Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.

This story will eventually have a HEA, so please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised.

Thank you to carolinecullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you!

Six years ago…..

I can still remember the day Renee showed up and decided to play mom, it still feels like yesterday to me. It was the summer before I was going to start middle school. She came waltzing into Grandma and Papa's house just like every other time before and I figured she would stay for a couple hours and disappear. It was always the same pretend she cared, then take off again like she always did.

When I was younger, I hung on her every word believing everything she would tell me. I always anticipated her arrival and would wait outside in the plum tree. Grandma only allowed me to climb on the days she said she was going to come to see me or pick me up to stay at her place. I learned real fast not to count on her.

I had lived with my grandparents since I was born. I had no father in the picture and I don't even think Renee was sure of who he was. When I was younger, Renee switched boyfriends like I switched socks often times she pulled me along for the ride. She got married once, I think that lasted three months...if that. I can vaguely remember living in that little yellow house for a short time.

Renee and I often bounced from house to house, each time I would meet her piece of shit flavor of the week. We would play house for a little while and when she would soon realize she was tired of playing mommy. She would take me back to grandma and papa's the only place that was stable.

I understand parents have to work...good for you. However, Renee took it to a new level when she found a job at a local neighborhood dive bar. I've always heard people say leave work at work; however, Renee decided to bring her work home. I couldn't begin to count how many boyfriends she went through, but one thing I did notice was how she changed for each one them.

As I got older, I saw what men could do to women and what a women would do for a man's attention. I swore I would never be like that, that I would never allow a man to run my whole life the way Renee would let them run hers. Hell, in Renee's world, if she wasn't happy, no one was happy. I was the happiest with my grandparents, they were the only structure I had.

I don't understand why she didn't leave me there, but I guess this time she thought she could do better. Renee had bought a house and planned on taking me to live with her. I was devastated. My grandma cried for days, Renee had no clue how to be a mom, let alone how to take care of me.

It became pretty apparent that she only cared about herself. She still wanted to party with her friends. She had people over all hours of the night and I would be told "just stay in your room Bella." All I wanted to do was go back to my grandparents house, I knew they loved me and wanted me.

Taking me to school, was something Renee had trouble fitting into her busy schedule. However, she had to be in control and even if it was her fault that I didn't get where I needed to be on time. Well, let's just say she never saw it as her fault. It was always mine and I always got into trouble because of it. Honestly, it got to the point that I didn't even want to be home anymore.

Alice and I met in study hall during high school, even though she was a few years older than me. We clicked right away and were inseparable. She understood Renee in all her crazy and helped me get through the hard times. Alice was the only other one who I considered a stable person in my life.

The older I got the worse Renee got and the less amount of time I spent at home. By this time Ali could drive so she would pick me up. It's funny how Renee acted, I mean, when she had friends over all she wanted me to do was hide in my room; however, when Ali and I wanted to do something I had to call Renee. It was all about control because she didn't care where I was or who I was with as long as I was out of her hair. Nevertheless, all that changed when Renee learned that I had something to care about.

I can remember my first boyfriend, he was gorgeous blonde hair and blue eyes; I could get lost in those blues. He was older than me, I was only fifteen at the time and he was nineteen, but I didn't care and neither did he. We met at the local pool hall where a large group of us hung out a lot. I was in love with him and when Renee found out; she did everything in her power to try to keep us apart. She grounded me, stalked me, and even went as far as taking away phone privileges. Only because I was happy once again in my life and she wasn't.

It finally got to the point that I couldn't take it anymore and told her we broke up; I wanted her off my back. Hell, having a boyfriend and being happy became a battle I was tired of fighting with her. If only she would have left me to my own devices I could have had a better idea of how to deal with men. However, Renee being who she was decided to sit me down and tell me how bad men really are and how horrible they treat women. "They use them" ...blah, blah, blah. It was out of control really.

The stress at home was really getting to me and I needed some way to deal with the stress she would put me under. It wasn't long before I started getting high all the time just to cope with life. The more she bitched and controlled the less amount of time I stayed at home. We spent the weekends at a local camp ground, and she never even said a word about it. She even knew it was a well known druggie hang out because she went there as a teenager.

My boyfriend and I never broke up like I had told Renee. In fact, at the time we were still seeing each other, it had been about two years by then. Hiding it from Renee wasn't always easy, but I managed to pull it off. She naively thought we just hung out with our friends and sometime Ali's girls were even with us.

I still got the speeches everyday about how not to let my life be ruined by a man, and getting caught up in the life of having them control me. She was the one who had to have total control over my life. If she didn't have control or think she had control she didn't like it.

The day I found out my boyfriend had enlisted and left for boot camp was one of the hardest days of my life. He never told me he was leaving and everything seemed so sudden. I remember crying when I found out, I just sat on my porch alone smoking to dull the pain. I was utterly crushed which clued Renee into figuring it out. It was everything she had been saying all along. She would tell me all over again trying to warn me and here it was I had thought he cared. I knew he was older, but I really thought he cared. Renee might be right. How can I ever trust a man again? I thought.