The Peanut Gallery

by Starryoak

Total Drama All Stars has rolled around, and the non contestants have to watch. They'll be betting on who's going next, who's coming back, pretty much on anything and everything. Minor shipping possible.

10. Zeek And Ye Shall Find

"We've got Movie Sign!" Cody's voice rang out again at the usual time, everyone walking in.

"Oh my gosh, Cody, do you know what day it is?" Sierra grinned, having captured her prey successfully in a death grip that could be charitably described as a tight hug.

"You've been telling me for the last five hours..." Cody whimpered, having long given up escaping.

"IT'S THE 100th EPISODE!" Sierra squealed at ear piercing levels, completely ignoring Cody's obvious pain. "I'm so excited! Are you excited?"

"...Not really, no." Cody made a sad attempt to escape her grasp, looking pleadingly at everyone else.

"It's gonna be the greatest episode ever!" Sierra jumped up and down, still holding on to Cody, she inadvertently shook him like a ragdoll

"Izzy's so glad she's back!" Izzy was somehow already hanging from the rafters. "Although it's kind of funny, my rafters kind of smell like Cody!"

"Really?" Sierra grinned, letting Cody go for a second before gripping his collar to keep him from running. "Cody smells so good, doesn't he!"

"What did I do to deserve this?" Cody whined quietly, before Sierra pulled him back into the hug.

"Can you let go of him?" Noah asked. "I don't think he can breathe."

"Oh sure he can!" Sierra grinned. "Isn't that right, Codykins?"

"Actually Sierra-" Cody began, but Sierra squeezed him even harder. "-Yeah, whatever!" He coughed out.

"Sierra, let go." Noah said, annoyed.

"Why?" Sierra asked.

"Because Cody doesn't want to be hugged!" Noah groaned.

"You know, I can speak for myself..." Cody said softly.

"Clearly, you can't, or you would have done something!" Noah whispered back rather sharply.

"Cody is fine being hugged, isn't that right?" Sierra asked again, this time looking a little more angry. When he didn't respond, she looked indignant. "Isn't that right?" She asked again.

"Not really, no." Cody said quietly.

"What?" Sierra pouted, tearing up. "But everyone loves hugs!"

"Well I don't!" Cody suddenly pushed Sierra away. "Sure, maybe sometimes, but I also like breathing properly and hanging out with Noah!" He said nervously.

"What?" Sierra looked like she was going to explode. "Why would you want to hang out with him, huh?" She didn't even let Cody speak before zipping over to Noah and glaring at him. "Don't get any ideas about stealing my husband!"

"He's not your husband!" Noah groaned. "I don't want to steal him anyway!" He added as an afterthought.

"Yeah, well you better not!" Sierra growled. "And he is so totally my husband!"

"He is not!" Noah looked like he wanted to facepalm. "And even if he was, he can still do whatever he wants!"

"Well he wants to be with me!" Sierra said.

"Actually-" Cody began, only to have Sierra shush him.

"See, he wants to be with me!" Sierra looked smug.

"Sierra, I know this is between you and Noah, but I think you should let him hang out with whoever he wants." Bridgette butted in sheepishly.

"But he wants to hang out with me!" Sierra repeated her delusion.

"No I don't!" Cody finally got the guts up to say something. "I don't want to hang out with you, Sierra!"

"You-you don't?" Sierra looked like she was going to cry.

"Um, well, no?" Cody said sheepishly, twiddling his fingers. "But-but that doesn't mean I don't want to hang out with you later, but right now I want to hang out with Noah!" He said hastily, not able to stop Sierra from wailing. "Oh come on..."

"Let me try, ok?" Bridgette smiled at Cody and walked up to Sierra. "That's no way to act on today of all days!" She said, putting on an authoritative act. "It's the hundredth episode! You have a duty to..." She paused in thought. "Uh, you have a duty to live twert the premiere! You don't want to disappoint your fans, do you?"

"No, I don't!" Sierra suddenly perked up. "It's my duty to report on this!"

"Um, completely unrelated to this, but has anyone noticed that the interns looked really happy this morning?" Trent interrupted them.

"Yeah, Bobby even gave me and Tyler free fruit drinks!" Lindsay grinned. "With extra parasols and super sparkly sprinkles!"

"Lindsay, the drinks are always free." Beth said.

"Well yeah, but he put sparkles on them!" Lindsay smiled. "The last time he did that was that one time when Chip was stuck in the bathroom all episode!" She giggled.

"Oh my gawd that was so funny!" Anne Maria chuckled. "He was there all freaking day! Stuck in the crapper!" She snorted with laughter.

"Maybe something bad happened to Chris..." Staci said. "If the interns are celebrating, that either means something really good happened to them, or something really bad happened to Chris."

"Maybe they've all been fired?" Sam shrugged. "That would be pretty sweet for them."

"Well they wouldn't still be here if they were." Bridgette jumped into the conversation.

"Oh come on, Jo, please just talk to me!" Brick ran in, chasing after an extremely annoyed Jo.

"..." Jo glared at him, but said nothing. "What's the big deal with the interns? I'm pretty sure I saw one of them singing 'Ding Dong The Witch is Dead' a couple hours ago." She asked everyone except Brick.

"Maybe Chris dead!" Dakota grinned.

"That would explain it." Jo smiled as well. "I might join in once this is over if that's true."

"I'd party to that." Geoff admitted, before Bridgette gave him a sharp look. "Oh come on, babe, he's evil!"

"Geoff, Chris is evil, but..." Bridgette tried to keep her righteous indignation, but faltered. "Ok, I kind of would party to it too... just a little..."

"Can we please just get this over with?" Heather rolled her eyes. "I don't care about any of this. Either Chris is dead or he isn't, and debating it only keeps me from my pedicure appointments!"

"Last time on Total Drama All Stars!" Chris announced, clips playing.

"Hey, he remembered the All Stars bit this time!" Harold snickered.

"The teams were no more," His announcement of the merge played. "And it was a free for all race for the machines, for a regatta to boat around Wawahnakwa!" The TV's icon race played. "But, some floated better than others," Zoey and Cameron's sinking boat played. "For some reason-" He coughed. "Mal!" He coughed again.

"And of course he conveniently leaves out the bit where he almost left Zoey to die." Bridgette frowned.

"Well she did jump in on her own, babe." Geoff shrugged. "Kind of her own fault there, you know?"

"Hey, I just remembered something!" Trent gasped. "Remember when we bet on when Zeke would come back?"

"Yeah?" Eva said, annoyed. "And so far, nothing's happened."

"Well, the episode's title is 'Zeek and You Will Find'." Trent said, pointing at the labeling for the episode. "And they make up the names after the episode is cut together, so..." He trailed off, his point made.

"Oh, and Dawn said he'd come back this episode, yah!" Staci grinned. "She bet ten bucks on it!"

"A decision which I'm beginning to regret." Dawn sighed. "All I know is that the tea leaves said today would be a dark day."

"And Chef supplied some dynamite entertainment!" The explosion of Gwen and Courtney's boat was played. "Alejandro won the challenge, and Duncan proved he still had a little villain in him AFTER ALL!" He growled the last part as his cottage/mansion exploded, sniffling in sadness but covering it up.

"Seeing that never gets old." Geoff grinned.

"Cameron would have gotten the flush," Chris explained as Duncan's arrest scene started playing. "But he was saved by Duncan's court ordered exit, complete with police escort. That'll learn him!" He laughed.

"So Duncan's actually in jail now..." Cody said. "I can't say I'm surprised."

"I kind of am." Staci said. "I thought he was going nice!"

"Seven players move on," The camera focused in on Chris on the docks. "Soon, one more will be gone!" He declared. "Who will it be? Stick around and see, here on Total Drama All Stars!"

"Me hope Chris was smashed!" Dakota smiled, miming the smashing motion with her hands.

"We don't even know if he does get hurt." Sam shrugged. "I mean, the interns might have gotten a raise or something..." He paused before chuckling. "No way that's what happened, huhuhuh..."

"Ahhh..." Alejandro sighed happily, the camera focusing in on the hot tub he was in. "This is the life." He sighed, his eyes closed. "The life I deserve." He grinned. "The life I will have, after I win the million dollars!"

"You know, as the son of a diplomat, he technically already is living the high life." Harold said.

"It is kind of weird that he'd be so obsessed with the million if he's already filthy stinking rich..." Leshawna mused.

"Butler, would you like to hear a story about me?" Alejandro asked, either oblivious to or not caring that the butler left after handing him a drink. "I was born a beautiful man-" He began, only to be rudely interrupted.

"Hey roomie!" Chris grinned. "Since my house got destroyed, looks like I'll be staying here!"

"Pfft!" Geoff held back his laughter. "Aww man, this is priceless!"

"Hey, it's no fun for me either!" Chris tossed the towel covering his... area onto Alejandro's face. "I lost everything, including my swim trunks!" He chuckled as Alejandro tossed the towel aside, grossed out.

"Ewewewewewew!" Lindsay shrieked.

"Yeah, that is... precisely all of the wrong. All of the wrong." Cody shivered.

"There's an image I could have lived without." Noah agreed.

"And my mom's already texting me to see if I got an uncensored view for the McLean Museum..." Sierra sighed, looking at her phone, surprisingly sane-ish. When everyone made disgusted faces, she shrugged. "Yeah, my mom's a little bit loopy."

"You know, every time I hear about her mom, I start understanding her a little more." Cody whispered to Noah.

"Don't tell me you think she's not nuts-" Noah looked confused, but Cody cut him off.

"Nonono!" Cody said. "I'm just saying, her mom is like if Sierra was forty and obsessed with McLean instead of me."

"Yeah, I guess crazy just runs in the family." Noah shrugged.

"Did I ever tell you about my aunt Lucy?" Izzy grinned, swinging upside down from a rafter, right next to Noah, who was surprisingly not shocked in the slightest. "She totally just got me, you know? Whenever dad was like, 'No, Isabella, no fire in the house.' she was all like 'That fire is totally harmless, let me show you how to make a real one!'... good times, good times." She paused to giggle and snort. "But then she kind of blew up something and she's been on the run ever since!" She laughed maniacally and swung back into the rafters.

"...I can't tell if she's joking or not." Cody said, confused.

"I have no idea. It's just easier to nod and move on." Noah explained, shrugging.

The camera cut to the halls of the hotel, Alejandro shivering and glaring at no one in particular."Ugh... que frio!" Alejandro said, before looking up, his eyes widening. The camera swiveled to show a room off to the side, glowing blue. "Que, what have we here?" He asked, the camera cutting inside to show the recording studio seen in episode five. "So this is how Chris knows all..." Alejandro grinned.

"This should not be a surprise." Heather rolled her eyes. "Everyone saw it during the serial killer challenge."

"I liked that episode!" Owen grinned. "Besides the actual psycho killer and the terror, it was really fun!" He shared a mischievous glance with Izzy.

"I didn't find it fun..." DJ shivered. "I still have nightmares..."

"What, of Heather's hideous facial?" Leshawna smirked.

"It was a lot scarier in the dark!" DJ said defensively.

"Shut up!" Heather glared at all of them. "I have a pedicure in an hour and I refuse to be late!"

"All the footage since we arrived here?" Alejandro took a CD out of the box of them on Chris's desk. "Hmmm... Mal's greatest hits..." He read the label.

"Of course he'd keep a file of them." Bridgette rolled her eyes. "And of course it would be labeled like that."

"How interesting..." Alejandro put the CD into a nearby player, and it began showing all of Mal's deeds since he reappeared, from breaking Sam's GameGuy to Sierra's smartphone, and even to his most recent rigging of the votes.

"The question being, why is the time he beat up Izzy not in here?" Jo asked. "Or the time he tried to brain Zoey with a club?"

"My best guess would be so he could claim ignorance." Staci shrugged. "Like, if he doesn't keep a record of them, he could deny he knew about it?"

"...But he edits the show." Jo looked annoyed. "There's no way he could actually claim innocence."

"Well yeah, but he could try." Staci said.

"Izzy totally could have beat him." Izzy insisted. "She was just caught off guard by Mike's super loud thoughts, like 'Help me, help me!' over and over!"

"...I'm not going to question it because it's not worth it." Noah said, urging himself not to ask about the new logical impossibility.

"Time to plant some evidence!" Mal grinned, walking into the boy's loser cabin, holding the tampered votes.

"Hola strange one, what are you up to?" Alejandro narrowed his eyes.

"Alejandro, how could you?" Mal laughed to himself as he pushed the votes under Alejandro's pillow. "Heheheheheh!" He laughed as he walked off.

"Ok, that was pretty impressive." Heather said, snickering evilly. "Planting evidence in Al's loser bed? That's brilliant!" She grinned.

"I'm surprised you haven't jumped to defend your boyfriend." Jo smirked.

"Ok, first of all, he is NOT my boyfriend!" Heather snapped. "And second of all... you're one to be talking!"

"Oh yeah, he's totally not your boyfriend, I buy that!" Jo laughed and rolled her eyes. "I'm sure the time you two made out was totally an accident!"

"And by that logic, Brick's your boyfriend!" Heather said, angry and flushing.

"No he's not!" Jo blushed a fiery red, Brick standing nearby, not sure what to think.

"Well you certainly do a good job making it look that way!" Heather huffed. "Face it, you spend about as much time with his chest as Anne Maria does with her hairspray!"

"Hey, don't drag me into this." Anne Maria looked annoyed. "I ain't looking for trouble."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Jo snapped, blushing heavily.

"Oh, I have the stats right here!" Sierra grinned. "Let's see, you've touched his chest almost every time you two had a conversation in ROTI." She pulled out her phone and scrolled down the Jock blog.

"...Shut up!" Jo yelled, looking like she was going to strangle Sierra.

"Wow..." Brick was looking at the Jock blog over Sierra's shoulder. "I didn't really realize it happened that often!"

"Stop looking at that!" Jo growled at him.

"Shut up, both of you!" Heather yelled, silencing them. "I don't care if you two losers do or don't make out, but I certainly care about how much of our time you're wasting right now!"

"Planting evidence in my loser cabin bed?" Alejandro had his finger on his chin. "Nice try, but I will NOT be framed!" He ran out of the room.

"Oh my gosh what do you think the challenge will be?" Sierra grinned. "Knowing Chris, it's going to be big! He never misses the big dates on his shows!"

"Knowing Chris, it'll probably be insanely life threatening and impossible." Noah added.

"Well that's certainly a big possibility..." Sierra agreed.

"If the episode's name is anything, I bet it'll be a scavenger hunt." Trent said.

The camera switched to Cameron, Mal and Zoey all standing outside the cabins. "I didn't vote for you, honest!" Zoey said, worried.

"Uh, me neither!" Mal lied, faking a sad face. "But someone's been up to no good!" He put his hand in the air.

"Yeah, you." Leshawna looked annoyed.

"We should search the cabin and see if we find any clues!" Mal said as Alejandro slipped out of the loser cabin silently.

"Good idea, thanks you guys!" Cameron said happily.

"Uh, yeah, you guys better check over there!" Mal said as they walked into the room, pointing at the other side of the cabin.

"Nope!" Cameron opened the boiler and looked inside. "Uh, Zoey?"

"No clues in the drawers either!" Zoey said, fishing through one of the dressers.

Mal walked expectantly over to Alejandro's bed, smirking and picking up the pillow, only to be shocked when there was nothing there. "What?" Mal said in his normal voice.

"Anything there?" Zoey asked off camera.

"Well yea- uh..." He widened his eyes. "No..." He looked saddened.

"Huh!" Cameron reached underneath Mike's bead to find the tampered votes. "YOU!" He suddenly pointed at him angrily.

"Welp, I guess that wraps that up." Geoff said.

"Don't be too sure." Dawn frowned.

"But they just caught him!" Geoff protested, annoyed. "The dude's caught!"

"Not if he talks his way out of it." Dawn said. "Zoey and Cameron are both very trusting... "

"Uuh..." Mal nervously shifted his eyes, only for the camera to pan out, revealing Alejandro watching this on the monitor.

"Anything you can do, I can do better." Alejandro grinned. "And look better doing it."

"That's debatable." Heather scoffed.

"What, you saying Mike's hotter than Alejandro?" Anne Maria asked. "Cause if we're talking about Vito, oh hells yes he's way hotter, but Mike's ... not."

"But they're physically identical!" Noah protested.

"Hey, I ain't all about the bod, you know." Anne Maria looked insulted. "I don't just date guys with hot abs, that's just one of the requirements."

"Hello insurance policy..." He turned off the video and took the CD out.

"Heh, ok, as if!" Mal protested. "Why would I stick them under MY mattress and then suggest searching the cabin?"

"He's got a good defense." Jo said.

"He's right, Cam, it makes no sense!" Zoey agreed.

"None of it does!" Cameron threw his hands up and scattered the papers. "It's unlike any equation I've ever encountered!" He suddenly started doing it in his head. "Endangerment plus betrayal plus evidence equals AGH!" He yelled.

"I don't think that's a solid equation." Harold said.

"No one does, Harold." Leshawna rolled her eyes.

"Pal, you know you can trust me..." Mal nervously put his hand on Cameron's shoulder, before Cameron slapped it away.

"No, I can't trust anyone!" Cameron shouted. "I'm a lone wolf; I'm the new Lightning!" He realized. "Sha-something!" He screamed before running off.

"...Suddenly Bubble Boy seems more punchable." Jo smirked. "Guess he is the new Lightning."

"I do not sha-talk like that!" Lightning insisted.

"Don't worry Mike, I'll talk to him." Zoey reassured Mal, who sighed.

Confessional:

"Chris said the vote was unanimous." Cameron said, confused. "But how is that possible? I didn't vote for me!" He looked scared. "Someone tampered with the votes! But, who, how.. and why?" He curled himself up into the fetal position.

"Mal, he broke into the voting box, because he's psycho." Noah answered all three of Cameron's questions in order.

The night quickly turned into day as the camera cut to the speaker poles. "Challenge time, proceed to the Mclean spa library, pronto!"

"He has a library?" Beth asked. "That doesn't seem like Chris at all..."

"Technically that room Alejandro was in could be it." Harold said. "It's a library of CD's."

The camera switched to Scott walking out of the cabins, only for one of the boards to break under his foot. "Woah!" He cried as he fell to the floor.

"Heheheh." Justin chuckled.

"Ow, ow, ow ow!" Scott moaned, rubbing his head before lifting his arm to sniff his pits.

"Ewwww..." Lindsay whined.

"What, all dudes do it." Geoff shrugged, before everyone looked at him oddly. "What, you've never done that before?"

"No, I haven't." Trent looked confused.

"I have!" Owen snickered.

"See?" Geoff said nervously.

"Owen doesn't count if you're trying to prove that what you've done is normal." Noah rolled his eyes.

"Hey!" Owen looked hurt.

"Sorry, sorry, but it's true." Noah shrugged. "You and Izzy are both crazy."

"Aww, thanks!" Izzy grinned.

"Ahem." Courtney said, making her presence known.

"Uh, I was just making sure I don't stink..." Scott stuttered, clearly infatuated. "And I don't, seriously."

"Ehehe..." Courtney laughed nervously. "Uh, let's pretend I just showed up now."

"Cool-oh wait, don't!" Scott said, before widening his eyes and putting his hand out to stop her from walking forward, but she tripped anyway and fell right on top of him, the two sharing an 'accidental' kiss. Courtney gasping afterwards.

"Awwwww!" Katie and Sadie squealed together.

"How dare he?" Justin shouted. "How dare he kiss her?"

"He dared, get over it." Heather rolled her eyes.

"And technically she kissed him." Beth said. "Or is it more of a accident?" She stopped to think.

"I will not get over it!" Justin said, frustrated. "She is worth ten of him! And coincidentally, so am I!"

"You know, this looks a lot like Brick and Jo's kiss." Owen said.

"What?!" Izzy gasped. "They kissed?"

"No we didn't!" Jo huffed.

"They so totally kissed!" Sierra grinned. "Here, I'll text the vid to you!" She paused. "Also, what's a color that fits Scourtney, brown or fiery orange?"

"...You're already setting up a blog?" Cody looked impressed.

"Yep!" Sierra giggled. "So what's better?"

"...Orange?" Cody shrugged.

"Oh my gosh you're right!" Sierra squealed. "I should have just asked you in the first place, Codykins, you're so smart!" She batted her eyelashes at him, causing him to unconsciously scoot closer to Noah and farther from her.

"Oh my god!" Izzy grinned. "I totally knew they would make out!" She grinned.

"Really?" Staci looked confused. "Courtney and Scott?"

"Oh no, silly, Jo and Brick!" Izzy grinned. She scuttled over to Brick, somehow still hanging from the rafters upside down. "So, when's the first date?"

"Uh-" Brick began, slightly startled, but Jo cut him off.

"Never." Jo snarled. "Even if I did like him," She blushed slightly. "I don't do frilly fancy shit like dates."

"Oooh, you should come with me and Big O on one of our dates!" Izzy grinned. "We go down to the RCMP's storage unit and we break in! It's totally amazing!"

"...Owen..." Noah looked annoyed. "Have you been breaking national security on a regular basis?"

"...Maybe..." Owen fiddled around with his fingers, avoiding Noah's gaze. "We only take stuff that was Izzy's in the first place..."

"...Just... don't." Noah groaned. "Please don't get yourself killed or placed in some prison somewhere."

Confessional:

"That was... totally an accident! Eeeee!" Courtney said shakily, before squealing in delight.

"Oh great, she's completed the transformation." Eva grumbled. "She's now officially Katie 2.0."

Confessional:

"We kissed!" Scott had his hands up in triumph, laughing slightly. "I did stink a little." He sighed sadly.

"Grrrrr..." Justin made some more incomprehensible annoyed and enraged grunts. "I swear, when he comes here I will end him!" He growled.

"And I'm sure Courtney will be so pleased with you killing him." Noah rolled his eyes.

Both of them stood up, Scott lifting his leg and pulling his shoelace off, turning around and fashioning it into a ring, holding it out to Courtney. "Will you be my boyfriend?" He stuttered. "Uh, no, uh, my boyfriend-ugh!" He groaned, too lovestruck to think properly. "Uh, me yours, me boy-just.." He stopped. "Will you go out with me?!"

"Awwwwwww!" Sadie squealed. "He's giving her a ring!..." She paused. "Sure, it's a shoelace, and thats... kinda gross, but also kind of cute." She flip flopped on whether it was cute or not.

"I think it's sweet." Bridgette smiled. "Geoff did the same thing for me."

"I did not!" Geoff looked offended. "It was a waistband and it was a necklace!" He said, as if that was so much better, Bridgette rolling her eyes.

"Wow, huhuhuhuh." Sam laughed. "He's choking worse than I did with Dakota the first time we talked!"

"Me have pretty nostrils, right?" Dakota giggled, although it was deep.

"...Well they are really pretty." Sam said defensively.

"Awww..." Dakota smiled, and they both giggled together.

"Oh my god, gag me." Heather said, annoyed.

"Grrrr..." Dakota stopped giggling to growl at Heather.

"Yes!" Courtney grabbed the shoelace ring gingerly, grinning.

"NOOOOOO!" Justin suddenly yelled out, bursting into tears. "Why, Courtney, whyyyy?" He whined.

"Wow, drama queen much?" Sierra said, Noah looking at her oddly for the irony of that statement.

"Looks like Anti-Me's... Yeah, I don't know what." Noah looked at the sobbing Justin, unsure of what to do.

"Yeah, he's... weird." Cody laughed, and Noah snickered with him, earning Noah the stink eye from Sierra.

"I'm watching you..." Sierra hissed conspiratorially at him, Noah extremely confused.

Confessional:

"My first ring!" Courtney looked at the crudely made string.

"I would have given you rings!..." Justin made more blubbering noises as he sobbed incoherently.

"...Wow... Someone needs to cheer him up before he dies or something." Leshawna gaped.

"I'll help him!" Katie and Sadie both said at the same time and rushed over to him.

"Oh my gosh, Justin, you can do so much better!" Katie smiled at him.

"What's better than her?" Justin looked at her. "No one else is as pretty AND smart as she is!"

"But I'm sure we could find a prettier girl who's less smart?" Sadie said, scratching her head.

"Yeah, you could totally date both of us at the same time if you need to, like, feel better!" Katie suggested, Sadie nodding as well.

"Yeah this feels really sexist in a way I can't pin down." Bridgette tilted her head in confusion.

"Not even two girls could possibly make up for one Courtney." Justin sighed, Katie and Sadie both frowning.

"What the hell, dude, you just passed up dating two girls at once!" Geoff blurted out, before Bridgette glared at him. "I'm just saying, that's not an opportunity that comes up every day, that's all." He looked slightly nervous.

"Anne Maria, you try!" Sadie turned to Anne Maria, who was busy filing her nails, she suddenly looked up in confusion.

"Wha-why me?" Anne Maria looked annoyed.

"Well, you're really pretty and you hit on Justin a week ago!" Sadie whispered to her.

"Yeah, he's hot and all, but I don't date crybabies." Anne Maria shrugged, Justin whimpering. "But I'm, like, totally sorry for your loss or whateva'." She said falsely, going back to her nails.

"I'll keep it in my pocket." She said. "No way his shoelace goes on my finger!" She said, before whispering conspiratorially. "Boys pee outside! In the dark!" She explained.

"She has a point." Beth said.

"Ahehem!" Mal coughed, standing on the porch of the spa hotel. "I won't do it!" He called into the hotel, clearly faking it. "No, Cameron's my friend!" He lied, Cameron walking up behind him.

"Um, what's going on?" Cameron asked, confused.

"Hey!" Mal pretended to be surprised. "Scott and Courtney were just saying bad stuff about you."

"But I thought Soot and Carmen were kissing over by the cabins..." Lindsay tried to wrap her head around the lie.

"What?" Cameron gasped.

"Alejandro and Gwen too!" Mal lied.

"Ok, Scott, Courtney and Alejandro I could buy if I didn't know better, but Gothball?" Jo snickered. "She's like a declawed kitten!"

"I guess he's just grasping at straws." Brick smiled at her, only to have her huff and turn away from him, not acknowledging his comment.

"Gwen?" Cameron gripped his head. "I thought we were friends!" He said. "Well, she was on the villains team..." He mused.

"Ugh, why is he so gullible?" Trent groaned. "I mean, Gwen's been nothing but nice to him, and yet he's willing to buy that she's talking trash about him?"

"Thanks pal." Cameron walked up the stairs. "Sorry I said I couldn't trust you." He looked guilty for a second, but smiled. "Obviously I can."

"And Cameron seals his fate." Noah shrugged.

"I'm worried about him." Cody said. "He's already been the target of Mal's attacks twice."

"Technically he also tried to push him off the hill." Harold jumped in. "So three times."

"Not. Helping." Noah groaned.

"Good, but you're still in danger." Mal continued.

"Yeah, from you." Heather rolled her eyes. "Idiots."

"Right now, it's three to four," Mal placed his hand on Cameron's shoulder. "You, me and Zoey versus everyone else!" He waved his hand around the camp. "We need to lure one of them into our gang."

"He's... Wow." Heather smirked, impressed. "I couldn't have done it better myself..." She paused. "Well, yes I could, but I'm not in the game right now." She scowled.

"But how?" Cameron asked.

"We'll think of something." Mal grinned deviously.

The camera cut to all the contestants inside the CD library, Chef holding a cup of coffee and Chris mysteriously absent. "Where's Chris?" Courtney asked, holding Scott's hand.

"She has a point..." Sierra mused. "He'd never miss the hundredth episode!"

"Maybe he's in the bathroom getting ready?" Lindsay asked.

"...Maybe, but Chris normally finishes conditioning and styling his hair at ten." Sierra said. "Judging by the shadows, it's noon."

"You know Chris's hair care schedule?" Cody asked nervously.

"Oh no, that's my mom." Sierra said."I never really got her thing with Chris." She rolled her eyes. "I mean, he wasn't near as cute as you, Codykins!" She suddenly looked manic again and was staring at Cody not unlike a dog stares at a bone.

"Uh, thanks?" Cody looked confused and scared. "Help me!" He whispered to Noah.

"What am I supposed to do, muzzle her?" Noah whispered back.

"...Can you do that?" Cody looked hopeful.

"Of course, I keep ten of them around for when I'm feeling freaky-OF COURSE I DON'T HAVE ONE!" Noah's whispers were almost yelling.

"Just hush up, you'll see in a minute!" Chef said, agitated, sipping his coffee.

Cameron was intensely glaring at a nearby Gwen, who looked confused. "Uh, are you ok?" Gwen asked, but Cameron simply folded his arms and huffed.

"Bubble Brain's pretty easily led." Jo mused. "I could have used that." She frowned.

"Cameron's a good person!" Brick protested. "He's just..." He faltered for a good word to use. "Kind of a little naive." He admitted.

"I thought we agreed that we were never speaking again." Jo snapped at him.

"I-I didn't agree to that!" Brick stammered.

"Well too bad, because that's what's gonna happen!" Jo said, turning away from him.

"Awww, come on guys, just talk to each other!" Izzy somehow appeared behind Jo and shoved her into Brick's arms. "You've gotta!"

"We don't gotta-" Jo pulled herself out of Brick's shocked grip and pushed him away. "-do anything!"

"But you kissed!" Sierra butted in. "You can't just leave your fans hanging!" She whined. "You have to at least break up if you're going to never speak to each other!"

"We can't break up because we were never together!" Jo looked like she was going to punch Sierra, but was holding back.

"Well then, get together, the solutions simple!" Sierra clapped her hands together.

"UGH!" Jo groaned. "STOP INTERFERING WITH MY LOVE LIFE YOU CRAZY IDIOTS!" She shouted at the top of her lungs. "If I want to date Brick it's none of your business!"

"You want to-" Brick began, excited, but Jo cut him off.

"I do not!" Jo said, blushing and pulling him closer. "But if I did, it wouldn't be anyone's business when or if we went on dates!"

"Make out already!" Izzy called down, startling Jo into pushing Brick away.

"Someday I'll figure out how to explain to you when not to ruin the moment." Noah groaned.

The camera focused in on one of the screens, which showed Chris out in a clearing in the woods, where a banquet appeared to be set up, wearing a party hat and holding a party blower, which he blew on. "Welcome to episode 100 of Total Drama!" He announced, everyone sharing a nervous glance.

"Eeeeee!" Sierra squealed, pulling out a paper bag to hyperventilate into. "This is so exciting! It's just so amazing that you've all been doing this for like three years now!" She grinned. "It's just so special and great that everyone's come together to watch this with me!" She sniffled, apparently caught up in her delusions.

"Uh, we were all forced to be here." Noah said.

"Don't ruin this for me, husband-stealer!" Sierra hissed at him.

"I didn't-" Noah began. "You know what, it's not even worth it."

"To celebrate, I have an extra special, 100th episode challenge!" Chris smiled, confetti raining down as he laughed. In the background, a shadowy figure rose up from the table then ducked down and skittering off frame.

"Is-is that who I think it is?" Anne Maria shivered. "I ain't seeing things, am I?"

"That's-that's Ezekiel!" Bridgette's eyes widened in terror.

"I do not require any of the money for being right." Dawn said, not shocked in the slightest as Trent silently passed her the money. "I do not need it." She insisted, but Trent gave her the money anyway.

"Oh this is bad, this is very bad!" Katie said. "Zeke's like, so scary!" She whimpered, Sadie agreeing.

"I sure hope no one is allergic to rhinoceroses!" Chris seemed unaware of the dangerous feral psychopath behind him, pulling out a long list. "Or fire, or poison, or smallpox, gluten," He continued as Ezekiel crept up behind him, breathing heavily. Chris seemed to not notice.

"How does he not see that?" Noah groaned. "He's making hideous heaving noises and smells like dead rats!"

"How do you know what he smells like?" Cody looked concerned.

"I got close enough to smell him when someone-" Noah glared at Izzy. "- decided that it would be a great idea to get eaten by a feral!" He growled at her, but she remained oblivious. "He smells like dirt and rotting meat. Plus unwashed clothes and almost certainly toxic breath." He explained, wrinkling his nose. "Owen smells like roses compared to him."

"Aww, thanks!" Owen smiled, not getting that it wasn't a compliment.

"I'm just surprised Izzy isn't dead from rabies or something." Noah shrugged.

"I was totally fine, silly!" Izzy grinned. "The doctors fixed the infection from the bite while they fixed my jaw! They said they'd never seen that much bacterial infection on a bite wound!" She suddenly rifled through her hair. "Anyone want to see pictures?" She pulled out some photos.

"No!" Everyone said at once, panicked.

"Is that-" Gwen looked scared, watching the screen.

"Pure, real formaldehyde," Chris continued, absolutely oblivious to the feral freakshow standing right behind him.

"Formaldehyde?" Harold gaped. "Why would he need something that toxic? It's deadly even in small amounts!"

"Honey, they've got bigger problems than that stupid chemical." Leshawna gaped.

"Terror, tree nuts-" Chris continued, his voice fading into the background so the campers could be heard.

"Look out!" Everyone shouted.

"Don't warn him!" Jo groaned. "I want to see him get eaten!"

"Please, don't interrupt." Chris said flatly.

"Idiot!" Harold scoffed. "They've just told him to look out, why isn't he listening?"

"I think he just automatically tunes out all of our voices." Noah said.

"I'm-" Chris was about to continue when Zeke lunged down from the top of the screen, bagging Chris in a potato sack similar to the one used in the Jack the Ripper challenge, before lunging at the camera and causing it to lose connection.

"Eek!" DJ shrieked, covering his eyes. "Oh mama!" He whimpered.

"This is like, so scary!" Katie whined.

"Like, Freakshow's gonna kill him or something!" Anne Maria gaped, dropping her nail file in shock.

"Would that be that bad?" Jo shrugged.

"Yes it would!" Brick growled. "Chris may be the worst person I have ever met in my life, but that is not acceptable!"

"Oh come on, he's tried to kill us like fifty different times!" Jo groaned.

"That doesn't make it ok!" Brick looked annoyed.

"And anyway, it's not like I'm the one killing him or anything!" Jo said. "I'm just saying that if Zeke does off him, it wouldn't be that terrible!"

"Ugh, you are so infuriating!" Brick groaned.

"Yeah, well you're always playing goody two-shoes!" Jo countered. "It wouldn't kill you to just accept that bad people do bad things!"

"And you shouldn't just let them happen! Just because bad people do bad things, doesn't mean it's ok when people do bad things back!" Brick said, standing up.

"It's just karma!" Jo snapped back at him. "People act like jackasses and they get punched!"

"Your fists aren't karma!" Brick protested.

"Well they should be!" Jo yelled, looking like she was about to punch him, but faltered at the last second and sighed. "I can't do it." She sighed. "Just-shut up." She said quickly.

"Guys, I know you two are crushing on each other, but there are some more important things going on!" Trent interrupted.

"I am not-" Jo began.

"That's not the point!" Trent looked uncharacteristically angry. "The point is, Chris has been kidnapped by Ezekiel and that is way more important than whether or not he deserved it, which, for the record, he did." He added the last part quickly.

"I guess this explains why the interns were so happy, huhuhuh..." Sam chuckled nervously. "Gee, I hope it all turned out alright."

"If they aired it, it means everyone's still alive." Noah said. "They would have either cancelled it or ran a dedication to the deceased beforehand."

"Wow, I guess you're right." Sam smiled.

Chef suddenly spat out the coffee he was drinking, splattering it against the screen and dripping all over the electronics, fizzling them out. A deep humming was heard as each of the monitors cut out. "I-that can't-AGH!" Chef cried out, dropping the mug. "New challenge; FIND CHRIS!" He called out, voice breaking in fear.

"If the cameras cut out, how did they film the episode?" Beth asked.

"The camera's aren't the ones cut out, yah." Staci said. "It's just the mainframe itself. The cameras are all still filming, it's just not getting transmitted to the library."

"Oooh..." Beth said, nodding.

"My great great aunt was the inventor of-" Staci stopped herself. "Sorry, not the time, yah." She laughed nervously.

"You want us to hunt for ZEKE?" Gwen narrowed her eyes. "No way, he's psycho crazy!" She twirled her finger around her ear.

"That's putting it lightly." Leshawna said. "Boy's so nutty he ain't even human anymore!"

"Why hasn't he been put in the nuthouse yet anyway?" Jo butted in. "I mean, he's got a family, doesn't he?"

"Actually, he was in psychiatric care for a short time between the filming of the last episode of World Tour and the cruise right before Revenge of The Island." Sierra smiled. "Remember? They forced the facility to let him come on the cruise and anchored him to the mast."

"Ugh, right." Heather groaned. "That was when Alejand-robot picked me up out of freaking nowhere."

"Then how did he get in the mines, huh?" Anne Maria asked.

"He escaped while the interns were untying him and swam to shore." Sierra shrugged. "At least that's what they told me when I interviewed them."

"Hey, if no one saves Chris, there ain't no show!" Chef said, annoyed. "Which means no winner, and no million dollars!"

"What?" Mal gaped.

"That's not fair!" Courtney added.

"I love how that's what makes them care." Jo smirked. "Otherwise, let him rot."

"Where's Scott?" Tyler suddenly asked. "Dude's gone."

"Hey, you're right!" Trent said, confused. "Where'd he go?"

"Maybe he's just not in shot?" Sierra suggested.

"Hold on!" Alejandro said, stepping forward slightly. "We accept this challenge, but only if the one who finds Chris gets immunity for the next vote!"

"If it is the new challenge, then that's obviously going to happen." Noah rolled his eyes.

"And permanent residence in the spa hotel for as long as they're in the competition!" Courtney jumped in, pointing accusingly at no one in particular.

"She is so smart..." Justin sighed. "I once thought she was mine, but-" He was cut off by a yo-yo to the head, which left a large welt on his forehead. "My beautiful face! My forehead, ruined!" He sobbed.

"Jo, why'd you do that?" Brick asked.

"Cause he was gonna start monologuing about how 'gorgeous and smart' Courtney is and I'm not in the mood." Jo snarled.

"...Fair enough." Brick conceded, clearly also not in the mood to argue anymore.

"And they get to send one person to Boney Island!" Cameron added, narrowing his eyes.

"Fine, deal!" Chef raised his arms. "Just find Chris!" He shouted.

"Wow, Chet sure is worried about Kiff..." Lindsay said.

"Yeah, it is kind of weird." Eva shrugged. "You'd think he'd be happy."

"Well of course he's worried about Chris, they've been dating since season one, duh." Sierra rolled her eyes.

"Wait, what?" Cody asked.

"Haven't any of you noticed?" Sierra looked around at everyone's gaping expressions. "The cuddling, the time Chris asked Chef to rent a hotel room with him, the fact that they share a hot tub-" She continued listing off facts, but Jo shut her up with a yo-yo to the face.

"No one wants to think about that!" Jo shuddered.

"Last season, Zeke was living in the mines..." Zoey mused. "Maybe that's where he took Chris?"

"Oh no..." Sam paled over, everyone else gaping at him.

"What's wrong?" Harold asked, but Sam was already rushing over to Dakota's side, and didn't answer.

"To the mines!" Chef announced.

Dakota suddenly burst out into tears, shocking everyone as she wailed loudly, curling up into the fetal position, arms wrapped around her knees. "Me don't want to go back to mines!" She blubbered.

"Dakota, it's ok..." Sam comforted his girlfriend.

"Mines s-scary!" Dakota sobbed. "Mines make Dakota m-monster!" She blubbered, stuttering as she had trouble breathing.

"What's wrong with Dakota?" Lindsay looked worriedly at her sobbing mutant friend.

"She kind of has a problem with mines." Sam explained, rubbing Dakota's arm. "I've even stopped playing Mines of Worldcraft cause it upset her too much."

"You gave up your favorite game because of Dakota?" Cody looked impressed.

"Sure." Sam shrugged. "It was a cool game, but Dakota was getting really scared about all the underground stuff and I like her a lot more than any game." He explained, hugging his girlfriend's arm in a fruitless attempt to get her to calm down.

"Awwww, that's so sweet, Sam." Bridgette smiled.

"It's ok, Delila-Dakota." Lindsay walked up to Dakota as well, correcting herself when she almost called Dakota by a different name. "We're not in the mine..." She paused to check her surroundings. "Yep, not in the mine!" She nodded.

"Me-me not want to go back to mines..." Dakota looked down at her friend, tears still streaming down her face.

"We're not going to." Lindsay smiled. "If you want, you could just leave."

"The door's locked, numbnut." Jo rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but Dakota could totally break through it if she wanted." Brick shrugged.

"That's probably a good idea." Sam nodded. "Hey Dakota, we can leave now." He smiled up at her.

"...Me sorry..." Dakota still looked terrible, her mascara running. She got up and walked over to the doorway, calmly ripped it off its hinges and ducked through, crying, Sam running after her. After a couple seconds, Sam ran back.

"Uh, I'm gonna go with her, huhuhuhhuh." Sam laughed nervously. "Hey Dakota, you need to put the door back!" He called over to her, and she came back, sheepishly picking up the dented door and lodging it back in the frame. "Bye, guys." He waved through one of the cracks and ran after Dakota.

"...Why does that door keep getting broken?" Tyler asked, breaking the stunned silence.

"Well... That was... something." Trent said.

"Huh, looks like it's still sealed up." Mal said.

"Maybe there's another way in?" Cameron asked.

"Then find it!" Chef tossed them flashlights. "I'm heading back to the hotel to see if I can get the monitors working." He ran off.

"Of course he won't go down there." Bridgette huffed.

"Let's do this!" Gwen turned to Courtney and Scott, who were both smiling smittenly at each other.

"Um, yeah, sorry but, it's our one hour anniversary," Scott quickly put his arm around Courtney's waist, her grinning at him. "And three's a crowd." He ran off. "Bye!"

"Hehehehehe, sorry!" Courtney giggled, smiling broadly as she ran after her new boyfriend.

"Courtney and Scott, my forehead, could my day get any worse?" Justin whined.

"One hour anniversary?" Leshawna laughed. "Those two have it bad!"

"It's so cute!" Sadie grinned. "But, uh, not as cute as you and Courtney would be?..." She added absentmindedly, trying to comfort Justin.

"It is kind of sweet." Bridgette snickered. "I don't think he's ever dated anyone!"

"You would be correct." Dawn said. "Scott lives on a farm with his family. The only girls he knows are his sisters and cousins."

"You continue to know things that creep me out." Noah winced.

"Hey, it's not her fault she can see auras." Trent suddenly looked defensive.

"Calm down, calm down, I'm sorry I called your girlfriend creepy." Noah rolled his eyes as this made Trent blush and shut up.

"Alejandro?" Gwen asked him as he walked by.

"No thank you, only one person can win this challenge, and that person is going to be me!" Alejandro called back at her as he walked off.

"Ooh, wait up!" Gwen looked over at Cameron's group and ran up to them.

"Ohhh.." Cameron moaned guiltily as they all sped up.

Confessional:

"Seriously, what is up with Cameron?" Gwen asked, hands on her knees.

"She disses me then wants to hang out with me?" Cameron asked, confused. "Make up your mind!" He shouted at the camera.

"Poor Cameron." Dawn sighed.

"Yeah, it does suck that everyone's playing him." Trent agreed.

"Oh, I guess that's bad too." Dawn added, leaving Trent confused.

The camera cut to Courtney and Scott, following a trail of foot/paw-prints (or whatever you'd classify Zeke's feet as). "Look, this must be where Zeke gets in and out!" She pointed out the blatantly obvious.

"Ladies first!" Scott smiled, pointing the way, before pausing awkwardly as Courtney was about to walk in. "Or is that wrong cause this is dangerous?" He second guessed himself. "Or is that wrong cause this is the 21st century? Or is it the 22nd?" He gripped his head in confusion as Courtney rolled her eyes and turned on her flashlight, going ahead. "Ah, cool." Scott looked nervous. "I'll make sure he doesn't sneak up on us from behind."

"Aww, he's trying to be a gentleman!" Beth giggled. "He's acting just like Brady on our first date!"

"I still can't believe he's real." Leshawna shrugged. "Live and learn, I guess."

"I still can't believe he hasn't dumped you yet." Heather scoffed.

"Hey, Brady says I'm pretty just the way I am!" Beth said, hands on her hips.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Heather snorted.

"It's so weird that Scott of all people would try to be a gentleman." Bridgette said. "He's being so nice to Courtney that you'd never remember how mean he is normally."

"I could be nicer." Justin whispered angrily to himself.

Confessional:

"I have NO idea how to be a boyfriend." Scott groaned. "The only advice my dad ever gave me about dating was 'If you're ever in Holland, go Dutch'." He folded his arms. "Oooh..." He laughed as he got the joke. "I get it now."

"I don't." Geoff said, turning to Harold. "Dude, what's that mean?"

"Gosh, why would I know?" Harold said. "I'm not a human dictionary you know." He folded his arms.

"So do you know?" Geoff continued.

"Ugh." Harold sighed in defeat. "To 'go Dutch'." He pulled out his handy pocket dictionary. "Going Dutch is a term that indicates that each person participating in a group activity pays for themselves, rather than any person paying for anyone else."

"So it's making your girlfriend pay for herself?" Geoff scratched his head. "That's terrible advice!"

"It isn't if you're dirt poor, like Scott is." Leshawna said.

The camera cut to the rest of the cast (Gwen, Cameron, Mal and Zoey) inspecting several holes in the ground. Mal was shining his flashlight down one of the holes. "I bet this leads down to the mine!" He said, the camera panning over to Cameron.

"There's another hole over here!" Cameron said, before pointing to a different hole. "And here too!"

"Oh nononono, I can't go down a hole!" Gwen was pacing back and forth, eyes wide open. "I've got a phobia about being buried alive, no way I ca-AGH!" She was walking along before she stepped on a hollow piece of ground and the ground crumbled from under her feet, sending her plummeting.

"GWEN!" Both Trent and Cody shouted at the same time, worried and scared.

"Oh no, what if she's got a broken arm or something after this..." Trent shivered, eyes wide. "Or she might be-"

"Calm down, please." Dawn placed her hand on Trent's shoulder. "Worrying won't do anything to help anyone. Gwen is fine, she will be fine..." She smiled soothingly. "Well, alive, anyway..." She whispered to herself inaudibly.

"Thanks..." Trent took a deep breath in and out for a second to calm himself down, before smiling at her awkwardly, blushing.

"It's ok Codykins!" Sierra picked up on Cody's fear and suddenly appeared by his side, snuggling his arm and stroking his head. "Don't you worry about Gwen, I'm sure she's fine! And even if she isn't, well, that's just one less chance for infidelity!" She narrowed her eyes sneakily.

"Uh...that really doesn't make me feel better..." Cody said, desperately trying to extract himself from Sierra's vice-like grip, giving Noah the full force of his 'help me' puppy dog eyes.

"Ugh..." Noah realized Cody was staring at him and groaned. "I swear, I have to do everything around here." He grumbled. "Let go." He said simply, grabbing Cody's free arm and tugging slightly.

"I'm not letting you steal my husband!" Sierra held onto Cody even tighter.

"Can you please not squeeze my arm that tight?" Cody asked quietly, but neither seemed to notice (or care).

"I am not trying to steal Cody!" Noah said, frustrated and blushing slightly. "Why would you even assume that?"

"I've seen you two snuggle!" Sierra looked enraged. "Not just when you kissed his ear, which I am still holding against you, by the way." She added the last part quickly. "TDA special, I caught you two snuggling!" She pulled out her phone and pulled up an image of the two, in fact, snuggling, Noah's head on Cody's lap and his arm on Cody's thighs. Cody looked at the photo for a second, eyes wide and blushing bright red, before looking down and mumbling awkwardly.

"...Wow, Fruitcake, you really were laying it on a little thick there, weren't you?" Eva whistled softly to Noah.

"Shut up." Noah said, keeping a straight face and trying to not blush.

"So I know you're trying to steal him from me!" Sierra concluded. "Cody's mine!"

"I'm not anyone's!" Cody shouted, wriggling out of Sierra's grip at last. "Stop being so crazy!" He snapped at Sierra. "I am not, will not, and never have dated you!"

"B-but-" Sierra stammered.

"I want to be friends," Cody explained, looking hurt. "But every time I give you the chance to be just friends, you take it too far! I don't like you that way and I never will!"

"So you're leaving me for Noah?" Sierra looked like she was on the verge of another blubbering fit.

"Ye-wait what?" Cody was about to agree, but he realized what she was saying. "No, I'm not leaving you for Noah!"

"But you've been hanging out with him all the time and you snuggled and you're nicer to him than you ever were to me..." Sierra sniffled.

"I hang out with him because he's my friend." Cody reassured her.

"And I hang out with him because the rest of my friends are in some way insane." Noah said. "Cody's the only friend of mine that I don't have to worry about, you know, getting tossed in jail!" He looked at Izzy pointedly.

"Oh, and you kissed!" Izzy tossed in her comment, giggling.

"We were asleep!" Noah stressed the final word. "Asleep; as in not concious!" He added.

"When did this become a discussion over whether you two like each other?" Trent interrupted them. "Gwen just fell down a pit and you guys are having cat fights over who likes who?"

"...I guess we should be more focused on Gwen..." Cody sighed.

"This isn't over." Sierra gave Noah the stink eye.

"Oh how I wish it was." Noah folded his arms and groaned.

"Gwen!" Zoey quickly jumped in after her falling friend.

"Come on Cam, I have a good feeling about this one!" Mal said, voice smooth as he grinned.

"Shouldn't we follow the girls-AH!" Cameron asked him, before Mal grabbed his arm and jumped into the hole, dragging Cameron with him.

"Oh this can't be good." Bridgette looked worried.

"Perfecto!" The camera cut to a stream that led straight into one of the mineshafts, Alejandro standing on one of the rocks. He leapt across to another rock, only to stumble. "Agh!" He moaned in pain, the camera cutting to show that one of his boots was wedged in between two rocks. "Agh, eh, eh!" He tried to tug himself free. "Ugh." He sighed in defeat.

"Ditch the boots, moron!" Heather screeched at him. "You're wasting precious time!"

"Hello?" Alejandro called out. "Anyone? Gwen? Still wanna be partners?" He asked nervously.

The camera cut to the potato sack Chris was tied up in, Ezekiel pulling the top off it to reveal Chris, tied up. Oddly, it appeared as though his hair was floating up. "Hardy har har, Chef, yep, you got me!" He laughed nervously, the camera quickly rotating and panning out to show that he was actually tied up, dangling over a massive pit of toxic goo, Ezekiel hunched over nearby.

"He thinks Chef did it?" Geoff asked. "Dude, that's just weird. I mean, does Chef bag him and tie him up regularly?"

"...I don't want to know." Bridgette said, disturbed.

"I'm impressed by the fact that Zeke's smart enough to set up this trap." Staci admitted.

"I'm not." Anne Maria shrugged, trying to keep her cool. "While Freakshow was trying to win me over, he showed me all these weird drawings he made."

"Weird drawings?" Staci looked intrigued.

"Oh yah, totally. He's drawn all sorts of stuff on the walls of that freaky little gopher den of his. I think he used berries for the paint... that or something else entirely..." She shivered. "It was mega-gross." She faked barfing noises.

"Chef?" Chris asked again, the camera switching to Ezekiel breathing heavily in what might have once been called a laugh, rubbing his hands/claws together. "Ezekiel?" Chris gasped, before laughing. "Hey, buddy!"

"Is he insane?" Jo asked. "That's Freakzekiel he's talking to!"

"I thought Chris was nuts, but this is a whole different level." Leshawna said, shocked.

"Looking good..." He laughed nervously. "Quite the killer drool you got there," He said as the camera zoomed in on his teeth, sharpened and yellowed, as a sickly green trail of acidic goop trailed down his chin and dripped down onto the ground, sizzling as it ate through the rock. "That's toxic waste exposure there... for yah... am I right?" He laughed nervously, pausing awkwardly as he tried to keep his cool.

"...This is much less fulfilling than I thought it would be." Jo looked bored. "I mean, he's not even scared!"

"Oh he is, he's just hiding it." Dawn smiled. "Ezekiel plans to drop him in the waste and watch it eat through him."

"...I thought that was obvious." Trent shivered. "Ugh, this is just so wrong..."

"Zeke's really scary." Katie said. "I remember him hanging around the playa when he was human, though... He looked really lonely."

"Oh my god, yeah." Sadie nodded. "He was so sad looking all alone like that!"

"Can we stop being depressing?" Beth said, frowning. "I don't like thinking about that too much, it's sad."

"Thinking about what?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"About how Zeke used to be human and his family had to watch World Tour and see him go feral," Beth explained quickly, "And then watch him get burned alive in the volcano and-" She stopped herself, she looked like she was about to cry if she hadn't.

"That is sad." Lindsay frowned. "Let's not talk about Eddy anymore."

"Um..." Chris stuttered nervously as Ezekiel growled. "What's up, you upset with me or something?" Ezekiel continued to growl and make odd lip movements, as if he was trying to speak, before raising himself up onto his feet and hissing and waving his arms in an attempt to communicate.

"He's trying to talk?" Bridgette looked surprised. "I thought he wasn't able to."

"Um, I'm not very well versed in Freakezoidal interpretive dance..." Chris mused. "But I'll take that as a yes!"

"Of course he's upset with you!" Bridgette shouted. "He's been turned into a freaky monster because of you!"

"Well technically he chose to sneak back onto the plane on his own," Noah countered. "Even after being thrown off in London."

"Well yeah..." Bridgette paused. "But it still is Chris's fault for bringing him back into the mines."

"And taking him from the psychiatric hospital just for a stupid cruise shot of the old cast in ROTI." Heather added.

"Yeah!" Bridgette agreed. "Wow, I just agreed with Heather..." She said to herself.

The camera cut to Cameron and Mal walking along in the mineshaft, Mal grinning maliciously behind Cam's back. "Zoey, Gwen?" Cameron called out worriedly. "Hello?" He called again.

"Awww nuts..." Mal faked sadness. "I guess the holes took us to different areas of the mine..." He smirked evilly.

"Oh this can't end well." Beth whimpered.

"Come on, work!" The camera cut to an entirely blacked out shaft, Gwen's voice ringing out in the dark, her flashlight occasionally flickering as she hit it over and over again to get it to start. "Ok, you can do this..." She told herself, the flashlight flickering. "Don't panic..." She insisted. "GAGHHH!" Her flashlight shut out and she screamed, the camera panning out of one of the speakers in the library.

"Oh man, poor Gwen..." Trent sighed. "I'm still worried about her."

"Of course you are." Dawn smiled. "You're a very caring person, and it shows in your aura." She patted his chest. "You still harbor feelings for her, but you know they cannot be." She smiled. "I think it's very sweet how you respect her decision to break up with you, even though it hurt you."

"...Th-thanks." Trent stuttered, blushing as she was touching the handprint on his shirt.

"Oh, it's perfectly alright." Dawn smiled, completely oblivious to the fact that he was blushing and nervous. "I'd be happy to go with you, by the way." She took her hand off of his chest and folded her arms back into her meditative state.

"Wh-what?" Trent blinked, shocked.

"You wanted to ask me if I wanted to go with you on a date." Dawn said sagely. "It was all over your aura..." She paused. "Oh, did you want me to wait until you asked? Is that how it's supposed to work?"

"..." Trent's eyes were wide and his cheeks turned pink. "Uh... I was going to wait until after the show." He admitted.

"Oh, ok!" Dawn smiled and nodded. "Never mind then, I'll wait for you to ask."

The camera continued panning out to the library, where one of the interns was fiddling with electrical cords on the floor. "We got sound!" Chef said. "Now where's the dang picture?" He asked, voice still cracking. The intern silently pointed to the camera. "Oh, you want an update?" Chef whispered indignantly. "I got no idea what Zeke is up to, where Chris is, or where the kids are at!" He said, throwing his hands in the air. "And I got no idea how we gonna figure out any of that with the monitors off!" He complained at the intern, who coughed to get his attention.

"On Total Drama All-" The intern began the fade out.

"Fix the monitor!" Chef interrupted him, shouting.

"Oh my gosh, that's like one of the only times an intern has spoken!" Sierra clapped. "It's totally the 100th episode now that that's happened!"

"Oh the interns talk all the time!" Izzy grinned. "They tell me stuff like 'Izzy, put that snake down!' or 'Izzy, we hired you to dress up as a spider and catch the campers, not us!'!" She used funny voices for her impressions of the interns.

"Pfft!" Owen snickered. "You're really good at impressions!" He giggled.

After the commercial break, the camera cut back to the pitch black cavern that Gwen was in, nothing visible. "AGH!" Gwen was walking along quietly for a few seconds, before Zoey turned on her flashlight and startled her, Gwen screaming. "Zoey!" She shrieked, voice breaking.

"There you are..." Zoey grinned.

"You scared me half to death!" Gwen yelled at her, before suddenly changing her tune and gripping Zoey in a tight hug. "Thank you so much-" She smiled, before snapping back to her terrified state. "Don't ever do that again!" She yelled, before again hugging Zoey. "You're the best!"

"...Wow, she's swinging moods faster than my mom when she was pregnant with my little brother." Heather said, weirded out.

"I'm here, I'm here..." Zoey smiled soothingly, slightly surprised by her sudden hugs, but patting her on the back anyway. "Deep breath in." She commanded, Gwen doing so. "Now blow out the candle!" She held out her finger for Gwen, who blew out as if she was in fact blowing out a candle. "Better?" She asked, Gwen nodding silently. "Good, let's keep moving." She smiled and walked ahead.

Confessional:

"Man, she's good!" Gwen said, impressed.

"She reminds me of my mom when I was scared as a kid." Bridgette said. "She did the same trick, too."

"We need to figure out who to pull over to our side," Mal explained to Cameron as the camera cut to them walking along. "Alejandro's not trustworthy, and Gwen and Courtney are too tight..." He considered his options, Cameron simply listening with a worried look on his face. "That leaves Scott."

"Mal continues to impress me." Heather smiled. "He's not just psycho, he's actually strategic!"

"That's not a good thing." Bridgette frowned.

"I'm just saying, he's good." Heather shrugged.

"He's not going to want to team up with me after I made him sharkbait!" Cameron said worriedly.

"He might, if we can drive a wedge between him and Courtney!" Mal smirked evilly.

"...I like this plan." Justin perked up.

"How come Bubble Brain doesn't see through this?" Jo said, frustrated. "Mike's like the personification of a Goody-Two-Shoes! He'd never say anything like that!"

"Well, he has lied constantly about his MPD, so he isn't really completely trustworthy." Brick suggested. "And Cameron is a little too reliant on his friends being who they say they are."

"And I know exactly how to do it!" Mal gasped. "Just kiss her in front of him!"

"UGH!" Justin groaned loudly.

"This isn't a good plan." Noah said.

"Well it isn't nice, but-" Cody said, but Noah interrupted him.

"No, I mean that there's no way it'll work out the way he wants it to." Noah explained. "Even if Cameron does kiss Courtney, and Scott does blame Courtney instead of Cameron, Courtney will still blame Cameron and that-" His eyes widened as he realized something. "-And that's exactly what he wants her to do."

"You're correct, Noah." Dawn said somberly. "Mal's plan is not to help their alliance at all, but to simply cause as much pain as possible without throwing suspicion onto himself."

"...Dude, that's not cool." Tyler interjected. "Like, wow."

"How would Scott beating me up drive a wedge between them?" Cameron asked.

"Hehe, no!" Mal giggled falsely. "You gotta make it look like she kissed you!" He smiled. "Then you'll both be guys she toyed with!" He explained. "Instant camaraderie!"

"Maybe, but he could still crush me first..." Cameron sighed. "There must be another way!" He said as he walked off, Mal clearly getting fed up with Cameron, narrowing his eyes into a glare.

"I don't like that look." Owen said nervously. "It's like the one Izzy gives the squirrels in her backyard..."

"Nngh-yah!" The camera cut again to Alejandro, who pulled his leg free. "Ah, finally!" He grinned, the camera showing that he had left his boot wedged in the rocks. "Adios, beautiful bota," He walked off. "Your brother will surely miss you!" He added.

"He gives a better goodbye to one of his boots than he does to his girlfriend-" Heather complained, before stopping herself as she realized what she said. "-than he does to his rival. I said rival!" She insisted mostly to herself.

The camera cut to an extreme close up of Ezekiel glaring at the camera, Chris reflected in his dulled and reddened eyes. "Where's all this anger coming from?" Chris asked, laughing. "Was it season 3, when I kicked you off the plane, made everyone hunt you down and threw you in a volcano?"

"Actually, Zeke kind of threw himself into the volcano." Geoff said.

"Along with my million dollars!" Heather grumbled to herself.

"Or was it last year," Chris continued, the camera focusing in on Ezekiel, who was baring his teeth and making heavy breathing noises. "When I threw you in a mine filled with toxic waste?" He asked, Ezekiel's growling growing louder. "Ooh, oh, was it this season, when I flew you back in, just to boot you out again?" He asked, apparently reaching the tipping point.

"GRAGH!" Ezekiel screamed out in rage at this statement.

"...Why is he provoking the raging feral psychopath?" Jo asked.

"It's in his nature, he has to be an asshole to everyone." Heather concluded.

"Aww, you would let a little thing like worldwide televised humiliation come between us, would yah?" He asked nervously, Ezekiel finally having enough and bringing out a box contaning two rats. "Cute pets!" Chris said falsely, finally looking nervous.

Gwen and Zoey were still walking along as the caverns around them made odd dripping noises and scampering could be heard, Gwen looking back and forth nervously as they walked. "Did you hear that? I heard that, did you hear me hearing it?" She asked nervously, before Zoey gave a short scream and the growling got louder. "AGH!" She screamed as she looked down at the flashlight, which had fallen to the ground.

Confessional:

Gwen made several incomprehensible 'eep'ing noises, curled up sideways in the fetal position, eyes wide in traumatized terror.

"Gwen!" Cody yelled, frightened. "Zeke's gonna eat her!"

The scene switched to the library again, the intern inside the monitor station itself, fixing the wiring and giving them a signal to where Chris was being held. "We've got picture!" Chef called out, before the video cut to show Zoey trapped in a makeshift jail cell, clearly the one used in 'Grand Chef Auto' that Zeke had dragged inside the mine. "What in tarnation is-" Chef cried out as he looked at the footage, before gasping heavily.

Confessional:

Chef was curled up into the same fetal state as Gwen was in the confessional, making similar incomprehensible 'eeps'.

"Ok, I know they're all in danger, but..." Jo began, before bursting out into laughter. "Chef making squeaky noises is hilarious!"

"I like your eyes." Scott said awkwardly as he led Courtney along. "Both of them... on your face." He continued. "They look good."

"Awwww, he's trying so hard!" Beth giggled.

"He reminds me of you, Tyler!" Lindsay added.

"Really?" Tyler looked vaguely hurt. "Am I really that bad?"

"No way!" Lindsay said. "I like it when you tell me I have pretty ears!"

"Aww man, thanks, Linds." Tyler sighed in relief. "For a second there you had me worried."

"Oh," Courtney darted her eyes around nervously. "Thanks! I like yours too!"

"Both of them?" Scott asked, accidentally shining his flashlight in her eyes.

"Ok, sure, can you stop burning my retina's now?" Courtney asked, squinting her eyes.

"Hey, you gotta give it to him, he tried." Geoff shrugged.

"I can't see anythi-waah!" She walked forward stiltedly, before falling off of a cliff.

"Courtney!" Justin cried out. "Oh, this was all part of his plan, I'm sure of it, seducing Courtney and then crippling her!"

"You're giving Sharkbait too much credit." Jo snarked. "He couldn't plan his way out of a paper bag."

"Courtney!" Scott shouted in fear, diving after her, dropping the flashlight. "I'm your girlfriend!" He yelled, getting it wrong yet again.

"Dude still got it wrong!" Geoff burst out into laughter, Bridgette looking on with slight disdain, but said nothing.

The camera switched to Cameron and Mal, but Scott and Courtney's screams could still be heard. "You hear something?" Cameron asked Mal, right before Scott and Courtney both slid into them.

"This is your chance, kiss her, do it, hurry!" Mal said quickly, shoving a shocked Cameron into Courtney's face, kissing her. Mal grinned evilly and rubbed his hands together.

"Rgggh!" Scott stood up in anger.

"Sorry!" Cameron said, before correcting himself. "Uh, I mean, woah, why'd you kiss me?" He said quickly.

"Real smooth." Noah rolled his eyes.

Confessional:

"That was actually my first kiss." Cameron confessed, twiddling his thumbs.

"Big shocker, I'd figured you'd have had dozens of girls lined up just to kiss you!" Heather said sarcastically.

"But Candy's been in a bubble his whole life, how could he get dozens of girls?" Lindsay scratched her head, Heather facepalming.

"It feels like pressing your face against meat." Cameron smiled. "But nice!" He said the last part softly.

"Rrrgh!" Scott growled, before he realized what had just happened. "You kissed him?" He asked Courtney angrily. "WHY?" He yelled the last part.

"I-what-are you-?" Courtney said indignantly, coming out in fragments instead of a solid sentence.

"Of all the-" Scott threw up his hands.

"We fell-" Courtney continued.

"You're so-" Scott said.

"Just listen-" Courtney said. "-to me for-"

"I can't believe I-" Scott folded his arms.

"Run!" Mal whispered to Cameron as they dashed off.

"And the award for worlds most dysfunctional couple passes from Jo and Brick to these two." Noah said, somehow knowing that Jo would toss a yo-yo at him, as he ducked immediately.

"I can't believe I ever liked the eyes inside your face!" Scott said, both of them not noticing Ezekiel's shadow falling over the two.

"So now you don't?" Courtney looked indignant.

"No!" Scott snapped at her. "I don't think I-"

"RRARGH!" Ezekiel roared at them, the camera giving a way too close close-up to his face, which was an inhuman mottled green, his pupils now feline slits. Scott and Courtney both screamed and embraced each other as he lunged at them.

"No!" Justin sobbed. "He has Courtney in his awful inhuman clutches!"

"...Yeah, I don't think he counts as a human anymore." Noah shivered, agreeing.

"I was actually referring to Scott, but I guess Zeke has caught them too." Justin amended his statement before returning to his over-dramatic sobbing.

The camera cut back to the library once more, where Chef was intently watching the screens as he shoveled mint chocolate ice cream into his mouth from a giant tub he was holding in his hands. "What?" Chef looked down at the intern defensively. "I eat when I'm stressed!" He shoveled another giant scoop into his mouth. "Zoom in on the rope holding Chris!" He commanded the intern, who did so, the zooming in showing that the two rats Zeke had let loose onto Chris were now chewing slowly through the rope holding him up. He gasped, before looking down at his tub. "We're going to need more ice cream." He said.

"Thank goodness you guys are ok!" Zoey smiled as Scott and Courtney both woke up in the cage, rubbing their heads.

"Know what's not ok?" Scott asked rhetorically. "That you kissed Cameron!" He huffed and looked extremely hurt. "And on our two hour anniversary!" He whined. "That's just cold." He turned away from hur.

"...He was actually keeping track that whole time?" Geoff gaped.

"He's stupid enough to buy that Courtney would kiss Cameron," Leshawna said, confused. "But apparently he's good with time?"

"Well it was dark, and from his angle it probably looked a lot like she kissed him." Harold suggested. "It probably was dark enough that no one could tell what happened."

"Well then, how is he keeping the time underground? He ain't even got a watch!" Anne Maria jumped into the conversation.

"...I have no idea." Harold admitted.

"I'm telling you, he kissed me!" Courtney insisted.

"That's not what I saw!" Scott stood up.

"Well if you don't believe me, I don't want your dumb shoelace ring!" Courtney tossed said ring into his hands.

"Good, cause having one loose sneaker was making me CRAZY!" Scott stomped angrily, the camera cutting to Zoey huddling in the corner, arms around her knees and in the fetal position.

"Awww, poor Zoey..." Beth said sadly.

Confessional:

"The sad thing is, this isn't the worst party I've ever been to." Zoey said, annoyed.

"What?" Geoff looked shocked. "Dude, what kind of parties has she been to?"

"...I do not believe you actually want to know." Dawn said, apparently holding in the answer.

"Good, you're learning what rhetorical questions are." Noah said sarcastically. "Tomorrow we'll work up to keeping others secrets to yourself, and if we're really lucky-" He faked a happy grin. "-The day after that we'll teach you to speak clearly and say what you mean instead of giving cryptic riddles! Won't that be fun!" He had a fake 'happy camper' tone to his voice as he said that, doing jazz hands.

"...I don't appreciate you talking down to me like that, Noah." Dawn frowned.

"Sorry, sorry." Noah said, clearly not. "But you do realize that instead of saying things like 'A great darkness surrounds Dakota, if she stays on the island, disaster will befall her'," He said the last part spookily. "You could actually tell us what you mean, like 'Dakota will be mutated into a ten foot tall orange monster if she stays on the island', which would have actually prevented the 'great disaster'." He narrowed his eyes.

"Uh, Noah?" Cody said. "I get that you're right and all, but you could stand to be a little nicer, you know."

"I'm just being practical." Noah said defensively.

"He's right!" Jo jumped in to the conversation, equally annoyed at Dawn. "She knows everything that's going to happen to us-"

"I don't know everything, Jo-" Dawn began, looking sad.

"Save it." Jo snapped. "You've been right about every elimination so far, even that Sam would get caught cheating, you knew that Duncan would go to jail-"

"I knew he would make a bad choice, not-" Dawn tried to defend herself, but was cut off.

"You knew about Mal, you knew Alejandro was the robot, you knew Heather was faking being under the moon spell," Jo listed off on her fingers, interrupting her. "You knew Chris wanted to switch Mike over to the villains side and not Cameron, you knew Mal would break Izzy's jaw and that Owen would break the door, and that's only the stuff that has happened!" She finished.

"...When you put it like that, she has known pretty much everything that's happened so far." Bridgette said, hand on her chin.

"So don't tell me 'I can't tell you the future, it'll mess with your futures, blah blah aura blah blah darkness blah blah sewing needle.'." Jo said, pulling the needle out of her pocket. "Either you tell me why you gave me this or I throw it away!" She brandished it at the little pixie girl.

"Jo, I can't!" Dawn suddenly broke out into tears. "I know I've been telling you too much, I know you think I know everything, but I don't!" She sobbed. "I'm not allowed to tell you!"

"Who says you can't?" Jo challenged her, ignoring her tears. "Who declared from on their lofty throne that you can't tell me what a fucking sewing needle means?"

"I-I don't know!" Dawn cried. "I don't know why I can't tell you, but I can't! It's the rules!"

"Who made the rules?" Jo shouted.

"I said I don't know!" Dawn said, still sniffling.

"If you don't know who made them, why the hell do you follow them?" Jo snapped at her.

"Hey, lay off her!" Trent suddenly stood up and walked over to Dawn. "If she doesn't want to tell you, she doesn't have to!"

"She sure as hell doesn't, but apparently she wants to!" Jo glared at him. "She gave me this stupid thing," She held out the sewing needle. "And then she tells me it's 'essential to my survival'! If it's so fucking essential, why can't you tell me what to do with it? Am I supposed to knit some stupid life saving sweater, or make crochet that'll keep me alive? You can't just give me this and then not tell me what I'm supposed to goddamn do with it!"

"Jo, stop it!" Brick stood up to her and pushed her away from Dawn. "You're making her cry!"

"Well I'm sorry if I hurt her feelings by asking her to clarify!" Jo directed all of her anger onto him instead.

"She doesn't have to if she doesn't want to!" Brick shouted.

"Well then I'm not gonna listen to her!" Jo tossed the sewing needle to the ground. "I'm not gonna listen to the advice of someone who won't tell me what the advice means!"

"Jo, you have to take that with you, all of you do!" Dawn turned to Lindsay, Lightning and all the others who were voted off. "If you don't, I can't guarantee you'll survive the final episode!" She pleaded with them

"What?!" Bridgette suddenly stood up in shock. "Ok, now you have to tell us!"

"Chris is planning something awful-" Dawn began.

"He's always planning something awful, what's so different about this time?" Jo interrupted her.

"I...I'll tell you." Dawn sighed in defeat and took a deep breath in. "Chris is planning to trap every All Stars contestant into a balloon that will come untied and start floating away into the sun, and if you don't have the sewing needles to pop the balloons, you'll all float out into outer space and die and I can't tell you anything else!" She said extremely quickly, shocking everyone with how loud she shouted it.

"...WHAT?!" Bridgette screamed out in frustration, looking like she was going to explode at any second. "CHRIS IS DOING WHAT?" She asked again, astonished.

"Uh, she said Chris is-" Geoff began, but Bridgette shot him a glare that shut him up immediately.

"You're kidding me, you have to be!" Bridgette said indignantly, trying to keep her voice down.

"I am not." Dawn said sadly. "And that is why you must keep your sewing needles with you, ok?" She looked pleadingly at the former contestants, who nodded, even Heather and Jo, who seemed stunned into not arguing.

"Geoff, hand me your phone." Bridgette said icily, teeth clenched.

"But babe-" Geoff began.

"Geoff, hand me your phone!" Bridgette hissed loudly, and Geoff sheepishly handed her it. "Thanks so much, sweetie-pie!" She snapped out of her anger for a second to thank Geoff.

"Uh... you're welcome?..." Geoff looked scared, unsure of what to say.

"I'm going to go into another room for this call." Bridgette smiled falsely. "I don't think anyone wants to hear the words I have for the producers." She narrowed her eyes.

"Uh, the door's broken..." Geoff looked over at the dented door lodged sideways in the frame. "I don't think anyone can get out."

"Oh, just watch me." Bridgette smirked, before simply sliding under the doorframe and coming out the other side. "See you when the show's over!" She grinned and waved goodbye.

"...What is with all the people leaving all of the sudden?" Trent asked, still sitting next to where Dawn was.

"My question is, how did that escalate from 'Dawn should be more clear' to 'Let's all make Dawn cry'?" Noah asked. "Seriously, I was just saying that she needed to be clearer."

"Wait, they're going to put us in balloons?" Jo suddenly caught up to the present. "Oh hell no, I am not getting stuffed into anything!"

"I ain't sure you got a choice," Anne Maria replied. "She sounds pretty sure that it's gonna be happening."

"Well I'm not letting that happen!" Jo snapped. "Dawn, you're just going to have to deal with being wrong for once."

"I would be pleasantly surprised if that is the case." Dawn smiled. "I guess we'll find out if you can fight fate." She looked sadly resigned more than she looked hopeful.

The camera switched to Cameron and Mal gasping and panting as they ran away from Scott and Courtney, before a sudden rumbling caused them to stop. "Woah!" Cameron screamed as the ground under him collapsed, falling down before grabbing onto a loose root, the only thing keeping him from plummeting to his death. "Mike, help!" He screamed.

"Oh no!" Sierra looked terrified. "Camdy!"

"She's right here with me and yet she can't stop calling him that?" Cody whispered to Noah nervously.

"She's crazy, just accept it and move on, it's how I deal with crazy people." Noah whispered back, pointing at Izzy, who had pulled out a racing flag with Zeke's face on it, waving it around and whooping.

"Lightning says let the nerd fall!" Lightning crossed his arms, annoyed. "He cost Pops his rings!"

"No, your dad just bet them like an idiot." Jo countered.

"My Pop's ain't no idiot!" Lightning said indignantly.

"Sure, sure, whatever." Jo suddenly stopped, apparently done fighting with Lightning.

"Sure you'd say that, Joe-Wait, sha-what?" Lightning gaped, expecting Jo to have retorted wittily.

"I don't care anymore." Jo said, annoyed. "I've got better things to do with my time than argue with a meathead. Like making sure I don't end up in a bubble!" She looked like she was going to pummel someone.

"Hang tight and I'll go get something to lower down to you!" Mal called down to him. "I'll be right back!" He lied.

"Hurry!" Cameron whimpered as Mal brushed his hands of and began whistling that eerie tune again, grinning evilly.

Confessional:

"Gravity times 'nerd arms'," Mal airquoted that part, sitting in the confessional with his normal hairdo and reverberating voice. "Equals five minutes max before he falls." He laughed maliciously at the thought of Cameron falling.

"He-he's seriously going to leave him to die?" Beth asked, shocked.

"Yep." Eva's eyes were wide as even she looked stunned at the display of sociopathy.

Cameron gasped as his grip on the root slipped and he fell off it slightly, hanging by the very tip. "Miike?!" He called out, terrified.

"Require assistance?" Alejandro's voice was suddenly heard as Cameron looked up to see Alejandro smiling down the pit he was trapped in.

"Alejandro!" Cameron said, surprised.

"He's actually going to save him?" Heather said. "It takes an entire song for him to get convinced to rescue me from getting trapped under a rock and now he's just offering up assistance to Shrimpling over here?" She huffed, clearly jealous.

"What are you- what did you do to Mike?" Cameron asked accusingly, assuming Alejandro was the reason Mal had not come back for him.

"Grab hold little one." Alejandro put one hand down to help Cameron up.

"No!" Cameron refused, covering his face with his free hand. "I only trust Zoey and Mike!" He glared up at Alejandro. "I don't want help from anyone else!"

"Accept his help, doofus!" Jo groaned. "Even if he's your enemy, he's still your only ticket out of notfalling to your death!" She stressed the last part.

"Camdy's in trouble!" Sierra looked frightened.

"...Yeah, that was pretty obvious." Noah rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, well... your face!" Sierra countered awkwardly.

"Ooh, nice comeback." Noah said mockingly, Sierra blowing a raspberry at him.

"What if I told you your trust was gravely misplaced?" Alejandro smirked.

"I wouldn't believe you!" Cameron yelled up to him, angry.

"Of course no one believes you!" Heather snapped. "You're a sneak little lying-" Heather was interrupted by a yo-yo to her face. "WOULD YOU STOP THAT!" She shrieked at Jo.

"Stop talking and I will." Jo said, annoyed.

"Then I wish you a soft landing." Alejandro bid him farewell and walked away.

"Guess your boyfriend's a lot more evil than you thought, huh?" Leshawna smirked at Heather, earning her a glare and a huff.

"He will fall." Alejandro said to himself as he walked away. "And his landing will not be soft-GYAGH!" From above him, the telltale heavy breathing of Zeke could be heard, grabbing him by his hair and dragging him up, capturing him.

"Alejandro!" Heather cried out, scared, before looking around as everyone was giving her knowing looks. "I mean-I don't care, not at all!" She stammered.

"Give it up already." Jo rolled her eyes. "Everyone knows you two love each other."

"I'll give it up when you give up pretending you don't like Brickhouse over there!" Heather pointed at Brick, who snapped out of his one-sided conversation with B and blushed.

"What?" Brick looked startled by the calling of his name.

"Hey, no one calls him Brickhouse but me!" Jo growled.

"What, is it your pet name for him or something?" Heather smirked.

"Shut up!"Jo blushed heavily at that statement.

"What's going on?" Brick asked, still confused. B shrugged and looked just as confused as Brick did.

"Would everyone just stop arguing?" Tyler asked, exasperated. "None of this dumb junk is gonna help anyone!"

"Dude, he's right." Geoff agreed. "Can we all just get along and watch the rest of the show?"

"...Didn't Hanna have a pedicure appointment?" Lindsay suddenly blurted out.

"Crap!" Heather stopped in her tracks, no longer looking at Jo, but at the clock. "I missed my pedicure!" She screeched. "I missed my pedicure because of you dweebs!" She shouted at everyone.

"Actually-" Harold began to correct her, but Leshawna quickly shushed him to keep Heather from killing him.

"I hate-I-Ugh!" Heather finally let out a groan and just gave up, sitting down.

The camera cut to a pile of empty ice cream tubs, the intern that had been fixing the electronics popping out from under it, looking up at an angry Chef. "We're out of ice cream." He stated simply, the tubs covering the floor. "Total Drama will NOT end on episode 100!" He suddenly pulled out a bazooka, loading it up, walking off and leaving the intern shrugging.

"Whoohoo!" Izzy grinned. "Meatball cannons for the win!" She laughed.

"This is so exciting!" Sierra squealed. "Chef's gonna rescue Chris all on his own!" She grinned.

"Took him long enough." Eva grumbled.

The scene switched to Alejandro locked into the cage with the rest of the captured contestants. "Is this supposed to be a party?" Alejandro asked nervously. "Agh!" He screamed as he was covered in a mysterious brown substance, as were Scott and Courtney.

"Oh, that better not be what I think it is." Leshawna looked close to throwing up.

"Please tell me this is fudge.." Zoey whimpered as she was covered in the sludge.

Scott took the chance and licked his arm nervously. "Yep, it's fudge." He looked confused.

"...Ewww..." Lindsay shuddered. "Fudge is sticky and gross!"

"I'm just grossed out that he took a chance and licked it." Cody said, creeped out.

"Ew... thank goodness!" Courtney said, relieved if a bit disgusted. The camera panned over to where Zeke was standing, over by the 100th episode party table, tossing fudge from the refreshments. Everyone screamed as he threw more fudge at them (well, Scott said 'yum', but he doesn't count) and Zoey looked traumatized as the fudge splattered all over her.

"Oh, I hope Mike and Cam are having better luck." Zoey said nervously.

"Mike?" The camera cut back to Cameron slowly slipping off of the root. "Mike? Hurry!" He called out desperately, right before the root fell out and he plummeted.

"Camdy!" Sierra shrieked and pulled out her emergency paper bag. "Camdy-falling-Camdy-falling-Camdy-AGH!" She stuttered as she breathed in and out, before screaming and passing out of fright.

"Is someone going to wake her up or should we just leave her?" Noah asked.

"Leave her!" Cody nodded extremely quickly.

"Forget Chris, find a way out..." The scene switched to a twitching Gwen, walking along next to the river, presumably trying to follow it to the surface. "Forget Chris, find a way out." She repeated, right before Cameron fell down into the water, splashing her in the face. "Cameron?" She asked, shocked, pulling him out of the water. Cameron got up and rubbed his head, only to collapse onto his hands and knees and vomit out all the water that he had swallowed.

"Gwen?" Cameron turned to his savior happily. "You-you saved me!" He smiled.

"Well, yeah, why wouldn't I?" Gwen looked confused, right before Cameron launched at her in a hug, confusing her even more.

"I'm sorry I was so cold to you before!" He apologized, holding her in a tight hug. "Mike had me going, but from here on in, I trust you completely!" He snuggled her and smiled.

"Looks like Cameron might have a crush on Gwen..." Noah looked surprised. "Huh, didn't see that coming."

"...Great, more competition." Cody mumbled angrily.

"Don't give up, tiger." Noah said sarcastically. "Maybe you'll get your chance after Gwen's dated every single TD guy, you know, after she's gone down the list."

"...I hate you." Cody said, punching Noah softly.

"So, uh, want to find a way out of here, or stop hugging or something?" Gwen asked nervously, clearly uncomfortable.

"Come on, let's find Chris together!" Cameron got up, running in the same direction Gwen had came from.

"Yeah... Great." Gwen said nervously.

The camera shifted to a shot of the pit that Cameron had fallen down, light shining down on it from an unknown source. Mal's grunts could be heard as he was lugging something heavy off camera. "Cam, buddy, you still there?" Mal asked, faking a concerned voice that contrasted with his malicious grin and the giant boulder he was carrying over his head. "You won't be for long!" He grinned as he prepared to crush Cameron to death with the boulder.

"He-he was going to kill him?" Cody looked terrified. "I mean, he left him to die, but-he was going to kill him?"

"And not just kill him, crush him with a rock." Noah added, also scared. "One of the more painful and terrifying ways to die."

"...I may have underestimated Mal's ruthlessness." Jo said, stunned.

"He's not some cunning devious trickster trying to win the million, Jo." Dawn seemed to have calmed down from her crying fit. "He doesn't want the money... Or at least, that's not why he's doing this. He just wants to hurt everyone around him."

"...What is his deal, anyway?" Jo asked. "The rest of Pointy's personalities are all annoying, sure, but they're either helpful or harmless. What makes Mal different from them?"

"I already said that I'm not going to tell you anything more about Mike's personal life." Dawn said, meditating. "If he wants to tell you, he will. It's his business and his alone."

"You frustrate me, you know that?" Jo said, folding her arms.

"I am aware of that, yes." Dawn said, face expressionless.

Mal looked down at the empty pit and looked mildly disappointed, tossing the boulder down. "Well, that's one problem down." He said, bored. He was about to leave when out of the pit's darkness, Ezekiel jumped him. The camera had a hard cut to Mal inside the prison, rubbing his head.

"Mike, are you ok?" Zoey walked over to her boyfriend, leaning down to help him up.

"I guess it's all up to Gwen and Cameron now." Courtney said, standing next to Scott and staring at him, both nervous.

"Just Gwen, I suspect." Alejandro suddenly spoke up from his side of the cage. "The last time I saw Cameron will likely be 'the last time' I saw Cameron." He said with finality on the last words.

"What did you do to him?" Zoey asked, scared and angry.

"Nothing!" Alejandro said defensively. "I tried to help but he would not accept!"

"Oh, so you just left him hanging there?" Mal got up, rolling his eyes as he faked an indignant expression. "Not cool!" He waved.

"...He never said he was hanging." Heather looked annoyed.

Confessional:

"Interesting..." Alejandro had his finger on his chin in thought. "I never mentioned that Cameron was 'hanging'." He looked pointedly at the camera.

"Looks like there's an echo in here." Jo smirked.

The scene switched to the rats that were eating through Chris's ropes, before panning down to where Chris was. "Yo, little rodents!" Chris looked up at the rats nervously. "Uh, let's make a deal here!" He asked. "I know a cheese artisan!" He pleaded. "Surely we could work something out!?" He asked, just as one of the ropes threads snapped, stopping him inches from the acidic waste below. The rats looked down at him for a second before chewing at the final strand. "Ok, getting scaredy! Heeelp!" He called out in fright.

"It took him this long to admit he was scared?" Eva asked.

"...How come Zeke didn't just toss him in the waste while Chris was in the bag?" Harold suddenly asked. "That would have been the sensible thing to do, gosh. Lowering him slowly into a pit gives him time to escape."

"Well maybe he just wanted to scare Chris?" Staci suggested. "Like, yah, he wants Chris to be awake so he could watch him scream?" She got a lot of odd looks for that. "I'm just saying that's maybe what he was thinking, sorry." She twiddled her thumbs nervously.

Cameron and Gwen were both walking along the cavernous path, before Cameron stopped her. "Look, streamers!" He pointed to the several colorful streamers hanging from the roof of the cave. "From the party Chris was planning.

"Heeeelp!" Chris's cries of help were heard off camera.

"It came from down here!" Cameron pointed down the path.

"Which is why we should go the other way!" Gwen pointed in the other direction, voice cracking nervously.

"She's got a point." Trent said.

"RRRGH!" Chef suddenly ran past the two, carrying his meatball cannon.

"I said; HEEEELLLLP!" Chris screamed again, the camera panning over to Chef, who skidded to a halt inside the chamber.

"Meatball cannon!" Izzy screamed happily. "Whooohooo!"

"He hasn't even used it..." Owen said, scratching his head.

"Yeah, but it's a cannon that shoots meatballs! He doesn't have to use it, it's already awesome!" Izzy grinned, using her fingers as imaginary guns.

"Chris!" Chef shouted, voice breaking with emotion.

"Whoohoo!" Everyone cheered, Chef pushing the rats off the rope.

"What took you so long?" Chris asked Chef indignantly.

"He saves your life, and that's the first thing you have to say to him?" Eva snorted. "Chris is an ungrateful bastard."

"And why do you smell like mint chocolate ice cream?" Chris sniffed at Chef, who looked sheepish. They suddenly screamed as Zeke had gotten a hold of the meatball cannon Chef had dropped. Zeke quickly fired at Chef and coated the man in the meatballs.

"WHOOHOOO, GO ZEKE!" Izzy pulled a kazoo out of her bra and started playing a victory tune.

"Izzy, this is not the time to be rooting for the villain!" Noah looked exasperated.

"Ugh..." Sierra shook her head, waking up from her brief fainting spell. "Oh my gosh did I miss anything?" She looked terrified. "Oh no, I missed like five minutes of the show, this is awful! I can't not know what happened!"

"Cameron fell, Mal tried to kill him, Mal got captured, Gwen found Cameron, Cameron and Gwen found Chris, Chef saved Chris and Zeke meatballed Chris." Geoff summed up the events of the past minutes. "It's been weird." He admitted.

"Zeke, Zeke, let's talk about this!" Chris pleaded with the green maniac. Ezekiel dropped the meatball cannon and began running on all fours to attack Chris.

"I'll distract Zeke, you get Chris!" Cameron said, he and Gwen hiding behind Zeke's former throne. "You saved my life, I owe you this!" He ran off, determined.

"This cannot possibly end well." Noah said.

"Yoohoo, lookie lookie!" Cameron called out loudly to Ezekiel. "I'm a big distraction!" He yelled. Ezekiel stopped in his tracks and began vomiting out acidic goop to try and hit him. "Haha, you missed!" He grinned.

"...He has acidic projectile vomit now." Noah deadpanned. "Great."

"Actually, he kind of did that to escape last time, yah, in the pool cage?" Staci said nervously, correcting him.

"Uh-oh..." Cameron said as the vomit hit its intended target; the ceiling. He screamed as rocks tumbled down onto him.

"Camdy!" Sierra cried out in fear again, but didn't faint.

Ezekiel hissed triumphantly, before the sound of a cannon reloading was heard. "This is for Cameron!" Gwen said, having picked up the meatball gun, firing it and sticking Zeke to his 'throne' leaving him screaming and gargling in anger.

"Whoohooo!" Everyone who was trapped cheered out.

"Wo-oowww..." Chris was thrown to the ground, still tied up. "Could have been a little more gentle!" He growled angrily.

"Cameron!" Gwen completely ignored Chris and ran up to her friend, pulling rocks from the pile crushing him. "Cameron!" She repeated, pulling Cameron's battered unconscious body from the wreckage.

"Come on, we gotta get out of here before Zeke-HUH!" Chris had apparently untied himself, he was prepared to run when they all gasped and looked at Zeke's throne, the creature/former human disappeared like usual.

"What did you expect?" Anne Maria groaned. "That freako's like the human cockroach or whatever!"

Confessional:

Chris was seated calmly on the confessional seat, smiling in false serenity. "For the record, I would like to state that, I, Chris Mclean, am not afraid of that sad misunderstood freakshow named Ezekiel." He pointed outside.

"Pfft!" Jo snickered. "He was probably wetting his pants the whole time!"

"Sure, it looked like I was scared," Chris shrugged. "But I was faking!" He pointed at himself, grinning.

"...You know, I don't even have to say anything anymore." Noah said. "This just speaks for itself."

"I'd say that dramatic performance is worth at least 5 Gemmies!" Chris held out his hand, smiling until he heard something hiss and gurgle and groan outside the confessional walls, gripping his face in fear as he heard Ezekiel outside. "HEEEELP!" He screamed, running outside the confessional.

"Hehehehe..." Mal giggled maliciously, having been making the noises to frighten Chris.

"Ok, he's good." Jo smirked.

The camera faded out and then faded back in to nighttime, the normal campfire ceremony starting (minus Cameron). "Gwen wins our never to be repeated, or spoken of again, challenge!" Chris announced. "She saved all of us!" He grinned, before placing his hand on his chest. "But more importantly, she saved me!" He smirked.

"Dick." Eva grumbled.

"So, I'll honor the deal Chef made." Chris motioned over to his 'friend', who had his arm bandaged and in a sling. "The spa hotel is yours, Gwen."

"Woohoo!" Cody grinned. "Finally she gets a break!"

"Now, who's headed for exile on Boney Island?" Chris asked her.

"Alejandro!" Gwen said, without a doubt in her mind.

"Huh..." Alejandro looked shocked, before slumping over and sighing in defeat. "First my boot, now this?" He asked no one in particular.

"As for who goes home, no vote is required!" Chris explained.

"...Cameron's in the infirmary, isn't he?" Cody turned to Dawn, who nodded.

"Broken arm in several places and bruised and sprained everything else." Dawn said. "He's currently in his bubble because his mother required it."

"His mother's here?" Cody asked.

"No, when she signed Cameron up for the show, she said if he had to be sent home for injuries, they'd put him in his bubble." Dawn explained. "Honestly, it is more for emotional protection than any actual necessity." She shrugged.

"Cameron is too injured to continue!" Chris explained as Chef rolled up Cameron, who was in a full body cast and inside his bubble.

"Dude, that looks like a lot more than a broken arm!" Geoff gaped.

"They don't have the proper facilities to set his fractures, so it was probably easier just to full body cast him." Staci said. "It also makes for better TV if it looks like he's half dead, yah."

"So, as rules in my cruel street dictate," Chris continued. "He must be flushed!"

Zoey walked up to Cameron sadly and rubbed her arms around his bubble. "I'll miss you, Cam." She said, trying to hug him through the bubble.

"Miss you too..." Cameron said, the bandages muffling his words.

"You get better, ok?" Gwen asked him, smiling encouragingly.

"Thanks Gwen!" Cameron mumbled. "Hi, Mike!" He added as Mal walked up to the bubble and placed his arms around him.

"Oh, Mike's gone," Mal whispered into Cameron's bubble so only he could hear. "I'm Mal. And I let you fall!" He admitted. "So long, sucker!" He laughed as Cameron began screaming in terror, still screaming when they popped his bubble and flushed him down the toilet.

"Yeah, not how I wanted to celebrate the 100th episode of Total Drama." Chris grinned at the camera. "But, at least no one got hurt!" He paused. "Well, Cameron did, but not me!" He grinned and pointed at himself. "And that's what's important, here on Total Drama All Stars!" He announced.

"...Ok, how are we going to get out of here?" Heather asked, staring at the broken door.

"We can just slide under like Bridgette did!" Geoff grinned, earning a glare from Heather.

"That's not what I meant!" Heather snapped. "I mean how do I get off this island? I'm not getting trapped in a bubble." She stated. "I'm going to pack my bags and leave this crappy hotel right now!"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, and I'm almost certain I never will again, but I agree with Heather." Jo said, before pausing. "Wow, still sounds weird when I say it." She chuckled. "I'm leaving before any of Dawn's crazy predictions come true." She slid under the doorframe. "See you soon, Brickhouse!" She waved goodbye to Brick and ran off.

"...Good luck with that." Dawn smiled wistfully. "I believe there was something you wanted to ask me, Trent?" She turned to him and smiled.

"Uh, yeah." Trent laughed nervously. "Maybe, when all of this crazy Total Drama stuff is over, we could hang out?" He asked, twiddling his thumbs. "You know, after everyone's safe and not in mortal peril."

"I would love to!" Dawn giggled lightly. "A break from seeing the eventual demise of everyone I know and love would be nice." She looked sad for a moment.

"We'll work on keeping your predictions to yourself." Trent laughed awkwardly as they both smiled at each other.

"...Someone's gotta get that door fixed!" Izzy pouted. "Big O' won't be able to get out!" She suddenly got a crazy look in her eye that made Noah duck under the doorframe and run away, dragging Cody with him, knowing what was coming. "Explosivo can fix this!" She grinned and suddenly grabbed B and pulled something out of his pocket. "Explosivo will borrow this bomb for great justice!" She cackled as she pulled the string on his odd mechanical device. Everyone held their breath for a tense five seconds, prepared for Izzy's usual explosive attitude, but nothing happened. "Where's the kaboom?" Izzy asked after nothing happened. "There was supposed to be a door shattering kaboom!" She pouted.

"..." B frowned at her and grabbed the mechanical device out of her hands, putting it back in his pocket. He rummaged around in his jacket for a second, before gasping and pulling out a carjack.

"That looks like it would work a lot better." Beth sighed in relief as B used the carjack to lift the door. He pulled another tool out of his pocket, and after the dust cleared, the door was fixed.

"...How'd you do that, dude?" Geoff asked in awe.

"..." B shrugged and walked out the door silently.

"Wait up, B, I want to talk, yah!" Staci suddenly chased after him.

"...I miss when Total Drama was just a reality show and not a deathtrap." Leshawna groaned. "Come on, Sugar," She grabbed Harold. "We're getting out of here." She pushed open the door.

"Do you mean that like Heather meant it, or just leaving this room?" Harold asked.

"It doesn't matter." Leshawna said flatly, as they both left.

AN; Oh. My. God. (Becky, look at her butt). This is my longest chapter yet (18,0038 words) and it SHOWS. I guess everything is just blowing up in their faces... This is kind of the turning point in the story, if you can't tell. Dawn's finally revealed to them Chris's master plan, and everything is snowballing. It's only going to get crazier and more desperate from here on out, as everyone scrambles to stop Chris (and unfortunately, we all know how it'll turn out.). Now for our questions, in order; Will Sierra and Noah ever stop fighting over Cody like he's not even there? (not likely) Will Sierra's mom ever get that photo of Chris uncensored from her daughter? Is Izzy psychic or is she just really good at guessing? Will Jo ever go on a date with Brick now that she accidentally admitted she might want to? What exactly do Izzy and Owen do on their dates, and how many international laws does it break? Will Cameron be in any condition to watch the episode tomorrow? Will Justin sob himself to sleep over Scourtney, even though they broke up? Will Justin ask her out when she arrives at the playa? Will everyone stop arguing every five seconds and actually do something useful? (...BWAHAHAHAH...No.) And did any of you expect Dakota to freak out? She was horribly traumatized by the mines, so it makes sense. Does giving up Minecraft for Dakota make Sam the best boyfriend in the history of ever? (Yes) Why does that door keep getting broken? Did Cody finally break through to Sierra and will she finally realize that Cody won't ever like her back that way? If she does realize that, will she focus her attractions onto Cameron instead? Will Trent and Dawn EVER get to date? And the important bits; Now that Dawn has cracked under the pressure and blown the cover on Chris's evil plan, will this stop him? (We know the answer) Will Heather and Jo find a way off the island? Do they even have a plan? (No) Is Bridgette going to snap from the stress and start a murder spree? (probably not) What was that odd thing that B had in his pocket? Will Bridgette force the producers to change the final challenge, and more importantly, is that why the lawyers made Chris change it? (Well, either way he still does it...) Will Owen play pawn to the nefarious schemes? (unfortunately) FIND OUT NEXT TIME, ON THE PEANUT GALLERY!... Also, a lot of things are going on in my life and I can't be sure when the next one will come out. I'm not even sure it will affect me enough to stop me from writing, or even if it will help me write faster, but things are happening... maybe... It's complicated. Either way, see you next time (if I haven't been killed by an angry mob for all the twists in this)