I've become the poster child for suckiest updating schedule. I wont even insult you all with an apology this time. But! Fear not! For this is the chapter we've been waiting to get to! Sayuri's flashback to that moment one year ago when everything began to fall apart. So…read, cry, scream, review so I can hear what you think! It's time to strap on your seat belts kiddies, the rides about to get very bumpy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters/locations/etc. I only own the plot line and the Ocs.
Thanks for the follows/alerts/favorites/reviews: The Other Owen, BlackArtWhiteVoice, Hilinarema, scottedog43, Quoth The Rose, Scarlet3Wolf12, skullchildforever, MJ, katty6900, Odislduna, ReadingRatherThanTalking
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Chapter 22
ONE YEAR AGO
"I'm home," I said to the empty house, slipping off my shoes as I stepped inside. Hoisting the grocery bag higher on my hip, I dragged the other one full of apples to the kitchen. Our house was small, only one floor, but with enough space for just two people. It had more of a Western feel to it, with an actual table for eating and doors on hinges rather than sliding ones, but I liked it just the same.
I put away the groceries and found a nice bowl to put the apples in. Placing it in the middle of the table, I smiled. There, I thought, looks pretty good if I do say so myself. I took pride in keeping the place presentable and decent. Mom's hours at work were always crazy, so I did all the cleaning and cooking. There were plenty of areas in Hidori where cleanliness was an added bonus most people couldn't afford, but our house was not one of them. It was my little way of setting myself apart from everyone else. I had never really felt like I belonged anyway, which the larger and more violent bullies in town frequently reminded me whenever we crossed paths.
I was heading towards my room to put away my school bag when I heard a scuffle from down the hall and a thud.
"Mom?" I asked. She was supposed to be at work until nine, but that sound had definitely come from her room. I tossed my bag on my bed and it slid off the end spilling some of my pencils and books onto the floor. "Oh, crap," I said, but left it to pick up later.
Stepping lightly down the hallway, I grabbed the broom from the closet. Granted, I probably couldn't do much damage on a burglar with a skinny stick of wood, but having some kind of weapon to hold was comforting. I had never really been a fighter like the majority of the kids who lived in this town. I was small and skinny, but fast. I preferred the foolproof method of a jab to the throat and a run rather than full skin on skin combat.
I stopped outside my mom's room. The door was closed over about halfway and, peeking around the frame, I looked quickly around the room. There was no one by the dresser; my mom's jewelry box seemed untouched and in its usual place. The bed covers were fixed in place as I had left them that morning, after my mother had almost ripped them completely off. She suffered from nightmares a lot and they had been getting worse lately. But, as usual, every time I so much as hinted that she should see a doctor, she'd get mad and leave the room. We didn't do doctors in our family for whatever the reason.
Mom had a lot of neurotic rules, like how I had to be home before dark even though I was already 14 years old, and how I wasn't allowed in the shadowy crawlspace under the house where we sometimes had to clean. But, despite those and many more stipulations, she had always been able to handle every broken window, leaky faucet, or fractured bone that plagued us, so I had never raised much hell over the doctor thing. But still, she was beginning to worry me.
Moving closer to the door frame, I looked around the corner. The closet doors were open and several piles of clothes as well as a few suitcases were scattered around the floor. Amid all the mess, I could see the back end of someone in a worn maroon bath robe rummaging around. Sighing with relief, and slight annoyance at the mess I'd have to clean up (mom didn't really do cleaning), I leaned the broom against the wall and pushed the door open.
"What are you doing?" There was a gasp, then a thud from inside the closet and a shower of stacked t-shirts rained down on my mom as she emerged holding her head.
"Geez, Sayuri," she breathed heavily, placing her other hand over her heart. "Don't scare me like that! You almost gave me a heart attack!"
"I said I was home. I got back a little late because Mrs. Yamori wanted me to take some apples." I sat down on the bed, picking up a few pairs of jeans and beginning to fold them. The old lady who ran the market loved me and always insisted I take some free produce.
"Don't you have cram school tonight? It's Tuesday."
"It's Thursday, mom." I looked at her.
"Oh, right," she said, not sounding like she really cared what day it was. She looked tired, the bags under her eyes more pronounced today than usual. And why was she still in her robe; it was 4:30 already.
"What are you looking for in there?" I asked, trying to peek around her. That's when I really noticed the suitcases lying open on the floor beside her, half filled with clothes and shoes. Three giant black bags that should still be stowed under my mother's bed. We only ever used them when we moved. And we had moved several times around Hidori as well as some surrounding towns here and there, but I never quite understood how my mother knew it was time to move on. Looking back at her, I saw her kneeling down before a huge black chest she had just dragged out from the depths of the closet.
It was covered in battered black leather, torn in several spots and stained in others. There were large chains wrapped around it, holding it shut. When I was younger, I could remember several times in which I scoured my mother's room for the keys that would unlock those chains, but never had any luck. The trunk was a constant mystery that I desperately wanted to solve but gave up on after years of fruitless searching.
"What's going on, mom?" Either she didn't hear me or was continuing to ignore me as she dragged it to the middle of the room. She whispered something under her breath and a loud click resounded through the room. The chains rattled to the floor. I sat on the bed feeling a mixture of excitement, anticipation, and strangely, foreboding, keeping my eyes locked on the big black box. I couldn't say why, but my mother was acting oddly. She never took that trunk out. Ever.
Lifting the lid slowly, her face looked strained and nervous. The air was suddenly still and the magnitude of what was happening struck me. I was finally going to get to see inside the trunk! I stood up and stepped closer. Inside was the weirdest assortment of items. There was a set of folded white and black robes, a pair of wooden geta, some books and scrolls that looked ancient and were bound in different materials, and….
"What is that?" I watched my mother shakily reach for the largest item in the chest and gingerly stand up. "Is that a sword?"
"No," she said quietly. "It's much more." She gripped the hilt and pulled. The blade of the sword slid from its sheath with the scraping metallic sound I had only ever heard in movies. My mother held the naked blade before her, her eyes full of an emotion I could not read. There was something strange about the blade. It seemed that the air around it rippled, like when heat bounces off the pavement in summer. Part of me felt compelled to reach out and touch it, but I was afraid, in some small part of my mind, of what might happen if I did.
"This is a zanpakutō," she said, and then suddenly shoved it back into the sheath. Securing it around her waist, I could see her face harden. She was done lingering on whatever thoughts and feelings the trunk brought with it. Turning to me she looked quite fierce. "There's a suitcase in your room. I've already started folding up your clothes."
"Excuse me?" I was yanked out of the weird dreamy trance the appearance of the sword had caused. My mom brushed past me to her dresser and started opening drawers and pulling out clothes.
"We should be done packing by tonight so that we can leave in the morning." I didn't move. The realization of what my mother was saying was finally sinking in.
"We're not really leaving though, right?" I asked, laughing a bit. My mother, ever the jokester. She said nothing. "Mom? We're not actually leaving again, right?" Still silence. A strange feeling suddenly bloomed within me, a hot kind of anger at the prospect of having to leave this home and the way my mother was acting. "But we just got here." I said quietly, trying to keep my voice from shaking.
"We've been here for eight years already, Sayuri. We didn't just get here." She wasn't looking at me. I watched her mechanically move back and forth from her dresser to the suitcase on the bed.
"But I like it here. I like my school and not all the kids are horrible for once. I don't want to leave," I tried to sound rational. My mother hated pleading. But still, she ignored me. "Mom," I said, wanting her to turn and tell me to my face she was about to ruin my life yet again. "Mom." I heard the smallest sigh escape her, as if she just couldn't be bothered by my obvious disagreement with her decision. The anger blazed, white hot and annoyed at being ignored.
"Mom!" I shouted. The lights dimmed slightly, the hums of the refrigerator stopped momentarily, and even the washing machine down the hall that had been running since I stepped in the front door sputtered and faltered. The air around me felt alive for just a brief second, and then settled back down. My mother spun around to face me, fear and a hint of anger all over her face. It was an expression I had never seen there before, and it scared me.
"Do not," she said quietly but so sternly it made the hairs on my neck stand up, "do that again, Sayuri."
"Do what?" I asked, confused. Did she seriously think I made all the electronics in our house stop even if it was for only a second? She's losing it, I thought. She's honestly losing her mind.
This was not the first time my mother had uprooted us and moved us to a new town. We had moved a total of eight times. Things would be going well, I'd be getting used to school and my mom would find a good job and then something would go wrong. She would see someone in town, or notice something in the house and the next thing I knew, my things were packed and ready to be loaded into the car and moved out. I could never quite figure out what it was that triggered this reaction in her, and every time I asked she just dismissed the question. This last move though, she had said would be the final one. We would be fine in Hidori. Safe. But safe from what I had no idea. I had been seven years old and I was just happy to finally live in a house with a dresser instead of apartments where we lived out of our bags.
"Just go start packing," she said with a sigh. The ball of anger inside me grew a little hotter.
"Mom," I said, as calmly as I could but my voice was noticeably shaking with anger now, "I'm not going anywhere. Not again." I saw my mother falter a little as she headed out of her room and toward the kitchen. She stopped walking but did not turn to face me as she spoke.
"It wasn't a question, Sayuri."
"So it was what? A command?" My voice got louder and the heat got even hotter. She was being entirely unreasonable. "You're commanding me now? Do I look like a soldier or something?" At this she spun around and looked at me hard, the expression in her eyes worlds away.
"No. You don't," she said, and then walked away around the corner of the hallway.
"Like you would even know what a soldier looks like," I scoffed, following her. "This is crazy mom. There is no reason for us to uproot everything and just leave." I could hear the pitch of my voice getting shriller.
"I don't have to explain it to you, Sayuri. If I say we're leaving, then we're leaving." She bent down and started rummaging through the kitchen cabinets and drawers. I didn't know what she was looking for and I didn't care.
My mother and I usually got on extremely well. She had been my only family for so long, and then my closest friend once I started school and realized that staying out of the warring cliques in schools was the safest way to get by. We were similar in so many ways that being together was as easy and natural as breathing. We had never really had many reasons to fight in the past. But when we did it was a rough time.
I had always had anger issues. Not even so much that I got angry a lot, but that when I did it was a terrifying moment that could potentially cause damage to those around me. All my frustration and anxiety and emotions would ball up inside my stomach and turn into the same knot of white hot anger I was feeling now. They would get bigger and bigger and fill me up until I lashed out. I punched a little boy in the face once when I was five because he stole my kick ball and made fun of my pigtails. I could remember feeling embarrassed and upset all at the same time, a lot to handle for a child. But when he came back from the hospital (I had broken his nose) there was a burn across his face the doctors said could only have been cause by extreme heat, like from an open electric wire or a fire. But all I had done was hit him. We moved for the first time after that.
From then on my mother had tried to teach me ways to control my emotions and not let them all get bundled up to the point where I couldn't control them. It was very hard for me to do. I realized that being on my own and not associating with anyone would be the safest way to get through life. So I didn't make friends. I didn't go to sleepovers or the arcade or out to eat after school. I didn't play any school sports.
It had been a long time since I had felt this frustrated, confused, angry, and upset all at the same time. My mother wasn't acting like her usual self. I wasn't sure what to do, or say. I was totally out of my element. She was being so unreasonable and ridiculous it was driving me farther and farther into my anger. What was she looking for in those cabinets? Why was she clanging the pots together so loudly? Why were we running again? What was going on?
"What are you so afraid of!?" I shouted. The lights surged again and my mother whipped around looking terrified and fierce at the same time.
"Stop it! Calm down!"
"Stop what!? I'm not doing anything!"
"Just close your eyes and take a few deep breaths-" she said coming towards me and reaching out.
"Mom, stop it!" I pushed her hands away. "You need to tell me what's happening!"
"Sayuri, please," my mother begged holding up her hands as if warding off a crazy person. It only made me angrier.
"I am 14 years old; I can handle whatever the truth is! Now tell me! What! Is! Going! On!" The anger inside me had come to a complete boil. It spilled over and ran through my veins white hot and burning. Every single light clicked on in the house, as well as every electrical appliance we owned. There was a sudden storm of whirring and ticking and the newscast from the television and music from the radio and beeping from the alarm clocks. The sounds grew louder and louder until they reached a deafening level, and the lights grew brighter and brighter.
I was frozen where I stood, watching and hearing it all as if from a distance. I felt different. Not myself. I was bigger than myself. Bigger than the house even, watching from above as everything piqued in noise and color and intensity. My mother seemed so small. She was covering her ears and screaming for me to make it all stop. But I couldn't. It was out of my control now.
There was a shrill noise coming from the light bulbs when all of a sudden, they all shattered. The power surging through their coils had been too much and they exploded. Glass rained down on us and instantly I was back on the ground, just a frustrated teenager again. All the electronics turned off or shut down, I wasn't sure. It was suddenly very quiet.
I was breathing heavily as if I had just run from one end of town to the other. My hands felt like they were on fire but they looked completely normal. I could feel my hair standing on end. I had the strange feeling that if I touched something, I would shock myself as if I had been dragging my feet on the carpet and was now electrically charged. I stared down at the remains of the light bulbs and felt completely lost.
I heard my mom breathe in sharply and looked up at her. Her eyes were no longer wide and fearful, but closed off and resigned. It was as if a veil had lowered over her face, hiding all emotion. Her eyes shot to something over my shoulder.
"Mom?" I heard myself whisper, afraid to break the silence. There was a sudden thud from outside the front door and I spun around to stare at it. Something heavy slammed into the door with a loud crash! My mother's hand flew to the hilt of the sword still hanging from her waist.
"Go get in my closet," she said quietly, never taking her eyes from the door.
"What?"
"Just go." I didn't question her this time. There was so much authority in her voice unlike any I had ever heard before that my body seemed to obey on its own. I jumped over the shattered glass now spread across the floor and rounded the corner into the hallway. Once I slid into my mom's room, I hurried to the closet, kicking things out of the way. I threw a pile of shirts from the floor onto the bed and slid the door over, leaving it open the tiniest bit so I could hear what was happening.
My heart was beating so feverishly in my chest I thought it was going to break my ribs. The cold sweat of fear was covering my whole body. Who was at the door? Why was I hiding from them? What was going to happen next? I pressed my ear to the closet door.
There was a very quiet muffle of voices and I could hear the slight creak of the floor as my mother moved through the house. I realized I was quietly whispering to myself, "Make them go away. Make it be the wrong house. Make them leave." My mom stopped walking, and the voices stopped speaking. I pressed closer to the door to hear what was happening.
BANG! An incredible crash shook the entire house and I stepped back from the closet door, pressing myself against the wall. There was a thud that sounded as if someone had fallen to the floor, and I prayed it wasn't my mother. I could hear scuffling as if two people were fighting against the wood of our floors, and several laughs floated into the bedroom and to my hiding place.
"This is quite a droll little place isn't it?" a female's haughty voice broke through all the noise. She scoffed and then something glass and heavy shattered on the floor. A man's voice responded.
"Yes, she's certainly dug herself a nice little den here, hasn't she?" His voice was more arrogant than the woman's, if that was even possible. The scuffling was growing louder, and I moved back to the small opening of the closet door. If I shifted to the left just a bit, I could almost see out and around the doorway of the bedroom. Shadows played on the hallway wall. Two figures were entangled on the floor, limbs flying in all directions. The woman intruder let out a sigh as if bored with what was occurring right in front of her.
"For goodness sake, Mikio, just restrain her already. He's almost here," the man hissed. A younger man's voice chuckled, but it was strained as if someone were trying to choke him.
"She's a slippery one," he coughed. "She'd give you…a run for…your money…Ren," he managed a few words in between his wrestling match with my mother. I hoped she was winning. You should help her, a small voice said somewhere deep in my mind. I want to, I answered back, but what good would I be in a fight? I've learned to stay away from fights not get involved in them…. I felt sick. But she's your mother, the voice argued back.
Besides my lack of confidence in myself, there was a stronger fear that kept me in the closet. Could my mother have known these people were coming? Were they who she had been so afraid of? Afraid enough to open a trunk she had kept chained up my entire life? Afraid enough to strap a sword to her waist? And then there were the intruders themselves. They sounded so sure of themselves, so sure that restraining my mother would be an easy task it was terrifying. Were they so strong that they believed she would stand no chance against them? My mother who had always seemed so sturdy, dependable, and fierce? If she couldn't overpower them, I certainly couldn't.
My mother suddenly gasped in pain, and the young man's laugh of victory echoed through the house.
"Got you now!" I watched as shadows that resembled tentacles lashed out from one body and wrapped around the other. It began writhing around and then fell to the floor and out of my line of sight.
"No!" I whispered, gripping the edge of the closet door. I felt as though something heavy had dropped into my stomach. I was breathing hard out of fear and strained my ears and eyes to understand what was happening.
"You took too long!" the woman hissed, "He's already here!" They all stopped speaking. My mother was no longer fighting back. She was lying still on the floor. Please oh please be ok….
The sound of heavy footsteps reached my ears and I shuddered. They sounded so gigantic, so loud and solid that I didn't even want to think who the newcomer could be. I could however guess that he was important since the others had all gone quiet and still.
"It's been quite some time hasn't it, Sakura?" The new man's voice was deep but eerily pleasant. It dripped with a poisonous danger I could sense from my hiding spot all the way down the hall and in the closet. The way he said my mother's name was unnerving. He knows her.
"Not long enough," my mother's voice rasped back. There was the small sound of a scuffle and then the man's cold laughter filled my ears.
"I see you haven't lost your spirit! Something I always loved about you. Good, good. Going down without a fight isn't very admirable for a Soul Reaper is it?" What was he talking about? What the hell was a Soul Reaper…? My mother definitely wasn't one. She was just…my mother. But something else he had said suddenly had me gripping the door again. Going down without a fight? Was he going to kill her? I had to go help her, I had to. I began sliding the door open as quietly as I could when the woman's voice spoke again.
"The girl doesn't seem to be here, my lord," she said reverently. The haughty man spoke as well.
"There seemed to be two spiritual presences a while ago, but after that large release of reiatsu, the second disappeared. Are we sure she would be here? I mean, there aren't even pictures of the child anywhere. Isn't that what humans do? Put their children on display?" The woman giggled and I wanted to choke her.
"Yes well, she's not quite a human is she, Sho?" the man, who by now I figured was their leader, said coldly.
These people were crazy. I needed to get to a phone and call the police. I rummaged in my pockets and then realized my cell phone was still in my bag in my room. Damnit, I thought, mentally kicking myself.
"No, the girl is here somewhere in this house." At these words I froze. Were they going to search for me? What would I do if they came into my mother's room? Could I possibly fight them off? With what weapons exactly, Sayuri? Right. Stupid plan."Sakura is as fierce and protective as a mother lioness. She would keep her cub as close to her as possible, especially if she feared we were on her tail. Wouldn't you?" I heard my mother spit and hoped it landed in the man's eye. He growled menacingly. "Find her!"
The strangers began tearing apart the house. Things shattered and crashed as they hit the floor, furniture was upended, kitchens cabinets were thrown open and rummaged through. My heart was racing now and the adrenaline coursing through my veins was starting to make me stupid. I was just thinking how quickly it would take me to sprint across the room, throw open the window and climb out when a low chuckling reached my ears.
It was the young man, the one who was restraining my mother. "There is a much easier way to do this, you know," he sniggered, jeeringly. I backed away from the door and pressed myself to the back wall of the closet again. What was he going to do? I slid down the wall to the floor, pressing as hard into the dark corner as I could. For a few moments there was only silence.
Then, something moved beside my head. I slowly turned and felt ice cold fear and panic clamp down hard on my whole body. In the sliver of light that was coming in through the crack in the door, I could see what looked like the root of a tree silently stretching out of the wall behind me. It came to a stop and I suddenly realized I was never going to get out.
"There you are, kitten," the young man's voice purred from down the hall. Before I could even react, the root wrapped around my waist and began to pull me backwards into the wall. Instead of feeling any resistance, it felt more like I was being pulled through a silk sheet. I felt my body slip smoothly through it, as if the wall had disappeared. Eyes wide I glanced around feverishly, trying to find something to grab on to.
I was indeed being pulled through the wall, and emerged on the other side in my own room. But, it was as if someone had put a very dark pair of sunglasses over my eyes. Everything was tinted black or gray and the sounds around me were muffled. My whole room was usually pretty dark by this time of day because my only window faced the east. There was no more sunlight streaming through them, only the dark blues of twilight and the coming evening. But this was crazy; this was a darkness I had never experienced before.
I hit my own wall next and just as easily slid through it. I tried to throw out my hands and grasp something, anything, but they moved through everything like I was no more than a phantom. I emerged finally into the living room with everyone else, and it felt like emerging from underwater. All of a sudden the veil that had been over my eyes and ears was lifted and the root encircling my stomach released me. I fell to the floor, hearing the derisive laughs of the intruders all around me.
I pushed myself up on my knees and elbows and looked around. My mother was kneeling on the floor, held in the grips of a bunch of green vines. Next to her stood a young man with shaggy, dark red hair. His tight pants and pointed boots were all he wore besides an open vest. His skin was tanned and there was a grin on his face as he looked at me that made my skin crawl. I could see now that the vines holding my mother were coming from his vest.
On the other side of the room stood a woman in a flowing blue kimono with long dark hair, and a tall, thin, blonde man wearing a gray robe. They were staring down on me, looks of triumph and slight disgust on their faces. Finally, I took a look at their leader. He smiled down at me, but there was no trace of kindness about him at all.
He was a big man, the muscles of his bared arms thick and hard. His exposed chest under his loosely tied robes looked unforgiving as well. He had dark black hair tied back behind him and strange tattoos running down his arms, but I could not tell what they were from my spot on the floor. His body was covered in scars that had long since healed. As I gazed into his face, a rippling of recognition began in the back of my mind. He looked…familiar. But I would have remembered meeting this man; he was so unlike anyone I had ever seen before.
"It's about time you joined our little gathering," he said to me. "Tell me, girl, what is your name?"
"Don't you dare speak to her you-!" My mother began shouting at the man and kicked out at her captor, who laughed as a vine wrapped around her mouth. Her stifled shouts could still be heard and there was anger in her eyes.
"Don't let you mother's frenzied actions dissuade you, child. Come, tell me your name." I looked from the man to my mother, but she was only glaring at him. Could it hurt to tell him my name? Could that give him any kind of power? Perhaps if I cooperated with them, it would give me time to figure out what to do. Or maybe I could negotiate with them! Give them whatever money they wanted and they'd leave us alone. In a quiet voice that shook much more than I liked, I told him.
"Sayuri." I could hear the woman scoff, but the man in front of me didn't even spare her a glance.
"Yes…Sayuri," a chill ran down my spine as he slowly repeated my name. "Stand up, stand up!" he gestured, but made no move forward to help me. I did so hesitantly, shakily, still keeping an eye on my mother for any sign of what to do next. "A beautiful name for a beautiful girl. It is very fitting, Sakura," he chuckled, glancing at my mother who flailed about again. "You have grown up quite nicely, Sayuri."
"I've never met you before," I managed, feeling how dry my throat had become. It wasn't a question, but a statement. I knew I had never seen this man and yet his face was so like one I had seen before. The way his eyebrows arched, the smooth slope of his nose, his cheekbones…I had seen those feature. But where? It was maddening.
The others chuckled at my statement, as did the man before me.
"This is true, our paths have never crossed. But that is because your mother never wanted us to meet. It was her cruelty that has kept us apart for so long." He motioned for someone to bring him one of the chairs from the kitchen that was now lying in the middle of our living room. The man, Sho, hurriedly brought it to him. I stared, trying to decide if he was crazy or not. "But of course she would have never told you about me. I'll go ahead and introduce myself then." He folded his arms across his chest. "My name is Katsu."
My mother started thrashing around and this time Mikio kicked her in the side. She gasped in pain, still muffled by the vines gagging her. I took a step towards her, and a cage of vines shot up from the floor blocking me from getting to her.
"Sorry, sweetness. No can do," Mikio winked at me and leaned against the side of the café. I looked back at Katsu who was watching my mother struggle against her restraints, a small smile of amusement curling the corners of his mouth.
"I don't understand what all the fuss is about, Sakura," Katsu said in a ton of mock disappointment. "You've had all these years to spend time with her, and I've had none. Surely you didn't think I would allow that? Every time I got too close, you would up and leave before we all even had a chance to sit down for some time together as a family." He frowned.
"You're the reason we've always had to move? We've always been running from you?" I looked Katsu straight in the eyes, realizing that was a mistake a moment too late. Crimson wasn't quite the right color of them, not even scarlet. They were blood red, burning hot as fire. I couldn't look away, couldn't pull my eyes from his gaze.
"Yes, my child. So wrong to deprive a daughter even the chance to meet her father, don't you think?"
At first I thought I had heard him wrong. The words he had spoken played over and over in my mind. Father?
"You're not my father…. My father's dead."
"A sad little tale your mother created when you began to realize my absence, I'm sure. But it was never true." He glanced over at my mother again. An icy numbness began to creep through my body. The hairs on my arms stood up again and I felt like I couldn't breathe.
"It's not true…it's not…," I whispered. He couldn't be my father. The man my mother had always told me about was dead. Long dead. He had died when I was a baby, before I could even form memories of him. Hadn't he?
I was so confused. My mother was glaring at Katsu with a look so venomous I was sure it would kill him where he sat. If it wasn't true and he was just lying, why was she so upset? Why was she so desperate to stop him from telling me? This man, this stranger…who was he? And in that moment of hesitation, a terrifying realization clicked into place in my mind.
I knew where I recognized him from. Those few features, so familiar, had been staring back at me from mirrors for the last fourteen years. They were my features too. His nose, his cheekbones…even the way the corners of his mouth curled into a grin were mine. It was an agonizing moment, but I couldn't help but feel he must be telling the truth.
"But, why would she-"
"Keep you from me for so long?" Katsu finished, and shrugged nonchalantly.
"Don't listen to a word he says, Sayuri!" A shout rang out from behind me. Turning I saw my mother still fighting against the vines, but her mouth was free. "He can't be trusted! He's a monster whose only goal is to use your powers!"
"OW!" Mikio shouted from beside her. "This damn chick chomped right through my vines! You're gonna' pay for that!" He moved to hit my mother, but Katsu held up his hand.
"Leave her, Mikio." His eyes were narrowed at my mother. "I want to hear what she has to say." The others looked nervous, and I watched as Mikio stepped back. He shot my mother a hateful glare, but didn't touch her again. "Now, Sakura, what was it you were saying to Sayuri?"
"Don't you dare speak her name!" She lunged forward and the vines pulled taut. I moved towards her again, but suddenly my foot was jerked from under me. I hit the floor, slamming my chin and looked back. A huge vine had sprung from under the floorboards and wrapped around my ankle. I glared at Mikio, but he just glared back at me.
"He's a liar!"
"Am I?" Katsu laughed; a cold hateful laugh that made me want to cover my ears and run. "Do you deny my being her father? Right here in front of her, will you claim that as a falsehood?" For a moment it looked like she was going to spit at him again, but then her face fell and she slumped a bit in the vines.
"No. I don't."
"Mom," I whispered. "What are you saying? Are you serious?" She looked up at me sadly.
"You were never going to find out. I was trying to protect you. You wouldn't understand. You're not a mother."
"We would love to hear the story anyway, my dear. As I remember, it was quite thrilling," Katsu purred from his chair above us. "There really is no point in hiding it all now is there?" From the look on my mother's face, she clearly agreed. After a heavy sigh, she began to speak, not raising her eyes to meet mine.
"He is your father. We met a long time ago when I was training to be a Soul Reaper," she hesitated for a moment. "Soul Reapers are in charge of managing the souls of the dead that travel between this world and our own. My world. A land of souls. Because of this I'm…not human." She glanced up at me and I was surprised to see a bit of embarrassment on her face. "Neither is he," she jerked her head towards Katsu, and continued.
"He was a soul, lost and wandering when we first met. I tried to help him cross over, but he was stubborn and was convinced there were things he had left undone in this world. That it was not the time for him to leave it yet. He seemed so confused and troubled; I couldn't just leave him by himself. So I decided to watch over him, to make sure he didn't get hurt." It was here that Katsu interjected.
"Yes, I was rather hopeless back then. I felt myself being drawn to this world, unable to bear the thought of leaving it. My attachment to this world grew so strong that soon I realized I was unable to cross into the Soul Society even if I desired it. I was stuck here. Our ways parted, and in that time apart, I discovered my true existence. I was a being who floated between worlds, neither in the light nor the dark. I was a Shadow, a being of darkness created by the light. The best of both worlds," he grinned at me and I pulled my face away to look back at my mother.
"When we met again he was…different. More confident, stronger, happier. I knew something had happened but for some reason I didn't question it. I was-" She broke off and in the slowly fading light I could see a blush heat her face.
"She was fascinated by me," Katsu continued. His voice drawled in an uncomfortable way. "I was quite charming, I do have to say. Even more so than I am now." He looked to his followers and they all chuckled appreciatively. Then he caught my eyes and I felt locked in his gaze again. "She fell in love with me." I felt my stomach tighten sickeningly. Looking at my mother, I watched as her body sagged even more. The face of shame she wore made me tremble in a mixture of fear and anger. Katsu began to laugh. I could feel the familiar hot knot in my stomach. What I would give to punch the smug smile right off his smooth face.
"But with the time that passed, I discovered that he was still changing. He was becoming strange and secretive, cruel to others and to me at times as well. He could…." She paused looking afraid. "He could suck the life out of people walking by on the street. Unsuspecting, innocent people," my mother whispered and closed her eyes, whether trying to remember or forget I could not tell. "And it was never enough for him, no matter how many souls he devoured, no matter how many human lives he stole. He always wanted more." She shot him a glare and her eyes shined with tears. "You could not imagine my fear when I discovered I was pregnant with you," she looked up at me.
"And you ran," Katsu spat at her, suddenly angry. "You never even told me she existed!"
"I took her because I knew what you wanted!" She shouted back at him, her anger returning as well. "I heard you that night talking with these bastards about your plan. You were going to use her to get to the Soul Society! You were going to hurt her the way you hurt all those people! You never loved me! It was all an act so that I would conceive your child and you would have a way in!" She was shouting so loudly now, almost screaming at him. Katsu had risen off his chair and was balling his fists.
"You disappeared and then I suddenly got news of a child's birth! She was mine! You had no right to take her!" A ball of fire erupted from Katsu's raised fist and burst through the wall into my bedroom. I screamed and covered my head, hitting the floor. The rational part of my brain was trying to come up for an explanation as to how that had just happened, but the hysterical side understood that this man was not human. None of them were. They were something else entirely.
"She's not a tool for you to use, you bastard!" I watched, terrified as my mother scrabbled to her feet, leaning back against the wall for support. I had no idea what was happening anymore, or what any of their words meant. I was so lost I almost missed Katsu's lightning fast steps towards my mother. The vines disappeared as he pulled back his arm and punched her in the stomach. She fell to her knees coughing and wheezing.
"No! Stop!" I jerked myself to my feet and ran towards her. Another vine shot up from the floor and grabbed my other ankle. Stumbling again, I turned over and watched the vines wind their way up my legs. I scratched and clawed at them, fingers beginning to bleed, but they were too tough to break. They began to tighten painfully and I gripped them with both hands. In my confusion and pain, I felt my palms heat up again like they had earlier. Mikio shouted in pain and, as I pulled my hands away, I could see two scorch marks on the vines.
"Damn brat!" Two more vines shot from the floor and trapped my arms. I was lifted off the ground and suspended in midair. I tried as hard as I could to pull myself from their grips, but they only tightened the more I moved.
"Keep her still, Mikio!" Katsu shouted. A searing pain erupted on my skin in every spot where the vines touched me. I squeezed my eyes shut and screamed aloud. My mother was shouting for me and Katsu was laughing. Opening one eye just a bit against the pain, I could see a strange purple liquid oozing from the vines. My skin began to prickle. It felt as if thousands of needles were being shoved through my skin. I screamed again, this time tears rolling from my eyes. It hurt so badly, my vision began to blur.
I felt myself suddenly drop out of the air and hit the floor hard, but the vines retained their hold on me. As I lay there twitching in pain, I heard footsteps slowly coming closer. I looked up to find Katsu kneeling beside me. I tried to wriggle away, but he grabbed my face and kept it steady.
"You clearly have plenty of your mother's aptitude for defiance. I did not want to have Mikio hurt you, but this is the only way I could get you to listen." I could hear my mother whimpering in pain and I struggled again. The vines bit hard into my skin and I stopped, realizing it would be pointless.
"I did indeed intend to create you, Sayuri, because you hold the key to what I want. You are the missing link, so to speak. The bridge between this world and the Soul Society. For years I have searched for you, but your mother was always one step ahead. Until tonight. Your little outburst earlier released an immense amount of spiritual pressure that we were able to locate easily." I thought back to when my mother was trying to tell me to calm down and relax, to not let my emotions get so carried away. If only I had listened, things might not have gone this badly. My mother wouldn't be…. I shook my head, feeling my lip tremble a bit as the reality of what was happening sunk it. We were caught by these maniacs. There was no escape. "Yes my dear," Katsu continued, "And you are going to help me get what I want. Whether by your own choice or by force, it is up to you." I shook my head more vigorously, though it didn't move much trapped between his rough fingers.
"No," I said. When faced with the choice, why would I trust this man over my mother? Even if he was my father, my mother had raised me and healed me and loved me all my life. She had taught me about good and evil, and in that moment it couldn't be clearer which one Katsu was. His blood red eyes flared and in them I could see that there was no hope for his soul. It was blackened by whatever evil had taken hold of him.
"Don't ever give in to him, Sayuri," my mother coughed. "Be stronger than I was and fight. Never stop. You can't let him win." Katsu looked up at her, his eyes narrowed. It was a few moments before his features relaxed again. An evil grin spread across his face and I watched his features twist maniacally. He let go of me and stood up.
"What inspiring words. But we can't have any more of this negativity poisoning her now can we?" He walked over to my mother again and I heard the metallic grating of a sword leaving its sheath.
I twisted around. "No! No please!" I screamed, rolling helplessly on the ground. This isn't happening. This can't be happening, I thought, terror pumping through my veins. I felt my body leave the ground. Mikio's vines had picked me up again and turned me to face my mother. He forced her to her knees as well, and wrapped vines around her arms. They were pulled out to the sides where she could not use them to protect herself.
Katsu examined my mother's blade in his hands, running his thumb along its sharp edge until a small line of red formed and dripped onto the floor.
"Nice and sharp," he chuckled.
"Go ahead," my mother snarled at him, her fight still not gone completely. "Kill me. There are others who know I'm here. That we're here. They will discover what you've done and come for you. They'll take Sayuri back. You stand no chance. I'm not afraid of you."
"Oh I'm sure death means nothing to a warrior like you. You told me that once, don't you remember? However, I don't think it would mean as much if you died by my hand, do you? I just don't think you would understand how dangerous crossing me truly is." I could see his eyes turn to Mikio. "I can think of a much more memorable way." He nodded to Mikio and held the sword out to his side.
My body surged forward, the vines ripping up floorboards as they moved me. They wrapped firmly around my hands and I could feel my arms reaching out for the sword. As I felt my fingers close over the handle a dread unlike anything I had ever felt hit me like a truck. No. No, this could not be happening. This could not be what he intended to happen.
I tried to fight, to resist, to stop myself from moving. But my feet were no longer anchored to the ground. I was like a marionette doll on strings, unable to act on my own. I brought the sword in front of me and held it out with both hands. The fire Katsu had started had spread into the hallway. The blade shined in the glow of the flames; splashes of orange and yellow and red poured into the room making the very blade seem as though it were on fire. It was pointed straight at my mother's chest.
"No!" I screamed, my throat burning. "I won't do it! I won't!"
"I'm afraid you don't have any choice," Katsu said coldly. He was staring at me now, his eyes dead and black. "We are your people, Sayuri. The Shadows. You will join us in our kingdom of darkness, because that is what you were created for." I strained against the vines.
"Go to hell," I hissed through gritted teeth.
"Very well." Katsu nodded to Mikio. The vines began pushing me harder, urging me forward. I couldn't dig my feet into the ground because I was still suspended. I could feel my body heating up, and could hear Mikio hissing in pain as he fought back against me. Good, I thought, I hope his whole body fries.
I slipped a few inches forward and panicked, realizing that I could not let my mind falter in the slightest way. The blade came to rest about a foot from my mother's chest. I stared into her eyes, frantic and terrified. Hers were calm and resigned. She smiled at me and I gritted my teeth harder, pouring all my strength into holding the sword still.
"I'm sorry, Sayuri," she whispered, just loud enough for me to hear over Mikio's grunting, the groaning of more floorboards, and the comments and jeers of the others. "I'm sorry that I never told you any of this. Who you are or the power that still lies mostly asleep inside you…. I thought I was protecting you, but I see now that I should have been honest."
"Mom, please," I begged, wishing she would fight back or try to get out of the way. But she was still and continued.
"You are so strong, Sayuri. But you can't even see it yet. That's alright. You will one day when you find something to fight for, just like I did. Something to protect. I promise that even if I'm not with you I'll be there to see it."
"Stop mom, don't talk like that. You're going to be fine!" My arms were growing tired; the oozing liquid was still burning into my skin.
"It's okay, Sayuri," she whispered, smiling at me. A tear rolled down her cheek. "It's okay. Let go."
"No, I can't!"
"Yes, you can. I love you. It's okay."
It was as if time was suddenly moving very slowly. Her leg slid out from under her and collided with my shin. In that moment, I was thrown off balance and felt my arms surge forward. Then, the volume of the world turned off.
A fountain of red spurted out around the blade where it pierced my mother's chest. It splashed onto my face and clothes and the floor. I could feel it, thick and wet and warm, sliding down my skin and mixing with the liquid from the vines. My eyes widened so much I thought they were going to explode. I watched the smile slip from my mother's lips, and the light go out slowly from her eyes. It felt like forever as I hung there, watching all the life leave her body.
I was aware of movement around me. The vines had released us both and I sank to the floor, watching as my mother slid down the wall. Her head sagged onto her now blood-stained chest and her arms lay limply at her sides. She could have been sleeping. She could have been. After what felt like an eternity, an anguish deeper than any wound, sharper than any sword clawed at my insides so fiercely I was sure I was going to be ripped to shreds.
My body fell forward and my hands reached out to stop myself from completely collapsing. I was on all fours, staring at the ground now drenched in my mother's blood. I could see my reflection in it. My eyes, half wild with distress, stared back. As the pain reached my chest it was like an explosion suddenly erupted from within me.
I began to scream, louder and wilder than I had ever screamed in my life. It ripped my throat apart and I didn't care. Everything went white. I couldn't see. I could only hear a pounding and a rushing in my ears. I kept on screaming. The heat inside of me that had been building all this time flew outward. I could sense it knocking, colliding with the others. The ripples of energy slammed into the house walls, charging through them and shattering the world outside with debris. Every electrical appliance in the house that had surged earlier exploded with bangs louder than canons. I didn't care what was destroyed. I was no longer myself. I didn't want to be anything. Nothing mattered anymore. I watched from above again as my entire house was engulfed in a flame hotter and larger than any I had ever seen.
With a last gasp of pain, I felt my body finally give out from under me. I hit the floor and rolled onto my back, staring up at the sky through a hole that had been blown through the roof. Flames were dancing all around me, and through them Katsu moved as if unaffected. I looked straight into his eyes. They were victorious and alive and full of hunger. Just as he was about to step through the fire, to reach out for me, there was a shout from somewhere not far off.
A huge serrated blade, shining in the firelight, shot through the air over my head. Katsu avoided it deftly and, with one last fleeting glance my way, turned and disappeared into the shadows.
Lying amongst the ruins of my home and the fire, I felt so tired. I was past crying, past sobbing, past hysteria. I just was. I felt nothing. I thought of nothing. I closed my eyes and prayed the fire would take me too.
The shouting was coming from closer by now, and I could make out several different voices. I was suddenly aware of being lifted into the air. Feeling as though they were now glued shut, I pried my eyelids open and stared into the face of a man I had never seen before. Things were getting very blurry, but I could tell he had a lot of red hair tied up at the top of his head. He said something to me, but I couldn't hear him.
We were moving again, and the cold night soon surrounded us. The sun must have set. We were moving away from the house, away from the heat. But I wanted to be with my mother, I had to get back to her. I struggled a bit but was too weak for it to matter. The man held me tighter, and I was momentarily reminded of the grasp of the vines around my arms as I plunged the sword into my mother's then beating heart. But, there was gentleness in this man's grasp that took me by surprise. His chest, against which I was now pressed, was broad and reassuring. He looked down at me and the last thing I noticed before the blackness around the edges of my sight covered everything completely, was the soft golden color of his eyes.