Note: Nothing new this time. The final chapter/epilogue will be out next week. See you then. Enjoy.
When the news was released, Republic City breathed a collective sigh. Overnight, the panic that had engulfed it disappeared, replaced with relief and a sense that the world would finally go back to normal. The official story was that the Hanzi Killer was killed by police during a raid at his hideout after resisting arrest, and his death was entirely accidental, brought about by his own wrongdoing. There was no mention of the Avatar, no specifics of what killed him, and only a name was ever released to the public, a lone clue to the Killer's identity.
Korra did not pay much attention to the news beyond that. She was not sure whether or not anyone managed to piece together the rest of the case, or if anyone even cared. She could hardly pay attention to anything anymore. Perhaps there was a swarm of journalists outside, waiting to hear a statement from her, or perhaps the Hanzi Killer would disappear before the week was out, as the deaths and the chaos vanished from the mind of the public. All she could think about was the woman behind the door, and the unending stream of doctors moving in and out.
Twenty-four hours. Twenty-four hours later, and she still couldn't stop thinking of her. She knew that if she stopped thinking of her for even a moment, then the memory would flood back, the guilt would return all at once and destroy her. Worrying was for the best. When she was worried, she didn't have to think; she simply had to feel. It wasn't difficult to feel at all. Anger and fear came to her naturally when they once seemed foreign, and she let those emotions in as she stared at the door in wait.
The doctor came out, and Korra looked at her halfheartedly. It was the same doctor who had treated their wounds for nearly a month, the same doctor that came out every few hours to provide updates on Asami's condition, the same doctor that Korra was sick of seeing, and the same doctor who probably felt the exact same way about her.
"She's doing well," the doctor claimed. "She's been stable for the past eight hours, and responsive for the past two. I hope you realize how fortunate it is that we got to her in time. Another couple of minutes, and she would have died from blood loss."
"She's talking?" Korra asked.
"Right now, its more of a series of gestures-"
"But she could talk if she wanted to, right?"
The doctor did not understand the question, but nodded all the same. Korra breathed a sigh of relief.
"And... are her eyes okay?"
The doctor cleared her throat. "Actually, that was what I wanted to talk to you about. Now that Asami appears to have stabilized, I would like to go over her injuries with you, and discuss possible treatment options."
Korra took a deep breath, and exhaled shakily.
"Okay," she said nervously. "What's wrong with her?"
"You, um," stammered the doctor, "might want to sit down. There's a lot to cover."
Korra followed the doctor's instructions, sliding against the wall and sitting cross-legged on the cold tiled ground. Korra stared at the doctor blankly, unmoving, as she rattled off the injuries in a cold, calculative tone.
Four deep stab wounds in the lower abdomen; caused by switchblade.
Multiple shallow slash wounds across her firearms and wrists; caused by barbed wire.
Comminuted fracture on the left humerus; caused by blunt object.
Oblique fracture on the right clavicle; caused by blunt object.
Amputated ring finger, separated at the proximal phalange; caused by switchblade.
Four crushed metacarpals on left hand; caused by blunt object.
Three crushed carpals on left hand; caused by blunt object.
Three crushed metacarpals on right hand; caused by blunt object.
Three crushed carpals on right hand; caused by blunt object.
Second-degree burns on her upper thighs; caused by boiling liquid.
Split lip; caused by blunt object.
Shattered orbital bone on right side; caused by blunt object.
Five broken ribs; caused by blunt object.
Collapsed lung; caused by damage to the chest.
When the doctor finished, she wiped the sweat from her brow, and cleared her throat again. "We've had our best healers taking care of her," she explained. "But it's important to understand something. When the body is as damaged as in her case, it becomes extremely volatile, and healing as we do when it is in that state can sometimes lead to further damage for the victim-"
"What are you saying?" Korra asked worriedly. "Are you telling me you didn't heal her?"
"Asami was healed as much as we thought was safe," stated the doctor, sensing the Avatar's anxiety. "Her case was one of the most severe I have seen in a long time. Her body and mind were undergoing unbelievable stress. We were concerned that if tried to alter her physical state too much, it would send her into shock, or worse, cardiac arrest. We tried to relieve her pain as much as possible, but it was a very scary few hours. The fact that she survived at all is a miracle."
Korra leaned backwards, resting her head against the wall, staring up at the accursed tile ceiling. She closed her eyes.
"I am so sorry," Korra said under her breath.
The doctor interjected. "Actually, there's one more thing that I need to tell you about. It's... pretty serious."
Korra shook her head. How much more serious could it possibly be?
"You know that trauma to the head I mentioned earlier?" the doctor said uncomfortably. "Well, it seems like what happened is that someone took a very heavy object and struck it across her face here." She took her hand, straightened it, and placed it against the side of her head at eye-level, showing the point of impact.
"A... a crowbar," Korra said suddenly, drawing from her buried memories. "I remember he said something about a crowbar..."
"Well, that crowbar broke directly through the skull at one of its thinnest points," said the doctor candidly. "The impact collapsed her eye cavity, crushing her optical nerve and causing the area to fill with blood. We managed to mostly restore the damage, but we couldn't save the eye; she's going to be permanently blind on her right side."
Korra shuddered. "Is that what you wanted to tell me?"
"No, not exactly," said the doctor. "See, Asami was already suffering the effects of a severe concussion-"
"Yes?"
"And the impact was hard enough to reverberate-"
"Can you just tell me?" Korra asked with desperation. "Please, no medical bullshit. Just tell me what's wrong with her."
The doctor cleared her throat. Korra waited impatiently.
"Asami has brain damage," confessed the doctor.
Korra stared at her as if she had spouted an extra head. "Brain damage? What do you mean she has brain damage? I thought you said she was fine."
"From the perspective that she'd otherwise be dead, she is fine," claimed the doctor. "As for the damage itself, we don't know the extent. We don't really have the technology to determine that. Considering the scope of her injuries, I would assume the worst."
"What exactly does 'the worst' entail?" asked Korra, sinking deeper into the floor.
"Any number of things. Memory loss, loss of cognitive function, manic or depressed episodes, inability to distinguish imagination from reality; we won't know the symptoms until they occur. No matter what, though, Asami will most likely need help with her daily life. Are you two dating?"
"She's my-" Korra stopped herself. She didn't know what they were anymore. Friends? Lovers? The words seemed so meaningless now. She could barely believe that her life expanded beyond this single moment, that there was somehow an existence she lived before, and an existence she would live afterward. "Yeah, I guess."
"Right," said the doctor. "We're going to let her get some more rest, but if you want, you can come in and see her. I'm sure it would make her feel better."
Korra opened her mouth to respond, but she froze. She did not know why, but her lips curled automatically, instinctively, to say, "No." She longed for Asami for days, but now that they were about to reunite, she could not bring herself to see the woman she loved. She could not bear the look of disappointment, the guilt of not saving her when she had the chance. A part of her never wanted to see Asami again, and that terrified her.
Korra found a brief reprieve from her thoughts, as Lin approached them from down the hall, scowling and bitter. The doctor wisely stepped back into the room, leaving the two alone. Korra had not spoken to Lin since she arrived at the hospital, nor anyone else for that matter.
"Lin, thank you for-"
"Do you have any idea how mad I am at you?" Lin scolded. "Seriously, do you have any idea how much shit I have to shovel through? All the details I have to scratch from the records, the facts I had to bury so the press wouldn't get them? It could have been the biggest victory for the force in years, and you went ahead with your own little tirade of vigilante justice. You denied justice to all the families of the victims that needed it. Not to mention the fact that you actively defied police orders. You should be in custody—No, screw that; combined with the other act of assault, by all accounts, you should be in prison. A part of me wants to strangle you right now."
Lin took a deep breath, and sighed. "You are so lucky that I care about you, Korra. And I am far more worried about you than the things you've done."
"Don't worry," Korra said. "I think I'm done with it."
"I hope you're done," said Lin. "I mean… bloodbending? That's considered a felony for a reason."
"That's not what I'm talking about," Korra stated bluntly. "I mean I'm done with bending. The Avatar State. All of it. I just can't anymore."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Lin asked, confused. "You're the Avatar. You can't give up on that and pretend like it's not a part of you."
"Why not?" Korra said with a shrug. "Most people live their lives without bending at all. I don't need it any more than they do."
"That's absurd, Korra," Lin groaned. "It's your job to protect the world. You can't do that without your bending."
"I killed someone, Lin," Korra cried suddenly. "I-I hurt someone… I tortured someone. And I wanted to do it. It felt good knowing that he was in pain. It felt good squeezing the life out of him. That isn't protecting anyone. That's abuse. That's… evil. I swore that I would never do anything like that. I was supposed to be compassionate. Always. And I did that to someone…"
"If it makes you feel any better," Lin noted, "Masaki probably deserved it."
"No," Korra objected forcefully. "No, he didn't. It doesn't matter what he did. Nobody deserves to die. If I start believing that I have the power to decide who lives and dies… how does that make me any different than him?"
"Because you're a good person," Lin stated. "You know that you're doing the right thing. Don't be so hard on yourself."
"Masaki thought he was doing the right thing," said Korra. "Everyone always thinks they're doing the right thing. But I know what I felt. I didn't have to do anything to him. He was trying to surrender. He couldn't hurt anyone else, but I was so angry, and so hurt, and all I wanted was to watch another person suffer. That is not right. That will never be right. I lost myself back there, and I never want that to happen again. So, I'm done. End of story."
The doctor peered her head out of the doorway, pausing their conversation.
"Korra," the doctor spoke in hushed tones, "if you want to see her, now would be the time."
Korra looked back at Lin, who gave a short nod of approval. Everyone's expecting eyes lied on her. Against her better judgment, she rose to her feet, and cautiously walked into the patient's room.
The first thought that popped into her head was how broken Asami looked. Her body was unusually pale, and bandages snaked around her, coiling her. Combined with the casts, she was practically unrecognizable, a nonmoving human shell. A portion of her face stuck out from the bandages and her dark, tangled web of hair: one green eye, which darted around the room aimlessly before locking its sights on her, and her quivering, broken lips, which curled into a half-smile upon noticing her presence. Korra tried to return the gesture, hoping that Asami would not notice its emptiness, and she kneeled beside the bed, gently placing one damaged hand atop of another.
"Hey."
"Hey," Asami said back, her voice nearly inaudible.
Korra was at a loss for words. She would have hugged Asami if not for the fact that the engineer looked like she would shatter under the pressure. The two of them remained quiet for a long moment, taking in the pleasure of one another's company. Then, Korra spoke up.
"How… how are you feeling?" she asked softly.
"I'm alright," Asami whispered. "It's all… a bit numb, actually…compared to before."
"Right. Right…" Korra said pleasantly. "Have you talked to the doctors?"
"Sort of," said Asami. "It's all pretty hazy, though."
"You don't remember what they told you?"
"It was… something about…" Asami moaned. Korra tightened her grip on her hand. "I'm sorry. I can't think of it now."
"That's okay. Take your time. No one is rushing you."
Asami sighed. She gently lifted her hand, and placed it on top of Korra's, her four fingers twitching lightly.
"Do you remember what happened before? Anything at all?"
"I… I think it… um…" Asami stammered. Her eye wandered up to the ceiling, and the rise-and-fall of her chest increased just enough that Korra took notice. "I-I w-was in a chair… a chair, and there w-was… t-there was this… I can't… there was—"
"Stop," Korra said suddenly. "You don't have to talk about it. It's not important anymore."
Gradually, Asami calmed down, and she snapped back to Korra, her eye wide.
"I heard what you did for me."
"What?"
"Those things he made you do," said Asami. "Those… trials, or… games… he told me about them."
Korra discreetly hid her branded hand from Asami's view.
"Why would you do that to yourself?" Asami asked. "I was so scared for you."
"He told me that he would kill you if I didn't do what he asked," Korra admitted shamefully. "Don't worry about it. You're the hurt one here."
"You didn't have to do any of that for me."
"Of course, I did. I love you," Korra explained. Her eyes traced their way down the rest of Asami's body, taking in every damaged inch of flesh. "This is all my fault."
"This isn't your fault."
"Yes, it is," said Korra. "I could have saved you. I had the choice, and I could have saved you. You wouldn't be—"
"Don't talk like that," Asami said sternly. "You did what you had to do. You saved someone's life… and I am so proud of you. I want you… to know that. More than anything else. I am proud of you for doing the right thing."
Korra stayed quiet. She did not tell Asami about Masaki's fate. Instead, she leaned forward, and placed a delicate kiss on Asami's torn lips.
"Get well soon, okay?" Korra whispered. "A lot of people are pulling for you."
"I thought you said no one was rushing me?" Asami teased. She laughed softly, using up the last of her energy.
"Well, you know me," Korra smiled in return. "I'm always rushing you."
Asami took a deep breath, and closed her eyes, trying to relax. Korra gave one last squeeze to Asami's hand, and quietly left the room, gently shutting the door behind her. Lin had disappeared back to the waiting area. Korra made her way back, as well. It had just occurred to her that she hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep in over a week, and all at once, it caught up with her. Now that the Hanzi Killer was dealt with, she had to think about what to do next, what direction her life would take. Yet, somehow, that did not seem important. Life could wait until tomorrow. Korra found the nearest chair, placed herself down in it, and fell fast asleep.