The Peanut Gallery

by Starryoak

Total Drama All Stars has rolled around, and the non contestants have to watch. They'll be betting on who's going next, who's coming back, pretty much on anything and everything. Minor shipping possible.

7. Suckers Punched

"What do you mean I have to watch this crappy show with everyone?" Heather asked, fuming.

"You had to last year with Revenge of The Island, I don't see what's so surprising." Trent tried to calm her down, only to have her hiss back.

"Well last year I wasn't competing! Now I just want to suffer in peace!" Heather snarled.

"The doors are locked, honey." Noah said, the last person to come in, the door snapped shut behind him.

"Unlock the doors so I can leave!" Heather threatened him, picking him up by the collar of his sweater vest.

"Woah, Heather, calm down!" Owen said, grabbing Noah's arm and pulling him away from her. "You'll hurt my little buddy!"

"I'm fine, Owen." Noah pulled himself out of Owen's python-like grip and sighed. "Besides, I couldn't unlock it if I wanted to. Just watch the episode and you'll be able to leave."

"Fine, whatever." Heather scoffed, sitting down between Lindsay and Beth, who both groaned and looked extremely annoyed to have to be sitting next to her. "I'm sitting here, deal with it." Heather glared, and both Lindsay and Beth moved seats and sat next to Dakota. "That's better."

"Wow, who stuck a wad up her butt?" Jo snarked. "You're here, you lost, get over it."

"Shut up, Jo. I got farther than you, anyway." Heather snarled back.

"Today's the episode Izzy cameos in!" Owen grinned. "C'mon guys, I wanna see Izzy in her spider suit!"

"Only you would find that cute." Noah rolled his eyes at his friends odd ways.

"Last night on Total Drama All Stars, the campers were treated to a day in the Fun-zone." Chris began the usual episode narration to the episode's clips. "Where anything can happen, except fun." Several of the more painful moments played. "Heather found the hidden invincibility statue, too bad someone else found it after her." Heather's invincibility statue scene played, zooming in on Alejandro.

"He was there when I hid it?" Heather gaped. "That little rat ba-AGH!" She began to yell, but was interrupted by Jo's yo-yo colliding with her face again. "Are you going to keep doing that?" She glared at Jo.

"Yep. Plus, you should have seen it coming, hiding it in plain sight." Jo smirked, continuing to yo-yo. "You lost cause you were an idiot."

"I was not!" Heather protested.

"Can we please just watch the show?" Beth pleaded.

"And Sierra adopted a new, uh, pet." Sierra's two headed rat appeared on camera, Chris clearly concerned.

"Ugh, gross. Of course she chose a rat for a pet, I mean, what else?" Heather scoffed.

"It's worse." Cody added. "It's named after me. Both of them."

"Well you certainly do look like a hairless gross rat, so it doesn't surprise me." Heather laughed, Cody sighing.

"In the end, the heroes got the victory," Chris explained as Mike and Zoey tipped eggs into the heroes basket. "And Alejandro was headed for the flush of shame, until he pulled off the biggest surprise of the night," Alejandro stood up as he pulled out his stolen invincibility statue. "Way to play possum, Captain Secret-Legs." Chris commended.

"He tricked me!" Heather grumbled. "And to think I actually felt sorry for the jerk!"

"Can the heroes hold their lead?" Chris asked, lying down on a lawn chair in front of a pool. "Will the villains live up to their name?" He added. "Will my breakfast get here before LUNCH?!" He called out angrily. "Find out right now on Total Drama All Stars!"

"Hey, that looks like the Playa!" Cody said.

"It's Chris's personal mansion." Noah rolled his eyes.

"Yah, it's made from all imported wood and stone." Staci added. "It was on Celebrity Manhunt's Mansion special." She explained.

"Are you going to keep mentioning that?" Noah asked.

"Well, only when it's relevant, yah." Staci said sheepishly, adjusting her wig.

The camera opened up with classical music playing as it zoomed in on the Spa Hotel, the heroes insignia in the corner. The camera focused in on a boom box, before panning down to the baby two headed rat chewing on two separate ends of the cord until it electrocuted itself and collapsed, Sierra gasping.

"Oh no!" Dawn gasped as well. "That poor thing!"

"I do feel bad for it." Beth cringed. "It's still pretty gross though."

"Cody JR's, who let you out of your crib?" She picked it up, only to have it launch itself at her face, clawing her up. "Ow, ow, bad Codies!" She screeched.

Confessional:

Sierra sat on the confessional booth, holding the rat at arm's length, oblivious to its snarling. "Now that I'm responsible for these little guys, or girls, or one guy one girl, I don't have time to be a relationship." She sighed. "I just hope Camdy doesn't take it too hard."

"FUCK YES, THANK YOU JESUS CHRIST!" Cody yelled out happily, jumping up on his chair, only to realize everyone was staring. "Ok, come on, it's justified."

"Calm down, Gap-tooth, no one cares." Jo rolled her eyes. "She's probably just gonna lose the rat and obsess about you some more."

"Don't spoil this for me." Cody frowned. "If she's done with me, I'm saved! And I can be with my true love, Gwen!"

"Yeah, that'll work out." Noah looked annoyed, rolling his eyes yet again.

"What's that, Cody JR?" She asked the top head as it burped and barfed on her. "Ew." She stated flatly.

"Urp." Bridgette groaned. "I have got to get used to that!"

"Is toast supposed to be green?" Cameron nervously asked the other villains as they sat on their porch eating breakfast, holding a piece of sickly green toast far away from his face.

"Mama calls this penicillin puree," Scott scoffed, taking Cameron's piece away. "Never had a cold in my life." He smirked, stuffing the bread in his mouth. Gwen watched in horror and gagged at that, disgusted. "Well well, wakey wakey Legs-a-fakey." Scott called over to Alejandro as he walked up, finally using his legs.

"Ok, that was a good one." Jo smirked.

"I still can't believe he tricked me!" Heather growled. "I can't believe I used to like him-I mean-" She stammered and blushed. "Hey, where's Izzy? I haven't had my hair played with yet."

"Oh, Izz's on today's show!" Owen grinned. "She's gonna be all dressed up like a spider again!"

"Of course she is." Heather said flatly.

"It truly is a miracle my legs finally woke up." Alejandro said, feigning innocence. "Now they can be put to good use for our team." He said, falsely smiling.

"Don't make me barf, he's being such a-" Heather began, before Jo tossed her yo-yo at her. "STOP DOING THAT!" She screeched.

"Stop talking about Alejandro every time he's onscreen, and I'll consider it." Jo said smugly.

"After today, there won't BE any teams." Courtney said matter-of-factly.

"What are you talking about?" Alejandro raised his eyebrow curiously.

"There are only 9 players left." She explained. "We have to merge soon, and after what you did to Heather, good luck finding an ally, Al." She narrowed her eyes.

Heather looked like she was about to say something, but Jo's suddenly more vigorous yo-yoing shut her up. "Hey, someone's being smart and isolating the jerks!" Jo smirked.

"Yeah, maybe someone will be extra smart and vote him out next!" Trent smiled. "Is he next, Dawn?"

"Wh-why do you think I know?" Dawn asked, startled.

"You always know, Pixie Dust." Jo narrowed her eyes.

"I'm not supposed to tell you anything about the future!" Dawn looked hurt. "I've already told you all too much!" She paused for a second. "Actually, I will say one thing..."

"What?" Everyone asked at once (beside's Heather, but still).

"You should probably restrain Owen." Dawn smiled.

"What? Why?" Owen whimpered. "I don't wanna be re-trained! I'm already potty trained!"

"No, chubby buddy, she means held down." Noah explained, surprisingly not sarcastically.

"Why would I need to be held down?" Owen looked at Dawn, hurt, but she seemed to have resolved to say nothing more.

"Me hold him down if me needed." Dakota offered, crouching next to Owen.

"I don't need to be held down!" Owen insisted.

"Me know." Dakota smiled. "Sometimes me need Sam to hold me down. Sometimes me get angry, and that's ok." She explained, struggling to form proper sentences. "So me just sit here and me will be here if Owen need me."

"Thanks, Dakota!" Owen smiled.

"Awwww, that's so cute I'm going to gag." Heather rolled her eyes, but Dakota simply ignored her, eyes twitching.

"I would prefer it if you would not call me THAT name." Alejandro narrowed his eyes.

Confessional:

"Last night I dreamt about my older, smarter, better looking brother Jose." Alejandro sat hunched over on the confessional. He shuddered. "He always calls me Al, and I hate it!" He put his hands on his knees. "More than mutant fire beetles and conditioners that don't detangle!"

"Oh my gosh he has a brother?" Katie squealed. "I could date Al, and you can have Jose!" She pointed to Sadie.

"Oh my gosh, then we could totally like, double date!" Sadie grinned.

"What?" Heather narrowed her eyes. "You are NOT dating Alejandro."

"Why not?" Katie smirked, standing up. "You said you didn't like him!"

"I don't!" Heather insisted.

"YOU KISSED ON THE VOLCANO!" Noah yelled, apparently he had been bottling that in for quite some time. "Why do you keep pretending that didn't happen? Why was everyone so shocked? Is everyone besides me just socially oblivious? HE KISSED HER!" He ranted, out of breath, shocking everyone with his out of character yelling.

"Woah, dude, calm down." Trent said, nervous.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Noah groaned. "I've been holding that in for a YEAR now."

"I-I hate you!" Heather sputtered, face red. "I did not kiss him, he kissed me out of nowhere!"

"Yeah, after you confessed you loved him!" Cody butted in, interrupting Noah, who was obviously about to say the same thing.

"It's not healthy to keep hiding your affections, Heather." Dawn sighed, walking over to her and placing her hand on her chest. "You really should stop."

"No one asked you, freak!" Heather screeched, tossing her aside, Trent jumping up.

"Hey, she's not a freak!" Trent said, defensively.

"Yeah, that's saying something coming from the guy with the nine fetish!" Heather stomped her foot.

"I do not have a nine fetish! I was under a lot of pressure and I let my worries get the best of me!" Trent continued, extremely hurt.

"Guys, stop fighting!" DJ interjected, both him and Brick shared a nod and pulled apart the two. "Trent, man, calm down." DJ smiled.

"I'm sorry." Trent sighed. "She just got the better of me."

"Calm down, ma'a-" Brick began, but Heather slapped him before he could finish.

"What do you think you're doing!" Jo stood up. "No one slaps Brick but me!"

"What do you care, anyway?" Heather said smugly. "You got a crush on him?"

"No I don't!" Jo shouted. "Don't hurt him or I will crush you!"

"Guys, seriously, I'm fine-" Brick began.

"Shut up, Brick!" Both of them yelled.

"EVERYONE JUST STOP FIGHTING ALREADY!" Lindsay suddenly shrieked. "Trevor, Hannah's just being mean, Janet, that means you too, ok?" She asked them nicely. "I wanna watch the show so later me and Tyler can have some alone time!" She waved her fingers at her boyfriend, whose face suddenly turned the same shade as his track suit.

"Fine, whatever." Heather grumbled.

"I don't care." Jo added, face flushed as she grabbed Brick's collar. "Come on, we're sitting over there!" She dragged him wordlessly to the other side of the room, not even giving Brick the time to speak.

"What's wrong with the name Al?" Scott suddenly stood up, angry. "My sister's named Al... short for Albertha." He stopped looking mad as he explained, happily looking up.

"...Pffftt..." Leshawna giggled. "Who names their kid Albertha?"

"Where I grew up, it's a common name, actually." Beth smiled. "It's not that bad."

"Where did you grow up again?" Cody asked.

"I grew up on a farm." Beth smiled. "It's really a great place, if you don't mind mud."

"She's the county hog caller." Scott continued, before cupping his hands and calling out. "Soo-ee, sooo-ee-OW!" He imitated, only to have a pig come rushing up and panting, pinning him to the floor.

"Ok, where did that pig come from, anyway?" Noah asked. "Does Chris just have a menagerie on hand for whenever it would be the least convenient?"

"Good soon to be painful morning everyone!" Chris announced over the intercom gleefully. "Head to the Chris-osseum, pronto!" He commanded. "Today's challenge isn't gonna hurt itself!"

"Lightning thought the Chris-o-whatever was demolitized or whatever!" Lightning said, annoyed.

"He probably rebuilt it, you know." Staci said. "It's not like he doesn't have the funds for it."

The camera cut to everyone walking along, Sierra having built a sling for her pet rat. "Ehehe-ow-that's enough you two-ow!" Sierra scolded her rats, only to have one bite her finger and the other barf on her.

Duncan suddenly stopped and grabbed Zoey's shoulder, pulling her aside. "Hey, we need to talk." Duncan looked very stern, talking under his breath. "It's about Mike."

"Thank you for not being an idiot and keeping this to yourself. " Noah smirked.

"Thank you for what now?" Heather asked, both annoyed and confused. "And what would Juvy-reject have to say about Mike?"

"You weren't here for this, but Mike's started trying to kill everyone." Geoff explained, only to have Bridgette glare at him. "Ok, ok, Mike's alternate personality is trying to kill everyone." He amended.

"Wait, are you serious?" Heather stopped being bitchy and actually looked concerned.

"Yes, Mal has plans for the horrible demises of everyone." Dawn sighed. "He wishes for control and suffering of others and is holding Mike hostage in his own mind."

"How do you even know that?" Heather looked kind of scared. "I mean, why aren't you idiots doing something if he's tried to kill someone?"

"The producers won't listen." Bridgette admitted.

"Who cares about the fucking producers?" Heather growled. "If he's tried to kill someone, you call the police!"

"Yeah, that'd go over well." Noah rolled his eyes. "Hello, I'm here to report multiple attempted murders by a psychotic alternate personality of my friend that is being recorded on television as we speak." He mimicked a phone call. "I'm sure someone would totally buy that."

"Can we please just watch the TV?" Leshawna asked. "If we're gonna be doing anything, we might as well get up to date on what's happened so far."

"What about him?" Zoey asked, confused. "Wait, are you trying to form an alliance with me while he's in exile?" She pointed accusingly at him.

"What-no!" Duncan's eyes widened and he recoiled. "Look! I knew I knew the guy from somewhere, but I couldn't place it until I heard him whistle!" He explained.

"Yeah, you sound totally sane and believable." Jo said sarcastically. "I know he's telling the truth, but still!"

"I am SO not following you!" Zoey crossed her arms, confused and annoyed.

Duncan paused for a second, before explaining. "When I was in Juvy, so was Mike!"

"Hahahahaheh!" Zoey giggled, before stopping as she realized he wasn't joking. "Oh, you're serious?" She asked, worried. "Mike was in Juvy?"

"Yeah, only back then, his name was Mal." Duncan said, clarifying. "And I think he liked being locked up, he'd cause trouble just for the fun of it!"

"So why hasn't Mike recognized you?" Zoey asked, arms still folded.

"Probably cause I steered way clear of him," Duncan looked up in thought. "But think about it, guy with multiple personality disorder breaks Cam's glasses," He offered an explanation. "He probably broke my knife too, and Sam's GameGuy, and Sierra's smartphone!" He put one finger up for each broken item.

"Which is so out of character for Mike..." Zoey put the pieces together in her head, musing.

"But it's totally IN character for Mal!" Duncan added.

"Hmmm.." Zoey rubbed her arm nervously. "Thanks for telling me, you're so thoughtful and considerate." She smiled.

"No I'm not!" Duncan insisted. "It's just, there's only room for one bad boy on this island, and that's me!" He put his finger up.

"Insecure much?" Leshawna scoffed. "Why can't he just be nice and accept it?"

"It's becau-" Dawn began, but Leshawna shushed her.

"Rhetorical question, sweetheart." Leshawna smiled sweetly. "I don't really want to know.

"Oh, sorry." Dawn looked sheepish.

Suddenly, an intern ran across camera, the two headed rat clawing at his face, screaming. "Codies, leave that interns face alone!" Sierra ran after her pet as the camera faded to white and cut to somewhere else.

"Poor interns." Beth sighed. "They always get so hurt during this show."

"Makes you wonder what the benefits are to working for Chris." Cody mused.

The camera cut to Boney Island, zooming in to Chef walking along the trail. "Mike! Time to head back-AGH!" He called out, screaming when a whole slew of the forest animals came barreling out, all terrified, trampling him.

"Ok, what could possibly scare an alligator that bad?" Jo groaned. "It's an alligator!"

"All animals can sense evil, Jo." Dawn smiled. "Even alligators."

"But why would it be afraid?" Jo countered. "It could eat Mike in a heartbeat!"

"You'd be surprised." Dawn shuddered.

The final squirrel jumped over his bruised body, only to have Mal walk up, stepping on his hand and an audible crack was heard. The camera panned up to Mal's face, not faking Mike's hairstyle. "Hehehe, hey Chef." He laughed, his voice demonic and deep.

"Ok, I am like equal parts scared as hell and extremely turned on right now." Anne Maria gaped. "I mean, that voice, oof!" She fanned her face. "He don't got the bod', but he's got the voice!"

"How is he doing that with his voice, anyway?" Cody asked. "I mean, it doesn't even sound like Mike!"

The camera suddenly began to zoom into his brain, just as it did last time we saw into Mike's mind, zooming into an empty brainlike landscape, Mike fruitlessly tugging on the chains that bound him to the rock he had used last episode.

"Ok, what?" Heather asked, and Staci whispered an explanation into her ear. "Ok, whatever, freaky camera shit, I don't care." She stammered, keeping her cool.

"Hello!?" Mike called out, nervous. "Somebody answer me!" He called again, only to have an odd mirror pop out of the floor, connected to it by nerves. The mirror showed Mal, engulfed in flames and smirking, Mike gasped. "YOU!" He gaped.

"Hehehe, at your disservice." Mal mock-bowed and snickered.

"But I got rid of you, after Juvy!" Mike stammered.

"Sadie, I'm scared!" Katie squeaked.

"Me too!" Sadie agreed. "Why did everything get so freaky when we left the show?"

"Silly Mike." Mal laughed. "I was simply lying low, conserving my energy, waiting for my moment." He explained, putting his hand on his chest. "And it worked, now I'm in charge."

"Those are innocent people you're messing with, you have to stop!" Mike launched himself at the mirror, but the chain caused him to fall to the ground.

"Stop?" Mal laughed. "Oh nonononono, I'm just. GETTING. STARTED." Mal smirked, disappearing from the mirror.

"Nonono, wait, come back!" Mike whimpered, the camera fading out.

"I am SO confused right now!" Lindsay tilted her head. "How was Mark talking to Mark?"

"It's... uh..." Tyler struggled to find a way to explain to his dimwitted girlfriend. "It's like in the movies, ok?"

"Ohh... So when does Miller win and get the girl?" Lindsay asked. "Cause right now it looks like Mall's winning."

"I-I don't know." Tyler admitted. "Sometimes the bad dudes win."

"But you said it's like the movies, the good guy has to win!" Lindsay cried.

"I'm sure that'll happen." Tyler lied smoothly. "But you gotta get through the bad part first before the good guy wins."

"Well ok..." Lindsay smiled. "But this isn't real, right?" She asked. "Cause it's all in Minks head, right?"

"It-" Tyler faltered, unsure of what to tell her. "It's in his head." He settled on a half lie, looking pleadingly at everyone not to explain everything to her.

"Welcome to Camp Wawahnakwa Colosseum." Chris announced to everyone, a boxing ring clearly set up behind him.

"A boxing ring?" Scott asked incredulously, arms crossed, as the camera focused in on a concerned Cameron.

"B-boxing?" Cameron gulped, eyes wide.

Confessional:

The camera quickly cut to Cameron scribbling on a long sheet of paper. "This is the last will of I, Cameron Corduroy Wilkins..." He began dictating.

The confessional cut out to a bruised and beaten Chef walking up with Mal in tow, pretending to be Mike. "Looking rough, Chef." Chris smiled at his co-host/whatever Chef is to Chris from the boxing platform."You have a run in with a big bad baby squirrel over on Boney Island, hmmm?" He asked mockingly, leaning against the boxing ring rails.

"That kid ain't right!" Chef whispered to Chris, pointing over to Mal.

"Man, are you a sight for sore eyes." Mal walked over to Zoey, imitating Mike. Duncan and Zoey exchanged extremely worried glances, confused.

"He looks so much like Mike!" Beth shivered. "How is Zoey supposed to know he's not Mike?"

"She's not going to." Noah narrowed his eyes. "She's not dumb, but she's not exactly the brightest bulb."

"Geoff, can I have your phone again?" Bridgette asked Geoff, pulling a sad puppy-dog expression.

"Babe, I don't think it's possible to do anything." Geoff said sadly. "Look, I'm as worried as the next bro, but you know the producers, they don't care!"

"I know!" Bridgette gave out a frustrated huff. "It's just-we have to do something!" She looked like she was about to implode.

"I'm sure someone's gonna do something, ok?" Geoff assured her, smiling weakly. "I'm sure that, like, after the show Mike will be put in the loony bin and everyone will be-" He realized what he was saying and backpedaled. "I mean, I'm sure that everyone will be fine and Mike will be fine too!" He laughed nervously.

"Greetings playah's!" Chris called out to the campers, grinning his usual grin. "The recipe for today's disaster is a hearty helping of Season 1's no pain, no gain challenge." He began. "With a pinch of Phobia Factor for extra zing." He pinched his fingers together.

"Not hungry." Courtney growled.

"Get ready to sink your soon to be missing teeth into the wheel of misfortune." Chris walked up to the contraption in question, a spinner wheel with pictures on each segment.

"Oh I remember this, Hannah, do you remember this?" Lindsay squealed.

"Yes, I remember, Lindsay, how could I forget when YOU CUT OFF MY HAIR AND GOT ME THROWN OFF!" Heather screeched.

"Good times." Leshawna smirked, ignoring Heather's poisonous glare. "So what's exactly on that wheel, huh? I see... A mutant gopher? Whose fear is that?"

"Mike's terrified of the things." Sam explained, to everyone's surprise. "Hey, I slept in the same cabin as him in this season," He said defensively. "When he isn't talking with his personalities, he's having nightmares. Some of them are about mutant gophers."

"Some of them?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"Yeah, like, other times, he just like, screams and cries. I didn't want to upset him, so I just put earbuds in and listened to my GameGuy." Sam shrugged.

"...That's just sad." Bridgette frowned.

"Ok, so Mike's got issues, I thought you guys covered this already." Heather rolled her eyes. "What are the other symbols?"

"I see a two headed rat... Sierra's pet rats..." Harold pointed to one of the symbols. "And a shark... obviously Scott..." He mused. "The spider is Cameron's."

"But he conquered that fear in the cave!" Brick butted in. "He saved us all by beating up Izzy!"

"Don't remind me." Owen growled, dangerously out of character, before cheering up. "Aww, it's ok, he thought she actually was a spider!"

"Your ability to forgive is amazing, Owen." Dawn smiled. "I only wish I could forgive as easily as you can."

"Are you kidding?" Owen laughed. "You're like, awesome at forgiving!"

"I know it might seem that way." Dawn smiled.

"You are pretty cool." Trent agreed, the faintest hint of a blush crossing both their faces, before they turned away.

"So the spider is Izzy!" Harold deduced. "Gosh, it was so obvious! Izzy is Cameron's fear!"

"Ok, so what are the other things, genius?" Heather asked.

"Well, I see a picture of Courtney, so that's obviously Gwen's fear." Harold ignored the slight jab and continued explaining. "And the budgie is Duncan's fear."

"Duncan's not afraid of the budgie, he loves it!" Jo snickered.

"He's afraid of admitting he can't fight it." Dawn explained.

"There's a picture of some guy I don't recognize, so maybe it's Alejandro's brother, Jose..." Staci pointed out helpfully. "And so the only other one is a bear, for Zoey or Courtney... Courtney more likely, considering the brief marriage during the falls challenge..."

"The rules are simple, spin the wheel, and go a full two minutes with whatever the wheel lands on." Chris explained the rules. "Win your match, and earn your team a point, fights will be judged impartially by Chef and myself." Chris smirked as Chef came up in a garish pink dress, modeled after a magician's assistant's show outfit, high heels and diamonds and all.

"Oh my god that is THE most hideous thing I've ever seen!" Anne Maria covered her eyes.

"Why is he so obsessed with dressing in women's clothes?" Jo shuddered.

"Why do you insist you're a girl when you're so obviously not?" Lightning asked smugly, as if that had any relevance, only to have one of Jo's endless supply of yo-yo's to bonk him on the head. "Sha-ouch!" He moaned.

"Where do you keep getting those?" Brick asked. "How many of those do you have in your pocket?"

"Ten." Jo shrugged.

"First team to win three battles is the champ." Chris finished.

"But who's gonna watch the Codies while I fight?" Sierra asked, her rats still clawing fruitlessly at their insane 'mother'.

"No one, if they value their lives." Chris glared at the insane contestant. "Now let's get ready to pummel!" He started the normal wrestling chant.

"Ok, ten bucks says Cameron gets crushed within ten seconds." Jo tossed down yet another ten dollar bill.

"No one's stupid enough to take that, of course Cameron will-" Heather began, only to find that Lightning had put down a ten dollar bill. "Seriously?"

"Lightning don't know what you guys are betting on, but he votes against Joe!" Lightning growled.

"Uh, hang on!" Mal interrupted, pointing at Zoey. "Where are the rewards you promised Zoey?"

"Eh, I was hoping you'd forgotten about that." Chris sighed, putting his finger down. "But, for being MVP in the last challenge, you don't have to box." Chris put his smiling facade back up. "And the heroes get a point." The giant scoreboard rang one up for the heroes, all of them cheering.

"Oh come on, how is that fair?" Jo protested.

"He did promise her a reward." Brick shrugged.

"Yeah, a reward for her, not the rest of her team!" Jo exclaimed. "I mean, that's such a big advantage, they're already a third of the way to victory without even doing anything!"

"Well they're also outnumbered, and outclassed." Brick argued. "I mean, Zoey and Duncan are great, but they don't have the killer instinct that the villains do."

"But Mal literally has tried to kill Zoey once already, so he clearly has it." Eva countered, getting sucked into the argument.

"Yeah, but he's just one point." Brick said. "The villains still have a fair shot."

"Fine, but it's still stupid." Jo groaned, admitting defeat.

"Since the villains lost yesterday, they go first." Chris said, smirking. "Who's rumble ready?" He asked, arms folded.

"Me, I'll go!" Scott volunteered happily, spinning the wheel. Chris winked at Chef and Chef stomped on a hidden button, the spinner stopping at a picture of a shark.

"Say hello to your foe, Fang!" Chris happily announced.

"Huh-AGH!" Scott looked stunned for a second, turning around and screaming as from under the ring popped the mutant land-shark himself, Fang, outfitted with a rubber mouth guard so he couldn't chew Scott up. Scott suddenly froze in place, eyes blank and staring off into space, terrified. Courtney walked up to him and waved her hand in front of his eyes.

"Hello, Scott?" She asked. "Scott? Scott!?" She continued asking, sounding worried.

"What's up with Sharkbait?" Jo asked, confused.

"I think he's having a traumatic flashback, yah." Staci said. "The treatment for which was invented by my great-" She blinked and covered her mouth. "I'm sorry, it just came out!"

"Traumatic flashback? Isn't that like, what happens to soldiers?" Heather asked.

"My grandad had problems with that." Brick said sadly.

"I think it's like, reliving the trauma chair?" Staci explained her theory. "Like, he's not responding because he's so terrified of being eaten alive again that he's just shut down."

"...That's actually pretty sad." Brick sighed. "He wasn't a team player, but it's not like he deserved it."

"He did intentionally dig in the wrong place when Gwen and I were buried alive, and could have killed us if Dakota didn't rescue me." Sam shrugged, smiling at Dakota, who smiled back but stayed next to Owen. "But yeah, eaten by shark is not really a good punishment, huhuhuh." He chuckled reflexively.

"C'mon bro, move it or lose it!" Chris glared at Scott, pointing back at the ring.

"Oh, I think that's already happened." Duncan smirked. Scott was still in his trauma induced blank state, so Chef slipped on his boxing gloves for him and simply tossed him into the ring. Surprisingly, Scott landed on his feet, but stayed blank and terrified as Fang whaled on him, landing three good punches before he wound up his arm and punched him into the sideline rail, which sent him flying into Fang's outstretched glove for one last punch.

"Yes, that is what happens to those who court my Courtney!" Justin cackled maniacally, everyone else rolling their eyes.

"Wake up and smell the gloves hitting you in the face, Scott!" Courtney rushed up to the side of the ring, Scott half falling off the ring and with a black eye.

Scott looked up into Courtney's eyes, clearly out of it."I likes you pretty lady, hehehehe...g'sleep." He snickered, delirious, before promptly falling asleep.

"No!" Justin groaned. "His injuries have only made it easier for him to win her over! UGH!"

"They like each other, get over it." Heather rolled her eyes. "If Courtney wants to spend the rest of her life with a sleazy farmboy, she can go right ahead for all I care."

"But I am perfect for her and I always have been!" Justin whined, stomping his feel like a little kid.

"Please stop insisting that." Dawn sighed, apparently having lost her patience. "You don't have any say in who Courtney chooses." She snapped, before softening up again. "If she wants to be happy with Scott, you shouldn't interfere because you want her, wait for her to come to you if you really want her that bad."

"Yeah." Trent agreed, smiling, hoping to comfort Justin. "See, when Gwen broke up with me, I could have tried to mess up her relationship with Duncan, but I didn't, because she was happy. It hurts, but like Dawn said, if she wants you, she'll come to you."

"Of course you agree with her." Justin said, looking annoyed.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Trent asked, getting just as annoyed.

"Well it's obvious you're crushing on her." Justin said, Trent blushing and looking away.

"She's-she's just a good friend, ok?" Trent said, not looking him in the eye, also not realizing that Dawn was blushing as well.

"Time's up and Fang wins!" Chris grinned, Fang grinning as well. "No points for the villains, the score remains, 1-0 heroes!"

"See, it's totally rigged against the villains!" Jo said, pointing at the screen.

"Yeah, I'm beginning to see your point." Brick admitted, scratching his chin in thought.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, you overgrown guppy!" Courtney scolded, for a second it seemed like she was talking to Scott, but in reality, she was talking to Fang, who rolled his eyes and ignored her. Courtney groaned as she pulled Scott out of the ring.

"Let me he help!" Gwen smiled, grabbing Scott's feet and lifting him off the ground.

"Sure..." Courtney smiled. "Thanks!"

"Wowee, what happened to Courtney?" Owen grinned. "She's acting nice to Gwen!"

Confessionals:

Gwen gasped, grinning. "Did you see that? Courtney treated me like a HUMAN BEING! WHOOHOO!" She threw one hand in the air in a victory cheer.

"Hey, I treat her like a human being and she isn't cheering about that!" Cody whined.

"Yeah, but you aren't a psycho CIT who's been holding a grudge against her for an entire year." Noah explained. "You get special treatment when you're crazy."

"Plus you hit on her." Trent added helpfully.

"And you hit on her." Noah agreed. "So there's a myriad of reasons why she's not thrilled when you remind everyone you still have her bra from season 1."

"It has sentimental value." Cody said defensively.

"Sentimental meaning that it touched her boobs." Heather smirked.

"Shut up!" Cody blushed heavily.

"Maybe Gwen's paid her dues!" Courtney admitted happily.

"It took her a year to figure this out?" Trent looked like he was gonna pop. "Seriously, she has done NOTHING but apologize to her and trying to make up for it in any way she can and it's just now, when she dumps Duncan that you notice?"

"Calm down dude, it's ok." Geoff smiled. "I'd be pissed too, but you know, just, chill out brah."

"You're right, sorry." Trent sighed.

"Besides, I don't think I need to worry about her kissing Scott." Courtney crossed her arms.

"Ew!" Gwen complained as they carried Scott along. "Has this guy EVER washed his feet?"

"You cannin' the toe jam already, Cletus?" Scott asked, still completely out of it.

"Hero time!" Chris said. "Come on up, Sierra!"

"Why me?" She asked

"Why not?" Chris replied, smiling deviously.

"Good point, heheheheh!" Sierra agreed, walking up to the spinner and spinning it.

"Come on, land on bear, land on bear!" Cody crossed his fingers and legs at the same time.

"It's obviously going to be the two headed rat, gosh." Harold said. "The contraption is rigged to kingdom come!"

"Let me dream, damnit!" Cody sighed, realizing Harold was probably right.

The spinner stopped on the two headed rat, Sierra loudly gasping. "No way!" She turned to Chris. "I would NEVER fight my sweetie pet!"

"Oh, you're not fighting your pet," Chris grinned maliciously. "You're fighting your pet's mother!" He gestured to the stage as the named combatant appeared: an extremely large two headed rat with two tails, and a smaller set of arms between its main ones. It roared, and the babies roared back.

"I am ok with this." Cody smirked.

"Ok, that's just mean." Beth frowned.

"Hey, you weren't there on the plane all season with her." Cody defended himself. "You haven't had all your toothbrushes stolen and given back to you COVERED in drool." He stood up. "You haven't woken up to find that your hair has been cut while you were asleep and have it given back to you in bracelet form!" He added, angry."You haven't been DRUGGED and dragged halfway around the Serengeti by someone who you're pretty sure wants to have sex with you!" He finished his rant, practically yelling at the top of his lungs. "I am having the best time of my life right now because she isn't here, and I actually can spend time with my friends!" He sat down, huffing.

"Damn, Gap-tooth, I didn't know you had it in you!" Jo gaped, genuinely impressed, everyone else staring as well, impressed.

"I'm sorry." Beth apologized. "I didn't realize you were this upset about it! I thought you two had settled your differences."

"I did too! I mean, what changed?" Cody groaned. "One minute, she saves my life and seems to actually respect that I don't like her and then she slowly goes back to crazy while we're watching ROTI!"

"I'm not afraid of a few heads, and a bunch of teeth, and a bunch of claws..." Sierra gulped, realizing what she was up against.

"What are the odds of both Sierra and Scott getting such personal opponents?" Duncan scratched his chin.

"Astronomical!" Cameron exclaimed, bending over in thought. "I think I smell a rat."

"It's the big one in the ring, silly!" Lindsay giggled. "Of course you smell rat!"

"No, he meant- it's not worth it." Leshawna began, but sighed, realizing the futility of explaining anything to Lindsay. "What I don't get is why they expected Chris not to cheat in the first place!"

"Yeah, you'd think they'd be used to it by now." Katie agreed, surprisingly commenting on something not about boys or how scary things were.

"Yeah, I know." Sadie shrugged. "I mean, we didn't even compete in that many episodes and we know that."

"Camdy, here, take the boys!" Sierra ran over to Cameron and dumped her basket and rats into his hands, shocking him. "And, I'm sorry, it's just not gonna work out!" She put her hand out. "I'm breaking up with you!" She cried as she ran off.

"YES!" Cody screamed. "I'm-I mean, we're free!" He threw his hands up in the air.

"Don't celebrate yet." Noah grabbed Cody's hand and pushed it down, not looking him in the eye as he did so.

Confessional:

Cameron was in the confessional standing up, nervously holding the rats. "I've never been dumped by someone I wasn't going out with before, but YES!" Cameron threw up his hand in victory, only to have one of the rat heads bite his cheek. "Ow!"

Sierra stood hunched up in a battle pose, both rat heads letting out a massive roar, blowing back her hair. "Bring it on, garbage breath!" She screamed.

"Five bucks on the rat." Eva put down a five dollar bill, smirking. "Anyone vouching for Sierra?"

"Well, actually... Yeah." Owen sheepishly put down a five dollar bill. "That rat is scary, but Sierra has a really mean chokehold." He rubbed his neck as if it was still in pain.

"Yah!" Sierra launched into a flurry of punches, each of them deflected by the rat's smaller arms. The rat looked down at her as she stopped. "Hehehehehe..." She laughed nervously, only to have the camera cut to Duncan and Zoey's reactions, Zoey looking away and covering her face and Duncan cringing. The rat stopped punching her, Sierra panting and hunched over in exhaustion. The rat gave the finishing blow, knocking her out of the ring and into the air.

"Here you go, Eva." Owen sighed, handing the five dollars over. "Man, I really thought Sierra could do it!"

"That's gonna hurt on landing." Duncan said, just as the mother rat ran up to Cameron and took the baby back, leaving him with only a second to look up before Sierra fell on him.

"Forget what I said, I could NEVER break up with you Camody." Sierra said, clearly delirious.

"NOOOOO!" Cody shrieked.

"You do realize she's talking to Cameron, right?" Noah looked nervous.

"Well, yes, but she also seems to think Cameron is me!" Cody explained. "So she's still dating me. Or, you know, thinks she's dating me." He shrugged.

"I can't wait for the teams to merge!" Sierra grinned, lovestruck. "Then we can be team Camsierraody!" She waved the name out.

Confessional:

"NOOOOO!" Cameron threw his hands in the air, screaming.

"Wow, it's like an extremely nerdy echo in here!" Heather laughed, Jo laughing as well until she realized who she was laughing with.

"Another pathetic loss means it's still 1 to 0 heroes!" Chris smirked. "Villains, you're up!"

"I'll earn us a point." Alejandro walked up to the spinner and spun it.

"I hope he gets Heather." Courtney smirked, Gwen giggling as well. Alejandro got a worried look on his face as it spun.

"Wow, so we'll see you fight Jalapeño?" Lindsay grinned at Heather, who looked at her with indescribable contempt.

"I'm going to be serious and as you a question here," Heather said, glaring. "Were you dropped on the head as a baby or something?" She asked, eliciting a tilted head of confusion from Lindsay and a growl from Beth and Tyler.

Confessional:

"There's only one person I'd like to fight less than Heather..." Alejandro explained, extremely worried. "And that person is-" The confessional cut out to the spinner stopping on the picture of the unknown man.

"Told you, yah." Staci smirked.

"Stop being a Smarty-Parka, it's really annoying." Jo groaned. "Less annoying than the lying, but not by much."

"Sorry, sorry." Staci sighed.

"Huh-No!" Alejandro gasped in fear. "It can't be!" He put his hand to his forehead and looked towards the ring, where a puff of magicians smoke cleared to reveal a very handsome young man in his twenties, wearing a blue version of Alejandro's outfit. Everyone gasped. "Jose." Alejandro narrowed his eyes.

"Wow, Alejandro wasn't kidding, he is totally hotter!" Sadie said, practically drooling.

"Are you kidding me? His haircut's worse than Mike's!" Heather complained. "Alejandro's much hotte-I mean, you know, whatever." She blushed and turned away.

"You're worse at hiding your crushes than Brick and Jo over there!" Geoff grinned, laughing until Bridgette's glare stopped him. "What, it's true, babe! Everyone can see it!"

"I do NOT like Brick! Seriously, why do people keep saying I like him!" Jo yelled, face absolutely tomato red. "I mean, why would I like his stupid bravery shtick and the fact that he doesn't care what I look like and respects my opinions and- SHUT UP." She fumed as she blushed even harder.

"And why would I like her?" Brick agreed, also flushed. "I mean, she's rude and stubborn and brave and she tells me what to do and that makes me feel weird!"

"Wow." Leshawna gaped. "I haven't seen that much sexual tension since Alejandro and Heather were on the plane."

"SHUT UP!" Brick and Jo both said, and then turned to each other. "Stop copying me!" They growled at each other and began to fight.

"Ok, ten bucks says they make out before the finale." Eva whispered to Noah, slipping a ten dollar bill over to Trent so he could keep track of it.

"Five bucks says they don't." Noah took her challenge and slipped a five dollar bill to Trent as well.

"Trent, you shouldn't be helping them bet!" Dawn scolded.

"Well someone's got to keep their money." Trent said, shrugging.

"Fine, but I saw your aura when you were betting. It looked like someone barfed on it." Dawn explained, not realizing she was weirding Trent out. "But when you don't, it's a very pleasant shade of forest green." She smiled, poking his chest..

"Thanks...I think?" Trent scratched his head, unsure of what to think, blushing a little when she poked him.

"Oooh, doggeh'!" Chris giggled. "Does Al have what it takes to stand up to his big bro? Or will baby fall down and go boom? Find out right here, after the break on Total Drama All Stars!"

"Ok, five bucks on Jose." Geoff tossed down five dollars, much to the annoyance of Bridgette.

"I thought we were over the gambling thing..." Bridgette sighed.

"You're on!" Heather threw down her five dollars. "Alejandro will wipe the floor with him!"

"So you-" Noah began a sarcastic comment, but was interrupted by a yo-yo to the head. "What, you're defending her now?" He turned to Jo.

"That wasn't me." Jo said, pointing to a sheepish Harold, who hid his nun-yo's behind his back.

The camera cut back to the ring with a wrestling bell sound, Jose and Alejandro standing at opposite ends of the ring. "Buenos dias, Al." Jose said poisonously. "You look tired, and in need of exfoliation."

"Pffft." Jo giggled. "He's just as girly as Al!"

"There is nothing wrong with exfoliating!" Justin huffed. "I think that Jose is gravely insulting Alejandro!"

"Yeah, because you're the manliest guy around, mister mud masks and facials." Eva scoffed.

"I exfoliate once a week, and the only thing I'm tired of is you!" Alejandro countered.

"Ugh, beat him up already!" Heather growled.

Confessional:

"I knew my dream was a sign!" Alejandro said, annoyed. "My whole life, Jose has been better than me at everything!" He whined. "Academics, sports, and yes, even personal grooming!" He looked angrily at the camera. "Well not this time!"

"Does anyone else notice how high pitched his voice gets when he's upset?" Brick asked.

"Shut up." Heather looked defensive.

"No one tells him to shut up besides me!" Jo growled.

"Guys, we went over this already!" Brick gulped, holding Jo back.

"Enough with the touching family reunion!" Chris whined, hands on his hips. "Start punching each other!" He growled.

"Sha-yeah, I agree!" Lightning grinned. "This wrestling match is lame!"

The match starting bell rang and the two brothers lunged at each other, punching and ducking. Oddly, however, they only landed body hits and didn't aim for the face. "Why are they just going with body hits?" Duncan asked. "It's weird!" He turned to Zoey, confused.

Confessionals:

"It is the family code!" Alejandro explained, holding a mirror. "Not the face."

"Never the face." Jose concurred, sitting in the opposite direction and also looking in a mirror.

"What about that time when you kicked a soccer ball at my face?" Heather yelled at the TV, annoyed.

"Well obviously the rule only applies in fist fights, gosh." Harold clarified.

"Shut up, dweeb, no one asked you." Heather said, earning a glare from Leshawna.

"Looks like the villains are gonna be shut out AGAIN." Chris grinned, hands behind his back. "Or should I say, punched out!" He punched the air with one hand.

"Puns. Are. Terrible." Noah said, yet again sighing as Owen snickered.

Alejandro lunged for a punch and Jose jumped back. "Your technique is almost as embarrassing as the way your girlfriend with the unattractive personality burned you on national television!" He taunted, Alejandro growling.

"Did he just call ME unattractive?" Heather snarled. "Me? UNNATRACTIVE! Oh, you better beat him up for that, Al!" She threatened.

Alejandro growled and lunged at his brother, punching him offscreen. "That's for calling me Al!" He jumped again to pummel him from behind this time. "That's for always hogging the bathroom mirror!" The camera cut to everyone outside the ring's expressions, everyone shocked. "And replacing my soap with a urinal cake!" He added.

"Ooooh, my older brothers did that to me once." Geoff shuddered. "It was not pretty."

"AND THIS... ." Alejandro suddenly began winding up a gigantic punch. "IS FOR CALLING ANY ASPECT OF HEATHER UNNATRACTIVE!" He lunged for the final punch, sending Jose flying onto the ropes, rebounding and face planting to the ground, Alejandro simply smirking and raising one hand in victory.

"WHOOHOO!" Heather screamed. "GO ALEJANDRO!" She grinned, then came to her senses and realized everyone was looking at her. "I mean... You know what, forget it! He was defending MY honor!" She laughed.

"Woah, the villains get a point!" Chris gaped. "And now we all know how Alejandro really feels about Heather."

Confessional:

"Heather?" Alejandro looked straight into the camera, smug. "I know you're watching." He smirked. "Call me." He held his hand out like a phone.

"..." Heather's face flushed red and she struggled to think of something to say. "He-he wants me to call him?"

"Well yes, that's generally what the words 'call me' mean." Noah rolled his eyes.

"Ohmygosh Harriet you've got to call him like right now!" Lindsay grinned.

"But it's like seven o' clock, he'll be asleep!" Heather stammered, trying to think up an excuse.

"Oh no, he's very much awake, Heather." Dawn smiled. "He's waiting for your call eagerly."

"You know, you used to be pretty vague with your predictions." Sam looked confused. "But now you're like NostraDawnmus!" He chuckled at his own pun.

"Well, after I was unable to prevent my elimination or foresee Scott's evil, I spent the last year meditating and honing my skills. " Dawn smiled, moving into a lotus pose. "Now I am as one with fate."

"Ok, so that totally means call him!" Sadie squealed.

"Fine, whatever..." Heather pulled out her phone from her pocket and dialed his number. "I swear, if you're wrong..."

"I'm not." Dawn smirked, unusually confident.

Heather held the phone up to her ear, glaring at everyone to stay quiet. "Hey, Ale-" She began, but was apparently cut off. "What do you mean what took me so long? The episode just aired!" She said incredulously.

"Actually, from his perspective, the filming ended near on five hours ago." Harold checked his watch. "Give or take an hour."

"Yes, All Stars airs at seven!"Heather yelled, ignoring Harold. "Where are you? The connection is really crap wherever it is!" She looked confused. "Boney Island? Why the hell would you volunteer for exile, you already stole the invincibility statue!" She paused. "And don't think I haven't forgotten about that! I still expect an-" Her eyes widened as the dial tone rang out. "HE HUNG UP ON ME!"

"Well you were being a colossal bitch." Jo smirked. "And wait a sec... If Al's on Boney Island... That means the villains won!" She threw her hands in the air. "Suck it, Brick!" She grabbed the ten dollars from his hand. "Thank you for guessing wrong!"

"You don't have to rub it in." Brick sighed. "So if the villains won, and the heroes lost..." He turned to Cody. "You'd better hide."

"Ulp..." Cody gulped. "Where can I hide?"

"I know, I know!" Owen grinned. "You can hide in the beanbag chair!" He pointed to the orange beanbag chair where Dakota normally sat. "There's a zipper to refill it with Styrofoam peanuts!"

"I'm impressed, Owen, that's actually pretty clever!" Noah laughed. "Ok, so what if Mike's the one voted off?" He asked seriously.

"I'm still gonna hide." Cody said, creeping over to the beanbag chair. "Tell me when she's gone."

"You'll be able to hear, Cody." Noah rolled his eyes as Cody climbed into the bag. "And suddenly this seems like a bad idea."

"I've hid in worse spots to get away from Sierra." Cody's voice was muffled, completely zipped up inside the bag.

"Ok, so while he figures out that, can we finish the episode?" Trent asked, confused.

"And we're tied, 1 all, hero time!" Chris grinned.

"Guess I'll go next." Mal walked up to the spinner.

"Ooooh, this will be fun!" Jo giggled.

"Jo, Mal could actually kill whatever he's fighting!" Brick scolded her.

"I seriously doubt it." Jo snickered. "I don't care what you say, Mike or Mal or whatever still has toothpick arms."

"What's the point in spinning the wheel?" Cameron asked, annoyed. "The game must be rigged!"

"Huh?" Everyone gaped.

"Sierra fights Cody JR's mom, Scott fights Fang, Alejandro fights his big brother, the odds are too astronomical to be random!" Cameron explained, as if it wasn't obvious.

"This should NOT be a surprise, people!" Noah groaned. "Chris rigs everything!"

"Hurr-duh." Jo said.

"It does seem a little rigged." Gwen mused, finger on her chin.

"More like a LOT rigged!" Courtney agreed, annoyed.

"How 'bout this." Chris looked rather peeved that they pointed out the obvious. "I guarantee," He began, narrowing his eyes. "The next spinner will have a non specific to their personal terror opponent, ok?" He put his hands on his hips. He nodded to Chef, who sighed.

Mal happily (or at least faking it) spun the wheel. "Just watch, it will be exactly what Mike's afraid of." Cameron said, glaring.

The spinning wheel finally stopped on the symbol of a spider. "Or is it what Cameron's afraid of?" Chris said, the grin almost audible in his voice alone despite being off camera.

"Oooh, yes!" Owen giggled. "Izzy's gonna rock!"

"Ten bucks on Izzy." Geoff threw down a ten dollar bill. "I've seen her beat up Chef before. There's NO way Mike or Mal has any chance of beating that psycho..." He realized Owen could hear him. "No offense, dude."

"None taken!" Owen grinned, still being held captive by Dakota.

"Anyone want to take my offer?" Geoff asked, ignoring Bridgette's cold disapproving stare.

"Eh, I'll risk it." Anne Maria shrugged, putting down a ten dollar bill as well. "I ain't got nothing to spend it on."

"AGH!" Cameron screamed, gripping his head in fear as everyone looked at him.

"I thought you were OVER spiders!" Zoey said, confused.

"That is not a spider!" Cameron pointed to the ring, where a giant purple arachnid was waiting, pulling off the headpiece to reveal Izzy's face.

"Greetings, spider food!" Izzy giggled.

"GAH!" Cameron shrieked like a little girl, running off.

"It's an eight legged Izzy!"

"WHOOHOO, GO IZZ'!" Owen cheered, only kept from dancing by the iron grip of Dakota.

"Dakota, keep a good hold on him, ok?" Dawn instructed, Dakota nodding as if it was her sacred duty.

The challenge bell rang and the two faced off, the camera focused behind Izzy. Izzy sniffed the air and her eyes widened. "Ugh," She stuck out her tongue. "You smell weird!" She announced. "Like a honey cruller wrapped in rotten ham! Good on the inside, poison on the outside!"

"Yes, you tell them!" Noah smiled (an extremely rare occurrence, or at least, rare in that it's not a smirk). "...She's going to keep talking in metaphors instead of warning them about the actual danger, isn't she?" He sighed.

"Probably!" Cody called from over inside the beanbag.

"Even when you're not seated together, you two bicker." Eva snickered.

Mal blinked blankly, before cutting abruptly into Mike's mind, Mike watching through the mirror. "You're right!" He called out, terrified. "Help, Mal is keeping me prisoner in my own subconscious!" He said, reaching out as the mirror retracted. "Wait!" He cried, watching it sink.

"Question." Izzy narrowed her eyes. "Who's Mal?" Everyone gasped.

"Yep, she's going for the vagu-wait a minute.." Noah's eyes twitched. "Did she just reply to Mike's inner thoughts?"

"Yep." Eva said flatly.

"Is anyone going to question this?" Noah looked exasperated.

"Nope." Eva said, in the same tone of voice.

"Izzy's just awesome like that, isn't she?" Owen cooed. "She looks so cute when she's reading people's minds!"

"No one else is creeped out by this?" Noah continued. "I mean, Dawn is weird enough," He turned to her. "Sorry."

"No offense taken." Dawn smiled. "I suspect Izzy can tap into fellow minds when she wishes."

"Again, no one finds this revelation odd?" Noah looked desperately around for someone to agree with him.

"Not really." Bridgette shrugged.

"Am I the only one who thinks about these things?" Noah sighed, hands on his forehead. "Don't answer that." He said, interrupting Dawn.

Confessionals:

"How does Izzy know about Mal?" Zoey asked, incredulous. "That's it, I'm making a deck of Tarot cards." She said firmly, hands on her hips.

"They say the eyes are the window to the soul..." Mal mused, pushing his hair back into Mike position. "Time to SHUT. THAT. WINDOW." He grinned psychotically.

"Dakota..." Dawn said warningly. "Please grab Owen tightly and don't let go until I say so." She said, extremely seriously.

"Ok. Sorry Owen." Dakota smiled weakly as she grabbed Owen in a bear hug.

"Aww, it's ok, it's like a tight hug!" Owen smiled. "A little too tight, but still, a hug!"

The camera cut to Mal covering his face with his gloves, lowering them to reveal an extremely malicious smirk. "Enough chitter-chatter." He grinned, launching himself at Izzy and wrapping his arms around her neck in an attempt to snap it. "Hehehah!" He laughed as the camera cut away to Zoey and Duncan's cringing reactions, snaps and punches could be heard from the ring. Suddenly, the camera cut back as Mal landed a harsh punch on her face, sending her reeling, and another hard cut to an uppercut and an audible crack could be heard, indicating a broken jaw. He punched her into the side of the ring, having torn off one of the fake spider limbs and scratched up Izzy's face. There was a small cut to Chef's worried expression as Mal's grunts were heard. "Nyagheheheh!" Mal lifted Izzy's battered body up and over his head, tossing her out of the ring, screaming.

Everyone had stayed silent through the entire fight, jaws open in shock as they watched the scene unfold. Now that the match was over, everyone was struggling to say anything. "Guys." Eva was the first to speak. "I think he broke her jaw. I've been in enough fights to know that sound anywhere."

"HE BROKE HER JAW!?" Everyone suddenly focused on Owen, who looked like he was about to explode, livid and screaming. "NO ONE HURTS MY LITTLE IZZY AND GET'S AWAY WITH IT!" He struggled to get free of Dakota's grasp, everyone suddenly grateful that Dawn had warned them.

"Me can't hold him down!" Dakota groaned, struggling to keep Owen from getting up and smashing something.

"You've beaten up alligators before!" Jo groaned. "It can't be that hard to contain Owen!"

"GREAT BALLS OF FIRE WILL RAIN DOWN IF IZZY ISN'T OK!" Owen screeched, almost free of Dakota's arms.

"I've never seen him like this!" Bridgette whispered. "He's like The Hulk!"

"I've seen him like this. Once." Noah whispered back. "When Jack the Ripper/Ezekiel locked me in the bus, he was prepared to fight a serial killer to save me! I'm just his friend! He's lost it over a guy he barely knows getting hurt, having his girlfriend getting pummeled by a psycho is just asking for something to go wrong!" He whispered/yelled.

"Owen, Izzy's currently fine and in the infirmary, you don't have to wo-" Dawn stepped up to the huffing and fuming 310 pound teen, interrupted when he roared and broke free of Dakota's grip.

"I'M COMING, IZZ'!" Owen yelled, barreling through the doors that led out to the playa, literally tearing through the solid metal door like it was tissue paper.

"...Dakota sorry." Dakota murmured sheepishly. "Me couldn't hold on any longer."

"That was like a morbidly obese freight train." Heather blinked, shocked. "I've seen him naked and that still is the scariest thing I've seen him do.

"Did he just... break open a solid metal door?" Brick looked over at the Owen shaped hole in the doorway, astonished.

"Nothing stands between Owen and Izzy. Not even the laws of physics." Noah said, as if this was a sagely comment. "Especially the laws of physics." He amended after a moment's pause.

"See, that's what I'm talking about!" Duncan said to Zoey, Mal proving his point.

"Mike got right villainous on that one!" Chris grinned. "But, a point's a point."

"I-He doesn't even care that she got her jaw broken?" Bridgette gaped.

"Why is this a shock to you again?" Noah asked. "I mean, he laughed at Scott being in a catatonic state, so this is actually a step UP in terms of empathy."

"It's 2 to 1 heroes, one more point and they win the whole thing!" Chris said.

"Wow...um...where'd you learn to do that?" Zoey asked Mal as he walked up to her.

"I don't know!" Mal imitated Mike, giving a fake blank pained look. "It's like, I wasn't even in control!" He grabbed her hand with his. "But I feel WAY better now that I'm with you."

"Awww-" Sadie began to squeal, but stopped. "Dangit, he's good at faking Mike!"

"It's not a huge feat to fool you two, Tweedle-dumb." Jo rolled her eyes.

"I thought I was Tweedle-idiot." Sadie corrected.

"You two are so similar it doesn't matter." Jo said, annoyed.

"Next up, the great doubter!" Chris shoved Cameron up to the spinner.

"Ok, anyone got a stopwatch? If he lasts more than ten seconds, I owe Brightning over here ten bucks." Jo pointed at Lightning, who was too busy kissing his biceps to notice.

"I've got a limited edition-" Harold began, pulling out a stopwatch, only to have Jo snatch it from his hands before he could finish. "Hey, that's a Boxing Steve's Boxing Camp limited release, be careful!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Jo ignored him.

Cameron nervously set the spinner off. "Now that Spider-Izzy's gone, anything else should be a walk in the park..." Cameron smiled feebly, as the spinner landed on the symbol for the mutant gophers.

"Or a walk in an underground radioactive mine." Chris amended Cameron's statement.

"One blind gopher won't be so hard..." Cameron said nervously as the ring exposed four separate mutant gophers.

"Keep digging yourself that hole, kid." Leshawna smirked. "Maybe next there'll be ten."

Confessional:

"Me and my big mouth!" Cameron pointed at himself nervously.

All four of the mutant gophers roared, Cameron turning between the two. "Good mutant gophers... nice mutant gophers..." He said nervously, only to have the challenge bell ring and have all of them launch at him. "AGH!" He screamed, the camera cutting again to everyone's wincing.

"Well that was fast." Chris commented on the dogpile on Cameron. "It's still 2 to 1 heroes."

"You're telling me!" Jo grinned. "That was only five seconds! Pay up, Brightning!" She punched Lightning in the shoulder.

"Lightning was betting for Bubblebrain?" Lightning moaned. "Aw man..." He handed over the ten dollars, but not before spitting on it.

"Oh like that's gonna stop me." Jo laughed. "I've won bets against my brothers, I can deal with spit-money." She pocketed the ten dollars.

"Up next, big bad thug, turned lovable lug, Duncan." Chris announced, Duncan glaring at him for the commentary.

"GRRGH!" Duncan growled. "Would you QUIT that?"

Confessional:

"Finally I can prove my bad boy status by kicking butt in the ring!" Duncan proclaimed, hands on his hips. "They're all gonna be sorry the ever called me Captain Sweetheart," He said, accidentally letting in a heavy Canadian accent on his 'sorry'. "Or Mr. Nicepants, or worst of all-" The confessional cut out.

"Duncan Do-Right, you ready for this?" Chris narrowed his eyes, grinning.

"Wow, he sounded like Zeke for a second with that 'sorry'!" Trent laughed. "But, you know, without the whole freaky feral thing." He paused. "Where did Zeke go anyway?"

"Maybe he drowned while swimming to Wawahnakwa?" DJ offered, shrugging.

"Naw, that dude survived a volcano without a scratch, I don't think he could be killed by water." Geoff countered.

"Does anyone actually remember that Zeke used to be human?" Bridgette asked, annoyed. "I don't get why everyone's so nonchalant about that!"

"Well, I remember." Beth said. "It's just a little too sad to think about on a daily basis, you know?"

"Yeah." Bridgette agreed. "But, shouldn't we do something?"

"...What could we do, Bridge?" Geoff looked confused. "It's not like we're psychiatrists!"

"I say good riddance." Anne Maria spoke up. "That freak cost me a million big ones!" She suddenly paused. "Oh, and Geoff, you owe me something?" She smirked as Geoff passed her the money.

"Ugh!" Bridgette groaned, putting her head in her hands. "I give up!"

"Man, I've been itching for a fight all season long!" Duncan bragged.

"Are you sure you don't just wanna give up the point and call it off?" Chris asked patronizingly, hands behind his back.

"There's no calling off the fists of five!" Duncan continued bragging, clenching his fists.

"But you might really HURT someone!" Chris said, continuing his condescending tone.

"Like he cares." Leshawna growled.

"Well then, it sucks to be someone!" Duncan stammered slightly. "Back home they call me snake hands!" He snapped his hands, imitating a snake with them. "Sss-sss-sss!" He hissed.

"Ok then, spin away!" Chris grinned.

Duncan spun the wheel and Chris winked at Chef, who winked right back, pressing the button under his foot. The spinner stopped on the picture of the mutant budgie. "Huh?" Duncan gaped, the little bird appearing in the ring, sitting on a pillow, chirping wildly.

"I believe you two have met!" Chris snickered.

"Bwahahaha!" Both Courtney and Gwen burst out into giggles.

"Wh-where are the rest of them?" Duncan asked, genuinely concerned.

"Rest of them?" Chris looked confused.

"Yeah, uh, cause it'll take a thousand puny birds to make this a fair fight!" Duncan stammered awkwardly.

"He's so cute when he's trying to be bad!" Sadie giggled.

The challenge bell rang and the 'fight' began, Duncan prancing around the bird and jabbing at the air. "Oh yeah, you're going down!" He said, falsely confident. "Get ready, any second now bro!"

"Ok this is just sad." Jo snickered. "Dudcan can't even punch it!"

"I think it's noble that he doesn't want to hurt it, Jo." Brick said nervously, earning more snickers from Jo.

"Oh come one, seriously, how am I supposed to fight something so helpless and weak!" Duncan asked, groaning. He prepared to launch a punch, staring into the budgie's three eyes, which glistened with innocence. He held his punching pose for a couple seconds, but eventually relented. "Aww, man..." He sighed.

"Oh come on, just punch it!" Jo growled.

"Jo, we know the villains win, so it's obvious he's not going to get the point." Brick said, only to be met with a harsh glare from Jo.

Confessional:

"Huhhh...I give up..." Duncan sighed, hunched over.

"Tough break, Snake-Hands!" Courtney smirked as Duncan sulked out of the arena.

"Zero points for Duncan! That'll get some hits on the web!" Chris laughed.

"He's right!" Cody's muffled voice called from inside the beanbag chair. "Sierra just posted it on her tweeter...That means she's been voted off!" He suddenly shut up.

"Ok then, we know who to expect, let's move on!" Heather growled.

"Villains, who's next?" Chris asked.

"I'll go." Both Gwen and Courtney spoke at the same time, raising their hands. Then, they turned to each other and giggled. "No seriously, I'll go!" They both said again. "Oh, hehehehe!" They giggled some more.

"Ok, they've turned into Katie and Sadie." Trent blinked. "That's just weird."

"Gwen, spin." Chris commanded, clearly annoyed at their comradery.

Gwen stepped up to the plate and pushed the spinner, finally landing on Courtney's silloughette. "Courtney?" She said, pained.

"There must be some mistake!" Courtney said, confused.

"Hoh-oh man, I have been looking forward to this match ALL day." Chris chuckled. "Uh, I mean, how random!" He said sheepishly, mock shrugging.

"Doucheface." Leshawna snapped. "Making two girls fight for your sick amusement? That's just wrong."

"...Actually, I think it's kinda hot-" Geoff admitted, before Bridgette kicked him slightly. "-I mean, yeah, that's wrong." He said nervously.

Confessionals:

"Fight Gwen?" Courtney began. "I can't!"

"Ok, who replaced Courtney with an actual human being with a soul?" Noah snarked. "This can't be the same girl."

"Courtney is wonderful and forgiving!" Justin swooned.

"Yeah, forgiving after a year of psychotic fits of rage." Noah said.

"I won't!" Gwen agreed, also in the confessional.

The confessional cut out to the two in the ring. "No way!" Gwen said angrily, before giggling with Courtney.

"Sorry, Chris." Courtney smiled, clearly not.

"Yeah, I kind of figured this would happen..." Chris admitted. "So, as a bit of extra incentive..." The camera panned out slightly to reveal Chef with the TV screen.

"What's that for?" Courtney asked nervously. Chris simply responded by turning on the TV, which turned out to be a clip of Duncan and Gwen making out. The camera switched to Courtney's wide eyed expression as another clip from the Area 51 challenge played, then one on the boat to the playa in season four, Courtney getting angrier and angrier as the clips played.

"Isn't it awesome!" Chris asked, the video zooming out to reveal one of Sierra's many blogs, complete with pictures of Cody randomly dispersed among the actual Gwuncan moments. "The producers found it on Sierra's Gwuncan blog."

"She has a Gwuncan blog?" Cody's gulp was audible even through the beanbag chair. "What else does she have?"

"Uh, let me see..." Sam pulled out his smart-phone and began typing. "Ok, one Gwuncan blog, one Gwent blog that's been closed down," Trent blushed heavily as Sam said that. "One Lyler blog." Lindsay blew a kiss at Tyler. "One Ozzy blog, one Zoke blog, one Gidgette blog," He paused and blushed. "Wow you two make out a lot, don't you?"'

"Yeah, uh, how many clips of us are there?" Bridgette asked nervously, blushing.

"About twenty." Sam shrugged. "Ok, continuing," He scrolled down. "One Aleheather blog..." Heather hissed. "One Samkota-hey, Dakota, check it out, we have a fan-blog!" He stopped, completely distracted and rushed over to Dakota. "Look, there's the time you hang glided into me in the third episode!" He chuckled, and so did Dakota.

"Oh, me remember that!" Dakota snickered.

"Guys, what other blogs are there?" Geoff asked, trying to get them back on track.

"Oh, yeah." Sam chuckled. "Uh, there's one Leharold one." Harold wiggled his eyebrows as Leshawna rolled her eyes, blushing. "And one defunct Duncney one, and... wow." He gaped.

"What?" Bridgette asked.

"Twenty-five separate Coderra blogs." Sam looked extremely weirded out. "Oh, and one Jock blog."

"Jock?" Jo looked confused. "The hell kind of shipping name is that?"

"Uh... Promise you won't punch me?" Sam said nervously.

"No." Jo grabbed the phone out of his hands and looked at the site. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" She screamed, tossing the phone into a wall, shattering it.

"Hey, I just bought that!" Sam whined.

"What was it?" Brick asked Jo, who was fuming and blushing furiously.

"It's a Jo+Brick blog." Sam explained, causing Brick's eyes to go wide and his face to turn a hitherto unknown shade of red.

"If anyone ever speaks of this again, I will hunt them down and gut them." Jo snarled at everyone.

"Uh, Courtney, remember, we're past this!" Gwen said nervously, Courtney still growling. "We're friends again!"

"I guess I'm not as over it as I thought!" Courtney said, raising her fist. "Sorry Gwen, this is going to hurt you more than it hurts me!"

"And there's the Courtney we all know and despise." Noah said.

"Grah!" She punched surprisingly softly, connecting with Gwen's gloves protecting her face. "That's for kissing my boyfriend!" She said, protecting her face as Gwen punched weakly back.

"That's for him not being your boyfriend when he kissed me!" Gwen insisted.

"He totally was!" Beth added.

Duncan suddenly elbowed Alejandro, smirking. "They're fighting over me." He said, pointing to himself. Alejandro said nothing but rolled his eyes.

Confessional:

"See, girl's don't fight over a good guy!" Duncan said. "Total bad guy right here!" He pointed at himself as the mutant budgie from the ring fluttered over to him and sat on his lap. "Awwww..." He cooed, before realizing what he was saying. "Aww..." He groaned.

"Bwahahaha!" Jo doubled over with laughter. "That budgie just won't leave him alone!"

The camera cut back to Courtney and Gwen weakly punching at each other, taking turns and clearly exhausted. "Ok, times up." Chris sighed, clearly bored with the fight.

"Ugh, we're not...done!" Both girls said, preparing to go at it again, despite being bruised and beaten.

"I only came back on the show to make things right with you!" Gwen said, weakly giving a punch.

"I never really missed Duncan." Courtney admitted, punching Gwen. "But I really missed you."

"Hey!" Duncan said, indignant.

Both girls collapsed onto their knees, gasping. "So, friends?" Gwen asked.

"Totes..." Courtney hugged Gwen. "Friends forever."

"The most dysfunctional friendship since... ever." Noah struggled to find a reference, but couldn't thing of one.

"Awwwww!" Both Sierra and Zoey cooed.

Chris sniffled, faking wiping a tear from his eye. "For putting a little warmth in my otherwise frozen heart, I'm giving you both 1 point!" He said, smiling.

"Bullshit!" Heather proclaimed.

"On what, the points or the frozen heart thing?" Jo asked.

"His heart isn't frozen, that implies he has one in the first place!" Heather said, then paused. "But the double points thing is bullshit too."

"That makes it 3-2, which means the villains win!" Chris announced, the villains cheering.

The normal campfire ceremony began, the four heroes seated at the campfire, with Chef and Chris standing by. "Mike was pretty vicious with Izzy." Duncan whispered to Zoey.

"What did happen to Owen and Izzy?" Beth asked.

"They're currently in the infirmary, breaking the rules." Dawn smiled.

"What rules?" Trent asked.

"Rule 1: No guests after 8:00 PM, rule 2: No strenuous activities, such as making out, sexual intercourse or other shenanigans, and rule 3: Only one person per cot. " Dawn recited.

"Wait... which part of rule 2 were they breaking?" Noah's eyes twitched when Dawn didn't respond. "Ok, wiping that image from my memory and never speaking of it again." He shuddered, everyone else nodding.

"Yeah, but it was a fight challenge." Zoey whispered back, defending 'Mike'.

"Makes you wonder though." Duncan said, then whispered conspiratorially. "What if Mike's the alternate personality, and Mal is the real deal?" Zoey gasped.

Confessional:

"After all this time?" Zoey asked, before glaring. "No!" She looked mad. "It can't be...although, when you really think about it...huh, NO!" She put her hands near her face in fear.

"He makes a good point..." Jo mused. "How do we know?"

"I can assure you, Mike has been in charge for years." Dawn smiled, before widening her eyes. "Although, I believe there was a period where Mal was in charge... But for the majority of his life he's been Mike."

"So... Mike's the real one?" Brick seemed confused for a second.

"Yes." Dawn confirmed. "Although some outside confirmation would be nice."

"Oh my gosh, why is there an Owen shaped hole in the door?" Everyone turned in shock (and a certain gap-toothed brunette 'meeped') to see Sierra inspecting the doorframe. "Jeez, what happened here?"

"Sierra, you're supposed to wait until we give the signal!" One of the interns popped out from behind the door, nervous.

"Oh, but Billy, I couldn't wait!" Sierra smiled.

"I-I never told you my name..." Billy looked frightened.

"Oh, it was on your uniform when I went through the interns laundry basket in season 4." Sierra explained, Billy slowly inching away in fear.

"Ooook, uh, I've got to go, uh, feed the carnivorous mountain goats, bye!" Billy ran off, terrified.

"Hi guys!" Sierra waved at everyone. "Oh my gosh, you won't believe what happened to me!"

"We saw it on TV." Noah groaned.

"Wait, Sierra!" Bridgette suddenly realized something. "We need you to do something!"

"Well it can wait, where's my Codybear?" Sierra looked around, the beanbag chair suddenly gone (hidden behind Dakota, shivering).

"..." Bridgette got a devious look on her face. "I'll tell you where Cody is..." She began, and Cody could almost be heard groaning. "If you tell me everything you know about Mike!"

"Oh come on!" Cody whispered almost inaudibly to no one in particular.

"Why do you want to know?" Sierra asked, then got an odd look on her face. "Are you cheating on Geoff with Mike? Do I get to start a Brike fanpage?"

"No!" Bridgette looked shocked and shook her head quickly. "Look, we really need you to tell us everything you know about Mike, ok?"

"Ok... But I'll keep that page on standby." She purred. "Ok, everything I have on Mike..." She pulled out a laptop from nowhere and opened it up, sitting down on the beanbag chair, not noticing Cody squeaking. "Ok, here we go." She opened a document and cleared her throat. "Michael Smith; Height 5'7, weight: 117 pounds on the plane to All Stars when I checked..." She recited. "Hair color: Brown, Race: Inuit, Eye Color: Brown, Sex: Male... (Identifies as female when Svetlana)-" She got cut off by Jo

"Skip the physicals!" Jo snarled.

"Ok, ok, ok." Sierra said defensively. "Favorite color: Blue (Pink when Svetlana, Red when Vito, Gold when Manitoba, and Chester just complains about how color TV is ruining our generation, further research required, frowny face." She said her emoticon out loud and giggled.

"We need to know his criminal record." Jo facepalmed.

"Ooooh, well why didn't you say so, silly!" Sierra snickered and scrolled down, still squishing Cody. "Ok, first off, he's been called to court twice for property damage caused while Svetlana, once while Manitoba, and was arrested for arson when he was 14 and incarcerated in a Manitoba Juvenile Detention Center for seven months."

"Arson?" Bridgette gaped.

"Yes, arson. I did some digging around and found out he burned down the house of one of his classmates." Sierra explained. "Uh, his therapist is one Dr. Nadia Bloom, and he's been seeing her for over seven years."

"Um, can we go back to the Juvy? Duncan said something about him terrorizing inmates there, does your research concur?" Bridgette tried to get her back on track.

"Oh, yeah, Mike was in there for only seven months, but he racked up quite a criminal record." Sierra said casually, getting up. "This beanbag chair is too lumpy." She frowned and moved over to the empty chair next to Noah, Cody sighing in relief.

"Criminal record?" Noah asked.

"Several cases of physical assault and psychological threats, breaking bones, vandalizing property and there were several unproved cases of carving things into other inmates, and there was even a court summons to decide if he should be transferred to an adult prison." Sierra read from her notes. "Wow, he really was a bad seed, wasn't he!"

"...You knew all this for how long?" Bridgette asked, the only one not speechless.

"Oh, uh, a couple weeks before Revenge of The Island aired." Sierra shrugged.

"...And you didn't tell anyone?" Bridgette looked like she was going to explode.

"It never came up." Sierra looked sheepish. "Plus, he was released on good behavior, so I figured that it wasn't a big deal."

"Ok, Sierra..." Bridgette began. "Don't get freaked out, ok?"

"By what?" Sierra tilted her head.

"Mike wasn't in charge during Juvy, it was an evil personality called Mal." Bridgette explained. "He's been re-awoken by Scott hitting him in the head with the shovel in the beach challenge, and is currently in control and has broken Izzy's jaw and attempted to kill Zoey and Cameron."

"Not Camdy!" Sierra squealed. "I thought something was wrong with him when he was fighting Izzy..." She mused. "Ok, so I've told you what you wanted to know, where's Cody?" She grinned. "I want to celebrate!" She purred the last word.

"Uh... I think I saw him on the sundeck?" Bridgette bluffed nervously.

"Oh silly Cody, doesn't he know he can't tan?" Sierra giggled. "Well, see you guys, I've got a Cody to catch!" She clapped her hands and ran off through the Owen hole in the door.

"...I didn't actually think that would work..." Bridgette scratched her head. "You can come out, Cody."

"Oh thank god!" Cody crawled out of the beanbag chair. "I thought I was gonna die!"

"Ok, so we know what we're up against now." Jo said. "A psychotic arsonist that shares the body of someone some of us are friends with."

"Don't forget the physical assault, yah." Staci added.

"Yeah... Everyone on the island is screwed." Jo concluded.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm doing something!" Bridgette groaned. "I'm not even going to call them, I'm going to go to the producers directly!" She got up. "Geoff, are you coming with me?" She asked her boyfriend.

"Uh..." Geoff stammered nervously, before Bridgette grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him up.

"You're coming with me." She said flatly, dragging him out the door. "We'll be back when we've got something productive done!" She called back to the room.

"Well... that was something." Sam chuckled reflexively, not actually finding it funny.

"There's still like three minutes left on the show..." Trent pulled out the remote. "Let's at least finish it." He smiled as everyone nodded, still stunned from the massive drama bomb dropped on them.

"Hey guys, what are you talking about?" Mal turned to Zoey and Duncan, feigning innocence.

"Nothing!" Zoey said quickly.

"Uh, cars!" Duncan said at the same time.

"Ok, before we send another player to the sewers, I have a wee announcement to make." Chris said.

"Here comes the merge!" Courtney whispered giddily to Gwen, the camera panning up to Alejandro.

Confessional:

"After today's show of excellence," Alejandro grinned. "I don't need an ally when we merge. I'm a one man winning machine!"

"Pfft, more like a one man hang up machine!" Heather scoffed, still clearly upset over that.

"Tonight, the winners get to chose which player is eliminated from the losers team." Chris announced, everyone gasping. "Hold that gasp." Chris interrupted. "And the losers are the choosers of which winner goes to Boney Island."

"That explains why Alejerkdro was at Boney Island!" Jo smirked.

"And the teams are NOT merging!" Chris paused. "Now you may gasp." He said, everyone doing so. "And there it is." He smirked. "Now, villains, who's going home tonight?" He asked.

There were a couple seconds of inaudible muttering, before Gwen spoke up. "We've decided-" She began.

"Reluctantly, very reluctantly!" Cameron interrupted.

"To eliminate..." She paused as the normal nervous seconds of back and forth played. "Sierra."

"Meee?" Sierra whined. "But why?"

"You have a real Cody back home who needs you!" Cameron smiled sweetly. "For some reason..." He added, confused. "Now run Sierra, run to him!"

"No, no I don't!" Cody shrieked. "Damn you Cameron!" He shook his fist.

"That's a little harsh, don't you think?" Beth asked. "You'd do the same if your positions were reversed."

"True, true."

"You mean swim," Chris corrected. "But, before Sierra takes the Flush of Shame, which villain is going to exile on Boney Island?" He asked. "Heroes?"

"Alejandro!" The all pointed at him in unison.

Confessional:

"Guy's a threat." Duncan said, arms crossed. "Mal's just lucky we couldn't vote for our own tonight." He added, glaring at the camera.

"Nyeghehehehehe!" Sierra cried, sitting in the bowl of the Flush of Shame.

"Sorry again!" Gwen said sadly. "Say hi to Cody for me!"

"Hi, Gwen!" Cody smirked, even though he was only talking to a recording. "Oh come on, a man can dream." He shrugged when everyone looked at him.

"And make more of those Gwuncan videos!" Duncan added, Gwen rolling her eyes. "What?" He said defensively.

"Hold your breath!" Chris grinned, pulling out his umbrella.

"I'm coming, Cody!" Sierra screamed as she flushed down the drain.

"Big brothers, former competitors, surprising twists," Chris narrated, tossing his umbrella away. "Can we top it? You better believe we can!" He grinned. "Next time, on Total Drama All Stars!"

"Ok, that's it for tonight." Beth shrugged, walking out, most of the others following, besides a select few.

"Hey, uh, Noah?" Cody turned to Noah awkwardly. "Remember a couple nights ago when you said I could bunk with you?" He said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Yeah..." Noah could tell where this was going.

"Well, I can't exactly stay in my room..." He trailed off. "And Sierra doesn't know the combination to your door..."

"So you want to sleep with me." Noah said, glaring at Eva as she snickered. "Not. Another. Word." He growled.

"Whatever, Fruitcake." Eva rolled her eyes and left.

"Well, yeah." Cody blushed. "But, not like that, no way!" He waved his hands in front of him in denial.

"Well duh." Noah said shakily. "Come on, if we get there fast enough, we can escape before Sierra realizes you're not on the roof." He walked out of the door, Cody running after him.

"Awwww..." Katie grinned. "I think Noah has a crush!"

"Are you kidding me?" Sadie disagreed. "He's just being friendly."

"Nuh-uh, no way, there were totally sparks!" Katie insisted. "Dawn, what do you think?" She looked for the little pixie girl, only to find that she had vanished. "Dawn?" She called out. "Where'd she go?" She asked Sadie.

"I dunno... Wanna go to our rooms?" Sadie shrugged, and Katie nodded, skipping off together.

"...Want to look at Samkota blog?" Dakota asked Sam awkwardly, the only two left in the room.

"Yeah, huhuhuhuh!" Sam pulled out another phone (never leave home with only one gadget with internet access, folks) and they giggled as they read the blog.

AN; Don't expect updates this quick so often, but I just blazed through this. Man, we got some plot thickening up in this bitch! I am so sorry about the NoCo... Ok I'm not at all sorry. Jock also happened. If you're wondering why I put down that Izzy got her jaw broken, go and watch that scene again, and turn the audio up. You can hear bones cracking when Mal uppercuts Izzy. Which means it's canon. And we got some insight into my Mike headcanons! And of course, time for the questions!: Will Tyler keep Lindsay in the dark to preserve her innocence? (probably) What exactly is on that Jock blog, considering they haven't got together? (Lots of shippy moments) Where does Jo keep getting her yo-yo's? Will Eva win her bet? What part of rule 2 did Izzy and Owen break? (I'm leaving that up to you) How did Sierra fail to mention Mike's criminal record before? (Too busy obsessing over Cody) How did she measure Mike's weight? (very sneakily) Is Katie right and did sparks fly, or is Sadie right and they're just friends? ( ;3 ) Is the Samkota blog the cutest thing ever? (Yes) What exactly is on those Coderra blogs? (You don't want to know) Will Bridgette ever get the producers to care about the safety of the contestants? (Not really). Please please PLEASE answer in your review!