Sorry It's been so long I couldn't post while I was in Italy and France. I hope you like the Chapter please review I love all of my followers.

Christian's POV:

I wake up in the early hours of the morning and Anastasia's hand is resting on my chest. I could never be touched before she came along she is a whole new therapy for me and I can't get enough. When she's around I feel like a new person. Like I'm not dead inside. Like I might actually have a heart. I care for her so much it hurts. Her words from last night are still haunting me. How could she do that to herself? It nearly killed me when she told me about her step-father. I decide to get out of bed carefully so I don't wake her it is Friday and she does have to work but it's only five am and she needs her rest. I go downstairs into my study and do a little research.

That's one thing I love about the internet anything you need to know is at your disposal. After doing about an hour of research I've learned that self-harm is actually a very common thing and people don't only cut themselves there are multiple techniques. People do it as a means to replace internal pain with eternal pain but it also releases endorphin's in your brain which makes it addicting.

I am just about to open my e-mail and see if Welch has found any information when I hear Ana screaming. I race back up the stairs two at a time and see Ana having a nightmare. I climb into bed and pull her in between my legs and try to soothe her. "Ana baby wake up, it's only a dream wake up." she stops thrashing and calms down. I see her eyes fly open she looks so scared and she's sweating. She jumps out of bed and runs into the washroom and starts retching into the toilet bowl. I follow her in and start to run a bath before going to her side. "I'm so sorry christian." she says while trying to stand up. She grabs her tooth-brush and starts to brush her teeth. "Why are you sorry? You've done nothing wrong."

She spits and rinse her mouth and starts to cry. "Shh shhh Ana. What was the dream about?" I ask as I sit down and pull her into my lap. I try to think 'what would Grace do?' sing that's what she would do since I never let her touch me she would sing until I fell back to sleep. I've just found a song to sing when she finally responds. "My step dad. I often have nightmares but since you came along they had stopped" She says in a quiet voice between sobs. She's like me in so many ways its scary.

"I'm so sorry Ana I wish I could make it all go away but I can't" That's the worst part of it all that I can't do anything to help. I am completely out of control.

"That's not your job Christian." She's stopped crying but her voice is still quiet.

"I know I just don't like seeing you like this." I say while pulling her in closer to me.

"Like what? The hysterical mess of a woman that I am?" She says defensively. How could she even think that way about herself? She has so much going for her I just wish she could see that.

"In pain" I correct her and she just sighs. "Lets get you in the bath shall we?" she just nods.

I pull off her clothes and help her into the bath before I climb in behind her. I grab the luffa and the body wash and squeeze a generous amount on to it. As I'm washing her back I notice a scar I've never seen before a couple actually. It's obvious she goes out of her way to cover these up with make-up. They aren't bumpy like my scars which means she must have treated them properly from the start but they are dark and from what I can see they are horizontal across her back they aren't full there are breaks in between. "Ana what are these from?"

I instantly feel her tense up at the mention of them. "Umm" I can hear the pain in her voice "When Steve beat me the last time it started with a canning."

"What? Oh my god Ana." I jump out of the bath dry myself off and throw on my pyjama bottoms.

Ana's POV:

I just explained the scars on my back to Christian I didn't want to tell him because I knew he would freak out but who was I fooling thinking I could hide them from him. He runs out of the room before I have the chance to get dried off I can hear him yelling at Taylor down the hall.

"Get rid of them all I don't care what you do with them but I never want to see them again" I can hear him crying. I throw on a rob and I see him running in and out of the playroom throwing things off the balcony.

"Christian" I say and he doesn't answer I can tell he's on the verge of a panic attack they are something I know well.

"CHRISTIAN." I scream and he stops dead in his tracks. He looks straight at my and stares. You can see the pain in his eyes this is a whole new side to Christian that I've never seen before. He's always so put together and confident but the man I see before me is broken, sad and out of control.

"I'm so sorry Anastasia." He slumps down onto the floor and really starts to cry. "I'm so sorry Ana. I'm just... Sorry."

"Christian Listen to me." I crawl into his lap. "Why are you sorry? Because I was abused? The last time I checked you didn't do this to me. You may have done stuff to your subs in the past but that is none of my business. I know you would never hurt me like that Christian. You have nothing to be sorry for. This happened a long time ago. You have helped me so much is the short time we've known each other."

He's stopped crying but he still hasn't said anything.

"I'm a monster"

"Christian! Have you eve hurt your past subs like this?" He shakes his head signalling no

"Have you ever hurt someone like this?"

"Of course not."

"So it sound to me like you never push your subs past what they wanted. Am I right?"

"Of course that's the point of a contract."

"So then how are you a monster?"

"I guess your right." I give him a quick peck on the lips before I help him onto his feet.

"How about you shower and I go downstairs and make us some breakfast?" His eyes light up and he gives me a shy smile.

"I would love that." I follow him into the bed room and throw on a pair of pyjama shorts and my star wars tee-shirt. I look into the kitchen to see what I can use to make breakfast and of course he has everything. I decide to make the orange pancakes and raspberry syrup that Kate absolutely loves.

I walk over to the iPod dock and press play the first song that comes on is Listen from Dream Girls. I start belting it out and dancing around the kitchen while I mix the pancake batter and let it start while I start the syrup I've made this so many times I can make them in fifteen minutes flat. As I'm about to start cooking the pancakes when My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas starts playing my dad and I would dance around the kitchen to this so I start dancing while I'm cooking. I have perfected making the most perfect golden brown pancakes. I set three out each plate I've made too many so I make plates for Gail and Taylor. I grab the powdered sugar while I heat up the syrup I sprinkle it lightly over the plates and put a generous amount of syrup on them. When I turn around I see Christian at the top of the stairs looking like the Adonis he is in a gray Armani suit with a gray tie.

"How long have you been standing there?" I ask as he starts to descend the staircase. I set the plates on the breakfast bar.

"Long enough to see you belting out my humps." I turn beat red.

"Oh my god." I am absolutely mortified. He is about a foot away when he asks "So do you drive the fella's crazy? Do you do it on the daily?" He asks reciting the lyrics.

"You should know." I giggle.

"Best sound in the world." He pulls me in close to him and gives me a long lingering kiss. We are interrupted when we hear Taylor clearing his throat.

"What" Christian barks.

"I'm sorry Sir I just wanted to let you know I've gotten rid of the stuff you asked me to and Welch has the information you've asked for."

"Thank you. Now if you'd leave Anastasia and I to enjoy our breakfast that would be fantastic." He snaps at the end.

"Yes sir." And starts walking towards his and Gail's room.

"Wait Taylor."

"Yes mam." Ughh one of these days I am going to get him to call me Ana.

"Taylor how many times am I going to tell you to call me Ana." He looks at Christian who just nods.

"Ana." Success!

"I made to many pancakes so I've made Gail and you plates." I pass him the plates "Thank you." and with that he's gone.

"So what are we having?"

"Orange pancakes with raspberry syrup." I respond confidently.

"Sound delicious lets eat." I smile as we sit down. I am starving so I wolf down my pancakes and I also grab a banana after.

"I love that you eat."

"Well it is a basic human necessity."

"I know that but I'm just happy you take care of yourself. Now get dressed I had my personal shopper buy you some clothes for when you stay at my house." I glare at him.

"Christian you don't need to buy me clothes."

"I know that but I want to." Ugh this man is so fucking frustrating sometimes.

"I don't want to fight but I don't need you to buy me clothes it just a waste of money."

"Trust me Ana it's not a waste I make more than that in an hour."

"And I work for my money to Christian you don't need to buy me clothes. I am not a materialistic person. Books and you are all I need Christian and maybe shoes." I giggle although I'm not into fashion I love shoes. "you don't need to buy me things."

"Books, shoes and me." He chuckles and gives me that I'm-up-to-no-good smile.

"Christian don't get any ideas."

"Too late." He laughs like a little kid and runs into his study.

"Christian-Fucking-Grey I swear to god."

"I can't hear you get dress or we'll be late for work." He is so cute sometimes but I am still pissed I don't need him to spend his money on me. I walk into the closet and see he's bought me a little more than some stuff for when I stay over. I find a light blue lace bra and underwear set and put them on. I don't even want to know how he knows my bra size. I opt for the res and black pencil dress with ponte panels. It fits like a glove and since the hem drops just under my knees it is appropriate for work. I look at the shoes he's bought me and they are beautiful these I'm willing to keep. I decide to keep it simple and slip on a pair of black leather Christian Louboutin pumps. After ten minutes of trying to tame my hair I decide I look presentable.

I grab my things and head into the kitchen where I see Christian. He looks a little off when I left to change he looks fine but now its obvious something is wrong.

"Ana you look stunning." I blush and do a little spin which makes him chuckle.

"You do look so bad yourself." I say as I give him and exaggerated wink.

"You ready to go?"

"Yup." He takes my hand and leads me to the elevator. Instead of taking me to the SUV he leads me to a car I haven't seen before. I give him a quizzical look and he just laughs.

"This is for you Ana" What the fuck when is he going to get it through is head that I don't need this stuff.

"Christian I already have a car." He just glares.

"I must be mistaken I thought I you called that death trap of yours a car." He snaps at me.

"I have had Wanda for five years and she has never let me down."

"Ana I just want to make sure you are safe. I had Taylor look around and he has a buyer for your car and it is an amazing deal. I want you to take this car it is a gift from me Anastasia German cars are the safes money can buy I don't know what I would do if something happened to you." he really isn't letting up on this.

"The last time I check VW Beetle is a German car."

"Yes but your VW beetle is a death trap. Why can't you just say 'thank you Christian I love it'" Ughhh. "Just say yes Ana."

"Because I don't love it. If you want me to accept this car I have conditions."

"Okay what are they." He sighs.

"First is I get to take you out on another date. I drive, I pay and I pick what we do."

"No!" He almost shouts.

"Well then no deal!" I say knowing very well he is going to agree. "Fine. What else?"

"You have to let your staff call me by my name." I don't want to fight over this again so this seems like an easy request to ask.

"Alright."

"Yay." I jump him and give him a kiss. "Thank you for the car Christian." I smirks and laughs.

"That's better."

The car is beautiful it's a matte black Audi. "What kind of car is this?" I know nothing about cars.

"Audi R8 Spyder top of the line with the best safety features."

"Of course." I roll my eyes and get in the driver's seat.

"Can I have the keys?" I give him my best puppy dog eyes.

"I don't know I don't think people who roll there eyes should be rewarded." He jokes.

"Well then take me over your knee later and give me my keys because I'm going to be late for work."

His eyes brighten at the though of him taking me over his knee. He hands me the keys with a sadistic smile plastered on his face.

"Oh I intend to take you over my knee tonight." His work send a shock to my core I can't wait.

The car drives like a dream Christian had to remind me several times to go the speed limit I think he might be regretting his decision on the car. I drop him off at Grey House and on the drive over to SIP I feel like I'm being followed. There's a black car who has tailed me since I left. I decide it's just my imagination and pull into the garage at SIP.

Again I'm sorry it's been so long. Please Review!

xx