The Peanut Gallery

by Starryoak

Total Drama All Stars has rolled around, and the non contestants have to watch. They'll be betting on who's going next, who's coming back, pretty much on anything and everything. Minor shipping possible.

9. You Regatta Be Kidding Me

"We've got Movie Sign!" The announcement came over the intercom as Cody burst into the room, manic and terrified.

"Dude, calm down, it's just-" Noah began, only to have Cody grab his shoulders and shake him.

"No it's not ok!" Cody gulped. "I have to hide, Sierra's coming, and I don't think my diversion will hold for long!"

"Ok, ok, but how is shaking me going to do anything to help this situation?" Noah said, prying Cody's hands off his shoulders.

"I don't know, think of something!" Cody whined as the others began filing in.

"I bet you could hide in the rafters like Izzy!" Owen grinned, Noah turning around to face his enormous friend.

"Yeah, but how is he supposed to get up there?" Noah asked.

"Like this!" Owen suddenly grabbed Cody as if he were a football and tossed him up into the rafters. "You ok up there?" He added as an afterthought as everyone else filed in.

"Y-yes!" Cody called down, clinging like a cat to one of the rafters. "Although a little warning would have been nice!" He added.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking!" Owen called up, attracting everyone's attention to the rafters. "I just figured it would be a quick solution!"

"Ok, we get it." Noah shushed his friend. "Now shhhh, we don't want to blow his cover!"

"Oh, ok!" Owen laughed. "No Cody's here, nope!" He snickered nervously.

"...I would question whether this plan would work, but that would be putting too much faith in Sierra's intelligence." Eva walked up behind Noah, startling him. "Where's Izzy, anyway?" She asked Owen.

"Oh, she's supposed to stay in the infirmary for today." Owen shrugged.

"CODY!" Sierra suddenly burst through the doors, pushing several contestants aside, almost foaming at the mouth. "Where's my Codykins?" She screamed.

"Uh..." Owen stammered. "I-uh..."

"He's sick!" Bridgette suddenly jumped in. "He's sick and he couldn't be here today!" She subtly looked up at Cody, who was grinning at her and nodding happily.

"Oh no!" Sierra whined. "Where is he?" She asked, apparently completely buying it.

"In the infirmary." Owen quickly caught on to the scheme. "He's hanging out with Izzy while they both get better!"

"I've got to go save him!" Sierra squealed, rushing towards the door, tugging on it.

"It's no use." Heather rolled her eyes. "It locks. And since they reinforced it with steel, I doubt you can break through it."

"But-but Cody!" Sierra wailed, blubbering incoherently.

"It's ok Sierra..." Bridgette walked up to her and smiled weakly.

"It's not ok!" Sierra cried. "It's no-kay!"

"...I thought you already used that line." Noah said.

"It's just as applicable here!" Sierra suddenly snapped out of her crying to glare at Noah, before returning to it.

"Well..." Bridgette scratched her head. "You can at least watch the show?"

"What good is the show?" Sierra snapped. "I want my Codykins!"

"...Cameron's on the show!" Bridgette clapped her hands together. "And your fans will want you to keep them updated on the show, right?"

"I-I guess..." Sierra sniffled. "But I still miss my Cody-Wody!" She pouted, several guys snickering.

"And I'm sure he misses you." Bridgette said, Cody shaking his head 'no' as vigorously as possible.

"...Fine." Sierra huffed. "Camdy is better than no Cody at all."

"...You disturb me." Jo said, glaring.

"Jo, don't provoke her!" Brick whispered.

"Don't stand so close, Private!" Jo snapped. "I don't want captain 'investigative reporting' over there to get any ideas." She pointed at Sierra.

"But-" Brick stammered.

"No buts, soldier." Jo glared at him. "You're court martialed!" She pointed at the other side of the room.

"I don't think you're using that term correctly, Jo." Harold said, only to have Jo toss a yo-yo at his face. "Ow, gosh!" He rubbed his nose.

"I wonder what that explosion was." Staci said, intrigued.

"We can't find out until we watch the show." Trent shrugged, turning to the TV

"Last time on Total Drama," Chris announced as the recap began.

"Hey, he forgot to say All Stars." Harold pointed out.

"Literally no one cares, Harold." Jo groaned.

"A brutal mutant fisticuffs free for all," Sierra VS the giant rat played. "Proved beyond all doubt, that these guys will do ANYTHING for a million bucks."

"I hope the Cody JR's are at least happy with their real mommy..." Sierra sniffled, Staci handing her a handkerchief.

"Did you know handkerchief's were invented-" Staci began, but quickly cut herself off. "Sorry, sorry, trying to get rid of that is hard, yah." She sighed.

"Even newly re-friended Courtney and Gwen had to battle it out." Chris chuckled as Courtney and Gwen's slapfight was shown. "The villains ruled victorious," He said. "But, in a last minute twist, the villains got to send a loser hero home, and the heroes got to send a winner villain to exile."

"Ok, uh, guys?" Sierra asked. "Last time you said Mike was taken over by an evil personality?"

"...Dawn, can you explain it to her?" Trent turned to a nearby Dawn, who nodded and walked over to Sierra, sitting down and whispering in her ear as the rest of the cast continued watching.

"So, it was see you tomorrow Alejandro, and see you never Sierra!" Chris announced, standing on top of the Flush of Shame. "Only eight players remain, and none of them are ready for how everything is about to change." He grinned. "Right here, right now, on Total Drama All Stars!" The camera panned out as normal.

"So if Mal is in charge and pretending to be Mike," Sierra asked Dawn, musing. "And Mike is dating Zoey, does that mean I get to set up a Zal fanblog?"

"...Wow, I can't believe how utterly you missed the point." Noah gaped, annoyed.

"No, Sierra." Dawn frowned. "Mal feels nothing for Zoey." She said sharply. "In fact, he feels a burning desire to crush her and watch Mike's devastation at her demise."

"...Ok, wow, that's..." Geoff looked shocked. "That's just not cool."

"...So, no Zal fanblog then?" Sierra blinked, and Dawn shook her head no.

"Again, did you miss the part where he wants to kill Zoey?" Noah yelled (or at least raised his voice). "He broke Izzy's jaw! Izzy!" He emphasized. "The crazy redhead who regularly beats up Chef for his lunch money, and Mal just takes her out in one punch!"

"When you put it that way, it is kind of worrying..." Sierra admitted.

"Ahhh..." Gwen sighed happily as the camera zoomed in on the villains side. "I just dreamt I was riding a fluffy unicorn across clouds made of marshmallows."

"I think that is the most un-Gwen thing I've ever heard." Leshawna gaped. "What's up with her? She's acting... happy and well adjusted!"

"...Gwen is kind of creeping me out." Trent said. "And I thought I'd never say that."

"Courtney is majestic, isn't she." Justin swooned, apparently not even listening to Trent.

"...I'm going to just ignore that." Trent said nervously.

"Unicorns?" Cody whispered, on the rafter above Noah. "Who is this and what have they done with Gwen?"

"Cody?" Sierra perked up, and looked around, Cody making a squeaking noise and freezing up. "Did anyone else just hear Cody?"

"...Uh, nope!" Noah laughed nervously, whispering to Cody. "I've got you covered."

"Really?" Sierra whined.

"Nope, I'm sure you've just lost what little bit of your mind you had left." Noah smirked.

"You're a meany-pants, you know that?" Sierra growled, only to receive a shrug back.

"Yeah, they're soft beds alright." Courtney agreed, walking over and sitting on the side of Gwen's bed, only clad in her underwear.

"A couple of days ago, I was ready to quit." Gwen admitted, putting a hand on Courtney's shoulder. "Now that we're friends again, I never want it to end!"

"I hope we make it to the finale together!" Courtney swooned.

"What about Scott?" Gwen asked.

"He's cool and all, but like you said, you gotta put friends first." Courtney admitted.

"Awww..." Gwen sighed. "If I don't win the million bucks, I hope you do!" They said at the same time.

Confessional:

"And I mean it, too!" Gwen and Courtney both said, the confessional split to show both of their clips side by side.

"Hoo-boy." Sierra whistled. "At this rate this is going, I might have to make a Gwentney fanblog!"

"Have you made a Justney fanblog?" Justin asked, trying to change the subject.

"Uh, nope!" Sierra shrugged. "You two never got together and Courtney doesn't even like you!"

"...But-but..." Justin looked like he was about to explode on her.

"Wait, so Justin actually is crushing on Courtney, and they don't get a fanblog, but me and Brickhouse don't even like each other and we get one?" Jo complained.

"Yeah, that is a little unfair." Brick agreed, still sitting across the room.

"Don't agree with me, she'll get ideas." Jo snapped.

The camera cut to Scott holding a glass up to the wall of his room. "Good morning Scott!" Cameron said from off camera.

"No, it's not." Scott glared. "These walls are way too thick! Speak up!" He yelled.

"Oh dude this totally reminds me of when me and Duncan spied on the girls cabin in the first...season..." Geoff began happily but faltered as all the original girls turned to him angrily. "Uh, I mean-"

"Geoff!" Bridgette growled. "What did you do?"

"It was like two years ago, babe!" Geoff said defensively. "We were just messing around!"

"...Fine." Bridgette huffed, clearly still bothered.

"Well, as long as Sierra is far far away, I'm good!" Cameron laughed.

"Camdy?..." Sierra's eyes watered.

"And here comes the waterfall, folks." Noah groaned as Sierra began blubbering.

"Camdy... didn't like me?" Sierra said, voice quavering as she held back tears.

"No one likes you!" Jo snapped.

"Jo!" Bridgette said, annoyed. "Don't say that!"

"It's true though!" Jo groaned. "Literally everyone either is creeped out by you or hates your guts."

"That's-it's not true!..." Sierra wailed.

"Jo!" Bridgette growled. "Now look what you did!"

"Well it is true." Heather shrugged. "I do hate her guts."

"Bu-but..." Sierra blubbered incoherently again, sobbing loudly.

"It's ok, Sierra..." Staci tried to console her. "Cody still loves you!" She added. "I'm sure when he's all better, he'll, like, give you a hug, yah?" She said nervously, looking up at Cody as if to say 'I am so so sorry for whatever she does to you'

"Are you sure?" Sierra sniffled.

"Yes, I'm sure." Staci smiled.

"Great, now I have to or I'll look like a giant jerkwad..." Cody sighed to himself quietly.

"Don't be too sure." Scott smirked deviously. "Just cause she's gone, don't mean you're safe." He said, as Cameron opened his eyes wide in fear.

Confessional:

"Being on the villains team is so nerve-wracking!" Cameron said, scared. "I've started sleeping with one eye open and now I can't blink it!" He moved up to the camera and blinked one of his eyes, the other staying wide open. "See!"

"Oh my god I feel his pain." Cody whimpered, clinging to the rafters.

"But he just closed both of them before!" Harold said. "Gosh, I hate when people exaggerate."

"Is that so, mister 'I can totally take Larry with my hands tied behind my back!'?" Leshawna smirked and Harold blushed sheepishly.

Confessionals:

"I had to throw him off." Scott said, annoyed. "The heroes are taking over the villains team!" He complained. "Gwen's a wannabe, and with Cameron and Courtney, me and Alejandro are outnumbered!" He folded his arms. "If I was back home right now, I'd be barricading myself in the cellar with enough potatoes and toilet paper to last till the next millennium!"

"...Another glimpse into the fucked up home life of Scott." Eva rolled her eyes.

Confessional:

"Everyone thinks I've gone soft and lost my edge!" The confessional suddenly cut to Duncan looking extremely worried. "I'll show them who's gone soft, I'll show 'em all!" He pointed at the camera menacingly.

"Oh Duncan..." Dawn said sadly. "You did chose the wrong path..." She sighed.

"What wrong path?" Beth asked worriedly.

"Oh, just the path that he should not have taken." Dawn frowned.

"You know, you can just give a straight answer." Leshawna said, slightly annoyed.

"I prefer to err on the side of caution." Dawn shrugged.

The confessional cut out to Duncan holding a purple spray can and shaking it. "How 'bout a classic skull and crossbones!" He snickered, painting it as Zoey walked up behind him.

"Awwww, what a cute bunny!" Zoey cooed, hands together.

"Ugh!" Duncan yelled and ran over to her. "Don't call me that!" He glared at her.

"I was talking about your painting!" Zoey looked confused.

"Huh?" Duncan looked over at his spray painted graffiti skull, which did indeed resemble a bunny. "It's not a bunny, it's emotional graffiti!" He groaned, tossing the can at the wall, it rebounded and hit him in the head.

"Emotional graffiti that looks like a bunny!" Jo cackled, doubling over in laughter. "Man, Duncan's a total riot!"

"Aww, he's so cute when he's trying to be bad!" Beth giggled.

"Yeah, Donald is so funny!" Lindsay agreed, also giggling.

"Agh, I'll show them... Whatever!" Duncan grumbled, walking over to Chef's car. "That's it"! His eyes lit up. "I'll drive Chef's ride into the ocean!" He jumped into the car happily. "Then we'll see who's not a delinquent!"

"Yeah, I can't see this going wrong." Noah rolled his eyes.

Duncan started the car, only to find that it sputtered out. "Huh..." He said, confused. "Must be something with the starter..." He walked over to the hood and opened it up. "Let's see.." He looked into the car and began fiddling with it.

"Attention campers!" Chris announced over the intercom, Duncan looking up. "Please gather around front!" He added. "Right where Duncan's being all... sweet."

"Ugh, no I'm not!" Duncan growled as everyone gathered around him, Chef getting into his car.

"Duncan, you fixed my Jeep!" Chef said happily. "You're a good kid." He drove off.

"He just ain't getting a break, is he?" Anne Maria chuckled.

Confessional:

"Ugh!" Duncan gritted his teeth and facepalmed.

"He went all the way into the confessional to say that?" Noah scoffed.

Alejandro was standing in between Zoey and Duncan when Duncan walked off. "Wow, you survived a whole night on Boney Island without so much as a scratch?" Cameron walked up and asked him, impressed. "I'm impressed! How'd you pull it off?"

"It is all about attitude." Alejandro smirked, tilting his head away from Cameron.

"The attitude of hanging up on your girl-" Heather began, before freezing as she realized what she said, face flushed. "I mean-UGH!" She growled.

"Remember our little talk about this?" Dawn asked soothingly, only causing Heather to grit her teeth and growl.

The camera cut to Boney island last night, a bear roaring at Alejandro, only to stop when he spoke up. "My, your breath is powerful!" Alejandro said, putting his hand under the bears chin. "It is almost as compelling as your eyes." He smiled, and the camera focused in on his flirty face, pink hearts in the background, the bear happily falling to the ground.

"The irony being that the bear is a dude." Trent smirked.

"Hey, he flirted with Tyler that one time, didn't he?" Noah said, also smirking.

"I like girls!" Tyler shouted, startled. "And he called you his little porpoise!" He said accusingly, Noah blushing slightly, although more out of embarrassment than anything else.

"And he stole Cody from me that one time!" Sierra grumbled. "Let's face it, Alejandro flirts with all genders."

"Yeah yeah yeah, let's move on!" Heather huffed, embarrassed.

"The only eyes more beautiful than yours are those of that gopher!" Alejandro motioned over to a defenseless non-mutant gopher, who looked at him, entranced, only to have the bear lunge at him and chase after him. "Survival was easy." The camera cut back to the present, Alejandro smirking. "Also, I have a special way with animals."

"ENOUGH WITH THE SELF PROMOTION, AL!" Chris pushed Cameron aside, yelling into Alejandro's face with a megaphone, stressing Alejandro's nickname.

"The jet black coldness of space calling the kettle black much?" Harold scoffed, apparently feeling that he needed to stretch the metaphor a little further to fit Chris's hypocrisy.

"... Harold?" Leshawna sighed.

"Yes, my Legoddess?" He said, smitten.

"...Shut up." Leshawna sighed, hiding a blush.

"I have a big announcement!" Chris grinned. "Today, the teams are being merged!" He held his hands in the air as everyone gasped.

"Wait a second!" Noah groaned. "He said last night that the teams weren't merging!"

"And they didn't." Dawn said. "They were not merged during the challenge they were expecting it to be in."

"But if he was just going to merge them the next morning, it wouldn't have mattered!" Noah said, exasperated.

"But that would have been what they expected." Dawn said. "And that wouldn't keep them in suspense."

"Man, Chris is a dick." Jo scoffed.

"That's right!" Chris grinned. "From now on, challenges are for 'individual' winners only." Chris air-quoted the word individual. "And EVERYONE is at risk of getting the not-so royal flush!" He grinned, only to have his phone ring. "I have to take this, it's my stylist." He smirked, putting it up to his head. "Yeah, how come my socks don't match my shirt?" He asked.

"Chris's socks match Chris's dumb shirts." Dakota grumbled. "Me had to wash them all."

"Stick together no matter what?" Zoey grinned at Cameron.

"Friendship finale version 2.0 here we come!" Cameron grinned, putting his hand in the air.

"Hey, um, can I get in on that?" Mal asked awkwardly, his voice perfectly matching Mike's.

"Of course!" Cameron and Zoey both nodded.

"Yeah, cause it totally worked out last time." Noah rolled his eyes.

"You know, I feel like we're forgetting something..." Geoff said, scratching his chin.

Confessionals:

"For now..." Cameron said nervously.

"Duncan thinks Mike's just an alternate personality for an evil guy he met in Juvy named Mal." Zoey explained, scoffing. "Well maybe Mal is one of Mike's alternate personalities, but no way is it the other way around!" She grinned.

"Oooh yeah..." Geoff said, realizing. "Mal's in charge. That's what I was forgetting!" He laughed.

"That's not something to laugh about, Geoff." Bridgette narrowed her eyes. "He could seriously hurt her!"

"You know, Mike's permanent record makes a lot more sense now." Sierra said, hand on her chin in thought.

"Can you remind me why you didn't ever mention it before?" Bridgette tried to keep her annoyance down.

"It really didn't seem important compared to all the mutant animals and Cody-Wody being right here with me for a whole month!" Sierra swooned as she said that part.

"Well, yes, but..." Bridgette groaned. "Is there anything else you left out that you can tell me?"

"It depends on what you need." Sierra grinned. "Do you need his phone number and address?"

"...Not really, no." Bridgette said, confused. "I just... can you tell me everything you know about Mike?"

"I don't think the dude would appreciate that, babe." Geoff protested. "Like, I know you're just trying to help, but Mike seems like he wants to keep some things private."

"...I guess..." Bridgette sighed. "But, can I at least know his entire criminal record?"

"I thought she already told you." Geoff said, confused.

"Oh, I just gave you the brief details." Sierra smiled. "I was really just wanting to know where Cody was and I kind of just gave you the summary."

"You know, I was asking for everything." Bridgette frowned.

"I know, but, you know, Cody!" Sierra squealed, as if that made up for everything. "Anyway, do you want to know or not?" She put her hands on her hips.

"Yes, I do!" Bridgette said, frustrated.

"You don't have to be rude, you know." Sierra huffed, but pulled out her laptop anyway. "Let's see..." She hummed. "Ok, the first thing on Mike's record is disrupting class, quite a few counts of that..."

"Yeah, that's not really what she meant." Jo said, exasperated.

"Ok, ok, I'm just telling you everything, like you asked!" Sierra said defensively. "Ok, so that covered most of his record until he was about twelve, when Vito showed up."

"Ooh, Vito!" Anne Maria practically exploded.

"..Yes, Vito." Sierra looked uncharacteristically annoyed. "Anyway, after that, he started to get into fights with bullies, mostly in the locker rooms, because of Vito coming out when Mike's shirt was off."

"The level of detail you have is disturbing but impressive." Jo admitted.

"After they stopped making him change for gym, that settled most of it," Sierra scrolled down the page. "Although a couple fights happened after that, but nothing major."

"Get to the important bits!" Jo growled.

"I'm getting there, Jo!" Sierra narrowed her eyes. "And then he was convicted for first degree arson."

"See, that's what I was talking about." Jo said, annoyed.

"He was placed in a Manitoba Juvenile Detention Center for..." Sierra squinted. "Funny, I couldn't actually find how long his original sentence was for."

"But you said earlier he was there for seven months." Bridgette said.

"Well yes, but that was after multiple sentence extensions, and reductions for good behavior." Sierra said. "I can't actually find anything about his original sentence."

"How can you not know?" Noah scoffed. "You know Cody's entire dental record from the day he was born and his projected dental future, yet you don't know what Mal got?"

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't find anything." Sierra shrugged. "Can I finish?" She glared at him, and he nodded. "Before I was rudely interrupted, Noah," She stressed. "He had seventeen cases of proven physical assault," She cringed. "And several dozen more unproven accusations, an innumerable amount psychological threats, seven cases of broken bones, and fifteen cases of vandalizing property."

"How was he only there for seven freaking months?" Jo asked. "That's like, seventy bajillion offenses!"

"I don't know." Sierra shrugged. "But after that, there was a court summons to decide if he should be transferred to an adult prison, after which all criminal activity ceased, and his sentence was gradually reduced." She finished.

"...Damn." Jo gaped.

"I guess that Mike must have got control back from Mal by that point..." Bridgette mused. "Thank you so much, Sierra." She grinned sincerely.

"You're welcome!" Sierra grinned.

"...Can we go back to watching the show now?" Lindsay asked. "All these big scary words about Mill are giving me and Tyler the willies!" She pointed at Tyler, who looked more confused by the assumption that he was scared than he actually looked frightened.

"Anyway, Mike's in control again." Zoey said assuredly. "Just ask the tarot!" She grinned and pulled out three tarot cards. "What's next for Mike?" She asked, then showed the camera three crude tarot cards cut out of cardstock. "The Lonely Prisoner," She said, the card showing a dejected man in chains. "The Creepy Tower," A dark shadowy tower. "And the Evil Leprechaun?" The third was an evil looking leprechaun, Zoey sounding confused. "I couldn't remember all the cards, so I made a few up!" She admitted, the cards thrown to the ground.

"Ooh, poor Zoey..." Bridgette sighed. "Although, I'm fairly sure the Evil Leprechaun and the Lonely Prisoner aren't actually tarot cards." She mused.

"No, they're not, although they definitely apply." Dawn said sagely. "Mike is and was a prisoner, and Mal is certainly evil."

"The Tower?" Trent asked.

"Oh, just wait a minute and you'll see." Dawn smiled.

Confessional:

"It's sooo easy to imitate Mike." Mal admitted, voice and hair back to their normal state of darkness. "Not even Zoey has a clue I'm not him." He grinned. "I should have done this YEARS ago." He began chuckling darkly as the camera zoomed into his brain.

"Ok, one last logical question before I shut my brain off and accept it." Noah said, groaning. "How is his voice doubling over itself?"

"What do you mean?" Staci asked.

"It's reverberating without a source." Noah explained. "That's not possible."

"...Welcome to shrug city, dude." Geoff said, shrugging.

"Ok, back to the nonlogic." Noah sighed.

"Ugh!" The camera zoomed into Mike's subconscious, Mike still tugging away at the rock, grunting with effort as he moved the rock inch by inch. "Hnnngugh!" He pulled one last time before putting his hand on his forehead. "Man, what a drag!" He moaned, before looking up in fear. "What's with the top of that tower?" He asked, the 'camera' shifting to show an ominous tower growing straight out of the ground, spikes coming out at awkward angles and a big glowing light at the top. "It kind of looks like-" He began, but a floating question mark cut him off, flying by his face.

"Who?" It asked as several of its brethren chimed in with similar callings as they flew past him.

"Ok, I promised I'd stop asking questions, but what are those?" Noah groaned as he realized he had to ask.

"They're a physical-er-mental representation of Mike's fears and questions." Dawn said.

"That's a lot of fears and questions." Bridgette frowned.

"Who, who who who?" It asked as Mike grinned and grabbed one out of the air and swung it down on his mental chain, snapping it off.

"Yes!" Mike grinned.

"Why?" The question mark asked as it flew away.

"Because!" Mike yelled as he ran off, clearly ecstatic.

"Woohoo!" Tyler grinned. "Go Mike!"

"...Not going to ask..." Noah struggled not to question what was going on.

"It's just a dream, buddy." Owen smiled. "Things that don't make sense happen all the time in dreams!"

"Well yes, but-" Noah sighed. "It's just not worth debating the logistics of Mike's brain and how it represents his struggles.."

"I understood exactly nothing of what you just said!" Owen laughed.

Mike only got to run for a few feet (or whatever you want to call a short mental distance) before he skidded to a halt as he ran in front of a stall shaped out of the brain matter that made up the floor, his alternate personality, Chester, chained up to it. "Chester!" Mike gaped. "Are you..." He looked up at the stalls logo, which was a silhouette of Mal's face over a skateboard. "Selling skateboards?"

"Eh, it was Mal's idea." Chester walked up to Mike, chained to the stall by his ankle and carrying a skateboard.

"Oooh, my head hurts..." Lindsay complained. "Now Lester's here too?"

"It's just a dream, like Owen was saying." Tyler reassured his girlfriend. "But what kind of punishment is selling skateboards?"

"Skateboards were invented by my great aunt-" Staci stopped herself. "I mean, uh, I know what kind of punishment it is!" Staci suddenly smirked as she caught on. "Chester is basically the crotchetiest oldest most cantankerous old grandpa in existence, yah?"

"So?" Jo asked, annoyed.

"Well what is the one thing crotchety old grandpa's hate more than anything?" Staci grinned.

"Communists?" Noah asked.

"Good answer, yah, but no." Staci giggled. "They hate young people and new technology!"

"What does that have to do with skateboards?" Trent asked.

"Well, skateboards are basically young people and new technology personified..." Staci paused. "At least to an old guy, yah."

"You continue to impress me, Staci!" Beth grinned. "You're so smart!"

"Yah, I guess..." Staci scratched at her wig (which reminded everyone that she was even wearing one).

"Huh!" Mike gasped as he got an idea. "Maybe you can help me fight him and get control of my mind again!" He grinned.

"Who, Mal?" Chester growled. "Ooh, why he's the whippiest snapper whippersnapper that ever snapped a-" He trailed off as it cut to Mike's expression of worry.

"Chester!" Mike cut him off. "Will you help me?" He asked firmly.

"Man, this is trippy." Geoff chuckled. "Ignoring the mortal peril thing, seeing two Mikes? That's just freaky!"

"It is kind of weird." Trent said. "But then again, so is Mike."

"Eh, what the heck, I'm with yah, Mike!" Chester grinned as Mike gripped Chester's skateboard and slammed it against the chain, breaking it.

"Sweet, a new party member!" Sam grinned, before looking around as people looked at him oddly. "I was just kidding..." He mumbled, embarrassed.

"Alright, let's go!" Mike laughed nervously. "To the weird creepy tower!" He pointed at said tower, which pulsated menacingly.

"Yeaahhhhhohhhh boy..." Chester began happily but trailed into a groan. "This is gonna probably end badly."

"Taking bets on who they rescue next?" Jo smirked.

"I thought we were over gambling!" Trent groaned.

"You're over gambling." Jo corrected. "I, however, am still in the game."

"Svetlana!" Sierra grinned. "She's totally my favorite!" She threw down a dollar bill.

"Vito, baby!" Anne Maria looked ecstatic, tossing down five bucks.

"And I'm betting Manitoba." Jo smirked, putting down a five dollar bill as well.

"You know, something about the way we're betting on people's lives is kind of unsettling." Bridgette mused, before glaring at Geoff, who was about to put down two dollars. "Don't you dare bet on anyone, mister!" She scolded.

"Aww, but Bridgey-bear-" Geoff whined.

"No 'but Bridgey-bear's with me, I refuse to let my boyfriend gamble on Mike's personalities!" Bridgette snapped.

"Has anyone noticed that Belle's kind of gotten meaner?" Lindsay asked.

"I'm sorry if I'm the only one actually worried about this!" Bridgette looked annoyed. "I don't think anyone else seems to realize that Zoey and the others are in serious danger just being around Mal!"

"I realize it." Noah said. "But there's nothing I can do."

"Well at the very least could we stop this insane betting thing?" She looked pointedly at Trent, who threw up his hands defensively.

"Hey, I haven't bet on anything in the last couple days, don't look at me!" Trent said nervously.

"And I'm very proud of you for it." Dawn smiled.

"Ugh, gag me with a spoon." Heather rolled her eyes and mimed a barfing motion.

"Mhhm, yeah!" Chris was talking on his phone off camera, walking by it as he shut his phone. "Guy thinks I'm colorblind, AS IF!" He grumbled. "Anyhoo," He changed his tune back to the grinning sadist we all know and hate, standing in front of his TV with a map of the island on it. "This days challenge is a regatta around the island."

"Re-what-now?" Leshawna asked, annoyed.

"A regatta; a sporting event consisting of a series of boat or yacht races." Harold pulled a dictionary out of his pocket and read it aloud.

"Staci was right!" Dakota smiled at her friend and clapped happily.

"Yeah yeah, we get the trend." Jo growled. "Staci's a big ol' Smarty-Parka, and we should listen to her, yadda yadda yadda."

"You're right, Jo." Beth said, annoyed. "Staci is really smart and you're being a jerk."

"Again, I get the trend." Jo rolled her eyes.

"A re-whatta?" Duncan asked, confused.

"Regatta, it's a boat race?" Chris looked annoyed at this and explained.

"So why didn't you say that?" Duncan asked.

"Because I'm classy, hello!" Chris grinned and walked out of the camera's view of the map.

"Yeah right, classy." Leshawna rolled her eyes. "I've seen classier dudes at Harold's DnD campaigns."

"You have a DnD campaign?" Sam grinned at Harold, who nodded with an equal amount of enthusiasm. "Sweet!"

"You actually join him, Leshawna?" Heather smirked.

"...Occasionally." Leshawna frowned and blushed.

"What, does Harold just keep you around to prove he has a girlfriend?" Heather asked, grinning mischievously.

"...Shut up." Leshawna growled hastily.

"The first person to circumnavigate the entire island wins immunity, and a night at the spa hotel." Chris explained as icons of the eight remaining players circled the island. "Don't worry, Chef will keep things interesting by providing some 'obstacles' for you." Chris happily air-quoted the word obstacle as Gwen gasped and everyone looked nervous while Chris chuckled. "Some of the boats are seaworthy." Chris explained as the TV showed seven boats onscreen. "Some are sink-errific." Two of the boats sank.

"Wait a sec, there are only seven boats there!" Owen looked confused.

"Well he had to make it completely unfair somehow." Noah said, annoyed.

"And, they're all first come, first serve." Chris explained. "Starting... NOW!" He used his megaphone on the last bit, everyone cheering.

"Come on Gwen, let's go!" Courtney and Gwen running together as Duncan ran up behind them.

"Hey, can I be part of your alliance?" Duncan asked.

"Real smooth move there, I'm sure they want to make an alliance with their annoying ex." Heather rolled her eyes.

"Why?" Gwen asked, annoyed.

"I could use some allies, and I can protect you from people like Mike!" He pointed back at Mike as he kept running.

"Ha! Like he's a threat." Courtney said as the camera cut to Mal and his 'friends' ran in a group, smiling.

"I'm telling you, he's dangerous!" Duncan insisted, the camera focusing in on Mal, before switching back to Duncan."I knew him back in Juvy when his name was Mal!"

"Ok, we know he's right..." Trent said. "But what proof does he have that would convince those two?"

"Ahahahaha!" Courtney and Gwen both looked nervous for a second, before bursting into laughter and speeding up.

Confessional:

"He thinks MIKE is a threat?" Gwen asked incredulously. "Wow, that's like, a million on the lame scale." She grinned. "Poor Duncan, so sad.." She pouted for a second before bursting out into another fit of giggles.

"What, did everyone just forget that he kicked the crap out of Izzy?" Noah asked. "Even if they don't know about Mal, isn't that even the least bit threatening?"

"Oh man, I hope Izzy gets better soon." Owen sighed. "It's no fun without her here in the rafters, even if Co-" He began, but a nearby Eva swiftly punched him and he whimpered. "-ooh mama!" He whined.

"Thanks." Cody whispered to Eva, who shrugged.

"And Alejandro takes the lead!" Chris announced as Alejandro swiftly ran across the docks and jumped into the speedboat, Courtney and Gwen quickly catching up and jumping into the other, whooping. "And Courtney and Gwen team up by choice!" Chris jetpacked into frame. "Despite the whole 'only one person wins' thing... interesting!"

"Man, I want a jetpack..." Cody whined softly.

Mal suddenly jumped into one of the boats, taking out the controls with one punch, the electronics sparking and sputtering as he jumped to the next boat, grabbed its anchor and sent it straight through the bottom, breaking it, and finally letting out the air in the raft before jumping into the Boat of Losers. "Mike!" Zoey yelled as she finally caught up to him just as he took off, pushing his hair back up. "Oh..." She sighed.

"He may be a psycho, but he's pretty good at strategically weakening the enemy." Jo said, impressed.

"I would ask if that counts as cheating, but I doubt Chris actually had rules for this." Brick shrugged.

"Does anyone remember when Chris used to have a soul?" Bridgette asked.

"Oh he has one." Dawn frowned. "But it is too black and twisted and vile for me to even look at it for too long."

"Yeah, but he used to actually test the challenges." Bridgette said. "Now he just slaps them together and hopes someone dies."

"Actually, they phased out rigorous testing after the first challenge." Sierra said. "They lost all twelve of their interns diving off the cliff, so they stopped doing it to curb the mortality rates." She rattled off as everyone looked mildly disturbed.

"...Never mind about that, then." Bridgette sighed.

"He left us the power boat!" Zoey said happily, pointing over at said vehicle, both her and Cameron jumping in and turning on the ignition, only for it to sputter and suddenly sink. "It was already rusty..." Zoey shrugged nervously as Cameron glared uncharacteristically.

"Guess the raft will have to do!" Cameron pointed over at the only remaining vehicle, and the camera cut to both of them on it, Scott and Duncan both running up and jumping on. "Hey, get your own boat!" Cameron said indignantly.

"This is the only one that floats!" Duncan threw his hands in the air as he said that.

"No time to debate, let's go!" Zoey said, as she began using a stick as an oar. "And start paddling!" She added, Scott and Duncan both getting to the ground and helping with their arms.

"Who do you think will win?" Anne Maria turned to Staci.

"Why are you asking me, yah?" Staci looked confused. "Not that I don't, like, appreciate it."

"Well beside's Little Miss Prophet over there," Anne Maria pointed at Dawn, who looked annoyed at the name. "You seem to guess who's gonna win every time."

"I don't appreciate that nickname, Anne Maria." Dawn said, hands on her hips.

"Whatever, I'm just kidding," Anne Maria scoffed. "Anyway, what's your take on it?" She smiled at Staci.

"Well, we already know that there's going to be two explosions, yah." Staci said quickly. "And since we know the bigger one was at Chris's mansion, we can bet the smaller one was one of the boats. And since there are only three boats with engines, it has to be either Mal, Alejandro or Courtney and Gwen." She finished, before pausing in thought. "I'm not sure which, though."

"..." Everyone gaped at her. "Ok, I'm impressed." Jo admitted. "Just a little, though." She added hastily.

"Yeah, everyone celebrate the new queen of the geeks!" Heather said sarcastically. "I didn't think I would meet a girl dorkier than Beth, but you win the prize of absolutely no dates ever." She glared poisonously at Staci, who looked extremely hurt.

"Heather keep mouth shut or Dakota smash Heather..." Dakota growled menacingly, baring her sharpened teeth.

"Hey, Sarah's really smart!" Lindsay said, walking over to Staci, smiling. "And there's nothing wrong with knowing how to count to eleventy or be like the girly Sherman Domes or whatever!" She grinned, everyone snickering at her malapropos.

"Aww, thanks!" Staci giggled, appreciating the sentiment even if she mangled the words.

"Blah blah blah, friendship is magic, can we go back to the show now?" Jo said, annoyed by the giggling girlishness.

"And the riff-raff ride the rickety raft!" Chris laughed, once again jetpacking into frame. "I am hilarious!"

"No, not really." Leshawna growled.

The scene switched to Alejandro smugly speeding along, only to have his speedboat's motor give a sad putter and suddenly shut down. "Ai, no!" He whined. "Come now beautiful engine, start for Alejandro!" He smiled nervously as he pushed the ignition again, only to have Mal speed by in the Boat of Losers.

"And Mike takes the lead!" Chris hovered overhead, grinning.

"Oh no..." Beth said. "He's gonna win!"

"Not if he blows up." Staci said. "Maybe it was his boat that exploded?"

"I kind of hope so..." Beth sighed.

"But, will he keep it all the way through Coconut Alley?" Chris asked, grinning mischievously.

"Coconut Alley?" Mal stuck his head out of his boat in confusion, a coconut bonking him on the head and sending his hair down to its normal state. "Ow!" He cried as the camera panned up to reveal Chef in the hot air balloon, sending a bucket of coconuts down, Mal ducking back into the cockpit before they landed.

"Courtney and Gwen reach Coconut Alley!" Chris announced as the camera switched to the two before yet again panning up to Chef.

"Hehehe!" Chef chuckled darkly as he sent another bucket cascading down.

"Uh oh..." Courtney looked up. "What's that?" She asked, the entire load of coconuts falling on her head.

"Hey!" Justin said. "No one hurts my Courtney!"

"She's not yours, get over it." Heather rolled her eyes.

"Hey!" Gwen yelled at Chef, before Courtney's scream cut her off as Courtney fell overboard, Gwen gasping and grabbing her leg. "Courtney!" She yelled, pulling her back up on her feet and into her arms. "Whoo!" She grinned.

"Thanks Gwen, I almost got my hair wet!" Courtney smiled at her friend and checked her hair.

"It's a miracle she didn't get any water in her hair." Leshawna said.

"Huh!" Gwen gasped. "I would NEVER let that happen," She leaned in, eyes wide. "Your hair is fantastic!"

"No, your hair is!" Courtney leaned in even closer. "What's your secret?"

"I double condition." Gwen somehow leaned even closer, their cheeks almost touching.

"...Yep, I'd better get started on that Gwentney fan page." Sierra gaped for a second then pulled out her phone.

"What's going on with Gwen?" Trent said. "She's acting... Weird."

"Weirder than usual?" Heather scoffed. "That's not possible."

"I saw Gwen once fix her hair with her spit." Leshawna said. "I hope she doesn't double condition with that stuff."

"Boring!" Chris groaned. "Better up the ante, Chef!" He called over to his 'friend'.

"It's times like these when I really love this job." Chef chuckled darkly as he pulled out a stick of dynamite and dropped it. "Heheheheh..." He chuckled again.

The stick landed straight in the engine and exploded, Gwen and Courtney screaming in surprise, though they were unharmed, the engine was busted. "Oh great." Courtney groaned.

"Well we know what the first explosion was." Staci sighed. "Unless Alejandro fixes his boat, I'm pretty sure Mal'll win, yah."

Alejandro was fiddling with his own engine, which gave out a sad puff of black smoke. "Hey, Alejandro!" Duncan and crew paddled up to him, Duncan calling over. "Boat trouble?" He asked.

"Not anymore!" Alejandro grinned as he got back into the driver's seat, starting the boat and sending a wave of water over the raft-mates, drenching them. "Ha! Adios, non-amigos!" He called back at them.

"Man, you know a situation sucks when you're rooting for Alejandro." Geoff laughed.

"If we only had a motor..." Zoey sighed.

"That's it!" Cameron said as he got an idea, grabbing Scott by the wife-beater and shoving him into the water.

"Hey, what was that for?" Scott asked, annoyed.

"Hmm, let's see, maybe it was revenge for being such a jerk?" Noah smirked.

"Yes!" Justin grinned. "I like where this is heading!"

"I don't like where this plan is going..." Staci frowned.

"Where is it going?" Brick asked her. "I don't really get how it is in any way going to help them..."

"Sorry Scott, nothing personal!" Cameron smiled, before pointing off camera. "Just attracting our motor!"

Scott looked confusedly to where he was pointing, the tip of Fang's fin piercing the water and rising as he got closer. "Oh no..." He yelled. "Nonononononono!" His screams got higher and higher as Fang drew closer and closer, finally screaming out in pure terror.

"Fang has a bit of an obsession with Scott." Cameron grinned sheepishly as he explained this to a gaping Duncan.

"Damn." Jo smirked. "I think Bubble Brain is turning into a villain!" She grinned. "I'm glad I taught him well."

"This is not ok, Jo!" Brick suddenly stood up. "Sure Scott is kind of a massive jerk..." He admitted. "But exploiting his trauma for their gain is unacceptable!"

"And I say it's just using your resources!" Jo stomped up to him, growling.

"People are not resources!" Brick huffed. "Would you do that if you were there instead of Cameron?"

"I wouldn't be on the crappy raft with those losers if I was there instead of Cameron!" Jo growled. "But if I was, sure! That jerk's had it coming!"

"I can't believe you'd do that, Jo!" Brick pressed his face up against hers, locking foreheads. "That's not a good strategy!"

"Yeah, it is!" Jo poked him in the chest. "If one of your teammates has a weakness, you exploit it for the good of the team!"

"No, you don't!" Brick yelled. "You support them and help them through their problems!"

"Not if they're dead weight!" Jo countered.

"No one's dead weight!" Brick snapped.

"Well you certainly had me fooled." Jo smirked, pushing Brick down onto the floor, standing over him.

"I am not dead weight!" Brick huffed, pinned down and blushing heavily.

"Prove it." Jo whispered smugly.

"Ok!" Brick suddenly shouted and grabbed her hands, pulling her down to his level and planting his lips on hers, blushing heavily.

"Woohooo!" Geoff called out, breaking the stunned silence that blanketed the room, grabbing the hat off his head and spinning it around. "Go Brick!"

"...Here's your ten bucks, Eva." Noah said flatly, passing over the money to a stunned Eva, both of their jaws dropping.

"Wha-what the fuck?" Jo broke out of the kiss induced stupor and pushed Brick away, face red, she got up. "I mean-what the fuck?" She seemed unable to say anything else.

"I-I was just-" Brick stuttered, blushing beet red, before a loud groan from Lightning cut him off.

"Oh come on!" Lightning groaned. "Lightning did not need to see two dudes making out on the floor!"

"Uh, Lightning, bro..." Geoff looked nervously at him. "You might want to keep it down..." He pointed at a fuming Jo. "I thought you were cool with it, anyway." He whispered.

"Well yeah, but... not in front of the Lightning!" Lightning looked embarrassed. "Like, dudes can do what they want, but like, please sha-keep it to yourselves, dude!" He called the last part over to Jo, Geoff and all nearby contestants quickly distancing themselves from the offending idiot.

"SHUT UP, YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!" Jo suddenly snapped out of her glaring and fuming, and screeched at Lightning. "I-" She stomped her foot. "AM-" She stormed over to him. "A-" She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "GIRL!" She kneed him in the crotch and Lightning fell to the floor, crying in pain. "Any questions?!" She suddenly whipped around and glared at everyone.

"Yes, what do you say to your fans after this shocking development in your relationship with Brick?" Sierra seemed unfazed by the violence and stepped over a whimpering Lightning, who was cradling his 'package'. She shoved her phone into Jo's face, showing the Jock blog, which had a new video uploaded that seemed to be a shakily shot webcam recording of their kiss.

"You-you-you-" Jo stammered. "You were recording that?" Jo looked like she was about to die of embarrassment or anger, or both, as it was more likely.

"What?" Brick looked absolutely mortified, getting up. "She's-I kissed her..." Brick went over the events of the last minute in his head. "Sierra recorded it...what?!"

"Good job, dude!" Geoff walked up to Brick and patted him on the back, ignoring Jo and Sierra's extremely loud catfight.

"I-I actually just did that!" Brick looked shocked. "I actually kissed her!"

"Yep, congrats!" Geoff grinned happily. "That took some major guts there, bro."

"Is anyone going to help him?" Brick looked over at Lightning, who was still making squeaky noises.

"...I think he got what he deserved." Eva smirked. "Frankly, I was going to, but it looks like Jo beat me to it."

"You're going to take that down right now!" Jo snarled at Sierra, reaching for the phone as Sierra kept it out of her reach.

"It's already been re-uploaded to Spewtube by five different people, Jo, I can't stop the internet!" Sierra explained, her hand high up in the air to keep it away from Jo.

"I swear to god I am going to end you!" Jo launched herself at Sierra, who ducked out of the way, skidding to a halt and turned back around, growling.

"...You know, I miss how uncomplicated my life was before I got on this show." Noah groaned, ignoring the fight as well. "I mean, sure eight older siblings sucks ass, but... ugh."

"Aww come on, it's not all bad." Owen grinned. "Sure we've all been traumatized by the show... but I met Izzy here!"

"Yeah, what a miracle." Noah rolled his eyes.

"Isn't it?" Owen grinned, not noticing the sarcasm. "I actually met a girl that likes me! I mean, she's crazy, but I finally got to live out-"

"Nope." Noah stuck his hand over his friend's mouth to keep him from finishing that sentence. "I do not want to know how that sentence ends."

"Can we all wait until after the show to deal with any repressed feelings or kisses that may have occurred?" Trent asked, embarrassed by the proceedings.

"Fine!" Jo snapped.

Confessional:

"Man, even Cameron's more edgy than me!" Duncan groaned. "And he's like a talking pencil!"

"That is kind of an accurate description, huhuhuhuh..." Sam chuckled.

"So far, everyone's still alive!" Chris jetpacked into frame again, smirking. "But really, how likely is that to continue?" Chris snickered. "Find out when we return, with more Total Drama All Stars!"

"About fifty-fifty." Harold shrugged. "Not counting Mal, the average mortality rate on the show is zero, but that doesn't seem likely."

"Couldn't you guys have waited five seconds to kiss until after they cut for commercials?" Heather snapped at Jo and Brick, both blushing, sitting at exact opposite sides of the room and keeping their eyes firmly focused away from each other.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Jo insisted.

"She's talking about how Mortar kissed you, silly!" Lindsay giggled.

"I don't remember that happening." Jo snapped. "And if anyone does, they'll keep it to themselves."

After the commercial break, the camera cut to Scott hanging from the pole, back to the same frozen in fear state he was in last challenge. "Here, Sharky Sharky!" Duncan called as he held the pole up, cackling villainously.

"Not FUNNY!" Scott snapped out of his freaked out stupor and screamed.

"Yeah, this is just so wrong on so many levels." Leshawna shivered.

"Actually, I'm quite enjoying this." Justin smirked.

Fang's fin was now fully out of the water, Cameron quickly tying a rope together. "Almost ready, Zoey, tie the other end to the raft!" He handed Zoey the rope lasso he had fashioned.

"You guys, this is crazy!" Zoey whined, but still tied the rope anyway.

"Well then don't do it!" Bridgette said, frustrated.

"Trust me, it'll work!" Cameron said. "I hope..." He added, just as Fang slipped into the lasso and began chasing fruitlessly after Scott.

"AGHHHHHH!" Scott screamed, terrified as Fang's head bobbed inches from him.

"Hold on, Scott, you're doing great!" Zoey said nervously.

"Great idea dude, very villainous!" Duncan grinned at Cameron, who gulped.

Confessional:

"Oh my gosh!" Cameron gripped. "Am I turning evil?"

"Let's see, you've used your teammate as live shark-bait, exploiting his massive trauma for your own gain, yep, sounds pretty villainous!" Noah said, counting off of his fingers.

"I wasn't trying to be a villain!" Cameron said guiltily. "I was just... helping Scott to be a hero?" He made an excuse shakily.

The camera switched to Courtney fruitlessly pounding on their busted engine. "Ladies!" Alejandro grinned as he passed them.

"Agh, aghhh!" Scott screamed as the raft also passed them.

"Oh..." Both Gwen and Courtney sighed.

"This just in, Mike still has the lead!" Chris announced, hovering over the two. "And, thanks to the riff-rafters new 'engine," He explained. "Guess who's last?" He asked them.

"Last place?" Gwen groaned. "Aww man!" She folded her arms as Courtney gritted her teeth.

"Ugh, ugh ugh!" Courtney began pounding the boats engine again. "Come on you piece of JUNK!" She growled, Gwen picking up an oar from the bottom of the boat and sat at the front, beginning to slowly paddle it along by taking swipes at the water with it.

"Aghaghagh!" Scott was still screaming as they passed the dynamite section, Chef dropping down a small lit one.

"Incoming, hold tight!" Duncan called out, grabbing the dynamite as it fell, pinching out the fuse. "Hahahahaha, don't mind if I do!" He chuckled, Chef angrily growling and shaking his fist from above.

"Is that where Chris lives?" Zoey suddenly pointed over at somewhere off camera, the scene following her finger to Chris's mansion.

"Yeah, beautiful!" Duncan said reverently, before narrowing his eyes and holding up his stick of dynamite "Just beautiful." He added, before jumping off the boat.

"Duncan!" Zoey yelled after him as he swam to shore. "Where are you going?"

"Oh I don't like where this is headed." Staci said nervously. "I think we know how his mansion blew up."

"I do!" Anne Maria giggled. "Chris totally deserves what's gonna happen!'

"I agree, yah, but it's illegal as all get out." Staci said.

"So is half the show, what's your point?" Heather jumped in.

"I'm just saying if Chris presses charges, Duncan is not gonna win." Staci sighed. "It might be really fun for us, but, you know, blowing up personal property is a crime, no matter who it's against." She suddenly paused and held her breath. "I'm not going to say dynamite was invented by my great uncle Jerry, nope!" She whispered, strained.

Confessional:

"If ANYONE thinks I've gone soft or lost my mojo, let's just say I found a way to set the record straight." Duncan said smugly, arms folded.

"Oh Duncan..." Dawn looked sad. "You will regret this for the rest of your life."

"That long?" Trent asked, confused.

"Yes, for it is a terrible mistake." Dawn said.

"Piranhas, dead ahead!" Scott said, apparently having either calmed down or accepted his fate as shark food. "Snappy, toothy piranhas!" He yelled as the camera zoomed in on the snapping fish jumping in and out of the water, the Boat of Losers (and Mal) straight in front of them.

"And Mike!" Cameron grinned. "We might just catch up!"

"But who are we going to catch up to?" Zoey whispered back. "If only there was a way to make sure he was really Mike and not some sneaky alternate persona!"

"There is one way." Cameron said. "If you were to get into some sort of danger!"

"...I think I'm beginning to dislike Cameron just a little bit." Brick sighed. "But he means well."

"That's right!" Zoey's eyes widened. "That gives me a crazy idea!" She grinned. "Wish me luck!" She said as she let go of the pole, Cameron yelling as he struggled to hold it up. She grabbed the other pole and stuck it straight into the water, clinging onto it.

"Idiot." Eva scoffed.

"Well, Zoey's safety is pretty much the only thing that consistently brings Mike out." Sierra explained. "And anyway, Zoey's pretty strong on her own."

"Well it's still stupid." Eva said.

"I'm not saying that it's not a poorly thought out plan, Eva." Sierra countered. "But love makes you do crazy stupid things all the time!"

"Tell me about it." Cody whispered to himself.

"Zoey, no!" Cameron yelled, gasping.

"Mike, help!" Zoey screamed pleadingly, the camera cutting to a grinning Mal. "Miike!" She screamed again, Mal suddenly gasping and the camera zoomed into his head again, where Mike and Chester were stopped on their trek.

"Zoey?" Mike suddenly looked up in shock. "Zoey!" He yelled, popping out of existence in his mind, Mal replacing him, clutching his fists and glaring.

"Whahuhguh!" Chester straightened his back out of fright, covering his face.

"What the-?" Mal asked, looking around, before the camera cut back to Mike regaining control.

"Hey, why am I on a boat?" Mike looked out of the cockpit.

"Focus!" Tyler called out. "Your girl's in danger, dude!"

"Alejandro takes the lead!" Chris announced as the speedboat passed him by.

"Too easy!" Alejandro laughed.

"AGH!" Zoey screamed, the camera centered behind Mike.

"Oh-ohmygosh, Zoey!" Mike gasped, before the camera abruptly cut back to Mal in his mind, Chester huddled in a traumatized ball in the corner, hands over his eyes.

"Oh no you DON'T!" Mal screamed and grunted with effort, blinking out of the mind, Mike blinking back in.

"Zoey, I-" Mike continued, before looking around. "NOO!" He cried out.

"Miiiike!" Zoey's screams echoed in his head.

"I don't know what's happening!" Chester uncovered his eyes.

"Neither do I." Noah groaned. "Everything's just happening so damned fast!"

"Zoey's in trouble and there's nothing I can do!" Mike explained, eyes shut. "Ugh! When I get out of here, Mal is going to pay!"

"Heeelp!" Zoey screamed again.

"Oh, uh, hold on!" Mal called out, his voice copying Mike's again. "The engine won't start!" He pushed up his hair. He made unconvincing engine noises as Zoey screamed, clearly enjoying her pain.

"Is he seriously about to let her get eaten by piranhas?" Bridgette asked.

"Yep." Eva said, trying not to look worried.

"Help, seriously!" Zoey screamed again.

"Mike, Zoey's in danger!" Cameron yelled as they passed by him.

Confessional:

"Ughh..." Mal sighed, hands on his knees. "Only because otherwise it'll look 'suspicious'." He air quoted the last word.

"Please don't eat me!" Zoey pleaded the piranhas just as Mal turned the boat around and grabbed her off of the pole and held her in his arms.

"Sorry that took so long, I'm just glad you're ok!" Mal said falsely, putting his head up against hers.

Confessional:

"Huhuh!" Zoey gasped, still out of breath. "I knew it!" She grinned. "I knew he wouldn't let me become fish food!" She swooned. "So romantic!"

"Ok, he's good." Katie said. "Really good."

Confessional:

"Hehehehehe!" Mal chuckled deeply. "How gullible is this girl?"

"Pretty gullible." Heather snickered.

"You have to admit he's doing a pretty good job at faking Mike." Trent said.

"Well that doesn't change how gullible she is." Heather said, annoyed.

"Actually it kind of doe-" Harold began, but Heather shot him a glare that shut him up.

"Oh why won't you work!?" Courtney screamed as she pounded away at the dashboard as Gwen continued to paddle the boat along inch by inch. The motor suddenly sputtered to life and began again.

"Oh thank goodness!" Gwen grinned and stopped paddling. "Let's go!" She said, just as they sped off.

"All the boats are in the final stretch!" Chris announced, both him and Chef standing on the dock. "Who's going to win tonights immunity?" He shrugged as Alejandro came speeding up, smug smile on his face as his engine made odd noises.

"Woohoo!" Heather yelled, everyone else smirking at her. "What, he's the good guy this time!" She said defensively.

"Ugh!" The speedboat suddenly slowed down and stopped just inches away from the buoy.

"Oh!" Chris laughed. "Alejandro's chances of winning have stalled, just like his motor!" He smirked.

"Oh come on it's like two inches away from the finish line!" Heather complained. "He should totally win!"

"Oh nonono!" Alejandro cried out.

"Nearly there!" The camera cut to Mal and Zoey both in the cockpit.

"Honestly I'm just surprised he hasn't just strangled her while they're alone." Jo said, everyone looking disturbed at that suggestion. "I'm just saying."

"Agh!" Scott was back to screaming as Fang continued to pull at the rope keeping him from eating Scott.

"Zoey!" Cameron said, just as the Boat of Losers passed him.

"Too close, too close!" Scott screeched.

"Help, Zoey!" Cameron called again, the camera cutting to Mal and Zoey, Mal clearly enjoying the display as he grinned malevolently.

"Oh no, we have to help Cameron!" Zoey rushed to the other side of the boat.

"What?" Mal feigned not hearing her.

"I said, we-" Zoey began, only to be cut off by Gwen and Courtney zooming past them together.

"Sorry, I can't hear you!" Mal rolled his eyes, grinning.

"Help!" Cameron called out again. "Scott, I'm so sorry!" He groaned with the effort of keeping Scott aloft. "I just can't hold you up anymore!" He said as Scott clutched his legs to keep them from dangling, right before Fang bit lunged at him, pulling him under.

"Yes, eat him!" Justin cackled maniacally as the entire room stared at him, confused. "I mean, oh no!" He said, acting very badly. "Poor Scott!"

"Oh this is really really bad." Bridgette moaned.

"Still think it's ok, Jo?" Brick said, still kind of annoyed.

"I'm not speaking to you anymore." Jo shrugged, blushing heavily.

"Oh come on, seriously?" Brick pouted.

"Did any of you hear something? Something that sounded like a moron? Cause I didn't!" Jo snapped.

"Agh!" Right as it looked like Scott was about to be eaten alive (again), the pole snapped back and launched him into the air. He waved his arms wildly as he fell, screaming.

Confessional:

Scott was curled up in the fetal position again, shivering wildly with a blank expression. "Never, ever make enemies with a critter that has more teeth than your whole f-family combined!" He said, eyes shifting about as he clutched his shoulders. "NEVER!" He added.

"You know, I'm starting to think Scott might actually be seriously traumatized by all the stuff that keeps happening to him, yah?" Staci said sadly.

"Yeah, you've got a point." Bridgette said. "I know he was kind of a giant jerk, but this isn't really justice."

"Scott has been irreparably damaged by Fang." Dawn said. "His soul, however, has actually improved from the trauma."

"He doesn't look that over it to me..." Trent said.

"No, not that." Dawn said. "He will likely be plagued with nightmares for the rest of his life from his damage." She looked sad. "But as I look at him now, his aura is no longer twisted and blackened. It's still not pretty, but he's learned."

"How much do you actually know about us from your auras?" Trent asked. "It's been bugging me for a while."

"Well, it depends on the person." Dawn smiled, happy to explain herself. "Those who bury their feelings can hide them from view, but if they try too hard to deny it, the feelings shine through even brighter than before."

"So how can you tell the future?" Trent asked, curious.

"Well, it's a lot easier for me now after a year of training, but I still can only see glimpses."

"Bullshit." Jo said, annoyed. "You've been predicting shit all damn season and you're telling me you can only see glimpses?"

"I can't tell you anything more than glimpses, anyway." Dawn amended. "Telling someone their future is a dangerous thing. If you're too vague, you can cause it to happen anyway, and if you tell everything, you can change the course of fate with untold consequences."

"When she talks like that I get really confused." Lindsay admitted. "I think she said something about gypsies?"

"It's just Dawn stuff, babe, don't worry about it, ok?" Tyler smiled at his girlfriend.

"Oooh, ok!" Lindsay nodded.

"Aagh-ogh!" Scott landed face-first on the raft, Cameron breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. "Your turn to be fish food!" He got up and growled at him, pushing Cameron into the water.

"You know, he kind of deserved that." Jo snickered.

"No he didn't!" Brick said, annoyed.

"But you said he was wrong for using him as a motor!" Jo challenged.

"That doesn't make it right to throw him in too!" Brick frowned.

"It's just revenge!" Jo snarled.

"I thought you weren't talking to me!" Brick yelled back.

"Yeah, well, I'm not!" Jo blushed.

"...Wow." Leshawna said, confused. "I really can't tell if they hate each other or really really like each other."

"I think the kissing part tells you." Harold snorted with laughter, before suddenly being taken out by a yo-yo. "Ow, gosh!" He moaned.

"You know, I wonder when the mansion's gonna go boom?" Anne Maria said, smirking. "Cause I won't lie, I've been waiting all day for that!"

"Woah!" Cameron screamed, Fang rushing up to take a bite out of him, only to sniff him and decide not to eat him, swimming off.

"Seriously?" Scott asked, annoyed. "Ugh, guess he wanted a meal, not a snack!" He growled. "Get back up here and start paddling!"

"No, he just wants to eat you only." Geoff said. "What's up with a shark that won't eat a helpless guy like Cameron, anyway?"

"I don't know, but I'm happy he's not eaten." Bridgette looked peeved at her boyfriend, just a little.

"Owww..." Lightning finally got up from being kneed in the groin, groaning. "Sha-thanks a lot for not helping the Lightning!" He said, annoyed.

"Sorry dude, we kind of forgot about you there." Geoff laughed. "No, but seriously, sorry." He changed his tone to a more serious one. "No dude wants to get hit in the kiwis."

Confessional:

"I know what I did was wrong..." Cameron admitted, guilty. "But Fang would have probably only chewed on Scott for a minute before spitting him out." He said. "Just to make a point, I mean, right?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"Ohohohohoha!" Alejandro was still fruitlessly attempting to start his engine when Chef and Chris both burst out into cackling laughter.

"What's Alejandro doing?" Gwen asked. "His engine must have died!" She grinned.

"I guess he'll have to Ale-hand-row row row his boat!" Courtney said forcedly, both of them giggling at her bad joke.

"Pfft!" Justin snorted. "Courtney is hilarious!"

"I know you're crushing on her, but seriously?" Jo snarked. "That was terrible!"

"Shut up." Justin snapped.

"Hurry, they're gaining on us!" Gwen said as Mal honked his horn at them and sped into frame.

"Not on my yacht!" Courtney said, speeding up. "Alright!" She screamed as they caught up to a frantic Alejandro, who glared at them. "Faster!" She called as Alejandro gave another attempt to restart his engine.

"Are you seriously going to let them win?" Heather looked furious. "Kick their butts already!" She yelled.

"Go, go, go!" Courtney called out, as Alejandro was now sweating, before finally he just jumped onto the tip of the boat and touched the buoy with his nose, just as Gwen and Courtney caught up.

"Ooh, and Alejandro wins it by a nose!" Chris announced. "Courtney and Gwen take second place!" Mal and Zoey passed by. "Not that it matters, Mike and Zoey take third." He said, much less enthusiastic. "And Cameron and Scott may have come in last," He said as Cameron paddled his way into the dock, Scott simply standing there and glaring. "But they were definitely the funniest!" He grinned, chuckling. "A meal, not a snack!" He repeated what Scott had said. "Hehehahahahahaha!" He started cackling like a mad hyena. "Oh, my sides!" He giggled as Chef rolled his eyes.

"I think he was laughing more at the fact that Scott was terrified than at the joke itself." Brick said, slightly frightened by the laughter.

"Chris have terrible sense of humor." Dakota rolled her eyes. "Me remember he laugh all the time at stupid stuff when me interning."

"Hey, you said like, almost a complete sentence!" Staci smiled.

"Me did?" Dakota grinned, showing off her sharp teeth. "Yay!" She clapped, tail thumping against the ground.

Confessional:

"It wasn't THAT funny, Chris." Scott rolled his eyes.

"Wait a minute, where's Duncan?" Chris began, before an absolutely MASSIVE explosion went off in the background, shaking the camera.

"Woohoo!" Anne Maria grinned and threw up her arms. "Bada-boom baby!"

"It is pretty nice to hear something of his blow up." Noah smirked.

"He once tried to blow me up." Owen said.

"He's tried to blow EVERYONE up at least once." Geoff laughed.

"What the heck was that?" Zoey asked, scared.

Chris pulled out his binoculars and squinted through them. "HUH!?" He gasped, the camera surveying the damage through a filter to look like binoculars. "MY COTTAAAAGE!" He wailed. "Aghahahah!" He cried.

"Ha!" Leshawna laughed. "Man that feels great!"

"That's like, so awesome!" Sam grinned, throwing up his arms. "Even cooler than that time Dakota went wrestling!" He looked around.

"We all remember that, dorkus." Heather rolled her eyes. "You made us watch on pay-per-view."

"I don't." Jo looked confused. "What are you even talking about?"

"Me win wrestling match once." Dakota grinned. "After me beat them, they say Dakota couldn't compete cause Dakota had 'unfair advantage'." She air quoted the last part with her massive claws.

"Oh, I've got it on Spewtube if you want to watch!" Sierra grinned.

"I don't care, and even if I did I wouldn't want to hear about it from you." Jo snarled.

"You call that a cottage?!" Courtney was looking through his binoculars. "It was a mansion!" She threw up her arms in annoyance.

The camera panned over the damage done to the 'cottage'. "Hoohoohohah yeah, now who's gone soft?" Duncan ran up into frame, dancing like an idiot.

"You know, as much as I kind of really really really like seeing Chris's stuff get blown sky high..." Bridgette admitted. "I kind of think this was a really bad plan on Duncan's part."

"Yeah, it's pretty dumb." Geoff shrugged.

"S-so many p-pictures of me!..." Chris sniffled. "Gone... all-all gone!..." He whimpered.

"We'll build you another cottage!" Chef put his massive hand on Chris's shoulder comfortingly, Courtney's eyes widening.

"You know, I could never figure out the deal with those two." Bridgette admitted. "Half the time they hate each other and then they're all... weird."

"Does anyone want to see the clip of Chris asking Chef out from TDA?" Sierra suddenly dragged out her phone. "It went viral on the web back when it aired!"

"...Nope." Noah shivered. "Nopenopenopenopenope!" He continued, completely disturbed.

"I don't ever want to think about that again." Jo looked like she was about to hurl. "Just... no."

"It was not a cottage!" Courtney looked indignantly at him.

"Huh..." Chris sighed. "As winner of today's challenge, Alejandro gets immunity and a night at the spa hotel... " Chris said flatly, completely lifeless and dejected as Alejandro looked triumphant. "And, he can bring one person along with him..."

Everyone suddenly turned to Alejandro and put on their best grinning faces, even Mal (although his looked more like he was about to snap and murder him). "As much as I would love to bring you all..." Alejandro smirked. "I cannot play favorites and break all of your hearts!"

"That's low." Jo said. "He could have just said no in the first place and not pretend to be nice."

"Mal's smiling face looks like he's watching something horrendous happening off camera." Bridgette shuddered.

"Awww..." Everyone sighed.

"As for the rest of you, time to hit the voting booth..." Chris said sadly, Mal walking up to Alejandro as everyone else left.

"Hey Alejandro!" Mal said, clearly forcing Mike's perky voice. "So, I was kinda wondering, since there aren't any teams anymore, um, maybe we could form an alliance." He paused, trying to figure out how to end the sentence awkwardly. "Or something...?"

"Well, he's got the awkward stuttering down." Sierra said. "Although his voice is just a teensy weensy bit higher than Mike's when he's faking it."

"I honestly can't hear the difference." Bridgette shrugged.

"Oh it's easy!" Sierra grinned. "I learned how to fake voices so Cody's mom wouldn't automatically hang up on me every time I called!"

"...And there's the disturbing part." Noah said, annoyed.

"Seriously what is wrong with her?" Cody whimpered.

"Uh, I mean, if you want?..." Mal continued. "Maybe... huhuhuhuhuh..." He mimicked Mike's nervous laugh rather stiltedly.

"Ok, now he's overdoing it just a little." Sierra frowned.

"Hmmm... Intriguing and unexpected..." Alejandro said, keeping his face devoid of emotions. "Just the way I like to play it." He smirked. "Deal!" He grabbed Mal's hand and shook it.

"Oh come on!" Heather huffed.

Confessional:

"With a friend like me," Mal began, pointing at himself. "Who needs enemies?" He began laughing maniacally as the camera zoomed in, the background fading into crackling fire.

"Oh, why are the producers so busy?" Bridgette groaned.

"I think it was the lawsuits, babe." Geoff said.

"Well yes, but...still!" Bridgette said, annoyed.

The camera zoomed in on the voting ceremony, Chris hunched over and dejected. "...Huh..." He sighed. "Good news... As a reward for making it to the merge, there will be no Boney Island for any of you tonight..." He said dejectedly and without any trace of his normal announcer cheer and fanfare.

"Yeah!" Everyone exclaimed (or at least some variation of that).

"Do you know how many statues of me were lost in that explosion?" Chris whined. "Five!"

"That's significantly less than I was expecting." Noah shrugged.

"Well, actually there were sixteen, but the ones he's talking about were life size." Sierra said, as everyone stared at her. "Hey, I actually only know that cause my mom made us replicate them for the Chris Museum/Guest Room."

"And suddenly everything about you makes a lot more sense." Noah said.

"Can we just get on with this ceremony already?" Courtney complained.

"Told yah, told yah I was a villain!" Duncan grinned triumphantly.

"Before you vote for the first time as individuals," Chris began, his tone almost back to normal, although still flat. "I have a special surprise for Boom-Boom over here!" He said, extremely annoyed.

"Oh he is so screwed." Anne Maria gaped.

"Aww, Chris, you shouldn't have!" Duncan said sarcastically, only for two cops to walk up and one of them placed his hand on Duncan's shoulder.

"You're under arrest for the destruction of a private cottage!" One of the cops said.

"I think I am entitled to a certain phrase," Staci grinned. "I called it, yah!" She looked ecstatic.

"It was not a- RGGGGH!" Courtney began, but ended in an annoyed growl.

"Way to go, bad boy!" Gwen grinned mischievously. "I hope looking cool is worth getting locked up again!"

"It is!" Duncan grinned. "I'm gonna rule Juvy!"

"Technically we're all 18 now, actually..." Bridgette said. "Well, all of the original cast anyway."

"You know, that's kind of bizarre." Geoff laughed. "I don't feel any older than I did when we started this mess!"

"Juvy?" Chris looked indignant. "Um, you destroyed a MAJOR piece of property." He said. "It's a big boy jail for you, bro! And it's gonna be a real slammer!"

"You know, I would feel bad for him..." Bridgette said. "But he kind of brought this on himself."

"Just a little." Beth admitted.

"Wait, it was an accident!" Duncan whined as the cops dragged him off. "Come on guys, have a heart!" He continued. "I-I didn't know you weren't supposed to put a toaster in the microwave! Agh, snugglemuffins!" He attempted to curse.

"Ok, that's just really weak." Leshawna said. "Who would be dumb enough to put a toaster in a microwave?"

"..." Owen twiddled his fingers nervously. "It was just one time..." He mumbled.

"I stand corrected." Leshawna sighed."And anyway, there are cameras everywhere!" She growled. "A sister couldn't take a leak there without being watched!"

"Yeah, his plan was not very well thought out." Geoff said.

"I don't actually think he thought it out at all." Noah rolled his eyes.

"Ah, justice!" Chris grinned, back to his normal cheerful self. "Ok, it's voting time!"

Voting Confessionals:

"I'm voting for Cameron!" Scott growled. "He used me for shark bait!" He pointed outside. "I hate it when people do that!" He pounded the wall with his fist.

"Yeah, I can't blame him, really." Brick shrugged. "I like Cameron and all, but that was kind of low."

"It's sad when your life reaches a point where multiple people have attempted to feed you to sharks." Bridgette sighed.

"With Sierra gone," Cameron said, confused. "I don't know who to vote for..." He looked worried. "But since Scott's so mad at me, he wins." He said the last part quickly. "I mean, loses." He corrected himself.

"Camdy..." Sierra sniffled again.

"Well, I believe this is a first!" Chris grinned, staring at the papers. "The votes have been tallied, and it's unanimous!" He smirked. "Tonight's Flush o' Shame recipient is..." He held the tension for only a couple seconds. "Cameron!" He showed the photo.

"Yes, Bubble Boy goes down!" Lightning grinned. "Take that, nerd!"

"Wait a sec..." Staci said. "If the votes were unanimous, Cameron would have to vote for himself..." She put her finger on her chin. "And we heard him vote for Scott..." She continued.

"Oh my gosh it's saber-tage or whatever!" Anne Maria gaped.

"Sabotage." Beth corrected.

"That's what I said, ain't it?" Anne Maria looked annoyed.

"What?" Cameron gasped and stood up. "How can it be unanimous?" He asked. "I didn't vote for myself!"

"I didn't vote for him either!" Zoey stood up as well, while Mal simply shrugged, not saying anything.

"Of course." Anne Maria narrowed her eyes. "Man I am really starting to hate this guy!"

"Well he is imprisoning Vito..." Dawn said.

"What?!" Anne Maria gasped.

"I thought that was common knowledge." Jo said. "We did bet on it."

"Well yeah, but I didn't think about it!" Anne Maria growled. "Oh he is going down!"

"Relax." Chris grinned. "Since Duncan the destroyer is gone, Cameron gets yet another stay of Flush-e-cution." He explained. "You're still in the game, for now."

"Sweet!" Mal said falsely, giving a thumbs up, Cameron sighing with relief.

Confessional:

The camera cut to Mal's voting confessional, the box cracked open and Mal was holding all the pictures, slowly letting all of them fall, whistling 'In The Hall of The Mountain King before chuckling darkly. "Hehehehehe."

"Ugh, that's just creepy." Leshawna shivered.

"Obviously the votes were tampered with!" Cameron said loudly. "I feel like a fly at a frog banquet! They're all out to get me!"

"Well mostly just Mal... and Scott." Trent said.

"Hey, has anyone noticed that Mal keeps trying to kill him?" Jo asked.

"Well he's kind of crazy." Trent said.

"No, I mean that he's specifically targeting Cameron." Jo said. "Why him? He's clearly the least threatening person on the island, so why him?"

"I don't know, easy target?" Geoff shrugged.

"Well clearly he could physically overpower everyone here, so that can't be the issue." Jo mused.

"Mal was created to protect Mike." Dawn said sagely. "He attacks those closest to Mike to keep them away."

"Bullshit." Heather said, annoyed. "If he was created to protect him, why the hell would he hate Mike?"

"Resentment." Dawn shrugged. "Mal is a twisted being, created to shield Mike from pain, over time, he has begun to hate Mike for putting him through what has happened to him."

"Putting him through what?" Bridgette asked, but Dawn stayed silent. "Oh come on, please?"

"If Mike wants to tell you, he will." Dawn said. "I've said enough things about him."

"Give it up, she never gives a straight answer." Jo looked annoyed at Dawn.

"Eight players down, seven to go!" Chris announced, standing outside the confessional. "Who's next to take a paddle in the big porcelain pond?" He asked. "My money's on this guy!" He whispered and pointed at the confessional.

"Hey!" Cameron stuck his head out of the confessional.

"Find out for sure when we return for another all new episode of Total Drama All Stars!" Chris announced, his mojo back.

"Ok, well, that was interesting." Noah said.

"My favorite part was when Jane and Brock kissed." Lindsay giggled.

"That didn't happen!" Jo snarled. "Ugh!"

"But Jo-" Brick began, only to have Jo give him a fixed glare that shut him up.

"I hate you all!" Jo snapped, running out the door and slamming it behind her.

"Wow, just when I thought Eva was the most temperamental person on the island." Noah said.

"She's got issues." Eva agreed.

"Well, that was fun, guys..." Sierra said, getting up. "But I have to go see Cody in the infirmary and take his temperature and make sure he's all snuggled up and cozy!" She grinned, rushing out the door.

"...How am I supposed to get down from here?" Cody suddenly realized, looking down.

"I don't know, jump?" Noah said.

"No way!" Cody said, clinging to the rafters.

"Me help." Dakota smiled, standing up to her full height, she simply grabbed Cody with one of her massive hands. She put him down and patted his head. "There Cody go, nice and safe!" She grinned.

"Th-thanks." Cody looked a little shocked. "Now I've got to get to my room before Sierra figures out I was never in the infirmary!" He ran out the door.

"Some things just never change." Noah groaned.

AN; Ok, first things first, I've reached 100,000 words! I had no idea I had that in me... also JOCKJOCKJOCKJOCKJOCKJOCKJOCK! And then second things... second? Duncan is a moron. In case you're wondering, the next interlude will be between the tenth episode and the eleventh, when Bridgette's meeting comes up. Now, for the questions: Why is it Sierra's first priority to figure out whether Zal is a thing? Who is in Harold's DnD campaigns? Exactly how did Mal even get away with all that shit in Juvy? Will Justin ever get over his hatred of Scott? Will Dawn ever stop giving personal information away like lollipops at a doctor's office? Will Jo ever acknowledge Brick's existence again? Will Sierra figure out that Cody doesn't like her? Why is Heather such a massive bitch? Will Jo and Brick actually get together or has the kiss killed any chance of a relationship? Will Anne Maria ever pronounce sabotage correctly? How did that wrestling match go?