He said. "But they don't plan to do anything due to the drama it will stir up to let this one sit." He glared, sitting down when Bridgette moved over to let him.

"They really don't care, do they?" Bridgette huffed.

The screen cut to Heather watching Alejandro, who had dug up another piece. His leg suddenly twitched, and Heather gasped. "Aha, I knew he was faking it!" She grinned, only for a crab to crawl out from under his leg, revealing it to be the reason it moved.

"So he really can't move his legs..." Noah said. "Serves the jerk right."

"Noah, are you really the only one not concerned with this whole Malevolent thing?" Bridgette glared.

"It's not that I'm not concerned, it's that I couldn't do anything even if I was there." Noah shrugged. "It's clearly a mental battle, maybe Mike's finally snapped, maybe not, but since I, unlike the producers, cannot see into his mind..." Noah snuck a handful from the unattended bowl of popcorn, since Cody was busy poking at Dawn. "...I have no way of helping." He finished.

"Still, you could stand to be a little more caring." Bridgette said.

"I don't do 'caring'." Noah sighed.

"Oh..." Heather said sadly, as the crab glared at Alejandro, pinching his foot. Alejandro seemed to have not noticed, yawning.

"Hey, Leggy Mclatin, nice accessory!" Jo laughed, as Alejandro noticed the crab, he quickly smashed the crustacean with his shovel.

Confessionals:

"His legs are really asleep?" Heather said. "Great, now I feel awful." She crossed her arms.

"It took all I had to hold in that scream till no one was looking." Alejandro smirked, a hint of laughter in his voice. The camera cut to him holding his breath, screaming into the hole he had dug. The camera cut back to the confessional, where Alejandro had stood up. "Cha-cha-cha... Surprise!" Alejandro smirked.

"Of course!" Bridgette complained.

"That sneaky bastard, the one time I think he actually gets his just desserts, and he is faking it!" Noah yelled, well, as close as he got to yelling, which was relatively low key.

Cameron struggled to carry the puzzle piece he had uncovered, walking by the hole that Sierra had dug. "Sierra! What are you doing?" He called down to her. "You're like twenty feet deep!"

The camera panned down to show that she was indeed deep in the ground, apparently having never stopped digging. "Guess I got carried away, hehehe, I was pretending I was digging for Cody!" She laughed sheepishly, jumping out of the hole

"Ok, at least I know who to call if I'm ever buried alive." Cody walked back to his seat, grabbing the popcorn bowl back from Noah.

"Evil...Evil is coming..." Dawn appeared to have woken up from her trance, shivering. She sat down on the floor and wouldn't stop shaking.

"I think we got that, sugar." Leshawna said comfortingly, although with a hint of annoyance. "Can you tell me what's gonna happen?"

"Sinking islands and reset buttons." Dawn said cryptically, but refused to say anything else.

"How many pieces do we have now?" Sierra asked Cameron.

"I don't know, maybe we shou-AH!" Cameron began, before Sierra tossed him along with his piece up onto the platform. When he landed, he counted the puzzle pieces. "We've got six out of seven pieces!"

"You guys start working on the puzzle!" Zoey said, walking up with Mike, who had abandoned the fedora. "We'll keep digging." She turned to Mike.

"Ugh.. Ugh... yeah, good plan, just gotta catch my breath-AH!" Sam was collapsed on the beach, voice having returned to normal. He heaved, but suddenly a platform sprung up and catapulted him into a boat, he bounced off and fell into the ocean.

"When we did our safety test, that boat wasn't there." Chris said innocently, hiding a smirk.

"Like you ever do safety tests." Noah glared.

"As if we test these things." Chef grinned, both of them snickering.

"AGH!" Sam popped out of the water, jellyfish flying off him. "JELLYFISH!" He ran out of the water, clutching his butt. "It stung my butt!" He ran past the other campers, who laughed. "Ow-ow-ow-ow!"

"Part of me is laughing, but I've been stung by jellyfish before." Bridgette said, covering her smile with her hand. "The only immediate cure is peeing on it." She sighed. "That was not a fun trip to the beach."

"Gross!" Leshawna said, recoiling. "We did not need to hear that!"

Most of the villains laughed, and surprisingly, so did Mike. "Heheheheheh!" Mike doubled over with laughter.

"How can you laugh?" Zoey folded her arms angrily.

"Something about this doesn't seem like Mocha-Bean." Leshawna said suspiciously.

"Cause..." Mike giggled. "The only cure for a jellyfish sting is to pee on it!" Sam ran back to the water, screaming.

"Not the only cure, actually." Harold said. "Just the most effective immediate cure."

Sam leapt back into the water, which quickly turned yellow, Sam bobbing to the surface, relieved.

"Gross!" Lindsay shrieked, clutching her head.

"Hey, if I had to chose between dying and peeing on myself, I'd choose pee." Geoff defended Sam. "It's not like you can't take a bath."

"Sometimes I wonder why I love you." Bridgette smirked, but Geoff quickly shut her up with a kiss. "Oh yeah, that's why." She grinned.

"Ewww." Zoey said, disgusted.

Confessional:

"Well no one else was gonna pee on me..." Sam said defensively, then paused. "Hehehehe, huh... that is a weird sentence." He laughed.

"A book, a crown, what the heck are we supposed to be building?" Cameron said. "Wait, I got it, these pieces make the statue of liberty!" He said triumphantly.

"That's seven!" Lightning pulled up a piece of the puzzle. "Let's start sha-building!" Lightning ran past Alejandro and Gwen, who quickly followed. Lightning leaped up to the platform with little effort, Alejandro leaping, but failing to make it, his body made a bridge.

"Coming through!" Jo smirked, walking over Alejandro, the others following, most adding something similar. Only Gwen apologized for using him as an impromptu bridge, however. Alejandro growled, only to have a crab pinch his nose.

"Come on people!" Heather commanded. "Put this thing together already!" She threw up her arms in annoyance.

"I don't see you helping, princess demandy-pants!" Leshawna glared.

"Try those two together!" Alejandro told Duncan. "No, those two!"

"Lightning finds the final piece!" Lightning congratulated himself, posing. "I'm a hero!" He paused. "It's probably a statue of me!" He posed in a heroic manner. "Being me!"

"Yes, because you totally look like the Big Ben." Noah snarked.

"It's tall, whatever it is." Gwen said, the camera panning over the statue. "And boxy, like a tower... oh, Big Ben!" She announced to the others.

"One piece to go, it must be in Sam's quadrant!" Zoey announced as the team looked over the near finished Lady Liberty.

"Sorry guys, I'm moving as fast as I can!" Sam said, crawling along the ground, clearly still winded from all the abuse he'd been put through.

"All we need is the torch!" Cameron said. "Hurry!"

"Anyone notice how Sierra's swooning over Cameron?" Trent said, having been comforting Dawn the whole time.

"Maybe she'll stop stalking me and go for him!" Cody said happily.

"Would you really wish that fate upon him?" Noah frowned.

"Better him than me!" Cody smiled, then paused. "I mean, no..." He said, whistling innocently.

"What's with the big hole?" Heather complained, seeing that Big Ben was missing it's face.

"Maybe we put it together wrong..." Gwen said.

"Oh come on, just get it sha-done!" Lightning grabbed a crab, placing it where the clock would be. The crab snapped it's claws, causing the whole thing to collapse.

"Way to go, Liability!" Jo glared.

"I don't think we need to bet on who's going home tonight." Trent smirked.

"Aw hell no!" Eva growled. "That means I'll have to deal with what's his face all season!"

"We'll all have to deal with it." Noah groaned. "Assuming the villains lose, that is."

"Hey, it's not my fault you put it together wrong." Lightning said defensively.

"We didn't put it together wrong, there are only six pieces!" Alejandro yelled.

"Great. So Lightning miscounted." Jo picked up her shovel. "Come on everyone, we've still got digging to do."

"I counted seven!" Lightning yelled. "This is a conspiracy!"

"Yeah, a conspiracy of bad counting!" Heather yelled back, Jo fishing out the last piece from Heather's pit.

"Oh yeah!" She pulled out the clock face. Zoey and Mike shoved Sam from the spot he collapsed on, uncovering their final piece.

"The torch!" Zoey grinned. As the others encouraged her, she tossed the final piece, which landed safely on their statue, revealing the complete Lady Liberty.

"The Heroic Hamsters win!" Chris announced, the villains still completing their puzzle again.

"Spa hotel, spa hotel!" Courtney, Cameron and Sierra yelled, Cameron being lifted like a doll by Cameron.

"Yay! Sam no go home!" Dakota cheered, hands scraping the ceiling as she raised them in celebration.

"Ahem, I do require a volunteer for exile duty!" Chris interrupted.

"This one's on me, guys, to make up for my lack of digging skills an-AH!" Sam smiled, only to have Chef grab him by his collar and drag him on the Boat of Losers. The boat set off, him sadly standing there.

"Wow, I can't believe he just offered himself up." Geoff said. "Dude's got guts!"

"Sam amazing! Dakota worried he no make it..." Dakota smiled, but quickly sighed sadly.

"He offered himself because he wasn't working hard enough when he wasn't working hard because he was DRAINED OF BLOOD!" Noah gaped.

"Gotta say, Dakota, you know how to pick 'em." Leshawna smiled. "He'll be fine, I'm sure." She lied reassuringly.

"Hey Courtney..." Gwen walked up to Courtney apologetically. "I just wanted to say congrats on wi-WOAH!" She shouted, having pressed another booby trap, it sent a garbage bag flying up into the air. Gwen quickly slammed her shovel into the garbage bag, sending it flying into Courtney. Courtney coughed, having rotten watermelon on her face. "That was an accident, I didn't mean to-" She said panicked, only to have Chris clap sarcastically.

"Gwen, Gwen, Gwen..." He smirked. "So evil. You are definitely on the right team."

"Oh come on!" Cody shrieked, throwing his hands up.

"I think he is rigging those up." Bridgette said suspiciously. "I wouldn't put it past him."

"Anyone want to bet on the elimination?" Trent said.

"What's the point?" Harold said. "Logically, the only one worth voting off is-" He began, only to have the doors thrown open.

"Lightning has arrived!" Lightning walked in, still sopping wet from the toilet.

"I thought you were supposed to wait until after the show!" Eva yelled at him.

"Man, you guys took way too long to watch the episode."Lightning shrugged dismissively. "Besides, dude, I couldn't let you guys live without the miracle of the sha-Lightning!" He posed dramatically, Eva threateningly gesturing, clearly about to erupt.

"Well, that ruins any suspense." Noah glared.

"I think Jenny's gonna be eliminated." Lindsay smiled obliviously. "What?" She said, everyone gaping at her.

"Anyway, continue." Lightning said dismissively, looking around for a seat, he apparently didn't see the sleeping Tyler, sitting down on him.

"AGH!" Tyler shrieked, being awoken rudely. "Five more minute-wait, what?" He pushed Lightning off of him. "Dude, not cool!"

"Tyler, you're awake!" Lindsay grinned, glomping him enthusiastically.

"Can we at least finish the episode?" Noah said, snatching the makeshift remote away from B, who glared but did not say anything.

"Welcome Hamsters, sit back, enjoy the show." Chris said to the heroes, who were sitting comfortably in the peanut gallery. "Vultures, it's time for you to vote off your first villain." He turned to the villains, who were all glaring at one another, besides Gwen.

The camera suddenly cut to Mike, or, what seemed to be Mike. His hair had dropped down to cover one eye, and the one that wasn't covered had dark rings around it. "One by one, they will all fall." His voice had turned deeper, and had a reverberating effect to it, the fire behind him crackling.

"Ok, can I panic now?" Cody asked Noah.

"Ok... Yeah, this is sufficiently freaky as all hell." Noah shivered, eyes wide.

"O-M-G, Sadie, his voice is so hot!" Katie squealed. "But he's kind of scary."

"I know, right?" Sadie said, clearly worried.

"Huh?" The camera cut to Zoey, who seemed confused by Mike's statement. "Did you say something, Mike?"

"Ah, no, just sitting here." Mike gasped, smiling innocently.

Confessionals:

"Lightning cost us the challenge, but Jo's annoying." Duncan put one hand up, then the other. "Tough call."

"Hey..." Brick said defensively.

"Ugh, I don't know who to vote for. They're all evil!" Gwen said, annoyed.

"The following players are safe for another day." Chris announced, holding the cards out. "Duncan, Gwen, Scott, Alejandro and Heather." He tossed the marshmallows to the last two. "Lightning, you're on the chopping block for your crummy math skills, and incessant bicep kissing"

"The vote was sha-rigged!" Lightning said. "No way did Lightning miscount!"

"Yeah, you did, brainiac!" Eva growled.

"Nuhuh, I didn't!" Lightning said.

"Did to!" Eva called back. "And if you don't wanna lose to a girl for the second time today, you're gonna shut up!"

"I have not lost to a girl today! I lost to Jo!" Lightning growled. "Besides, you're not a girl either!"

"OH THAT IS IT, LET ME AT HIM!" Eva lunged, Dakota grabbing her arm and holding her back.

"No, Eva, bad." She scolded Eva like a puppy.

"He left Sam frozen in the ice challenge, remember?" Eva said to Dakota, who quickly let go.

"Guys! Can the fight wait till after we finish watching?" Bridgette stood between the two.

"Fine, but I'll be back." Eva growled.

"If they were yours, you'd do it too!" Lightning smirked, kissing both biceps.

"And Jo, you're on the block for your annoyingly pushy campaign to send Lightning home." Chris finished, Jo glaring at him.

"You did what?" Lightning got up in her face, Jo smirking.

"And tonight's loser is..." Chris said, both looking up. After the usual tense camera flashes, Jo glaring, and Lightning kissing his biceps. "Lightning!" He flicked away the last card, revealing Lightning's photo had a huge X across it.

"Sha-what?" Lightning said.

"The vote was rigged." He glared.

"Tossing away your strongest team member!" The camera cut to the Flush of Shame, Lightning sitting inside. "You're gonna regret this!" He pointed. "Especially you, Jo, you're a total sha-AAAGH!" Before Lightning was able to finish cussing Jo out, Chris pressed the flush button.

"Family show people, family show." Chris smirked. "Who else is in line for a porcelain goodbye?" He said. "Find out next time on Total Drama All Stars!" He concluded, the camera panning to a shot of the island.

"Ok, now where was I?" Eva said, lunging for Lightning's throat.

"Sha-ouch!" Lightning shrieked.

"Shouldn't we do something?" Bridgette asked.

"Yeah, we should." Trent said. "Ten bucks says Eva wins!" He tossed down a ten dollar bill.

"Oh you are on!" Geoff said, tossing his own five dollar bill.

"Boys." Bridgette huffed.

"My money's on captain brainiac." Leshawna added.

"As if!" Bridgette suddenly changed her tune. "Eva's gonna strangle him!" She tossed down two bucks.

"Like hell she is!" Leshawna countered with her own two dollars.

"Sha-help!" Lightning screamed, but no one did anything.

AN; So concludes another episode. Who won the battle? I think we all know who, but toss your opinion in your review. If you're wondering how they can see into Mike's mind, I don't know. It's just essential to the plot to believe that they can. So just don't think too hard XD. So yeah, there will be some more out of show moments like the Ezekiel scenes, but they will always tie back into the show watching thing. If you don't like them, they're easy to skip.