A/N: Coyo definitely keeps Leo on his toes. He needs more spontaneity in his life. LOL. Now to some somber stuff...
Duckie, Leo is as stubborn as Raph (just don't tell him that.)
Sciencegirl, it takes a long, long time for that guy to admit anything.

CHAPTER 18: REALITY

Sometimes, Coyolxauhqui forgot those outside the K'ekchi Tribe could not see nor feel Xelihuiyan. They were not touched by the Teo and thus did not notice the translucent yellow that tainted the heavens, let alone know its pale shade meant weakness.

"The Tonalquizca will need to reinforce the borders again soon."

Coyo sensed Huitzilopochtli stand beside her, yet she did not face him. "I know," she said.

"The trip should not be postponed much longer."

"I know."

"Periods between recharges are shortening."

"I know."

"Our Elders are worried."

"I know."

"…An Ozomahtli kidnapped Tlaloc."

"I kn—what?" Coyo jerked away from the yellowish sky to her sibling, who shook his head, saying, "I do pay attention, Teachcauh."

"Many would disagree."

"They are wrong."

"Are they?" Chuckling, Huitzi latched both hands onto his staff then slowly let his smile die. "What are you doing, Coyo?"

"About what?"

"You know that as well."

While true, Coyo would rather the matter go unsaid a while longer, so she turned to walk around the wall that surrounded her village.

"You took him to Intzalan, the gate of Ihiyoyahualli," Huitzi added behind her. His staff beat aside plants and rocks, perhaps in his haste to keep par with his sister.

"That matter is between Zaddir, Leonardo, and I," said Coyo over her shoulder.

"Even if you were not Chieftain, your acts would be considered treason. Zaddir needed permission from nearly all Quizzinteyo and our Elders to treat you. Your Mozallo has been a hindrance on both sides. Now, you ask her to treat another? One as damaged as you were?"

The woman bit her tongue in both a literal and metaphoric sense. What use would there be in fueling another argument? Neither sibling ever won. Besides, the last thing she wished to recall was the horror that Zaddir had helped bury.

"Listen, Coyo, please!"

"Why? So you can point out how unfit I am to lead as the Elders do? I understand that. I agree. Which is why you should—"

A thump made Coyolxauhqui spin with a gasp. She nearly tripped backward before she found her brother on his knees, his knuckles white around his staff and his other hand pressed against his bony chest like a claw. "Huitzi!" she called.

The man flinched when she knelt to touch his cheek, yet did not pull away. He seemed anchored by his panting, and Coyo's stomach tightened when he glanced up through matted hair. His eyes looked bloodshot, glassy, yellowed—a progressive step for the Omipalan Sickness.

"Coyo." Huitzi smiled, although his labored breath made him seem weary. "Please. If you avoid this any longer, I"—the man repressed a cough—"I will no longer be among the living to help."

"Do not say such things," Coyo croaked. Her jaw trembled when she stroked her brother's sunken cheek.

"Chieftain Coatlicue named you successor because even on her deathbed she understood the early signs," the man added.

"All the more proof of why I should not lead," Coyo countered. "I cannot do it. To sacrifice anyone, no matter how willing, for the greater good? To win battles? Be ruthless? I could never live with myself."

"You have no choice. We are at war. Unless you flee as our Calpollitopanaunt did, you must learn to make hard choices."

"Hard choices kill, Huitzi! I watched them strip Mantli of her spirit and Tatli of his sanity. I—I—" Coyo's dry throat cut her explanation short, and Huitzi gathered her in a hug. The act brought no comfort. His arms were so thin they felt like they would break around her and his clammy skin reminded his sister of their mother's last days.

"Teicu"—Huitzi's grip tightened—"I know it hurts. I know what you fear. But the reality is if you remain distant, if you tend to Leonardo more often than your people, we will fall."

"I lost Mantli, Tatli, Auitl, countless warriors," Coyo spoke into her brother's shoulder as she returned his hug tenfold. "Ho—how can I lose you too?"

The man had no answer. But he had a hold, and he used it to bring his sister close when tears spilled from her eyes.

Leonardo considered Intzalan as suffocating as the rainforest's Dry Season, no matter how many times he visited it. Maybe that was in part to the gate's similarity to an Isolation Tank—lightless and soundproof with an atmosphere like gelatin. But Zaddir worsened matters; her multi-layered voice left his mind raw, and her tendency to teleport through the darkness reminded the mutant of every ghost movie he had ever seen.

'You are uneasy,' Zaddir said telepathically. Leo's eyes followed her white-fire silhouette as she cocked her head. 'Do you require more time?'

"No," Leo answered. "I'm ready."

'Really?' The Languu hummed then twirled, the after images of her body creating a trail behind her. 'Coyo knew why I asked her to help you bond with nature. Do you?'

The mutant shrugged. "To relax me? Make me comfortable or whatever. But it's been a month. I'm—"

'Restless. Still, these things must not be rushed. To heal, you must reconnect with the world.'

"I'm fine."

'Fine and ready are very different things.' A strangled sound cut through Leo's mind as Zaddir moved several strides in the blink of an eye. 'Leonardo,' she started, 'I cannot help if you do not trust me.'

"I want to. I do. It's just…easier said than done."

'Like a voice inside telling you to run?'

Leo frowned. Of course, Zaddir would sense the doubt, and he couldn't help wondering if she heard Donald's heckling as well.

"I know next to nothing about you," he said. "Other than you and Coyo share a bond."

'Mozallo. Would you like to learn more about it?'

"You'd tell me?"

'Why not? If we progress as planned, you and I will share Mozallo as well.'

"Wait." Leo stiffened from his chest to his toes, eye ridges furrowing. "What's that mean?"

If Zaddir had a mouth, Leo was sure she'd be either smiling or smirking. 'Mozallo forms when a Languu and other being synchronize on an emotional and spiritual level. My kind lives apart from humans to prevent these bonds.'

"Why? I mean, if the Languu avoid Mozallo does that mean it's dangerous?"

'To traditional Quizzinteyo, yes.'

"What's a—"

'It is a vein, a root, to our Life Tree Ihiyoyahualli on Talkkik.'

"So they're like families? Clans?"

'In a way.' All humor within Zaddir's voice faded as beads of light flared behind her pit-like eyes. 'Before my kind arrived on Earth, each Quizzenteyo consisted of only one Languu.'

"I take it that changed."

'Our time amongst the K'ekchi has…expanded our curiosities. See, we are neither male nor female. Our genetics are continued through our Yolloyo.' The Languu gestured towards what resembled an elongated White Star inside her semi-translucent skull. 'Our Yolloyo are our heart and mind. When our bodies fail, we repurpose a life, reinvent its energy into a new form that becomes the Quizzenteyo successor.'

"Isn't that sort of like reincarnation?"

'The same life born anew? Yes, that is accurate. We recall every memory, from the first buds of Ihiyoyahualli to now.'

"But"—the crease between Leo's eye ridges deepened—"does that mean the same Languu lives forever?"

Zaddir shook her head. 'We are not immortal. We are, in fact, highly vulnerable.'

"Coming from someone who can reach inside another's mind, I find that hard to believe." The thick air inside Intzalan prickled when Zaddir rounded Leo, and the mutant massaged his tingling arms, cursing.

'Experiences change people, Leonardo,' Zaddir said. 'Each generation is a new experience through the addition of prior memories alone. Thus, we are always evolving. The K'ekchi, for example, inspired a few Quizzinteyo to split their Yolloyo like fission. My brother and I were formed this way.'

"You have a brother?"

'Had.' Zaddir gave no further explanation. Leo understood why.

"So," he started, "about Mozallo."

'I told you Languu are vulnerable,' Zaddir interjected. 'Where Earthlings see power, we see weakness. Our very existence is a constant struggle for balance.'

"How so?"

'We siphon energy.'

Leo felt his face pale, although he fought the urge to swallow. "Like Chi? Life forces?"

'We are not monsters.' Zaddir narrowed her pit eyes, yet her multi-voice shook. 'We draw little by little from multiple sources, so we do not kill what maintains us. Those who take too much, who become greedy or reckless or sick, are called Yohualli, the lightless. They consume everything until driven insane. They dim then self-destruct like a bomb.'

So they were exploding space parasites? Leo dared not ask.

'Fear of becoming Yohualli is what keeps us distant from mankind. If our connection to them is too strong, our balance is polluted by their over-emotional states.'

"Which is why you don't live with the K'ekchi, even though they've sworn to protect you."

'Correct.'

"So why are you even talking to me?" Zaddir disappeared as if a giant candle has been snuffed out. Her light reignited beside Leonardo—a hot yet soothing sensation.

'I believe the Languu can do more for others than not kill them,' she whispered in Leo's mind. 'I want to help, ebb your pain as I did Coyolxauhqui's.'

"Co—Coyo hurt like this?"

'Still does. Just not as often or badly. Would you not like that?'

He would, but at what cost? Leo met the white pinpoints of Zaddir's gaze and hardened his expression.

'Barriers will make this process much harder, Leonardo.'

"Know what's hard? Getting all the voices in my head straight."

Zaddir smiled, mouth or no. 'The numbness is wearing off, isn't it?'

Leo scoffed.

'I will not ask how that makes you feel. I will ask what step you plan to take next.'

"What do you mean?"

'Knowing what is at risk with Mozallo, will you agree to it? Will you open your mind? That was the purpose of my sending you into the rainforest, yet you hesitate.'

Call Leo cynical. What did it matter? Zaddir asked a lot from someone whose whole life had been spent in secrecy. To open up now would mean to let loose a floodgate that risked drowning him and he doubted the process would be pleasant or quick.

'You can never return home without facing the ghosts, Leonardo. Think of your clan.'

"How did—?"

Zaddir made a motion like she wanted to touch the mutant with her faded hand, although she stood, walking away. 'When you thought of them, so did I. You wonder how your trauma can differ so much from Michelangelo's. You had both been held captive, seen others die. Yet he healed with his family. He cried, was consumed by fear, felt paranoid about being topside. You? Below the numbness, you are angry. At the world. At your clan. At yourself.'

"Stop."

'No!' Zaddir whirled so fast she resembled a column of blue-white fire. 'You must face these things if you want the burden lifted. Or have you changed your mind?'

Leo kept his mouth pursed, thoughts dwelling on those in New York. Splinter and his poor health. Mikey and his forced smiles. April's struggle to keep face in the aftermath of her and Casey's separation. Hugh. Then there were the couples. Were Raph and Nia still together? Did Don continue to defend Melody?

Ugh, Melody. The mutant squeezed his knees.

'Damn that cyborg. That is what you think, yes?'

Leo looked up with a frown. "You're the one in my head. You tell me."

'I could. Just as easily as I could say a part of you—one that trusts Donatello—believes you should give her another chance. Not now, of course. After.'

"After what? You rape my brain?" Shit. Leo ran a hand down his face; he sounded like Raphael.

'You claim you wish to think straight again, that you cannot carry on as you have been. So face reality. Unless the issues are addressed, they will never be solved. In order to do that, you must let me in.'

"Let you in to do what?"

'Now you are asking the right questions.' Zaddir chuckled (in a way), turning towards the mutant with rounded eyes. 'We will relive memories together.'

"What?"

'Do not panic. We will ease into them over months; maybe speak with a ghost or two. Until then, you must realize what Mozallo will entail. You will share your darkness and I will find the light hidden in it. It will help you cope with the nightmares and hallucinations. But before I do that, you must find your anchor.'

"Wh—what's an anchor?"

'It can be anything. An object, a mantra, a scent, an act, a song—something that grounds you before a manic attack sets in. What would keep you calm when faced with the past?'

"I…I don't know."

'That is your next task, Leonardo. Then we can progress.' And so Zaddir disappeared without warning, leaving the mutant alone with his doubts in the darkness.