Sorry this took so long to post.
Chapter Forty:
Ana's POV:
I have to leave the hospital in a wheel chair, which is absurd. I hurt my shoulder, not my legs. The nurse that I gave my discharge papers to told me it is their policy. Christian and Ray wheel me front doors and blinding lights start flashing in every direction. Christian helps me to my feet; I take some deep breaths before stepping outside into the crowd of paparazzi.
Luke, Ray, Taylor, and Christian are doing what they can to fend off the paparazzi, but despite there best efforts cameras are still being shoved into my face. It is so loud everyone is screaming at me.
'Are you alright?'
'What are your injuries like?'
'Are you happy to be going home?'
Ahhhhh! Stop it!
I know the drill; ignore them and keep going. Christian's arm is protectively around my waist the whole time. Once we are all in the safety of the SUV, I let out a sigh of relief. "Are you okay, babe?" Christian asks and looks me over. He's treating me like a china doll.
"I'm fine, baby." I give him a kiss and realize my dad's right next to us. My face turns bright red. The rest of the ride is very quiet; either because of the kiss between Christian and I that my father saw, or the fact that no one wants to bring up the topic of my kidnapping.
I want to lie down, but I desperately need a shower and/or bath. I hug my dad give Christian a kiss and say hello to Gail. I head upstairs and the second I get through the doorway to the bathroom, I instantly start peeling off my clothes. I turn on the shower and put on a waterproof dressing over my stitches.
I look at my naked body in the mirror. My face is swollen, I have a cuts on my cheek-bone, bruising on my face, back, arms and legs. I thought we were never going to be this girl again. My subconscious sneers.
I jump in to the shower and tears start pooling is my eyes. I bite my lip in an effort not to cry, which doesn't help. Within seconds, tears are falling down my face, the salt water burns my lips. I grab the luffa that I brought here with some of my things and squeeze some of my body wash on to it. I scrub and scrub my skin, but I don't feel clean. I promised I would never look like this again. I promised I'd never get anyone lay a finger on my body again, but look at me. I have dry blood everywhere and purple bruising all over my body. Once again, I have become the victim of abuse.
My eyes are burning and dry from crying so hard, but the tears still fall. Christian walks in and I'm sitting on the floor, struggling to breathe.
"Ana, calm down." I hear from behind me but he sounds so distant. He sits down behind me and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his lap. He's still wearing his clothes, but he doesn't care. His touch is instantly soothing, but I still can't catch my breath. I snuggle into his chest and calm down after a few minutes. He grabs my bottle of Jasmine shampoo and starts massaging it into my hair.
After he washes out the conditioner, he pulls me to my feet and helps me out of the shower. He grabs a towel from the warming rack and wraps it around me. He grabs a smaller towel and dries my hair. He carries me to the bed, but I don't want to sleep.
I walk into the closet and put on my Vendome Demi Bra and Panties. I grab my bright blue 7 For All Mankind jeans and a plain white tee-shirt.
Christian gets out of his soaking wet clothing and puts on a the same thing as me. A white shirt and blue jeans. Christian rings out his clothing over the bathtub and throws it into the laundry bin. We walk down the stairs hand in hand. Ray is sitting on the couch in the living room with Taylor and a couple a beers.
We sit down next to them and I grab a beer for Christian and I. They both give us a look since I went to shower, but Christian's hair is also wet. I instantly blush. Taylor passes me a bottle opener, but I politely decline. Everyone stares at me as I open my beer with my teeth.
"I taught her that when she was ten" Ray says and everyone laughs.
"I can't imagine that's good for your teeth." Taylor says
"Your teeth aren't tools" says Christian and I ignore them both
We talk about the possible expansion of the NHL for a hockey team in Seattle.
"Does anyone here watch hockey?" I say. I know Ray does, that's where my love of hockey started. Taylor and Christian just shrug. Ray and I fight over our favourite hockey teams. He thinks the Canucks are under rated and I say the Toronto Maple Leafs are ready for a comeback. I mostly follow the Canadian teams, but I'm also a Blackhawks fan.
Taylor and Ray make a burger and beer run. Once they walk out the door, I see Flynn walk in. I glare at Christian even though I want to see Flynn, I wish I had a day.
I guide Flynn into my new office and Christian brings in another chair for himself at my desk.
"Anastasia, I want you to talk about the events that happened." I go through the events that happened exactly as they happened. The chloroform, tying me down, Tyler, the fight, and waking up in the ER. His face falls because it's the Stephen Morton shit again. Christian sits my my side the entire time. He doesn't speak just keeps his hand on my leg.
"Can you tell me how this has made you feel?"
"I feel like a victim again." I respond as I scratch at my arm. Scratching is one of my coping mechanisms when I get really anxious. Once I notice what I'm doing, I stop and place my palms flat on my desk.
"Well, Anastasia, you were."
Don't fucking say that! I scream internally.
"I know that, but why?. . . Don't answer that. I know I'm not supposed to ask questions like that, but really? Again?"
"Ana I'm not saying this is normal. You've been dealt some bad cards in life on more than one occasion. Remember what you said to me the first time we talked?" I shrug since I honestly don't remember.
"You said 'When things get hard, I try and focus on the good'" I smile I remember now. "I want you to tell me the good things in your life."
"Well there's Christian" I don't look at him, but I can tell he's smiling. "My father, walking to the dog park and looking at the puppies." Whenever I get overly anxious I go to the dog park and watch the dogs.
"Good, I need you to remember those things. I want you to go over your coping mechanisms with me. You may not have flashbacks of this event, but with your untreated PTSD about your step-father this could trigger your flashbacks again." I clench my teeth and count to ten.
"Counting, touching five parts of my body, listening to music, writing and drawing."
"One last thing before I go. I know you cut; I can still see the wounds and they're fresh. What are the five things you need to do before you cut." Christian tenses up because he knows I must have done it after we broke up.
"Read, snap an elastic band on my wrist, workout, rip up paper, and bake."
"Good I would like to schedule an appointment later this week."
"Does Friday work?"
"Friday is perfect." We stand up and I walk him to to the door. He extends his hand for me to shake it and I wrap my arms around him. "Thank you, Flynn."
I let go and he walks towards the elevator and I close the door. We eat burgers, fries and drink beer. Once it starts to get dark outside we decide to watch a movie. I cuddle into Christian and he wraps his arms around me. I'm far past expecting things in my life to be normal, but this feels right.
Before we go to bed, Ray asks everyone if we want to go on a camping trip in the summer and everyone is more than excited. I haven't been camping with Ray since I started university. Maybe we could invite the whole Grey family with us and have a family camping trip. Well, if Christian and I are still together.
Once I climb into bed wearing my tee-shirt, I check my Google alert for Anastasia Steele.
BREAKING NEWS: ARE CHRISTIAN GREY AND ANASTASIA STEELE OVER?
BREAKING NEWS: ANASTASIA STEELE HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED
BREAKING NEWS: ANASTASIA STEELE HAS BEEN RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL
BREAKING NEWS: ANASTASIA STEELE AND CHRISTIAN GREY WERE SEEN LEAVING THE HOSPIAL TODAY
Is this what qualifies as breaking news now? There's no anonymity when you're dating one of America's best and brightest, is there? I wonder if I was kidnapped and not with Christian Grey people would even care. Christian climbs into bed and glares at me when he sees what I'm doing.
"You just have to ignore it, Anastasia."
"I know, Adonis."It's been a long time since I called him that to his face. He gives me his award winning smirk and kisses me. I was hoping this would go a little further, but he doesn't want to hurt me. I guess I have to wait until the stitches are out. I pick up my old tattered copy of Hamlet and start reading.
"To be or not to be." Christian says.
"To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
That Flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to Dream; Aye, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes Calamity of so long life:" Christian just stares at me.
"I know more I didn't want bore you." He laughs so I continue speaking "Do you know what it's about?" He shakes his head to signal no.
"I read it once in high school, but I don't remember much."
"Contemplating suicide." He gives me a half smile, but doesn't say a word and I continue reading. I'm half way through he book when I look at the time and see that it's one in the morning. I'm not tired so I go down stairs and get some ice cream from the freezer. I sit there reading quietly eating my ice cream. I jump when my father comes up behind me.
"I didn't mean to scare you, Annie." He gives me an apologetic smile.
"I'm just a little jumpy." I stand up and grab him a spoon.
"Why are you awake?" He asks giving his concerned father look.
"You know me, Dad. Once I start reading, I can't stop." He looks at my book and responds.
"Hamlet again." I smile. He bought me that book when I moved back in with him and have read it in times of trouble ever since. It became a way for me to hold onto reality. A reminder that I was safe and no longer with him. I've read it so often that it take me two hours to finish it now. We sit and talk about my promotion. He congratulates me on getting two book published.
"I'm serious, you've been to hell and back, but never let it get in the way of your dreams."
"I had some help." I give him a hug.
"One more thing before I head to bed, Christian's a great guy. I never thought anyone would be good enough for you Annie, but he comes close." Ray gives me a kiss on the forehead and walk back to the guestroom.
I finish Hamlet, put away the ice cream and sneak back into the room. I brush my teeth again before climbing into bed with Christian. Once I close my eyes, he wraps his arms around me and I fall asleep.
Christian's POV:
I wake up and Anastasia's not there. I see her sitting in the kitchen with her father.
"One more thing before I head to bed, Christian's a great guy. I never thought anyone would be good enough for you Annie, but he comes close." I smile and walk back into our room. I lie in bed and wait for Ana. I expect her to come right away, but she doesn't. I guess she's still reading. I try and fall asleep, but no luck. I'm about to go out and see what's taking her so long when she walks in the room. I pretend to be asleep while she brushes her teeth. When she gets into bed, I pull her in close to me and fall asleep.
What did you think? x