You guys are literally the best readers any author could ever ask for. The fact that I still got reviews even though I've been away for such a long time almost made me want to cry. You've waited so patiently while I got my life after college in order and for that I am eternally grateful.

It was mentioned in a review that the story was beginning to get too serious. I understand that things are not as nonchalant as the beginning, and that everyone spends less time fooling around and goofing off. But the reality is that's just how the story is going right now. Sayuri is stuck in the pit of "daddy issues". She's being labeled as a monster because of who she is and that is something she needs to come to terms with. She's also at war within herself to figure out who she really is. It's a serious time for her and my writing will reflect that. So while I know some of you miss the goofy days, hang on through the dark ones. Stick with Sayuri! She needs backup and support so she doesn't become her father! Help me save her by sending her your love! There will be a time when, I promise, you will all have literally nothing but goofy fun days back, but I won't get into that juuuust yet. For now, enjoy, and thank you for the criticism and comments! You guys rock 3

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Disclaimer: I do not own bleach or any of its characters/locations/etc. I only own this plotline and the OCs.

Thanks for the follows/alerts/favorites: shikaboo, silentnightDW, FangirlFTW, missymoo11, Salmones, Buzooka Zooka, Candy908, SaiKaiya01

And thank you to random chick who sent me a review tonight that really kicked my ass into gear and got me to finish this chapter for you =] peace girl

Chapter 19

"Ugh," Jinta let out yet another sigh. I rolled my eyes, about ready to push him off his spot on top of the dryer where we were stacking the folded laundry. "What's the point to this anyway? We're just gonna unfold everything eventually," he complained, sticking a pair of boxers on his head and moving on to one of Urahara's shirts.

"Because the rest of us are civilized human beings," I said, snatching the boxers from him and folding them. "We like to neatly put clean clothes into this big box that actually keeps them clean called a dresser." Jinta groaned and threw himself on top of the clothes pile. I yanked a pink dress out from under him before it could get too wrinkled. Ururu did not like wrinkles, I remembered smiling to myself.

"Why isn't pineapple head helping with all this?" Jinta's whine came out muffled, his face buried.

"He's busy, you know that," I said. Biting my lip, I couldn't help but think that Jinta was a bit right.

Renji had recently been given some kind of serious surveillance job from his bosses in the Soul Society that we weren't allowed to know about. Apparently he was being trusted to keep an eye on a "potentially dangerous threat", or at least that's what Urahara told us when we asked. He was rarely around to help out in the store recently, which meant that I had to drag Jinta and Ururu around every time Urahara needed something done. I could have handled Ururu, she was the queen of comfortable silences. But Jinta…it would have been better if I walked around hitting myself over the head with a rock. I went home every day with a headache. The few times Renji was around, he always seemed distant and distracted. His face looked tired and drawn but every time I asked if he was alright, he'd just shrug and insist he was fine.

"He's being such a jerk ever since he got that new job. What's he supposed to be watching anyway," Jinta threw off the clothes Ururu had begun piling on top of his buried head. He growled at her, bearing his tiny teeth, only a few of which had fallen out. Ururu just stared back at him before she went back to folding clothes. Sometimes I forgot just how young they both were. I spent so much time with them I often got into the habit of saying more than I should. They might be children, but they were far from innocent, already seeing more bloodshed and evil in this world than I ever had. Lately, I felt a strong urge to keep them from all the evil of my reality. I wanted to keep them safe, so I had started to choose my words very carefully around them, not wanting to give away too much.

"I don't really care. It's his business," I threw another pair of boxers at Jinta. "Let him do his job, and in the meantime, you do yours. Start folding." Jinta stuck his tongue out at me and I rolled my eyes at him. Just then, Tessai called the kids out to the front room.

Jinta sprang off the top of the dryer, throwing folded clothes everywhere. I threw the undershirt I was working on up in exasperation, not caring about wrinkles anymore. I was just about to follow them out of the room when a familiar face appeared in the doorway.

"Ichigo!" My orange haired friend smiled down at me. He ruffled my hair a bit.

"Need some help?" he asked, nodding to the mess that looked like the dryer had exploded. I grinned back at him sheepishly, and nodded. He laughed and bent down to pick up the clothes closest to him. For a little while we folded in a comfortable silence, spotted with some remarks about the weather and school and our friends. It wasn't until Ichigo started shifting from one foot to the other that I realized he kept glancing over at me.

"What's up?" I asked him. He averted his eyes, trying to cover up his behavior. Which of course, only made it more obvious. I put down the black shihakushō I was folding that was probably Renji's. I gave Ichigo a look and he shrugged, realizing it was pointless pretending he didn't have something he wanted to say.

"I was just trying to figure out if you meant what you said."

"About what?" I asked, picking up the shihakushō again.

"Renji. And not caring where he is." I stopped folding and froze. "I mean, you've been moping around all week."

"I have not-" Ichigo gave me a look and I knew there was no point in arguing, "-been moping," I finished weakly. Ichigo grinned.

"Yes you have. You barely eat lunch anymore. You just stare out the window when he's not around." I blushed hard realizing how ridiculous I must have looked. Seeing my face redden, Ichigo laughed. "It's no big deal. You two have gotten pretty close since you got here right?"

"No. Well, kinda," I stuttered. "He's just been gone a lot and the chores pile up around here. It's annoying." I turned my face away, feeling like it was going to melt off.

It was true that Renji and I had been spending a great deal of time together. Between training me and working in the shop and being my classmate at school, I would see him almost every day, even weekends. His sudden absence from almost every one of those moments felt wrong. No rolled eyes. No forehead flicks. No shoves with his shoulder. It wasn't until he was gone that I started to realize just what his presence meant to me. How important he was and how I missed the way his golden eyes softened around the corners when he would look at me.

Shaking my head, I tried to rid myself of the flurry of butterflies wreaking havoc all over my insides. I focused on folding Renji's robes when a flash of something caught my eye. Turning the material over in my hands, I picked up the sleeve to find a stain of hardened yellow paint. There was a small trail of dots and a larger stain on the back as well. I picked at it a bit, thinking that I knew the color and trying to figure out where it was from.

A thought stirred in my mind that stopped the butterflies dead in their tracks. A memory from a few weeks back.

Although I had gotten a better grip on my lightning abilities since Raiu started training with me, there were still moments of vulnerability when I lost control. These moments mostly came when I was dreaming. I would lash out at invisible horrors and bolts of lightning would ricochet around my room before absorbing into the force field Yuroichi had put in place. Even though the bolts could not break through the walls, they still left their marks in scratches or missing chunks of paint all over. Finally, one weekend when Emiko and Isamu were super busy at their shop, I made my way to the hardware store to buy another can of Summer Dandelion. I managed to paint over each section that was messed up so that, unless you looked really hard, you could barely tell anything had happened.

That particular night, I remembered having a very nasty nightmare which ended, as per usual, with me letting loose a couple bolts. The force was enough to knock me out of bed, and as I hit the floor, something else did on the other side of the room as well. While I struggled with my sheets, out of the corner of my eye I could see something black and red shoot by and out the window. It was gone by the time I freed myself and ran over to take a look, but I could have sworn I heard a familiar voice utter a few choice words as my lightning bounced around the room.

I picked at the yellow paint some more, remembering how I had found a patch on the wall right next to my door where the paint had been rubbed off. I wracked my brain, trying to remember if I had brushed against it, but none of my clothes were stained.

I gripped the shihakushō tightly and walked out of the room, ignoring Ichigo's shouts behind me. I pulled open each sliding door down the hallway, looking for Urahara. Finally, not finding him relaxing in any of the back rooms, I heard his drawling voice from the front of the store.

Sliding open the last door I found him leaning against a shelf, sweet talking a pretty girl who giggled ridiculously at him. As I entered the room, she took notice of me while Urahara seemed to be trying to ignore my presence. I stood there on the top step, the robes still in my hand and just stared at him. The girl shifted uncomfortably and her eyes repeatedly moved between us. Once Urahara realized he no longer had her full attention, he lifted his eyes to wear I was standing and fixed me with an annoyed expression.

"Sayuri, is there something you need? I'm with a customer right now," he said, winking at the girl who giggled again.

"Where is he?" I asked quietly. Urahara glanced down at the robes in my hand and then turned back to the girl who glanced at me nervously.

"I'm clearly trying to help someone right now Sayuri, you should wait-"

"Where," I repeated again, my voice growing a bit louder and impatient, "is he, Kisuke?" Urahara turned and looked at me with steely eyes. He was angry and I could feel a slight pressure emanating from him, thinning the air in the room.

"Mr. Urahara, if you please, in front of our customers," he chuckled, gesturing toward the girl who muttered something about coming back later and headed for the door. Urahara watched her go and as soon as the front door slid shut he spun around. "Now she's gone! Are you happy?"

"I know you know," I said, not letting my eyes leave his. "This 'job' he has all of a sudden. This 'threat' he's supposed to be watching and tailing and monitoring. I know you know what it is, so just answer my question." Urahara laughed trying to brush me off.

"The Soul Society doesn't include me in secret missions anymore," he waved his hand in front of his face.

"Fine. Don't tell me where he is. But at least tell me if it has anything to do with this," I held out the shihakushō, yellow paint up. By this time I had started walking across the room towards Kisuke. Tessai, Jinta, Ururu, and Ichigo had all come into the room and were watching silently behind me.

"Well I would hope that while Renji is doing whatever he's been asked to he's wearing something. That would certainly make things awkward if he didn't," Urahara chuckled, brushing me off again.

"The paint. On the sleeve. Summer Dandelion to be exact. You wanna know how I know that? Because it's the name on the paint cans still sitting in my room. The name of the paint that's now on my walls. Paint that was smudged a few weeks ago when something brushed against it while it was still wet." Urahara stared at me with cold steely eyes.

"Sayuri, the Soul Society is in place to protect the worlds from dangerous beings-"

"Dangerous beings?" I interrupted. "I am not dangerous." I heard Jinta scoff behind me and mutter something about Ururu under his breath. My face flushed.

"No one said he was watching you, Sayuri." I hated the tone Urahara was using, like he was talking to a child getting upset over nothing. I walked up to him and shoved the shihakushō into his arms.

"No one had to," I said through gritted teeth.

"Come on Sayuri, Renji's our friend. He was only doing his jo-" Ichigo started to say, stepping down into the center of the room. I glared at him and he stopped. So, I thought, Ichigo knows too? Looking around at their faces I saw the same expression. Pity.

"Friend? Friends don't lie to each other." I turned and walked out of the store, slamming the door shut behind me.

As I walked I felt a lump in my throat, but I would not allow myself to cry. I could not tell if I was more upset over the realization that they all knew what Renji was doing except me, or that they thought I was a threat. I made my way out to the main sidewalk a few blocks away, pushing through crowds of people out shopping. I muttered a few apologies and kept going, not really caring if they heard me. I was not sure where I wanted to so, so I just kept walking, staring down at my feet as I scuffed them along the pavement.

After a while I looked up, worried I had gotten myself lost, when I recognized where I was. Up ahead I could see a familiar flower vase sitting at the base of a telephone pole. In it were the few ume blossom clippings I had brought back from the banquet and placed there a few weeks ago. As I got closer I could hear someone humming and around the corner I caught a glimpse of a small pink shoe.

I crouched down by the vase and gently touched one of the ume blossoms. The petals were still soft and pink, even though they had been picked a while ago.

"Someone's been taking very good care of these," I said aloud, watching the shoe disappear, only to show up again right beside me along with the rest of a body. Rikku smiled down at me, her big green eyes bright with excitement. "Was it you?" I asked, smiling back at her. Despite being dead, she was always in a good mood, and it rubbed off on me no matter how I was feeling.

Rikku shook her head and her pigtails flapped into her face.

"Was it….Ichigo?" I guessed, reaching out to tug on one of the pigtails playfully. She shook her head again, still grinning. "Jinta or Ururu?" Another negative. I looked at her confused. Who else knew about her being here?

"It was your friend with the spiky red hair. The boy!" I felt the smile slide off my face. "He's really nice! He brings me flowers sometimes too!" Well that was news. I had always assumed the extra little flowers I'd find in the vase or scattered around it were from Ichigo or Ururu. I had no idea Renji had been stopping here. "He said that he wanted to hear more about you. So he stops by and asks me things." I felt anger flare up inside my stomach and fought to keep it down. He dragged Rikku into this stupid job? I'm gonna kill him….

"What things does he ask you, Rikku?" She shrugged.

"Just what you do when you come see me and what we talk about." She noticed my stony face and her voice began to falter. "I'm sorry. Was that bad?" I sighed, reminding myself it was not her I was upset with.

"No, it wasn't bad. Just…don't talk to Renji anymore when he comes by ok?" She nodded. Standing up, I walked over to the street wall and leaned back against it. I let my body slide down until I was sitting on the pavement. I shook my head and pulled my knees up to my chin.

"Are you ok?"

"I don't know anymore, Rikku. Things have gotten so complicated. Every time I think I've taken a step forward, it turns out I've taken two back. Renji's pissed me off, my friends think I'm dangerous. And on top of that, my psychotic Shadow-lord father is creeping around just waiting to pounce." I buried my face in my arms.

A small hand touched my shoulder, and I felt Rikku sit down next to me. To any passerby it would seem like I was alone on that corner, but I could feel the small girl's body as if it were physically there. She wasn't just a spirit to me.

"I'm not afraid of you, ya know," she whispered.

"Maybe you should be," I answered, my voice muffled from under my arms. "I've already hurt Ururu."

"You won't hurt me," she said, her voice so sure, so unwavering, as if that truth was written in the stars for her. I turned my head to look at her. She was sitting with her head back against the wall, her face tilted towards the sun. She closed her eyes, as if she could still feel the warmth of its rays against her skin, and smiled. "You're not evil. And you won't ever be. It's just not who you are." I raised my eyebrows at her dubiously.

"How can you know that?"

"When you're dead, some things just make a lot more sense to you than they did when you were alive. Spirits can tell if someone is good or bad." She opened her eyes and turned them on me, suddenly very serious. I looked back at her, feeling her energy mingle with mine as she stretched out to every corner of my being, as if she was looking for something within me. "There's good energy inside you. And there's bad energy there too. But everyone is like that. They have a little of both. There's even energy you don't know about yet." Since when did this kid start talking like a spirit guide of some kind?

I stared at Rikku, wondering how it was possible for so young a person to understand so much about the mysteries that lay hidden within.

"How do you know all that?" I asked. She shrugged, looking like the young happy-go-lucky child she usually was and smiling at me.

"It's easy to understand other people. It's hard to understand ourselves because sometimes there are things we're afraid to face head on." I stared at Rikku, wondering how so young a person was able to speak with such wisdom. Before I could say anything, a howl tore through the calm spring air.

I stood up. Closing my eyes, I sunk back to the place in my mind where spirit energy became ribbons. I sought out the mangled black material that formed from a Hollow's existence. Latching onto it, I could feel its power course through me. It's a pretty big one, a familiar crackly voice whispered in my ear.

"Nothing we can't handle," I said with a grin. I focused on that small center of energy inside me, just like Raiu taught me. I imagined a circle that started growing bigger and bigger as I felt my power surge through my body. As soon as it got big enough, I dove into it. Feeling a slight breeze against my skin, I opened my eyes to find familiar singed black robes blowing around my legs. Rikku smiled up at me.

"See?" she said. "Bad guys don't fight monsters." She held my hand and squeezed it. I squeezed back and smiled.

"You're right. If you say I'm a good guy then I must be." I bent down and kissed her soft forehead. Winking, I pulled my hood over my head, and the rest of the fabric up over my mouth and nose so only my eyes could be seen. "Ready, Raiu?" I felt her affirmative response as a heaviness appeared at my waist. My zanpakutō materialized, sheath and all. "Good. Let's go." I shot upwards and landed on a nearby roof before I waved at Rikku. Then, flash stepping all the way, I ran towards the Hollow.

ooo

I made quick work of the Hollow, barely even working up a sweat.

"Well, Raiu," I said aloud, knowing she could hear me, "Looks like all this training is starting to pay off, huh?"

Don't get too cocky, she fizzled in my ear. I'm the one doing all the heavy lifting. I laughed and put her back in the sheath. A streetlight nearby flickered on and I noticed the sun was beginning to set.

"Crap. All my stuff is back at the store," I muttered, realizing I would have to go back. I had been planning on not seeing anyone for a few days, but clearly that wasn't going to happen.

As I walked back into the yard at the Urahara Shop, the front door was open, and voices could be heard from inside. I had changed back to my "human form" although calling it that seemed kind of weird, and slipped my shoes off just before entering. No one was in the front room, and I found my bag hanging right on the hook like it always was. I could hear Urahara speaking, but the voice that responded was unfamiliar. I moved closer to the door that opened to the back room. Just as I got to it, I stepped on the squeaky board and the door slid open.

Urahara smiled down at me. I looked past him to see the visitor. A small boy sat at the table, sipping from a tea cup. He had spiky silver hair and bright turquoise eyes like I had never seen before. He couldn't have been much older than twelve.

"Ah Sayuri," Urahara said, sounding a bit surprised. "Come on in." I stepped into the room, eyeing the boy nervously. He was wearing a long white cloak and there was something about him that seemed very official, even for a kid. "This is Toshiro Histugaya, captain of squad 10."

"Squad 10?" I asked. "Like, the squads in the Soul Society?" Urahara nodded. I tried to stifle a laugh but it escaped. The boy glared at me even harder. "I'm sorry, but you're just a kid, aren't you? How are you a captain, Toshiro?"

"I get that a lot. And it's Captain Hitsugaya." He extended a hand towards and empty pillow. "Please take a seat."

"Oh, that's alright. I was actually just here for my bag." I held it up as evidence, but Captain Hitsugaya kept his hand outstretched. I looked from him to Urahara, who was avoiding my eyes. Something was off. The air suddenly felt very thick and it was as if a huge weight was pressing down on my shoulders, forcing my knees to buckle and my body to land on the pillow.

"So glad you could stay," the captain smirked. My hands clenched into fists under the table. I didn't know who this kid was or where he thought he was, but he was in for a rude awakening if he thought his little trick was funny. "The data sheets, Kisuke." Urahara sat down beside me with a serious look on his face. He pulled a roll of paper from inside his sleeve and handed it across the table to the captain.

As Hitsugaya began scanning the sheets, I caught a glimpse of some of the words on them: power progress, reiatsu levels, locations visited, observed actions. Weird. But the weirdest part was that on top of each page in large letters were the words "Shadow 05 Reports".

Shadow 05? Could that be me?

"If you can't already tell Miss Kobayashi, I've been sent by the Soul Society to monitor the current situation in Karakura Town." Captain Histugaya's cold eyes never left the reports.

"Situation?" I asked.

"Shadows," Urahara interjected, "You must understand, Sayuri, haven't existed in any world for thousands of years. Not here, the Soul Society, Hueco Mundo where the Hollows reside, or any of the in between planes. For the past few years, colonies of them have suddenly begun appearing again. Their abilities are low, but their presence was still enough to catch the attention of the Soul Society."

Hitsugaya cleared his throat and shuffled through a few more pages before continuing Urahara's explanation. "Shadows have caused problems in the past. They were convinced they were created to rule over the worlds and tried to force the humans into submission. They were wiped out before that could happen." I felt my eyes widen. My mouth was dry. Wiped out? But then how…

"Shadows can be created from human souls, so it was only a matter of time before they returned. We are mostly interested in the reports of only a few of them who possess considerably higher levels of spirit energy and abilities, particularly over the elements. There are five of them that we have discovered so far."

I counted off in my head. Well, there's Katsu of course. And Ren, but she's gone now. Mikio is three, and there was that other man who I haven't seen since that first time. And me. As if reading my mind, Hitsugaya continued.

"You might be surprised to learn that the Shadow that worries most of the captains, is not your father, but you." I looked at him incredulously.

"Me!? You've got to be kidding…. How exactly are they worrying about me?" I could feel a flare of anger in the pit of my stomach. Who did this kid think he was anyway?

"You are the only Shadow that has released immense amounts of spiritual energy. We received the reports from a date about two weeks ago."

"Yeah, that was when I fought Ren. She's one of the other Shadows and she was completely crazy, I had no choice! Renji got badly hurt, I couldn't just do nothing-"

"Despite that, the levels you emitted almost caused serious damage to the border between our worlds. It spent us up until today to repair the tears you created." Hitsugaya still didn't look at me, and I felt the anger inside me spreading to the rest of my body.

"So you would rather I didn't save Renji's life?"

"Renji Abarai is a trained Soul Reaper who is highly skilled at taking out enemy spirit beings. He would have been fine-"

"Are you crazy!? His damn leg was broken, and a couple ribs! I wasn't going to just leave him there!"

"Sayuri!" Urahara hissed, reaching over and placing a hand on my arm. "Please, calm down. The captain is only explaining-"

"No!" I ripped my arm away from Urahara. "He's being an ass." I ripped the reports out of Hitsugaya's hands, wanting him to look at me instead of acting like I was hardly worth his time. "I want the captain to understand that I help people. On a daily basis, in case he hasn't noticed the number of Hollows walking around down here. I don't hurt people with my powers. I've seen what Katsu can do and it was horrifying. You're wasting your time on me."

"Your father was human once," Histugaya said, sounding bored. "To err is in a human's nature, as is the desire for power. We don't know you. Why you're here. Who you really are or what you're truly capable of. We don't know if one day, you will crave the same power your father does and join him."

The lights in the room began to flicker. I could feel my hair rising as the electricity in the air heightened. It was taking every ounce of my self-control to stop myself from throwing Hitsugaya through the wall to the lot outside.

"How dare you," I hissed through gritted teeth. "How dare you even think that would happen."

"We don't know if it will, that's the whole point. Therefore, we will continue keeping a close watch over you." One of my arms began to rise, on its own or by my willing I had no idea at that moment. But, suddenly, Kisuke was grabbing me and pushing me out the door.

"You need to calm down, Sayuri, please!" he begged quietly. "They're only monitoring you for now; they'll leave in the future! Just let it go!" I let him steer me out to the front room where we ran into a confused looking Renji.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking from my frizzy hair and angry face to Urahara's desperately pleading one.

"In here, Lieutenant," the captain called. Renji looked around us, surprised. He shot straight up, his back as stiff as a board.

"Of course, Captain Hitsugaya, sir." He walked into the back room and slid the door shut. Kisuke stayed with me and loosened his hold on my arm, apparently figuring no one was in immediate danger of being fried any longer.

"Lieutenant?" I asked him.

"Renji's the lieutenant of Squad 6. He's second in command." It would have been one thing if they had sent any old Soul Reaper to watch me. But I wasn't stupid. I knew having someone of Renji's rank on the job meant they were serious about monitoring me. I wouldn't be able to wash the floors anymore without them thinking I was going to try and drown anyone nearby with the soap bucket. And my little display of aggression in there probably didn't help my case.

Seconds passed, then minutes, as we tried to listen to the hushed conversation inside the back room. When they were finally done and the door opened, the captain exited first. Urahara walked with him to the front door. I didn't even get a goodbye, which was fine with me. Renji exited next and walked slowly until he was standing before me. I stared hard at his face, waiting for an explanation, but he simply stared at the ground. After a few moments I couldn't stand the silence and spoke up.

"So you've been spying on me?" Renji picked his head up and looked at me, exasperated.

"They're my orders, Sayuri. I have to follow them."

"Of course you do," I spat back. "Because you're just one of their soldiers. The almighty Soul Reapers," I said, waving my hands in the air.

"You're one too," Renji said, taking a step towards me. I stepped back.

"But I'm not really, am I? Not fully at least. Because I'm something else, too. A monster." Renji rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Sayuri," he said, trying to get me to listen, but I was on a roll.

"That's what they think! Would it help if I just chained myself in the basement so I don't go around terrorizing the village at night? You wouldn't want me making off with your women, babies, and livestock would you?" My voice was rising and I was getting angry all over again. That ball of heat in the pit of my stomach was burning up. I started walking to the back room to grab my bag that was sitting under the table.

"That's ridiculous-" Renji tried to interrupt me.

"It is not! That's all I am to you all, isn't it?" I was yelling now. "Just some kind of dangerous animal."

"No, you're wrong-"

"Am I? Because where I see myself getting more powerful to be able to help protect more people, your precious Soul Society sees it as a means for me to grab my father's power and continue his legacy." As I scooped up my bag, I saw Renji's stained robe lying on top of a stack on pillows. I grabbed it and took it to the front room with me. Standing on the raised part of the floor I still wasn't taller than Renji. I still had to look up at him.

"So what have you told them already Renji?" I asked, throwing his robe at him. "How unstable I am? How I have daddy issues? How I zapped Ururu?"

"I've only told them what's been going on," he said, pulling the robe off his head where it had landed and wrapped itself. "All I do is objectively report, that's it."

"Ugh, but why!?" I asked, noting the tone of desperation now in my voice. I looked at Renji, and suddenly my anger was replaced with pain. "Why didn't you tell me what you had to do? Why didn't anyone tell me? They all knew. You know I wouldn't hurt anyone so why am I being treated like some kind of ticking time bomb-"

"Because of who you are." I stopped speaking completely. Renji was running a hand over his face. He looked tired and in need of sleep. But I didn't care.

"Who am I then, Renji?" I knew the answer, but I needed to hear him say it.

"You're one of them. A Shadow. And most importantly, you're Katsu's daughter. You want the truth? Here it is. The Soul Society thinks Katsu made you to use as a tool one day. That he might get some kind of control over you." He reached out to me again but I pulled away. I felt like he'd slapped me. No, I wish he'd slapped me instead. It would have been less painful. "It's just what they think." He finished lamely.

"But you're one of them too. You have to follow what they say," I said quietly.

So there it was. The truth. The Soul Society believed I had been bred to bring about some kind of cataclysmic doom. And they, the only true saviors of all existence were going to make sure I never strayed from the path and brought about that plan. Hitsugaya didn't have to tell me, but I knew that if I strayed even a little, whoever was monitoring all the data Renji sent in would be on me faster than I could blink. I'd end up in a cage somewhere for the rest of my life if I wasn't careful.

Urahara had walked back inside. I suddenly felt very small and very alone. A part of me had kind of figured the Soul Society would classify me along with the other Shadows as a potential threat, but hearing it actually admitted was different. It was as if hearing someone say it made the possibility of me being like the others, like my father, a much more concrete idea. Like it could actually, really happen. And the fact that it was Renji who said it made my stomach and chest twist into knots.

I could feel Urahara and Renji both staring at me. I needed to leave.

"Forgive me, Lieutenant, for speaking out of turn." I bowed a bit, mocking his title. Renji didn't speak. "I have to go home now. You might want to evacuate the city before I find a crack in the sidewalk to step on and somehow cause the whole place to spontaneously combust." I forced myself not to look at Renji. I kept my head down. My hand instinctively went to the chain around my neck and I felt it snap. Holding it out to him, I let it fall into his open palm. "Wouldn't want you to get in trouble for favoring the enemy."

I turned and walked out of the shop, feeling tears of embarrassment and fear, sadness and anger all stinging the corners of my eyes for the first time in years.