Dun dun dun! But still not mine! :-)

.::5

There was a collective gasp as all heads in the room swiveled in Shelly's direction. She felt as if all the air was sucked out of the room. And then she saw House close his eyes for a moment before struggling to his feet. He made his way over to the piano and gestured with his cane down the hall. "I would just like a word with you for a moment. If you don't mind."

Still numb, but with her veins throbbing with adrenaline, Shelly followed House down the hallway and into his bedroom where he shut the door behind them. Her eyes glanced over the room in the dim light filtering through the blinds. The unmade bed, the sweating glass of water joining the Vicodin bottles on the nightstand, the journals and clothing scattered on the floor. But no pictures, no personal effects. Shelly thought it was a good representation of how empty his life was. Only his work and his pills for company. She avoided his eyes as he paced, and searched for something to fix her gaze on when he suddenly spun and gripped her upper arms with a strength that belied his sickly state.

"I'm sorry. Let me hear what you said again. Because to me it sounded like you just said I had a daughter."

Shelly didn't say anything for a moment, but just looked deep into his eyes. Anger - well, she expected that - fear, disgust, distrust, and was that...hope? She read all the emotions in a matter of seconds before she wet her lips and replied.

"Diedre Blythe Jainchill. Born September 19th, 1993. 6lbs 8oz, and 21 inches long. She got a 9, 9, on her Apgar. You would have been proud of her." Shelly's attempt at levity fell flat, but House released her to stumble backwards and sit on the bed. He looked as if he was struck dumb, but Shelly still tread carefully. Knowing full well that the lion inside could rise up at any moment. "Do you remember the in the fall, when we met again?"

By the look on his face she could tell he was remembering, going back in time and space to that fateful day they bumped back into each other. It was after she had finished picking up the pieces from Randall. New condo, new town, and looking for a new job. There was a bright young oncologist who was extremely interested in asking about her work from back in her CHOP days, and so she was loaded up with her guitar and a folder full of reviews and newspaper articles about music therapy when she was literally slammed into by some young kid running full speed towards the clinic of PPTH. Guitar case and papers flew everywhere, and after scrambling to retrieve everything before the autumn breeze took it away, she was face to face with Greg. He was holding the puny punk by his scruff and demanding he apologize to her, the boy so terrified she almost laughed instead of feeling angry with the kid. And after House released his prisoner they did laugh together, and exclaim over how long it had been and how great the other one looked. When she mentioned her appointment with James Wilson he had just cryptically raised the corners of his mouth and clapped her on the back. He was sure she'd knock him dead.

It was only after the interview that she understood his reaction. Young Doctor Wilson was fresh out of his second marriage and very impressed with Shelly, professional and otherwise. When House sought her out before she went back home, Shelly was sure to punch him in the arm for not warning her.

"You let me walk into the lion's den! Some friend you are!"

"I'm sorry Shell. He's usually such a gentleman, and entirely harmless," House had laughed as she threw her things into her car.

"Well, I guess I'll find out soon enough."

"He hired you?"

"Not yet. But he wanted to know if he could call me sometime, maybe take me to dinner."

"Not a chance," House had responded confidently.

"And what makes you so sure?"

"He wants to take you to our Harvest Fundraiser, but I'm going to ask you first."

"You are, huh?"

"Yes. Ms. Jainchill, would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the Harvest Fundraiser next Friday evening?" House had asked affecting a mock formal air and giving a slight bow.

Shelly couldn't help from laughing out loud and finally acquiesced with just a nod of her head, causing House to adopted an injured look. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yes. I'd be delighted."

"Good, here. Here's my numbers," he hurriedly scribbled on her parking stub as his pager went off. "Give me a call tomorrow and we can do lunch if you're not busy. I want to hear about this Peter Piper gig you've got going. I gotta run, Shell."

And he was gone, loping back into the hospital with that long stride of his.

"We went to that fundraiser in October, together," House finally uttered from his spot on the bed, his memories finally catching up with hers. "You wore that dress with the panel in it," he gestured to his side for lack of a better description and Shelly bit back a smile.

The night of the Harvest Fundraiser she made damn sure House wouldn't be looking at her as just a "friend" and wore a red crushed velvet dress that had a see-through panel running from above her breasts down the length of her side to her hip. She had never danced with so many men in her life, but it had been worth it when Greg had finally announced he had enough and practically dragged her out of the venue and all the way home. The sex that night was everything Shelly dreamed it would be with him. And so they started dating, casually. Not consistent enough that Shelly thought he was being exclusive, but they appeared at every hospital function together. And Shelly never remembered a time in her life she enjoyed more. But she always knew it wouldn't last.

House was looking at her intently now, his brain working as the details slid into place. "So it was December, then. Or January. And then you went away."

New Years Eve was the last night they spent together. Shelly had to fly to the west coast for a training after that, and came home with a bug she just couldn't shake. She and Greg played phone tag for months but kept missing each other. It was April before she finally went to see a doctor, and by then he was confirming what Shelly already suspected. Her "bug" would be with her the rest of her life. Facing Greg was impossible. He had always said off-handedly that he never wanted to have kids. Compounded with the fact that when she finally got him on the phone he was on Cloud 9, going on and on about a lawyer he had met named Stacy. They made plans for dinner, and when House showed up with his new lady on his arm, that cinched it for Shelly. There was no way she could tell him then. He was so happy and in love.

"I called when I found out. We made plans to go out, to have dinner. I was going to tell you."

"But I showed up with Stacy."

"Yes, and I..."

"You what?" House spat bitterly, his anger finally starting to rise. "You chickened out? Decided to spare me? Let me experience true love? Did you see what she did to me?" House struggled to stand up and push down his sweatpants to reveal the scar he bore as the result of loving so deeply, but either his legs wouldn't cooperate or he was moving too fast for his swollen abdomen to handle because it was he who fell towards the floor instead of his pants, and Shelly made a mad dash to grab him. Pushing him back towards the bed, she just acquiesced when he roughly shoved her helping hands from his arms. She stood mutely as he then threw his cane across the room and against the wall.
He's allowed to be angry, she thought to herself, but to hell with him blaming me for what Stacy did.

She could hear the movements and shuffling of the other crew in the living room at House's outburst.

"Feel better now?" Shelly asked calmly to the motionless reclined figure with his arm flung over his eyes. When he made no response she just settled next to him on the bed and continued. "Yes, I guess you're right. I chickened out. But I told myself it was for a noble reason. I believed it was so you could experience love. And you did with Stacy. At least for some time. What happened between you, with your leg, I'm not going to take the blame for what happened with that. If you had been with me, with us, there isn't any guarantee you'd be in any better shape than you are now, Greg." She looked down to see that his arm had moved to his forehead, and his eyes were fixed somewhere around the crown molding on the ceiling. "Sometimes, most times, loving someone means you get hurt. Its just that with most people, they don't get to bear the scars of their love like you do. On the outside."

Wilson chose that time to poke his head into the room. He looked a little relieved to see that both of them were still alive and not bleeding, but one steely glare from House and the door was shut and they were left alone again.

"Don't be such a fucking martyr, Shelly. You were scared shitless and thought you would get away with it. You pretty much HAVE gotten away with it. She's what now, 16? Does she even know I exist or did you paint me out to be a little wham-bam-thank you m'aam?" House struggled to sit up on his arms and face her and she could see his face darkening at his next realization. "So how long has James known about this? And were you two ever going to decide to tell me or did you not think I was man enough to ever find out?"

Shelly might have made a clean getaway, if it hadn't been for Wilson. She had been doing a special summer therapy group back at CHOP while heading into her 7th month of pregnancy. When the children dispersed after the last song and left the oncologist staring disbelievingly at her swollen midsection, Shelly thought she was going to have a panic attack. She shook the memory away and answered him with more calm than she felt.

"I decided early on that I was going to tell you whenever Diedre was ready. Knowing how you always felt about kids, I wanted to make sure she wouldn't be completely crushed if you rejected or rebuffed her. But yes, she does know who you are. I've even snuck her into a few of your lectures when she was younger, just so she could see you at work. James finding out was completely an accident, but he respected my wishes on when to tell you."

"Of course he did. My friend should always hold the respects and wishes of other people over my own."

Shelly finally riled at the bitterness in his tone. "You should feel like the luckiest sonovabitch alive to have a friend like James, Greg, so get over it. Someone who has seen you make countless major mistakes and refuses to rub your nose in it, but instead tries to help you by contacting the mother of your illegitimate daughter who you didn't even know existed." She paused to take a deep breath and settle herself before she continued in a more even tone. "Now, I know you have every right to be angry with me, but be angry with ME then, not everyone else. The way I see it, you can either take the fucking help and live for another 30 years, or you can sit there and stew at me for every reason in the world until it makes you feel better as you lie dying in bed. James knows how to reach me when you make up your mind."

Saying her piece, Shelly got up and left the bedroom. When she emerged into the living room full of expectant faces, she merely fished her key out of her pocket and then turned towards James. "He's thinking it over," she stated, and then turned and left the apartment for the safety of her car. Shelly made it three blocks before she had to pull over again so she could burst into tears.

-tbc