A/N: I own nothing except new characters and make no money from writing, all rights go to the rightful owners. Outfits can be found on Polyvore.
I wake before the others, my back aches and the side of my head hurts. I look to my side to see Al sleeping rather peacefully, I stand and stretch before using the bathroom. I peed before cleaning my face and brushing my short hair, it stuck out at odd angles. Peter woke up next, he smiled as he saw me.
"How'd you sleep?" he asked, "I didn't hear you crying." I was tougher than that, being around our parents constituted that.
"Pretty good, I'm pretty stiff though. My head hurts." It was throbbing, it was stupid of me to fall asleep that way.
"I'll have them give you something," he went on with his business once we heard the other initiates being woken up. I quickly dressed in the chosen outfit, Tris let me know which one they told us to dress in.
"You the one with the headache?" Eric walked up to me with a small pill in his hand, I nodded and he handed it to me. "I take it you know how to take one?"
"I take it you didn't bring me water" I looked at the pill, it didn't look any different from the ones we had in candor. I was relieved that I wasn't being poisoned for having a headache.
"Get to breakfast, they'll have plenty of juices down there. You'll need it, these are stronger so they leave a bitter taste in your mouth." He smirked.
"Ah, gross." I grumbled, I slipped the pill in my pocket and walked back to my bed. I slipped on my crescent moon necklace and pulled on my boots. No one would be able to tell the necklace was from candor, it was black with a silver chain, something simple. I've seen similar things around other dauntless members' necks, although this was one of a kind. Peter had bought it when he had visited a high end shop back in candor, I wasn't actually sure if he bought it or stole it but I thought it was sweet. We use to watch the moon and stars as kids, Peter had something similar.
I wasn't used to wearing all leather, it was body gripping. The cropped pants showed my freckled stomach. I felt so plain, I had my usual make-up on but other than that I didn't look like much of anything.
"You look distraught." I nearly peed myself, it was Eric.
"I don't like how plain I look, especially compared to everyone else here. I mean, I'm okay looking but uh, yeah. Stupid thinking I guess."
"Come with me" he said, his voice turned soft but stern. "I felt that but coming to dauntless gave me the chance to change myself but still look like myself. Ya know?"
"Yeah, I think." I half smiled.
Minutes later I was sitting in a metal chair with a metal needle being stuck through the top of my naval, it didn't hurt like the man said. I think his name was Bud.
"So, which jewelry little miss?" he asked as he held up a glass case of multicolored metal curved jewelry. I chose the one that looked like a bat, I read about them in my biology book. I always thought they were cute. "Nice choice." He smirked.
"She's off limits Bud" Eric growled, I was thankful for that. But I also hoped that didn't mean he liked me, I shuddered at the thought.
I walked down to the cafeteria with a skip in my step, I liked the piercing quite a lot. It was cute. I popped my pill and ate a muffin. Chrissy, Will, Al, and Tris freaked out about my naval piercing while Four continued to give me strange looks, it was like he was trying to decipher something.
Tris smiled, she seemed a little happier today. Although the skin under her doe eyes was a little puffy and pink, it made her look more innocent.
"THE FIRST THING you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight." Four presses a gun into my hand, his eyes bore into mine and my eyes narrow on instinct, he keeps the eye contact for no less than a minute before he keeps walking. His stare is calculating, almost cold. "Thankfully, if you are here, you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that." I suppress a yawn, we were only allowed 5 minutes to eat breakfast then we were herded up here, I wasn't surprised by it. The dauntless were ruthless, expecting us to get right to work after having roughly 5 hours of sleep wasn't the worst thing they were going to do. I was thankful the energy shot I drank was starting to work, I wasn't used to waking up this early.
"Initiation is divided in to three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your ran k over time." I look over the gun in my hand, I've held one once. Molly and Drew had me flirt with a dauntless who had one, he let us each hold it. It wasn't heavy but wasn't light either.
"We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear," says Four. "Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stag e is primarily physical; the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental." "But what…" my brother yawns through his words, I have a feeling he shouldn't have done that. "What does firing a gun have to do with…bravery?" Four flips the gun in his hand, presses the barrel to his forehead, and clicks a bullet into place. My heart dropped, was I about to witness my brother's death?
I lurched forward but Chrissy grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, "He won't kill him." She whispered in a soft voice, I watched as Peter froze with his lips parted, the yawn dead in his mouth. "Wake. Up," Four snaps. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it." He lowers the gun. Peter glances at me then his eyes harden, his cheeks are red from embarrassment. He would do well here. "And to answer your question…you are far less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're prepared to defend yourself." Four stops walking at the end of the row and turns on his heel. "This is also information you may need later in stage one. So, watch me." He faces the wall with the targets on it, they're squares of plywood with three red circles on the front. There is one for each of us. He stands with his feet apart, holds the gun in both hands, and fires. The bang is so loud I can feel it in my bones.
I look past Tris who was trying her hardest to see the target. The bullet went through the middle circle, splintering the wood. I turn to my own target. My mother would slap my arms with a metal ruler until my form was correct. She fix my form for hours, not letting me even hold the gun until I had it right. I bitterly smile, she was a woman that demanded perfection because she craved it herself. I set my feet shoulder-width apart, and wrapped both hands around the handle of the gun. It's not heavy so it's easy to lift away from my body. I recall the how far Four held it away from himself and try to copy him, the smacking creating a stinging memory in my mind. I squeeze the trigger, the recoil wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but I felt the jolt go through every muscle and bone in my body.
I smile, I liked firing guns. I was buzzing with this new feeling, I had gotten a similar one when Bud pierced my naval. I looked at the plywood, the bullet went through the second circle. "Nice job. Not many are that good on their first try" Four says as he walks by. I continue shooting, each bullet hitting the target and filling me with this new feeling.
I turned, Tris hasn't made hit the target yet and she's gone through three clips. "Statistically speaking," Will says, grinning at Tris, "you should have hit the target at least once by now, even by accident." His erudite is showing a little too much. I look at his target, it has several holes, not all in the red circles though.
"Is that so," she says flatly. "Yeah," he says. "I think you're actually defying nature." she grits her teeth and turns toward the target, maybe she actually hit it this time.
She looks like she's about to jump back like every other time but instead she stays planted to the ground, she hit the target too. Hm, she does better when she's taunted? "So you see, I'm right. The stats don't lie," he says. She smile a little, I watch her as she continues to shoot at the target. Sometimes she hits it but sometimes she misses, was it weird that I had yet to miss? After five more clips I fix her form, her feet were too close and her arms were too far apart and she was holding the gun too far and holding it wrong, when she shoots again she hits the center of the target and nearly explodes. She must feel it too, the raw energy and electricity pumping through your veins. Heart racing and laughs bubbling but you have to fight to keep them down.
After a few hours pass we break for lunch, I knew my arms should be throbbing but the pill Eric gave me really worked. Tris and a few others looked to be in pain. Chrissy invites Al to sit with us, he smiles at me as he sits beside Will. I move my rice around with my fork, my thoughts drift to the aptitude test. I was different and that wasn't safe, there were people who wanted me dead. Was it easy to tell if someone was divergent or not, how would someone know? Was it my freckles? Was Tris divergent, she left early too did that mean something? I needed to find Tori.
"Oh, come on. You don't remember me?" Chrissy asks Al, it broke me from my thought. "We were in Math together just a few days ago. And I am not a quiet person."
"I slept through Math most of the time," He replies. "It was first hour!"
"I remember you! I woke you up once because you fell asleep on the end of term test and drooled all over it." I laughed, his face turned beat red.
"I didn't think you were paying attention" he manages a small laugh.
"Tris" Christina turns and snaps in front of Tris' face. She jumps and almost falls off the bench.
"What is it?"
"I asked if you remember ever taking a class with me," she says. "I mean, no offense, but I probably wouldn't remember if you did. All the Abnegation looked the same to me. I mean, they still do, but now you're not one of them." Tris just stares at her with a blank expression, even I know that's rude. "Sorry, am I being rude?" she asks. "I'm used to just saying whatever is on my mind. Mom used to say that politeness is deception in pretty packaging."
"I think that's why our factions don't usually associate with each other," Tris says, with a short laugh, it sounds a little too forced but cute either way. Kind of like the baby ducks Peter and I would feed at the pond when we were kids. Candor and Abnegation don't hate each other the way Erudite and Abnegation do, but they avoid each other. Candor's real problem is with Amity. Those who seek peace above all else, they say, will always deceive to keep the water calm.
"Can I sit here?" asks Will, he taps the table with his finger. Where else would he be asking to sit?
"What, you don't want to hang out with your erudite buddies?" Chrissy raises a brow as she looks up at him, something flashes in her eyes the same look I've seen some girls give boys back at school.
"They aren't my buddies," says Will, setting his plate down. "Just because we were in the same faction doesn't mean we get along. Plus, Edward and Myra are dating, and I would rather not be the third wheel." I turn to look, Edward and Myra sit closest to each other but the other erudite transfers sit almost as close. How can they deal with that? I might've gone crazy if my faction transfers demanded we be that close. Myra pauses to kiss Edward, I feel uncomfortable. I feel wrong, like I always do.
I feel a bubble of pain in my chest, what's wrong with me?
Edward turns his head and presses his lips to Myra's, I feel nothing. I've asked Chrissy to explain the feeling of a kiss and the feeling of seeing someone else kiss during a game. I didn't feel like that.
I look to my side when I hear Tris' sharp intake of breath. Part of me waits for them to be scolded. "Do they have to be so public?" she says, she sounds more confused than anything.
"She just kissed him." Al frowns at her. When he frowns, his thick furry eyebrows touch his eyelashes. "It's not like they're stripping naked." That would make it so much worse, I make a sour face and he laughs.
"A kiss is not something you do in public." They all smile at her, even I do. Not a normal smile, a knowing smile, almost taunting.
"What?" she says.
"Your Abnegation is showing," Christy says. "The rest of us are all right with a little affection in public."
"Oh." She shrugs. "Well…I guess I'll have to get over it, then."
"Or you can stay frigid," Will grins, his green eyes glinting with mischief. "You know. If you want." Chrissy hides her smile and throws a roll at him, he catches it and bites a piece off.
"Don't be mean to her," she says. "Frigidity is in her nature. Sort of like being a know-it-all is in yours."
"I am not frigid!" she exclaims, her voice is high and her face is bright pink. I can't help but laugh.
"Don't worry about it," says Will. "It's endearing. Look, you're red." Her eyes widen and the bright pink flushes darker. Soon everyone's laughing, even Tris. It feels so good to laugh after the built up tension of the past few days. We laugh until there's no sound and we're gasping for breath.
Once lunch finishes Four gathers us and leads us into a new room. It's huge, with a wood floor that is cracked and creaky and has a large circle painted in the middle. On the left wall is a chalkboard. I smile, my lower level teachers used those. Most of my good memories were from when I was younger.
I puffed my cheeks as I saw our names going down it in alphabetical order, our ranks would be placed there I'm guessing. Hanging at three-foot intervals along one end of the room are faded black punching bags, they looked heavy. Four has us line up behind them and then stands in the front of them so we can all see him, Peter has been keeping his distance but also making sure he can always see me. He smiles at me encouragingly and mouths something I don't understand.
"As I said this morning," says Four, "next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges —which you will need, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless." It's hard to think this part wouldn't be the hardest, I straightened myself. "We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other," says Four. "So I recommend that you pay attention. Those who don't learn fast will get hurt." Four names a few different punches, demonstrating each one as he does, first against the air and then against the punching bag. I watch his movements and match his, thinking of the punishments I would get if my form wasn't good enough to my mother. Even though she wasn't here she had burned herself into my brain, into my memory and not in a good way.
I find it all quite easy after a few minutes, my skin stung as it made contact with the bag. I was glad that I made the bag swing, I worked with the bag, moving fast, hitting and kicking when I could. It was hard to move in leather pants but I'm guessing we would learn how to make it work.
I feel like I'm floating but buzzing, I've never felt better. Four walks around, inspecting us and instructing us. He stops in front of me, he still has a calculating look but it's faded now. "Good form, a fair amount of muscle, keep this up and it'll build." He moved to Tris, his eyes softened.
"You don't have much muscle," he says, "which means you're better off using your knees and elbows. You can put more power behind them." Suddenly he presses a hand to her stomach. His fingers are so long that, though the heel of his hand touches one side of her rib cage, his fingertips still touch the other side. She stares at him wide eyed, I've seen that look before. I don't know why but suddenly I feel nauseas, my heart drops down into my churning stomach.
"Never forget to keep tension here," he says in a quiet voice. Four lifts his hand and keeps walking. Although she tries to suppress it she smiles, her cheeks highlighted with light pink.
Finally Four dismisses us for dinner, I shrug on my jacket and Chrissy loops her arm with mine. She nudges Tris with her elbow. "I'm surprised he didn't break you in half," she says as she wrinkles her nose. "He scares the hell out of me. It's that quiet voice he uses."
"Yeah. He's…" she looks over my shoulder at him, I didn't. I saw the way her eyes lit up and the dusting of pink that appeared on her cheeks when she did, I felt sick again. "…definitely intimidating," she finally says, she doesn't mean it though.
Al, who was in front of us, turns around once we reach the Pit and announces in a goofy voice, "I want to get a tattoo."
From behind us Will asks, "A tattoo of what?"
"I don't know." Al laughs. "I just want to feel like I've actually left the old faction. Stop crying about it." No one responds but I step forward and lay my head on his shoulder, "I know you've heard me."
"Yeah, learn to quiet down, will you?" Christina pokes Al's thick arm. "I think you're right. We're half in, half out right now. If we want all the way in, we should look the part." She gives Tris a look, we all know she won't do anything.
"No. I will not cut my hair," she says, "or dye it a strange color. Or pierce my face."
"How about your bellybutton?" Chrissy says.
"Or your nipples?" Will says with a snort. I blush as Tris groans. Would that hurt? Or feel good? Or both? Hm.
Training is done for the day meaning initiates can do whatever they want to do, every dauntless was given a certain amount of points each month, the points carried over each month if they were unused.
We stick to each other as we make our way through the crowd, the Pit was swarming with people whose clothes were the only dark things about them. I liked that.
Chrissy's eyes widen once she spots a clothing store, she announces that we girls will meet All and Will at the tattoo parlor and drags us toward the clothing place, its name is 'Dark as Dauntless'
We walk up the path, stumbling at times and scattering loose stones with our shoes. "What is wrong with my clothes?" Tris grumbles. "I'm not wearing gray anymore."
"They're ugly and gigantic." Tris sighs in response, when Chrissy decided to help you there was no changing her mind. "Will you just let me help you? If you don't like what I put you in, you never have to wear it again, I promise." Ten minutes later Tris stand in front of a mirror in the clothing place wearing a knee length black dress. The skirt isn't full, but it isn't stuck to her thighs either—unlike the first few Chrissy and I picked out.
Chrissy slips the tie from Tris' hair and she shakes it out of its braid so it hangs wavy over her shoulders, it smells of lavender. Then she holds up a black pencil. "Eyeliner," she says then she holds up a black tube, "Mascara"
"You aren't going to be able to make me pretty, you know." She looks up as Chrissy runs the eyeliner on her top and bottom water liner then brush over her lashes.
"Tris, you're gorgeous. Shut up" I huff, she looks surprised.
"Who care s about pretty? I'm going for noticeable." Chrissy comments.
Tris turns slowly and looks in the mirror as Chrissy hands her a bare of heeled boots. She slips them on, my heart rate speeds up. "You truly look so beautiful Tris. To me anyway."
"No one has ever told me that." She looked lost in thought. I grabbed my dress and shoes we checked out with the clerk, she smiled and wished us luck with training. We would need it.
I watched as Al got his tattoo done, I had just got mine done on my thigh. The boys got awkward, I had to strip off my pants while Bud tattooed me. It didn't bother me, it stung but other than that there wasn't much pain. "A tattoo and a piercing in one day?" Bud smiled, "Really fitting in with the dauntless crowd"
"I know, surprising" I joked, Tris was off talking to Tori. She looked over at us with an uneasy expression, was she divergent? I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and busied myself looking at other tattoos, slowly getting closer to them. But they went behind a curtain, silence followed them. She got a tattoo. It surprised me but it was something small, something delicate like the way she looked.
Thanks for reading, review maybe?