I watch as Tris walks to meet Four, the cold stone wall making the exposed skin on my back ache.
She looks tense, as if expecting something to wrong at any second. But I suppose with the world we live in that it isn't unreasonable. I creep forward as she turns the corner, Four is waiting at the door where we had both left and returned from. She relaxes as he comes into view. At one point seeing that would have sunk my heart, I was glad I had changed and grown. I was glad I had her as a friend although I would still end him if he hurt her. That part wouldn't change.
"What are you doing?" my fist connected with a soft stomach before I swept my leg and knocked whoever snuck up on me onto the ground.
"Oh no." I squeaked out, regret and guilt bubbling in my stomach; making me feel sick. "Oh Lynn, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you I didn't know it was you, I'm so sorry." I fussed over her, she was gasping for air on the floor but trying to look tough.
"Who's there?!" Fours voice boomed, echoing down the halls. Before I could react Lynn had pulled me on top of her, her lips pressed hard against my own.
An extremely male sounding squeak was heard then fumbling and a loud thud, as if he had fallen over Tris. As if on cue Tris groaned in pain, mumbling something under her breath.
I climbed off Lynn who in turn smirked at our crimson flushed superior. "Wow what are you doing out with an initiate?" she questioned him, raising her pierced brow.
"If both of you leave now then there will be no consequences." He wouldn't look at either of us, his vision trained on the wall behind us.
"If you insist." She heaved herself up and took my hand, I shot Tris an apologetic look before being dragged away.
"Thanks." We stopped once we were far enough away, we stood half-way between the two dorm rooms. We should part ways here.
"Shut up." She snarled, roughly pushing me against the wall. The bitter cold of the stone shocking my senses. Her lips locked with mine, I shuddered, sighing as I melted into her. I never realized just how badly I wanted this, wanted her. Her arms snaked around me, pulling me flush against her.
My breathing is unsteady, I felt nauseas. Today we would go through the last step of initiation, we would face our fears in front of everybody. We would be watched and judged on how well we faced our fears. I hoped to go at least close to last, I would know how to work the simulation then. I would know how well to do, I couldn't do so well that it drew too much attention to myself.
Slowly I raised the fork to my mouth; I had chosen a salad composed of spinach leaves, avocado, tiny shrimp, tomato bits, sliced carrots, sliced cucumber, bacon bits, and a light dressing. I ate healthier than my friends I suppose, although I guess some of them were scared this would be their last satisfying meal and soon they would be factionless. Or worse. We all knew what would happen after this last test. We all knew the risk of death was going to be at an all-time high.
After I finished eating I filed into the dorm with Tris, both of us letting our tension rung bodies fall onto our beds. Only seconds passed before I heard her light snoring, how exhausted had she been? I sighed, turning on my side and watched as other initiates either slept or relaxed as best they could. My brother sat on his bunk, staring at his hands as if they held every answer he could ever want.
It didn't feel like much time had passed before we need to leave the dorm, each initiate dressing comfortably. It looked like it really hurt Molly to even breathe, I was glad. Her face was still battered and bruised. I'm pretty sure I caused permanent damage. She deserved it, after everything she has caused.
I pulled on a plain black cropped shirt, a pair of cutout fishnet leggings, and my black boots with chain detailing. As always, I had on the necklace Peter gave to me, a black and silver rimmed crescent moon. I still had on the make-up I applied earlier, it didn't look too horrible so I left it alone.
Every initiate, including dauntless-born, were crowded together like a herd of animals. No one looked calm, you could see the anxiousness in their eyes. Tension filled the empty spaces, so thick it could be cut with a knife. We all knew today was it, few of us knew what was going to happened afterward. Others just thought it was a huge test that either left them here or on the streets. But it was so much more than that, Tris and I reminded our friends of that. Everyone was scared. Although we were all too proud to admit that.
We walk to the Pit and up the path that leads to the glass building. I look up at the glass ceiling, so many people walk above us that no sunlight is able to peak through. The only thing we can see are the black soles of boots. My own boots making a slight metallic jingling noise as I walked, the chains on the back are what made these my favorite.
My eyes flittered around, taking in the appearance of the people around me. I saw Uriah biting his nails and Marlene smacking him for it. I saw Chris take Wills hand in her own trembling one, I saw Tris shift closer to me.
"This is it." She whispered, "Avalon is coming." No one heard her other than myself, the sound of hammering feet on the concrete stairs drowned out her voice.
"I know, be prepared. Our friends already know to be." None of us would be injected, we would all fight and kill as much as this situation called for. In either outcome we would become killers, but at least in this one it would be corrupt and evil people who went down and not innocent ones.
Soon we enter a room, everyone is crowded around a series of screens, the testing has started. Dauntless-born are going first, it looks like Marlene either volunteered or was chosen to start it all. Cheers fill the room, we are proud even though we don't see what she does. I am thankful for that, we get to keep that part of ourselves private.
I sigh, the room is almost unbearably hot with the amount of people crammed inside. Their bodies radiating, beads of sweat drip off nearly everyone.
The middle screen shows her heart rate. It picks up for a second and then decreases. When it reaches a normal rate, the screen flashes green and the Dauntless cheer. The screen on the right shows her time.
I tear my eyes from the screen and jog to catch up to Chris and Will. Tobias stands just inside a door on the left side of the room, it's next to the fear landscape room. I wipe at my forehead as I walk past him, he gives me a single glance. His features set like a statue, he was guarding everything today.
The room is large and contains another screen, similar to the one outside. A line of people sit in chairs in front of it. Eric is one of them, and so is Max. The others are also older. Judging by the wires connected to their heads, and their blank eyes, they are observing the simulation. Great, they would see. I pray my fears had nothing to do with what was about to come or what had already happened. I hoped my fears were crazy, like the one with the monsters beyond the wall. But I didn't feel like that was one anymore. After everything, how could I be fearful of that?
Behind them is another line of chairs, all occupied. Tris, Lynn, and I would stand. I suppose I didn't mind, that is of course until I thought of why so few chairs were here. They didn't think at least four of us would make it, they expected four of us to die or leave before this.
I felt the need vomit, my weak stomach not able to stand the volts of energy and anxiousness running through me. I already knew after the simulation I wouldn't be able to hold it back, everyone here would get to see me get sick.
The lights lift in the fear landscape room, revealing Marlene in a crouch, her face streaked with tears. Max, Eric, and a few others shake off the simulation daze and walk out. A few seconds later I see them on the screen, congratulating her for finishing.
Dauntless-born were soon enough cycled through, my anger rising as I watched Lynn in her simulation. I wanted to know what she feared, what she was seeing.
"Transfers, the order in which you go through the final test was taken from your rankings as they now stand," Tobias says. "So, Drew will go first, and Alessa will go last."
That means six people will go before I do. A sigh of relief escapes me, I will know exactly how to do.
I stand in the back of the room, a few feet away from Tobias. Eric and I exchange glances when he sticks Drew with the needle and sends him into the fear landscape room.
The fear landscapes are not interesting to watch from the outside. I can see that Drew is moving, but I don't know what he is reacting to. After a few minutes, I close my eyes instead of watching and try to think of nothing. Speculating about which fears I will have to face, and how many there will be, is useless at this point. I just have to remember that I have the power to manipulate the simulations, and that I have practiced it before. I just couldn't go at it full force, if I did then I had no doubts I would be dead within seconds.
Molly goes next. It takes her half as long as it takes Drew, but even Molly has trouble. She spends too much time breathing heavily, trying to control her panic. At one point, she even screams at the top of her lungs. At that I smirk, what could possibly have her that scared? Was it wrong that I wanted to know, that I wanted to see what was happening?
Christina is next. Then Will. Then Peter. Lastly Tris. It hurts to watch them suffer, to watch as they fight things that I can't see and help with. My brother looks so tired by the end of it. Their times are pounded into my head: twelve minutes, ten minutes, thirteen minutes, five minutes. Fuck, just five? I groaned internally, I couldn't let myself beat that time. It was already too short.
Soon it is my turn.