so this is a chapter that i have been mentally writing since i started this story way back when. it's something that i always knew was going to happen and while you may want to strangle me, believe me: there is a method to the madness. sayuri is stronger than we all believe her to be in this moment. she just has to realize it and truly become who she's meant to be. this is her second to last push to get there. it was also really hard for me to make the decisions i did in this chapter. but again, it's for the best. i love you all for your continued support (as does sayuri ^-^) and i ask you to please please pleeeeease R&R! i want to know what you think!
m
Disclaimer: I do not own bleach or any of its characters/locations/etc. I only own this plotline and the OCs.
Thanks for the follows/alerts/favorites: Avrae140, sweetpotatopumpkin, LinneaFox, alexismetoyer.1 (for some reason everytime i typed in alexis' name it wouldn't save it in my document so i had to take that first period out! sorry =[ i know that's not how it's supposed to look!)
Chapter 21
"Helloooo, is anyone in there!?" I felt a sharp knocking on the top of my head. The split second before I swung out my arm to clothesline the person I thought was Jinta, I caught a glimpse of the flowery apron Emiko always wore. Stopping myself mid-swing, I looked more like I was having some kind of fit and wound up knocking my spoon to the floor. A clump of egg flew across the room and landed on the floor with a plop. I stared at it forlornly as Emiko edged away from me slightly.
"I told you she was going to snap if you kept doing that," Isamu said, his quiet voice rumbling over us from behind his open newspaper. He sat across from me in the kitchen, his long legs crossed and stretching past the edge of the table. He had his ugly purple house slippers on. Emiko had given them to him for Christmas, and we both loved her too much to tell her how hideous they really were. It was a testament to their love that Isamu wore them almost every day.
"Sorry, guys," I sighed, getting up from my seat. I grabbed a rag and put it under the faucet. "Guess I spaced out again." Squeezing out the water, I knelt down and began to wipe up the blob of egg from the tile floor.
"Are you sure you're getting enough sleep, Sayuri? You've been looking awfully pale lately…." She kneeled next to me and placed her hand against my forehead. "Kisuke isn't working you too hard is he?" I smirked.
"No, no it's not work," I muttered. "It's...other stuff." I thought back to the night two weeks ago when Sho attacked me.
The cleanup had been relatively easy, almost nonexistent in fact. I had sat on the side of the house for a while after my talk with Renji. Once I had recovered from my realization that there was more to what he had said to me than what was on the surface, I had returned to the backyard. Everyone was talking in hushed tones and, as I came closer, I noticed that while a few of them stopped speaking altogether, the others' voices rose higher in a falsely cheerful way. But before I could pretend I hadn't noticed the change there was a rustling from above us.
A giant gate was suddenly hanging about two stories up in the air. It was round and two shoji had opened to reveal a circle of white light from the other side. Large black butterflies were fluttering through to hover above the gate. Men and women in black shihakushōs were stepping through, and falling lightly and gracefully to the ground. As soon as their feet touched the grass they were off, rolling up their sleeves and beginning to erase every piece of evidence that revealed a battle had ever occurred. I watched as they used small machines that seemed to vacuum up the black blood spattered around by the Hollows.
Urahara had come to stand beside me and told me they were a special group from the Soul Society sent to clean up messes or disasters caused by spiritual beings. As I looked around, I noticed how a larger group of the men and women had gathered around my house and, with hands raised, had begun to chant what I assumed was some kind of Kidō incantation. At a loss for words I watched as time seemed to reverse itself before my eyes. Chunks of the walls and roof that had been blown away flew through the air and reassembled, leaving no cracks or uneven lines anywhere.
After they had all departed with as few words as when they arrived, my friends began to disperse as well. Rukia had gripped my hand and squeezed it reassuringly before she left and Ichigo had placed his hand on my head and ruffled my hair, again congratulating me on finally releasing my zanpakutō (until then I had only been able to do it one other time during my training with Raiu). Eventually, Renji and I were the only ones left.
"Your parents are at Urahara's. They're safe. We'll have them back by the morning." He seemed to be trying to hold my gaze, but I felt my cheeks burning and kept averting my eyes. I just nodded and began walking towards the back door to return to my room. With my hand on the handle, I stopped.
"Are you staying?" I asked quietly.
"Don't worry. You won't even know I'm here." I turned around to see him launch himself into the branches of the tree on the hill. Feeling a sense of relief I walked inside the dark house. Before that night, knowing that Renji might be snooping around my house and watching me like I was a small child he was babysitting had been infuriating and had felt like a breach of trust. But now, I couldn't help but notice that I was happy he wasn't leaving with the others, safer even, knowing he was just outside where I could reach him if I needed.
Renji…always seems to be there when I need him doesn't he? I thought quietly to myself. Back in the present, I rinsed the cloth off under the faucet and stared at my reflection in the glass of the window.
"I'm alright," I turned around to face my parents and gave them what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "I've just been studying really hard for my math test, that's all!" Emiko walked over to me and stroked my hair. Tucking it behind my ear, she smiled, a look of worry still clouding her eyes.
"Well, just don't push yourself too hard, alright?" Isamu nodded in agreement and turned the page of his newspaper.
"High school is supposed to be fun," he added. I grinned.
"Alright, alright," I pulled my bag onto my shoulder and groaned in mock defeat. "Next time I'll only write one page of notes instead of three. Sound good?"
"Don't get too crazy now," Isamu chuckled. I waved as I slipped on my shoes and headed out the door. Before I got to the gate, I heard feet land lightly on the walkway behind me.
"Took you long enough." I turned to see a bored looking Renji digging around in his ear with his school bag slung over his shoulder. "Why are girls always late?"
"Sorry. I spaced out during breakfast," I told him, rubbing the back of my neck embarrassedly. Since the fight with Sho, I hadn't told anyone about my newly discovered power to drain the life from almost anyone around me. But that had not stopped it from being the only thing on my mind. Now my nightmares were sprinkled with sickening out-of-body moments where I watched myself siphoning the lives from my friends and family, leaving their bodies to litter the ground like discarded trash. I had been trying really hard to repress my fears in front of the others, especially Renji.
Not having him around so much, no matter what I was feeling, made me realize just how used to him I had become since we met. He was like a large rock I harbored myself to, strong and sturdy and unyielding. Without his presence I felt like I was barely floating above the surface.
After his speech that night, I finally accepted the fact that I had been acting like a child. Even though I had been so rude to him Renji had stayed in the tree, keeping an eye on me all night. And in the morning he had shown up outside my door just like today to walk me to school. I assumed from his continued presence every day since then, he had accepted my unspoken apology. Things were mostly back to normal, but neither of us could deny something had changed, shifted a bit in our friendship.
"Not surprising," Renji laid a hand on top of my head and ruffled my hair. "We're probably just going to make it." He looked down at his watch to check the time. Grabbing his wrist and pushing his hand away, I looked at him questioningly.
"You don't even have to go to school, so why bother worrying when you get there?" Before Renji could give me a smart-assed answer, the front door opened behind us and we turned around. Emiko was standing in the doorway, still in her apron and house slippers, holding a small bag in her hand. She smiled at us.
"Oh! Good morning, Renji! I hope Sayuri didn't make you wait out here too long today?" She beamed at him.
"No longer than every other morning," Renji responded, in a politer tone than he had ever used with me. Emiko had met Renji the day after our battle with Sho, when he started walking me to school. She had heard us semi-arguing on the front path, which was our preferred method of discussion it seemed, and come out to see what was happening. She had found Renji, holding my school bag high above my head, and me jumping up and trying to snatch it back. Since then, I had also been unable to convince her that that had not in fact been Renji's way of flirting with me, but just his natural inclination to be an ass.
"You forgot your lunch, Sayuri," she beckoned me over to her and waved the bag a bit. When I reached her and went to take it, she leaned close to me and whispered, "I put in some extra you can share with Renji too!" Grinning, as if she was the smartest mother in the world, she smoothed her hands over her apron, trying to rid it of invisible wrinkles.
"Emiko, I've heard that once you start feeding strays, they never leave," I said in a loud whisper, knowing Renji was listening. But Emiko was still not convinced she had misread the situation.
"Oh stop it," she waved her hand at me and glanced up at Renji. "He seems like a very nice boy, and he's not that bad looking when you get passed the tattoos and the hair-"
"Ok! Thank you very much, Emiko. We've gotta go now, bye!" I grabbed the bag from her hand and walked away quickly, pleading silently with any gods that were listening that my face wasn't as red as it felt. As I got to Renji who was waving at her with a phony smile on his face, I grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him along with me.
"You okay? Whatever she said seems to have you all worked up," Renji grinned at me as he sped up to walk beside me. I looked away, knowing full well he heard everything Emiko had said and was just teasing me again. Opening the lunch bag, I pulled out a few rice balls wrapped in plastic and shoved them into his hands.
"Here, she made these for you." Renji opened one up immediately and took a bite. Smiling euphorically, he started speaking, spraying rice everywhere.
"That woman is a saint!" I couldn't help but let out a laugh. He acted like such a child sometimes it was hard to remember he was an adult.
Seized by a sudden urge, I stopped walking and turned around to look back at my house. Emiko, and Isamu too, were both standing in the doorway watching Renji and I walk away. I raised a hand and waved. They waved back, Emiko also reaching up to hold Isamu's hand that was resting on her shoulder. There was an odd moment, as my wave ended and my hand slowly fell back to my side, that I was compelled to take in every detail of it. The way the flowers spilled from the backyard to the front and out past the gate. The curtains blowing in an upstairs window. Emiko and Isamu's smiling faces sending me off to school.
Something fell heavily on my head and I turned around. Renji lifted his schoolbag off of me and looked at me strangely.
"Now we're really gonna be late." I averted my eyes as he kept staring, feeling, not for the first time, as if he was prying through my carefully constructed walls to get at my inner most thoughts
"You've got rice all over your face, jerk." I brushed past him and kept walking.
ooo
Contrary to Renji's belief, we arrived at school just before the first bell rang. All through our classes that morning I couldn't shake the feeling I had earlier. It started as just a funny feeling in the back of my consciousness. But after a while it began to grow into something else. It was like trying to remember an important date or name, having it just on the tip of your tongue, but no matter what you did you could not recall anything. I kept looking out the window, expecting something to happen. Then it did.
Halfway through language class a cold fear gripped my insides, and I sat bolt upright in my seat. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and my arms broke out in goosebumps, even though the breeze coming in the window was full of spring warmth. I must have looked bothered, because the teacher suggested that I visit the nurse.
I avoided everyone's eyes as I stepped out into the hallway and slid the door shut behind me. I started walking, though I wasn't really sure where I was heading. The nurse wasn't going to be of any help I knew, so I let my feet carry me where they wanted. I wound up on the floor above, outside an empty science lab. Something shiny caught my eye, so I stepped inside.
The ceiling was covered in hanging mobiles made up of photographs. They had been a part of a project we had done concerning genetics and inherited physical traits. A few of the windows were open, and the late morning breeze was making the pictures spin on their strings. I walked across the room and looked outside. Below, a gym class was playing baseball, their shouts full of laughter and friendly taunting. Closing my eyes, I let the wind brush the hair off my face where it had broken free of my headband. I rested my head against the glass. Something's wrong, I thought. I don't feel right.
"Everything alright, dear?" a voice asked from behind me. Crap. I was supposed to be in class or the nurse's office, not loitering around in empty classrooms. I was turning around and beginning to come up with an explanation as to my presence in the lab, when I caught sight of my discoverer. My insides froze over, all the color drained from my face, and all I could think of was whether I could survive a leap out of the window to the ground below.
Katsu was standing across from me, leisurely resting against one of the lab tables. His black braid was hanging over his shoulder and resting against his chest. Its color stood out fiercely against the red of his sleeveless shihakushō. He was watching me with eyes that currently resembled embers rather than flames, but they nevertheless made me cringe.
"You look a little pale. Have you been getting enough rest?"
"How did you get in here," I asked, my voice much lower and frightened than I would have liked in that moment. Ignoring me, he continued.
"Mikio says you suffer from nightmares," grinning, he stared at me as if he knew he was the main star of all my dreams.
"How would he know that?" I asked, hating that my voice shook with unmistakable fear.
"Well, apart from your many lookouts, I too have had my more reliable subjects keeping me posted on your health and wellbeing. As your father, this is my number one priority." Despite my paralyzing fear, I snorted unintentionally at this, and a twinge of rage flitted across Katsu's face before it smoothed back into a fakely concerned smile. Of course he would have someone following me and reporting back to him. How could I not have predicted that? Mikio popping up unwanted all the time could never have just been a coincidence. He was my father's right hand. Plus, he could hide his spiritual pressure, so my friends would never have been able to tell he was nearby while he watched me. The thought creeped me out beyond words.
"Right," I said, taking the smallest step backwards toward the open window, "I'm sure there is nothing else that occupies your days except thoughts of me."
"Naturally," Katsu waved his hand as if this should have been the most obvious of understandings.
"It's not exactly easy for me to stay healthy when some nutcase is trying to blow down my house though, so, bad move on your part." Another step back. But this time, Katsu stood up and took a small step towards me as well.
"Sho acted foolishly and of his own accord. I disapproved of his actions and was planning on punishing him once he returned." I noted the annoyed way he spoke of his fallen subject. Clearly he wasn't torn up over Sho's death. His eyes raked over my face and a surge of sickening pride filling his voice. "However, you seemed to handle him yourself, and quite capably I might add." A weight dropped into my stomach. Did he know that I had inherited his ability to siphon souls out of other beings? The cruel grin spreading across his face told me, yes. Yes indeed. "Was it thrilling?" he asked, a slightly manic undertone to his voice.
I backed up quite visibly this time, bumping into the desk behind me. The way he had asked that question was horrifying. I had killed Sho. Sucked the life right out of him. Just the tiniest memory of that moment made me feel violently ill, but Katsu looked positively gleeful.
"I've done it then," he muttered, more to himself than to me. "I've truly created the perfect link between our worlds. With you at my side I could devour all of them. All who oppose me would grovel when they discover that we could easily extract the very souls that keep them alive."
"You're crazy," I interrupted his speech, afraid to hear where it would escalate to. Katsu had been looking around the room, but now his eyes slowly returned to mine. "I mean," I continued, feeling my voice grow stronger with every word. "I thought you were before, but now I know. You are honestly insane." There was no way I would ever help this man deprive anyone of the life they had been given, soul or human or Shadow. I had no right to dictate others' fates. And neither did Katsu.
"But we're family, dearest daughter-"
"Like hell we are!" My voice had risen to a shout now, but the blood pumping through my veins and thundering in my ears drove away any worries about someone walking in on this heated conversation. "You think that gives you a right to tell me what I can and can't do? You're no father of mine." Fire flashed behind Katsu's eyes now, fierce and uncontrollable.
"I created you. You are mine! And you will do what I command of you!" He gripped the seat of a stool in front of him and his knuckles turned white. I felt a thrill of fear as I realized just how angry he was getting, but a part of me (an insane part) wanted to push him even further. Wanted to make him squirm with the realization that he had come so close to what he wanted but would never have it.
"I'd rather die," I hissed. A roar of frustration escaped Katsu's lips, and the stool flew across the room, crashing into a cabinet filled with beakers and microscopes. He began to advance on me, kicking things out of his way. I narrowly dodged a lone textbook someone had left under one of the stools as it soared past my head. Because my back had been against the wall, I had to start sliding my way towards the back of the room. No, I thought, I need to get to the door. I can't let him corner me. I was walking backwards, tripping over myself and trying to get away from the hellish demon coming at me. He was getting too close. All he had to do was lunge forward and he'd have me.
Without thinking, I shot a bolt of lightning at Katsu's feet. Yelping with pain, he stopped moving and I pressed my back against the shattered cabinet, feeling a few pieces of glass stabbing into my hands. This seemed to have broken through his fit of rage, and Katsu now stood tall again, brushing himself off. His face was strained, and a vein throbbed in his forehead.
"No. That would not be…ideal. Your death would be pointless and most troublesome for me now that I have been discovered. No." He smoothed both hands over his hair, pressing back into place a few strands that had come loose from his braid. "You must live. Therefore, I will ask you one last time Sayuri," I cringed as he said my name. "Will you come join me and the rest of your kind?"
"You're not my kind," I answered simply. The corner of Katsu's mouth twitched. He took a deep breath and wrenched his eyes away from mine. Looking around the room, it seemed as if he was trying to convince himself not to strangle me. Then, he froze, and smiled smugly.
"That's right. You're part Soul Reaper. Silly bunch of useless weaklings. They're no better than the humans." He began walking across the classroom, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. "So caught up in these affections and relationships. All of that brings nothing but weakness. Mikio tells me you became quite agitated when Sho caused damage to your home." I shifted my body, always keeping Katsu directly in front of me. "That was, of course, what he believed at first. That you were angry your home was being destroyed. And then, it dawned upon him that it was not in fact the house itself that you were protecting." He had stopped moving and was looking directly upwards now at one of the genetics mobiles. Reaching up, his fingers closed on a single photograph and with a tug, he yanked it free. "You have come to care a great deal for those filthy humans you call your false parents, haven't you?"
A chill, colder than ice water, trickled down my back. It felt hard to breathe. What was he thinking? What was he going to do? I didn't answer him, but simply watched him as he began to step towards me again. He didn't get very far. Instead, he stopped, and looked up at me.
"How dare you replace me with them." His voice was pure venom now. "But, fine. If you are going to insist on continuing this charade, play-acting the part of the human high school girl, then I will have to remind you of the station you were born into. My daughter and the princess of Shadows. Your refusal to come quietly has forced my hand. It is really too bad that innocents had to get caught up in our little argument." He held the picture out before him. Two faces smiled back at me.
It was the photo of Emiko and Isamu in the greenhouse I had taken for my mobile. My report hadn't been very good, seeing as they were not my biological parents, but Emiko had gotten so excited when I mentioned having to include pictures. She made me go get the camera and tried a hundred different poses until I took a picture she actually liked. As I stared into their eyes, they began to morph.
Slowly, their faces stretched and blackened. The edges crumbled off as a small flame devoured the photograph. Katsu dropped it to the floor and began to laugh. He quickly stepped to the door and slid it open, then departed.
I fell to my knees before the burning picture, immobile and terrified. What should I do? Did Katsu mean he was going to hurt Emiko and Isamu? Is that where he was going right now? It was as if every terrible moment, ever heart wrenching, sweat inducing terror from my nightmares was suddenly coming to pass. Would I arrive home to find my parents, sprawled out on the ground and….
"No," I heard a quiet voice croak. It took me a moment to realize it was my own. "No. That won't happen." I looked up at the open classroom door, and one thought erupted into my mind and pushed all others from it. "I won't let it."
Jumping to my feet, I threw myself forward with a mixture of fury and fear that produced a brand new type of adrenaline I had never before experienced. My heartbeat was erratic and I was sweating and cold at the same time. I crashed through more stools and sent them flying in all directions. As I shot out into the hallway, I slid on the floor and crashed into the opposite wall. I pushed off hard and propelled myself forward. The bell was just ringing for lunch as I shot past several classroom doors that were now opening. Students were milling about, yawning and chatting absentmindedly. I hated them for it. Fiercely. How could they smile right now? How could they be so blissfully ignorant of the reality that surrounded them but they could not see? Didn't they feel the change in the air? The sudden all-consuming darkness?
As I reached the stairs, I hurtled around the corners and practically jumped down the entire flight. Crashing through a crowd of students, I heard lots of yells and angry shouts. But who cared, really? They would forget me in a few moments anyway and continue on with their day. I passed my classroom which was almost empty except for a few stragglers. Ichigo and Rukia were staring at me as I passed.
"Sayuri?"
"What's wrong?" They both spoke at the same time. The others turned to watch me as I hurtled by, not even stopping to explain. I didn't have time, couldn't they see that? I needed to get home, but when did this school get so big! I wasn't even outside yet although I felt like I had been running for hours.
Renji stood at the end of the hallway waiting for the others, and so he was the last to see me desperately sprinting towards the open window beside him. His expression went from bored, to confused, to amused, and to worried in all of about three seconds. He made a move to reach out and try to grab me, but I planted my feet, crouched down, and threw myself into the air. With my flash step as a propellant, I soared towards the open window. I felt the top of my hair slightly graze the frame, and then I was out. I didn't stop.
Calling upon my Soul Reaper abilities, I continued running in midair. Just as on the night of the battle with Sho, my spiritual pressure had reached high enough levels now that it actually could keep me suspended off the ground. I made contact with a nearby roof and then flash stepped to the next a few blocks away. I pushed myself forward, as hard as I could. I needed to get home immediately, before something happened to my parents.
I could see my block coming into view. Almost there, I thought. The ache to see Emiko and Isamu clawed at me like a wild animal. I needed to hear their voices and touch them, to prove to myself they were alright and I was being paranoid. They were innocents. They had nothing to do with this fight between Katsu and myself.
But that man was an innocent too, a quiet voice murmured inside my head. The one he killed right in front of you. And he didn't care then. Why would he care now? I tripped in my sudden hesitation and began to fall towards the ground. Grabbing onto a light post, I flipped around it and sailed over a fence to land just across the street from my house. Hurrying up the walkway, I stopped before I opened the front door. I didn't want to just barge in all disheveled and clammy. My parents would freak out and ask too many questions. Instead, I moved through the bushes to the front window. I couldn't see them.
The kitchen maybe, I thought, and began to walk around the side of the house. So far everything seemed to check out. Nothing smelled like it was burning, and everything looked perfectly intact. Perhaps I had beaten Katsu here, or maybe he decided that right now wasn't the ideal time to stage an attack. I came around the back of the house and headed towards the kitchen window. Climbing up onto a pile of unused cinder blocks, I peered in through the glass. No one. Where the hell were they? I stepped down and walked to the door. Placing my hand on the knob, I turned it and pulled it open.
An explosion of such force immediately erupted from within the building. It pushed out through the doorway, knocking me back and across the yard. Windows shattered and glass flew everywhere. Shards rained down on me, slicing my skin open everywhere they touched. My ears were ringing so hard I felt like my head was going to split open. For a moment, I could only just lay on the grass looking up at the sky.
There were shapes above me, long dark shapes and flickering ones as well. It took several blinks of my eyes and shakes of my head for them to come into view. The tree on the hill was above me. Had I been thrown that far from the house? Its branches were on fire, the small red and orange flames licking up the bark and jumping from one spot to the next, carried by the wind. The spring leaves shriveled up and dissolved into dust. Limbs began to creak and shatter, falling around me with thuds as they hit the ground.
I had to move. I had to get up. A branch was going to fall on me, but even worse, I had to get inside. Had to find my parents. Pushing myself up on my elbows, I felt the ground tip from underneath me. I turned over and retched into the grass. My stomach heaving brought feeling back to my body and helped to clear my head. I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and looked back at my home, instantly feeling sick again.
The whole house was engulfed in a blaze that reached up to the sky where it melded into a tower of black smoke. Shingles were falling off the roof, and the siding panels were beginning to melt from the heat. There was a huge hole where the back door had once been. Get up! I screamed at myself, Get the hell up! Get in there!
I got shakily to my feet and began to wobble toward the house. Blood dripped from where I had cut my hands in the classroom earlier, and a particularly nasty slice on my cheek. Tearing at my skirt I managed to rip off a small bit of the fabric. There was a watering can next to one of the flower beds and I dipped it in the water and then held it over my nose and mouth. Squinting as much as I could without closing my eyes, I stepped through the doorway and into the inferno.
"Emiko! Isamu!" I shouted, staring around the kitchen. Things were exploding, falling, and shattering all around me. The house's frame was groaning and every step I took felt like the floor could give way at any moment. "Where are you guys?! Can you hear me?!" I pushed on into the living room, but they were not there either. The heat was so intense sweat was already dripping down my face and back. I returned to the kitchen and turned to head down the hallway when there was a loud snap and a groan from above me.
Looking up, I saw a whole section of the ceiling separate from the rest and come hurtling down. I jumped forward, narrowly missing a section of the wallpaper that was peeling and burning quite ferociously. I covered my eyes with my free arm, and tried to ignore the flecks of flaming debris that singed my skin with every second of contact. Despite my wet rag, I began to cough, feeling as though my lungs were convulsing inside me. Tears were streaming down my face from the smoke.
"Emiko! Isamu! Answer me, please!" I shouted again, my voice breaking. A thought had just occurred to me that chilled me to the bone despite the raging hell around me. What if they weren't even home? What if this had been some kind of trick by Katsu to lure me here and kill me? But…hadn't he said he didn't want me dead?
A flurry of movement from a room up ahead distracted me, and I pushed on, avoiding the patches of flaming floorboards, wallpaper, and furniture the best that I could. As I reached the end of the hall, I felt my heart sink. Huge sections of the ceiling had collapsed here and were blocking the way. Furniture from the second floor had fallen through, so I had to start climbing. It was getting harder and harder to find a clear space to step with the fire spreading so quickly. I peeked between a dresser and a toppled cabinet.
There, pinned to the floor under what looked like tons of debris, were two bodies. They weren't moving.
"Emiko! Isamu!" I shouted, feeling like my throat was going to rip open from the amount of smoke I was breathing in. I pushed at the wreckage and struggled to squeeze inside, no longer caring if I got burnt. I had to get my parents out before the whole house collapsed on us. Suddenly, my skirt snagged on a broken piece of wood from what looked like the nightstand in my room and I couldn't move any further. I was lodged between a large grandfather clock that had belonged to Isamu's father, and a writing desk from the hall upstairs.
"Emiko! Emiko, wake up! You have to get up now! The house is burning we need to get out, come on!" I scrabbled around and found a half-burnt book. I threw it up and over the debris and it landed a foot in front of Emiko's head. To my immense relief, she began to stir. Her body was pinned underneath Isamu's. It looked as if he had thrown himself over her as the ceiling had come down, which he probably had. Isamu was a protector, and he would give his life for those he loved.
Emiko raised her head and looked around, dazed. Then, as if she suddenly remembered what had happened, she slowly turned herself around to face her husband, wincing and gasping in pain. She must be hurt pretty bad…. Her face fell as she saw Isamu and she lifted a small hand to his face where it rested against his cheek. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his. Tears were rolling down her face, cutting clear streaks through the grime and smoke smeared all over her. I felt hollow inside as the realization of what happened hit me. Isamu was already gone.
I let out a strangled gasp and Emiko looked up. As she saw me, a frightened look suddenly took over her whole face.
"What are you doing here?! Get out! Now!" I was so shocked by her reaction I just stared at her blankly. What was she saying? I was there to help her?
"No! I can get in there! I can get you out! We have to-"
"Your father was here," she said, a note of venom I had never heard before in her voice. She looked me straight in the eyes. "He told us everything." So that was it. Katsu had come and informed Emiko and Isamu of the monster that I truly was. The poor, helpless orphan girl was not even human and had supernatural powers that could destroy cities, even continents if she wished. That look of disgust on her face shot through me so effectively she could have stabbed me. My world, so carefully rebuilt, was crumbling around me, and one of the few people I had ever allowed myself to rely on was about to turn away from me forever.
"He's a horrid man isn't he?" she asked. I blinked.
"What?" I asked, stupidly.
"That man, your…father, if you can even call him that. He's a real bastard." Who was this woman, and what had she done with Emiko? I had never heard her talk about anyone like that before. Her voice had become so serious and rough. She tried to move a bit and then winced. I pulled on my skirt, gaining some confidence as I heard it tear a bit.
"Don't move, Sayuri!" Emiko shouted. "You need to leave. Just turn around and go."
"No!" I kept pulling. "I don't care what he told you, and I don't care if you hate me. I'm getting you out. That, at least, I can do." Emiko stared at me. I wanted to look away from her, but something in her gaze held mine.
"Hate you? No, you silly girl. I could never hate you. No matter what you did. No matter who you were or where you came from. You're my daughter." She raised her head in defiance. "That man told us many things. Whether they are true or not, I'm not going to ask because it doesn't matter. I know who you are. We knew." She gestured to Isamu's motionless body. "And we loved you for it. For all of it. Even the pieces you couldn't, or didn't want to, remember. You were everything to us. Everything we could have wanted."
"Stop talking like it's all in the past!" I shouted at her. "I'm going to get you out!"
"We are so proud of you, Sayuri." Emiko's voice was getting softer. I tugged harder and harder and my skirt finally ripped free. I was pushing through the debris, frantically making my way towards my parents. "We always knew you were a good person. And we know that you will always do the right thing, no matter what. You're not like him." I stopped fighting with the furniture and stared at my second mother. My second nurturer and protector and supporter. The woman who braided my hair and made so many sacrifices just to give me a home and a new life. "I told him that. I told him that you would never become a monster like him." I felt my breath catch in my throat.
"Emiko," I said quietly. "Come on. Try to get to me, we can get out." But, I somehow knew her answer before she even spoke. I had known it since the moment I saw Isamu lying still under all the fallen wreckage.
"No, my dear. We can't. But you can." She placed her hand on Isamu's cheek once again. Looking at him, she leaned forward and kissed his forehead. She turned her brown, eyes back to me. They were so full of what looked like pride and love in that moment my chest hurt. "It's ok." A sharp pain shot through my head and I reached up to press a palm against my temple. A throbbing began that made me fall back against the clock, it was so strong. It's ok. I had heard those words before, during a situation much like this one. But when? And from whom? My head throbbed again and I gasped in pain.
"Sayuri!"
"Where are you, Sayuri!?"
"Renji, wait! It's not safe!" I could hear shouts over the roaring of the flames. The voices were familiar. Orihime was there, and Rukia! And Ichigo too! My friends were outside. They could help get Emiko out! I looked at her imploringly, but she simply shook her head. The furniture behind me began to shift as if someone was shoving it aside and I struggled to get closer to Emiko, reaching out for her.
"It's ok," she repeated. "Go now. Before the fire reaches the furnace. Go!" She was speaking to someone over my shoulder. A pair of hands gripped me under my arms and yanked me backwards with incredible strength. As I watched Emiko disappear behind the wreckage, I began screaming and fighting with whoever was trying to drag me out of the house. I kicked my legs and swung my arms, feeling a thrill of success every time my nails dragged across skin. I shouted and cursed and fought with every last ounce of my strength to get back to my mother and father. By my captor held me fast, and soon we were back outside.
The sky was dark with clouds of black smoke, and chunks of the house were completely gone. I began coughing violently as fresh air raided my lungs, and my stomach heaved for the second time. My captor let me go and I vomited again, wheezing and gasping for air. The watering can was shoved into my hands and someone told me to drink. I did so quickly, gladly gulping down mouthfuls of cool water. After I was done, I turned the can over and poured the rest over my head, hoping to clear away the fogginess that was beginning to blanket my consciousness. I stood up.
"I have to go back in and save her," I muttered and began to stumble back towards the burning house. Someone grabbed me by the wrist and began pulling me across the yard, away from the fire. We moved up the hill to stand beside the tree which was now smoldering. Several people were gathered there. "Let go!" I twisted my arm away and spun around. Lashing out, I felt my fist make contact with solid mass.
Raising my eyes I found myself looking into Renji's face. He too was covered in soot and grime. Sweat tracks cut through the soot and the black band he wore around his forehead almost blended in with his skin. He was staring at me so intently, his gaze actually started to make my head throb even harder. Again I was slammed with the feeling of a memory just at the tip of my consciousness, but still too far for me to reach.
"I'm going to get Emiko." I started walking back down the hill when a second explosion rent the atmosphere apart. Renji grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me into him, his hand on the back of my head, pressing my face to his chest. We were both knocked off our feet, and I could feel several things hit us as we lay on the ground. My ears were ringing again and my head was painfully pounding now.
I untangled myself from Renji and sat up quickly. The fire had reached the furnace, and it had exploded. The entire house was engulfed in flames now. There was no way Emiko could have survived that. Pushing myself to my feet, I stood there on the hill looking down at my home.
My home. Just that morning I had woken up there. It had been warm and safe and mine. It was gone now. Disintegrating before my eyes. So were Emiko and Isamu. It had all been swallowed up by a fire. Just like the last time....
Another image of a house, much smaller than this one, began to materialize before my eyes. It too was on fire, and I was watching from a distance. That had been my home once too before everything had stopped making sense.
In that moment, something finally broke inside me. The world that I had thought I understood began to crumble around me, along with all my guards. All my walls. The walls I had put up that day in the hospital, held together with promises to myself that I would become strong, that I would learn how to protect others so that I never had to lose anyone ever again. The walls that had been fortified with the love of my new parents and the love of my mother, who gave her life for me that night when everything was swallowed up by fire.
Two moments had been hurtling towards one another in my mind for a while now, and suddenly they collided. A moment from the present overlapping a moment from the past. A moment that had been locked away inside my memories because I was not strong enough to accept that it had happened. That I had not been strong enough to prevent it. But now, as every bit of my mind seemed reduced to dust, that moment was freed.
I felt my knees buckle and I hit the ground hard. Voices were shouting around me. Bodies were running and commands were being given. But I couldn't understand any of them. Not clearly, at least. Arms slid under my body and lifted me off the ground. I looked up and two golden eyes looked down at me, full of fear and fury and an emotion I could not yet name.
"I've got you," he whispered softly.
"Renji," I whispered back. His grip on me tightened. It hurt a bit on the spots where I was cut and burnt but I didn't care. I let my head fall to the side, and the last thing I saw before I slipped into blackness was the blazing flames my father had sent to destroy my world yet again.