A/N: I already know what people are going to say 'oh she's a Mary sue!" that's the whole point. I still only own new characters and events and make no money from writing, all rights go to the rightful owners. Also, I am going to have Eric's hair short, I just can't stand 'long greasy hair' it makes me want to vomit and I will not write a character like that.
I sat beside the boy with dirty blonde hair and pale green eyes. "Hello, my names Will" he introduced himself.
"My names Alessa and that is Christina and Tris" I said as I pointed to each of them in turn. Four still was giving me a weird look.
Eric sat beside Christina and looked at us all, an awkward silence ate up our conversation. I already felt awkward that Four was giving me looks because he thinks I called him my baby. I found that thought repulsing.
"Well, aren't you going to introduce me?" It seemed like a normal question but I know it isn't, Eric motions to me, Chrissy, and Tris.
"That's Tris" he began, "Christina, and Alyssa"
"It's Alessa" I sneered, I hated when people got my name wrong.
"What candor?"
"I said my name is Alessa not Alyssa you idiot. If you forgot such a simple name already maybe that's why Eric is a dauntless leader instead of you. I've been told about you, I don't think they really want you. They would've tried harder by now"
"Initiate, calm down" Eric was smiling, not just a smirk but a full blown smile. I felt awkward but also proud.
Will leaned down, "Do you want to die already?" I could feel him smiling though.
"Maybe" I kept myself in the conversation but wasn't paying complete attention. Tris didn't talk much. But when she finally did it definitely sparked my interest.
"It must be because you're so approachable" she turns to him with a dead expression, my eyes go wide, "You know. Like a bed of nails." She says flatly. Oh shit. I'm not the only one with a death wish.
They stare at each other, battling for dominance like they had reverted back to their basic instincts. Will leaned down and whispered, "When do you think they'll kiss?" he was smirking and stifling laughter. I faked a smile but my stomach sunk. I don't know why. Christina heard, she looks sympathetic. I also don't know why.
After minutes Four says "Be careful Tris" she blushes, she's pale so the bright pink looks odd on her. Another dauntless at a different tables calls Four over, once he leaves Christina laughs.
"I have a theory."
"And it is?" Tris asks, her eyebrows raised in confusion.
She picks up her hamburger and grins, "That" she motions to both of us, managing to flick mustard on Will in the process, "Both of you have a death wish."
Four disappeared and Eric leads us down a few hallways, Chrissy was on my side and Tris on my other. Peter was a few people the left of Tris with Molly and Drew. Even though we were here together I knew it would be as though I was alone. The shuffling of feet and bodies moved people from their original spots, Tris was in front of me and Chrissy was in front of her.
We walk on uneven ground, blue lamps are positioned at the end of each hallway making misting the halls in hazy blue light. It was surreal and other worldly.
Tris stumbled and tripped a lot, either grabbing onto Chrissy or falling into my arms, it was easy to catch her. She was so light, like a feather. I was use to catching my brother when he wanted to sneak out. I was use to holding up my father when he had too much to drink, he was a burly man. I was used to doing a lot of things that would help me here in dauntless, I just realized that.
Eric stops in front of a wooden door and folds his arms. We shuffle forward and gather around him.
"For those of you who don't know my name is Eric," he says as he looks us over. "I am one of the five leaders of dauntless. We take the initiation process very serious here, so I volunteered to oversee most of your training." I didn't mind that, they might be seeking out weak links, possible problems, or potential leadership. Well, actually, I did mind that. I was a possible problem. I was a divergent. Was even thinking that word dangerous? Can people read minds here?
"Some ground rules," he says. "You have to be in the training room by eight o'clock every day. Training takes place every day from eight to six, with a break for lunch. You are free to do whatever you like after six. You will also get some time off between each stage of initiation." I can do this, I make it. I can do what I want without my mother breathing down my neck.
"You are only permitted to leave the compound when accompanied by a Dauntless," he adds in a sterner voice. "Behind this door is the room where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks. You will notice that there are ten beds, the perfect amount" He smirks. It was rather cruel of him to smirk at that, we started with twelve.
"But we started with twelve," Chrissy looks shocked, I understand why. It's horrible. I think of the girl who didn't make it to the roof. Tris shuts her eyes and purses her eyes, what is she thinking?
"There is always at least one transfer who doesn't make it to the compound," says Eric, picking at his cuticles. He shrugs. "Anyway, in the first stage of initiation, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born initiates separate, but that doesn't mean you are evaluated separately. At the end of initiation, your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless-born initiates. And they are better than you are already. So I expect—"
"Rankings?" asks the mousy-haired Erudite girl to my right. "Why are we ranked?"
Eric smiles, and in the blue light, his smile looks wicked, like it was cut into his face with a knife. It was a smile I saw on my brothers' face when he hurt someone, would I become like them? Was choosing dauntless wrong?
"Your ranking serves two purposes," he says. "The first is that it determines the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few desirable positions available."
My heart drops, I don't like where this is going. My breath catches in my throat as he starts again.
"The second purpose," he says, "is that only the top ten initiates are made members."
My stomach is churning and I feel faint, angry, and like I'm going to puke. Everyone stands still, some with wide eyes and others with scared expressions. Everyone knew the dauntless initiation was the hardest, but we didn't know this.
Christina is the first to regain her composure, "What?"
"There are eleven Dauntless-borns, and ten of you," Eric continues. "Four initiates will be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the final test."
I have to secure a place at the top, I have to be good. Maybe not too good, I don't know what divergents were. Were we better than others? Would I be better than the others? I was scared. But I would make it. I looked to Chrissy who was looking to me then Tris, Tris was staring at Eric
"What do we do if we're cut?" Peter asks, he had moved closer to us. He gave me a worried look, his protective eyes shining. He didn't have to protect me anymore. I was going to prove that to him.
"You leave the dauntless compound," says Eric indifferently, "and live factionless."
The mousy haired erudite girl clamps her hand over her mouth and stifles a sob. I remember once when I skipped school with Peter, Molly, and Drew, not by choice obviously, we ran by the factionless sector of the city. They didn't pay them any mind but I saw babies and children playing in the dirt, some with scrapes and bruises and looking barely fed. Older Abnegation were handing out clothes and food.
I didn't want to depend on someone for my survival. I wanted to thrive on my own, I wanted to be able to protect myself. I wanted to be dauntless. I would be dauntless.
"But that's…not fair!" Molly nearly yells Even though she sounds angry, she looks terrified. "If we had known—" she began but was cut off.
"Are you saying that if you had known this before the Choosing Ceremony, you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?" Eric snaps. "Because if that's the case, you should get out now. If you are really one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail. And if it does, you are a coward." Eric pushes the door to the dormitory open.
"You chose us," he says. "Now we have to choose you."
"So, we choose beds now?" Chrissy asks once Eric leaves.
"I guess so."
"Well, they're bunk beds so…uh…Tris can have bottom bunk and I'll take top. You can take the bottom next to ours and Will can take the tops." Chrissy concluded.
"Ah man, I wanted the top bunk" I pouted.
"And I wanted the bottom, I move in my sleep so just in case I take a tumble I don't want to have too far to fall." Will laughed.
"Actually, she'll be sleeping over by me." Peter sneered at Christina as he grabbed my wrist and tried to drag me away.
"She doesn't have to, I think she'd rather sleep with her friends not some boy who's claimed her." Will pulled me back, it surprised Peter so he lost his grip.
"Some boy?" he laughed, "You're gonna regret that."
"Will, you just made a big mistake." Chrissy and I said at once.
Two dauntless, one male and one female, brought clothes and two keys for us. One key for the best at the end of our bunk where clothes and shoes could be held and one key for the smaller chest that was nailed to the wall by our bunk. It was for our personal items.
Christina and I showered while Peter stood guard, fully clothed of course. I shuddered at the thought. Nasty. I've seen my brothers' thighs, way too hairy. I finished and I now smelled fresh and like cinnamon. Peter clapped a hand over his eyes and handed me a towel, I dried myself then dressed in one of the set of pajamas I was given. It was a cropped black shirt and very short black shorts, everything was black here.
"Be careful." He said as I passed, I gave him a tight hug before exiting the shower area and getting into bed. I unlocked the chest at the end of my bunk and stuffed my towel in before relocking it.
I flopped back and covered up with the rough blanket. Soon enough everyone had settled into bed. It wasn't easy but after a few hours I fell into an uneasy sleep.
I swear it felt like I only blinked but I knew it had been a few hours. I strained to see who the crying was coming from, I saw a few people but none of them could produce a cry this loud. Then my eyes settled on the initiate I believed was named Al. I jumped from my bed and landed with a soft thump, I stretched letting out a soft moan. Tris looked down at me, she had heard the crying too. She had dried tear stains on her cheeks. "I got this" I mouthed.
I crept over to him and sat beside him, a few minutes into conversation and he was no longer crying. "If it'll make you feel better I'll stay here until you fall asleep." I offered a small smile, he nodded.
"Please." I sat on his bed, he took up almost all of it. I laid my bed against the pole that traveled up to the next bed. The next thing I knew was darkness.