"We've got Movie Sign!" Cody's voice rang out, marking the second time in one day. although this time at a reasonable hour.
"So, what did the producers say?" Geoff asked his girlfriend eagerly, smiling.
"They said that they 'had the situation under control'." Bridgette looked extremely annoyed, air quoting the last statement in a mocking voice.
"Well maybe they do?" Geoff suggested hopefully.
"They didn't have a backup plan for when the Total Drama Jet ran out of fuel, I doubt they know what to do with a psycho on the lose." Noah butted into their conversation.
"Dude, you're not helping!" Geoff whispered angrily to Noah, who shrugged.
"Ugh, why do I even bother!" Bridgette stormed off, Geoff chasing after her.
"Hello world!" Cody suddenly burst into the room, strutting to his seat and whistling. "The Code-meister is in the house!"
"Ugh." Noah rolled his eyes. "I thought you dropped that in season 1."
"I don't know, I'm feeling it again." Cody grinned.
"Let me guess, this is about that Gwen thing, isn't it." Noah asked, annoyed.
"You know it!" Cody smiled again, clicking his tongue. Noah groaned and covered his face with his hands.
"Cody, I don't think Gwen and Duncan's breakup is something to be happy about." Beth butted in, sitting nearby with another bowl of popcorn.
"I don't know, I'm feeling pretty good." Cody shrugged. "Look," He smiled weakly. "I've been waiting for Gwen for a long time, ok?"
"And if you keep acting like a jerk, it'll be even longer." Beth scolded. "Want some popcorn?" She suddenly added, smiling and handing him a handful of popcorn.
"Don't encourage him." Noah groaned. "He's been acting like this ever since we watched the show."
"And you've been hanging out with him that whole time?" Eva smirked.
"He's my friend. Who else am I going to hang out with, Izz-" Noah shrugged, but stopped as he suddenly felt that he was being watched, and turned around to find Izzy standing right behind him, smiling widely. He jumped up in surprise. "Gah, Izzy!"
"Hi Nono!" Izzy waved happily, creepy grin still plastered on her face.
"What are you even doing?" Noah asked, sitting back down.
"Oh, nothing, nothing." Izzy said dismissively, booping him on the nose. "Just saying hi!"
"Can you say hi from farther back?" Noah pushed her finger away, used to this sort of thing.
"Awwww, but I like sitting behind you!" Izzy pouted.
"Stop bothering him, Izzy." Eva defended her friend, pulling Izzy away from Noah. "You can hang out with him after the show, ok?"
"But Eva..." Izzy whined. "Noah's having fun!" She looked at him pleadingly.
"I... ugh, just go sit with Owen, ok?" Noah pointed over to Owen, who happily waved to his buddy.
"Hey, Izzy!" Owen smiled. Izzy simply pouted and stormed over to him, glaring at Noah every two seconds. "Awww, it's ok. Noah's kind of grumpy, but he's nice." Owen insisted. Izzy blew a raspberry at Noah and smiled at Owen.
"So, uh..." Sam said awkwardly, surprisingly not with Dakota. "When does the show start normally?"
"In about a minute or two..." Harold pointed at the nearby clock on the wall. "Where's Dakota?" He tilted his head. It had only been a day since Sam came to the Playa, but Dakota and Sam hadn't been seen apart once.
"Oh, she's hanging out with Lindsay, hehehehe." Sam laughed, and before long, Dakota walked in, Lindsay smiling and waving goodbye when Dakota walked over to Sam and sat down next to him.
"Bye Dakota!" Lindsay smiled, going over to sit by Tyler. "I really liked painting your nails!"
"Babe, are you feeling ok?" Tyler asked, worried.
"What do you mean?" Lindsay tilted her head. "I feel fine!"
"You remembered Dakota's name." Sam gaped.
"Of course I did, Dakota's my friend, even if she's all weird and scaly." Lindsay said happily.
"The show's starting in a couple seconds, gosh." Harold warned them.
"Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Chris began, the blue moon releasing its pulse of moonlight in the clip. "The island was bathed in a rare blue harvest moon, that turns normally sweet creatures into pure evil." The squirrel assaulting a bear played. "Totally unsafe to be out after dark in THAT." He laughed. "So, I made it a night challenge!"
"And forced me to wake up at a stupid ass early time." Eva growled, back to her normal grumpy self.
"As they raced, Heather pretended to be affected by the moon," Chris explained as the scene of Heather skipping along was shown. "While Cam and his broken specs got ditched by Mike." A clip of Mal pushing Cameron down the hill was shown. "Or was it Mike?" Chris asked, Mal's evil laughing playing.
"Pretty clear it ain't Mike." Anne Maria said, annoyed. "Gah, and that Mal guy?" She scoffed. "His hair is so not done up right."
"In the end, the villains won again." Chris said, the elimination ceremony playing. "And Cameron volunteered to be the homebound hero for reasons unknown." Chris suddenly coughed. "Sierra." He coughed again.
"Poor Cameron." Cody dropped his Code-meister act for a second, feeling for his fellow Sierra victim.
"But, in a final twist, Cameron became the newest member of the Villainous Vultures." Chris explained as a clip of Cameron's awkward introduction to his new team was played.
"Cameron is gonna die." Leshawna said sharply. "Whether it's Mike or freaky fangirl or his new team, boy's gonna die."
"He won't be injured terribly by a competitor, don't worry." Dawn smiled.
"I find your prediction worryingly specific." Noah cringed.
"My predictions are normally specific, Noah." Dawn looked confused. "It isn't my fault if they worry you."
"You really, really need to work on your understanding of rhetoric statements." Noah sighed.
"But that was then, and this is now." The camera cut to Chris on the docks. "And we can't stop it, so we gotta top it, right here on Total Drama All Stars!" The camera did its normal fadeout.
When the theme song ended, the camera once again zoomed in on the spa hotel, Cameron trying to fix his still broken glasses, Courtney walking by with a glass of orange juice in hand. "Don't bother." She scoffed. "You won't be around long enough for it to matter." She smirked, Cameron ignoring her and continuing his futile attempts until his glasses fell apart further, sighing.
"Man Courtney is really embracing the whole villain thing, isn't she?" Geoff said.
Confessional:
"With Cameron on our team, the newbie target's off my back." Courtney explained, arms folded. "Next time we lose, Four eyes goes home." She smirked, but then paused. "Unless he can't fix his glasses, then he'll be two eyes." She smiled. "Still, he's out." She folded her arms again and frowned.
"Gosh, I don't see why you're all so surprised." Harold shrugged. "Courtney's been mean to me since TDI."
"You did cheat her out of a million, sweetie." Leshawna said, smiling. "Not like she deserves it."
"Here, maybe a twist tie would help." Gwen walked up to Cameron and handed him the little string.
"Aww man, she's nicer to Cameron than she was to me." Cody sighed.
"It worked!" Cameron fixed his glasses with the twist tie, grinning. "Thanks!" He put the glasses back on.
"The villain team isn't entirely made up out of evil people." Gwen smiled warmly.
"Ok, that's not true." Jo said, annoyed. "The villains team consists of a manipulative handwalking Spanish asshole," She put one finger up. "The girl that tossed his sorry ass off of a volcano for a million dollars," Another finger went up. "A dirt-farming challenge throwing scumbag, and a psycho CIT." The final two fingers went up. "And Gwen." She added as an afterthought.
"You were on the team too, you know." Brick protested.
"And I am an awesome competitor." Jo bragged.
"And yet, Cameron ended up out-manipulating you." Noah pointed out, earning a harsh glare from Jo. "Sorry, but it's true."
"Shut up." Jo said sharply, tossing a yoyo at Noah's head, who dodged it nonchalantly.
"Hey, that's my yoyo!" Tyler said happily, picking up the yoyo where it landed. "Oh man, I've been missing this for ages, thanks for giving it back!"
"Why exactly did you have Tyler's yoyo?" Brick asked worriedly.
"I borrowed it from him before All Stars." Jo shrugged.
"You look nerdier than before." Heather butted in, smirking evilly. "I know it sounds impossible, but here you are doing it, so..." She narrowed her eyes.
"Heather, please." Alejandro interrupted her. "I think that he pulls off a nerdy look with a generous measure of dignified flare." He smirked mockingly.
"Wow, Alexander's being nice!" Lindsay clapped. "Maybe the moon is back?"
"He's faking it, lamebrain." Jo growled.
"...It's mostly made up of evil people." Gwen admitted as she and Cameron walked out of the room.
"Great, they've already bonded." Heather walked up to Alejandro, throwing her hands up in annoyance, before putting them down on the table. "I hate to say it, but maybe we should form a temporary alliance to avoid being voted off." She extended a hand. "Allies?"
"Yes, because alliances on this show ALWAYS work out." Noah rolled his eyes.
Alejandro happily took her extended hand. "Agreed." He smiled and kissed it, causing Heather to recoil.
"Awwwwww!" Sadie and Katie both squealed.
"Ugh, gross!" Heather shook her hand to shake off Alejandro's kiss.
Confessionals:
"She trusts me." Alejandro laid back, smirking. "Ha!" He faked a sharp laugh. "Soon I will have my revenge for the dishonor she brought upon my family name!" He said, before gripping his hair. "Once this gorgeous face is rid of that gorgeous face," He pointed back outside. "I will win it all."
"Oh yeah, this is gonna be a long and healthy relationship, I can just tell." Noah groaned.
"I don't think his family name could be dishonored, gosh." Harold snickered. "Considering what his name means, anyway."
"Huh?" Leshawna looked down at Harold, confused.
"Alejandro's last name, Burromuerto, means dead donkey." Harold began to snicker uncontrollably again.
"Dude, you're kidding me!" Geoff burst out laughing.
"I don't believe it!" Jo laughed. "I don't even have to come up with an embarrassing nickname anymore, he's already got one!"
"Alejandro's dad is a diplomat, though." Noah looked confused. "How does a guy with that last name get anywhere in politics?"
"Money." Harold smiled.
"And gorgeousity!" Katie added.
"He thinks I trust him." Heather scoffed. "Ha, that's his one way ticket to flush-town!" She put her thumb down.
The camera switched to Duncan looking out over the cabin patio, glaring. "Apple?" Zoey appeared behind him, happily offering up a granny smith.
"Don't mind if I do." Duncan smiled, taking the apple and eating it.
"Glad you're starting to trust people!" Zoey happily put her hands together. "A few days ago, there'd be no way you'd have taken that from me." Duncan suddenly stopped, eyes wide and gulping down his apple.
Confessionals:
"I'm surrounded by so much heroic kindness!" Duncan shivered, gripping his head and faking a barf noise. "I think it's starting to rub off." He rubbed his arms worriedly. "Is that why Gwen dumped me?" He gasped.
"She dumped you because you were making googly eyes at Courtney!" Trent said, extremely annoyed.
"Only I am allowed to make such faces at Courtney!" Justin proclaimed, earning the annoyance of most of the other people in the room.
"Whatever!" Duncan said, annoyed. "I'm still bad, just watch!" He pulled out his switchblade, stabbing it into the wall, only to have the blade fall off. "Oh, come on!" He groaned.
"Oh dear." Mal smirked, finger on his chin. "What happened to Duncan's knife?"
"Oh great, he's got a knife now." Noah said, deadpan but clearly a little scared. "This will end well."
The camera cut to a much cheaper recorded video, still containing the outer markings of a home recorded tape. The video was of the interior of the heroes cabin at night, focusing in on Duncan's sleeping form, Mal sneaking his hand under Duncan's pillow and rummaging until he found the knife. The camera shifted to show Mal, but only his shadow as he grinned maliciously, switching open the knife.
"Dude, that's creepy." Geoff said, cringing. "It's like, a serial killer flick."
"I love serial killer movies!" Izzy grinned. "I especially like how people get to make out in them." She wiggled her eyebrows at Owen and he giggled.
"Ugh, I'd rather be eaten by scarabs than watch you two make out." Jo groaned.
"That's oddly specific." Brick looked confused.
The camera feed cut out and returned to Mal taking a rock and smashing Duncan's knife with it, before switching again to him stuffing the knife back in place. "Tough break." Mal laughed, miming a snapping motion with his hands.
"Yah, I'm surprised he didn't, like, knife someone." Staci said, and everyone waited for her to add some obnoxious factoid, but it didn't come. "What?" She asked, confused.
"Nyeahehehghheh!" The camera changed scenes and zoomed in on the girls cabins, Sierra's inelegant blubbering heard.
"Sierra, are you ok?" Inside the cabin, Zoey was leaning down over next to Sierra, who had her face in her pillow.
"Oh Zoey!" She sobbed, taking a deep breath to continue her blubbering. "I miss Cody-Cam!"
Zoey blinked in confusion, realizing Sierra's odd slip-up. "Do you mean Cameron?" She asked, worriedly.
"That's what I said!" Sierra snapped, glaring.
"Ahh... no, you didn't." Zoey corrected softly.
Sierra leaned up and snapped again. "Well... your ears are wrong...and-and so is your face!" She ran out of the cabin sobbing.
"Wow, is everyone around there terrible at comebacks?" Jo said, annoyed.
"Sierra is just terrible at everything." Cody said. "Well, I mean, besides sewing... and trapping... and hunting... ok, I've lost my metaphor."
"I don't think that was a metaphor." Harold said. "It was a statement at best, gosh."
"Shut up." Cody said, quickly.
"Sierra is making me sad." Beth admitted, much to the surprise of everyone. "I don't think she's... well."
"I think we've established that." Noah said. "She's nuttier than a fruitcake."
"Well, yes..." Beth admitted. "But it's kind of sad, you know?"
"I don't find it sad." Cody shrugged. "Scary, oh hell yes, but sad? No."
"Wait, I didn't mean it-" Zoey chased after Sierra, before stopping in fright as Mike popped in.
"Sorry." Mike stepped into the house awkwardly. "So... you ok?" He asked worriedly.
"Yeah, yes, fine." Zoey said, arms folded and looking nervous. "Totally." She added
"Cool!" Mike said from off screen, the camera focusing in on his hands, where he had an apple slice impaled on a stick. "Apple?" He offered, Zoey screaming in shock.
"Where'd he get that knife?" Bridgette asked. "The cafeteria doesn't serve knifes like that."
"Maybe they switched it up." Geoff shrugged.
Confessionals:
"Oh I can't believe it." Zoey sighed. "I'm scared of Mike!" She looked at the camera, eyes wide. "After what he did to Cam...But he's not himself," She clenched her fists. "The Mike I love is still in there, isn't he?" She looked pleadingly at the camera. "I can't just abandon him... can I?" She added. "Oh, what I wouldn't give for a deck of tarot cards right now!"
"I didn't know Zoey read tarot..." Bridgette said, confused.
"I did." Dawn smiled. "I'm pleased she's learning something from me."
"Zoey's pulling away..." Mike sighed, hands on his knees. "Maybe it's for the best, if I can't control who's in charge of me..." He put his hand on his chest, with an extremely pained expression on his face. "Then she might be safer to stay away." He paused. "But I reaally don't want her to." He said, before gasping, his hair falling over his eyes and rubbing his hands together gleefully. "Oh, but I do."
"Poor Mike..." Beth sighed.
"Poor Zelda." Lindsay added. "I mean, I don't know what I'd do if Tyler went all evil."
"I'd never do that, babe." Tyler grinned and hugged her.
The camera switched to the loudspeaker, where a small seagull had nested, the loudspeaker blaring and sending the seagull out of the nest. "Get your butts to the dock, campers!" Chris announced. "It's challenge time!"
"What do you think the challenge is gonna be?" Trent asked Dawn, knowing she would know.
"Oh, a trip to the Fun-zone." Dawn smiled.
"I thought you didn't spoil the future." Jo growled.
"I didn't tell you about what the challenge would be." Dawn said, slightly hurt. "Just where it would be."
"Where is the Fun-zone?" Leshawna asked, but Dawn didn't answer.
"Welcome all!" Chris announced as the camera switched to the docks. "Today's challenge involves a trip to the Fun-zone, hehehe!" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, chuckling, before blowing a kazoo.
"What do you know, Pixie Dust was right." Jo shrugged. "So, is the Fun-zone like, infested with rats?"
"Rats would be too nice." Eva punched her hand with her fist. "I bet Zeke's living there."
"But Chris doesn't know about Zeke, yah." Staci added. "I, like, bet it's full of mutants."
"Mutants?" Sam asked. "I thought they decontaminated the island."
"Yah, but where did all the mutant animals go?" Staci said. "Like, they haven't been able to fix Dakota, and she has lots of money."
"Dakota get fixed someday." Dakota sniffled.
"And even if you don't, I'll love you." Sam grinned, several of the girls swooning.
"Sam best boyfriend ever!" Dakota squealed, nuzzling Sam. Sam chuckled and hugged her back.
"Let's just watch the episode, ok?" Eva stopped the conversation/lovefest.
"Yay!" Confetti rained down on the contestants as Sierra giggled and laughed, everyone else wary.
"What's the catch?" Heather asked, narrowing her eyes. "Is the Fun-zone just a building that's on fire?"
"That could be it." Eva shrugged.
"Yah, but I still say mutants." Staci piped up.
"Nope!" Chris smiled.
"Is it a pit full of intestines?" Duncan asked from offscreen.
"Would that be fun?" Chris smiled deviously, eyes closed.
"Yes!" Izzy screamed. "Izzy is so totally gonna be in this season!"
"But Izz', you weren't asked to compete." Owen looked confused.
"I have my sources." Izzy smirked. "Geoff, hand me your banana!"
"I... don't have a banana." Geoff looked in his pockets, extremely confused.
"Yes you do, your magical banana that calls on the producers!" Izzy grinned and pointed at Geoff's phone.
"Izzy, I've seen you use a phone." Noah said, annoyed. "I've heard you call it a phone. You know what a phone is."
"Izzy does not know what Noah is talking about." Izzy turned her head.
"You texted me about the flying monkeys five times yesterday!" Noah threw up his hands in annoyance. "I know you know what a phone is!"
"Izzy thinks Nono is being a giant buttface and should totally shut up." Izzy snarled. "Hand me the banana-phone, Geoff!"
"See, you just called it a-it's not even worth it." Noah began to yell, but sighed and shook his head as Geoff reluctantly handed Izzy the phone.
Izzy quickly dialed the buttons then put it on speaker, grinning psychotically. "Who wants to hear?"
"I do!" Owen smiled, the only one who did. Izzy grinned back and waited impatiently for the producers to pick up.
"Hello, Geoffrey." The producer from the Zeke incident could be heard on the other end of the line, extremely annoyed. "Look, if you're still worried about the Mike thing, don't worry-"
"Hi!" Izzy waved at the phone, despite being an audio call. "But my name's not Geoffrey, it's Izzy!"
"Your full name is Geoffrey?" DJ giggled.
"And your full name is Devon Joseph." Geoff blew a raspberry.
"Izzy, how did you get a hold of Geoffrey's phone?" The producer asked warily.
"I gave it to her." Geoff reassured him and borrowed the phone. "She wants another cameo on the show."
"...You know some of us have a restraining order against that lunatic, right?" The producer asked, nervously.
"Hey, it's not my fault that he took those death threats the wrong way..." Izzy looked defensive.
"We don't have any cameos scheduled this season, Izzy." The producer sighed. "And anyway, you've already cameod in Revenge of the Island."
"So make it the return of Arachno-Izzy!" Izzy waved her hands in the air. "Envision it! I can be all dressed up, and-Look, it'll be awesome!"
"..." The producer was silent for about a minute, before sighing. "We do need something for Cameron's phobia, and since germs can't kill him and Sierra's a competitor..." He mused.
"Wait, what?" Bridgette interrupted.
"Oh, nothing, nothing!" The producer laughed nervously. "Turns out we do need Izzy to cameo... Do you still have your spider costume?"
"Yep!" Everyone turned to Izzy, who had somehow donned her full spider gear in the seconds everyone had looked away.
"We-How-WHAT?" Noah gaped. "How did you even-what?..." He stammered, completely lost.
"Izzy had it in her backpack." Izzy smiled.
"You weren't wearing a backpack..." Bridgette shivered, clearly creeped out by the costume.
"Ok, good." The producer said, ignoring everyone else. "Meet us at the docks in an hour for briefing." He shut off the connection, the phone beeping until Geoff pressed the end button.
"You're going to be on TV again, Izz'!" Owen grinned. "You'll make a pretty spider!"
"Really?" Izzy grinned. "I used to want to eat you when you call me pretty... but not now."
"Romance of the year, people." Noah mumbled.
"Well, sayonara!" Izzy smiled, putting on the headpiece and scuttling out of the room, Jo visibly relieved.
"Ugh, thank god." Jo shivered.
"Are you scared of spiders?" Brick smiled.
"Hell no!" Jo snarled, blushing.
"I'm scared of spiders too." Leshawna smiled. "Creepy-ass things crawling around." She shuddered.
"I'll protect you, Leshawna." Harold smiled, miming a karate chop, winking at her. She sighed and facepalmed, hiding a small smile. "Shall I press the remote?" He asked, and everyone nodded.
"You've had it kind of rough lately," Chris smirked, enjoying this immensely. "So, I figured-" He paused. "Ok, the lawyers figured you deserve a treat." He frowned, before looking down and smirking. "But if you'd rather do something else..."
"Trap." Cody declared. "It's so obviously a trap."
"Well, yeah, duh." Noah groaned. "And they're falling for it, aren't they."
"NO!" Everyone yelled.
"They are." Noah sighed.
"Fun-zone it is!" Chris smiled, pointing upwards and walking to the end of the dock. "Ooh, here's our ride." He said, as the boat of losers scooted up, Scott standing on it, obviously exhausted and scuffed up.
"I'm back from exile-" Scott began to get out of the boat, only to have Chris shove him back in.
"All aboard!" He grinned, the camera fading to a shot of the signature skull that indicated they were going to Boney Island.
"The Fun-zone is in Boney Island?" Duncan asked incredulously.
"Yep, it works better as a SURPRISE that way." Chris put disturbing emphasis on the word surprise.
"Clue number one that something's gone wrong." Jo groaned. "Chris is using the word surprise."
"Ugh, I'd forgotten what a dump this island is!" Heather complained, as everyone walked along the path.
"C'mon now, maybe someone will finally find the invincibility statue." Chris called back to Scott, who was hunched over in exhaustion.
"I searched all night..." He moaned. "There is no statue, say it!" His eyes twitched.
"Yes, there is." Chris explained. "But it's hidden IN the Fun-zone!" He smiled. "And, whoever finds it gets to keep it."
"Wait a minute." Sam narrowed his eyes. "It was in the Fun-zone?"
"That means you exiled yourself for nothing, cause there's no way you'd have found it anyway." Noah said, confirming his fears.
"Ugh, man, that sucks." Sam frowned.
"Whoohoo!" Everyone whooped.
The camera then faded to the entrance to the Fun-zone, a castle wall with log barricades and a high tech door, balloons everywhere. "Welcome to the outside of the fabulous Fun-zone, patent pending!" Chris grinned, he camera panned over everyone's worried expressions, except for Sierra, who was holding her breath in anticipation.
"This looks like the entrance to the Chris-osseum..." Bridgette glared suspiciously.
"Alright, let's move it, people, keep a steady pace!" Chris smiled, pressing a button that opened the door. When everyone walked inside, the camera panned over the Fun-zone, a near copy of the mutated forest of Season 4.
"Lightning remembers this place!" Lightning smiled. "Stupid Cameron tricked me in here!"
"I thought the government cleaned up the radiation, not moved it to another place!" Bridgette growled.
"See, yah, I told you!" Staci smirked.
"Ok... how did you know?" Eva looked nonplussed. "I mean, you guessed the Zeke thing too!"
"Oh, well, the Zeke thing was actually pretty easy, yah. I saw the pool was closed yesterday and the angle of the cannon blast that sent him packing from the island would probably land him over here. I put two and two together, yah." Staci explained happily.
"You-that-that makes sense..." Noah looked extremely confused.
"That still doesn't explain how you knew the Fun-zone was all mutated up!" Owen said, scratching his head.
"Well I remembered that the producer mentioned they needed elephant tranquilizers for the mutants that swim over from the island, yah, so there has to be an island full of them. Plus, Dakota's daddy's been trying to fix her for a year and she's still a mutant, so I doubt the government could fix an entire island of mutants. Ergo, the Fun-zone is where they took them, yah." She continued explaining as if this was entirely the most obvious thing in the world.
"...How come you never used your smarts on the show?" Jo gaped.
"I-I didn't get the chance, yah. B gave the solution anyway." Staci smiled at B, who waved back.
The camera cut to the entrance, where Chris was smiling and waving, standing outside and not going in. The door slammed shut and everyone turned worriedly to the door. "You are now in the Fun-zone!" He announced. "AKA, the most dangerous place you've ever been!" He laughed. "Your challenge is easy."
"Whenever he says that, it means deadly." Brick sighed.
"Put eggs in a basket." He held up a small speckled egg.
"There's a catch here..." Jo growled.
"Eggs found here in the Fun-zone belong to all of the terrifying mutants from Season four, who will try to smash your bodies and eat you." Chris explained, the screen showing all of the mutants in silhouette. The campers all looked nervous.
"There's the catch." Jo smirked.
"Oh no!" Dawn's eyes widened.
"What's wrong!" Trent looked extremely worried.
"This, this challenge is inhumane!" Dawn cried. "Poor, defenseless eggs!"
"It-It's not that bad.." Trent tried to reassure her.
"But-It's ripping their eggs out of their nests for some cruel challenge of Chris's!" Dawn looked close to tears.
"It's-it'll be ok, Dawn." Trent smiled, sitting down closer to her.
"What is fun about that?!" Mike asked, scared.
"Um, it's fun to WATCH?" Chris smirked, looking around in false innocence.
"I don't find this fun in the slightest!" Dawn huffed.
"I do." Jo shrugged, smirking.
"All we have to do is collect the eggs?" Alejandro asked suspiciously.
"You'll be fine..." Chris laughed. "They're just wild mutated beasts trying to protect their unborn babies, how bad can it get?" He asked, clearly well aware of the danger. "First team with six eggs in their basket wins." An animatic of the basket being filled was shown instead of Chris's face.
"What if an egg hatches?" Duncan asked.
"As long as you keep whatever hatches in your basket, it counts." He explained. "And, as a special bonus, whoever collects the most eggs for the winning team gets a special reward."
"Reward meaning something awful, I'm sure." Leshawna glared.
"So, exited?" He asked, grinning. "Ah?" He asked again, before frowning as Scott's snores could be heard. Chris pulled out a megaphone. "SCOTT!" He yelled, Scott screaming himself awake and falling over.
"Hehahahaha." Duncan laughed, forcedly, clearly trying to prove something. "I found that funny because I'm not a nice person. That's why I laughed." He walked away from a confused Sierra. "Cause I'm not nice." Duncan walked over to Scott and helped him up.
"Thanks, man." Scott said, exhausted, and Duncan groaned, realizing he just did something nice.
"Man, he's forcing the villain status a bit, isn't he?" Geoff laughed. "The guy tucks everyone in at night and he's still too insecure to accept that he's nice."
"I think it's kind of cute how he's trying to be evil." Beth smiled.
"Duncan is at war with his vision of himself after becoming a hero." Dawn smiled. "It's up to him to choose the correct side."
Confessional:
"Ah goshygosh poopyface fuzzy slipper!" Duncan cried out, clearly trying to swear. "Ooh, what is wrong with me?" He gripped his head. "Even my swears are lame!" He looked worried.
Everyone burst out laughing at his failed swears, Jo laughing the hardest. "It's not that hard to say goddamn shitface fucker." She shrugged, everyone looking vaguely shocked at her profanity. "What? I'm seventeen, I can swear as much as I fucking want, ok?"
"The red basket belongs to the villains." Chris explained as the camera focused on the bowl with the team insignia on it, before panning to the other. "The gold one is for Duncan and the rest of the Do-gooders." He smirked as Duncan growled at him. "I'd wish you all good luck, but it's bad for ratings. So, I hope some of you get really hurt." He pulled out an air-horn and signaled the start of the race. "Begin!"
"Bastard." Jo snarled.
"We should look for eggs together!" Sierra grasped Cameron's arm, Cameron looking worried.
"Run, Cameron, RUN!" Cody was clearly feeling himself in Cameron's shoes.
"Uh, we're on different teams now." Cameron pulled away, confused.
"That doesn't matter!" She yelled. "Why would that matter? No, it even doesn't!" She grabbed onto Cameron's hoodie and pulled him up to her height, panting, before Gwen grabbed Cameron and took him away. "CAMOOOODY!" She dropped to her knees and screamed.
"Eeep." Cody shrunk back.
"You know, when she's voted off, you're gonna have to deal with her." Noah said.
"I KNOW!" Cody curled up in terror. "I'm going to die."
The camera panned out to Chris watching them outside the Fun-zone with Chef. "Is there a psychiatrist on the island, you know, in case of EMERGENCIES?" Chris asked the camera guy and Chef, Chef shaking his head no. "This... will get ugly." He sighed.
"You know, I just found out the playa has a psychia-whosits the other day!" Owen laughed. "They said Izzy needed to take her meds."
"She does." Noah added.
The camera cut to Scott sleeping against the trunk of a large tree, Courtney running up next to him and grabbing his shoulder. "Scott, are you-" She began, but Scott was clearly in the middle of a nightmare and began to viciously wave his arms and growl. "Wha-no, it's me, stop!" She wrapped her arms around him, and he calmed down. "C'mon, let's find some eggs."
"Awww!" Sadie squealed. "They're so cute together!"
"I know, right?" Katie agreed."
The camera cut to Zoey walking alone in the woods, pushing a bunch of leaves out of her way to see Mike with an evil glare in the shadows. She screamed, falling to the ground, only to have Mike cough and help her up. "Sorry, didn't mean to spook you." He said apologetically. "I know I've been weird lately," He put his hand on his shoulder sheepishly. "But I feel less... Scared of myself when I'm with you."
Zoey smiled and laughed slightly. "I feel better when I'm around you too!" She grinned. "You know, when you're... you." She paused.
"Being around you makes me feel more like the me I wanna be, when I'm around you, being me." Mike said awkwardly, putting his hands on his chest and smiling, before pausing and they both laughed.
"Awwww!" Most of the girls squealed in unison.
"Barf." Jo growled. "Seriously, what's with the lovey-dovey shit going on here?"
"I dunno, I think it's kind of sweet." Brick smiled.
"Seriously, you too?" Jo made fake gagging motions. "This is the dorkiest thing I've ever seen!"
"Oh my gosh, I know." Anne Maria agreed, filing her nails and clearly annoyed.
"You know she's flirting with Mike and not Vito, right?" Bridgette said nervously.
"I know. She's getting too close to stepping on my man." Anne Maria growled.
Suddenly Zoey stopped laughing and gasped, pulling Mike into a bush as one of the mutant crabs crawled by, snapping its pincers. "Would you like to pair up together-" Both of them asked each other.
"Sure!" Mike grinned and they walked off together.
The scene switched to Alejandro sitting down in the dirt, tossing a rock at an egg on a ledge and causing it to fall. Alejandro gasped happily and held out his arms to catch it, only for Heather to grab it out of the air. "Egg-celent work, Alejandro." She quipped happily.
"Puns are terrible." Noah groaned, only to find Owen snorting with laughter. "Oh come on, it wasn't that funny."
"Eggs!" Owen laughed.
The camera switched to the villains basket, Heather putting the egg in to triumphant music. "First egg goes to the vultures!" Chris announced, Gwen and Cameron cheering. "You better get your butts in gear, hamsters!"
"Hang on!" Alejandro stopped running from the basket and turned to Chris. "What's to stop the other team from taking eggs from our basket?"
"Integrity?" Chris guessed.
"So nothing." Heather walked back as well.
"I didn't make it a rule that they can't, so... I guess they can." Chris looked down, smirking.
"You stay, guard the nest." Heather told Alejandro as she ran off to collect more eggs.
"You're the boss!" Alejandro called back, before muttering. "For now..."
Mike and Zoey popped out from behind a tree, Zoey shushing Mike. "Look, it's Larry!" She pointed to the enormous flytrap sitting in the dirt and clutching a seed-pod. "And he's got an egg!"
"I hate that damn flower." Leshawna growled.
"Why?" Trent asked, confused. "I mean, besides the obvious reasons."
"Ask the idiot who decided for our anniversary he'd get the biggest flower on the island." Leshawna pointed to a sheepish Harold.
"I still got it for you, gosh." Harold huffed.
"I know you did, sweetie." Leshawna smiled.
"Which means Larry's actually a Lorri?" Zoey speculated, confused. "Wait here, when I get the flower, Larry'll chase me." She pointed at Mike. "You grab the egg, and head back to the basket." She began to climb the tree.
"But what about-" Mike began.
"I'll be fine!" She said happily. "Meet you at the basket!"
"This will not end well." Leshawna sighed. "I'm still picking thorns out of Harold's butt." Everyone stared at her. "My butt, my butt!" She corrected nervously.
"Yeah!" Zoey swung across Larry's mouth and grabbed the flower. "Sorry!" She yelled as Larry chased after her. Mike nervously pulled the seed-pod from its roots and ran. Zoey soon spotted a bat winged moose and tossed the flower up to it. Larry grabbed the moose in its(her?) tentacles. "Phew, sorry again!" She called back to the moose.
The camera cut to Duncan looking under a rock. "Duncan!" Sierra called out, and Duncan looked up to see her standing at the other end of the swamp. "You wanna work together?" She laughed, quickly adding "And let me call you Cody?"
"Ugh." Cody shivered.
"No can do." Duncan grinned. "I'm a lone wolf, that's how it is when you're evil." Even Sierra wasn't buying it, rolling her eyes and walking away. "True evil has no friends, true evil-" He added, a tentacle from the swamp pulling him in.
"Awww, he's trying so hard!" Beth smiled.
Duncan screamed and was tossed out of the swamp, hitting a tree and collapsing onto the ground. An egg was jostled out of its nest by this and fell into his hands. "Sweet!" He laughed, before groaning. "And owwwww..."
"Hurry, put it in the basket!" Zoey urged Mike, who was running as fast as he could with the seed pod.
"Uh oh." He was about to put it into the basket when the thing exploded, covering him in goo and sending the little seedlings running. Alejandro watched as one of the seedlings ran by, having Chris's face. Chris whistled innocently.
"OK, PAUSE!" Noah yelled. "No one is telling me to ignore this one, ok?"
"Is that-Chris's head on Larry's body?" Trent shivered.
"Oh maaan that is sick." Geoff groaned. "And not in the cool way."
"Ok, moving from the 'Oh god is that sooo wrong' factor, how did this happen?" Noah shuddered.
"Well, when a man and a plant love each other-no, I'm not finishing that joke, it's too wrong." Jo began to explain, but her eyes widened as she realized what she was saying.
"Well, yes, but-how?" Noah asked. "I mean... Plants don't have-" He began, but Cody shoved his hand over his mouth.
"No." Cody instructed. "Just... no."
"I don't get it..." Lindsay looked confused at everyone's disgust, before Tyler whispered something in her ear. "Oh my gosh ewewewewewewew!" She squeaked.
"Is that legal?" Trent added. "I'm not sure that's legal."
"Chris has committed enough sins against nature that this doesn't shock me." Dawn sighed. "I just hope that the young flytrap does not share it's fathers greed."
"Eeeeewwww!" Dakota shrieked, Sam hugging her to calm her down. "Chris gross!"
"Yeah, huhuhuh..." Sam agreed. "Let's just... forget this ever happened."
"Agreed." Everyone said.
Duncan ran up to the basket and put his egg in, the intercom playing victorious music. "And the score is one-all!" Chris announced, Mike and Zoey high fiving.
"Sweet, one for the good guys!" Duncan gave a thumbs up, before pausing nervously. "I mean bad guys!"
"Can you stay and guard our basket?" Zoey smiled. "Otherwise..." She pointed to Alejandro, who was smirking and leering at the basket.
"Hmm... Good point." Duncan agreed.
"Thanks Duncan!" Zoey and Mike ran off.
"Makes sense that the two biggest villains are the ones guarding the eggs!" Duncan walked over to Alejandro.
"Yes, we are like two mother hens." Alejandro smirked, Duncan sighing as the camera cut to the giant alligator with tentacles stomping along.
"Oh hey, look Dakota!" Sam smiled. "It's that alligator you beat up!" He laughed. "But, you know, bigger."
"Dakota still want rematch..." Dakota growled. "Still need new purse."
The camera panned down to Scott and Courtney hiding behind a rock nervously. "Glad I found you." Heather ran up to the two unexpectedly. "Alejandro's convincing everyone to vote for Scott at the next elimination." She explained.
"What?" Courtney called after her.
"Yes!" Justin grinned. "Die in flames so I may have my true love!" He cackled maniacally as everyone looked at him. "Uh... I mean... whatever."
"Justin, I know your heart burns for Courtney, but she loves Scott." Dawn comforted him. "I see it in their auras, it isn't right to force two people apart just so you can be happy."
"But-but..." Justin stammered. "I love Courtney..."
"And she loves Scott." Dawn explained. "Sometimes love hurts like that. Trent loved Gwen and Gwen loved Duncan and Courtney loved Duncan too. By forcing themselves together, Gwen and Duncan broke as many hearts as they healed by being together." She smiled at Trent, who smiled back at her.
"I refuse to let Courtney slip away!" Justin stated, Dawn shaking her head in remorse.
"Don't worry... My vote's for Alejandro." Heather called back.
Sierra came running to the basket with a quickly hatching egg. She put it in the basket before it cracked open to reveal a two headed rat, which growled at Sierra. "That's two eggs for the heroes."
"Awww, it thinks I'm its mommy!" Sierra grabbed the freakish rat and smiled. "It's adorable." She cooed, much to Duncan's disgust.
"Yeah, maybe you should stay while I go find some more eggs." Duncan said nervously.
"Sure!" Sierra smiled as the rat continued to hiss at her. "A mother has to take care of her newborn." She explained as the bottom head barfed.
"Poor little rat, being separated from its nest by Sierra." Dawn cooed at the baby rat onscreen, despite everyone's obvious disgust.
"Its hardboiled down to two eggs for the heroes, and one for the villains." Chris paused the camera feed and turned to the camera. "But the challenge is far from over-easy." He struggled to keep his happy manner while saying the terrible puns. "Who will win?" He pulled out his script. "Your QUICHE is as good as mine..." He faltered, frowning as Chef giggled. "Stay tuned to Total Drama All Stars!" He tossed away the script. "Yeah, I'm gonna fire whoever wrote that."
"Again. Puns are terrible." Noah rolled his eyes as Owen snickered.
"Anyone wanna take bets on who wins the challenge?" Trent suggested, much to the annoyance of Dawn. "What? I won't be betting, I was just offering." He said defensively.
"I have ten down on the villains." Jo smirked. "Private Potty-Pants says the heroes are gonna win, but I think he's forgetting how outnumbered they are."
"I thought we agreed, no more nicknames!" Brick stammered, red-faced.
"I didn't agree to anything, G.I-Joke." She laughed.
The camera cut back to the mutant forest, Scott and Courtney walking along together. "I don't know how you guys put up with a whole season of these weird monsters." She stated, the maggot from the runway challenge squirming across in the background, still wearing its costume.
"Hey look, it's the maggot from the fashion challenge!" Sam laughed.
"I still say my look was better." Anne Maria narrowed her eyes.
"H-hey, whatever doesn't horribly maim and devour you only makes you stronger." Scott said weakly, flexing.
"But the shark did horribly maim AND devour him..." Beth sighed. "Maybe that's why he's not a jerk anymore."
"Oh, he's a jerk." Jo scoffed. "He's just a nicer jerk. As long as you can put up with his constant night terrors, yeah, he's better."
"Night terrors?" Beth said nervously.
"Oh yeah, Lightning wasn't around to hear it, but Sharkbait has nightmares all the time." Jo explained. "Like, I could hear him all the way across the hall, screaming about how the shark was gonna eat him again."
"...That's actually pretty sad." Bridgette frowned. "I remember seeing him in that little robot suit and having to have an intern help him around ... It was really sad."
"Don't worry babe, he's fine now." Geoff smiled.
"Well, besides the obvious post traumatic stress." Noah shrugged.
"Stay close, I got your back." Scott said warmly, grabbing Courtney's hand before letting go as he realized what he was doing. Courtney smiled and blushed heavily, holding her hand.
"Oh my gosh they are so cute!" Sadie squealed, Katie nodding. Justin looked like he was about to explode, however.
"Sorry, uh-I, uh-Woah!" Scott smiled and began to apologize before one of the giant mutant gophers popped out from underground and grabbed his legs, both him and Courtney screaming.
Courtney quickly grabbed a stick to pummel the gopher, but did not look as she slammed it down onto Scott instead. "Let-go-of-my-team-mate!" She screamed, before finally actually hitting the gopher on the nose. The gopher squealed and dug away, tossing one of its eggs out in its panic, landing in Courtney's hands. "Yes!" She smiled. "Weirdo gopher egg! C'mon!" She called to Scott, who moaned.
"Right behind you..." He groaned.
"Courtney deserves me." Justin insisted.
"She deserves whoever she wants, you jerk!" Beth frowned.
"But I am clearly the most beautiful male, and she is the most beautiful girl!" He continued to insist. "Therefore it is meant to be!"
"Hey, I'm so prettier than Courtney!" Anne Maria butted in. "I mean, I'm at least a double-D here." She held her chest up. "And have you seen my hair?" She flicked her semi-metallic hairdo, which clanged. "I am sooo hotter than CIT girl." Most of the males sitting next to her blushed slightly, then apologized to their girlfriends.
The camera cut to Mike and Zoey fishing in a chickens nest for eggs. "Easy, easy..." Zoey urged him, as he stuck his hand in the straw. The chicken opened its reptilian eye, only for several more to open up all over its face. Both Mike and Zoey screamed, as the chicken got up and a mouth on its chest opened up, its wormlike tongue waving.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH! GIANT DEMON CHICKEN!" Tyler let out an ear-piercing shriek and got up, running straight into a wall and knocking himself out.
"Ohmygosh Tyler!" Lindsay shrieked, running over to him and kneeling next to him, putting her head on his chest to listen for his heartbeat. "Oh no, he's dead, his hearts beating!" She squealed, crying.
"..." Noah stared, nonplussed as she continued sobbing. "Who wants to break the good news to her?"
"Lindsay, sweetie, a heartbeat means he's ok." Beth crouched near her dimwitted friend.
"Oooh, ok!" Lindsay clapped her hands like a seal. "Yay, Tyler's alive!"
"... I haven't spent enough time around her, so can someone tell me if she's serious or not?" Jo looked extremely confused.
"She's serious." Brick explained.
"To be fair," DJ shrugged. "I'm not afraid of chickens and I find that thing freaky."
"Yeah, but you're afraid of everything." Eva scoffed.
"Not everything." DJ huffed.
"Dude, you ran half a mile screaming because you saw Heather wearing a face mask!" Owen snickered. "Oh, sorry." He realized he was being rude.
The camera cut to Cameron, Gwen and Heather all putting eggs into their basket. "And the villains are up, 4 to 2!" Chris announced.
"Phew!" Heather faked wiping her brow. "I need a break." She looked at Alejandro specifically."I'll guard the basket for a while."
"As you wish!" Alejandro smirked and ran off, Heather turning her attention to Gwen and Cameron.
"Don't get too close!" Heather insisted. "Alejandro has everyone else convinced to vote off Cameron next, which is tempting..."
"But I thought she said he was voting off Scott..." Lindsay said, confused and still trying to revive Tyler.
"It's called being a sneaky lying bi-" Jo began, but was cut off by Tyler moaning and being woken up.
"What-where am I?" He mumbled. "Linds?" He smiled at his girlfriend, who kissed him.
"You're ok! I thought the giant chicken thing scared you to... like... death or something!" Lindsay grinned.
"Giant ch-chicken?" Tyler stammered, but Lindsay said nothing more.
"Um, I'm right here!" Cameron said nervously, exchanging glances with Gwen.
"But my vote is for Alejandro." Heather smiled.
"And why should we trust you?" Cameron asked accusingly.
"You shouldn't." Noah stated, annoyed. "Seriously, why does she always manage to trick people? Everyone knows she's evil!"
"Do what you want, little man, it's your funeral!" Heather walked away, calling back to Gwen and Cameron.
"UGH, I thought you were gonna watch the eggs!" Gwen called after her, camera switched to the giant mutant chicken running across the screen, roaring.
"AGH-" Tyler began, before DJ grabbed him and held him tight to keep him from passing out again. "G-giant ch-chicken..." He muttered, eyes wide.
"It's ok, shhhh." Trent reassured him. "The chicken's only on tv, it's not here."
"Does anyone else realize how ridiculous this looks?" Eva laughed. "It's just a chicken!"
"I know! I mean, sure it's a big one, but we're not there fighting it!" Jo agreed, fist bumping Eva.
"He heh, sucker." Mike laughed as they walked out of the cave they were hiding in, only to have the chicken chase after them again.
"Giant chicken!" Tyler screamed again, struggling to get free of DJ's grasp. "I'm gonna die!"
The camera switched to Alejandro hiding behind some rocks, watching Heather fend off one of the fire breathing mountain goats. "Shoo!" Heather urged the beast. "Go bug a hero!"
"Hmmm... No need to rush to her aid..." Alejandro said deviously. The goat rushed at her and sent her falling to the ground, her egg cracking open to reveal the invincibility statue.
"Hello, what have we here?" She picked it up, smiling devilishly.
"Crap, now she's got immunity." Jo snarled. "And she's probably gonna win, again."
"I wouldn't be too sure of that." Dawn smiled wisely.
"Ohnonononono!" Alejandro whispered, hand on his face, before Heather stuck the statue behind the rocks to hide it, causing him to smile.
Confessionals:
"I can't hold onto the idol." Heather insisted. "Someone will see it for sure!" She explained. "I'll stash it away for now, and go back for it later."
"Idiot." Eva muttered angrily. "She's an idiot."
"Heheheheh, pathetic." Alejandro laughed.
"There you are!" The camera cut back to Heather getting the other egg from the nest, Alejandro calling up to her. "Find any eggs, partner?" He said the last part extremely flirtingly.
"Actually, I found the invincibility statue." Heather said smugly. "But don't bother picking my pockets." She looked around shiftily. "I've hidden it away."
"Again, idiot." Eva growled.
"Don't suppose you'll tell me where?" Alejandro feigned innocence.
"Ha!" Heather rolled her eyes. "Don't you worry your pretty little head, it's safe." She narrowed her eyes.
"Ok, I won't worry my PRETTY head." He smiled smugly.
"It's an expression." Heather snapped. "And I didn't mean it!" She walked off angrily.
"Ooh, wait for me and my pretty head!" He said mockingly, walking after her. Heather groaned in annoyance off camera.
"Awwwww..." Katie smiled. "They're so cute together!"
"You say that about every couple, Tweedle-dumb." Jo growled. "And Tweedle-idiot over there always agrees."
"Hey!" Both Katie and Sadie said at the same time. "We're totally different!" They exchanged glances. "Oh my gosh stop copying me!" They both began, before bursting out into girlish giggles. "We are so BFFFS!" Sadie smiled.
"OMG I know!" Katie grinned.
"Heather and Alejandro's hearts burn pink with love for each other." Dawn smiled. "I hope one day they can set aside their competition and be happy together."
"You can tell when people like each other?" Trent said, impressed.
"Yes, for example, your heart burns a faded light pink for Gwen, that is slowly being replaced by new pink for-" She blushed. "Well, it's pink. And Dakota's heart burns a deep magenta for Sam, meaning she loves him very much." She pointed toward Dakota, who was nuzzling Sam like a ragdoll. "And Brick and Jo burn bright red for anger and passion... And Noah-" She began to continue, before Jo tossed another yo-yo at her, forcing her to stop.
"I do not like Brickhouse!" Jo blushed.
"What was she gonna say about you, little buddy?" Owen suddenly looked very interested in Noah, smiling. "You've got a crush on someone?"
"Pfft, no, no way!" Noah said shakily, rolling his eyes. "Look, let's just watch the show?"
"So if getting hit in the head made you lose contact with your other personalities..." Zoey mused as she and Mike walked along. "Would another hit in the head bring them back?" She offered.
"Like a reset button!" Mike smiled. "Worth a try!" He reached down and grabbed a rock, handing it to Zoey. "Do it!" He cringed.
"Yeah, that seems like a bad plan..." Cody scratched his head.
"I can't hit you in the head with a rock!" Zoey dropped the rock on the ground. "Maybe Cameron will have a better idea..."
"Ok..." Mike said as they walked along for another few paces, before coming across a huge nest.
"What is that?" Zoey said incredulously, both of them looking inside and recognizing the large amount of eggs, gasping.
Duncan ran back, dropping an absolutely tiny egg into the basket. "And it's 4 to 3 villains!" Chris announced.
"Check it, I had to fight a crazy monster to get this egg!" He bragged as Sierra continued to fuss over the two headed rat, which continued to attempt to claw her eyes out. "It was half lion, half bear, half poison!"
"That's a mathematical impossibility, gosh." Harold scoffed. "The correct term would be one third lion, one third bear, and one third poison!"
"He's a complete liar." Leshawna added. "That eggs way too small to be a bear egg."
"That's a budgie egg." Dawn smiled. "I've raised several before."
"Wow, that's really cool, Dawn." Trent said. "I used to have a budgie once. It flew away one day and never came back."
"Oh that's wonderful!" Dawn smiled, missing his sadness entirely. "You let the bird go free into its natural environment!"
"Yeah, to get eaten by a housecat." Jo added.
"Jo, that's awful!" Dawn scolded.
"It's true. Cats eat birds all the time." Jo shrugged.
"Oh, if only there was some way to go back in time to see this epic battle, that'd be fun!" Chris said condescendingly. "Oh, what do I have here?" He pulled out a button.
"Oh man..." Duncan widened his eyes and sighed as Chris pushed the button and showed the footage. Duncan was sitting on a branch, talking softly to a large mutant budgie with three eyes. "I'm only borrowing this egg." He insisted. "I promise I'll bring it back!" He smiled, the budgie beginning to cry. "Oh no, please don't..." He said, trying to calm it. "Oh great, now you got me crying too." He wiped a tear from his eyes.
Several of the girls let out cries of cuteness, Jo collapsing into a fit of laughter. "Juvie-boy-crying-budgie!" She choked out, laughing so hard she was having trouble breathing.
"Oh come on Jo, it's not that funny." Brick said, frowning. "He's just being nice."
"Ahahaha!" Jo continued, ignoring Brick. "I hope that's gonna be on every blog by sundown!"
"It already is." Cody smirked, handing her his cellphone, where the clip was already getting thousands of views on Tweeter. "The internet never forgets. Oh man, now I really have a good chance with Gwen now that this is all over the web!"
"When do you punch the budgie in the face?" Chris asked, punching his hand. "I'm bringing you back for the next All Star season!" He called after Duncan, who was walking away, bowing shamefully. "It'll be Total Sweethearts, versus Total Bigger Sweethearts!" He laughed.
"So who would be on that hypothetical team?" Noah smirked. "Lindsay, Beth, Dawn, Brick and DJ?"
"Awww, you think I'm a sweetheart?" Lindsay smiled. "Oh my gosh, Kellie, Sarah, you should totally be in the new season!"
"Oh my gosh, that would be amazing!" Katie agreed, and all three of them squealed in unison.
"There go my eardrums." Noah snarked. "Didn't need 'em anyway."
Confessional:
"Sweetheart, maybe" Duncan groaned. "But BIGGER sweetheart?" He growled. "No way!" He yelled and crossed his arms.
"The score is still 4 to 3 villains!" Chris announced as Zoey and Mike began carrying back the giant nest. "But, I see a lot of eggs approaching, it's gonna be a close one!"Courtney ran up and tossed her egg in the basket. "Make that 5 to 3 for the villains!" Chris amended.
"It's ok Cody 1..." Sierra comforted one head, then turned to the other. "It's ok Cody 2!" She cooed, before Cody 2 bit her finger. "Ow!"
"She named them after ME?" Cody shrieked.
"They certainly do look a lot like you, Gap-tooth." Jo laughed mockingly.
"You know, we should only bring back the SANE contestants." Chris commented to Chef, who nodded.
"Well that leaves like, me, Cody, B, Brick, Beth and Bridgette." Noah commented, pointing at everyone. B in particular gave a thumbs up back. "I mean; Sierra, Izzy and Mike are all legitimately insane, Trent has that whole 9 obsession, Staci's a compulsive liar, Justin's obsessed with Courtney, Dawn's a freaky psychic, Eva, I like you, but you're a ticking time bomb..." He smiled at his friend, who sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. "Jo's in the same boat as Eva, Lindsay and Lightning are stupid, Sam sees things in 8-bit when he doesn't get enough video games, Dakota goes on rampages when annoyed and everyone currently competing is crazy too." Everyone glared at him. "Sorry, sorry, I'm just saying."
"You better watch your mouth, Nose-boy." Jo growled, only to have Eva growl back.
"I like you, but I like Noah more." Eva narrowed her eyes. "Watch it."
"Lightning ain't stupid, he knows how to count to eleventy!" Lightning bragged, only making Noah's point stronger.
"What. is. that?" Courtney pointed off screen, the camera cutting to Mike and Zoey coming over with their giant nest of eggs.
"C'mon, nearly there, faster!" Zoey urged Mike, panting.
"Yeah!" Sierra grinned. "O-o-oh-whoohoo!" She whooped.
Mike and Zoey began to run faster, Heather close behind with the villains final egg. "Heather, throw the egg, hurry!" Courtney called, Cameron waving his hands. "It's our only chance!" Heather complied and sent the egg hurtling towards the basket, only to have it conk Cameron in the face and hatch into a baby flying mountain goat, that grabbed onto Cameron's underwear and gave him a wedgie. "Oh come on!" Courtney yelled.
"No!" Heather fell to her knees and screamed.
"Ooh, tough break for team villain." Chris commented, grinning. Mike and Zoey tipped their nest over and sent the eggs tumbling into the basket, the victory noise playing. "17 to 5, the heroes win!"
"Goddamnit." Jo handed Brick ten bucks. "Ten bucks says they win tomorrow!" She threw down another and they shook on it.
"You guys are stupid." Eva laughed.
"Hey, I have fifty bucks from winning against Dakota, I can afford to lose a couple times." Jo laughed.
"Now, before we head home," Chris said. "Did anyone leave anything behind that they'd like to go get?" He clearly looked at Heather, who smirked and walked off to go get her statue.
"Come to mama!" She fished around behind the rock she had hidden it in, not finding it. "C'mon, why can't I-" She gasped as she realized it was gone.
"This is what happens when you're an idiot." Eva snarled. "You lose."
The camera switched to Chris waiting for everyone on the beach, Heather storming up to him. "Rrgh! You took it!" She pointed at him accusingly. "I know you did!"
"I have no idea to what you are referring." Chris said entirely flatly, before calling to the other campers. "All aboard!"
"Oh come on, it's obvious Latin-Legs took it." Jo said. "Man, Old Heather is an idiot."
"I know, that's what I said." Eva agreed.
Confessionals:
"Of course Chris took my invincibility statue, who else?!" She yelled.
"Alejandro!" Everyone said in unison.
"You with your see-all cameras everywhere!" She pointed at the confessional camera. "Well WHATEVER!" She yelled. "I am not the one going home tonight, that I promise you!" She slammed her fist into her palm.
"Oh no." Noah put two and two together. "Guys... I think Heather's coming here."
"Oh hell naw!" Anne Maria scoffed. "I ain't dealing with that bitch."
"I agree with Poofhead, there's no way I'm dealing with HER the rest of the season." Jo yelled.
Suddenly, creepy music began to play as it cut to another confessional with Mike."I have to protect Zoey... At all costs..." Mike said sullenly, struggling to hold a large boulder over his head.
"Oh no..." Bridgette said softly, worried. "He's not going to-" She covered her eyes and Geoff held her close.
"I'm-I'm sure he's not gonna do it..." Geoff said, voice quavering and clearly not sure.
"Is... Pointy... committing suicide?" Jo actually looked concerned.
"No, he's trying to reset." Dawn looked extremely worried. "He is still making a huge mistake..." She sighed.
"Is he stupid?" Noah asked, clearly worried, despite his sarcasm. "He could kill himself doing this!"
"And then Vito would be dead too!" Anne Maria suddenly looked much more concerned. "I mean, I don't want Mike to die either, but Vito is more important!"
"Guys, can we just watch it?" Cody said. "We can't get out until the episode's finished.
Mike raised the boulder over his head and finally let it crash down, groaning in pain. The screen was quiet for a second, before Mike gasped very loudly, and Mal got up close to the camera, cackling. "Bravo, Mike." Mal rubbed his hands together. "That should keep him quiet for a while." He smirked, grabbing a nearby can of hairspray and began whistling 'In the Hall of the Mountain King' while spraying his hair up.
"Oh-oh-ohnonononono!" Dawn shrieked. "This-this is terrible!"
"What-what's going to happen?" Trent rushed over to her.
"Bad, bad things. Cameron will be hospitalized, the island is going to sink, Alejandro's wrist will be broken and it's going to be awful!" She said very quickly, rocking back and forth as she realized she had spoiled the future. "Oh no, I've-I've told you all too much!"
"It's gonna be ok!" Trent insisted, although he seemed unsure.
"Cameron's going to be hospitalized?" Cody's eyes widened. "What does Mal do to him?" He asked, but Dawn refused to respond.
"Guys, the island is gonna sink?" Staci butted in. "Is she serious?"
"Islands can't sink, not without a fracking drill." Noah said, comfortingly, or at least as comfortingly as something he said could be. "Chris probably doesn't have a license.
"Mall is scary." Lindsay shuddered. "He tried to hurt Zellie!"
"I'll still protect you, Lindsay." Tyler smiled, having calmed down from the giant chicken fiasco. "Even if I have to fight that... giant... chicken.." He muttered.
"We-we have to do something!" Bridgette insisted. "The producers can't keep ignoring me!"
"They can, and will." Geoff sighed. "It sucks, babe."
"Durr- I'm Mike!" Mal faked Mike's voice, derping his eyes and pointing at himself and breaking out into mad cackles.
"Ok, if I wasn't so freaked out right now, I'd be laughing." Jo stated.
The camera zoomed in on his head and they faded to another scene in Mike's subconscious. "Oww..." Mike rubbed his head. "Where am I-AH!" He tried walking a few steps, but fell over and found himself chained to a rock shaped like Mal's head. "Oh no..." He muttered, terrified. "Oh no, ohnononononoNOOOOO!" He shrieked, the camera fading out of his mind.
"Ok, I'm gonna be frank, I'm terrified." Noah said, only looking nervous because of his calm nature. "I mean, seriously, we've seen Mike's crazy side try to KILL Zoey, and now he's in charge?"
"Yeah, I'm scared too." Cody shivered. "And yet I still wonder how we're seeing into his mind..."
"It's the tech from Area 51." Staci explained. "Yah, my sister did an expose on it on her news show. Teletoon is getting sued by the government for illegal confiscation of government property, and one of the missing items is a camera that sees dreams." She acted as if this was common knowledge, everyone staring at her in amazement. "What? It was all over the news."
"I saw that..." Bridgette admitted, before pausing "Wait a sec... I saw that on Celebrity Manhunt." She looked confused.
"Oh yah, my sister works there. You've met her." Staci laughed. "BTW Geoff, you still owe me."
"Wait...Sister...Celebrity Manhunt...Geoff owing her..." Bridgette began to piece the clues together in her head. "Is-"
"Yep, yah." Staci interrupted her, answering her question. "I'm not supposed to mention it, so, keep it a secret, kay?" Bridgette nodded, still in awe.
"Is someone going to explain what she's talking about?" Noah asked, and Bridgette whispered in his ear. "Blaineley's WHAT?"
"Show, yah?" Staci blushed, pointing at the TV.
The camera cut to the usual elimination ceremony, the villains walking in. Courtney walked by a bush, only to have Gwen pull her aside. "Hey!" She said, scared.
"Shhh, quiet." Gwen insisted. "Look, I ended it with Duncan, and I am DONE putting boys ahead of friendships." She looked at Courtney pleadingly.
"Aww, man..." Cody sighed.
"Tell me how to vote tonight and I'll do it, I swear." She held out her hand, Courtney glaring for a second before accepting her offer and shaking hands, Courtney whispering in Gwen's ear.
"Congrats on the victory, heroes!" Chris said, the camera focused on the peanut gallery. "Zoey, since you tipped over a dozen eggs into your teams basket, you win a special prize that'll come in handy in the next challenge, but I'm keeping it a secret till then, I mean, why spoil the surprise?" He smirked. "Tonight, a villain goes home." He turned to the villains. "Time to vote.
Voting Confessionals:
"And this is only because I can't vote for Chris." She glared at the camera as she angrily scribbled her marker. Gwen filed her vote without comment.
"She is beautiful, isn't she." Alejandro smiled, eyeing the photo.
The camera switched back to the campfire. "I've tallied the votes, and, tonight's flushee is..." Chris announced. "Alejandro."
"Huh, could have sworn it would be Heather." Noah shrugged. "Oh well."
"Ha!" Heather threw up her hands in triumph.
"Oh, I do not think I'm leaving." Alejandro smirked.
"Oh yeah, reeally?" She said mockingly. "Why is that?"
"He's gonna use the statue." Eva growled.
"Well duh." Noah rebutted. "Of course he is."
Dramatic music played as Alejandro finally revealed his ruse and stood up, everyone gasping. "I've got diplomatic immunity!"
"He could walk?" All four of the eliminated All Stars gaped (Well, actually, Lightning said 'Sha-what now?' but that's irrelevant).
"Leggy-Mclatin was faking the whole fucking time?" Jo raged. "Are you KIDDING ME?"
"I thought I saw him scream, huhhuhuh..." Sam chuckled. "Guess he fooled us, huh."
"Oh my gosh, Alexander was lying?" Lindsay gaped.
"Lindsay, you were there when he revealed he was faking." Cody tilted his head.
"Oooh yeahhh..." Lindsay said, remembering.
"Just immunity, Alejandro." Chris corrected, not reacting to his dramatic reveal.
"You." Heather stood up, screaming. "YOU." She yelled. "YOOUUUU!" She screeched.
"Hate to interrupt during such a well thought out argument, but the only vote that wasn't for Alejandro was for you, you, you!" Chris cheekily interrupted, pulling out the 8' by 10' photo of Heather. "So, YOU are getting flushed."
"NOOOOOO!" Heather dropped to her knees once again
"Oh no." Jo's eye twitched. "She's coming here?"
"I'm not very fond of you, either, Jo." Heather said, everyone turning around to see her sopping wet and fuming. "I HATE ALEJANDRO SO MUCH!"
"Welcome home, Heather." Noah snarked. "We missed you too."
"SHUT UP!" She screeched, pointing at Noah.
"Can we PLEASE finish the show?" Eva growled. "We can all yell at Heather later."
"Why you-" Heather began, but Jo tossed yet another yo-yo at her head, knocking her out.
"Where do you keep getting those?" Brick asked, Jo shrugged and pulled out another one, walking the dog with it.
Confessional:
"Such beauty a toilet has never seen." Alejandro showed the picture to the camera, in an obvious continuation of his voting confessional.
"And who's headed to Boney Island?" Chris asked, only to have Mal immediately jump up.
"I'll go!" He said, imitating a brave Mike. He started whistling the tune again as he walked off to the boat, getting on it.
As Mal finished the tune, Duncan stood up, gasping. "I KNOW that tune!" He looked extremely worried.
Confessional:
"Oh man..." Duncan said worriedly. "I knew Mike seemed familiar!" He shuddered. "When I was a lonely punk in Juvy he was RUNNING the place." He pointed outside. "But back then, his name was Mal." He explained. "And he is BAD news." He shuddered again.
"Mike was in Juvy?" Beth said, scared. "But he seems so nice!"
"I told you guys." Noah shrugged. "And the only question is, how did he get there?"
"I dunno, it probably wasn't anything too bad..." Beth said, clearly not buying her statement. "Maybe he just shoplifted?"
"I know someone who would know." Cody added. "But I'm not asking her."
"Who?" Lindsay asked, as if it wasn't obvious.
"Sierra knows everything about everyone. She knows our clothing sizes, our dental records, how often we go to the bathroom, if anyone knows about Mike's past, it would be her."
"Well..." Dawn bit her lip, everyone turning to her, but she said nothing.
"Now that I have avenged the shame you once caused me," The camera switched to the Flush of Shame, Alejandro sitting at the edge of the bowl. "The slate is clean, we can start fresh." He smiled. "After all, we are a perfect couple-wahh!" Heather shoved him off the edge and into the water.
"Let's do this." Heather glared at Chris, screaming as she went down, showing Chris's umbrella in toilet water.
"Four heroes and five villains remain, who's next to be thrown home from the throne?" Chris asked. "Find out when we return with more Total Drama All Stars!" The outtro played.
Heather groaned as she woke up from being knocked out, glaring at Jo. "Ok, Jo you are going down!"
"Bring it!" Jo laughed, Heather launching herself at Jo, grabbing onto her hair.
"Oh come on, really?" Brick attempted to break the two up. "Do we have to end every episode with a fight?"
"YES!" Both Jo and Heather stopped fighting to yell at him, before resuming their catfight.
AN; Oh my gosh you guys, I am so sorry about the wait. I've been dealing with the dreaded REAL LIFE. And so, the plot thickens. The Mike gets trapped scene would be really scary to see in their world, I mean, he says it as if he's going to commit suicide, and it very well could have killed him. Does Sierra hold the key to their knowledge of Mike's criminal past, and is that more or less terrifying than not knowing? Jo and Brick's auras are red, and so is Noah's. Who does Noah like, and is it exactly who you think it is? (it probably is) Who does Trent's heart turn pink for? (obvious) Why is Tyler scared of chickens? (bad petting zoo experience) Who is Staci's sister? (obvious) Why am I asking questions like an old Batman serial, and why am I answering them? (because shut up) Will Jo ever stop picking fights with everyone? (Spoilers: probably not) Is the Area 51 explanation a terrible cop out? (Yes, but it's an explanation). Please review if you wanna answer the questions! Or review cause I want to know what you thought of this ^-^