Disclaimer: I cross my heart and hope to die that I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

"You're hard to hug, tough to talk to

The only time you open up is when we get undressed

It almost feels like a joke to play out the part

When you are not the starring role in someone else's heart."

~Starring Role, Marina and the Diamonds

Chapter 19

When Seto awoke the next morning, he decided to try and go the whole day without thinking about Alistair even once which of course only served to make him think about him all the more, at least until Trudy's unexpected news effectively distracted him.

"I was collecting your brother's laundry yesterday when I found this," she explained, fishing around in her pocket for the condom she'd confiscated from Mokuba's room and holding it up. "I don't know how much authority you have over him, but I personally think he's far too young to be needing something like this and I think someone ought to intervene." Seto stared at the square plastic package, realizing that he'd never seen one before, though he knew what it was. "I mean, where did he even get this?" she continued. "One of his friends?"

"I supp—." Seto suddenly realized that the two people depicted on the wrapper were both men and he guessed (correctly) that Mokuba had gotten the condom from Alistair who'd probably gotten it at a club.

"Is everything alright?" Trudy asked tentatively as she saw Seto set his jaw in anger.

"I'll take care of this later," he said curtly, taking the package from her and stuffing it into his pocket before abruptly standing up. "Thank you for telling me, but I have to go."

He seethed all the way to work over Alistair taking the liberty of corrupting Mokuba.

Alistair decided after waking up the next morning to pay Darren a visit and see if he couldn't provide some distraction from his heartache, for by the time he woke up he knew that being so blatantly rejected by Kaiba had broken his heart. It was all he could think of to describe the heaviness in his chest, like a weight dragging him down.

After breakfast he called Darren.

"You must be psychic; I was just about to call you," Darren said after he'd picked up.

"What for?"

"I was out with the gang last night, sorry for not inviting you by the way but it was really spontaneous. Anyway, while we were out we met someone I think you might like to meet."

"Who?" Alistair asked warily.

"A girl. Her name's Moira. Apparently she and her family emigrated here not too long ago to escape the war. I told her I knew someone else who'd done the same thing and she seemed really interested in meeting you. And don't worry: I told her that you're not into girls."

"Wait, what?" There was a lot to process. Someone from his country? Here?

"So do you want to meet her? I have her number."

"Uh…yeah, I guess so." He had wanted a distraction after all.

"Cool. I'll give her a call and see if she has time to hang out today and then call you back."

"Ok, sure." He got off the phone with Darren and thoughtfully stowed his cell phone in the pocket of his jeans. Someone from his homeland…He wondered what her story was. It was very hard to leave the country right now, so the fact that she and her whole family could have 'emigrated' as Darren had put it, led him to assume that they must have been rich enough to pay to escape across the border. Still, even though they likely came from very different circumstances, it would be interesting to talk to someone of his same background. A few minutes later his cell phone started buzzing. He accepted Darren's call.

"Ok, so she says that she has some church thing until twelve, but that after that she could meet for a coffee or something. What do you say? Want to meet at my place in a half an hour or so to hang out a little before we go meet up with her?"

"Uh…sure. I'll see you soon. Bye."

"Ciao!"

Alistair tracked Trudy down to tell her that he wouldn't be home for lunch before hopping on his motorcycle and taking off towards downtown.

"Hey man, what's up?" Darren asked as he let Alistair into his and Britney's apartment approximately thirty minutes later. "You got here fast."

"I like driving fast," Alistair explained simply, taking off his riding gloves and stowing them in an inside pocket of his jacket which he then hung on Darren's spindly coat rack.

"I feel you. Do you want something to drink? I have beer."

"It's not even twelve yet."

"Suit yourself," Darren shrugged, taking a swig from an open beer resting on the coffee table. "And sit down. You always look like you're about to bolt."

"Sorry," Alistair apologized, taking a seat on the couch next to Darren. "So how's school?" Darren rolled his eyes.

"I had to let my prof take a look at my portfolio on Friday which always sucks because a professor's critique is always harsh, but this guy is a snob on top of that and has a very specific idea of what 'art' is which really puts me off so that even when he likes my work, which does happen occasionally, I come away from the situation wishing I could give him a good kick. How about you? How are things in Kaiba Land?" Darren laughed. "You get it, because that's what the amusement park is called?"

"Ha, ha," Alistair said dryly, the mention of Kaiba bringing him back to the exchange from the night before. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"That bad?" Darren's dark eyes were sympathetic and Alistair found himself telling him about what had happened…well, most of it. He left out a few choice details, but Darren got the gist.

"First of all," he started once Alistair had concluded his tale. "I am insanely jealous of you. That being said, I don't envy you having to deal with his personality, at least not the way you've described it."

"What personality? He barely let's me see it. Every time I feel like we're starting to be on the same page, he slams the book shut. It's so frustrating because I understand why he's being that way, I just wish there was some way to make him see that he doesn't have to."

"Did he have some other relationship that went south? You know what they say: once bitten twice shy." The expression reminded Alistair of Sewell and of how she was so skittish around people, undoubtedly because of how she'd been treated by them in the past and he suddenly had a flash of insight. As sure as he was that many of his conjectures about Kaiba's (Seto's) behaviors and moods were correct, he had missed the most important thing even though Kaiba had said it himself: I can't feel things the way you feel things, ok? I don't know how… Kaiba's only interactions with people seemed to be bad. There was the matter of Gozaburo being an obvious aggressor which had of course led to Seto being quite guarded and prone to lashing out at people, who in turn snapped back, ignorant as to why he was so ill tempered. There was Mokuba, but, if his cat analogy held any weight, Mokuba wasn't someone Seto viewed as a threat because he represented more of a kitten, something to be protected,

"Um…Earth to Alistair."

"What? Oh, sorry," Alistair apologized, realizing he'd spaced out. "What was your question?"

"If he'd had a relationship before you that went south."

"I don't think so," Alistair said.

"Hmm…it's a tough one. I mean, on the one hand you're living and sleeping with Seto Kaiba; no one would give that up. But on the other hand, if we ignore that fact, I'd be inclined to tell you to ditch him and find someone that treats you better."

"It won't even matter soon anyway."

"How come?"

"I'm leaving soon. That's how come."

"Wait, what?" Darren sounded dismayed. "Why?"

"I'm getting my pilot's license soon and then I want to go home to help out somehow, maybe even evacuate some people."

"You can fly planes?" Darren goggled at him, dumbfounded.

"Yeah. I was working for Doma as a pilot among other things until…until it got disbanded."

"You can fly planes and you never thought to mention it?"

"Why would I?" Alistair asked, confused.

"Oh I don't know, because it's insanely cool maybe. And wait a minute. Did you say you worked for Doma? Isn't that the group that tried to buy out Kaiba Corp not too long ago?" Alistair nodded and Darren whistled. "No wonder ole' Kaiba's being so hot and cold with you. You're cute but you also worked for the people trying to take over his company. I wouldn't know what to do with you either, hence: hate sex. Whatever happened to Doma anyway? They were set for a full takeover and then just fell off the face of the earth."

"Our boss died unexpectedly." It wasn't a lie, but it was far from the whole truth, though Alistair himself wasn't completely clear what the whole truth was given that he'd been soulless at the time of Dartz's demise.

"Oh. That's too bad. I would have liked to have seen Kaiba Corp under new management. Nothing against Kaiba personally of course, but everyone knows that big companies are bound to be rampant with corrupt, money-hungry idiots if they aren't shaken up every so often. Besides, even if the whole company went under, it's not like he'd be out to dry, just his lackeys."

"Could we talk about something else maybe?" Alistair implored him. It was all fine and well when he criticized Kaiba Corp, but hearing Darren talk badly about Seto's company was leading him to want to defend his honor.

"Yeah, alright. Let's talk about how you're going to fly me to Europe for all my vacations from now on."

"I will if you pay me."

"Yeah, yeah. You've been hanging around Kaiba too long, can't even pay a friend a favor." Again, Alistair found himself biting his tongue to stop himself from coming to Seto's defense. "So how does someone who's what, twenty, get a pilot's license? I thought that required a lot of schooling."

"I turn twenty next month, and I got lucky. When I joined Doma my boss, Dartz, paid for private lessons and once I could fly he started relying on me to pilot a lot of our flights."

"But didn't you just say that you're getting your license soon, as in, you don't have one yet?"

"Right."

"So you were flying illegally?"
"Yes."

"What kind of an organization was this? I mean, how were you able to even…?" His question died on his lips and another took its place. "Alistair, are you even in the country legally?"

"No," Alistair answered, realizing it for the first time. He wondered if Kaiba knew that.

"Jesus man, what are you going to do? That's pretty serious." Darren had a point. He had no license for his motorcycle, no passport, no identification of any kind. If he were caught, say, speeding, he'd be deported immediately. And come to think of it, without proper ID he wouldn't be let back in the country if he left. His stomach sank at the thought of never being able to see Seto again.

"I don't know."

"Couldn't Kaiba do something? Get you fake ID?"

"I don't know…he's done a lot for me already. He's the one who set me up to get my pilot's license which was already something illegal; I don't want to push it. Besides, he doesn't want to deal with me right now."

"If he cares about you at all he'll help you with this. I would."

"Thanks."

"No, I mean it," Darren insisted, looking serious for the first time. Alistair suddenly realized what Darren was trying to convey. The room seemed to shrink and get ten degrees hotter. "I joke around a lot, but I honestly really like you Alistair. And I know that you're hung up on Kaiba, and I completely get it, and I don't have nearly as much to offer you as he does, but I'd actually treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met, and unlike most people I know you actually practice what you preach.

My friends and I talk the big talk about how, given half the chance, we'd go off and organize protests against the world's injustices, but we don't. You actually took part in a movement that would have meant something if I understood Doma's creed correctly. And you're really kind. Don't think I didn't notice that when we go out you give all that money to the beggars even though most people just walk right past them. And now you want to risk your life going to help your country. You're incredible." Alistair looked into Darren's earnest face and wished that he could just forget about his feelings for Seto and say yes to Darren who he knew probably would value him. But he couldn't. He looked away.

"I can't, I'm sorry."

"Why? Because you don't like me that way, or because you're waiting for him to give a damn about you?" Darren asked hotly. Alistair thought about it. Would he have fallen for Darren were Seto not in the picture? He liked him, and valued his opinions, and they had fooled around together which Alistair hadn't minded, though he wasn't partial to Darren's fondness for rough blowjobs, but was there any kind of spark there? Alistair wasn't sure; there were too many factors.

"I don't know," he replied honestly. "That's a really complicated question."

"I can make it simpler if you want," Darren said, moving in as though to kiss him. Alistair scooted out of his reach.

"That's not fair."

"How is this not fair? It's a pretty damn good way to figure out how you feel about someone I'd say." He leaned in again. He smelled of beer. Cornered, Alistair reached out to push Darren away, placing both hands on his chest and shoving. The unexpected amount of force that Alistair exerted sent Darren sprawling backwards.

"No," Alistair said firmly.

"You're stronger than you look," Darren ventured after a pause, sitting up, laughing, and returning to his drink, obviously trying to smooth the moment over. Alistair chose to let him though he was still unnerved by it.

"I work out." Darren glanced at the clock display on his cell phone and started.

"Hey, we should get going if we want to be on time to meet up with Moira at the cafe. You gonna take your bike?"

"I was planning on it."

"If I give you directions, could I hitch a ride?"

"Do you have a helmet?" Normally Alistair wouldn't care since he knew that he was a good driver, but now that he was conscious of what getting pulled over without any kind of ID could mean, he wasn't as inclined to break the rules.

"No, but Britney has one for her scooter. It's probably a little small for me, but I'll get it on one way or another, besides; she has kind of a big head. Hang on, let me grab it." He returned a moment later with a bright purple helmet, looking dubious.

After telling Alistair how to get the university's student hangout and café, it took him a minute and a half of yanking, but Darren was finally able to force Britney's helmet over his head, though it left his cheeks so squished that he couldn't talk. Alistair revved his motorcycle up and slid forward on the seat to allow room for his friend. He opened the visor on his helmet and said:

"We're basically the same size, so I won't be able to hold us both up if we get stopped by a red light. If we do, you have to put your feet down too, ok?" Darren could do little more than nod. "Alright then let's go." He felt Darren's grip on him tighten as they roared down the street, the wind whipping past them. It was cold and Alistair wished he would have worn a scarf, but other than that, riding his bike was as exhilarating as ever.

They arrived at their destination a little under ten minutes later. The "café" turned out to be little more than a coffee machine in the basement of one of the school buildings with tables scattered around.

"Moira, hi!" Darren greeted a slight, red-haired girl seated at a table facing windows looking out at ground level on the dumpsters outside. She looked up from the book she'd been reading and bookmarked her page with a napkin.

"Hi Darren," she said back, looking not at Darren, but at Alistair as the two sat down opposite her, her grey eyes taking in his appearance from behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses.

"You do, you guys have the exact same hair color," Darren commented. "Wild. Right, so Moira, this is Alistair, Alistair, this is Moira."

"Nice to meet you," Moira said softly, reaching out to shake Alistair's hand.

"Same," he replied, suddenly shy, taking her hand.

"I have to go to the little boy's room. I'll be right back." Darren got up to leave, clapping Alistair on the shoulder as he did so.

"So," Alistair began uncertainly once Darren was gone. "How long have you been here?"

"Six months. My father won the lottery."

"The lottery?" She looked taken aback that he didn't know what she meant. "I've been out of the country for over seven years now," he explained.

"Oh. It's something that was set up by Robinhood."

"Come again?"

"That's what some of the rebels are calling themselves now. About two years ago they set up a lottery. Whoever wins gets help escaping across the border. They use the money they get from the lottery proceeds to help the family procure visas and a place to stay while they try to get their feet under them. My father bought a winning ticket a year ago. How did you make it here? Especially seven years ago when things were so much worse."

"Um…"Alistair wasn't sure how to explain the terms of his rescue. "There used to be an organization called 'Doma' and its' president, Dartz, found me while I was hiding in an abandoned house and brought me with him to California."

"So your family…" She trailed off, but he knew what she meant. He lowered his eyes and shook his head. "I'm really sorry." There was a moment's silence. "Wait, California? Then how did you end up here?"

"His work brought him here and his other employees and I came along to help and after he died I stayed here. I don't know what happened to the others." Moira had thought up until she met Alistair that her life had been hard, but hearing his story made her realize how relatively good she'd had it by comparison.

"You must have been from one of the really hard-hit areas." He nodded.

"I'm from the south. There was barely anything left standing for miles when I was rescued by Dartz."

"My family was lucky. We lived in the north where there wasn't so much actual warfare, but there were soldiers and tanks everywhere and we barely left the house."

"Could you tell me more about this Robinhood group you mentioned? I'm thinking about going back to help the relief effort; do you think they'd take me on?" She looked startled.

"You want to go back? Why?"

"I want to help. I've had it way better than the people I left behind. I want to give them the chance to live somewhere where they don't have to hide in empty, bombed-out buildings like I did." She saw the passion in his eyes and had to admire him.

"I could never do something like that, but I'm glad that you are. Things are improving, but the new government is still weak and there are so many radicals…Eventually maybe things will calm down, but in the meantime it was really wonderful to be able to leave even though we couldn't take everything with us. At least here I can walk down the street without having to see tanks."

"Could you put me in contact with someone from the group then? Do you still talk to them?"

"Yes. As an unofficial part of getting evacuated, we're supposed to search out places nearby that families that come after us could potentially relocate to."

"Tell them I have a helicopter."

"You do?"

"I see that you two are getting along," Darren remarked as he breezed back into the 'café'. Both redheads nodded.

"It's really nice to be able to talk to someone from back home," Moira said, smiling at Alistair. "Not that there's anything wrong with the people here in Domino," she added quickly. "But there are some things that only someone who's experienced them can understand."

"I know, that's why I wanted you two to meet."

The three hung out together for another hour before going their separate ways. Before they parted, Moira and Alistair exchanged cell phone numbers, and she promised that the next time she or someone in her family talked to their contact from Robinhood they'd mention that he was interested in getting involved and that he had a helicopter to sweeten the deal.

Darren struggled back into Britney's helmet and the two of them returned to his apartment.

Alistair had intended to leave him at the door, but Darren wanted to discuss what had occurred between them earlier. Reluctantly, Alistair parked his motorcycle and followed Darren inside the apartment building.

"I'm really glad you and Moira hit it off," Darren said, slipping his gray wool coat off. "She's shy and I don't think she's met too many people yet, let alone someone she can really relate to."

"She was really nice," Alistair agreed, acutely aware that this was not what Darren actually wanted to discuss. "She's going to try to help get me in contact with a rebel group that's been working to relocate people. Since Kaiba's lending me one of his helicopters I feel like I could be a big asset."

"Are you sure he'll even really loan it to you?"

"He says he will, and if there's one thing I've learned about Kaiba in the last couple of months it's that he's a man of his word. Even if he hated me he'd loan it to me because he said he would."

"Hmm…"

"Look, Darren, there's really no reason to be jealous," Alistair ventured sternly. "You're better than that. Besides, what are you interested in me for? Whatever happened to that guy I introduced you to, Leigh?" Darren shrugged.

"He was an idiot. I don't mind sleeping with stupid twinks, but I don't want to date one. I learned that lesson after Yamashita and I broke up."

"How do you know that I'm not just some stupid twink?" Alistair asked. "I mean, I jumped into bed with you the first day we met." He neglected to mention that that had been a direct result of his resentment towards Kaiba at the time.

"Oh I remember. You were so innocent back then. You didn't even know the expression 'to come out of the closet.'"Darren couldn't stop a grin from spreading across his face as he sat down on the couch. "I feel like I corrupted you."

"You did," Alistair agreed, choosing to remain standing. "But then, I let myself be corrupted so you can't be completely to blame."

"Since you let me corrupt you, can't you let me love you?" Alistair smiled sadly.

"I wish it were that simple, but it isn't. But you know that." Accepting defeat, Darren made a face.

"This just really sucks. There aren't too many good guys out there."

"You'll find somebody, I know you will. At the very least you'll probably find someone before Kaiba would ever love me back."

"Unrequited love really blows, doesn't it?" The intended irony of the statement was not lost on Alistair.

"It does."

Author's Note: Just to be clear: Alistair is not going back to his country because of Seto; this is for himself, something he has to do to be able to put his past behind him, Seto acting like a jerk is just making it easier for him to leave.