This is rough if there are errors please tell me so I can fix them. You learn about Ana's demons Trigger Warning for Self-Harm
Ana's POV:
It is now Monday and nothing not even a goodbye text I guess Christian Grey always has to be in control. I am just about to leave work when Jack Hyde comes out of his office and asks if we could have dinner tonight to discuss the manuscript I have nothing better to do since Kate and Elliot are hot and heavy.
"Give me a time and a place an I'll be there." I smile politely
"Cafe Campagne at 7:30"
"Alright sounds great."I jump in my car and head home stopping on the way for some rum and groceries. Since Kate's parents pay for the apartment I buy us food it's the least I could do she does so much for me. By the time I get home its 6:30 and I don't have time to shower oh well... I sigh since I was hoping it would help clear my head but I can't be late for the boss.
I decide since we will be discussing business to wear my ASOS Tailored Bengaline Tab Front Pencil Skirt and Contrast Blouse and top it off with my black suede pumps. I keep my make up simple fix some curls and head out the door. The restaurant is ten minute walk from my house so I leave at 7:15.
The restaurant is small but busy this is going to be a challenge since crowded areas make me super anxious there is a nice bar where you can eat but the waiter shows me to a table in the back corner of the restaurant. I can't help but think if Christian and I were dinning here he would pick the same seat. A waitress comes over with a selection of French cheeses and says 'Your date called to say he will be a few minutes late and asked me to give this to you' I decide not to comment on the fact that he's my boss not my date.
'Thank you could I also have a glass of the Pinot Noir' I nod but I can't help but feel a little annoyed I didn't want to be here in the first place.
'Yes of course.' I'm glad I walked because something tells me I'm going to drink a lot tonight. Just as she's bringing my wine I notice jack walk in and he is looks good he dress very casual simple jeans, dress shirt and a blazer I've never really noticed but he is a very handsome man.
I stand to great him with a handshake and I am taken back when he brings be in for a hug. I am starting to question his intentions for tonight. "You look lovely Anastasia."
"Thank you." I smile and blush.
He hails down the waitress and asks her to bring a bottle of the wine I'm drinking. We both take a look at our menu's and I've decided to get the steak and frites I've heard excellent things about the food here. I glance over at Jack and he has this look that reminds me of Christian when he's in his Dom mode could he be? I quickly brush off that thought he has a wife and a kid.
We make some small talk after we've decided what we want to eat and the waitress comes back with the wine and takes our orders.
"I'll have the steak an frites please." I smile and hand he my menu.
"How would you like your steak cooked?"
"Medium rare please."
"And for you sir" Jack eyes light up when she says that odd hmm... maybe he is a Dom "I'll have the same thing." And with that she's off.
"So Ana what makes you think this would be the next best thing?"
"Well personally I think it's because it shows a secret battle with yourself. You would be surprised how many people suffer from a mental illness although schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder all mental illnesses cause internal battle with in a person. I know from personal experience I've actually written a book or two on mental illness." Wow I didn't mean to let all that out. He takes a long sip of his wine before speaking.
"Well it's always good when publishing a book to have an understanding of what it's about. I think knowing that your help on this project could be very beneficial. I would love to review your writing if its good maybe we could publish that along with hers and review some past manuscripts to see if there are any long these lines and publish them to mental illness." I can't help but smile at the thought Anastasia Steele published author.
"I think that would be a great idea Jack. Mental illness is a serious subject and many people don't understand it."
"Great I'm glad you're on board." He smiles at me and our waitress brings our food. As I am enjoying me first bite of steak which is delicious Jack says "Oh my god is that Christian Grey?" I almost choke when I look over at Christian with a brunette entering the restaurant. Once I finish coughing I drink some water and Jack ask if I'm aright.
"Yeah I'm fine it's just weird seeing The Christian Grey eating where I am." I lie he doesn't need to be involved in my fucked up personal life anymore.
"Well he has to eat sometime." I laugh it off while trying to fight off my tears. I guess I have my answer he has someone new, I can't help but wonder if she's a girlfriend or a submissive. After five minutes of silence, forcing down my food, and hearing my subconscious snicker I told you he was bad news I can't hold back the tears I have to get out of here. "Jack I'm sorry but I need to go here's my half of the bill I will see you at work tomorrow." I throw the money down on the table and run out of the restaurant. He didn't even notice me well I guess that's for the best anyway. Once the air hits me the tears start streaming down my face. How could he do this to me Ana you walked out on him remember? She has a point.
When I enter the kitchen I see a note from Kate 'I'm spending the night at Elliot's drinks later this week? If you can get rid of that control freak. I miss you.' With that I lose it again I always promised myself I would never let a man make me cry yet here I am on the floor of my kitchen crying. Every emotion I've tried not to feel is coming out I grab the bottle of rum I bought earlier and I go into my room and grab the small box from under my bed. I promised myself I wouldn't do this again but then again I've mad that promise to myself time and time again.
I pull out the blade take a big gulp of the rum straight from the bottle put on Warrior by Demi Lovato. I put the blade against my skin I second guess myself but I do it anyways. I look down at my wrist and see six new cuts and I break apart again. I tried everything not to do this again. I got a new therapist I go to meetings I even spent the money I was saving for a new car to get my scars lazered off. They are still there but they are faint. What have I done? I clean the cuts quickly wrap up my arm and get in bed. I send an e-mail to Jack letting him know I won't be in tomorrow or today I guess and he responds right away.
From: Jack Hyde
Subject: Is everything alright?
Date: June, 27th, 2013
To: Anastasia Steele
Is everything alright? I'm worried about you. To shared something with me that makes me think somethings wrong. Although you won't be in tomorrow I would like you to send me the stuff you've written. I understand if you don't want me to see it you could always go to a different publishing house but I would love the opportunity.
Jack Hyde
Editor, SIP.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: I will be alright.
Date: June,27th,2013
To: Jack Hyde
Attachment: (It's A Constant Battle), (Living With Mental Illness)
Note the names can be changed. I hope you like them and I wouldn't dream of going somewhere else. I will be fine I would just prefer some space tomorrow thank you for understanding.
Anastasia Steele
Assistant to Jack Hyde, Editor, SIP
I decide what I need to do now is write. I grab the note pad beside my best that I use for poems and just start writing. An hour, three poems and a half a bottle of rum I fall asleep hoping to dream but I find myself in a nightmare.
I am back living with them skipping school so kids wouldn't see the bruises hiding so he couldn't hurt me but in the end he always found me. My mother was too drunk to care she just wanted alcohol no matter how many times I said 'mommy it hurts make it stop' she never came to rescue me. It wasn't until he beat and left me for dead that I moved back with Ray. He may not be my father but he is my dad. He helped me so much finding coping mechanisms other than self-harm. He is the reason I write, play guitar, draw and fight. He saved me.
When I wake up I can tell I've been trashing around fighting my nightmare I make a appointment with Flynn and a double appointment with Anderson I need to kick someones ass.
Taylor's POV:
Oh fuck! That was Ana leaving the restaurant and she was crying. What the fuck happened I guess she saw the boss with one of his old subs.
Jack's POV:
Yes my plan worked perfectly.
"Hello Elena"
"Jack how nice to hear from you did the plan work?" She purrs
"Yes it did thank you for the help with Christian. I can't help but feel bad she left crying"
"I don't give a shit about that mousey bitch all I care about is having Christian back in my control. Also Jack don't forget to say hi to your wife for me." I love my wife but there is something about Ana that's irresistible.
"I will goodbye."
Christian's out of the picture now I just need to make her mine.
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